The Story of Four Friends
by Star of the North
Summary: Twenty years before Harry Potter entered Hogwarts for the first time, four young men had made that self-same journey. Twenty years before Harry Potter there were the Marauders. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. This is their story. Post HBP. Complete.
1. Where Everything Began

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Hey, there! Welcome to the 2006 edition of _The Story of Four Friends_! The brand-new, sparkly, spiffy version! No, really.

After much deliberation and a hiatus of a year or so that was started by an unlucky chain of events, continued by a huge writer's block and then went on forever because of reasons that will be soon revealed, I have decided to rewrite _The Story of Four Friends_, because I couldn't handle the disorganized way in which I had written the earlier version, not to speak of the grammar and the general construction. _Story_ was written chapter by chapter without any organized chapter plan and no defined plot. After writing my Founders fic, _Tale of a Time Long Gone_, I have realized that the only way in which I can complete a story is by having everything pre-planned. Plus, ff now has a much nicer variety of things that can be done than when I first uploaded the story ;), such as Italics…

That is the reason behind _Story_'s prolonged hiatus and the cause for this rewrite. Hopefully this is the better, more canon-ish, much improved version. Now with precise full moon dates!

Enjoy!

P.S. Oh. Preface for this chapter is supposed to be dated not long after the DoM happenings at the end of OotP. Story itself is now updated (as much as I could) according to the canon in HBP.

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_I had never expected to have this duty thrust upon me. I had never expected to be the one to tell this tale. It had never seemed necessary, back in those days. I suppose I always thought they would be there forever for him. Be there for me._

_In my mind's eye I had always thought we would all sit there, on the back balcony of their lovely little house at Godric's Hollow and tell him the story of our seven years at Hogwarts, the secret passages and the hidden rooms, warn him to always keep an eye out for Filch and his infernal cat, teach him pranks. Then, in that wonderful world of my illusions, we would all laugh and remember the good times, when we had escaped Head Students and Prefects and had done all we could to avoid being caught in the act, the excuses we used to make up. We would tell him about the map and how it was his duty to save it from that locked drawer in the Caretaker's office._

_But it had all came tumbling down in the end, didn't it? Serves me right for thinking I had the right to a good life. Serves me right for thinking I could have friends. They are gone. Gone before he even got to know them. Gone before they could tell him how much they loved him. Gone before I could tell them they were everything to me. _

_And now that Sirius is gone…_

_Gone. How can this possibly be? How can I, of us all, be the last Marauder? _

_It sounds so wrong to my ears. I was never _a_ Marauder. We were always together. Almost from the very start none of us was ever alone. We were always _the_ Marauders, the four of us. Always._

_When I had first met him, their only son, the only remnant to my two best friends, he had been a boy of thirteen. A little boy, but one who had already fought and survived Voldemort three times. What did we know at thirteen? All we had cared about was playing pranks on everyone and teasing the girls. So I didn't tell him the story then, even though I should have done so. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't get the words out of my mouth._

_It had been twelve years since that Hollowe'en. Twelve years since that betrayal._

_The next time I had seen him he was already fifteen. Grown bitter from all he had been forced to endure. I do not blame him. _

_Still I could not bring myself to tell him. The pain was too fresh, even after all that time. Wounds that I thought sealed for good had started bleeding again, opened by the discovery that it had been Wormtail who had betrayed them. The one who had betrayed us all._

_But then Sirius… No. I cannot bring myself to say this. Though I know I will never see him again, I cannot use this word in context to Sirius Black. Not the temperamental, blunt Sirius Black who was always the liveliest of us all, so full of mischief and verve. All I can say is that now I finally realized that I am the only one left who is able to tell him our story. The whole story. The story only four people in this entire world had ever known in full._

_One is dead - betrayed by the second. The third is gone. The fourth… the fourth is me._

_This story begins - and apparently ends - with me._

_Sometimes I think that if it were not for me none of this would have happened. And even though I know that it is not right, I cannot stop blaming myself. If I had not been bitten, then I would have been like everyone else and probably sorted into Ravenclaw. If Dumbledore had not taken pity on me and invited me to Hogwarts despite the Bite then I would never have met them, and if I would never have met them, then they would never have discovered my secret, and if they never would have discovered my secret, then they never would have become Animagi for my sake. If I would never have befriended them, then they would not have befriended the traitor and therefore would have never died, but… so many 'what if's… so many options for stories that will never be told. This one, as sad as it is, had happened, and nothing can be done to change it._

_This is the story of Harry's parents. It's a story about loyalty, love and friendship. It's a story about pain, tears and those most loathsome words - Treachery and betrayal._

_Parts of it I had not witnessed myself - I have been told of them later. Some I learned from Harry himself much later on._

_It is the story of my life._

_Who am I?_

_I am Remus John Lupin. A werewolf. _

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**Chapter One - Where Everything Began**

Kings Cross Station, Platform Nine and Three Quarters, ten fifteen on the morning of September first 1971 is where it all began, for better or for worse.

They had arrived there rather early, long before the main rush of latecomers. A woman and a boy crossed the barrier, appearing to be normal as any mother and son, the woman clutching her son's hand as she pushed him through the solid-seeming wall. Nothing could be farther from the truth, however. These were Saffron Lupin and her son, Remus, who had stopped being just the average boy almost seven years before, in one fateful moment.

"It will be fine, Remus," Saffron told her son encouragingly, putting her hand on his shoulder in a reassuring manner. She was a tall, handsome, rather young woman, who nonetheless had deeply etched worry lines on her face. She tried to smile for Remus' sake, but he knew she was anxious about him. "No one will know," she continued in a rush. "Professor Dumbledore has assured me it shall remain a secret. Only the staff will know of your condition, dear, and only so they can help you, all right?"

The eleven-year-old boy nodded noncommittally, remaining unconvinced. From the moment his euphoria at actually receiving his Hogwarts letter despite his condition had evaporated, he started feeling terrified that the other children would soon discover his lycanthropy and would shun him. It had always happened that way and he saw no reason for this time to be any different. People were the same everywhere. Humans did not change from place to place. He had learned that bitter lesson a long time ago, at a very young age. However, this was not what bothered him. What really scared him the most at the moment was that he would somehow escape whatever contraption Dumbledore had made ready and bite someone else. This concern had been unintentionally drilled into his mind years before.

Remus' thoughts reeled and turned to the quiet doubts that filled every corner of his mind again and again. No matter how much he tried clearing his head and thinking of something else, the frightening thoughts kept coming.

He had only been a little boy when he had gotten his Bite, but for that he was considered a monster ever since. True, once a month he indeed was that monster, but that did not mean he was not human the rest of the time, did it? It was not like anyone could spot him as a werewolf just by looking at him. He looked just like an ordinary boy, albeit slightly too pale. He looked just the same as the boy he had been before Fenrir Greyback had arrived at the neighbourhood, targeting the Lupin boy. Since then, every time the full moon came about, his parents would lock him up in a specially-made basement, hoping he would not manage to get through the 6 inch thick door installed at the only opening to that confining cellar.

At eleven, Remus could be considered a rather good looking boy with a promise that may or may not be fulfilled that he would grow to be a handsome man as well. Quite tall for his age, he often walked stooped in an attempt to hide himself from those who had made it their habit to ridicule him. He had wavy, light-brown hair bordering on honey-blond that he allowed to fall onto his face, hiding himself behind a curtain of hair. Anyone who managed to get a peek of what was behind the hair would see startlingly light-blue eyes and a very pale, thin face - especially so now that it was so near full moon. His meticulously ironed and cleaned robes practically hung from his thin frame, his gauntness marking the nearing transformation.

Saffron Lupin glanced at her watch, shook her head sadly, and then gave her son one critical inspection before sighing and bending to hug him. He could feel a single tear hitting his cheek and he knew it was not his. He had not cried in many years. Not since his first full moon. His mother sniffled loudly and then gently said "Remus, darling, I trust I don't need to remind you that once you're on that train you must take extra care of what you tell people?"

He shook his head wearily. He knew it by heart. His future in Hogwarts depended on his ability to keep his secret to himself. He vowed that he would not fail.

"Goodbye, Remus," she whispered so softly that even he, with his intensified hearing could barely hear her. Then her voice grew loud again. "Promise me you will eat properly and please learn to talk to people. You will never find any friends if you don't open your mouth. If there's any problem whatsoever I want you to send Zephyr home posthaste and inform your father and me. If something's bothering you - go talk to Dumbledore - he's always ready to listen, and he assured me that you will have free access to his office at all times." She then kissed him and helped him heave his trunk into the train. After kissing him again, she left. He knew she could barely control the tears that brimmed in her eyes.

Once alone aboard the scarlet Hogwarts Express, Remus started looking for a place to sit. Having been quite early, he thought it would not be such a trouble, but while he and his mother had had their talk, people had streamed in and each saved a compartment for his or her friends. Being a self-made recluse, he did not want to intrude and ask to sit in a compartment with anyone. And so he walked along the train, poking his head as fast as he could into compartments. Finding them occupied, he hastily retreated.

Only once was he deterred from his escape. He just opened the door to a compartment when one of the occupants sent a hissing "_Mudblood!_" his way. He stood rooted to the spot. Two things ran in his shocked mind. The first was why would anyone call someone that horrible name, and the second was that by all rights that word should not be directed at him. While he was not pure-blooded and his father was, after all, a Muggle, his mother was from a long line of magic and therefore it was not right.

He was about to respond to that insult when the girl hissing it, a beautiful blonde several years his senior with her nose up in the air, turned to her companion, a boy his age with carefully trimmed black hair and sharp grey eyes, and said "These are people you should learn to avoid, Sirius. He would most likely end up in Hufflepuff. Duffers the lot of them. What do you want, Mudblood?" she then turned to Remus again, her eyes cold. "Get away from here and stop contaminating our compartment. Sirius - close the door!"

The boy called Sirius nodded tersely. He got up and walked to the door. The look on his face as he surveyed Remus was one of pure disdain and arrogance. His eyes, however, spoke of a very cynical approach to the girl's command. With one last, somewhat sneering, look, he slammed the door in Remus' face, leaving him very confused and thinking that this boy was not someone to be trifled with, and yet a whole lot different from what the girl saw in him.

Shaking the unpleasant experience away, Remus continued walking down the train. Finally, about halfway through, he found an empty compartment and settled down on one of the window seats, then taking out a book he had been reading for the past few weeks, a little bit at a time.

_Lycanthropy and How to Handle Your Monthly Indisposition_ was a rather new book his mother thought would be very helpful to him during his first few moons in a new place where things were bound to be frightening and uncertain. Preparing it for his Hogwarts stay, she had even charmed it to look like an old copy of _Easy Charms to Learn for Fun_ if anyone but Remus happened to look at it. It was an interesting read, he had to admit, but that did not stop it from being immensely depressing, as the author kept repeating on the phrase "and while there is not actual cure…" and others like it. It was mainly that which made him read only a little bit every day.

He was just past _Section 3.2. How to Deal with the Urge to Bite_ when a girl's voice shrieked somewhere down the train "James Potter! I _hate_ you! Today you've made an enemy out of Lily Evans - And I'll be your enemy forever! "

Startled, Remus was not even allowed a moment to recompose himself before the door to his compartment slid open in a rush and slammed closed again behind a panting boy who was choking on his laughter. He was quite short, bellow average that was for certain, but his body was lean and made him appear taller than he actually was. He had a mass of untidy black hair that looked so windswept that he might as well have gone through a hurricane to get to the Hogwarts Express. His large hazel eyes were framed by glasses that slid unnoticed to the tip of his long nose. He was already in robes, though they were not school robes, but finely-made everyday ones, of the type normally worn by the more traditional families of the Wizarding World.

It took the strange boy a moment or two to realize that he was not alone. Finally noticing Remus he straightened, pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and gave the young werewolf a mock salute. He had a wide smile on his face, and his friendly expression was the complete opposite of the one he had seen on that Sirius' face. Remus wondered how long that grin would last if the boy ever found out what he really was.

"Hello," the boy said, unaware of Remus' bitter thoughts, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "I'm James Potter, I'm very sorry to have barged in like this, but I had to escape a certain fire-breathing redhead, who is out for my blood for some reason beyond me." He flashed Remus a bright grin and seemed to suppress the urge to start laughing once more. "What did you say your name was?"

Remus stared at him. "Err… I didn't say. It's Remus. Remus Lupin."

James' grin grew even wider. "A pleasure. You're a first year, too, right? That's good. I was afraid I would be stuck with all those humourless pure-blooded prats that I know from my parents' parties. Such a bunch of useless gits you have never met in your life, I swear. It's good to meet a new face - one that doesn't have the urge to hex you senseless, mind you." He seated himself across Remus, immediately comfortable.

"I beg your pardon?" Remus asked weakly, overwhelmed by the boy's quick-paced pattern of speech. For the first time in his life he was tempted to think of someone as completely mental, not completely in grip with this world, and that was within two minutes of knowing the person. He doubted that he would be able to insert one word in the insanely hurried babble that he instinctively knew would soon follow his words.

"Oh, it's my fault, I'd be the first one to admit," James said cheerfully, looking not at all remorseful as his words may have suggested. "'Always own up to your actions', that's what my dad always tells me - and I do. I just had a little fun with that fire-breather. It's not _my_ fault she can't take a joke. Really, would you have taken that badly to having a balloon full of water explode on you? It's not even that cold! She would dry in no-time - especially now that _Kelly_ is on the case." Mentioning that name, James made a disgusted face. Whoever Kelly was, he was not on good terms with her.

"Kelly?" Remus mumbled faintly, feeling doomed to pronounce single-word sentences for as long as he would spend time with this boy.

"My cousin. She's a seventh year and now she's _Head Girl_. Pfft. She's going to be on my case from now until she leaves Hogwarts. You should have seen her face when she noticed fire-breather shouting herself hoarse at me. That's why I left in a hurry, see? She had that expression on her face that means she's going to tell on me to _someone_." James did not look at all bothered by that prospect. In fact, he looked downright happy.

"You seem rather unconcerned."

"Oh, I absolutely _love_ annoying Kelly. She's so prim and proper; she _needs_ me to burst her bubble every now and then. So, anyway, what do you do when you have to spend hours aboard a boring train?"

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The ride to Hogwarts could not have gone more differently than what Remus had originally expected. James, as it turned out by certain things he said, was a pure-blood from a long line of witches and wizards. He seemed to know everything and everyone there was to know in the Wizarding World and had no qualms on sharing his knowledge and opinions with the lonely boy he had just met. He seemed to be incredibly trusting, which made Remus slightly apprehensive, but James' cheerful nature soon won him over. It was hard not to, when the black-haired boy seemed so insistent on having Remus as a friend.

Soon he found himself engaged in a furious one-on-one Exploding Snap game, while James talked, and talked, and talked. The boy was extremely talkative, chatting about anything and everything, jumping from one subject to another without any noticeable connection. His mind almost seemed to stumble over itself in his hurry to tell Remus so many new things; it was a miracle that he never once pronounced a word unclearly. Remus was completely baffled by the strange boy, but James had a charm hard to ignore, and Remus found himself hesitatingly adding anecdotes of his own, trading jokes and laughing at James' amusing stories. His book lay forgotten by his side, and for a moment, just for a moment, he allowed himself to pretend that he was just a normal boy.

During the ride, people who apparently knew James from before had entered the compartment to exchange greetings and, sometimes, insults. James took it all in stride, but Remus could see that the other boy did not want to see most of these people, especially those who had insulted him. Uncomfortably, he remembered James' introduction at the very beginning of the trip, mentioning the 'humourless, pure-blooded prats'. These, it appeared, were the prats. They did not seem too bad to Remus, but during the time he had spent with James he noticed that though the other boy was definitely high up on the wizarding social scale, his interests lay elsewhere, and so he supposed that was why he disliked his peers.

Sometime in the middle of the ride an old lady with a trolley laden with goods arrived, cheerfully asking them whether they wanted something off the trolley. Enthusiastically, James took out of nowhere a handful of coins, slammed it into her hand and picked a variety of sweets and other sorts of food, waving aside Remus' protests that he could buy his own. The amount of sweets that soon sat on the seat next to James was big enough to last the two of them through all their Hogwarts years, or so he thought. It took a surprisingly short time for them to go through it. Though, admittedly, James ate most of it.

When Remus hesitatingly asked how he can eat so many sweets at one go, James shrugged and in the shortest sentence he had said ever since entering Remus' compartment explained that at home he rarely ate sweets, so this was his chance to stock up. He did not explain _why_ he rarely had sweets at home, and Remus, afraid of pushing too far and being shunted aside, did not pry.

A little while later, when James just finished dealing a fresh hand of cards, their compartment's door slid open and a tall girl with her long brown hair braided peeked into the compartment, her polite expression turning foul as she spotted James. Quickly glancing James' way, Remus noticed a similar expression on his face. Soon, however, his face cleared and a smirk spread on the other boy's lips.

"Why, good afternoon, my good cousin," he said with a jaunty hint to his voice. "How may I be of assistance?"

The girl, whom Remus surmised to be Kelly, scowled at the grinning James. "One day that big mouth of yours would get you in big trouble, James," she growled. "I've been looking for you, little cousin, and I think you know why."

"Though I am delighted at being at the top of your priorities, Kelly, I must say that I _don't_ know why. Enlighten me, if you please."

Remus watched this exchange with interest. James was a fantastic actor, was one thing he learned from observing the pair. While it was obvious that he knew precisely what had brought his Head Girl cousin to their compartment, nothing betrayed that apart of the amusement in his hazel eyes. As he had said, he enjoyed ticking off his cousin immensely, and by the looks of it, it happened often in the past. He had Kelly twisted right around his little finger.

"You little _brat_," she hissed. "Aunt Laura and Uncle Gavin may put up with this, but I most certainly will not. I am Head Girl this year, and I will have your obedience! If you put one toe out of line, I will put you in detention that will last you to the rest of your Hogwarts years! Do you understand that, _little cousin_?"

"Oh, I understand perfectly," James replied, now with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "I promise you this, Kelly. I never listened to any of your threats, and I have no intention to start listening now. You may prance about the school with your badge and impress the teachers and other students, but I am coming to Hogwarts in order to have fun, and fun I will have, no matter how. If you will try to stop me, it will mean war. Do you want that, Kelly? You know what I am capable of doing."

Kelly's face turned an even darker shade of anger. She towered over her rather short cousin and gritted "Then it's war, you little brat. I will haunt your every step, mark my words. You will spend so much time in detention that you will have a threat of suspension over your head the whole time. And guess what? Aunt Laura will hear of _every one of your exploits_."

"Fine," James replied indifferently.

"Fine!"

"_Fine!_"

"FINE!" Kelly finally shouted and got out of the compartment, slamming the door behind her.

Remus, who found this last part of the conversation very confusing, thought that James would be upset because of this declaration of war, that he would be slightly less jovial now, maybe downcast, but as he turned to look at the other boy, James only looked thoughtful, contemplating. But when he noticed Remus' eyes on him, he lifted his head and grinned, slightly raising his deck of cards.

"Exploding Snap?"

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Upon reaching the Hogsmeade station, dressed in their school robes (though James seemed reluctant to change out of his comfortable robes from home), the two boys exited the train in high spirits. However, as soon as the cold night air touched his cheeks Remus, a little less happy now that the prospect of not being at the same House as the boy he had befriended in a way hit him, felt his wide smile falter. Apprehension resumed its place in his mind. What would happen now?

As for James, he was completely unaware of Remus' anxiety and looked this way and that eagerly. Unlike other first years, who were terribly frightened of what was to become of them (the rumour persisted that during the sorting you had to fight some nasty dark creature - otherwise you would be kicked out), he was quite happily chatting to a silent Remus, coming up with the most frightful ideas of what the sorting consisted of and how he was certain they would both pass it easily.

The dimly lit platform was packed with students, chaotically moving. The main stream of students seemed to go in a certain direction, and the two of them made to follow when a huge voice boomed at them all above the heads of the entire student body.

"Firs' years! Firs' years over here!" the voice rumbled from the end of the platform, clearly heard even over the hubbub of older students conversing among themselves.

Looking ahead, Remus' eyes grew to the size of dinner plates when they met the sight of the gigantic form proceeding rapidly towards the crowd. It was a giant - a wild, coarse giant, with almost no face under a bush of combined hair and beard and who knew what else. His clothes could supply enough fabric for three different people, and Remus fashioned the ground practically groaned under his feet with every step he took.

"Bloody hell," James uttered next to him, obviously in awe. Thinking it took a lot to surprise James Potter, Remus found this achievement commendable. Looking back at James, he realized his friend was not there. Without much hesitation, the short boy was already halfway to the giant. Hurriedly, but not without caution, Remus followed. He arrived there just in time to hear James asking rather tactlessly, but to the point "Are you a giant?" which was followed by gasps of awe and fright from fellow first years who had taken his example and neared the giant man.

The man chuckled, though there was a strange glint in his eyes. "Nope. That I am not. Name's Hagrid - I'm the Gamekeeper here at Hogwarts. Now, are all the firs' years here?" When he was answered by a soft murmur of assent, he pointed, with a wide sweep of his hand at what appeared to be a dark, glittering surface. "A pleasure ter meet you. Now up you go and into the boats."

"Boats?" Remus heard someone asking faintly, as though they were about to be sick.

They walked in a tight group after Hagrid as he led them towards the surface, which turned out to be the very edge of a large lake, where a long line of small boats awaited.

"Four ter a boat!" Hagrid boomed. "C'mon! Hurry up!"

Not surprisingly, James was one of the first to dare settle in a boat, quickly followed by Remus, who did not want to sit with someone whom he did not know. The two others on their boat was a small, mousy girl with curly black hair who seemed to shrink into her seat, and an averagely built blonde boy, who was most likely of Muggle heritage, seeing the stunned expression on his face as he looked all around him.

Soon enough all children were in the boats and then they all shot like arrows in the direction of the huge cliff on top which the castle was perched. The rather cold, though exhilarating cruise was followed by a long climb within the cliff, that led them all the way up to the front doors of Hogwarts.

Remus could not believe that he was really going to set foot within the school. After all this time, after the relaxed ride, and the fun and the excitement at having someone befriend him unconditionally, the inconceivability of the situation struck him once more. He, a werewolf, was actually entering Hogwarts. The impossible has turned possible after all.

A stern witch called Professor McGonagall, whose name Remus had recognized from his Hogwarts letter which he had disbelievingly read again and again since it had arrived, led them in a big group into the Great Hall in which four tables stretched on until they stopped in front of a raised dais on which sat the staff. As she gave them a succinct welcome, the young werewolf decided this was not a woman to be trifled with and in his mind was resolute to never give her cause to punish him.

Remus' anxiety grew to a very high level. The possibility that he may not be in the same House as James, that only started to rear its ugly head on the platform, now tried to consume his thoughts. It was one chance in a million that James had been so friendly to him in the first place. He very much doubted it would happen again.

It felt so _good_ to have James with him on the train. When they were on the train he felt like a normal boy once more. He could not face those seven years by himself now that he had seen the prospect of friendship. And so, as he walked with the rest of his year up to the front of the Hall where a ragged hat sat on a three-legged chair, his stomach clenched in growing fear.

It seemed however, that James was little affected by the fear that filled all the first years, and he did not seem aware to the fact that Remus was on the verge of panic. In fact, as they were striding past so many staring faces, he happily continued whispering remarks to Remus about what he knew of the school and the people who went to it. He was almost indifferent to the fact that they were about to face the event that would determine the rest of their lives at Hogwarts. He walked leisurely along everyone else, once again wondering aloud what kind of test they would have to pass in order to be sorted into one of Hogwarts' four Houses.

Soon (to the relief of everyone apart of James who, by what Remus could hear, was rather hoping to fight a three-headed dragon), it became apparent that the only thing they had to do to be sorted was to put on the hat on the chair and wait until it decided which House they fitted in (or at least that was what Remus deducted from the rather odd song the Hat sang).

As soon as the song ended, McGonagall once again stepped in front of the jittery first years, and informing them they had to put the Hat on upon being called, unfolded a long piece of parchment and started reading out names.

"Angleforth, Dana."

"Hufflepuff!"

"Aster, David."

"Ravenclaw!"

"Armsworth, Tessa."

"Ravenclaw!"

The first Gryffindor to be sorted was the shy-looking girl who had shared the boat-ride with them, and who had answered to "Banks, Haley." She nervously walked away from the Hat, joining the loudly cheering table under the scarlet and golden banner. From the responses of the various tables to their newly-sorted members and from James' tales, Remus held his fingers crossed and hoped that the Hat would shout "Gryffindor!" when his turn would come. However, he knew that most likely he would end up Ravenclaw, like his mother. He was the studious type, and that seemed to be the House for people like him. He very much doubted James would fit there, and that heightened his apprehension.

After a couple more B's, McGonagall called for "Black, Sirius."

Remus, from his place in the line, watched as the boy from the train sauntered out of the line, his robes practically billowing as his wide strides led him to the stool on which the Hat was sitting. The arrogant expression still on his handsome face, he raised the Hat to his head and settled down to wait the verdict, a somewhat bitter half-smile on his lips, as though he knew exactly where he was going to end up.

The Hat was on his head for the longest time yet. It seemed to deliberate long on where to put the boy, which did not settle well with the expression that was on his face. When it finally opened its mouth, the word that fell clearly out was "Gryffindor!"

Around him, all over the Hall, whispers began, coupled with gasps and gaping faces. Something was awry. Remus only had to glance at the Slytherin table to understand that this was not what they had expected to hear. The frozen expression on the blonde girl who was on the train with Sirius Black had said it all. To her, Gryffindor was not an option, and it definitely was not what she thought would be called. As he happened to glance at the Ravenclaw table, however, there was one face there that instead of shock showed a mixture of happiness and pride, but also apprehension. It was an older girl, perhaps a seventh year, with long brown locks and sharp features. Her grey eyes were trained on Sirius Black, who still had not taken the hat off.

Next to him, he could hear James' low whistle. He looked his friend's way and raised an eyebrow in question. Apparently James, as a pureblood, knew more about this business than he did.

"Blacks always go into Slytherin," the black-haired boy said in a way of answer, noticing his look, but then frowning as though he wanted to correct himself, yet immediately shushed when McGonagall sent a furious glance his way.

A curious expression now took over Black's face. It was a peculiar mix of fear, excitement and disdain. His steps no longer sure and wide, dragging his feet, Sirius Black made his way to the Gryffindor table.

A few more names later, "Evans, Lily" was called. Lily Evans was a small redhead girl, with her robes in order and a dignified spring to her step. That was all he could see before she turned her back on the other first years and walked towards the Hat. Beside him, he could feel James tense. When the girl was declared a Gryffindor, the boy's shoulders slumped. Glancing at him, Remus could see a wry expression taking control of the boy's features.

"What did I do wrong?" he muttered with a small sigh of frustration.

Sooner than he would have wished, Remus clearly heard his own name being called. His feet felt as though they were made of solid lead. He gulped heavily but did not seem to be able to move. What if he would be denounced as a werewolf by the Hat? Mocked by all and kicked out of the school? He would not bear seeing the disgust on James' face.

It is possible that, left to his own volition, he would have stood there for ever, but a discrete shove from James got him to finally move. There was no going back now, he knew. The eyes of the entire Hall were on him. Breathing heavily, he walked up to the Hat, feeling all those eyes trained on him, not missing a step. He put the Hat on.

"_Now, you're an interesting one, aren't you?_" a voice muttered in his ear, making him flinch involuntarily. He repressed an urge to look about him wildly, hoping that he was not imagining the voice in the darkness of the Hat. "_I don't think I ever had to Sort one of your kind. Is Dumbledore's mind slipping - or does he know what he's getting himself into? Oh, but he does! I can see your mind, boy - and what a remarkable mind it is. You would fit right in, in Ravenclaw. But I see a greater destiny than that for you and there is only one house that can bring you up to this destiny… _GRYFFINDOR!"

Nearly deaf from the Hat's irritating monologue and from the furious clapping coming from the Gryffindor table, Remus made his way to that selfsame table and seated himself next to Sirius Black, who moved a bit away, a cold, disgusted expression on his chiseled face. The weak smile Remus sent his way was promptly ignored. He decided that there was no point in trying to coax the boy into speaking, and so he turned his attention to the rest of the Sorting, watching James, who looked more impatient now than anything else. Watching him proved to be very entertaining, for looking at him, Remus could see what he thought of each person being sorted. It was especially amusing when one "Palmer, Keira," was called. At that point, when the girl was sorted into Gryffindor, James' shoulders slumped very low and his face contorted in a mask of pain.

More names had passed before McGonagall had called "Potter, James" to be sorted. Unconsciously holding his fingers crossed, Remus raptly watched as James stepped out of the dwindling line of first years, his head held aloft, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

He walked slowly to the Hat, knowing that every eye was on him, and then, without warning, started blowing mock kisses in every direction. He persisted in it until he was halfway there. Around that time McGonagall snapped at him to get on with it, and he, with a cheeky smile directed at his furious cousin at the Ravenclaw table, continued in a slightly faster pace, sat on the chair and pulled the Hat down on his head. It seemed as though the Hat had barely touched him when it almost jumped on his head, opened its mouth, and roared with the greatest voice it could muster "GRYFFINDOR!"

James, entirely unfazed, got up and with a strangely proud smile walked to the Gryffindor table, settling in the free space between Remus and the little, chubby boy who had answered to the name "Pettigrew, Peter".

Once the sorting was over, and the wondrous feast that had magically appeared on the plates was gobbled up by hundreds of hungry boys and girls, the Headmaster, the acclaimed Albus Dumbledore himself, rose and lifted his hands. The Hall fell into immediate silence, and Remus watched in awe as he laid eyes for the first time on the man who, unbeknownst to him, had changed his life for ever with that simple invitation to be a student in Hogwarts.

"Another year has come upon us - for better or for worse," the tall old man started, his eyes twinkling. "And as in each year, I have a few necessary announcements. First of all, the Forbidden Forest is completely out of bounds to all students. No magic is to be used in the corridors between classes. Biting Boomerangs have been added to the list of forbidden objects - the full list can be found in Mr. Filch's office.

"Any second year and above who wishes to join his or her House team, please contact Madam Hooch for further info-"

Remus, who had raptly listened to the notes given by the Headmaster, was shaken out of his concentration by James' consternated remark on how unfair was the rule that only students from second year and above could join the Quidditch teams. He shook his head at James, whispering that anyway, he was too small - no one would want a Chaser, James' best position, who could be trampled by any passing player.

Before he could get over the shock of actually teasing someone and before panic at maybe losing James' friendship because of that remark could set in, James' face contorted and he ducked his head under the table, stifling laughter that was still heard, earning the two of them another condescending glance from Black and disapproving looks from some of the older students.

Presently, Dumbledore reached the end of his speech and before bidding them all goodnight, issued one last note. "All students should be aware that this summer Professor Sprout has added another specimen to her collection of destructive plants. Students must not go near the large willow planted on the grounds. It is a rare kind of tree and a violent one. Do not put yourself at risk. This is not a laughing matter, and unheeding my warning could have fatal outcomes. You have been warned."

As soon as the student body started getting up, groaning and yawning, conversing among themselves about the matter of the new tree, a fifth year student with a badge pinned to her front called for all the Gryffindor first years to follow her. She led them to the Gryffindor common room, which was the base of Gryffindor Tower, where the dormitories were situated.

Remus and James loitered in the common room for a short while, examining what would be their place to relax and study in for the next seven years. It looked like a comfortable place, with plushy armchairs, many small tables and a roaring fireplace. Remus thought he could get used to the idea of thinking of this place as home.

When they finally entered the circular room a few steps up the boys' staircase from the common room that would function as their dormitory during their Hogwarts lives, Remus stared around in awe, an expression he felt almost engraved on his face since that morning. Four four-poster beds were arrayed around the room, each with heavy scarlet hangings surrounding it and each having a small bedside table. One of the beds was already occupied, its hangings flung shut. Another showed an already deeply asleep Peter Pettigrew.

"Must be Black," James said softly, nodding at the shut curtains. "I don't think he was very much happy to find himself a Gryffindor."

"Neither do I," Remus concurred, sighing. As much as Black was unfriendly to them all, he did not think it was right for him to isolate himself needlessly. At the moment, however, there was nothing he could do, and so he bid James goodnight and, after changing and closing the curtains around his bed, went to sleep, his first day at Hogwarts complete.

**Well? What did you think? Please review and tell me, because it means a lot to me and helps me along - so please do write and express your opinion on this new version of the old story!**

**Thank you very much!**

**-Star of the North**


	2. The Outsider

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Gah. It annoyed me to no end that if you replace a chapter then Author Alerts are not released, but I suppose it makes sense, after all… either way, this is the second chapter of my revised Marauders fic. I hope you enjoy it!

Anyhoo, early chapter this week - because I won't be home tomorrow to upload it. Hope it's okay with everyone...

Oh, I thought I'd mention it, since I've been asked about it. This story is _supposed_ to go all the way to Hollowe'en 1981, but it may change according to my muse's functions… either way, first few years will be skimmed through, concentrating on fifth to seventh years (and beyond, if the muse cooperates).

Enjoy!

**Chapter Two - The Outsider**

Black's bed was empty the next morning when James and Remus got up and got ready to start their actual first day as first years at Hogwarts. Remus himself had long since woken up, and he had not heard a noise coming from the rest of the dormitory, and therefore concluded that the angry boy had left very early that morning.

As for James, he had only woken when the alarm clock the third boy in the dormitory, Peter, had set started ringing, and even then it was with great reluctance.

While the grumbling James dragged himself to the bathroom to shower and get ready, Remus decided to try and get to know the third boy. Even though he was not certain of how to get at it, he realized that spending the next seven years keeping away from his dormmate would be sheer folly.

"Um… hello," he finally said. It was hard for him to start a conversation just like that. The day before it had been James who had initiated everything to begin with, and now that he had to do the same, Remus was unsure of how to approach the small boy. For James it seemed to come so naturally, but Remus never was the social type. Not in a very long time, anyway. "I'm Remus. You're Peter, right?"

"Err… y-yes," the boy stuttered. "P-Peter Pettigrew. N-nice to m-meet you."

Remus frowned. "Did you always have that speech impediment?"

"Impedi-what?" Peter frowned back, not stuttering this time.

"Never mind," Remus said, deciding that the boy was just nervous. He wondered why. Unless Peter somehow recognized him to be a werewolf, there was no reason for him to be nervous. It was not as though Remus was a scary boy. At least that was what he liked to think. He was spared further pondering of this as James chose that moment to return from the bathroom, his damp hair sticking in crazy angles all over his head.

"Ready to go?" the short boy asked, shaking his head much as a dog would do, spraying his surroundings, including Remus and Peter, with water.

"Almost," Remus replied, pulling a jumper on before he slid the robes over his head. It was unseasonably chilly that morning, and he really preferred not to catch a cold only three days before full moon, which would leave him even more weakened and more susceptible to the wolf's killer instinct.

"You'll be dying of heat by midday," James informed him as they made their way through the common room in the direction of the portrait hole, Peter Pettigrew trailing somewhat behind. "It's just cold because the sun's not entirely up yet."

Remus shrugged. "Then I'll go to the bathroom and remove the jumper without anyone catching me out of uniform. It's not that big a deal."

"Suit yourself," James shrugged. "Just don't say I didn't tell you."

The Great Hall was already packed by the time they arrived for breakfast, and they had only barely managed to squeeze into one of the spaces left, mostly done by James' elbow-work. Almost as soon as they settled, Professor McGonagall, who turned to be Gryffindor's Head of House, thrust two bits of parchment into their hands with their timetable for that year on them. James had only given his parchment a cursory glance before delving into his breakfast. Remus, however, carefully inspected that day's schedule, noting what subjects they were about to begin that day. He also noted that to his own timetable was attached a smaller piece of parchment that informed him on how to find the Headmaster's office if he needed to talk and what was the password. After doing that, he took James' example and started on his breakfast. The food was good and plentiful, and when they had had their fill, the two started looking for where they would be having their first class of the day - Charms with Professor Flitwick.

As it turned out, it was one of those cases of easier said than done.

Almost out of breath, the two boys broke into Charms classroom, only to be stared at by a silent class. Remus winced. Even though they had asked for directions several times, they still managed to get lost on the way to this class. It was not the impression he had wanted to make on his very first day of school. His circumstances did not allow him to slip, he felt. He could practically feel the disdainful look sent their way by Black who was sitting by himself to one side, and the smug expression on the redheaded Lily Evans' face, as well as the curiously annoyed one on that of the brown-haired girl sitting by her side.

The tiny professor who taught Charms peered at them from atop his pillowed seat, bewildered. "And you are?" he asked in a squeaky voice, consulting his list.

James lost no time in opening his mouth and spouting words in that already-familiar torrent that could only barely be followed. "We're really, really, really, really, _really_ sorry, Professor. You see, this morning, my dear friend Remus here had a slight problem - he wouldn't wake up which in turn resulted in us being late for breakfast and we couldn't miss breakfast, you know, because it's the most important meal of the day, what with all the energy you need to get in order to study properly, and if you don't eat it your body starts eating itself up and that wouldn't be a nice sight, now would it? Furthermore, I would like to comment on this school's _fabulous_ bell system which - I fear is - err… Five minutes early, you see! So, you understand, it's not really _us_ who were late - it's the _bell_ that is _early_ and therefore-"

Flitwick raised his hand, attempting to stop the flood of explanations tumbling out of the boy's mouth. But James had to have the last word, and so he took one deep breath and completed his speech in a rush. "-and therefore we are not to blame for being late."

The tiny Professor atop his mountain of pillows seemed rather dazed, quite as much as Remus had felt on the train the previous day. He would soon enough realize that this was a very common reaction with everyone meeting James Potter for the first time. "Very well - Potter, is it? You two may go to your seats. This time I will not take points off your house, but bear in mind that next time I will."

Still shocked by what had just happened, at going away unpunished even though they were late on the very first day of school, Remus followed his very much cheerful friend to the desk at the very back of the classroom - the only place left. Bemused and unsure of what to make of it, he was only half-listening to Flitwick's opening speech when he heard a girl's voice whisper.

"Psst! Imbecile!" the harsh whisper penetrated his thoughts. "That was a very nice speech you just spewed - did you have to rehearse it six times before breakfast? If you hadn't then maybe you wouldn't have been _late_."

The words were directed at a rather annoyed-looking James who had wasted no time whispering back "Did your broomstick get even deeper up your arse since last we met, Keira? Or is it just that you've decided Kelly is your role-model?"

The girl, whom Remus recognized as "Palmer, Keira" from the sorting ceremony, the same one who sat to one side of Lily Evans, sniffed and turned back to face Flitwick. She was rather tall for a girl her age, and Remus privately thought that James probably resented her for towering over him. He could not imagine any other reason. She had shoulder-length brown hair and bright blue eyes that right now scowled at James. She did not seem to like him much.

"Why is she in Gryffindor?" James muttered to Remus dejectedly, his cheer evaporating like mists in the wind.

"Who is she?" he whispered back.

"My cousin."

His eyebrows almost climbing to his hairline, Remus looked back and forth from the girl to James. They had nothing in common, though, if he looked closely, they both had a rather long nose and both had a certain way in which they carried themselves, but that could be just their way of upbringing. Either way, left to his own mind, he would never have guessed their kinship.

Presently, Keira Palmer noticed his glance and glowered at him, her eyes narrowing. With that one change of expression, Remus surmised from now on he would be tarred with the same brush as James. He had Keira's immediate dislike.

"Don't mind her, Remus," James snorted, catching his cousin's eye and making a very rude gesture in her direction, narrowly missed by their tiny professor. "She's just a foul little fiend." After saying that, he sank into silent brooding, obviously not waiting for a reply from Remus, who, in turn, was too polite and wary of losing James' friendship to inquire further.

By the end of the lesson, Remus had on the table in front of him a parchment full of notes, remarks and small illustrations meant to make Professor Flitwick's explanations clear. James, on the other hand, had not lifted his quill _once_ during the entire lesson, and still, when it was time to put theory into use, he was the second to manage levitating his feather, only topped by Lily Evans who had managed it a minute or so before him. The casual, almost uncaring way in which he swished and flicked had shocked Remus as he saw the feather float in front of his eyes. It seemed as though James did not even _try_.

To his great relief, he himself managed to accomplish the same feat a few minutes later, and was happy to discover that even though he was a werewolf, that did not mean that he was unaccomplished in magic.

The two boys left Charms in a rather good mood, though a moment or so later, once they were alone, James grimaced. "I'm doomed," he told Remus.

"Oh?"

"That horrible Evans girl was sitting right next to Keira - didn't you notice that?"

Failing to see what this had to do with anything, Remus nodded.

James sighed. "This means that they have befriended, which, in the long run, is not good for me. If Keira is friends with the fire-breather, I'll never hear the end of this. She'll probably invite her over in the summer, and since I have to spend so much time at Keira's place or she in mine, that means I'll have to see that ugly freckled face every time Mum sends me over to her house. Talk about _annoying_."

In the privacy of his mind, he did not think that 'that horrible Evans girl' was that bad. She did not look it, anyway. Her long, wavy dark red hair was surely the cause of the nickname given to her by James only the day before - fire-breather - but aside of that he did not notice signs of bad temper from her. She _did_ seem disapproving at their late entrance to the class, but that was to be expected if she was the good student he thought her to be. She had quite a few freckles on her pale face, he had to admit, but she was not ugly. Her bright green eyes were fixed all lesson long on the Professor and she had taken almost double the amount of notes Remus had. He failed to comprehend James' immediate dislike of her.

Almost as though summoned by James' sulky tone, Evans and Keira appeared in front of them, walking in a rather leisurely pace in the direction of their next class, History of Magic with Professor Binns. The two girls were laughing and were accompanied by three other girls, who were in various states of giggles.

When they entered the classroom James walked straight to the back seats. He seemed to like it there. When Remus asked him why, he grinned mischievously and said that sitting on the back would most likely attract the least attention from the teachers, which meant he could get away with not listening.

Professor Binns had not yet entered the class, and so all students were still carefree, as all students are prone to be in the absence of their elders. From his place at the back beside James, just chatting with his friend on the matter of Quidditch - James' favourite topic of conversation it turned out - Remus could survey the Gryffindor year without being noticed.

The girls were all sitting in a giggling group at the front of the classroom, Keira and Evans at the center of the group. To one side of Evans was a girl with pretty features that held a promise of making the girl a sheer beauty one day in the future. She had long, silky blond hair and her dark brown eyes were surrounded by thick, long lashes which were lowered at the moment, her eyes narrowed into two thin slits in her mirth at whatever it was Keira had just said.

The girl by her side had the same lovely features, declaring her to be some sort of relation, but unlike the first girl, she was pale and looked ill, even though at the moment a fragile smile made her look lively as any. She had reddish-brown hair and the same dark eyes. Remus decided the two were twins. They had too many similar gestures and features. They almost seemed to copy each other's reactions.

The last girl was the small, slightly mousy girl that was in their boat the night before, Haley Banks. She sat a little ways a way from the other four, glancing at them every once in a while, a small smile curling her lips despite herself. Her grey eyes were trained on the other girls now, and Remus had no trouble reading the look in them. She was wishing to be one of them. He knew that all-too-well, having been in her situation most of his childhood. He could not help but glance at the talking James in appreciation of what he now had.

After reassuring himself that James was really there, he searched for the two other boys he knew would be there. Peter was sitting not far from the girls, his eyes on the table in front of him, oblivious to his surroundings, it seemed. He did not pluck the courage to try and befriend anyone in his year.

And then, then there was Black, who, the same as he did in Charms, was sitting by himself, scowling at the world in general.

Remus knew it would be a long road yet for this group of people to become a united one as he had heard normally happened at Hogwarts. In fact, at that moment, only a day into school, he felt doubtful that it would ever happen. They were just too different, or had deep chasms between them, too deep to bridge.

The rest of that day continued slowly and surely. History of Magic had to be one of the dullest subjects to be learned at Hogwarts, Remus surmised. It might not have been this bad if the teacher was different, but old Professor Binns, who had trudged into the classroom punctually on time, was set in his ways and appeared to be determined to pass his material in the driest, most boring fashion possible. Even diligent Evans' eyelids were drooped and heavy by the time that class came to an end.

The next class after that, however, was the absolute opposite. The first impression Remus had gotten of McGonagall was correct. She was a strict teacher, who did not allow dallying about in her classroom. She took her subject, Transfiguration, very seriously, and they would soon all learn that she behaved harshly toward those who did not at least _try_ and succeed in her lessons. They had not done any practical magic on their first ever lesson, but the complex diagrams they had to copy from the board were hard enough to figure out. Again, though, James only paid very little attention to it, quickly scribbling the diagrams the professor had drawn and then going back to his daydreaming. If McGonagall had noticed, she had yet to mention it.

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Their very first Potions class of the year the next day turned out to be a nightmare. It was not so much the teacher, for Professor Slughorn was a cheery enough man, something that did not sit well with what Remus had heard of Slytherins, and the large-bellied, rather short man was the head of that House, but because of something entirely different. It so happened that because of some demented notion thought up sometime in the dark ages, the traditional pairing in this class was Slytherin and Gryffindor. This combination, to say the least, was quite literally explosive.

Remus and James had entered the classroom last, having delayed that morning at the breakfast table, and unfortunately, by the time they got in, there were no two seats free side by side. Without much fuss, the professor assigned them to two different seats. James was sent to a seat at the very back of the room between Black and another black-haired boy Remus vaguely associated from the sorting with a name that sounded similar to the word 'Snake', though he was most likely mistaken about that. Remus was promptly pointed to the empty seat next to James' fiery cousin, Keira, and was told to work with her.

Professor Slughorn seemed to practically ignore the apparent rivalry between his students. To Remus it seemed as though he was hunting for something amongst them. He set them working on a simple potion (right after the obligatory start-of-year introduction into Potions, during which he had mention a name of a plant that made Remus shudder just to hear it) and walked among them, peering behind them, watching how they added the ingredients, if the simmering liquid was the right colour and other things only known to him. By the time half the lesson rolled by, he already seemed to target Lily Evans and the boy who sat beside James.

It took the better part of the lesson for Remus to get over the sickening feeling he got at the name Wolfsbane, and try and talk with the frowning girl with whom he was working. He found that her silence was unnerving, and wanted to see why she seemed to dislike him so much. He refused to believe that she would condemn him just because she hated her cousin.

"So, Keira, is it? I see that-" he started only to be rudely cut off by her.

"Look, pretty boy, you're my stupid cousin's friend, and to be quite frank - I don't get along with people who are his friends. So why don't we finish this lesson in silence and forget we ever worked with each other? "

"I see that you're a little angry with him," he remarked quietly, suddenly feeling brave enough to confront someone on his own.

"No! D'you think!"

"No need to be sarcastic. I was only trying to be friendly, you know."

"Well, don't, then! I'm not interested in you being friendly! Just leave me alone!"

Not wishing to be shouted at, Remus complied with her request and continued working in silence, only occasionally asking if she thought this ingredient was chopped finely enough or if the textbook meant a flat teaspoon or a heaped one. Aside of that, the lesson went on in quiet. That is, it went on quietly until something exploded on the other side of the dungeon with a resounding boom, showering the occupants of the backmost table with searing liquid.

The noise was tremendous, echoed, reflected and magnified by the windowless stone walls surrounding them. Covering his currently _extremely _sensitive ears to protect them from the reverberations, Remus turned in alarm to see an extremely angry James covered in the sticky liquid, his wand pointed directly at the boy who had been supposedly working with him.

"You stupid, slimy snake!" his friend was shouting, easily heard by the entire class, earning himself hard glares from the other Slytherins. "You did that on purpose!"

It took all of Slughorn's force to pull James off the boy, but even that was not enough to stop Black from jumping on James with his fists clenched, uttering agitated cries of which Remus could only clearly hear "Take that _back_!"

Completely nonplussed at the Gryffindor's reaction, it took Slughorn a moment to recompose himself and disengage the two boys from one another. Even though he seemed rather reluctant to do so, the professor had to give each of the three warring boys a detention to be served on Tuesday, four days away, immediately after dinner. He ended his punishment by telling them to stay behind after class.

Once the bell rang, Remus hurriedly packed his things and stepped out of the classroom, planting himself just outside the door, where his keen hearing could pick up some of what was said to his friend and his two antagonists, and where he could not be spotted by the casual observer.

"…woeful ordeal," he managed discerning Slughorn's voice out of the jumble of chattering students leaving the dungeon. "I cannot believe the three of you. You, Severus, should have known better than to add that newt's eye into Mr. Potter's cauldron. You have the makings of a great potion master in you, so don't try and make me believe that it was an accident.

"As for you, Mr. Black and Mr. Potter, you are from the same house! Is this the kind of behaviour Gryffindor needs on the first week of school? I don't know what Mr. Potter had said to you, Mr. Black, but I am sure it did not require such a violent retribution. Do not let me catch you at that again, or the consequences _will_ be dire. Now, away with you."

The three boys murmured their agreement reluctantly and strode away from the teacher's desk, which was where, Remus presumed, Slughorn was sitting. As soon as they were halfway to the door, he could hear Black hiss "If you ever say that again, I will rip you in half and feed you to the nearest hippogriff I can find."

"I'd love to see you try," James hissed back. "If you even get _near_ me, I will make dragon-feed from you."

"Yeah?" Black said in a slightly raised voice. "We shall see about that, _Potter_."

That was when the two of them walked out of the room, the sullen Slytherin walking several feet behind them. As soon as the door closed behind Severus, or whatever his name was, Black whirled and grabbed the front of James' robe in what could be best described as a death grip. He had to pull the short boy up in order to glare into his eyes.

"I can kill you right now and Slughorn will never be able to reach you on time," the taller boy said in a seething voice, his wand suddenly pointing at James' throat.

"Do that and you have doomed yourself," James growled.

The air between the two crackled as though lightning had hit nearby. There was so much anger in both faces; so much suppressed dislike, if not hate, of generations past, all focusing on those two. Remus knew that something had to be done, or they would get in so much more trouble than before. He twitched and fiddled with the strap of his book bag, unable to make himself come between them. He was never one to break fights. He usually was the one cowering behind something safe and solid, hoping everyone would just ignore him and let him be.

But this was James, who was in trouble, and James, even though he had only met him a couple of days before, had already befriended him, no questions asked. Gulping, Remus stepped forward and pointed his own wand at Black, praying to Merlin that no teacher would come by, hoping that the Slytherin boy, long since gone, had not gone and tattled to the nearest teacher.

"Let James go," he said in a would-be calm voice. "Let him go, or I _will_ hex you. I know some really good ones already." All right, so that was a lie, but just as long as Black did not call his bluff, everything would be fine.

Apparently the tall, brooding boy did not, for slowly he removed his wand from James throat, and with the least amount of energy lest Remus would hex him all the same, released the short boy's robe, taking a step back.

"Good," Remus said. "Let's go, James. No point in staying here." Pointedly turning his back on Black, he walked away with James in tow. He knew that most likely James was making threatening gestures at the other boy behind his back, but chose not to look. He was much more concerned about what he had just done. He had never bullied anyone in his life, but this was very close to bullying. What he had done was so out of character for him, but then again, it was done in order to help a friend, so was it a good thing or a bad thing? He honestly did know.

"Thanks," James' voice startled him out of the inner turmoil of his right and wrong senses.

"Huh?" he replied, staring at his friend.

"Thanks for helping me there with Black. He would have kicked my arse in seconds." James looked wistful at the admission, as though ashamed of his physical failings.

Remus was genuinely touched. He could not remember a time when one of his peers had thanked him like that, unprompted by older people. Somehow, it helped to calm his scruples at threatening Black. He had helped a friend. He _had_ a friend, and James would never know just how much his almost careless waltzing into Remus' compartment and his friendliness had meant to him.

"No problem," he said with a smile.

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The little disagreement between James and Black escalated within the twelve hours or so that followed the Potions class incidence into a full-blown war. In the few hours that had passed between lunchtime and after-hours the two had managed to collide on seven separate occasions, each time either threatening one another or going straight into physical fighting. Neither touched their wands, however, which was very strange, as far as Remus was concerned.

Both boys were from old, traditional wizarding families, yet they seemed to resort to Muggle brutishness without a second's thought. They had to be separated every time by a teacher, and by the end of that day had accumulated three further detentions and lost close to fifty points to Gryffindor.

And it was just the second day.

That evening, in the dormitory, a tense silence prevailed. The two combatants stayed in their own sides of the room, glaring at each other, their personal menace spreading in the room and making the atmosphere suppressive and sour. Remus, after futilely attempting to draw James out of his brooding shell and the ongoing staring match against Black, simply took out his book and settled down on his bed to read. The fourth dormmate, Peter, after whimpering nervously at the two dark-haired boys, closed the draperies around his bed and isolated himself from the rest.

Some few hours later, Remus finally picked his eyes up from his book, his eyebrows rising as he noted that James and Black were still glaring at each other. It almost seemed like neither had moved since he and James had entered the dorm. Rolling his eyes, he quickly undressed, and saying "Night, James," he closed his own draperies after Peter's example and went to sleep.

They were still at the same positions the next morning when he got up, both fast asleep; their faces clear of hate and resentment.

Standing at the middle of the room, contemplating whether he should wake James up and ask him if he wanted to get to breakfast on time that morning, he found himself looking back and forth from his friend to Black. Even though Black was tall and James was short, Black's hair short and carefully trimmed and James' rough and messy, the two looked alarmingly alike when asleep.

Thinking over their behaviour the previous day, he also had to conclude that they were more alike in other ways than that. Personally, he thought they could be great friends - if only Black would come out of his shell and if James would let him in.

Shaking his head, Remus picked up his things and went to the bathroom. He would wake James later. After all, who knew how long the two antagonists had been sitting there?

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Four days after Remus had made his first friend since he was six years old, three days after school began and two days after their confrontation with Sirius Black, on the morning of the full moon, something happened to change it all.

James and Remus sat together by the breakfast table on that Sunday morning, arguing about the merits of Quidditch versus books when a large screech owl entered the Hall via one of the windows. It was late. The other owls had already delivered their messages minutes before. The owl let out an ear-splitting sound and then dove at a direct route to the Gryffindor table, landing with a resounding thud in front of Sirius Black who was merely staring at his food instead of eating it, just as he had since their first morning there. Clutched in the owl's talons was a red envelope. Every person in the hall coming from a wizarding home knew what a red envelope must mean. Remus could practically hear every baited breath.

Black, like a man in a dream, reached to take the envelope, ignored the vicious peck given to him by the evil-eyed owl and then, mechanically, opened the Howler.

The voice erupting from the envelope was like the screech of a banshee, high and enraged, spouting evil with every word.

" YOU FILTHY LITTLE CREATURE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR FATHER! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO _ME_! THE MOST ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK IS BOWING ITS HEAD IN SHAME! ALL YOUR GREAT ANCESTORS TURN IN THEIR GRAVES! A _GRYFFINDOR_! AND YOU DARE CALLING YOURSELF MY SON! SHAME BE ON YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT! WE HAVE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING YOU COULD HAVE WANTED! THIS IS NOT WHAT WE RAISED YOU FOR! SHAMELESS DISAPPOINTMENT - THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE! A TRAITOT TO YOUR OWN HOUSE, YOUR OWN LINE! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN DO THIS AND NOT PAY THE CONSEQUENCES! YOU SHALL PAY AND THEN DOUBLY PAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! COWARD! TRAITOR! SHAME OF MY FLESH! DON'T YOU DARE SHOW YOUR FACE ON MY DOORSTEP ON CHRISTMAS - GO AND SPEND IT WITH YOUR MUDBLOOD LOVING FRIENDS!" And with that the Howler burst into a flame, showering Black with its ashes.

Around him, people started whispering and laughing. Some pointed at Black. Others loudly expressed their opinions about the whole matter, making fun of the lonely boy. Remus knew it was wrong, and that someone should do something, but he was never one to open his mouth and cry outrage at some wrong. Werewolves had no rights. Until the morning of September first he had not willingly started talking with anyone. He could not speak up for _himself_, for Merlin sake. He could not be the one to do it.

Someone else, however, seemed to think along the same lines as himself, and unlike himself, that someone was not afraid to call out.

James Potter, his wiry body stiff with anger, got up and glared openly at all the people around the Gryffindor table making fun of Black. In the few days Remus had known him, James had appeared to be a carefree, cheerful boy, who preferred making jokes in class rather than actually studying. This was a new side of him that Remus was surprised to see.

"Is this a way to talk of one of our own?" the other boy said in a voice that carried all around the table and even to the tables of the other houses. In that moment the short boy seemed to tower over everyone around him. "Who needs enemies when you have such _loyal_ housemates? Have you no moral sense? Making fun of a person when he needs your support! Pah! Some Gryffindors you are! You should be standing by his side against all those sneering Slytherins that were behaving like shit to him ever since he became one of us! We are Gryffindors! If we belittle one of our own - what does that make us? Huh? Think about it next time you feel the urge to make fun of someone just because he's from the wrong family." Then he shook himself and to Remus he said "I lost my appetite, Remus. I'll see you in the common room, all right?"

Not waiting for an answer, he walked out of the Hall. Behind him, Remus could see, Sirius Black watched his retreating figure, a strange expression on his face. And in all the confusion and hushed conversations that broke out as soon as James disappeared, there was another person in the Hall who seemed strangely touched by what the Gryffindor had done. The seventh year girl Remus had seen on the night of the sorting, which he now vaguely recognized as a constant companion of James' older cousin and Head Girl, Kelly. Her eyes, which were rather cold every time she looked in the direction of the Gryffindor table, warmed up considerably. She turned to mutter something to Kelly, who offered her a small smile and a low mutter.

When he met James in the common room shortly after, Remus could see that he was upset, but he was definitely interested in knowing what was going on. "What was that all about?" he asked quietly, sitting on the sofa by his friend.

"A nasty business," James grimaced, picking his head from his arms. "Bad family, that one is. He is about the third decent person the family produced in centuries, from what I hear. He must be even halfway decent to be a Gryffindor, doesn't he? I suppose this generation is slightly better.

"Back at Potions the other day? I was arguing with that idiot Snape over some stupid thing and ended up saying that all those people who belonged to families supporting the blood-purity nonsense belonged in Azkaban. I hit a soft spot there, and I really shouldn't have said it next to him. It's not his fault that he was born to that family.

"Blood purists - that's what they are. They're completely obsessed with everything to do with keeping wizard blood pure. Rumours say that they would do anything to stop the 'contamination of the race'. The sort of things that bloke who calls himself Voldemort likes. His mum isn't the nicest woman on earth, from what my mum says - and you normally wouldn't hear a bad word on anyone from my mum - and by that Howler he just got, she isn't that happy that he got sorted into Gryffindor. Almost the whole family's Slytherin, you know. He has a cousin a few years older than us - I think she's a fourth year - Narcissa. Nastiest girl I ever laid eyes on, and I saw her a couple of times on Ministry occasions. But, his older cousin, Andromeda, is Kelly's best friend, and she's in Ravenclaw. Apparently Ravenclaw is a secondary option for the Blacks. Not the best, but certainly acceptable and respectable - but Gryffindor…" He shook his head regretfully. "While I'm not too fond of people who make it their habit to glare at me and my friends whenever they see me, I think that Sirius has every reason to be aloof as he is, and that it was not fair of us to condemn him like that. We should stick to our House members, no matter who they are."

Mulling over James' words, Remus perceived that Sirius' life was maybe just as bad as his own, and that his friend was right. Though it was true that James did not really know Remus' secret, he still accepted him without question, and immediately called him friend. There was no reason not to extend that selfsame courtesy to Sirius Black as well, and there was no one better to do so than the ever-cheerful and charming James Potter.

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Sometimes later that day, James had left Remus to himself, saying something about needing to owl his parents and then going to serve the detention he got from Filch for fighting with Black in Charms corridor. Remus had taken advantage of that to complete the Charms homework set for them by Professor Flitwick on their first Charms lesson of the year. They were given until Monday to hand it over, and Remus had diligently worked on it the night before and had not quite finished it to his liking, not to speak of the fact that he had every intention of handing it to Flitwick that day, due to the full moon. He had not seen James even opening his book since the essay was given.

Remus sat in the library for about half an hour, enjoying the silence of the place as he put the finishing touches on his essay. Once he was done, however, he picked his things and left for the common room, wondering if he would find James there. He was about halfway there when a voice ahead of him made him stop.

"-don't know what you're taking about," Sirius Black's voice could clearly be heard, sounding sullen.

"Don't give me that, Sirius," an older female voice snapped, obviously not about to take any lip from the first year. "He did a very noble thing this morning, and you should take advantage of it and try making a friend."

"But Andyyyyy…" Remus was mildly surprised at hearing his fellow Gryffindor whining. In the few days he had known him, he had not heard Sirius use anything but a cold, detached, and sometimes sullen, voice.

"Don't 'but' me, Sirius," 'Andy' said in a tone that flashed _older sibling_ in Remus' mind. "If he is anything like his cousin, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Auntie might decide that sending you another Howler is a good idea if she ever hears of it-"

"And Cissy will make sure she does," Sirius muttered, his words only barely heard by the eavesdropping werewolf.

"-and no doubt she will," 'Andy' agreed, "but I don't think you will mind much anymore, unless I am very much mistaken…?"

There was nothing but silence from Sirius' side of the conversation. Apparently 'Andy' was not mistaken about that point. Why, though, Remus did not know. Sirius appeared to hate the very thought that he was in Gryffindor, but the girl seemed to think that in truth he really did not mind much. Remus was very confused.

In the meanwhile, the older girl continued. "Either way, Sirius, I really do believe that you should at least _try_ and get to know James Potter. It's the least you can do, the way he defended you this morning, even after how you treated him - and yes, I _have_ heard of your little tantrum the other day - _and_ the fights that followed - don't think I haven't. I know the prejudice Auntie had stuffed into your brains since you were little, but as you are going to be with those people for the next seven years, don't alienate yourself from them, you might be surprised."

There was more silence and the girl sighed. "Very well, Sirius. Keep everything I said in mind, and do come and talk to me if you're troubled. I'm always here for you; you _do_ know that, don't you? Have fun in detention tonight." And with that her footsteps started echoing away, only to be stopped by Sirius' low voice.

"Andromeda?" he whispered.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I don't want to be alone. I want to have friends."

"Then go get them, Sirius." Remus could hear the smile in her voice, and then two sets of footsteps walked away, leaving him torn between wonder at what he had heard, and guilt at eavesdropping on something this personal.

**So! Will Sirius 'go get them' as Andromeda had suggested? Or will he continue being the bastard that he seems to be? What about the full moon and James' detentions? All this and more - next Sunday! ;)**

**Hope to see you there!**

**-Star of the North**


	3. By the Light of the Moon

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Today is a particularly long chapter. I hadn't meant it to be this long - but it happened that way, so if it bothers anyone - I'm sorry.

To all those who may wonder as to why the first year progresses so slowly even though I had said that I will skim through the first few years, I am putting the foundations in these few first chapters, and that's why the first year may take a little longer than I had said. I'm still editing the original version, and so I'm not yet sure how many chapters it's going to take.

Either way, thanks for all those of you who had reviewed (especially if I had neglected replying to your review personally for some reason), and thanks for everyone who had read. I hope you will like this chapter as well!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Three - By the Light of the Moon**

Remus returned to the common room soon after. It was growing dangerously close to moonrise, and no one had told him where he was going to spend it as yet. It made him rather jumpy and very uncomfortable. He was just about ready to go and find Dumbledore's office and make independent inquiries when the portrait hole opened, allowing Professor McGonagall to enter the room, an especially grim look on her face, her strides brisk, a singular destination in her mind.

"Mr. Lupin?" she said, pausing next to the agitated boy, her eyes trained on him. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but you are to be sent home for the next three days. Your mother is ill. Go get your things and I'll escort you to your ride."

For a moment Remus actually panicked. Was his mother ill? Then, however, he remembered what his mother had told him before they had even left for Kings Cross.

_Dumbledore has taken care of it all._

Full moon. His first full moon at Hogwarts.

McGonagall was speaking loudly in order to make sure no one suspected why he was going. With a quick, understanding nod he got up and hurried up to his dorm, his heart racing. Up in the room he picked up a small backpack and started pushing things at random into it, knowing that he was not going to use any of it anyway and that it would only be put somewhere safe where he would not be able to tear it apart. In his absent-minded state, he barely registered the presence of another boy staring at him uncertainly from his bed. He only noticed him when his bag was ready and he looked up to see Black's eyes on him.

"Are you going somewhere?" the black-haired boy asked abruptly.

Not liking the rude tone, Remus nodded shortly, not speaking. Then, however, he turned back to Black and said "My mother is sick. I'm going home for a couple of days. Will you tell James that when he arrives from deten- aren't you supposed to be in detention as well?"

Black shrugged. Then he said "Sorry about your mother."

There was a strange note in the boy's voice. Giving him a bemused glance, Remus shook his head and said "Well, just tell James where I've gone. Thanks."

Thinking that this may be Black's way of being less hostile and also thinking he was making a very bad job of it, Remus returned down to the common room, hoping Black will do as asked. He sincerely hoped that James would accept this makeshift excuse McGonagall had provided him and with a sudden flare of panic, wondered how he would excuse himself in the following months. Would James find out and cut him off? That seemed very likely. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he hurried in McGonagall's direction.

McGonagall tapped her foot impatiently when he entered the common room. "Come on, then, boy. Don't be tardy!" She started pushing him toward the exit just as soon as he stopped in front of her. "Get a move on, Mr. Lupin!"

Once she deemed them far enough from the entrance to Gryffindor Tower and without anyone overhearing, McGonagall started speaking very quickly and in a quiet voice. "Now listen, boy. This is the only time I'll come and get you. From now on this is _your_ responsibility. Every full moon you are to come an hour prior to moonrise to the Entrance Hall where you will be met by Madam Pomfrey - the school mediwitch. She will lead you to the place in which you will spend the night. She will also come and get you in the morning."

She glanced at him and he could see that look he hated so much in her eyes. It was pity. He hated it when people pitied him. Yes, he was a werewolf. Yes, he had been bitten at a young age, more to be sad about - but that insufferable _pity_! He was still human, for Merlin's sake! Not some poor creature to feel sorry for him. Goodness knows he felt sorry enough for himself without anyone else doing that as well.

"Is there anything else we can do to make this more comfortable for you?" she asked gently.

"No, Professor," he said laconically, trying to ignore the churning feeling in his stomach. "There's nothing."

Madam Pomfrey was indeed waiting for them down in the Entrance Hall. She was a rather young woman, still in her early thirties, possibly just out of her advanced training at St. Mungo's, but had the selfsame stern look McGonagall had. She, too, gave him a pitying glance. He resisted the urge to scowl, knowing it would be attributed to the nearness of the moon anyway.

"So this is the young man, is it?" she needlessly asked, keeping her eyes on McGonagall.

The teacher nodded curtly. "He's under your charge from now on, Poppy. Good luck."

"Thank you, Minerva - I daresay I shall see you tonight at the Three Broomsticks?"

"Naturally. You'd better get going, though."

"Come, child," Madam Pomfrey said gently. "We haven't much time as this is your first time."

Remus expected to be led down to the dungeons for some reason. It stood to reason. That was what people usually did - locked the monster in the dungeons with stone all around, under lock and key. Several of them - and a few chains added for good measure. To his amounting surprise, however, she led him outside to the grounds.

They headed down to the lake and then turned to where a big, ominous tree stood, waving its branches menacingly as soon as they neared it. He remembered something Dumbledore had said at the very end of his speech at the start-of-term feast. He had not really registered it at the time since he was still in owe at actually being at Hogwarts, but now it jumped into his mind. Something about a hitting tree that must not be approached by all costs. He had the feeling that this was that tree.

It seemed that Madam Pomfrey noticed his gaze. "Oh, yes. A very rare plant the Whomping Willow is. Professor Sprout is very happy with this acquirement - even though it was purchased for a rather glum cause."

She picked up a long stick from the ground not far from the tree and, after hefting it a few times, prodded some kind of a knot at its base. The swaying branches froze.

"Come, dear," she said as though nothing had happened. "Not much time now."

And so she led him down a hole at the base of the tree. Darkness engulfed them, but soon she lifted her wand and he heard her softly muttering something. Light flooded his eyes and after blinking furiously, he could finally see again. Beneath the tree was a long dark tunnel, very low and with bits of roots crawling all over its walls and ceiling. By the look of it, it had been recently dug out.

The tunnel went on and on and on. He had no idea how long it took them to reach the trapdoor that opened into a large room, losing all sense of time in the monotonous environment. Not moonrise, yet, he surmised. Madam Pomfrey was not looking worried.

He surveyed his surroundings - the place he would now spend most of his full moons in for the next seven years. It was a wooden house. The doors and windows were boarded shut, and probably charmed several times to make the boarding up unbreakable, but there was nice furniture there, and a fireplace. Why would a transformed werewolf need a fireplace was beyond him, but the gesture was nice. A narrow staircase led up to a second story where there was a bedroom in which was a big, comfy bed.

"Now," Madam Pomfrey said, "Just lie down and rest. I will come in the morning to get you. Goodnight, Mr. Lupin."

And she left. Left him alone. An eleven year old boy left to ponder what kind of future he had while time ticked away.

He did not have to wait long, though. The full moon rose slowly - and even though he could not see it, he knew it was coming. He could feel it as the minutes crawled by, torturously slow. Violent convulsions went through his fragile body, wracking lines of pain through his nerves. Long shivers ran along his spine, causing his back to arch. Horrible pains in his limbs as they lengthened and thickened. And the hair. The hair that started sprouting all over. The pain was horrible. It was worse than usual. He lost all sense of time, deaf to his own tortured screams that erupted from his changing throat, unchecked.

Last time he had his parents. Even though they were not in the same room as him he knew they were there and it helped him during the transformation. But now… now he was so far away from home. His parents would not be there for the next nine or so transformations. No one will be there to comfort him beyond a six inch thick door; no one will try to get through to him through the wolf.

With these last coherent, miserable thoughts, Remus Lupin completed his transformation and knew no more.

The werewolf stood erect on the bed and howled for the moon.

Up in the castle, on the highest floor of the Gryffindor Tower, a messy-haired boy stood at his dorm window, and shuddered at the sound of the howl.

The full moon shone.

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Arriving back at school was hard for Remus. He had spent two whole days in the Hospital Wing, behind Madam Pomfrey's privacy curtains, but he was very nervous as to what James would say of his absence. He once again wondered if Black had told him anything. He entered an almost empty common room and found the dormitory deserted. At first finding it alarming, he then remembered something about a detention. His memory finally jogged, he recalled that this was the first detention ever given to his friend - the one he got for the Potion Class incidence.

And so he waited impatiently for James to return from his detention with Snape and Black at Slughorn's dungeons. For one thing, he wanted to see if Black had indeed changed his behaviour after his conversation with Andromeda (his cousin, by what James had said, and Kelly's friend). For another, he wondered how bad Slughorn's detentions were, as James was mapping the teachers according to the severity of their detentions.

He was sitting in the common room, absent-mindedly building a card-house from a pack of Exploding Snap. A dangerous pastime, especially when distracted, but he did not really take that into account as he sat with his eyes fixated on the portrait hole.

"That pack's going to explode," a timid voice warned him just in time, making him pull back as fast as he could before the cards would blow up and leave him without eyebrows. Unfortunately, in his haste to back away, he fell to the ground with a painful smack to his rear end. Down from his place on the floor, he looked up to see a sheepish-looking Peter Pettigrew standing over him, nursing a singed hand. Apparently he had not pulled back fast enough.

"Thanks," Remus grunted as he got up. "Ouch. That hurt."

"Not as much as it would have hurt were it to explode in your face," Peter said with a grin.

"That's true," Remus concurred. "Done your essay for Transfiguration?"

"Just finished it," the other boy said with a pained expression on his round face. "I don't think it's worth much, though. I think I may have copied the diagram wrong the other day. Must've gotten a line crooked or something. Where were you?"

Remus just shrugged, explaining his mother was ill. Then the two stood in awkward silence, neither knowing what to say. Both were spared the embarrassment, however, by the timely opening of the portrait hole, and by James' voice drifting into the common room even before the boy himself had entered.

"…said I was sorry," his voice was accusing, though Remus was sure he could detect a note of humour in it. "But I had to get back at that Slytherin arse! I couldn't let him get away with it!"

"Your aim sucks," Black's surly voice was heard, and the two boys entered via the round hole. Black's robes were covered by something that by its smell could best be described as pickled bits of animals, and James had some gooey substance on his face and hands. Furthermore, both boys now had grey hair instead of black due to excess amounts of some white powder. There was more powder on their shoes and shoulders.

"My aim does _not_ suck," James said petulantly. "I'll have you know that I'm a great Chaser. It was just that you stepped in the way just as hurled it at him. You didn't have to spray me with that cauldron grease or whatever it was."

"Anti-blemish potion," Black corrected smugly. "At least that stinking Snape brat got hit with it as well."

"Yeah," a small smile appeared on James' lips and a faraway expression took over his face as though remembering a very pleasant memory. "That was a nice touch. He deserved that, the slimy git. Got in his eyes, too. But you have to admit that the squeal he gave off when the frog guts hit was better."

"Was not!"

"Was, too!"

"Was not!"

"Was, too!"

This would probably have gone on forever were it not for James spotting Remus and cutting himself off, sidestepping for the young werewolf.

"Remus! How are you? When did you arrive? How did you arrive? How's your mum? Is she all right? I mean of course she's all right, otherwise you wouldn't have been here, but anyway…" James asked in a quick succession of words.

"I'm fine; arrived about an hour ago; by the Knight Bus; She's feeling much better, thank you," Remus answered, glad that Black had apparently told James where he was, and hoping that his lies would go undetected.

"About an hour ago, huh? Had fun by yourself?"

"Almost burned myself with a pack of Exploding Snap," he volunteered sheepishly.

"Good on you," James grinned. "I disemboweled pickled frogs."

"And had a food fight by the looks of it."

James grinned even wider. He then looked at Black who was once again surely, standing to the side uncertainly, and said "You know, Black? You're not such a tough bastard after all. I'd wager that inside you're a real softy - the sort that melts at the sight of homeless puppies." And ignoring Black's deep scowl and evil glare, he laughed and walked for the dorm and the shower he so sorely needed.

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As per usual, Remus was already up early the next day. The sun had just risen minutes before, and as he lay in his bed, his eyes open to a crack and staring at the golden morning light through the gap in his bed draperies, he thought that there is no better time in the day than sunrise - especially when the moon was far from full. A small smile sleepily graced his lips and he thought he would enjoy the few hours he still had until James would graciously get up in simply bringing up the fun memories of the few days he had spent in Hogwarts before the full moon. It was so wonderful to have a friend.

In his own world as he was, Remus was very much surprised to hear James voice saying "Running away again, Black? That shows bad manners, you know."

Startled, Remus cautiously moved in his bed, careful not to make any noise, and peeked out of the gap in the draperies, hoping neither boy would notice him. From what little view he had, he could see Black, already fully dressed in the somber, black school robes, standing by the door to the dormitory, his hand placed on the handle. If he moved his head slightly to the other side, he could see James, wide-awake and sitting on the edge of his bed in his pajamas with his legs folded. His friend was giving Black a Look.

Returning his gaze to Black, Remus could see him fidgeting under those eyes, but that his hand had left the door handle. Remembering the conversation he had overheard, he guessed that Black was fighting his primary urge to stay alone and aloof from those Gryffindors with whom he was stuck through no fault of his (or at least, that is how he saw it), and his conscious decision that he did _not_ want to spend the next seven years estranged from his dormmates and friendless.

Finally, after what seemed to take much deliberation, he said "What's that to you, Potter?"

"Hey, we're in the same boat here," James said, defensively holding his hands up, palms out. "Like it or not, Black, we're in the same House, and nothing you can do can change that. I'd rather not spend seven years in the company of someone who detests me, and you can't stop detesting me until I say sorry, apparently."

From his hidden post behind the draperies, Remus frowned. It was as though the cheery, thoughtless James Potter he had met on the train at the beginning of that week was once again gone as he had been three days before. This was a serious, considerate young boy that he would never have thought existed in his new friend. But there he was, eavesdropping on a conversation that proved otherwise.

"What - what do you mean?" Black asked in surprise, completely nonplussed as Remus was at the change in James.

"I mean I should apologize for what I had said at Potions the other day. I won't pretend that I am fond of your family-"

"Hey, you and me both," Black said bitterly, surprising both James and Remus. James, however, continued, though with much less certainty than before.

"Anyway, as I said, I'm not, but that doesn't mean that I am about to draw judgment on _you_. After all, you _are_ a Gryffindor, which means that you are somehow different from the others. The Sorting Hat saw something in you, and that means you're not like them and that you deserve to start around here with a new, clean parchment, and not be sentenced to the wrong just because you happen to share the same surname as some vile people. So, how about we start anew? My name is James. You?"

Remus noticed that his friend had deliberately dropped his own surname as he introduced himself and from what he could see, Black appreciated it just as much as he did.

"I'm Sirius," he said shortly. Then he opened the door and left, though Remus could practically _hear_ the smile in his voice.

James watched the door closing behind the tall boy and then, without glancing his way, said "You can come out now, Remus."

Flabbergasted, Remus threw his draperies open and stared accusingly at James. "How long did you know I was there?" he asked.

"Right about the time you stuck your face to the gap in your draperies," James said with a grin. "I saw you."

Remus shook his head in disbelief. He was so certain he had made no noise, no movement to attract attention to himself. James seemed to read his mind, for he laughed and said "You're an early bird, Remus. I know you get up at sunrise or even before every morning. I simply expected you to hear that, which was how I was prepared for your appearance - as unnoticeable as you thought it was."

Grumbling, muttering darkly on manipulative friends, Remus pulled himself out of bed and started getting ready for the new day. He was feeling much better now that the full moon was newly passed, and after two days of bed rest. As much as he resented being restricted to bed, he had to admit that the mediwitch knew what she was doing. He felt better than ever before after a full moon.

When the two friends, with Peter trailing behind since they thought it would not be nice to leave him asleep and make him miss class, finally arrived at the common room, Remus was genuinely surprised to see Black sitting there, impatiently tapping his foot on the ground. Upon seeing them, he picked himself up and waited for them to approach with his arms folded, the regular scowl on his face.

"Took you long enough," he said in a begrudging voice.

"Oh, sor-_ry_, your majesty," James said sarcastically. Remus noted the gleam in his eyes, though, and stifled a smile. "Your most groveling servants beg your pardon and ask that you do not take your fine presence away as punishment, for we shall be desolate without you! Please, please, please, do not punish your most devoted slaves harshly, for then we shall be bedridden and unable to grovel at your fine feet again!"

"Shut up," Black said, but Remus could have sworn that he had seen a sliver of a smile before the tall boy turned away from them.

"Ah! The monarch has spoken!" James crowed, bouncing after Black and falling into step with him. "Sound the trumpets, Master Lupin! Spread out the red carpet! Bring the town crier into the heart of things!"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" Black snarled.

"Ah! A blessing! A blessing from milord! Your most humble serva-"

James did not finish that sentence, for Black, finally out of patience, lunged at him and tackled him to the ground, initiating yet another fight. To the first worried Remus, however, it soon became apparent that this fight was not like the bitterly violent ones he had witnessed the previous week. While not precisely a friendly scuffle, this was not a full-fledged fight, and if he had any doubts about it, James' laughter soon dissipated them.

Looking over the two in interest, he saw that James was pinned with his back to the floor by the bigger boy, and was laughing uncontrollably, making it hard for Black to keep his hold on him. Finally, Remus could see that the sliver of a smile he had seen on Black's face earlier had now become a little more distinct, and that he was actively fighting a grin. At that point the taller boy released James and picked himself up.

The smile was gone as though it had never been there, and Black was once again scowling while dusting his robes. James, still on the floor, leaned on one elbow and grinned widely at Remus, who simply shook his head and helped his friend up.

Together, the two friends left the common room, and Remus was somewhat not surprised when he heard two additional sets of footsteps echoing behind them. Looking down at James, he caught the knowing smirk on his friend's face. James was a very devious boy. He knew what he was doing.

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It soon became apparent to everyone with eyes that Sirius Black was looking for the company of James and Remus. Though his face always sported a scowl, a glower or any other unpleasant expression, he consistently tailed after the two, keeping a step or so behind and to the side in order to make everyone see that he was _not_, in fact, _with_ them. It particularly amused James, but Remus himself found it hard to keep the corners of his mouth from rising.

At meals, the sour-looking boy made sure there was at least one person between him and the two other boys, but both noticed that his ears listened to everything they had to say. One morning, when James was ranting over the fact that first years were not allowed to join the House Quidditch Team, Remus could swear he had seen Black bounce a little in his seat, as though fighting the need to say something in support of James.

In classes, Black no longer sat completely apart from everyone else, but sought to find a seating place close to the desk shared by Remus and James, often pairing with Peter, who also tried to make himself as close to the two friends as possible.

After about two weeks of this, James had had enough. He set in a murderous pace out of the Great Hall after breakfast on Sunday, almost making Remus run to keep up with him, which was saying something, considering that James was that much shorter than him. Before the young werewolf could so much as pant out a question as to where they were going, James slid into an abrupt halt, pushing his friend around a corner and into the shadow of a suit of armour, and then standing, putting his finger to his mouth in a gesture of silence.

Seconds later came the inevitable, hurried footsteps of Black. Laughter straining against his wish to comply James' order, Remus watched as the boy came into view and stopped when he could see no one in the corridor ahead, looking this way and that, frantically looking for someone - most likely the two hiding next to the suit of armour.

As Black's shoulders dropped in defeat, James stepped out of the shadows and with his arms folded, asked loudly "Looking for someone, Sirius?"

The other boy almost jumped out of his skin in alarm, staring at the broadly grinning James with through wide eyes. "I-I-I-"

It was almost surprising to hear such a person as this stutter. James, however, remained unfazed. He cocked his head to one side and with a raised eyebrow asked "Fancy joining us for the afternoon?"

"What do you suggest we do?" Black asked, recomposing himself, but a note of hope in his voice escaped his normally tight control.

James' eyes traveled around him, finally settling on the suit of armour under which shadow Remus was still standing. The hazel orbs lit up with mischief. Sharply turning to face Black again, the short boy asked "How about we make my cousin regret she ever challenged me?"

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Early afternoon that Sunday greeted Hogwarts with a bang. It was time for lunch when a resounding explosion startled all in the Great Hall, making them look up from their plates, wildly looking around them for the source of the sound. The entire castle shivered, or so it seemed. It did not take long for a disheveled McGonagall, followed by an equally shaken Head Girl and Boy, to enter the Hall, intent on calming a few panicked students and curtly explaining what had happened anyone who asked what the sound was, assuring everyone that no one had been hurt.

It seemed as though someone - Peeves most likely, as the Head Boy gloweringly said - had used a simple enough charm originally meant for pealing potatoes and the like to make a row of suits of armour on the fourth floor corridor explode. It was still a mystery as to how it had been modified and timed, but the professor promised that answers would soon be supplied.

Over at the Gryffindor table, two boys did their best to avoid falling to the floor laughing, a third appearing a little ashamed of himself.

"Someone could have been hurt," Remus said halfheartedly in a low voice. He had tried to dissuade the two from going through with James' rash idea, but they had waved it aside, sporting twinned expressions of mischief. He had been once again alarmed at how alike the two were. In the end he had relented, opting to stand watch while the two deliberately messed up the charm they had chosen to use rather than actually participate.

"Ah, but they didn't, did they?" James said gleefully.

"Anyway, we _did_ time it for the time when everyone was down here, didn't we?" Sirius said quietly. He looked so much different without the permanent scowl on his face.

This, more than anything, he had to admit, made him swallow the imminent "but what if they hadn't?" he was about to utter. He did not want to drive the boy away, now that he finally seemed to open up a little, letting the two - James in particular - in.

By the time dinner rolled by, everyone and anyone in the castle was pondering over the identity of the mysterious mischief makers who had exploded the armour. It soon became apparent that the work had been far too complex and well-timed for it to be Peeves' work, and so whispers and theories began. None, however, pointed an accusing finger at the three Gryffindor first years. Remus, quite frankly, was surprised.

It was only sometime over the next week that someone had even approached them concerning the incidence, and even then it was without knowing that they were the ones responsible.

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"Oh, couuuuuuuuuuuusin…" a singsong voice caught Remus' attention as the three boys, with Peter in tow as per usual, made their way for the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.

Stopping as though rooted to the spot, James' shoulders dropped and he sighed loudly. "What do you want, Keira?" he asked, his impatience clear to anyone with a functioning pair of ears.

"Are you up for a challenge, cousin dear?" the brown-haired girl asked with a smirk.

All the boys turned to face her, finding themselves looking at the entire group of Gryffindor girls, all of them grinning like jackals. James, his eyes narrowed, surveyed his cousin. "You know I always am."

"Well, then!" Keira said, rubbing her hands together delightedly. "I propose a contest between us girls and you… _boys_." When the condescending tone she used in order to elicit a rise out of James failed, she dropped her grin. "Are you up to is or not?"

"What do you propose?" James asked evenly.

"Quite simple, cousin dear. Quite simple. I happened to overhear Kelly saying that she would personally contend with the professors over giving a hundred points to anyone who would get her the name of the person responsible to the exploding armour incidence last week. I suggest we will all attempt rising to the occasion and find the culprit. The side that wins - namely tells Kelly who did it - and can prove it, of course - and gets the points, can give the other side one mission which they have to complete no matter what. What say you?"

"I say that it's Kelly's way of making people snitch on others and that I won't stand for it," he answered coldly, though Remus could see the flicker of worry in his eyes.

"I think that James here is perhaps having second thoughts, Lily," Keira said snidely to her friend, smirking at her cousin. "Maybe he's afraid that we'll win and that his precious ego will be bruised. So what about it, cousin? Not up for a challenge after all?"

"Go eat dung, Keira," James said angrily, his worry that the whole school would be after them for those promised points influencing his calm. "I'll never demean myself like that - tattling on someone to authority. Go play with your friends and stop bothering me." And, leading the others after him, he left the girls giggling behind.

"Gah!" he let out an exasperated sound as soon as they were far enough from the group, slamming his fist against the wall and then cursing softly as he examined his bruised knuckles. "Why did she _have_ to be in Gryffindor?" he demanded from the other two, his face a thunderstorm.

"You're asking us?" Sirius said in mock-surprise. "Maybe it runs in your family, being all brave and noble and lacking any measure of good sense."

"_Don't_ start, Sirius. Your family isn't better."

"You don't have to tell _me_ that," Sirius said with a scowl. "I lived with them my entire life, haven't I?"

"And anyway," James continued, ignoring Sirius' foul mood, "Kelly is in Ravenclaw, and she's closer family to Keira than I am - she's her sister, for Merlin's sake! Why couldn't stupid Keira go in _her_ footsteps?"

Remus thought Keira was far from stupid, but he was not going to tell James that. Especially not now that James was so agitated. He could not blame him. Had they accepted the challenge, they would have had to tell Kelly that they were the ones to do it, and that would have gotten them in great trouble. This way got James' ego severely bruised, but at least made it virtually impossible for anyone to point them as the culprits.

He was determined to never be involved in another such escapade ever again.

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He could not believe that he was actually doing it. Sitting in an abandoned classroom participating in the planning of yet another mayhem-causing deed was not what he meant to do on his free afternoon. But it was so hard to say 'no' to James - especially when his insecurities hit him again at his friend's pout, warning him that he may lose the boy's friendship at any given time were he not to cooperate, and he was not ready to do that just yet. He doubted he ever would be.

They were in the middle of an argument over who should they direct their scheme at, all agreeing (Remus quite unenthusiastically) that it would have to be done to someone of authority, for otherwise it would not be amusing, but simply lame, when they heard the whimper of someone being in a tight corner.

Sirius was the one who opened the door to a crack and stuck his head through, checking what was going on. When he turned again to face them, the all-too-familiar scowl was once again on his face, his eyes narrowed. "They're picking on Peter," he said in a cold voice.

"Who is?" James jumped off the table he was lying on, his voice dangerous.

"Snape and a couple of other Slytherins," the tall boy said, angry. Remus still remembered Snape shouting "Making friends with blood-traitors, Black? Next we'll hear you're wallowing in the mud with stinking mudbloods!" at Sirius the day after the exploding armour incidence, making his newest friend lunge at the other boy, landing the two of them in detention again. Sirius was still sore about it and waited for vengeance over the Slytherin.

"Let's go," James said. Being called a 'blood-traitor' by the Slytherin had made its mark, not to mention the initial fight he and Snape had had at that very first Potions lesson, igniting the process that ended up with Sirius becoming James and Remus' friend. "We're not leaving him to be squashed by those idiots. Coming, Remus?"

He only hesitated for a moment. He was a Gryffindor, and as James constantly reminded him just by becoming Sirius' friend, Gryffindors protected their Housemates. He would prove himself to be an integral part of the House of Lions, no matter what. Getting up from his chair he nodded curtly and the three exited the classroom.

Down the corridor from them the three Slytherins had poor little Peter cornered, his back to the wall, his face terrified, whimpers escaping his lips. The boy standing with his wand pointed at the Gryffindor seemed to be in charge. He appeared to be a little older than everyone else in the corridor. Remus guessed he was a third year, but could not prove it.

"That's the Avery boy," James whispered to his two friends. "I know him from Ministry occasions. He's a downright pig - a very talented bootlicker as well, from what I hear. Not very talented in any other field, however, and he knows it, so it might work to our advantage. Let's go."

"-think that you're Gryffindor material, Pettigrew? You don't even deserve to be in _Hufflepuff_," Avery was sneering at the small boy, his wand dandling dangerously close to Peter's throat.

"Think you're human material, Avery?" James called suddenly, making the three Slytherins jump away from their victim. "You don't even deserve to be included in the mammal department, you filthy snake."

"I don't see how it's any of your business, _Potter_," Snape growled. "This is a private matter and it has nothing to do with you or with any other _blood-traitors_."

At this both Remus and James had to take hold of Sirius' arms before the tall boy launched himself into yet another scuffle with the smirking Snape.

"So eager to go back to Filch's office, Black?" the Slytherin continued. "I can take care of that for you in seconds."

"Let it go, Sirius," James growled for Sirius' ears only. "Let's just get Peter and get out of here." Then, loudly once more, he said "Let Peter go, and we will forget you tried to threaten fellow students, Snape. Keep him there, and we have two options. Either we fight, and I can guarantee that with the current balance of forces we _will_ win, or we go get a teacher and sort this out in the nasty sort of way. It's your choice, Snape. What will you have? Get away bruise-free, the Hospital Wing, or possible expulsion?"

The three boys, Avery, Snape, and the second first year whose name none of them knew, seemed to be in deep thought for a moment, considering the three Gryffindor who were standing at the ready. Then, with a muttered word from Avery, they withdrew, slunk down the corridor, around a corner, and disappeared.

"You all right, mate?" James asked the wide-eyed Peter.

"Y-yeah," the boy stuttered, staring at them in wonder.

"You had better stick around with us," the messy-haired boy said, a grin sprouting on his lips. "We'll protect you."

And thus, without much fuss, the three became four, and a legend, almost unnoticeably, was born.

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"You think that he is likely to be there tonight?" Sirius asked with a frown, his eyes surveying the staff table where only three teachers were currently sitting.

"Yeah," James replied, looking distracted, his mind obviously somewhere else. "Usually he comes for dinner in the hall at least twice a week, so it shouldn't be much of a problem. If not, then we'll do it tomorrow, or at the next possible opportunity. It's not like we need any special preparations for this."

And they really did not. After much discussion, and with the added voice of Peter Pettigrew to the mix, the boys managed to finalize their first public prank. It was not harmful, all in all, especially so since Remus managed to extract some sort of control over the wild ideas Sirius came up with. The black-haired boy wanted something more along the lines of the exploding armour, but Remus insisted on something less destructive - at least that time, anyway. He kept expecting being told off, and was heartily surprised when James supported him on the matter.

At the moment, the four boys were sitting together by the Gryffindor table, practicing their innocent expressions. With all the excitement they felt, none of them had much of an appetite, all just picking at their food. They were waiting for their victim to arrive.

"There he is!" Peter, who was keeping a lookout, piped out, practically bouncing in his seat.

"Sit still!" James growled, and the other boy quelled under his fierce stare.

All four's eyes followed the progression of the Headmaster as the door behind the staff table opened, allowing him to go through and climb up to the goods-laden table. Breathless, they waited for him to take his seat and cheerfully begin digging into his food.

"Now?" Sirius muttered so that only the four of them could hear.

The other three nodded, and then three pairs of eyes locked on James who had volunteered to perform the needed spell, him being the best among them in Transfiguration. The short, messy-haired boy grinned with ill-suppressed excitement, and stealthily drew out his wand. Remus could not quite catch the incantation his friend had used, but he, as well as the rest of the Great Hall, could see the result.

At the center of the staff table, on his tall-backed chair, sat Headmaster Dumbledore. His long beard silvery and long, his half-moon spectacles twinkling in the candle light, matching the twinkle in his blue eyes, and his hat - a yellow sunbonnet with its silken ribbons tied into a bow-tie under his chin.

For a moment there was silence in the Hall, not even a word whispered. Then, slowly but surely, the murmurs began, slowly turning into giggles as the Headmaster went on eating, seemingly oblivious to what had been changed, finally becoming full-fledged howls of laughter at the sight of Professor McGangall's horrified expression.

"Who did this?" she demanded loudly, glowering at the students, entirely failing to inform Dumbledore of his new décor.

No one said a word. No one needed to. It was the boys' single mistake. They had deployed their expressions of innocence too early. For in a hall full of laughing children, those who pretend not to notice would not go unnoticed.

With a face as dark as a thundercloud, the stern professor descended upon her four students and, as she stopped right behind them, said in a cold, un-amused voice, "Detention."

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The morning after the Hat Prank dawned clear. As the four boys walked together down a corridor on their way to breakfast, Remus noticed that many people were casting sidelong glances their way. Many of those faces were disapproving, but others were grinning widely and pointing at the first years who had made fun of the Headmaster himself only a month or so into school. Remus suspected that some of them started associating their first work of two days before with them. He hoped that there was no retroactive punishing at Hogwarts, and that if there was, then that no one would find proof that it really _was_ them who had concocted the exploding armour incident.

As they settled into their seats and started picking food for breakfast, a very grumpy Professor McGonagall stopped beside them on her way to the staff table, informing them in a very flat voice that their detention (Remus and Peter's first and James' and Sirius' fourth - or was it fifth?) would take place that evening at eight in her office. Her tone spelled a very clear 'or else' in Remus' opinion. He lost his appetite after that, though if he was honest with himself, he did not have much of an appetite to begin with. Full moon was closer than ever, only two days away, and he was beginning to dread it. He still could not come up with an acceptable excuse for his absence that would enable him to keep his friends.

The others did not appear to be affected by McGonagall's curt words, for all three ate as usual, heartily and, in Sirius' case, rather sloppily. Remus frowned. Like James, Sirius was the son of an old wizarding family, belonging to a social circle which was the equivalent of aristocracy in the Muggle world. In the short while he had known both boys, the two showed impeccable, almost subconscious table manners. He then noticed that Sirius' eyes were fixed on the Slytherin table, and that his cousin Narcissa was glaring at him with disgust. Remus shook his head. For someone as intelligent as him, Sirius was certainly extremely childish.

After finishing their breakfast with time to spare, they leisurely made their way to the greenhouses, where they were to take Herbology class. It was a chilly day, and Remus bundled himself tightly in his cloak. He hoped fervently that he would not catch a cold. A cold now, after he had avoided getting one ever since he had started school, would be preposterous. He walked ahead with Peter as the other two lagged behind, talking in low voices that nevertheless carried all the way to his ears, faint as they were. He wondered why they were whispering amongst themselves without sharing it with Peter and him, but almost as soon as the pang of hurt touched him, he noticed the Evans Crowd, as they - or rather James - had dubbed the girls, just ahead of them and relaxed. He allowed his enhanced hearing to listen on the other two, slowing his pace.

"Yes, it was really amusing," James said quietly, obviously responding to something Sirius had said. "But I think we can do much better than that."

"More than playing a joke on the Headmaster himself, James - I highly doubt that. I mean, this is _Albus Dumbledore_ we're talking about. _You_ know - the wizard who defeated Grindelwald and all?" Sirius replied, frowning.

"Don't give me that, Sirius - we both know this was a rather mediocre prank - lower than that. If we want to establish our status as the greatest trouble makers Hogwarts has ever seen we can't stay in this level of puny tricks!"

"That was _not_ puny, James - it was the Headmaster's hat! Right under his nose!"

"Oh, _please_! It was good for a first year - but that's exactly the point! We can't stay in first year level - we need to start taking this more seriously. We need to research."

"Research what?"

"I don't know - we have to find things out, don't we? If we stick to only what we learn in class we'll never get _anywhere_. Any ideas, Remus?"

Remus was caught by surprise. So caught up as he was in overhearing what the others were saying, he did not expect James to include him in the conversation. He did not even realize that James knew he was listening.

"Err…" he mumbled, his mind frantically looking for an answer, finding none. "Dunno? Hexes, maybe? Jinxes? This place has a huge library - one of the finest in the whole wizarding world - we might as well make use of it. Maybe we could spend a bit of time there - looking for stuff? I mean, I know that the librarian would most likely kick us out if she'd know what we're doing there, but it's worth the try."

Sirius seemed horrified at the very idea. "Let me get this straight, Remus. You want me - _me_ - Sirius Black, the almighty slacker - in your words, if I may - to enter a _library_! Blasphemy! Preposterous! How dare you even _voice_ this thought!"

Remus stared at him as he kept on muttering indignantly to himself. Sirius was mental. Nothing short of mental. Suddenly noticing the girls were no longer ahead, however, he glanced at his wristwatch and then looked again, just to make sure he was not wrong. "Err… James? Sirius? Sirius - would you shut up for a moment? _Thank_ you. We're going to be late if you're not going to move you lazy arses _now_."

The others exchanged glances, also spotting the fact that there was no one else on the grounds but them, and so they set out in a dead run, arriving at the greenhouses five minutes after the bell rang. A harassed looking Professor Sprout sighed as they stormed through the door, stopping right in front of her, panting heavily.

From the corner of his eye Remus could see James opening his mouth to speak, but Sprout was ahead of him.

"None of your excuses, Potter," she said exasperatedly. "While I'm sure you have a perfectly good reason for being tardy, I don't have all day to listen to one of your speeches. Take your seats and next time its points off Gryffindor."

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That evening, at eight sharp as instructed, the four boys reported to McGonagall's office. They were all in different moods at the prospect of this detention. The first any of them had gotten for something that was not making trouble in class or instigating fights.

James and Sirius, while rather disappointed that they had been caught so soon, wishing they could have gotten away with it, still seemed delighted at the idea that their hard work was being rewarded in a way. Remus thought this view rather twisted, but did not tell them that.

Peter was the complete opposite of the two. He was trembling violently at the idea, musing out loud how his mother would respond to the owl informing her of his misdeeds, and hazarding guesses in a shaky voice about what was going to be done to them. He was laughed at by James and Sirius, who had both served a few detentions already, and were not in the least bit worried.

Remus himself was detached from everything around him. It happened frequently so close to the full moon, so he was not all that surprised. It was some sort of a passive feeling. He did not care at all about having to serve detention, and felt as though he was looking at the world through someone else's eyes - someone who was not involved in the conversation between the other boys and only watched the scene.

Apparently his passiveness did not go unnoticed. That probably would have surprised him if he was not so unfocused. People never really noticed him before, never commented of his introverted nature. But then again, he did not exactly have friends before.

"Hey, Remus!" he heard James' voice from miles and miles away, penetrating his self-imposed stupor.

"What?" he retrieved his scattered thoughts with difficulty and focused on the bespectacled face in front of him which peered at him in concern. Behind him Remus could see the equally worried faces of Sirius and Peter.

"Are you all right? Only your eyes are kind of glazed and you nearly bumped into Sirius a moment ago. What's preoccupying your mind?"

"Oh, nothing," he covered up as quickly as he could, his brain working overtime. "I'm just tired, I guess. Too many excitements in too little time."

While Peter relaxed at this, Sirius and James did not seem to buy it, so Remus glanced at his watch and exclaimed "We're going to be late! Come on, let's hurry up!"

It was actually ten minutes to eight by his watch, having left the common room a quarter of an hour before the appointed time, but he _really_ did not want the two to probe too closely to the truth. He might be exposed and then where will he be? Friendless and most likely expelled from Hogwarts before he had had time to protest.

And therefore it was for the first (and probably last) time in their years at Hogwarts that the four Gryffindor boys appeared precisely on time at McGonagall's office, even with a few minutes to spare.

"Good," she said sternly once they filed quietly into the room and took seats as she had instructed them. "Now, before I give you your detentions I must impose on you that your little 'joke' was in very bad form. This school is a very highly regarded establishment and its Headmaster is considered to be the greatest wizard of all times (even though he will deny it if you said that to his face). I was sorely disappointed with the four of you. _Never_ in the entire history of Hogwarts did a first year student - or any student for that matter - dare pulling such a joke on the Headmaster himself! This will not recur! Do you understand me?"

The four boys nodded enthusiastically and McGonagall looked pleased. Remus however could see the insincerity glowing from both James and Sirius. Their twinned expressions were too smug and too mischievous. They had no intention whatsoever to listen to a word McGonagall had uttered.

She, unaware of this, continued in a completely different tone. "On another subject, I want to tell you how proud I am of the four of you. Even though it looked as though you four would never bond, you have succeeded in doing so against all opinions, and in a remarkably short time. I am very proud to have such excellent young men in my House. Now," she once more changed tones, this time speaking briskly and to the point, "your detentions. As you are only first years and this is your first detention - for Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew, anyway - your punishment will not be severe and you will only be writing lines-" James and Sirius' faces fell at that "-and I expect each of you to write by the end of two hours 'I will not play a joke on the Headmaster ever again' four hundred times - and no wands!"

_So much for Not Severe Punishments,_ Remus thought bitterly.

By the end of the appointed two hours, Remus' hands were sweaty and shaky. His forehead was creased with concentration and he was considerably paler than before, which was saying a lot. The page in front of him was blurry and he could barely make out the marks on it. It was going to be a tough one, this month. He just knew it would be.

McGonagall, who came to see how he was doing, snapped "What is this, Mr. Lupin? I said four hundred times! This is barely two hundred! Wha-" she cut herself short upon seeing the perspiration on his face, and leaned to have a better look at him. "What's wrong, Mr. Lupin? Are you ill?"

He tried to shake his head - but even that took too much effort out of him.

How could he explain to her that full moon was less than forty eight hours away and that sometimes he just could not handle the pressure? How could he explain to her that he needed rest and calm so badly right now? How could he explain that to her when his newly acquired friends were in hearing distance - hovering just beyond her shoulder, trying to see what was wrong with him?

The phrase 'friendship' was too new to him - too fresh. He did not want to be alone again and if lying to his friends was the only way he could keep them - then that was what he was going to do.

It looked like McGonagall finally realized what was wrong. She instinctively glanced through her window at the almost full moon and sighed sadly, a compassionate expression blossoming on her face. "Never mind the rest of your lines, then. You are clearly unwell. Can you take him back to the Tower, boys?"

He thought he heard James' voice agreeing. Then felt himself being led away, tugged this way and that when they reached turns, pushed up stairs and down hallways.

The next thing he knew, he was in his four-poster up in Gryffindor Tower, his bed's draperies closed against the almost painful light of the near-full moon.

He slept.

**That's all for today, people! Next chapter would appear within a week, on Sunday. I hope you enjoyed today's update, and please review and tell me what you think!**

**See you all soon!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	4. Family

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Super-long chapter today. I know I normally stick to an average of 15 pages in previous stories, but you could call this chapter a double-issue or something. I couldn't just cut it in the middle. It would have been wrong.

And so, without further ado, the chapter!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Four - Family**

"That slimy git!" James was muttering darkly as he returned the next evening to the common room from his hour's detention with Slughorn. That specific appellation Remus had learned to associate with Severus Snape, and considering what had happened that morning just off the Great Hall, he did not blame his friend at all.

"What happened?" Peter asked, glad a distraction came, putting his quill down. He was trying to write his Potions essay about Wolfsbane, but failed miserably to fill eight inches of parchment. There was only so much you could write without repeating yourself, and Peter was never an expert in the art of prattling.

"Not only that I had to waste my Sunday afternoon on a meaningless detention, that ugly piece of scum actually told Slughorn I attacked him over nothing and got away without a punishment. Hah! That's the best joke I heard in a long while! The sniveling bastard! So good at slithering his way out of trouble!"

That morning, right after breakfast, James had had a little disagreement with Snape. The Slytherin had said something horrible about James' family, and the short boy reacted instantly, drawing his wand. It had been his misfortune that at that precise point Professor Slughorn had come from around the corner, and again, with apparent reluctance, gave the James alone a detention that very afternoon. Snape did not so much as get points deducted. James had grumbled about it all day long.

"What did you have to do - lines?" writing lines was Peter's most hated detention even back in primary school, and therefore he thought that everyone else must hate it with the same fervour.

"You wish, Peter," James made a face, spreading his hands in front of his to show them the muck underneath the nails. "I had to de-brain a bowlful of newts. It was disgusting, I can tell you that. I think that Slughorn particularly enjoys letting me disembowel or de-something various creatures," he broke off his flood of complaints, and then frowned, scrutinizing Remus. "Are you alright, Remus?"

Oh, no. Someone _had_ noticed after all, Remus thought in chagrin as he forced himself to smile. He was only a month at Hogwarts and already he put himself in jeopardy. James was too aware of his surroundings for Remus' liking. If he goes on being this inquisitive he may stumble over Remus' secret, and then what? Remus quenched that frightening thought away.

"I'm fine, James," he lied quickly, faking a yawn, fervently hoping it sounded convincing. "Just a tad tired. It was a long day."

"Can't say I call Sunday a long day - but whatever you say, mate," James said, luckily shrugging it off.

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It was the morning before full moon, and Remus could not remember feeling this bad in a very long time. His head was pounding, his eyes burned and had he not known it impossible, he could have sworn that his _hair_ ached.

The sun had risen over an hour ago, and his infernal internal mechanism that made him wake at dawn every day did not help his miserable disposition. His face contorted in an expression of misery, he curled deeper into his thick blanket and buried his head under the pillow. Several moments later he removed the pillow from his head, feeling suffocated. His breathing became laboured, and he felt himself breaking in sweat.

This was not a good way to start the day.

Sometime later he heard the drapes moved aside first in one bed, and then, a few moments later in another. James and Sirius were up, and most likely Peter would soon wake as well. He knew their waking schedule well, having listened to their mumbles and grumbles every day for almost a month. He also knew that they had both expected him to be up and about by now, and that they would be very much surprised once they were awake enough to notice his drawn curtains. He could not bring himself to care, even though deep inside he worried that they might understand what ailed him once they see him.

It did not take long for James' puzzled "isn't Remus awake yet?" to come, followed by Sirius' "that's strange," and Peter's mumble that "he didn't look too well yesterday."

Without warning Remus' drapes were pulled back, and he winced against the sudden sunlight that invaded his dark cocoon. He attempted to say something, but all that came out was a hoarse croak.

"'Just a tad tired', eh?" Sirius said, his eyes narrowed. "I remember you saying that last night, Remus. Don't think I don't."

"That's it, mate," James said, his voice determined. "You're staying in bed today. Or better yet, you are going to the Hospital Wing. I'm sure the school mediwitch would have something that will help you."

And so, unceremoniously, and deaf to Remus' weak, half-formed protests, Sirius and James bundled him in a thick winter cloak and half-marched, half-carried him to the Hospital Wing, where they deposited him in Madam Pomfrey's care. The mediwitch immediately shooed them away, leaving her alone with Remus

The woman puttered around him, measuring his temperature, peering into his eyes, looking into his mouth and the back of his throat. She checked his pulse and his blood pressure, finally asking him "Does this happen often?"

He shook his head, but when her expression demanded more detailed information, complied, his voice still hoarse. "It happened more often when I was younger - right after the Bite. My first… year, I think, of transformations was all like that, and worse. I used to run high fever and vomit in addition to everything else. After that I guess I just… adjusted. These occasions became less frequent, and now I can go through a year or more of transformations without it recurring."

"I see. Tell me, Mr. Lupin, do these events happen at a specific time? What I mean is, does it happen because of specific causes?"

"When I'm particularly upset," he admitted. "When there's too much bad excitement on the days before, when I'm afraid, or depressed. It means that this month's transformation is going to be hard, from my experience."

"I see," she repeated. "And have you been in some sort of emotional distress in the past week or so?"

"Not… not that I can remember," he said with a frown. "I had detention a couple of days ago, but I felt bad before that, I think. I can't think of anything that could have triggered it, and I'm pretty adapted at analyzing my mood before transformation."

She sat in front of him in silence for a while, deep in thought. Presently she reached a conclusion. "What I think we're dealing with here, Mr. Lupin, is a delayed reaction. Your first full moon at Hogwarts was only five days after you have arrived, not letting the shock quite set in. I am guessing that all the excitement and worries you felt at starting Hogwarts are only now sinking in, and that this causes your distress. Either way, you are to have bed rest until it is time for us to go down to the house, and I don't want any arguments. Hurry up, now! Hop into bed!"

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That night's transformation was horrid. The pains usually accompanying it intensified tenfold. In his last aware moments, Remus thought that his screams of agony would carry all the way to the castle and beyond. He could not stand it. For the first time since his very first transformation he battled the moon.

Back when he was little, he had understood well that struggling and fighting against the moon only made the transformation harder and more painful, and so he let himself go during moonrise, letting the overwhelming powers of the moon take over him as gently as possible. It never spared him the pain, but it was more bearable that way.

This time it was different. His suffering body wanted it to stop and so, against the rational knowledge of the conscious mind, or what was left of it at that point, decided that were he to fight enough, the pain would stop, the curse would lift. It was irrational. It was a mistake, but he could not help it. He wanted everything to stop.

And so he fought, fighting nail and tooth against the progressing transformation, every inch lost burning through his body with indescribable pain.

But there was no fighting the moon. Not for a werewolf. No matter how hard he tried. There was no winning against that evil.

As blackness engulfed Remus, he knew he had lost.

The full moon shone.

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Remus was back at school three days later. He had spent those three days in the Hospital Wing, sheltered by closely drawn curtains around his bed, fed multitudes of evil-tasting potions by the relentless Madam Pomfrey. He had not been a pretty sight when she had helped him to the school early in the morning after his transformation, bruised and battered as he was, and even the three days of rest had not managed to completely erase the marks on his body. All he could do was to cover his body with long clothes and hope none of his bruises would show. If only the day had not been a very hot one…

He walked slowly up to Gryffindor Tower late that evening, carrying his untouched backpack slung across his shoulder. He wondered if any of his friends would notice anything strange. They were a clever bunch, after all.

"Remus!" three voices greeted him once the portrait hole closed behind him.

Looking up, he grinned, albeit tiredly, at his friends. Suddenly the day did not appear to be too bad anymore. The three were sitting next to a table at the corner of the common room, where no one could see exactly what they were doing without them noticing it. They had a few thick books opened in front of them, and for some reason he did not think they were meant for homework. He could see bits of parchment sticking out from the books, marking places, and he assumed that they had begun their research some time ago.

"I hope you don't mind we started without you, Remus," James said in a low voice as he sat next to them, letting go of his bag. "But we thought we'd make a head-start on our prank-making even though you weren't around. There's a lot of great stuff in those books!" His friend was very excited and seemed quite anxious to get back to work, Remus thought.

Beside the already opened books over which the others were poring, there was still a big pile of yet more books waiting to be looked through. Randomly picking one, he raised an eyebrow at the name. "_Hogwarts, A History_?" he asked skeptically, tapping the worn cover of the book. "Isn't that just a dry account of the thousand years of Hogwarts' existence?"

"Oh, I don't know what that's doing in _that_ pile. We've already gone through most of that. But on the contrary," Sirius said, grinning. "That's what we thought at first, too, but we've decided to take a look anyway, and Peter stumbled over some very nice information in this little thing - nothing a normal, obedient student would notice - but then, we aren't normal nor obedient, now are we?"

"Though we can't deny being students, eh?" Remus asked dryly.

"Unfortunately so," Sirius lamented, although Remus knew very well that he preferred Hogwarts over his own home. During the month or so Sirius Black had joined forces with them, Remus learned that he was not very happy in his home, always expected to uphold the family honour and be just as obsessed as his parents about blood purity and all that came with it. The boy had tried to fit in with the rest of his family, but no matter what he did, it was never good enough. His sorting into Gryffindor was apparently the last straw as far as his parents were concerned, for they now almost completely ignored his existence.

Shrugging those errant thoughts away, and just for the sake of pure interest, Remus opened the book at a random point and started reading. Calling _Hogwarts, A History_ 'little' was quite an understatement, he soon decided. The book was thicker than a grown man's thigh and full of tiny print and side notes. He thought the author was either extremely bored or an over-the-top perfectionist. Maybe even both.

"It's rather interesting, really," Peter said, looking up from the book he was skimming through (_Simple Hexes for the Beginner_). "A lot of prank ideas. Ask James to show you - he did the list."

"That I have," James chuckled and handed Remus a foot long roll of parchment covered with a somewhat childish handwriting and a lot of ink smears that spoke of an impaired quill or a messy hand. Putting that aside, however, he scanned the list.

His eyes widened. "You got all this from a _history_ book!"

James nodded vigourously. "Not all of it is from that book, because we had time to go through more than the one thing, but a lot, yes. Funny how mischievous our ancestors had been, don't you think? Practically verging on the genius in some aspects."

"Here," Sirius said, pushing a thin book down his way "As I said, Peter and James took turns on that book and they're nearly finished with it. Start leafing through this one - we haven't gotten to read it yet."

Not liking the weird glint in Sirius' eyes yet grateful that his physical condition had not been noticed, Remus accepted the thin volume warily and started reading it, liking the glint even less once seeing the title. It was a vibrantly coloured book called _A Hundred Fascinating Things You Can Do with Frog Spawn and Jam_.

He soon wished he had listened to his instincts. Instincts were important. Instincts were the very core of survival. Instincts saved you from Sirius Black.

"Sirius, you git!" he choked, flinging the book across the table and as far away from him as possible. "I just had _dinner_!"

The other boy chuckled, happy that his evil planned had worked. "Exactly why none of us got to read it yet. Be a good chap and finish reading."

The rest of the evening passed mostly pleasantly (once he had finished with that disgusting book Sirius had deposited in his hands every time he tried pushing it away), and Remus absent-mindedly noticed that his fatigue was growing less and less profound, and that he was actually willing to sit there all through the night if needed.

When he cautiously inquired whether they knew where he had spent the last three days, James raised one eyebrow questioningly and said "Of course we knew, Remus. We went to visit you after dinner in the Hospital Wing but that Pomfrey woman had your curtains drawn and kicked us out, saying that you were very sick and that you are not to be disturbed. It was the same every time we came to visit you, and in the end she chased us out with a broomstick for - what was it, Sirius?"

"'Disturbing the peace', I think it was," the other boy quoted. "She was rather insistent, but she told us that you would most likely return this evening, so we weren't worried. We were glad to see you on your feet again, though. You looked like shit when we brought you there on Monday."

Soon after that, they packed all their books and retired for the night. Remus slept soundly that night, a slight smile on his lips.

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The next day at Transfiguration, Remus was passed a note. He had been intently following McGonagall's lecture when it hit him squarely on the head, landing by his hand by what seemed like sheer luck. Guardedly, he made sure that McGonagall's attention was away from him, and unfolded the small piece of parchment, finding James' handwriting decorating it. It read:

_"Remus,_

_"Sirius and I thought we might do a little thing to liven things up in this dull, dull lesson. Unfortunately, McGonagall seemed to be eyeing us quite closely today. I wonder why. So anyway, could you do us the favour of distracting Professor I've-Got-A-Broomstick-Up-My-Arse McGonagall?_

_"Much obliged,_

_"James."_

Remus was not sure whether he wanted to do that, having spent one night in detention already, but, seeing the pleading look on James' face, sighed and raised his hand all the same. McGonagall, who was correcting the mousy little Haley's wandwork, strode briskly over to his desk.

"Yes, Mr. Lupin?"

"Well, Professor," he started, a little unsure of himself, cursing inside that he had not bothered coming up with an excuse, but then remembering something he meant to ask for a while now, "I know it's a bit early, but I was wondering. Is there any chance that I will be allowed to stay here for Christmas? What I mean is, with my mother's condition and everything, I'm not sure if I'll be able to go home and-"

"Quite understandable, Mr. Lupin," she said, her eyes telling him that she understood what his real question was. "Yes, it is possible for students to stay at Hogwarts for-"

"AHHHHHHHH!" a girl's scream echoed in the classroom, startling everyone, including Remus, who had half-expected something of the like to happen. "Who did it! Who _did_ it!"

Remus, now recognizing the voice, turned to see a very enraged, very pale, pink-and-yellow haired Evans. She was almost crying, holding one lock of her once flaming-red hair in front of her eyes, and he felt a pang of guilt, knowing he had helped achieving this state.

McGonagall, her voice very angry, asked "Who is responsible for this? Who did this dastardly act? I want you to confess this very moment, or the repercussions would not be pleasant!"

Lazily and as if he could not care less (and in truth he could not) James rose up from behind his desk and, coughing lightly to catch the teacher's attention, said "I did, professor."

"And the reason behind it…?" McGonagall asked menacingly.

"No reason whatsoever, professor," the black-haired boy said cheerfully. "I felt like it."

"You _felt_ like it! Detention, Potter! And ten points off Gryffindor! I will see you here at eight o'clock sharp. Any tardiness will cost you _more_ points!"

James didn't even flinch. He nodded respectfully and sat back down, his eyes twinkling madly behind their glasses. It took everything Remus could muster to stifle the smile that had sprang on his lips upon seeing James' expression.

"I _hate_ him!" a tearful Lily Evans whispered to one of the twin girls who was sitting by her. Remus, sitting quite a distance from them, could barely hear what the other girl said next, but he did, and at her words, his ears perked. Sometimes enhanced senses came in handy, he concluded. Especially when they helped getting one's friend out of trouble.

"We'll get back at him, Lily," the blonde twin said comfortingly, glaring at James from the corner of her eye. "Don't worry. Keira knows all his weak points - he'll pay for what he did. He can't expect to get away with it."

After the lesson was over and lunch eaten, Remus and his friends walked down to the grounds, their Friday afternoon being free of classes. It was a rather pleasant, cool day, and the wind gently played with the tree tops in the Forbidden Forest. The four walked slowly, wanting to take in as much sun and clean air as possible before heading back to the common room.

"Hey, James," Remus said hesitantly, not sure if James would believe his warning. After all, his friend knew that he had sat a fair distance from the girls.

"Yeah?" the other boy said distractedly, his eyes fixed on the lake, watching into the distance.

"Evans and quite possibly Keira are going to try and get back at you for what you did to Evans earlier. I overheard them talking about it."

The messy haired boy, quite contrary to Remus' initial belief, looked delighted at the very thought, his eyes lighting up. "Great! Then I'll have an excuse to prank my dear beloved cousin! This day couldn't get better!"

Remus thought this was a very strange way to describe that day, taking into account that they had had Potions with the Slytherins earlier than morning and that McGonagall had put him in detention, but did not say anything to contradict it. Instead he shrugged and went on walking, his posture stooped and his hands in his pockets.

"How would you rate what we did to Evans, Peter?" Sirius asked airily, suddenly admitting that he had had a part in the Transfiguration prank.

"In a zero to ten scale?" the round boy asked, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "About minus fifty, I'd say."

"Hey!" Sirius protested while James merely laughed.

"What!" Peter defended. "You asked for my opinion and that's it. It wasn't highly original and I thought we wanted to establish ourselves with a higher level of pranks! While I was not involved this time, this may determine the level of our projects later!"

"He has a point there, Sirius," James mused, no longer laughing, his eyes now focused. "Let's get down to planning, shall we?"

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The girls' attempt to get back at James for what he had done to Evans failed miserably. They had tried to pay him back with the same sort of charm he had used on their friend, but he had ducked in the last possible moment, and only a strand of his hair had changed colour, and that was hurriedly fixed by simply cutting it off. True, James grumbled about ruining the perfect mess in which his hair was set, but cheered up considerably when Remus noted that it would, in fact, contribute to the general messiness, because it would have a different length when it would finally grow again.

Either way, that incidence did not deter the friends from going out on the exploration Sirius had suggested. Remus weakly protested when he realized that the taller boy had meant them to go after-hours, but his protest was drowned by James' enthusiasm at the idea.

"It's after-hours, James. Are you sure we want to do that?" Remus said nervously, his eyes darting this way and that, trying to penetrate the darkness about them, alert to any change of texture in the dark that would tell him they were being watched. He knew he was being paranoid, but he could not help it. He was scared of what would happen if a teacher would catch them out of bed.

"Calm _down_, Remus," James said reassuringly. "We're here to have fun - not just to study."

"Yes, but this might end in detention - not to talk about lots of points deducted or expulsion." Remus' apprehension was growing by the minute.

"Don't be such a scared baby, my friend. Enjoy the moment. We're young! We're-"

"Shut it, James! I think its Filch coming!"

"Nah, it's just his nasty little ca-"

"HIDE!"

The sound of four pairs of feet scurrying away was heard in the darkened corridor as two lamp-like eyes appeared. The cat, inaptly named Mrs. Norris, turned a corner to see absolutely nothing. With a questioning meow, she turned tail and returned to her spying elsewhere.

"We're saved," Remus breathed loudly, slumping down the wall he had squeezed himself against.

"That devil's spawn!" Sirius hissed. "She always appears in the wrong place at the wrong time!"

"Depends on who's looking at it," James said with a shrug. Remus envied his apparent calm. "Now let's go. It's risky enough without you shouting."

"Oh, look at the pot calling the kettle black!" Remus said indignantly.

"Pardon?" Three pairs of eyes turned to stare at him, devoid of understanding.

"Forget it," he sighed. "Muggle saying. My dad always says it to Mum when she calls her boss a bloody witch."

"Your dad's a Muggle?" Peter asked curiously. "I thought you were a pure-blood."

"Nope. Half-blood. But Dad often forgets he's a Muggle, and tinkers with everything magic, so there isn't much of a difference."

"I see."

"Sshhh!" Sirius hissed all of a sudden, glaring at the two. He strained to hear something. Watching the direction of the other boy's gaze, Remus directed his hearing there and soon caught the noise Sirius had heard: the sound of footsteps coming their way, quick and determined. There was nowhere to go - nowhere to run. The four boys pressed hopelessly against the wall behind them, hoping against all hope that something will render them invisible there and then.

Something clicked behind them. All four jumped away from the wall in alarm. As one, they turned to see that in the center of the slightly garish painting of a bowl of fruits they were leaning against appeared a doorknob. They exchanged wary glances.

Remus, who could hear the treading of feet grow louder and closer, pushed his friends aside and quickly wrenched the doorknob, revealing a hole in the wall behind the painting. Relieved that their silent pleas have been answered, the four pushed inside, slammed the painting closed behind them and as one, leaned on it in relief.

Only to meet about a hundred big eyes staring at them.

"What the-" Peter started, his eyes wide enough to match those of the ones staring.

"House-elves!" James and Sirius breathed.

Remus had never seen house-elves before. His family was not that well-off. He was looking at the strange creatures in interest, noting how different they were from one another, when James' low whistle made him look up. He could not believe they were where they were. It was the one place which students were not supposed to even know its whereabouts. They were in the school kitchens.

"Sirs!" squeaked a voice near them. "I is Pinch! How may Pinch be of service?"

Almost jumping several feet in the air, Remus looked down. A male (or _was_ it a male?) elf was wiping his hands on a towel bearing the Hogwarts crest and beaming at them.

"Erm…" he started, looking helplessly at James. What was he supposed to say to the creature? Were any rules or etiquette required when one addressed a house-elf?

The other boy, however, seemed completely unperturbed, and crouched down so he was in Pinch's line of sight. "Hello, Pinch. I am James. These are Sirius, Remus and Peter. We're students here. Are these the school kitchens?"

In the back, Remus could hear Sirius mumble something about stupid questions and obvious answers, but Remus thought that it was very nice of James to be polite to the small creature.

"Yes, master James!"

"Just James, please," the short boy said, wincing. "Can you tell us how we got in here? We were in a hurry and did not notice the actions that led us in here."

"Yes, master James, sir! You is tickling the pear in the painting!"

"We is - I mean have?"

"Yes, sir!" the elf looked delighted at being able to answer James' question satisfactorily.

Watching his friends, Remus could see James and Sirius exchanging mischievous glances. The two were already thinking of all the possibilities that were now open to them. Oh, the things they could do with free access to the kitchens…

Half an hour later, rather sleepy from their night of toil, the four boys, laden with sweets (for the house-elves would not take no for an answer), made their way back to Gryffindor Tower.

All in all this was a successful first tour of the castle, Remus thought as he drifted in sleep.

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Hollowe'en came and went without any incident. Though James pressured for something to be done - specifically to Kelly - they could not come up with something in time. The short boy was rather sour over Hollowe'en and the following days. However, even though he was in a foul mood, Remus had something to tell him and the others two days later, and it could not be postponed.

Full moon came again and Remus was contemplating possible ways of convincing his friends there was nothing wrong with him. It was rather hard, as they were always together these days, plotting their rise to glory. And James and Sirius could both be so infuriatingly perceptive…

"Erm… guys?" he tried once they left Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom on the afternoon of November second.

"What?" the three responded as one, then gave each other mock-glares.

"I… Well, the thing is that I'm leaving again tonight. I'll probably be back in two or three days time like last time."

"What's wrong?" James asked curiously. "Is it your mum again?"

"Err - yes," he said with relief, spared the need to invent a lie. "It would seem that she's still ill and she wants me to come and help for a little while, so…" he faltered.

"We understand perfectly, Remus," Sirius said, putting a compassionate hand over his arm.

"We'll write notes for you!" Peter said enthusiastically, earning himself two smacks over the head once Remus' back was turned.

"What was that for!" he hissed at the other two, rubbing his scalp.

"Notes, Peter? Notes! You want _us_ to take notes!" Sirius said incredulously.

Peter shrugged. "Won't hurt you, you know."

James and Sirius exchanged heartbroken glances.

"Fare thee well, beautiful world!" Sirius said miserably and, if Remus was any judge, quite a bit overdramatically.

Ahead of them, and clear of their vision, he snorted to himself and shook his head. Of all the people in the school he had to befriend the two greatest slobs.

But that was the annoying thing about this perfectly matched pair. Though coming from two different backgrounds, they were so close in character, that you could mistake them for twins. Both of them did not set foot within the library if it was not on prank business. You never saw any of them studying the stuff learned in the last lesson. They always did their essays (and mind you, they had to do a _lot_ of essays in their first months of school) about half an hour before class and as for listening in class...

And the most annoying thing was that they always received full marks. Life was just not fair.

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An hour before moonrise Remus made his way to the Entrance Hall, shaking his friends' offer to walk with him with much difficulty, giving them the lame excuse that he wanted to think about things by himself. They accepted it, however, and he attributed it to the fact that they thought he was worried over his mother. He met Madam Pomfrey as planned and she led him yet again into the house at the end of the tunnel.

He paced aimlessly up and down the bedroom after she had left, trying to keep his mind off the near transformation. So he thought about his friends instead. It kept him more or less sane until the transformation inevitably took place and once again he turned into the mindless beast, craving for human blood. But there were no humans around. There was nothing to bite.

The werewolf half leaped, half tumbled down the stairs to the first floor. It ran in every which direction - trying to find a way out. It knew there were humans nearby - it knew this for a fact, it could _smell _them, and being unable to reach his victims made it more and more frustrated. It started banging into the solid furniture strewn across the floor for the use of the boy it no longer was.

It soon gave up its frantic attacks of the now partially wrecked pieces of wood and raised its muzzle.

The werewolf howled. It was a spine-chilling howl that was heard down in the nearby village of Hogsmeade; a howl that sent fear into the heart of anyone hearing it.

The full moon shone.

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Another month or so had passed. Another full moon passed also. Remus used the sick mother excuse yet again, but he had the feeling James and Sirius were starting to have serious doubts. It made him worried, and through that worry, he withdrew into himself, finding excuses to be alone. He would use homework as an excuse, or headaches, always receiving strange glances from the other three, but no protests.

Deep down he knew that he was doing it in order to prepare himself for their leaving him. He could not imagine any other response from them except for complete and utter rejection, and he knew he would not be able to handle it if he allowed himself to be too much attached to him. He did not notice their worried eyes, or their hushed conversations. He wanted to keep them, but did not know how, when their friendship depended on them never finding out.

Going to classes became a very tedious thing. They were studying the same things every lesson because most of the class had trouble mastering the spells, incantations and potions. It very much frustrated James, Sirius and Remus, who were three of the brightest students in their year, and easily mastered most that was taught in class that year.

And so they were sitting one day in Charms at the very back of the classroom - a place that had become their favourite spot - and woe betide those who tried sitting there - bored out of their wits. Peter, much less accomplished than his three friends, was by them, trying to make his coin do somersaults in the air as requested, but to no avail. The other three tried over and over again to teach him the trick, but in the end he glared at them telling them "Thank you very much, but unless you can decide over a single way of teaching me - I'd rather do this by myself." - Which shut them up quite quickly.

"What's on your mind, James?" Remus suddenly asked. He had noticed that his friend was preoccupied lately, and wanted to know the reason behind it. A James that was not cheery was far more disturbing than many other things he could come up with - including a hundred things you could do with frog spawn and jam.

"Well," said James, frowning. "It's December now and in these past three or so months we barely did three pranks. We need to show presence, if we want to be established as mischief-makers around here. I want Kelly to stop smirking at me every time I pass by - she keeps telling me that I am going to fail and that I would be the laughing stock of the school by the end of the year."

Sirius stretched luxuriously in his seat, somewhat like a big feline, yawned and continued playing with his coin. "What did you have in mind, James?" he asked, his eyes glued to the coin.

"Well," James started slowly, now keeping his voice low as Flitwick walked past them on his way to help one of the other students, "I was thinking, as we missed doing something on Hollowe'en, we should do something big before everyone's leaving for Christmas vacation."

Remus frowned. "Christmas is two weeks away, James. I thought you wanted something soon."

"Oh, but I want something _big_," the small boy said enthusiastically. "We've been thinking about something that will establish our reputation. This is _the_ chance, see? That way everyone will remember it before they go home for Christmas! Besides, if it's going to be big - and mark my words, it will be - it'll take a while to plan. Let's make a good use of this month, shall we? I want to leave for Christmas with a bang!"

"Speaking of Christmas," Peter said suddenly, finally tired of his futile efforts and changing the subject. "Are you going home? Just so I know where to send your presents."

"I'm going home," James said, "Mum and Dad cleared their schedule especially for this, so no way am I missing Christmas! And as Sirius' mum is… err… not very understanding at the moment he's coming with me."

"I am?" Sirius asked, shaking himself out of the bitter mood that had overpowered him lately. His eyes were wide and Remus perceived that he never expected anything like this. While he was much more open and friendly these days, it looked as though he still found it hard to believe that someone who was not of his family's sort would voluntarily befriend him. Remus knew how he felt. He had felt the same from the very first moment James and he had met.

"'course you are," James said, staring at Sirius as though it was the most obvious thing in the world and that there was no question about it. Remus almost laughed at the delighted expression that took over Sirius' somber face.

"Staying," he said shortly as Peter's attention swerved to him.

"Why's that?" James asked with surprise in his eyes.

"Mum isn't in the best of shape. She said she'll make it up to me on the summer," he said and immediately knew that it was the wrong thing to say. James' forehead creased into a frown. He said nothing, though, so Remus hoped he had believed him - at least partially.

"You can come over to my place as well," his friend then offered. "Mum and Dad wouldn't mind."

"No, no, it's all right. I'll stay here," he said, and quickly diverted the subject away from Christmas.

They were on their way to dinner later that day, when they came upon two girls in the middle of a loud argument. Normally they would not have bothered with anything of the like, especially since both girls were older than them, but this was different. To one side was Sirius' fourth year cousin, Narcissa, her face red with anger, three Slytherin girls backing her up. To the other, was the cool-faced Andromeda, her seventh year sister. She was standing alone, but showed no sign of fear. She simply looked down at the younger girl, her face unreadable.

"-so shameful!" was the first thing the four had heard, coming into view of the two girls.

"Andy?" Sirius asked, interrupting his favourite cousin before she could retort to whatever it was her sister had said. "What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on, Sirius," the brown-haired girl said calmly, her cool eyes never leaving Narcissa's face. "Just a disagreement. Cissy is involving herself in my affairs.

Narcissa however, seemed to disagree with her sister's diagnostic. "I'll tell you what's going on! _She_ is dating a Mudblood!" Narcissa spat, pointing at her dark-haired sister with a trembling finger.

"So what if I do?" Andromeda asked indignantly. "What business is it of yours who I date?"

"It is the family's business!" Narcissa shrieked. "Mark my words, Andromeda! Mother is not going to be happy with you - and neither is Bella!"

"I couldn't care less about what either of them thinks, Narcissa," Andromeda said calmly. "They have no control over my life. Not anymore. I am of age, and had I not promised it to Father a long time ago, I would have left home the moment I turned seventeen. So go back to your Slytherin friends and leave me be."

That caused the blonde fourth year to turn, seething, and leave, all the while muttering about blood-traitors and mudblood-lovers. Watching her leave, all five people standing in the corridor waited in silence.

Remus could only imagine how bad that was. From the little Sirius had told him, and from what James was able to tell, he knew that the Blacks, members of a family that could trace their ancestry far beyond medieval times, were very much worried about the matter of blood-purity, and that one of their daughters dating a Muggle-born would be a huge blow to their ego. He remembered Sirius' mother's reaction to his sorting into Gryffindor, and back then he had thought he had never heard anything that horrible. Now, however, he realized that when Andromeda would get _her_ Howler, it would be much, much worse.

The older girl did not seem to care. She was standing straight, her eyes defiantly following her sister's retreating back. Only when Narcissa and her friends disappeared around the corner did she let her rigid control relax.

"Well," she said brightly. "That went better than I had expected. When she spotted me and Ted I thought Mother would be coming to the school the very next day and curse me on the spot."

"She's going to tell on you, you _do_ know that, don't you, Andy?" Sirius said softly, his face dark. To Remus it seemed as though his friend was much more worried than Andromeda was.

"Who is?" she said lightly, adjusting the strap of her book bag.

"Cissy."

"Ah. Yes, I do know that, Sirius, but I am going to spend this last Christmas with the family, and after that - good riddance, I say! I owe them nothing more - and nor would you once you are old enough."

"I will _never_ be old enough," he said bitterly.

"Just six more years, Sirius. Six more years and you can be through with them just like me," she said comfortingly. "And if it ever gets out of hand - then you can always crash in my place for a while - once I get a place, that is."

Sirius' smile was bittersweet and he nodded. "When you get a place of your own, Andy, you wouldn't be able to get rid of me."

To the surprise of all, not the least Andromeda, she had received no Howler over the remaining time until Christmas. When the four boys had crossed her path over that time, Remus could see that she was ill at ease, and that she was most likely worried about not receiving anything from the family yet.

However, since she obviously knew that Narcissa was aware of the relationship she apparently had with a Muggle-born, suddenly wherever she went, they could see her on the arm of a tall young man, a seventh year called Ted Tonks from her House, to whom Sirius had taken an immediate liking. If it was because he was a Muggle-born and would annoy his parents even more or if it was because he genuinely liked the man, Remus did not know. It was very hard to tell with Sirius Black, whom he still had a problem to decipher at times.

James did not seem to mind, though. Unlike Remus, who was slow to trust and slow to hate, the messy-haired boy was quick to form an opinion, and so he did not mind Sirius' darker side, and stuck by him, just as Remus had known he will. He just wished that his situation would have been as simple. No matter how strong their friendship was now, he was certain that the moment James would find out about his lycanthropy, it would all go away.

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Preparing for the big Christmas Prank, the four boys worked hard every free hour of the day, and during lessons they passed notes with weird to dangerous ideas of what to actually do. It was only about a week before the appointed day that Sirius finally came up with an idea, that though Remus had to brutally censor its crueler aspects into a more docile version, made them all happy.

They had spent the next few days almost exclusively in the library. Annexing a table for their needs, they pillaged the potions and charms aisles and pored over those thick tomes for hours at a time, only leaving the library when the stern librarian insisted that it was closing time. Sirius and James grumbled a lot about not being able to sneak into the forbidden section, sure that what they needed was there, but hawkeyed Madam Pince made it virtually impossible.

The library was not their only haunt that week. Many more hours, specifically after-hours, were spent up in Gryffindor Tower, in the privacy of their dorm. The dormitory, normally semi-tidy, semi-natural catastrophe, was now littered with bits and pieces of parchment, some crumpled into balls, others with long, detailed lists and directions on them. There were notes everywhere - taped to the beds and to the back of the door, on tables and beds and a hefty amount of them also on the floor. And if that was not enough, the floor was also strewn with big splashes of ink where an enthusiastic hand would wave a loaded quill in every which direction. Interesting sketches were spellotaped to the walls and in the midst of all this chaos was a big pile of empty drink cans, obtained after sending a carefully-phrased letter to Remus' father, and a big cauldron that hissed and fumed over an ancient burner 'burrowed' from the Potions classroom.

At times Remus was sure he would die before the last dinner before Christmas would come about. His nose was killing him, and he desperately cursed the fact that he had no nose plugs or something to stopper his nostrils with other than bits of toilet paper. He walked most days that week in a daze, and could no longer taste the food at meals because his sense of smell had been so badly abused. He was surprised that no one in the Tower had noticed the peculiar smell that came from their dorm. He also could not express his happiness when the last day of the first term had arrived and the potion was finally ready.

The others, much less smell-sensitive than him, did not complain as much, but they were excited. Very excited. The next day would be their first school-wide prank, and even though he was rather bitter at being able to smell nothing at all, Remus could not help but be as happy as them. They would be the stars of the evening. They would make sure of that.

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The day before Christmas holiday finally arrived, bringing with it the spirit of festivities associated with the holidays. The Great Hall was bedecked with Christmas decorations, and the Christmas trees were already in place. Seeing all the preparations, Remus did not feel so bad about staying.

The four boys were closeted in their dorm that afternoon, busily readying themselves for the evening performance. They were actually supposed to be at the dungeons at that very moment, brewing yet another potion under Slughorn's orders, but decided to skive off lesson. That is, James and Sirius decided. Peter agreed rather enthusiastically, hating potions more than anything else, and Remus grudgingly consented.

"Right. Inventory," Remus said looking critically at the ink-splattered parchment in his hand. "Cans?"

"Check," Sirius replied.

"Potions within cans?"

"Check."

"Extra potion?"

"Check."

"Itching Pow- _What_ do we need Itching Powder for?"

"Check and because James and I decided it was finally time to get back at the grouchy git for getting James in trouble over nothing way back when."

"Fine, I guess - but Peter and I were not part of it if anyone asks. All right. We've got all the equipment. Now don't forget your wands when we go down to dinner. Let's go. Time's short, and if I already skived off class - which I was totally against, might I add - I want this to count."

They made their way to the kitchens with care, finding places to hide every time they heard someone coming near. They could not afford being caught by any of the staff. Ever since their discovery of the place they made frequent visits to the fantastic domain of the house elves, taking advantage of their knowledge when they had midnight cravings for sweets. They became quite friendly with Pinch and a few of the other house-elves with ease.

"Hello, Pinch, Waffle. How are you doing?" James asked urbanely the moment they stepped into the kitchens, kneeling to speak with the two eye to eye. It was one of James' more bizarre antics, Remus thought. Most pure-bloods saw house-elves as mere conveniences, not worthy of their time.

"We is fine, Master James. We is very glad seeing you here! How may Pinch be of service?" the house-elf squeaked enthusiastically. Of the four of them, he was most taken by James, who had always acted so naturally with all of them.

"We were hoping you'd do us a little favour, Pinch. Could you take these cans Remus and Sirius are holding and - well, put the contents into the pumpkin juice tonight?"

"You is sure, Master James?" Pinch asked dubiously looking at the Muggle cans they had so painstakingly obtained.

"It'll make everyone happy - trust me. No one will know you were involved, so you won't get in trouble. Can you, then?"

Charmed as he was by James, there was only one answer the house-elf could give. "Of course Pinch can, Master James. Pinch is glad to be able to help sirs!"

"Good chap! So, we'll be leaving! Thanks very much, Pinch! Oh! Before I forget! Put _this_ can-" and here he handed the small creature a larger, different can "-into the pitcher closest to Severus Snape. Can you do that?"

The elf nodded.

Remus and Sirius removed their load from their backs and the four boys walked out, all grinning widely.

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The last dinner before the holidays promised to be an extremely delicious one. The smells coming from the Hall as the four friends strode into it were practically intoxicating. They were precisely on time for dinner, something that caught many people by surprise. The four, since they had formed their friendship, worked tirelessly on their reputation which declared them to be chronically tardy. Most of the detentions they had earned in those first few months of their Hogwarts life were because of their constant tardiness. Remus had to admit that it bothered him quite a bit, and therefore did his best to either come without them, saving them seats, or to push them into hurrying up. Admittedly, the latter was much less affective. It rarely worked. He had gotten a few more detentions because of that.

Dinner started without a hitch. The normal chitchat, so characteristic to a large group of young people in the middle of a meal, erupted at the same moment the food appeared on the plates, sending puffs of delicious smells in every direction. The boys, preoccupied in the pre-prank excitement, were eating very quietly and, in Sirius and James' case, not as gustily as they normally would have - a thing very unlike them.

"Cat swallowed you tongue, cousin?" Keira asked acidly from her seat, a few places down the table.

"Whatever made you think that, cousin dear?" James replied without missing a beat, barely able to contain himself.

"You aren't very talkative today - feeling all right?" This was delivered in the typically sarcastic tone she always used when addressing James, but Remus got the strange feeling that the girl was truly concerned. This made the peculiar relationship shared by the two cousins even more interesting than usual.

James got the same vibe, it seemed, for he exclaimed "Why, Keira Palmer! Is that _concern_ I hear in your voice?" A wide smirk graced his lips at that, making Keira scowl.

She snorted in disgust and turned from him, only to turn back and ask "Did Aunt Laura tell you where's Christmas dinner this year?"

"Why would Mum tell _me_ anything about it? It's always between her and Aunt Claire isn't it?"

"Never mind. I should have known better than asking _you_."

"That you should have."

For all their obvious dislike for each other, Remus could not shake the feeling that this was all some elaborate game the two played for so long it became more of a habit than anything else. It was all for show - for the pair as well for everyone else. He wondered if there was a way in which to prove his theory.

"Psst, James!" Sirius said in a low whisper, cutting Remus' thread of thought. "Can you stop bantering with Keira and get to business? I think everyone more or less had at least one sip of 'pumpkin juice'. Either way, they shouldn't be able to trace it to the juice immediately."

James nodded, turning his back to his cousin. The four boys huddled together, sheltering the fact that they all took out their wands. Watching James' lips carefully form the words 'one, two, three' without actually pronouncing the words, Remus touched the tip of his wand with those of his friends and they all muttered together.

"_Activitia Tintium!"_

Quickly stuffing their wands back into their robes and turning away from each other, they busied themselves in eating, their eyes trained on their plates, but their ears open to the first sound of student reaction to what they had done. It did not take long. The affects of potion and spell were almost immediate, bringing with them cries of alarm and panic.

"My hair! My beautiful hair!"

"Why are your nails growing so fast? And in that _shade_!"

"Look who's talking! Your eyes are bulging out and they're _purple_!"

"My hair!"

"It's pink! All of my skin is this horrible pink!"

"Who _did_ this!"

"IT ITCHES!" This particular scream came from a certain greasy haired first year who was dancing around the Slytherin table, trying to rid himself of the horrible itch.

And then, at the very center of the Ravenclaw table, sitting by a scowling, vividly orange Andromeda Black, was a livid beyond words Kelly Palmer, who was half-standing, her knuckles white (or rather, pale green) against the table, her glaring eyes fixed on James, who, noticing the glare, cheekily toasted her with his goblet.

Remus looked up and nudged his two other friends, who were still staring at their plates, shoulders shaking with laughter. After all the trouble they had gone through, the least they could do was see the results, and so the two of them, taking Remus and James' example, picked up their eyes from their dinner and surveyed the damage. Smiling to one another, they admired their handiwork.

"I think the spell was flawed," Sirius said suddenly. "It was supposed to dye the hair - not everything else, right?"

"I think it was the potion," James mused, a thoughtful expression taking over his thin face, "not the spell."

"Yes," Remus concurred, his naturally analytic mind going directly to the root of the problem. "It has to be the potion. We didn't change the incantation - couldn't, really - but we modified the potion a bit, remember? We added six eyes of newt and seven spoons of frogspawn mush instead of half the amount - and we cut down on the salamander spit on the last minute."

"And added shredded Monkshood, too," Sirius remembered suddenly. "That wasn't in the recipe, was it?"

"No," James frowned, then grinned. "It wasn't. But it has a lovely effect - don't you think?"

"We should write it down somewhere," Peter said. "So we'll know how to do it if we'll ever need it again."

"Good thinking, Peter - we'll do it once we're in the dorm."

The four continued their private scientific analysis of the prank, oblivious to the chaos around them. That was their first mistake. The second mistake was completely ignoring McGonagall's presence when she came to check why a) They had not changed colour and b) They were sitting calmly when everyone around them was in obvious hysterics.

Their third mistake was continuing their discussion in her presence.

Finally, seeing that they were not about to notice her presence, she had had enough. She knew for sure now that it was they indeed who caused this. She need no wait any longer, she decided, and so she roared in their ears, startling them:

"POTTER! BLACK! LUPIN! PETTIGREW! A WEEK'S WORTH OF DETENTIONS FOR THE LOT OF YOU! STARTING ON THE DAY YOU COME BACK FROM CHRISTMAS!"

What McGonagall did _not_ take into account was the fact that this, in fact, was exactly what the boys wanted. With one shout she had announced to the whole hall who was responsible for this prank.

Their place as rising stars in the field of practical jokes was promised.

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James, Sirius and Peter were gone. They had left on the train in the morning and went to spend Christmas with their families. James had repeatedly invited Remus to spend the holidays with him and Sirius. Though he wanted nothing more than to agree, Remus sorrowfully declined again, avoiding James' persistent inquiries as to _why_ he would not come.

They were barely gone for two hours when Remus started regretting his decision to spend this Christmas at Hogwarts. Though he terribly wanted to see his parents again, he knew that were he to go, the moon after Christmas would be as horrible as the first one he had at Hogwarts, and, remembering the intense pain, he did not wish that to happen. He was honest enough with himself to realize that the wolf needed to get used to the new environment as soon as possible.

And so, through his own volition, Remus was left alone in a silent dorm that was so loud and happy only the day before. It was rather eerie, the way a room could change this drastically just because the occupants had changed. Feeling rather sick at the thought, Remus hurried out, opting to spend his morning in the common room, which, while quite empty, was still more cheery than his dorm.

Not many Gryffindors stayed for the holidays that year. They were twelve all in all, from all years, and each of them stayed more or less by his or herself. It was a little strange, but he supposed that people who stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays, like him, must have an unhappy reason to stay.

At lunch Remus sat alone at the very end of the Gryffindor table, where he usually sat with his friends. He was playing with his food, making shapes with it on his plate. He was not all that hungry.

"Hello," someone said from behind him unexpectedly.

He was startled out of his pleasant idleness, almost jumping out of his seat, not believing that he was so distracted that he had not heard the intruder coming. Turning, he recognized said intruder immediately. Behind him was one of the girls from the Evans Crowd - the pretty blonde girl with the brown eyes, one of the twins.

"Erm. Hi," he replied hesitantly. Though in the same House and the same year, the boys and girls, being still at _that_ age, did not mingle a lot, and therefore he did not know much on her aside of a vague recollection that her name was Rowena.

"I'm Rowena," she said, confirming his thought. "Rowena Carn. Would you like to sit with me and my sister? Only you seem a bit lonely and I thought - as we're all Gryffindors and first years…" She trailed off, now trifle uncertain as he only stared at her.

Her sister was the sickly looking girl with the reddish-brown hair whose name was Wren. She was sitting a little ways away from him and gave him a shy smile as he glanced her way.

"I… I guess so," he finally said, deciding that it was better risking a botched attempt at befriending someone than spending the entire holidays brooding alone in his dorm.

"Okay, then," Rowena said with a charming smile, obviously relieved. "Would you like me to call Wren here, or will you come down our way?"

"I'll come."

It turned out that Rowena and Wren were half-blooded, but that both their parents were magic. They were estranged from their Muggle relatives, but not because the Muggles were against magic. As they explained it, their mother simply did not get along with her parents and therefore only came to a visit when it was completely obligatory. They were twins and did almost everything together. They stayed at Hogwarts that year because their parents, a healer and a Ministry clerk, had gone on a well-earned vacation to the Caribbean, promising to take them to France during the summer if they were to stay at Hogwarts.

There were some subtle (and some not so subtle) differences between the two, he soon noticed. It was obvious to anyone with a working pair of eyes that Rowena worshipped the ground on which Wren stood. She would dote on her sister and do anything she could to make her smile.

Wren, though she could have turned into a monster with her sister dancing about her, was a very self-effacing person, quiet and shy. She would hide in her sister's shadow whenever possible, feeling safe and protected there.

Rowena was happy and extrovert. She would skip and jump and sing for all she was worth when the mood struck her, and as it turned out, Christmas caroling was her favourite occupation during the holidays.

Wren was often melancholy and introvert. She was a quiet, studious girl who spoke little and smiled even less.

Other than that, though, the one could always know what the other was thinking about and they could babble for _hours_ on end, discussing "girly" things - and Remus, as much as he was the gentleman among the Gryffindor boys of the first year, was soon driven away to search after his own amusements.

That was how he discovered Wizards' Chess.

One of the older students remaining in the Tower was a cheery fourth year called Frank Longbottom, who played Chaser on the Quidditch team. No one from his year stayed for the holidays, and so, as he perceived Remus to be just as lonely and infinitely bored, he offered to teach him how to play Wizards' Chess.

Between light chats with the twins and furious chess matches with Frank, Christmas holidays flew by, and before he even noticed, it was time for his friends to come back to school.

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He was sitting in the common room on the evening of the students' return, reading the book about werewolves his mother had gotten him before he had entered Hogwarts (with all the mess he and his friends had caused he had precious little time to finish it) when the portrait hole swung open and an excited voice half-shouted:

"Just wait 'til we tell him! He'd _love_ that, I bet!"

James, Peter and Sirius were back, with a whole load of new prank ideas - and, as it turned out, the ideal Christmas gift for a professional prankster.

Sirius spotted Remus immediately and called "Remus! Boy, we have a surprise for you! You wouldn't _guess_ what James got for Christmas! It's an-"

In a rush, James ran to Sirius' side and clapped his hand to his mouth - then quickly withdrew it in disgust, glaring at his friend. By the streak on his hand that sparkled in the light, Sirius had just licked his palm.

"Yuck!" James caught Sirius and wiped his palm on his robes. "You disgusting git! Now I've got your saliva on my hand!"

"Then you shouldn't have done that," Sirius retorted.

"I _had_ to! You were about to shout it to the whole common room! Let's go up to the dorm."

Not giving Remus a moment to resist, the three boys pulled him out of his chair and pushed him up the boys' staircase, hurrying to the dorm. Once the door was shut and locked behind them, he turned to face them, scowling.

Rather ticked, he asked "What? What's so important that you won't even let me use my own legs?"

"Good to see you, too, Remus!" Sirius said cheerfully. "C'mon, James! Show him! Show him!"

"Okay, okay!" James laughed, opening his trunk, and pulled out a silvery piece of cloth. Without a word, he wrapped it around his short and wiry body and then - there was no James.

"_James!_" Remus cried in alarm, not at all prepared for that.

There was a chuckle coming from the place once containing his messy-haired friend. With a swish of cloth James was standing in front of him once more, holding the silvery cloth loose in his hands.

"An invisibility cloak," Remus whispered in awe. "Where did you get it?" Invisibility Cloaks were extremely rare and unbelievingly expensive. To be able to afford such a thing, James had to be _very_ rich.

"My dad gave it to me for Christmas," James replied gleefully. "He said it's been in the family for ages and he hopes I'll use it well! That's practically giving me permission to sneak out and get in trouble - and he knows it! Merlin, I love my dad."

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It was only about three days after everyone had returned from Christmas that Sirius had had the chance to hear what had happened during the holidays in his house. Over those days, whenever the four first years had seen Sirius' cousin, she looked somehow both lighthearted and strangely sad. Sirius, who had kept a close watch on his favourite cousin, had noted that Narcissa was being nastier to her than ever, and so, curious as to the reason why, dragging his friends with him, cornered the seventh year Ravenclaw over lunch break.

"So did Cissy tattle?" he asked Andromeda, planting himself in front of her.

"Did she ever…" the older girl sighed, shaking her head. "Not only did she tattle, she kept it quiet - waited until the entire family was congregated at Grimmauld Place and _then_ let it out for everyone to hear. I don't think I've ever been in such a fix in my _life_."

"What did Mum do?"

"Dear Auntie? She gave me the worst dressing-down I've ever gotten," she sighed, moving a hand through her disheveled hair. "Talked about family duties and honour and filthy mudbloods and whatnot. Then she wrapped it all up with what a disgrace I was and that she wanted me out of her house until I reconsider all I've done and get rid of Ted. What a mess…"

"I'd say," he said with concern that Remus found very strange in his friend's voice. "So what did you do?"

"The only thing I _could_ have done. I left. I left and went to Ted's house. His parents were rather delighted to meet me, even if I do say so myself." She smiled at that and ruffled her cousin's hair, making him scowl. "So in essence, you haven't missed anything. Does that make you feel better?"

"A little," Sirius grinned. "But I really had a great time at the Potters'. How was it with Ted's family?"

"It was… great fun, actually," she smiled. "His parents are lovely, and I went out for a snowball fight with Ted and his little sisters, and it was absolutely great. Back home you were the only one who would do snowball war with me, and since you were missing and I was kicked out… I'm sorry I didn't tell them about Ted earlier - then I may have been able to move out of the house during the summer."

"We all have regrets, I suppose, but all well that ends well, right? Uncle Alphard keeps telling that to me whenever he catches me away from Mum."

"He would."

The two cousins grinned at each other and then laughed.

"You're a good boy, Sirius. Make sure you stay just that," she said, ruffling his hair. Then, avoiding a kick from him, walked away, laughing.

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Time had passed quickly and mostly pleasantly for Remus during the months following Christmas. It was almost startling, the way Easter seemed to thunder towards them.

Putting James' cloak to good use, the four boys started building their reputation. In those early stages, that very first year of their mischief-making, the victims of their pranks were mostly Gryffindors and the pranks themselves were mostly harmless. The regular focus of their pranks was the Evans Crowd, for they both enjoyed eliciting the girls' anger and the Crowd being their most accessible victims, seeing them every day, all day.

Among their plots was colouring the entire Tower male population's hair scarlet and gold (they discovered quite early on that the girls' stairs would not let them in) in honour of the Quidditch match against Ravenclaw (they lost abysmally, but never mind that), finding, after a long, strenuous research an easy enough potion that caused its drinker to hiccup for a whole hour and then sampling it on some unsuspecting sixth year, putting sticking charms on a few armchairs in the common room and waiting to see the results, not to speak of a dozen other little mischievous deeds, mostly done by James and Sirius. Remus usually volunteered to keep and eye out for figures of authority such as Prefects and Keira.

Aside of those Gryffindor-targeted ploys, there were a few other school-wide ones, including a very carefully conducted water-filled balloons assault on the unsuspecting seventh years, which was aimed specifically at Kelly and Andromeda. While Sirius' cousin took it in good grace, laughing along with everyone else, Kelly had shouted herself hoarse at _her_ cousin, ending it with landing the smirking boy in detention, which got the approval of some teachers, but also landed _her_ in detention for shouting in the corridors.

They had all concluded it as a very successful piece of work.

That was all they could have done, as they were only innocent ickle firsties - or so they maintained. This, however, was the very foundation on which - in later years - they will form the most dreaded pranks ever to be seen in Hogwarts.

Simultaneously, Remus became much surer of himself than he had ever been. He had friends, he was wrecking havoc in school, losing and earning points (luckily the points he earned covered by far for those he lost), and generally having fun.

He was so busy having fun, in fact that he almost forgot about the full moons. And so it was that in March, for the fifth time in a row (he did not include the one on New Year's Eve, because his friends were not there to notice), he failed to find a liable excuse for missing two days of class.

He used the Sick Mother excuse again, and from the suspicious glances he got from both James and Sirius, he gathered they did not wholly believe him.

Meanwhile, even though the boys were not aware of it at the time, a shadow of dread spread over the Wizarding World. A fear that must not be named; a dark lord had risen, rumoured to be Grindelwald's equal.

It was not obvious at first. A witch disappeared here - a wizard was found dead there. Minor reports of centralized Dark activities, but nothing to point anything major. Nothing to point that the Wizarding world was about to face the worst years of its existence.

The authorities said it was no problem at first. Just a chance lunatic who dabbled in the Dark Arts, a weird individual who will be soon caught and put under the care of the guards of Azkaban.

How wrong they were.

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Almost as though no time had passed, the end of the year came hurtling at Remus. He could not believe that he had completed a whole year at Hogwarts and furthermore, that he had not been marked as a werewolf in its duration.

All four boys had passed their exams, though Peter's marks were average mostly. Though he was certain James and Sirius had not even lifted a book, much less studied for any exam, they had passed easily - receiving the highest marks in their year, tying with Evans (of which James had said in disgust "Who would have imagined that fire-breather had half a brain?"). However, for all he knew, they could have studied at night while he was asleep, cramming spells and facts into their minds when no one could see. He highly doubted it, though, usually being the last to fall asleep and the first to wake. As for him, he scored high marks as well, not far behind his two brilliant friends. He was greatly relieved; sure that he would make his parents proud.

As a goodbye present for Kelly, as James had called it, they had executed an end-of-year prank in her honour on the very last evening of that year, exploding a whole crate of mail-ordered fireworks in the Great Hall that created a lion tying a knot in a serpent and then hurling it about. Upon releasing it, the whole thing exploded into bright sparks that faded inches over the teachers' heads. It had cost quite a bit, the specific-order-fireworks, but the four felt it was well worth it.

Needless to say, neither the Slytherins nor the Head Girl was much amused.

They spent the train ride back to Platform Nine and Three Quarters playing Exploding Snap and making summer plans. Like the trip to Hogwarts, almost ten months before, Remus enjoyed it immensely, and as they drew nearer to London, he realized that he could not wait to start another year at Hogwarts, and that there was nothing better than having friends. At that thought he felt a pang of regret at lying to them, but he smothered it, sternly telling himself that if they would know they would no longer be his friends.

As he stepped off the train, bidding his friends goodbye and searching for his mother whom he knew would be waiting, he suddenly felt something crack inside him, and his elation at the fun trip abated. He was going to spend another lonely summer. Even if he will be able to go and see his friends once in a while, it just would not be the same.

The thought disappeared, however, when a woman's voice cried "Oh, Remus!" and his mother's arms were wrapped around him, and she was crying and saying how much she had missed him.

_Well,_ Remus thought. _I'd better not dwell on it now. Time enough to solve that particular problem…_

And so he hugged his mother back and pushed those errant thoughts away. He would soon be home.

**This is it for this week! Now what would happen over the summer? Would the wheels start turning in the others' heads? All this and more - next Sunday!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	5. Under Suspicion

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Hello, everyone! I know that this chapter was supposed to be uploaded only tomorrow (according to my improved schedule), but, as luck had it, I have computer problems, and tomorrow I shall be computerless, due to the fact that the thing will be taken somewhere to get fixed. Technology - can't live with it, can't live without it…

In any case, this chapter is short. Very short. Comparing to the _very_ long fourth chapter, it is tiny. The reason for that is that this is a sort of an **interlude** - a summer-only chapter, and a rather boring summer for Remus at that. It will also contain non-Remus PoV - hope you like! I promise that next chapter would once again increase in volume, and that the next summers would not be as slow for our favourite boys.

Thank you to all those who reviewed, even if I neglected answering you personally for some reason!

Enjoy!

**p.s.** one last thing! Please read the comment at the end of the chapter - I'm pretty sure you'll like it!

**Chapter 5 - Under Suspicion**

The summer was just as dull as Remus had imagined it would be. There was no reason for it not to be so. After the excitement of his very first school year, the pranks played and the activeness of Sirius and James who both seemed unable to sit for one moment in silence, his summer was so slow in comparison, when all he had to do was help his mother around the house or out in the garden, his only trip out being an occasional visit to his Muggle grandfather, who knew nothing of his lycanthropy.

In previous years, when he still went to the Muggle primary school, the summer holidays were the thing he had most anticipated. But that was then, when people resented him because he was so withdrawn and into books. Even if the Muggles did not know he was a werewolf, they could still sense that there was something different - _wrong_ - about him, and kept their distance. The few who had discovered his condition by chance, got their memory modified, and still retained the sense of not liking him.

This year it was different. The prospect of going home for the summer was ambiguous at best, daunting at worst. On one hand, the fact that summer had arrived meant that he had completed a whole year of education without being discovered. On the other, it also meant that he would most likely not see his friends for the next two months, and that was a very bad prospect as far as he was concerned. He knew he would become bored with the house in days, especially since both his parents were always hard at work and only at home in the evenings.

He got constant owls from his new friends, that much was true, and he had sent equal amounts of letters back, but that was simply not the same as having them around, joking with them and playing pranks on unsuspecting bystanders. He missed their mere presence, the way they could find reasons to have fun even in the bleakest of days.

His mother and father were thrilled to find that he had made friends with no apparent trouble, especially since he had always been introverted, but one day, after he had finished giving them the details of one of their ingenious pranks, his mother pulled him aside.

"Remus," she started, and then halted for what seemed like forever. His heart stopped. Whenever she used _that_ tone, something was awry. He did not want to know what she had in mind. Whatever it was, it most likely was bad for him. He would not be able to handle it if she would say that he could not keep his friends because they had bad influence on him or something of the sort.

Oblivious to his thoughts, she took a deep breath, then continued, her smile forced, "Remus, dear, I know how important these friends of yours are to you, but are you sure you are being… careful?"

He looked at her reproachfully, though inside his heart thumped wildly. "Mum," he said, "I've been dealing with this business for quite a few years. I learned by now how important it is for me to hide my lycanthropy. You really should stop worrying." He saw, however, what little effect these words had on his mother, and so he sighed. "Yes, Mum. I am being very careful. My friends have absolutely no idea about my situation, and I intend on keeping it this way."

She half-smiled in relief. "Thank Merlin I have such a good boy," she said and ruffled his hair. "Go finish your dinner, dear."

He no longer had an appetite, and the high spirit that always seemed to possess him whenever he was recounting his adventures at Hogwarts faded into nothing. He felt bad telling his mother a lie. He had _not_ been careful as he should have been, as only he could know. He guessed that by now James - and maybe Sirius - already knew something was wrong with him. Just his luck to start a friendship with the two most brilliant people he had ever met. If they did not figure it out, he would be immeasurably lucky.

It was harder than he had expected, spending so much time with people and yet managing not to let on his secret. His friends were worried about him every time he had to go and 'visit his sick mother', and by the way they had frowned each time he mentioned his excuse, he knew they were no longer buying it. He just hoped that they would never _really_ realize what was wrong with him. He could not bear to lose them. That much he _did _know.

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On the next owl from James came an invitation to his house. Remus was very excited to be invited for the first time in his life to someone's house, and for a whole weekend no less. His excitement lasted right up until his father returned from work and with a chagrined expression gently reminded him that the date on which he was invited to the Potters' was a full moon, the day before it and the day after it. Remus could not believe he had forgotten it. The most central fact of his life, and he had entirely forgotten about it.

Very depressed and angry at himself for giving himself false hope, he had to send his owl, Zephyr, carrying a short letter back to James, informing him very succinctly and dispassionately, that as much as Remus would love joining him and their other friends, he simply could not - not on that date, anyway.

James had written back, saying that it was all right, and that Peter could only come for the one day, anyway, so it would be just him and Sirius. He should not feel bad for not being able to come, James had stressed, then filling the rest of the letter with funny anecdotes which did wonders to lift Remus' spirit. It was as though James knew exactly how down Remus really was and did his best to help, even though he was far away.

Another invitation came on August - this time from Peter, who had excitedly and in his haphazard style informed him he had obtained his mother's permission to have his friends over for a few days. They were meeting - this time all three of them - and wondered whether he could come as well this time.

Upon seeing the date, this time conscious of his vital calendar, Remus' heart sank yet again. Fate was against him. She had personally decided to haunt him and make every good thing in his life sour. It was on a full moon. Again. Just his luck.

This time, he gave a much lengthier reply, explaining that his mother was much better and that she wanted to take him on a trip on that selfsame date, so they would not even be at home at that specified time. He sent his sincerest regrets and told his friend that next time he would surely come, maybe even invite them to his place.

Later on, when the results of that summer's gathering of the three others would roll by, he would decide that he should have had known better than to use the Sick Mother Excuse again. In his mind he would almost be certain that this was the thing that finally triggered his best friends' brains and caused them to start mulling over his absences in a serious manner.

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"He's hiding something," James said with so much certainty that the other two had to stop chasing the Pettigrews' poor geese around. The three boys spent the past three days at Peter's, all rather bored of being alone at home, or unhappy for a myriad of other reasons.

"Remus?" Sirius asked, glaring at the white goose who had just escaped his grip, bestowing him with a bite in the process. "Why should he hide anything? And what brought this on all of a sudden?"

The three boys were amusing themselves by futilely attempting to catch one of the geese Mrs. Pettigrew had been raising for years. They were at it for over an hour, making much noise and turning Mrs. Pettigrew's meticulous back garden into a mess. It proved much harder than it seemed to begin with. They also sustained quite a few bites each, not to speak of the mud they had accumulated on their shoes and clothes. It appeared, however, as though James wanted to pull their attention away from their frustrating occupation.

"Well, it's just that every time we plan a get-together he suddenly can't come. And he said his mother's 'getting better' - nonsense if you ask me. I was watching when we got off the train back in June. His mum was the one to pick him up - fine and dandy as you please. That was no sick woman, I tell you. In fact, I'm pretty sure all the other times he told us she was sick were plain excuses for something else."

"Maybe it was his older sister or something who had picked him up. Maybe that was what he was hiding from us," Peter suggested.

James snorted. "Please, Peter, don't give me that. Besides, I heard him saying 'Mum, I missed you so much. How is Dad?' She was _not_ his older sister, or aunt, or cousin or anything but his mum."

"So what you are saying is that he's been lying to us all year when he said he was going to visit his mum?"

"YES!" the short boy said in an agitated tone, thumping his foot against the ground in a gesture of impatience and irritation.

"Calm down, James," Sirius said in amusement. "So if you don't think his mum is truly ill - what _do_ you think?"

"I don't know!" James said, pacing back and forth, his hands flailing as he did. "What I _do_ know is that I want to know what's bothering Remus and what is he hiding from us. It obviously bothers him. Can we solve it?"

"Probably. We're brilliant," Sirius said with no trace of modesty.

"There has to be a pattern somewhere - he's been disappearing every single month, if I'm not very much mistaken."

"How about we go to my room and discuss it there? It's getting hot here and I don't think the geese are any close to catching," Peter suggested, wiping his sweaty forehead.

They walked into the Pettigrew residence, a three-storied construction that was cleaned and scrubbed into perfection (Mrs. Pettigrew would most certainly throw a fit when she would see the tracks of mud they left on her fit-to-eat-from floors), and clambered noisily up to the third floor and to Peter's bedroom where they crashed on the floor that was littered with sweet wrappers and clothes, the marks of three boys living in the same space for more than a day.

Thank goodness that Peter's neat-freak of a mother did not yet venture in.

"All right," Sirius said, his expression much more sober than before. "He goes every month somewhere, right?" He pulled a random piece of parchment off Peter's desk, an inkwell and a quill, and then wrote down _'Gone every month_' in his trademark untidy scrawl.

"Before he disappears he's pale," Peter added.

"And detached of reality," James supplied.

"Is that even a word?"

"I think so. Did you write it down, Sirius?"

"Yes. I hope I spelled it right. Anyway, he looks ill, too."

"And too weak to join us in pranks."

"And then he doesn't come back for two or three days at a time."

"Right. So maybe there's a pattern there? What do you think?"

"How about we try and remember on which dates he was missing?" Peter suggested.

"How do we do that?" James frowned. "It's a whole year of disappearances."

"Well, I remember the last time was a week after our Charms exam - right before the end of the year, which I thought rather bizarre, myself."

Sirius' forehead creased in concentration. "Yes, it _was_ quite unusual. The exam was on the… nineteenth of June, if my memory doesn't deceive me. So… the twenty sixth?"

"Yeah," James affirmed. "Then there was the first time, on the very first week of school right after... err…"

He looked a little embarrassed and did not meet Sirius' eyes.

"Right after the Howler from my mum," Sirius supplied quietly. "The very same day, if I'm not very much mistaken. It was the day of our first detention - with… was it Filch? - too."

"Ah, yes! The one you skived off!" James' embarrassment cleared as though it had never been there, and he grinned widely. "A memorable day, my friend! September fifth, I do believe."

Soon enough, assisted by the notes dug out from Peter's trunk (for he only took orderly notes on the days Remus was absent) and memorable events (mainly pranks), they managed to map more or less all the dates of Remus' strange disappearances. They had made a tidy list, intent of discovering what was wrong with their friend before summer would end.

When it was time for Sirius and James to depart, James took the list home with him. His father had so many objects of interest, many of them bizarre and obscure. He thought that maybe the older man could help them with discovering what exactly was wrong with their friend.

Two days later, both Sirius and Peter received a letter from him. It was succinct and to the point, bringing them the answer they were looking for. It read:

"_Sirius and Peter,_

"_I have news for the both of you, though I cannot be certain how well you will take it. It is a rather controversial matter._

"_Yesterday I showed the list to my dad. He took one look at it and said that if the 27th of April was the 28th, then he would say that this was a list of this year's full moons. As we all know full-well, the 27th of April was one of the dates we weren't so sure of, so we might as well assume that Remus was missing on the 28th._

"_I believe we all know what the meaning of our friend's disappearances is if my dad is correct. I have no reason to doubt that he is right. He had spent many of his years as an Auror researching so-called Dark Creatures._

"_Now remains the question of how do we ask him if we are correct about this. He has a reason for not telling us. Maybe he thinks that we'll stop being his friends. Dad says that people usually shun Remus' kind._

"_I for one am not going to stop being his friend, and I want to know if you feel the same. I am going to confront him on September 1st and explain all this to him._

"_Awaiting your reply,_

"_James_."

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September first could not have come any faster for Remus. The last week of August he had spent in such an agitated mood, that his parents actively avoided him when they were home. They did not know how to calm him, for they did not know what was bothering him, and he was never one to tell. Though both James and Sirius had owled him, asking him if he wanted to join them for school shopping at Diagon Alley, his mother did not want him to go by himself, and therefore he had missed seeing them yet again.

When his mother dropped him off at the train station on the appointed day, he hastily pecked her on the cheek, gave her a big hug and then hurried off, telling her there was no need for her to walk him through the barrier this time, and to give his love to his father.

He broke through the barrier in a bit of a run - he was still afraid it might prove stone solid. An unfounded fear, but a human one all the same.

The platform was full of its usual hubbub. Students bidding goodbye to anxious parents, as others called to friends. Some first years were crying in panic. He remembered his own apprehension the year before and smiled at them encouragingly. A small girl even smiled back at him tearfully. It made him feel much better.

He looked around. For the first time in what seemed like ages he was glad of his height. He could see much more of the platform than he would have had he been shorter. Tall or short, though, there was no trace of his three friends. It was as though they had never existed.

Rather dismayed, he turned to board the train. He was almost at one of the doors when a voice called "Remus! Remus! Over here! Move your lazy arse over here! We've been waiting for you!"

He whirled to look in the direction of the voice. From the door of one of the cars to the left, Sirius Black was waving frantically at him, attempting to catch his eye. With a sigh of relief he headed there, dragging his cluttering trunk along, narrowly avoiding being hit by an older student in his hurry.

"Here," Sirius said, jumping off the train. "Let me help you with that trunk. Oy, James! C'mere and lend us a hand!"

And there was James, tumbling out of the door after Sirius, still short, with hair messier than ever. The three of them easily hefted the trunk up onto the train and put it in a luggage rack, all the time exchanging greetings and, in James' case, amusing anecdotes from their summers. Then they went - Sirius in the lead - into a compartment in the same car, where Peter was patiently waiting, the last of his summer homework lying half-finished beside him. Absently, Remus noted that it was the same compartment in which he had sat all alone exactly a year before when a bespectacled boy had burst unannounced into his life.

"Hello, Remus," the chubby boy greeted with a smile. But even though the friendly smile was plainly there to see, there was something very formal about Peter's greeting.

"Hey, Peter. What's up?"

He received no answer but for the sound of James muttering a locking charm on the compartment's door. They were not supposed to know that charm - but they never did obey the rules. He looked at his friends nervously. They all wore grim expressions. He did not like it at all.

"What's wrong? James? Sirius? Peter?"

"We wanted to talk to you about something, Remus," James said in what, to Remus' ears, was a very adult sort of tone.

"Go ahead."

"The others and I, we were thinking. When we got your owl saying you couldn't come because of your mother's illness or something after that fashion, a few wheels started turning in our heads."

Remus stared at him. He had a bad feeling about all this. James was stalling and the things he was saying sounded very foreboding. "And?" he gulped, somehow feeling as though nothing would be the same again.

"We know you're a werewolf."

**I know, I know! I'm evil - please don't hate me! ((ducks)) ((peers to see if there are any rotten tomatoes flying from the direction of the crowd)) Yes, I know people hate cliffies, BUT! As I said at the A/N at the beginning - I think you'll like what I have to say next.**

**Due to the early update (and the fact that this update is very short), I've decided to update _again_ on Wednesday, and then the next one would be back on Sunday.**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	6. Now That They Know

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Welcome one and all to my special Wednesday update! Are you excited? Do you still want to pelt me with all things rotten for leaving you with such a cliffie? I promise that there isn't much of a one in this chapter - so please reconsider it if you had any intention of causing me bodily harm!

Yes, yes, as you can all see I am in a very happy mood today, and that is because I have finished, for the first time in my life, a novel length story! My Founders fic is nicely complete, and I am ecstatic about it.

Back to business, though. As promised, this chapter goes back to the 12+ pages average and contains a bit more action, evil Blacks and the way to annoy the hell out of them, a little bit of James versus Lily and quite a bit of confused Remus. Hope you like!

Oh, and before you ask, Lily appears very little until the fourth year, and only seriously becomes a main character in fifth year. I still don't know how many chapters this is going to be (the original version only ever went as far as fifth year), but I am planning on a 30+ or perhaps 40 chapters (though that may be a little long). I'll tell you when I know for sure.

Now read on and enjoy!

**Chapter Six - Now That They Know**

Remus froze in his seat, unable to say anything, unable to move. He did _not_ just hear that. He simply did not. James did not just utter those fatal words. It was unthinkable. Inconceivable. This was not happening to him - not now that he finally had friends and, for the first time in his life, was actually _happy_. But the looks on his friends' faces told him otherwise. He had heard it after all, and the weight of it was unbearable. Everything came crushing down on him. He looked down, blinking hard, trying to stop the prickling in his eyes, but to no avail. Tears that had been left unshed for so many years started splashing down his cheeks. He had thought he would never cry again. He had been wrong.

He got up, the tears now flowing freely on his pale face. He could not care enough to attempt stopping them or even wipe them away. His life was in ruins.

"Where are you going?" Sirius demanded, looking alarmed. James and Peter also looked up, startled.

"To another compartment," he choked, the words coming out with difficulty. "I'll ask Professor Dumbledore whether I can have a room for myself and I'll be-"

"What on _earth_ are you talking about, Remus?" James asked, his eyes wide.

"No one wants to hang around a werewolf - I know that. No need to fear my staying in your dorm. I'll make sure to be out this evening. You won't have to suffer my presence any moment longer."

James and Sirius exchanged glances and as one got up, took hold of Remus' slumped shoulders and forced him down.

"We didn't tell you we know so that you'll go away, Moony," James said angrily.

"Moony?" Remus asked weakly. Peter and Sirius also looked at James. Apparently this was not something they had planned.

The boy shrugged, a small smile gracing his lips. "It seemed right for some reason. You know - werewolf - Moon, Moon - Moony. It's been running around in my head for the past couple of weeks. Anyway, Moony, get it into your head - whatever anyone told you about people… err… _shunning_ werewolves - we're different. We don't care. We want to remain your friends and…" He glanced at Peter and Sirius, who nodded "And we want to help you."

"Help me? How exactly? There is no cure to lycanthropy."

The other three looked confused at the long word.

"Werewolf transformation," he clarified. Instant looks of understanding spread on the others' faces.

"We know there isn't a cure," Peter said, speaking for the first time since James' declaration. "We did a bit of research in James' library at home - You would have enjoyed that thing, Moony - piles upon piles of _books_. But we figured maybe there's a way we can make things easier for you."

Sirius shuddered. "I never want to go into a library again. That week was the longest time I've ever spent with so many - you know… things, with… lots of paper?"

"Books?" Remus hazarded, finding the tears that welled up in his eyes gone.

"Yeah. _Books_," Sirius shuddered again.

Remus understood now that his friends were trying to make him feel better - and he was surprised to see that they had actually managed it. He grinned at them. "Thanks."

Three grins answered his own. "No problem, _Moony_."

Their return to Hogwarts was spent in cheerful planning of a list of pranks for that year. They did not plan it by the smallest details, but they had fun thinking up the craziest ideas they could. Enjoying themselves so much, they hardly felt the time go by, only stopping when the lady with the trolley stopped by their compartment. This time they were not interrupted by annoying relatives or acquaintances.

By the time they were off the train, several hours later, Remus had already gotten used to his new nickname, since they called him nothing but Moony. It was as though they had never known he was called Remus. It even secretly amused him, though he only admitted it to himself. James spoke true. It _did_ sound just right.

_Moony_.

Stepping down to the platform, they followed the rest of the student body to where carriages with their shafts hanging in empty air were waiting, stopping only for a moment on the way to say hello to Hagrid who was performing his start-of-year duty, leading the first years to the boats that would take them to Hogwarts via the lake.

"No causin' trouble this year, eh, yer four?" the giant man told them, winking.

"Whatever made you even consider that, Hagrid?" Sirius asked innocently. "Trouble? Us?"

And they climbed into one of the carriages, all four laughing.

"I wonder what pulls these things," Remus mused aloud as the carriage started moving, trying to poke his head out of the carriage's window and take a better look at the empty space in front of it.

"A horse covered with an invisibility cloak?" Peter suggested, sounding dubious.

"Get real, Peter," Sirius snorted. "Why would anyone waste a good invisibility cloak on a _horse_ - let alone so many of them?"

The other boy glared at him, suddenly determined to prove his tentative theory right. "Let's see _you_ think of a better reason."

"Okay. I'm up to the challenge if you are! Cornish pixies!"

"They're not invisible!"

"They could be charmed."

"So could the horses!"

"Why would you want to charm horses invisible?"

"Why would you want to charm _Cornish Pixies_ invisible?"

Remus and James exchanged amused glances as they listened to the argument.

"So how was your summer?" James suddenly asked, turning away from the bickering duo, laughter in his eyes.

Remus sighed. "Dull, boring, tedious, dull, dreary, unexciting, monotonous, dull, mind-numbingly tiresome - oh! And did a mention _dull_?"

James laughed, raising his hands in surrender. "All right, I get the picture. I'm sorry you couldn't come this year. Next summer we'll schedule things so they won't fall on full moons, okay?"

"That would be fantastic," he said in gratitude, the last dregs of anxiety that did not disappear during the train ride slowly fading entirely. He still could not believe this was happening, however. His friends now knew he had lied to them for a whole year, and more than that, they knew what he was. And they did not care. That was what amazed him the most. _They did not care_.

In the background, Peter and Sirius were still at each other's throats, completely oblivious to James and Remus who watched them in amusement.

"But if you can charm bloody pixies, you might as well charm something more practical - like horses!"

"Of _course_ you could go for practical - but this is Hogwarts - _nothing_ is practical here - that's why it should be _pixies_!"

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"Should we do it now?" Sirius asked his fellow conspirators in a very low voice, keeping a wary eye on the staff table.

Remus shook his head decisively. "I don't think so. It should be done at the very moment he's about to declare the start of the feast - plus, we need James for this, and he's busy." All three boys glanced at the fourth member of their group, who was at the moment completely oblivious to what they were saying.

They were seated next to the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, watching the last of the first years being sorted, discussing the timing of their first prank for their second year. Remus had to admit that it was rather funny seeing how nervous those poor first years were. The others seemed to think the same way and commented about it loudly. James, however, was having a furious whispered conversation with his cousin, Keira, who was scowling at him.

"-Just don't get you! On one hand you're all against it - and then you're telling me you've done it by yourself! That was one low trick, Keira!"

"As if you even cared! You were quite happy to get all the credit! Mum should have given _me_ the extra Sickles! _I _was the one who did all the work!"

"And it's like you have any shortage of pocket money - now have you? Besides, it was my idea to begin with!"

"What are you on about! _I_ thought it up!"

"Your mum isn't here now, so you can drop the bleeding act - or did you convince yourself so well that it was your idea? You're a rotten liar, Keira!"

"Oh, why don't you cut the crap, James? We both know very well-"

But she did not get to finish her sentence, because at that very moment Professor Dumbledore got up from his seat, smiling benevolently at all his students, and the Hall turned quiet as it always did when the Headmaster was about to speak.

"Now?" Remus asked, catching the disgruntled James' attention.

He brightened considerably, turning away from the brown-haired girl. "Now."

That was all they needed. Sirius grinned and they all watched as Remus took out his wand and muttered an incredibly complex-sounding incantation in a low whisper as to not be caught by anyone.

"-and since I see you are all on the edge of your seats, craving for food - let the feast begin!" Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

Food appeared on the plates, but not one student moved. All eyes remained fixed on the Headmaster. Remus had to stifle a laugh as he watched Dumbledore frowning at his students' strange behaviour. For a moment, though, he could have sworn the old man winked in the quartet's direction. It was only for a splinter of a second however, and so later he would doubt it had even happened. A moment later, Dumbledore looked down at himself and made a great show of surprise.

One of Albus Dumbledore's most notable characteristics was his silvery, long beard. It made him look venerable and distinguished, as well as speaking of his considerable age. That evening, however, it was no longer silver.

It flashed scarlet and gold.

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Though McGonagall had stared at them pointedly several times the next day - whenever they were in her line of sight, in fact - no one had openly accused the four second year Gryffindors of daring to play a prank on the Headmaster (again). Sirius and James appeared to be very smug and proud of themselves, but they did not admit being the culprits. They only ever discussed the matter in the privacy of their dorm, and even then it was only in passing remarks while planning new and more daring practical jokes.

A few days later, when they were making their way from the Great Hall where they just had lunch to the Dungeons, where they were supposed to have their Potions lesson, Remus noticed that James was looking a little preoccupied. It was not that he did not do that often, his mind wandering away with a dozen different thoughts that vied for his attention at the same time, but this was different.

The black-haired boy was glancing around him quite frequently and seemed to be muttering to himself. There was a frown fixed on his brow and it looked as though he was trying to figure something out but just could not put his finger on it.

Remus nudged him. "A Sickle for your thoughts?"

James shook himself out of his daze, focusing on his friend, his expression clearing almost at once. "What? Oh. I wasn't really… well, it's just that - have any of you noticed that we really don't know where to go around here? I mean, there _must_ be a shorter way to get to the Potions classroom from the Great Hall, or from Potions classroom up to Charms classroom. It can't be _this_ complicated, now can it? Why isn't anyone giving us a map of this place instead of making us late for classes? I don't know about you, but I think this little place may have rooms and corridors that no one knows about!"

"Are my ears full of wax?" Sirius butted in, an expression of mock-horror on his face. "Or have I just heard James _Potter_ being all fussy about being late to class?"

James gave him a disgusted glare and then started speaking at a high speed again, waving his hands at various points to emphasis what he was saying. "Don't be ridiculous, Sirius. Let me see if I can make you see _my_ view of things, shall we? Thank you, I appreciate your cooperation. This place is a thousand years old or so, isn't it? It's huge, it's magical, and it most certainly changes, as we can see every day when staircases suddenly don't lead us to where they're supposed to and doors do not open. Look at it this way, my ignorant friend: if there are places here that no one remembers anymore because things have changed or were simply forgotten, and we set ourselves to be the greatest pranksters of all times - shouldn't we _find_ these places and make good use of them?"

Once his mind went through the whole speech and processed its meaning, comprehension dawned on Sirius' face, followed by a _very_ evil grin. "I'm feeling a plan forming in your mind, my friend."

"A map?" Remus offered, quickly catching up with his two friends, determined not to be left behind. The fact that they had remained with him despite his condition had made him slightly more daring than before.

"Not just any map, mate," James said, his eyes twinkling. "We-" he pointed the other three boys "-are going to explore this castle from top to bottom - even if it takes us all of our years in this school to do so, and by the time we are finished - there won't be a safe place in this castle into which we can't get! Think about it! We already discovered the kitchens - which's doorstep supposedly no student had even crossed! If we could do _that_ on our very first year, just imagine what we can do in the next six!"

At James' reasoning Remus felt that he should probably point the fact that they had only found the kitchens due to their attempt to escape Filch and the accidentally right touch in the right place. Wisely, however, he decided to keep it to himself. James was too excited to listen to reason, anyway.

It was decided. That year they would start working on the map James had suggested. It would be their greatest prank ever, because through it, they would be able to do so much more than any pranksters before them and after. It would be the ultimate tool of wreaking havoc, and with it they would never be lost again. They would always know where they were and where they needed to go. It was sheer genius, even if they had to say so themselves.

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Coming back from their third detention that year, about two weeks after the feast, the four boys crashed down in the common room, moaning and rubbing their sore limbs. The Gryffindors still in there only gave them a cursory look before returning to their own doings. This was a common sight these days.

They had done five pranks in that space of time, yet only got caught twice. The third detention was from their Astronomy teacher, for being quarter of an hour late to their lesson. They really were not to blame, Remus thought bitterly, having been detained by Peeves, the poltergeist, but Professor Higgins would not hear of it.

"I swear to you lot," Sirius said, making a rather pathetic attempt at moving his fingers, "I'm not going to take this from Filch anymore - I say our next midnight excursion should be dedicated to get back at that foul man."

"You can't say we didn't deserve this detention, Sirius," Remus said, sighing. "We _did_ after all break into his office and steal the stash of dungbombs he confiscated from other students."

"What I'd like to know, though - is how he found out it was us."

"I'd say it was the _'eat dung, Filch_' sign all over his wall in your handwriting, Sirius," James said, a smile cracking on his tired face. "Though in that case he should have given the detention just to you, so essentially, it's _your_ fault the three of us were stuck there as well."

"Okay, so I admit that was foolish."

"Foolish indeed. At least he didn't find out where we hid them after we stole th-" James drifted off, suddenly glaring at the group of girls who just entered the common room, carrying books.

The others followed his gaze. There was not doubt as to whom that glare was directed.

"What _is_ it with you and Keira this year?" Peter asked cautiously. "I, mean, we know you were never in the best of terms, but ever since the feast you've been at each other's throats all the time. It's starting to be very disturbing."

"A little disagreement between me and the twerp, Peter - nothing serious," James mumbled, lowering his intense gaze. His face, however, said otherwise.

"Go on, James," Sirius coaxed him. "Spill - what has little Miss Palmer do to agitate her older cousin?"

James sighed. "It's really nothing, Sirius. Right about the end of August I hatched a plan to get rid of Aunt Claire's garden gnomes, and was foolish enough to ask dear Keira if she wanted to help me. She looked disgusted and gave me such a telling-off that I had difficulties with my hearing two days later.

"The next week I come by for a visit - and what do you know? Lo and behold! Little Miss Palmer has sold _my_ idea to her mother for a Galleon! So I told Aunt Claire that it was my idea and she gave me six Sickles out of the Galleon. Keira is mad at me ever since."

"She's been verbally abusing you for the past week over six _Sickles_?" Remus found it hard to believe. In fact, it was worse than hard to believe. It was practically ludicrous. However, seeing the way the two cousins acted towards each other constantly over the past year, he came to realize that _nothing_ was too ridiculous where they were concerned.

James nodded his head furiously, completely oblivious to Remus' inner disbelief mingled with amusement. "Unbelievable, isn't it? That girl sure is something sometimes."

"Would more mayhem get your head off this subject? We might as well work on our reputation. The teachers still aren't sure that we're behind everything that goes exploding around this place," Sirius said slyly.

"What kind of mayhem?" James asked, brightening up considerably.

"No! Not more mayhem for the week," Remus said with finality. He did not know where this newfound determination sprang from. The year before he would not have dared openly opposing either one of the boys, but this time he felt he could stamp his foot down and refuse to cooperate.

"But Moony…" Sirius whined.

"We're not going to be causing any troubles tonight," he continued. "Twice a week is more than enough. First we're going to finish our homework - which, I believe, we've been neglecting for the past three days - and _after_ we're done with our homework, we can go to sleep. We haven't been to bed earlier than one in the morning for the past week, and frankly, it's starting to take a toll on me. I can't afford it. Not when the moon comes in a week or so."

"But, Moony…" Sirius repeated. "We _never_ do our homework in advance. You _know_ that!"

James, however, nodded in understanding. "No, he's right, Sirius. We'd better sit it out this time. We can go causing trouble tomorrow. Anyway, I don't care that much about the twerp anymore, so I don't need that much cheering up. Exploding Snap?"

So Sirius and James did not do their homework that night, leaving diligence to their two less lazy friends and playing round after round of Exploding Snap.

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"-stupid, arrogant _git_!"

Remus, warily turning a corner with equally wary Sirius and Peter in tow, recognized that voice as Evans'. At first hearing it he wondered who might have managed to flare her up like that, but the words he soon heard dissipated any sort of wondering. There was not doubt as to whom she was referring. She only ever used that side of her vocabulary when addressing a certain messy-haired boy with the knack of making her furious just by walking by.

And indeed, as the three turned that corner, they saw James leaning on the wall with a wide smirk on his face, his arms folded casually, and his eyes trained on a red-faced Evans, who was covered from head to toe with a gelatinous substance that Remus vaguely recognized as Peter's failed wart-reducing potion from the day before. He wondered how James had managed to scoop a bit of the potion before Slughorn had made it disappear with a sigh.

"You can't say you didn't deserve it, Evans," the short boy said with a toothy grin. "I told you to apologize to Peter. You shouldn't have mocked his potion-making abilities as you did. The bloke is already uncertain of himself as he is - you just made it worse. We can't all be potion geniuses."

Remus, while thinking that what James had done was bad - especially since they could not know what would be the effect of the failed potion on the girl - in essence his demand that she would apologize to Peter had been justified. Her refusal to do so had angered James, but he had given no indication that he would retaliate. Not even to his friends.

Finally, James spotted the three standing beside him and smiled. "Glad you decided to join me. Come on. I'm starving. Oh, and Evans?" he called, giving her one look before passing her with his friends. "I'd go to the Hospital Wing. You can never know what this potion might do to you - it is after all 'the most spectacular failure to be produced by any self-respecting wizard with half a brain - but then again, the creator _does_ lack in that department, no?'"

That precise quoting of the girl's words from the day before echoed in the empty hallway surrounding them as they turned to make their way to the Great Hall, leaving a curiously still Evans behind them.

It was only much later when Keira had angrily slapped her cousin in the common room that they heard that Evans was in the Hospital Wing, needing to be de-scaled. James had concluded that apparently the whole mandrake skin Peter had added instead of two strips had created the curious effect of making the subject scale over. He did not look remorseful at all.

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"I found a secret passage!" Remus said excitedly to his friends when he returned to the Tower after his first full moon that year. Though he was tired and somewhat battered, the first moon being the hardest of them all as a rule, his exhilaration at his find pushed all other thought away from his mind as he rushed to the dorm to share his news with the other three.

"What?"

"Where?"

"When?"

The responses from his three friends made him even more excited. "At least I _think_ it's a secret passage," he said, not realizing he was beginning to babble without much sense. "I mean - it can't be anything else, now can it? It has to be - it's too concealed to be anything else and no one would have guessed and it must have been untouched for at least a hundred years or so and-"

"Slow down, Moony!" Sirius said, raising his hands in what was supposed to be a calming gesture. "You sound like James when he tries to confuse a teacher into letting him off for being late."

"Hey!" the bespectacled boy protested, receiving no retort from Sirius apart of the not particularly mature gesture of sticking his tongue out.

Remus laughed, shaking his head. "You know that statue of the humped backed witch?" he said before James could launch himself at Sirius and begin another of their mock-battles.

"The one with the one eye?" Sirius asked, leaning forward in anticipation. They had all gone past that statue so many times in the past.

"Yes, that's the one," Remus affirmed, no longer fighting the broad smile that was threatening to take over his features since the moment he had entered the dorm. "Anyway, I was just coming here from the Hospital Wing, when I heard someone tripping and falling - so I went to see if they needed help. But never mind about that. The point is, that I veered off course, helping that Hufflepuff first year to where her friends were waiting, and decided to take a new, shorter route to the Tower - that's when I stumbled over Filch's abominable cat and came crushing down straight into the witch's statue. My wand was in my sleeve and it fell out and hit the hump - and there it was - the hump just… opened!"

"Did you go see where it leads to?" James asked, immediately perking up, his eyes trained on Remus as though the taller boy held all the answers to all the questions in the world. Remus could see that his friend could barely hold himself in place, curiosity making him look like a seven-year-old.

"No," he said regretfully. "I was sure you'd want to come with me - and we'd better take the cloak and all, as we don't know where it might lead. Besides, it was dark and dusty, so I couldn't even tell if it went in a specific direction or not."

"Well, that makes it - what? Three secrets we know about this place?" James asked, frowning.

"That's about it," Sirius said, affirming the boy's words. "The kitchens, Moony's tunnel under the Willow, and now this. We're getting better at this line of work!"

James shook his head, disgust obvious on his face. "Sirius, we've been a whole year in this place and we only have three secrets known to us. There must be hundreds of them out there that we know nothing about!"

"What do you suggest, then?" the tall boy said, his eyes narrowed.

"I suggest that tonight we start on the map. Tonight, we are taking the cloak and start exploring this place. Are you with me, or am I going alone?"

"But what about the passage Moony found?" Peter asked in confusion.

"It can wait for a little while," James said, shrugging. "It's more exciting than mapping the school, so we should give it a go when we're bored of sketching the rough drafts. So Moony, are you up for tonight, or are you still tired?"

Remus hesitated. He knew how much James wanted to already start working on the map, but the effects of the full moon still did not fade entirely, and if he was completely honest with himself, all he really wanted was to go and sleep. And so, sighing, he said "You go ahead, James. I'll stay behind this time - catch up with my sleep. Just don't forget to show me what you did tomorrow morning."

"Yes, sir!" his friend said with a mock-salute, grinning. Remus could see he had done the right thing, telling James they could go on without him. The boy was so excited now that he started bouncing in place.

And so Remus did not join his friend on their midnight excursion. He heard them leaving sometimes after midnight, but soon after he sank into a deep, dreamless sleep from which he only awoke like clockwork at dawn the next day.

Impatiently waiting for his friends to wake up and show him their night's work, he started looking around the room on his own, hoping to find it. Finding nothing, he had to wait for James to finally open groggy eyes and pull himself out of his warm bed.

"'s under the mattress," the short boy mumbled as he collected his things and went to the bathroom.

Remus could only barely restrain himself from running to James' bed and turn the mattress upside down. As it were, he walked there with as much dignity as possible and pulled out a single parchment. It had a rough sketch on it that had still been made with a sure hand. The sketch was strangely scaled down to size, and portrayed a part of the lowest level of dungeons.

"We didn't find anything interesting yet," Sirius said from behind him, yawning as he spoke. "Nearly got caught by a Prefect at some point. But Peter, the sneaky person that he is, suggested that we should follow them one night at the end of their night patrol and discover where their common rooms are. It could be fun."

Remus shuddered at the idea of following a Prefect and being discovered. That would get them in a whole lot of trouble that he did not need. Though his friends had proved to be true ones and had stayed by his side, he still could not risk being caught doing something completely out of line. He knew that unlike his friends, his own leash was much shorter. One transgression could lead to expulsion, and he could not allow that to happen.

On the other hand, what would his friends say if he would refuse to join with what they were planning? Would they find him boring and leave him? He could not let _that_ happen either.

_Congratulation, Lupin,_ he bitterly thought. _You have landed yourself in one big fix._

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It was sometimes around the middle of November and several midnight excursion later that anything interesting had happened in the life of the four friends. The morning post arrived at the usual time, students getting letters and parcels from home as usual. There was one thing that was unusual about it, however, and that was the fact that Sirius got a letter.

Ever since the very first day of school the only thing the black-haired boy had ever gotten was the infamous Howler of September fifth of their first year. His mother, so he had explained at some point, preferred to ignore him, for he was the shame of the family, as far as she was concerned. Instead she focused her interest on Sirius' younger brother, who, if to believe Sirius, was a complete idiot, who worshipped the ground on which their mother walked.

What little he had said about his summer holidays was that he was glad that it was over. Life at the Black household had been hard those two months, because of two, mildly related issues. The first, naturally, was the matter of Sirius' sorting into Gryffindor. He had spent those months almost solely shut in his room because he could not stand the angry glares and snide comments directed his way - not too speak of those times when his parents stressed on how perfect his little brother was and how he should have been the elder. The only refuge Sirius had were those few days of freedom when he had managed to convince his mother to let him go to James' and then to Peter's. Sirius never said what he had to do in order to insure that she would actually let him do so. Every time the matter was approached his face would close up and he would revert to grunts or mono-syllabics until the subject was changed.

The second issue that had made his summer hard was the scandal his favourite cousin had caused. Andromeda's relationship with Muggle-born Ted Tonks had escalated in those months they had been together from casual friendship to love. When she had voiced her intentions of marrying the man, however, sometime around August, all hell broke loose, in Sirius' words. The whole family was appalled by her actions, and several of their relatives had done their best to talk her out of it. Sirius' mother was the most furious of the lot, and she had done her best to convince Andromeda's parents to disinherit her. At the moment, things were at a stand-still, and Sirius was rather anxious all that first month, being unable as he was to hear what was going on.

That single letter that had arrived with the morning post had made everything clear.

The owl that had landed next to the surprised boy waited patiently for him to recompose himself and remove the letter attached to its leg. Opening the letter and scanning through it, Sirius' face was a strange study of wonder, shock and amusement.

"You wouldn't _believe_ this!" he finally said, his eyes shinning brightly.

"Oh?" James asked carefully, voicing the caution all three seemed to feel necessary.

"Andy is getting _married_!" the boy crowed loudly, punching his fist in the air. Then, without warning, he turned to look at the Slytherin table and shouted "Hey, Cissy! Guess what! Andy is getting married and there's nothing you can do about it!"

Narcissa Black, Sirius' Slytherin cousin, was apparently very much surprised to hear about it, for her normally pale face became even paler, and her lips became so thin that they were hard to spot in her colourless face. Then he eyes narrowed, and without another word she got up from the Slytherin table and stormed off.

"Bet you anything that she's gone to the owlery to send dear Auntie a letter," Sirius said smugly, and insane light in his eyes. "Wish I could be there when Mother gets the news."

"Ummm… Sirius?" Remus asked uncertainly, intimidated by the strangely wild expression of delight on his friend's face. "Are you sure it's such a good idea to let Narcissa know about Andromeda?"

At this Sirius' face broke into his normal grin and he said "It wasn't my idea, Moony. Here, let me read you this. '_Oh, and before I forget, Sirius. You are the only one of the family to whom I write, letting you know. You and Alphard, that is, but I doubt if our favourite uncle would arrive back at England in time for the wedding. My point is, I would like the rest of the family to know - but have no intention of telling them myself. I don't really want to see their faces anymore. Not after what they had said about Ted. So would you do me a favour? You should be getting this with the morning post, and so I would very much like it if you would let Cissy know what's going on. I'm sure the little snitch would take care of things. Be as loud and embarrassing as you like, Sirius. I know you won't disappoint me._' See? It wasn't _my_ idea to begin with!"

Remus shook his head in disbelief. The two black sheep of the House of Black sure enjoyed causing trouble for their relatives. There was one thing he wanted to know. He was a curious boy, after all. "Who's Alphard?" he asked. If both Andromeda and Sirius had favoured the man, then he must be the third decent person James had mentioned the year before.

"Alphard?" Sirius smiled. "He's my uncle. A rather strange bloke if you ask me, but he's a good man and the only Black I would care to spend time with except for Andy. The family would have cut all connections with him a long time ago - were he not so rich. They're still hoping that he's going to give them the money in his will one day, but personally I think that he'd first see that money goes down the drain before letting any Black see one Knut from it. But, then again, Andy is going to stop being a Black soon enough, and so there's nothing stopping him from giving _her_ the money."

"So when's the wedding?" James asked. "Are you invited?"

"Of course I am! It's during Easter. She scheduled it so that I can come without needing to ask Mother's permission since I'm not allowed to go home on school holidays except for the summer holidays." He seemed very ecstatic at the very idea.

Over the next couple of weeks Sirius could speak of nothing apart of Andromeda's wedding and how enraged their family is going to be once they all hear of it. The ominous silence from Narcissa every time they bumped into her by mistake in the hallways told them that the words had not yet gone through the entire family as yet. In fact, it was only on the morning of the full moon and on the last day of term, more than a month after the news had arrived Sirius via owl that the fifth year girl had said anything to them.

Remus was not feeling well that morning. He felt dizzy and had a dull ache in his temples. He was more prone to snappiness and was not his polite and quiet self. It did not help that on their way to this class or other (he was far from caring, wanting nothing more than to go back to Gryffindor Tower and burrow into his warm bed, passing the time until moonrise in deep sleep) they were cornered by a groups of Slytherins, headed by Narcissa and including among them the annoying Snape.

"Well, well, well," the blonde said, a sneer on her face. "What have we here? Two blood-traitors and their lackeys. What a motley crew."

"What do you want, Narcissa?" Sirius asked, his eyes narrowed. This year he did not have Andromeda to back him, and so he was being careful, testing the ground, so to say.

"I just thought I'd let you know that the family would _never_ allow one of us to marry a mudblood. You should know that, little cousin."

"So?" he said defiantly. "Andy will never succumb to your demands. She always did what she saw right, and you're not going to change that."

"Bella is going to have a word with her," Narcissa said smugly. "Andromeda will never be able to refuse if Bella says so. Bella will _crush_ her if she goes with that filthy mudblood."

"I think you're mental," Sirius said flatly. "Andy will never listen to _anything_ Bellatrix has to say. She will cut her own hand, too, before willingly letting that stupid woman into her house." At this Sirius' eyes darkened. Even though Remus was not really concentrating, he could see his friend's obvious dislike to the aforementioned Bellatrix, whoever she was. "Bella has even less of a chance to convince Andy to change her mind than Auntie dearest does."

The expression on the older Slytherin's face turned from smug to malicious in seconds. "Oh, but I never said she was going to try and _convince_ her, Sirius," she drew out the words as if taking sadistic pleasure in them. "You _do_ know how talented Bella is in _certain methods_. Andromeda will have no choice but casting off that useless mudblood and marrying Rabastan Lestrange just like she is supposed to. Though how Rabastan is about to suffer the fact that she's been dallying with a mudblood, I don't know. He might be angry… _very_ angry." The threat in her words was not so much as disguised.

Growling, Sirius' hand went to his wand, but all five Slytherins standing in front of the boys were ready for such a reaction and had theirs at the ready.

"If she will so much as _hurt_ her…" Sirius managed to say through his anger.

"Then what, Sirius?" the girl said incredulously. "You're twelve! What can you possibly do to stop her?"

"He may not be able to do anything," James said quietly, his stance seemingly relaxed, but Remus could tell that he was ready to jump into the fray if his friend would be in trouble, "but the Aurors will. Just one word, _Narcissa_, and they would be all over your dear sister's house, taking care of her husband and brother-in-law. They don't take threats lightly, you know."

"You wouldn't _dare_," she hissed.

In the meanwhile, Sirius recomposed himself and now had a wide smirk on his face. "Do you want to test that, Cissy? Do you really? Whose word are they more likely to take? That of a Potter or that of a stinking Dark Witch and her friends?"

"This isn't over," she said angrily, knowing that she had lost this round. "I will get you for that, _cousin_. Don't think I won't."

With that she whirled around and walked away, her followers in tow. That is, her followers, barring Snape, whose flaming dislike to the four Gryffindors had only intensified during the summer and the first few months of second year. Admittedly, it did not help that James and Sirius had somehow managed to hang him by the neck of his robes outside Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom's window the week before, making the new Professor Chelsea deduct twenty points off Gryffindor and giving the two a detention.

"Anything else you wanted to add, Snape?" Remus asked tiredly, just wishing they could go to class and he would be able to slump into his seat.

"Don't take that tone with me, Lupin!" the Slytherin growled.

"What tone?" Remus demanded, his snappiness rising to the surface again. This time there was certainly a 'tone' there, even he could not deny it. It was somewhat belligerent.

"You have no right to speak to me like this, you threw your lot with the blood-traitors and now you will have to deal with it!"

"What are you talking about? What has that to do with anything?"

Snape did not answer. What he _did_ do was draw his wand before any of them could say a word and sent a jelly-legs hex at the unprepared Sirius.

"You chose the losing side, Black. You should have stayed with your family." Then he walked away, laughing as he did.

Quickly muttering the countering spell, James helped Sirius up. "We'll get him back for that, mate. Don't worry about it. And don't worry about Andromeda, either. They won't hurt her. They're still afraid of the Aurors."

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When Remus returned to the Gryffindor common room two days later, he found it nearly deserted. Everyone had already left for the Christmas holidays the day before. Due to the full moon they did not perform a Christmas prank, which disappointed James and Sirius very much, but from the little he heard from Madam Pomfrey, the entire staff was on edge the entire evening, remembering all-too-well the happenings of the previous Christmas. It had amused him, pulling him momentarily out of his pain.

Walking slowly into the dorm, he was surprised to see both James and Sirius, as well as Peter in the dorm.

"I thought the three of you were going to spend Christmas at home," he said, confused. As far as he knew, Sirius was yet again invited for Christmas at the Potters, and Peter was supposed to go home to his doting mother.

"Mum and Dad asked that we would stay this year," James said, looking a little forlorn. "There's some big Auror convention going on in Cardiff - something special over this loon who wants to kill all the Muggle-born out there. It's going to go all through Christmas and they've been invited as specialists. McGonagall got their message right after you left for the Willow. We stayed."

"And Peter?"

"I thought that if the three of you were staying then it's bound to be more interesting than going home," the boy said, shrugging. "Anything to get out of the madwoman's clutches. One day she will drive me insane, I tell you."

"Your mum?" Sirius asked curiously, and as Peter nodded, muttered "join the club." His face darkened at this, and he started looking moody.

"You look like you had a hard time this month," James quickly subverted the subject. "You were only away for two days, but you're limping."

"I fractured my hip when the wolf decided it would be a good idea to dive down from the second floor's landing and unto one of the chairs. Again, if I might add. I think the wolfish me is more than a little dumb and quite suicidal," he said dryly. "Luckily for it, it doesn't feel the pain afterwards."

The other three looked sympathetic. Then, without warning, Sirius seemed to perk up, shaking off his sour mood. He fixed Remus with an intense look.

"What?" Remus said uncomfortably, twitching under his friend's gaze.

"It's time we think up ways to help you out, Moony," he said. "We've been wasting enough time as it is. Every full moon matters, you know."

Remus was taken aback. They had not discussed it for a long while, and he thought they had all forgotten about it. He should have known better. Shaking his head ruefully, he tried to dissuade them from dwelling on the matter. "I told you, Sirius, there's no cure for lycanthropy. There's nothing you can do."

"Maybe if we stayed with you during-"

"No!" he growled, getting up abruptly, and from the startled reactions of the other three realized that he must look terrifying. "Sirius, you have no idea what you're talking about - You can't just _stay_ in one room with a fully transformed werewolf! The smell will drive me mad - I'll kill you - if not worse!"

"What can be worse than being dead?" the tall boy said, suddenly sounding worried.

"Being bitten, you stupid arse! That's the worst thing that can happen to you, Sirius - and I'm not going to be responsible for one of my best friend turning into a monster just like- like - just like_ me_!"

Sirius was possibly the most startled by the violence of Remus' reply. His grey eyes were wide, and his mouth dropped slightly open. He started saying something, but James stopped him with a quiet word. He then caught Remus' eyes and held his gaze, his eyes behind their glasses calm and reassuring.

"You are not a monster, Remus," he said, calling him by his given name rather than his nickname. "You're not. It's something you can't help - just like an illness. It's just… a furry little problem. Something you don't have control over just once a month. Believe us when we tell you this, Moony. We are your friends, and we do _not_, under any circumstances, see you the way you see yourself. Sirius was just trying to help. Come on. Let's think of more helpful ideas."

"So…" Sirius mumbled, not meeting Remus' eyes. "We can scratch off staying with you during full moons. Any ideas anyone?"

**Not so evil this time, it would seem… Now what will we have next chapter? Will the boys finally discover what is behind the statue of the one-eyed witch? Will Andromeda's wedding actually come to pass? What exactly are they going to think up, trying to help Remus? All this and more, on Sunday!**

**Thank you very much for all those who reviewed, and again, if I did not answer you personally, I still very much thank you and appreciate the fact that you did - don't ever think that I don't!**

**So tell me what you think!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	7. The Marauders

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Argh! ((makes obscene gestures in the computer's direction)) My internet failed yesterday. I think that every possible thing failed yesterday, actually. The train I took ran late, almost making me late for an important thing, every traffic light on my way there was glaringly _red_, and when I _finally_ arrived home after a grueling day, the internet refused to work! Well, that's my reason for not updating yesterday. I apologize profusely, and to make up for it, I will do a double update next week (meaning I next update is Sunday, and then the one after it would be on Wednesday). Forgive me? - or rather, forgive my evil internet?

Thank you very much to all those who reviewed, and I hope that you will like this chapter!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Seven - The Marauders**

As weeks passed, the four boys discovered that looking up for ideas on how to help a werewolf was not an easy feat. The floor of their dorm was littered with discarded ideas of plans that became wilder and wilder as Remus' friends became more desperate to find something - _anything_ - that will make full moons easier for him.

It was not that he did not appreciate their fervour and their wish to make his life a better one, but Remus did not want them to risk their lives, and so blatantly refused to assist them.

On one rare occasion that he was alone in the dorm, he took the chance to collect some of the mess from the floor, and at the same time glanced at the ideas scrolled on the crumpled pieces of parchment. There was everything there from erecting impenetrable shields of unbreakable glass at one side of his shelter that would provide the dual propose of blocking their smell and allow him to have comforting company, to surround themselves with smell-proof bubbles and stand by him.

He was very touched by their perseverance, but had to shake his head in disbelief as he stumbled on a piece of parchment on which they attempted to concoct a sort of powder that would clog the wolf's sense of smell. Black pepper was a main ingredient. They were running out of ideas.

Gradually his three friends became more and more aggravated with his refusal to help. They would pester him for hints during meals; they would corner him in the library, bugging him until the scowling Madam Pince practically kicked them out. He would get notes passed to him during lessons and had surprise questions sprung on him when he least expected it.

In the end, he lost control and shouted at them to leave him be - that they were only making it worse.

How could they know how horrible their well-meant attempts to help were to him? How could they know that at the very beginning - right after the Bite his parents had tried every possible thing, every witch-doctor's medicine in a desperate attempt to turn back time and cure him? How could they possibly know the frustration and pain that came with each failed attempt? They could not, and he would not be the one to tell them. He could not face it again. Their cause was hopeless, and prodding it awake did him no good.

He did not speak with them for an entire day after that. When he returned to the dorm late the next evening, the floor of the room was cleared of any parchments or books, or any other suspicious object. His friends were waiting there, apologetic expressions on their faces. James did the talking, promising to not pursue the matter any further and saying that they were extremely sorry and did not know how much it bothered him. He graciously accepted their apology and things were back to normal.

Remus was not an idiot. He knew that even though they had promised not to bother him anymore with the matter, James at least would not give up that easily. The boy was stubborn. _Very_ stubborn. He could not accept failure. In many ways that was what made James such a good friend - it was the reason why Sirius was now friends with them. James refused to let the good in Sirius go, and that was how the brooding boy had finally accepted their friendship.

Speaking of Sirius, the tall boy was becoming edgier and edgier as weeks went by. Ever since their 'meeting' with Narcissa and the Slytherins he seemed to constantly throw glances behind his back, as though expecting to turn one day and find his cousin with her wand trained on him, ready to hex him to Hades and back. At first neither Remus nor the other two understood why he was so fearful, but at long last James forces the tall boy to sit down and explain.

Hesitatingly and haltingly, Sirius explained. Remus soon regretted ever asking.

The Black family, in many aspects, was unlike any other family he had ever encountered or heard of. They were pure-bloods, able to trace their lineage long into the mists of the past. They took pride in it, looking disdainfully at everyone with slightly less pure blood. They felt themselves the aristocracy of the Wizarding World, disinheriting anyone that failed to reach their standards, wiping them off the family's history.

Andromeda was Sirius' favourite cousin - his only ally in a family who resented him for becoming a Gryffindor instead of continuing the proud line of Slytherins the family had produced over the years. Now that she was marrying a Muggle-born, she would no longer be considered a Black, and therefore the only person on his side would no longer be there to protect him. He would be on his own.

It was only then that Remus realized what his friend was truly afraid of. He was afraid that Narcissa would take her sister's disinheriting as permission to attack Sirius, three years younger than her and practically defenseless since no one in the family would come to his aid. It made him sick to his stomach. No one deserved to be treated that way by their family, like they were less than dirt.

Before he could say anything, however, James was there, breaking the tension with the most earnest tone Remus had ever heard him use.

"If she will go for you, mate," the messy-haired boy said, "then you will not be alone. We're not about to let her get to you. None of us."

And that was all that Sirius needed. After weeks of dread and worry, their friend was once more happy and mischievous, soon concocting plans on how to get Narcissa rue the day she was born. He started speaking more openly about how much he anticipated the forthcoming wedding and what kind of fun he would have, playing jokes on his cousin and her friends. It was as though a dark cloud had dissipated, leaving him happy and ready to face anything.

In the middle of all that mess, there was one occasion that they will always remember.

It happened in Transfiguration, two month into the second term. It was a rather normal lesson to begin with. Starting with McGonagall suspiciously examining James and Sirius' essays, trying to find proof that they had only been scribbled twenty minutes earlier (as they truly had been), and finding none, going through her sharp threat to take twenty house points from the next person who did something inappropriate to the object they were currently attempting to transfigure, and reaching half of the allotted class-time almost without any life-threatening incidences.

This, of course, was insufferable as far as the boys, specifically James and Sirius, were concerned. On a regular day, they would have sent notes back and forth between them, trying to decide how best to disrupt the lesson without getting too many points deducted, and if possible, without getting a detention. That day, however, one of them had lost his patience, and they had simply acted as he had requested.

"I WANT TO KNOW WHO DID THIS!" McGonagall's voice boomed around the confines of the Transfiguration classroom. She looked particularly terrifying that day, her patience already tried too many times by her second year Gryffindors. She was the closest thing Remus had seen to a human volcano.

In her rage she did not really realize that she was only making things worse, the victim of the act she was so furious about suffering even more. She was waving in her hand a small fuzzy creature, squeaking in horror, that was once their classmate - Haley Banks.

Haley was of the Evans Crowd now, after being a loner for most of their first year. It seemed as though Evans had taken pity on her and decided to become her friend. She was still a small, shy girl who appeared to be afraid of her own shadow and was always at the very back of the group, quiet and unassuming. On a regular day she had long locks of curly black hair. That day, at that precise moment, it had been exchanged with lots of blue fur and she was roughly the size of a common mouse.

Slowly, but with satisfaction on their faces (on James' and Sirius', mostly), the four boys raised their hands, answering McGonagall's rage. Remus at least had the decency to look ashamed of himself

McGonagall burst. "I HAD ENOUGH WITH THE LOT OF YOU! YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF BOUNDS FROM THE VERY MOMENT YOU SET FOOT IN THIS CASTLE! I WILL HAVE NONE OF THAT ANY MORE! NO MORE WITH YOUR PRANKING, VANDALIZING, TRESSPASSING, HEXING, JINXING, AND MARAUDING! NO MORE!"

They received a week's worth of detentions for their rather harmless prank, mainly because of McGonagall's bad humour of the day - but better than that. They received their name. The name that will strike terror in slytherin hearts for years to come. The name that will make many students crack up with laughter. The name that shall remain in legend for ever and a day.

_The Marauders_.

The first thing they did once they were out of detention the next evening was to huddle underneath James' Cloak and embark on a secret journey into the Great Hall. They were nearly apprehended twice - once by the infernal Mrs. Norris, and a second time by her moldy master, but managed to escape on both occasions.

The next morning, as the whole school congregated for breakfast, improvised fireworks erupted from the four corners of the hall, their long-lasting sparkles forming words in four different hands above the heads of all sitting in it.

_For her everlasting devotion to us,_

_For her everlasting care,_

_For her wondrous intervening in everything we do,_

_For encouraging us to dare,_

_We are saluting this fine morning to she who deserves it more than all,_

_Our dearest Minnie,_

_The detention-giver to whom none shall compare_

_With gratitude and certain knowledge of the long detention that awaits us,_

_The Marauders _

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Needless to say, they got a detention for that little masterpiece, though Professor Flitwick _did_ award them points for an excellent charmswork. Out of Professor McGonagall's hearing, of course.

"Why did _we_ have to get the most boring detention of all?" James muttered to himself bitterly, and though the words were probably not meant to reach Remus' ears, he had no trouble catching them. He smiled wryly at his friend.

McGonagall (quite wisely, he had to admit) had decided it had been imprudent of her to put all four boys in the same detention for the past few months, since it seemed that every time they were in detention a new prank soon followed, and so had separated them. Sirius and Peter were sent yet again to clean the trophies, and would probably smell of grease when they returned to the dormitory later that evening, and Remus and James were dispatched to Madam Pince and were under instructions to return stray books to their rightful place.

"Less opportunities for us to get in trouble?" Remus suggested dryly. "I can't imagine much mischief to do with books, as much as I would try to think of one."

"Nor can I, unfortunately. It would have made these hours go much quicker if I could."

They worked in silence for a while, each with his own pile of books hovering obediently beside him, when suddenly Remus heard James taking a sharp breath in. He turned to face his friend, whose face was more excited than ever.

"_Someone forgot to put a restricted book back into the restricted section!_" James gasped, almost inaudibly.

"What's it about?" Remus demanded in growing interest. His natural affinity to books was rivaled by nothing, and combined with the spark of mischief woken in him after befriending James and Sirius, he was always curious to have a look at the books in the restricted section.

James flipped through the pages of the book, keeping the title on the cover sheltered by his hand. A quick succession of expressions passed through his face, completely unreadable to Remus, but then it became blank. "Oh, nothing of interest, Moony," he waved it off in a cheerful tone. "Unfortunately for our pranks, it's nothing that can aid us. I'll just go to old Pincey and tell her we found this. Be right back."

As James took off, Remus followed him with his eyes, very suspicious. He would recognize that innocent look on his friend's face at any time and place, and did not bode well. It never did.

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Time passed.

A short while before Easter a notice appeared on the notice board in the common room. It announced the date of the last Hogsmeade weekend of the year. The third years and above were overjoyed to hear that they would be able to enjoy the wonders of the village once more before the end of the year. Remus, however, had other things in mind.

After much consideration, he had decided that a Hogsmeade weekend was most likely their best chance to explore that single secret passage he had located at the very beginning of the year. They had kept postponing their exploration of the place for various reasons, but this was the best times to explore. Most of the teachers would be gone, taking advantage of the last Hogsmeade weekend of the year just like their students, and so they could explore the passage during the day and not sneak about in the middle of the night.

And so, after most of the student body had swarmed away to the village, he gathered his friends around him and explained his reasoning. The task of locating them was harder than it sounded for it recently became harder to have them all together at the same time. Sirius and James were often gone on private prank making missions (specifically aimed at Narcissa and Snape - it was James' way of making Sirius feel better about Andromeda's impending wedding ), and Peter was struggling with the upcoming exams - studying as hard as he could. The others tried helping him, but sometimes they lost their patience with him, so he generally preferred to work alone.

To top it all, James had turned secretive on them ever since that detention in the library - disappearing at times to unknown locations. Remus' suspicions were mounting. He knew there was something strange about his friend's quick dismissal of the book. James was hiding something.

Finally, though, he got them all together and reminded them of the secret passageway. It was rather surprising at how quickly they all eagerly agreed to go, throwing away whatever they were doing.

Quarter of an hour later, the Marauders were covered by James' invisibility cloak and heading as silently as they could towards the humped-back witch. Though it was daytime, they did not want to risk anyone catching sight of them, disappearing into the hump of the statue. Several minutes later they were there, consulting on where the wand should touch in order to make the statue open. They all had their theories, but in the end it was Peter's idea that had made most sense.

Remus touched his wand to the hump as peter had suggested. It opened without a sound. All three others struggling to get a good look, they peered cautiously into the dark beyond. Feeling like he needed to do it this time, Remus shrugged "Here goes nothing," and went through before any of the others could say anything, almost immediately losing his footing and feeling the ground drop from beneath his feet. He was ready to bid the world goodbye when he crashed into the ground.

The drop, it turned out, was very short. Regaining his feet, he looked around yet saw nothing but darkness. Tightening his hold on his wand, he muttered "_Lumos!_" and then looked around him once again. This time, in the dim light of the wand, he could see a long tunnel leading on into the darkness. It somehow reminded him of his own tunnel underneath the Whomping Willow. The resemblance made him shudder.

Gulping, he decided he wanted company. "Come down!" he called to his friends. "I think it's safe!"

Soon the other three came down in a tumble (luckily Sirius remembered to touch his wand to the hump, closing them in), and, once they got to their feet again, together they headed down the tunnel. Remus could tell that he was not the one feeling that pang of fear mingled with excitement. They could not know where this passage led to, and that made the whole thing smack of an adventure.

The tunnel went on and on, just like the one under the Willow, and even more so. It seemed like it was leading them well out of the bounds of the Hogwarts Grounds. In fact, Remus was starting to feel that it even led them in the same direction as the Willow tunnel. He was still in the lead, holding his lit wand up in the air to show them the way.

After what felt like hours, his head suddenly scraped the ceiling. Rubbing his sore scalp, he looked up. There was a flight of stairs ahead. Slowly, the four walked up the stairs for another long while until they reached a trapdoor up above them. At that point, Sirius pushed Remus away and hefted it up.

Peeking carefully in order to make sure that no one was outside the tunnel, the tall boy heaved himself up and disappeared from view. All Remus could see was a very dim light, filtering into the tunnel. They waited with bated breaths. Remus did not know whether to expect someone to catch Sirius, or to think that they may still get away with it.

Finally, Sirius' voice floated down, excitement evident in his voice. He sounded like a little boy in a sweet shop. "Come on up, you lazy arses! You won't believe this!"

One by one, they all got out of the tunnel and into a huge, dimly-lit room - a cellar, if Remus was not much mistaken. A cellar filled with _sweets_. He was not far off the mark with his characterization of Sirius' voice.

All four boys looked around them in growing awe. There were barrels of Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans in an orderly row across one wall; boxes upon boxes of Chocolate Frogs, carefully stacked; Jars of Cockroach Clusters, packages of blood lollies, clusters of gum, and every other magical sweet in existence, in all shapes, flavours and sizes. It was a dream come true.

"I think I know where we are," James said slowly, his eyes behind their glasses enormously wide.

"Dumbledore's secret snack chamber?" Sirius offered weakly, referring to the Headmaster's known sweet tooth.

"_Honeydukes_," James said equally weakly. "I was once in Hogsmeade with my dad and he took me there - it's one of the best sweetshops in existence. The tunnel must've led us all the… all the way to Hogsmeade!"

Exchanging startled glances, the four boys considered the opening now offered to them on a silver platter. Ohh, the _possibilities_. Armed with this knowledge, they would be able to get into more mischief than ever. They could be the first under-third-years to go into Hogsmeade. The light of excitement twinkled in the four sets of eyes.

"We can go and explore Hogsmeade!" Peter voiced what they had all been thinking. "We could go right now!"

Remus shook his head, hating to be a spoilsport, but as the only one among them with a watch… "Dinner is in half an hour - we have to go back to the castle. And anyway, Hogsmeade Weekend is over by now. The villagers would be suspicious to see us around. We might get into more trouble than we had bargained for."

The other three were quite disappointed and he himself could also barely contain his regret, but brightened considerably when he offered they would take a few sweets to stash in their dorm.

They left with a hefty amount of sweets in their pockets, all flushed with the excitement of their discovery and the light of success.

When the owners of Honeydukes went down to their cellar to replenish stock somewhat later, they were very much surprised to find on the floor right beneath the staircase leading up to the shop a small pile of coins and a note, hastily scrawled, saying:

"_We would like to apologize for filching a bit of your merchandize. We sincerely hope this amount of money is enough. If not, please leave in the cellar your price list and next time we pop in we will compensate you for you loses._

"_Sincerely yours,_

"_The Marauders._"

Remus was very proud of himself for convincing the others to leave the money and the letter behind.

Once they found their way back to the Castle, they stood beside the statue once again, this time consulting on a whole different matter. They were very proud of themselves for finding the passage into Hogsmeade, but they also came to the conclusion that it would be inadvisable to allow other people to find the passage and use it for their own ends. They wanted it to be _their_ secret, and _their_ secret alone.

"We have to think," James said, pacing this way and that, obviously distressed. "How can we do that? How can we lock this so that only we would be able to go in?"

"Maybe we can key it to our wands?" Remus suggested hesitatingly. "I'm sure I can find something that will allow us to do that - a locking charm that will only correspond to the properties of our wands."

"That's possible but it's not good enough," James said, shaking his head sorrowfully. "One day we will leave this place, and then there will be new generations of jokers and we wouldn't want to deprive them of this wonderful opportunity to make more mayhem. No, we need something that bright enough people would be able to figure out and make good use of. Any ideas except keying it?"

The other three exchanged helpless glances and shook their heads.

"Let's go back to the Tower, James," Sirius said. "Maybe we'll be able to come up with something then."

They did come up with something, in the end. It was quite simple, really, and they had come up with it even before they had entered the common room. They were, in fact, standing before the portrait of the Fat Lady, arguing about Sirius' idea to fix a hex on the statue that would target anyone touching it aside of them. The Fat Lady was waiting patiently for them to stop arguing before asking "Password?"

And it was then, and only then, that things clicked into Remus' mind. His eyes widening he said "That's _it_!"

"What is?" James asked, halfway through that week's password.

"A password, James! We can lock it with a password. The hump would only open if you tap it with your wand and say a password!"

All four exchanged excited glances, and, leaving a very perplexed portrait behind them, made their way back to the one-eyed witch.

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The idea of exploring Hogsmeade remained prominent in all their minds over the following week. They all dwelled on it whenever they had free time between pranks, detentions and lessons. Remus, though he knew that it would be risky, could not feel anything but excitement at the notion of seeing the village before any of their year. In the past year or so, every time third years and above had left for Hogsmeade he had wondered how it would be, what kind of fun could be found there.

They all agreed that they could not risk visiting on Hogsmeade weekends because then the teachers would be around and they could get into a lot more trouble than they were prepared to handle, and in any case, that year would no longer have Hogsmeade weekends. They could, of course, walk under James' cloak on the first weekend the next year, but that would be rather uncomfortable and the chances of being caught would be greater.

Finally Saturday rolled by, and the Marauders made their very excited way to the statue of the one-eyed witch. Using the password they had devised, _Dissendium_, they entered the secret passage and made their way to Honeydukes' cellar. Using James' cloak in order to sneak out of the shop, they went out exploring.

Hogsmeade turned out to be great fun. There was so much to see there. Colourful shops and a friendly pub, the post office and a shady pub that looked very foreboding and therefore fascinating to James and Sirius who only consented not to enter after Remus suggested that it may be the drinking place of dark wizards and witches. If there was one thing those two boys found repulsive, it was the Dark Arts. They both excelled in Defence Against the Dark Arts, and made sure to disassociate themselves from anyone they suspected to be using those Arts, namely Slytherins, more specifically Sirius' cousin and Snape. It did not stop them from playing pranks on the two, however.

The Marauders spent a happy day there, laughing and joking, going for lunch at the Three Broomsticks pub where the proprietor, a tall, impressive woman, gave them a strange look, but said nothing, and then sneaking back to school via Honeydukes without anyone noticing that they were gone. That is, no one noticing, except for Keira, who became very snippy when James told her to sod off and mind her own business.

All in all, they all thought it was a very successful day.

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"Are you ready?" James asked as he helped Sirius into the Muggle suit he was made to wear for Andromeda's wedding. "Do you have everything you need? Do you need money for the Knight Bus? I can lend you some if you don't have anymore money left. I know you used a lot when we were in Hogsmeade the other day."

Remus almost chuckled at the way his friend clucked around like a mother hen. It was one of James' weirder habits - one that he had no idea where his friend had picked it up. They had all stayed at Hogwarts during Easter, for one reason or another, but mainly, the unsaid reason was that they wanted to be there for Sirius, who was both anxious and on the verge of panic in the days preceding Andromeda's wedding.

"I'm fine, James," Sirius said, somewhat embarrassed by James' offer to lend him money. "And I have money left, don't worry. Now… do I look Muggle enough? I don't want to cause trouble to Andy. She'll have enough going, trying to make all her friends less conspicuous."

Remus, the only one of the four with any Muggle experience gave his friend a critical examination before curtly nodding and pronouncing him Muggle-looking.

Half an hour later the three other boys escorted their friend to the Entrance Hall, where Professor McGonagall was waiting to take him to Hogsmeade, from which he was supposed to take the Knight Bus. After he had left, the other three returned to their dorm, knowing that their friend would tell them everything once he got back.

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Sirius returned around lunch the next day, pale and with an expression torn between shock and amusement.

"You wouldn't _believe_ how low my family can sink," he whispered to his friends, glancing shortly in the direction of the Slytherin table as he joined them for lunch.

"Why, what did they do?" James asked. The other two looked at Sirius with baited breaths.

"They actually attempted to crash the wedding," Sirius replied, sounding stunned. "It went fabulously at first - none of the wizards making any crucial mistakes - except for this one witch from Andy's year who had decided to ask for a butterbeer during the reception and started shouting about poor hospitality when the man at the bar told her he didn't know of anything like that - but I digress.

"Anyway, we got to the part where they were supposed to confirm their assenting to the marriage contract, and then my _mum_ entered the hall in her _robes_ and with her _wand_ drawn, screaming at the top of her lungs about mudbloods, blood-traitors and filthy Muggles, threatening to hex all of Ted's family. Apparently Auntie Dearest did not want to sully herself by appearing at her own daughter's wedding and therefore sent Mum to do the dirty work. She was certainly pissed off enough to think that her righteous rage will protect her from being contaminated by being in the company of Muggles."

"So what did she do?" Peter asked fearfully, practically biting his nails in anxiety.

"Well," Sirius said slowly. "I suppose it would have been easier had she not brought reinforcements along. She could have brought my uncle, or Father, or anyone else for that matter. But no. Of all people she could have chosen, she brought _Bella_. I thought Andy would faint on the spot. Bella never seemed to be too sane, even when she was younger, but yesterday… I swear she lost all grip on her senses. She looked raving _mad_. I seriously thought she was going to start Avada Kedavra'ing everyone in sight any minute."

Remus, James and Peter all waited breathlessly to hear the conclusion of the previous day's fiasco.

"I'm telling you, I seriously thought everything was going to be ruined, that Mum and Bella will kill everyone there. Instead, Alphard chose that moment to arrive. He actually got the invitation and had no intention on missing his niece's wedding, and he was fortunate enough to come just in time to stop our crazy relatives from doing something hasty. He disarmed Bella and Mum from behind and forced them to leave."

"Just like that?" James asked incredulously, his eyebrows climbing up to his hairline.

"Not _precisely_ just like that," Sirius admitted. "You see, Alphard is the oldest. So, technically, despite his eccentricities and his fascination with things that do not have the family's approval, he is still the head of the family, and so he has… certain status there. The family is still traditional, so even though most of the family - namely everyone aside of myself and Andy - despises him, they owe him a certain measure of obedience. He is a very powerful wizard, too, so I suppose that if Mum and Bella would have decided to take him on, he would have been able to keep them at bay with the help of some of the guests."

They all sat in silence after that, the other three picturing the scene. Remus felt sorry for Andromeda, that her big day was almost ruined by her family. She must have been so excited, and that was what she got in return. A hateful family and a ruined wedding. Suddenly something came into his mind and he gave Sirius a peculiar glance.

"Weren't the Muggles suspicious?"

At this Sirius grinned. "Ah, Moony, my friend. That was the beauty of having Alphard around. He's such a great liar. My role model, in face. Within ten seconds of talking to him, every Muggle in the room believed Mother Dearest and Bella to be incurably insane who had escaped a mental institution and found the big crowd alluring. I had great fun listening to him explaining the nature of their diseases and how they can become drooling and completely wacky. Frankly enough, I swear Mum drools at times - really, maybe I _should_ commit her to St Mungo's. I wonder how Father would take to that idea…"

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Once more the time until the exams moved too quickly for the students' comfort. And then, suddenly, as though no time had passed at all, the four friends were facing the end of yet another year at Hogwarts. To Remus it was still a wonder that he managed to remain a student and not get expelled, but he thought that he had masked it well, smiling and laughing with his friends, plotting their end-of-year prank that they were determined to perform at all costs.

That year they were planning a prank on a much grander scale than the fireworks of the year before. For an entire month before it they had avoided playing pranks on people, because they had to invest all of their resources in that one grand one they wanted to perform.

During that month they had spent a lot of time in their dorm, brewing potions, mail-ordering joke items from the newly opened joke shop in Hogsmeade and planning their masterpiece step by step. By the time the end-of-year feast had arrived, the Marauders were very fidgety, anxious and jumpy. They wanted everything perfect for their last prank that year, and they did not want anyone catching whiff of what they had in mind.

At long last the students and staff of Hogwarts school all congregated in the Great Hall for the parting feast and the announcement of the winner of that year's House Cup, Ravenclaw. The Hall was bedecked with blue, and the Ravenclaw eagle stared down at everyone through fierce eyes from behind the staff table.

Down at the Gryffindor table, four boys paid no attention to what was happening around them.

"Did you make sure the Glitter Powder is in place?" James asked Peter, his fingers tapping the table in a sure sign of impatience.

Peter nodded enthusiastically. "Everything is in place and just waiting for the signal, James."

"Got everything properly secured Moony?" the black-haired boy now turned to face Remus, his eyes intent.

"As secure as it can get," Remus replied easily, certain that he had done his job satisfactorily.

"Good. Are you ready Sirius?"

"Oh, yes I am!"

"Very good. Let's do it then - right after Dumbledore announces Ravenclaw won the House Cup - that's the signal we agreed on." There was a note of bitterness in James' voice, Remus felt, and did not blame his friend in a bit. They really wanted to win the House Cup that year - but their failure in Quidditch pretty much messed their chances.

As they were speaking, the Headmaster was well into his end-of-year speech, his eyes glittering and twinkling as he did. Then all four tensed as the old man began tallying the points and naming the places into which the Houses managed to achieve. His voice echoed in the Hall as he spoke. And then, finally, he said "-and last, in first place this year, with five hundred and sixty three points: Ravenclaw!"

The Marauders held their breath as a lot of Glitter Powder dropped from the ceiling of the Great Hall, catching the eyes of students and staff as one, shimmering in the candlelight.

At first, before the powder touched any of the staring faces, everyone thought that the glitters dropping all around them were Dumbledore's idea of an end-of-year treat. It looked like something the eccentric old man would do.

Then, however, it touched the tables and the students, and then there was no doubt as to whom was behind it.

In a matter of few minutes the Great Hall started transforming into what could best be described as a jungle. Huge tendrils of green sprouted from the tables, and flowers appeared everywhere. The fragrance of the flowers was almost unbearably sweet. And then, between all that sudden greenery, students started to grow fur. In a matter of minutes all people surrounding them looked like mounds of hair.

"I do hope you did not mess up the antidote, Moony," Sirius said in wonder as he watched all around them people turning into mounds of fur, a wide grin gracing his face. "I _really_ don't want to look like that - and Potions never was your forte. Imagine the embarrassment."

Remus, quite impressed by how well their potion had worked, allowed himself to return the other boy's grin. "Not to worry, Sirius, my friend. Not to worry."

And with big smirks on all four faces they watched the chaos around them in delight. Life was good. There was not doubt about that.

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The next day, once they disembarked from the Hogwarts Express and unto the platform back at Kings Cross, James seemed to have spotted his family first, though Remus could not see anyone even resembling his friend there, and bid them all goodbye. Just before he left however, he whispered something to Remus.

"I know exactly how we can help you with your situation, Moony," he said. "Next year, we are going to turn ourselves into Animagi."

With no further ado, and before Remus could catch up with him and shake him for more information, James slipped through the crowds, his small stature disappearing in seconds, leaving Remus to wonder over his words.

**What is James talking about? What is the boy _thinking_? How is Sirius going to survive a summer with his mother in a very pissed-off mode? All this and more - on Sunday!**

**I hope that the lot of you liked this chapter! Next chapter would feature the Marauders' summer (much more important plot-wise than the previous summer, and definitely more fun to our dear, dear Remus, also featuring the girls and a little bit Quidditch, which I neglected in this chapter). Hope to see you there!**

**Tell me what you think!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	8. Bloodlines

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Ah, here we are - and on time, too! Not much to recount this time. No computer to bash or happy (or less so) things to babble about - just saying thanks again to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter, and that I hope you will like this chapter as well!

This chapter features the Marauders' summer!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Eight - Bloodlines**

The journey home was as normal as Remus could make it. He attempted to behave as he usually would have done, responding cheerfully to everything his mother had to say, telling her about the things he had done in school that year. Inside, however, his mind was dwelling on James' last words before the smaller boy bounded off to join his family. He could make neither head nor tail of the cryptic remark, and it bothered him.

Upon reaching home, the minute his trunk was safely stowed in his room, Remus climbed up to the house's attic and sat down to have a serious thinking.

The attic had been his refuge since he was very little. Before the Bite, whenever he felt troubled, he would go to his parents and ask for their help, but after the Bite he became a recluse and tended to wallow in his misery alone and out of sight. Every time he had felt lost, or depressed, or simply annoyed with the unfairness of life, he would go there and stay there, brooding, until his mother coaxed him down, usually aided by a cup of hot chocolate and words of comfort.

Since the Hogwarts letter had arrived two years before, he had rarely went up there, and even then only so he would have some quiet while doing his homework. That day, however, he needed the quiet, dusty surroundings to think and get a firm idea of what was going on in his friend's head.

Nothing good, that was for sure.

What did James mean? Where did he come across that idea? Animagi? And most important of all: was his friend out of his mind?

He had to talk with him.

Unfortunately, James' family was an all-wizard one, and a very traditional one at that, as attested by the robes he had worn on the very first day they had met and by his habitual empty expression whenever Remus mentioned anything even remotely Muggle. The only ways he could contact James over the summer was either by owl or by floo powder. The first could be ignored, and the second he hated with a passion. Not for the first time in his life he wished all-wizard families were not so narrow-minded about Muggle contraptions. He _really_ needed to show James how to use a telephone.

Luckily enough, he did not have to wait long for that specific conversation with James he was so determined on having. About a week into the summer holidays, a large Eagle owl flew into the Lupin household carrying a message for Remus.

"_Moony,_" it said.

"_Will you be able to come over to Potter Manor on the 19th of July? I checked it with Dad and he says it is well after the full moon (he had guessed that one of my friends suffers from lycanthropy and has assured me that they do not mind, so do not worry). Will you be well enough to join Sirius, Peter and I?_

"_However, should you decide to come, I must give you a word of caution. Mum has decided to invite Keira over for the rest of the summer, as Aunt Claire and Uncle Jerald are going abroad._

"_While this situation is lamentable, it can be tolerated. What cannot, under any circumstances, be tolerated, is that upon hearing of my intention to invite you lot over for a week or so, Mum has decided it would be a great idea to suggest that Keira would invite her own friends over as well, so that we could have a big Gryffindor bonding._

"_I assume that by now you have deducted by the use of your unsurpassable wit the meaning of this. Yes, my friend. We have the unfortunate prospect of enjoying a week in the dubious company of the entire Evans Crowd._

"_Bring your ear-plugs._

"_James._"

Remus chuckled. James' aristocratic upbringing may have not showed in everyday life, but the way he expressed his letter… priceless.

Without much hesitation he opened the trapdoor leading to the attic, stuck his head out of it and yelled "Mum!"

"What is it, dear?" floated the answer from the general direction of the kitchen, where he supposed she was already cooking dinner.

"Can I go to James' on the nineteenth? Will that be ok?"

"The nineteenth? I don't know, Remus. It's awfully close to full moon," her voice sounded reluctant to his ears, and quite a bit worried.

"Mum! It's _four days_ after full moon - I only need two days to recover. Please, Mum. Last summer I didn't get to see my friends, and they really do mean a lot to me. I'm really bored here without anyone to be around during the day, and I promise that I'll behave."

"Let's talk it over when your dad gets home, alright, sweetie? I can't just let you go without consulting with him. It wouldn't be proper."

"All right," he said with a sigh. It was useless to argue - he knew that all too well. The _let's talk it over with dad_ Routine usually meant that they were not going to let him have his way. He loved his parents dearly - they were the greatest set of parents he could have wished for, but sometimes… sometimes they were so bloody suffocating that he wanted to cry out in frustration.

Not that he had too many reasons to complain, really. His parents still loved him very much despite it all and cared deeply for him.

His father, even though he was a Muggle, accepted the knowledge of his son's condition rather well. He understood that there was nothing either he or his wife could do and did his best to make Remus' life enjoyable as possible. Remus wondered what would have happened had William Lupin had _not_ been a Muggle. Would he have rejected him? He was glad he never had to find out.

His mother, a high-ranking Ministry witch did all in her power to find a cure, but when she had finally accepted the fact that there was no way to reverse the effects of the Bite became so protective, doing her best to make sure that nothing else will plague her son's life. She loved him unconditionally and made his life much easier to bear.

Together they almost made him forget about his transformations. Almost.

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Surprisingly enough, his father thought the visit to Potter Manor was exactly what Remus needed. In fact, he was rather adamant about it, and did a marvelous job at convincing his wife that it was the right thing to do.

"They're the first true friends he had in his life, Saffron," Remus could hear his father working on his mother's conviction that the only way to keep him safe was to make him stay at home. The two of them were sitting in their cosy living room, believing that Remus had long ago turned in.

Eavesdropping was a naughty habit, his mother always said.

That was why he had picked it up from Sirius and James.

He was crouching against the hall's wall, his ear pressed to the wooden panels, his cloak wrapped tightly around him against the cold. The voices were quite easy for him to pick up, and he knew he could escape back to his room without one of them ever noticing he was listening in.

"I know! For Merlin's _sake_, William! I know! Don't you think I want what's best for our son? Don't you think I want him to be happy and to have friends like any other boy? But I know how prejudiced wizarding families can be! What if Remus let slip something? He's just a little boy - children his age are not so good at keeping secrets. What if one of his friends gets whiff of his condition and tells the grown-ups? They wouldn't want a… a werewolf around their children! I don't want Remus to suffer that all over again. Not now when he is so _happy_."

He heard his father sigh, and felt a little light of hope appear within him. "Saffron… you'll have to learn to let go. I know all about prejudice, believe me - we have that in the Muggle world as well. But Remus is no longer a little child - as hard as it is to admit. He's thirteen! He's so close to those children and from the bits and pieces I hear from the Wizarding World or pick up from reading your _Daily Prophet_ or listening to the WWN, the Potters are a decent lot. I doubt they'll treat Remus any different - even if they were to know he is a werewolf. _Trust_ our son for once. He can judge people on his own."

Remus did not want to hear any more. He silently crept back to his bedroom and went to sleep, a smile on his lips. The way it sounded, on the nineteenth of July, he would be heading to Potter Manor.

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Potter Manor was enormous.

Ever since meeting James, Remus had learned a lot about him and his family, usually by eavesdropping to other people's conversations. James never told much. He admitted to being a pure-blood and rich, and he had the mannerism of such a high-born boy, but he never openly told Remus anything. It seemed like he was keen on leaving a veil of mystery around his family, but for what reason, Remus did not know. From what he _had_ heard, everyone talked about how large was the wealth of the Potter family, and how prominent they were in the Wizarding World. They were a powerful family and Remus wanted to meet them and through them learn more about his friend. He knew very little of their connections and legacy, and even less about their heritage. He did not even know the names of James' parents.

Nothing of what he _did_ know had prepared him for the sight that met his eyes the moment he let go of the Portkey. As a high-ranking Ministry official, Mrs. Saffron Lupin was allowed certain… privileges - Among them the almost unlimited use of Portkeys. He also suspected that Mr. and Mrs. Potter pulled a few strings to make sure everything went smoothly. That much he did know about his friend's parents.

And so, on the afternoon of the nineteenth of July, Remus found himself standing next to his mother in front of the massive gates of Potter Manor, his mouth wide open in undisguised surprise.

The gates were a masterpiece of wrought iron, portraying magical beasts and delicately formed flowers. They connected to either end of an enormous grey wall with ivy draped over it like a crown. To either side of the gates was a marble statue, a gargoyle to one side, and a rearing griffin to the other. As they neared them, the griffin's beak moved and the stone creature politely inquired as to their names and business. After Remus' mother gave it both, the gates swung open almost without a sound, allowing them entry into what turned out to be extensive, lush grounds.

Smiling at his all-too-obvious owe, his mother laughed and took his hand, pulling him down a worn, paved path that cut straight through the gardens and grasses in front of them and straight to the heavy front doors of the old manor house which loomed ahead.

"Why did we have to identify ourselves, Mum?" he asked curiously, somewhat to show her that he was not an excited boy than anything else. He had a distinct feeling that he must have missed something of the little James _had_ told him of his life at home. This was certainly unexpected.

"Mr. and Mrs. Potter are very prominent members of the magic community, Remus," she explained, letting go of his hand and beginning to talk with her hands as she was prone to do when in her lecturing mode. "They were very high up in the ranks of the Aurors fighting the Dark wizard Grindelwald when they were young. They were right there with Albus Dumbledore when he had ended that man's life. There were quite a few attempts to… get rid of them in the past few years - even before this new Dark wizard started gaining power. I do believe that ridding the world of them is very high up in the list of things-to-do for that man. They are very influential still.

"Because of that, the Potter Manor has been secured so that no one may Apparate in or out of it - much like Hogwarts. There are many other security measures here - the Identification Statue being only one of them." She gave him a wry smile. "You have very important friends, Remus Lupin - even if you did not realize that up until now."

Though remaining silent, Remus thought that his mother was underestimating the matter. And she was most certainly right. He had absolutely no idea how important James' family was. It was quite intimidating in his eyes.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, they reached the front doors - a massive, double construction made of oak beams and metal bindings. There was a lion shaped knocker in the center of the door.

"Ever Gryffindors, those Potters," his mother laughed. "These things normally go in the family with those old, traditional Houses. The Potters are simply Gryffindor oriented. Not a single one of them in a different House for centuries." She then reached out and banged the knocker firmly against the doors.

One of the doors opened without a sound. In the dim light coming from inside, Remus could see a small figure standing on the threshold. A house-elf.

"How may Leaf be of service?" the elf squeaked in that familiar, high-pitched voice.

"My name is Saffron Lupin," his mother introduced herself politely, looking down at the elf. "I brought my son, Remus, here at young Master Potter's invitation."

"Oh, yes!" Leaf squeaked. "Master James could speak of nothing but his dear friend's arrival! Come! Come! He is waiting in the drawing room! Please leave your belongings here and Leaf will come later and put them in place."

"I must be off now, dear," his mother said. "Behave nicely, and don't cause trouble to Mr. and Mrs. Potter." She then hugged him tight before heading back towards the manor's gates from which she would Apparate back home. Only giving her retreating figure a fleeting glance, Remus crossed the threshold into Potter Manor.

Remus entered the shadowy entrance hall after the elf, leaving his backpack on the floor. It was about half the size of the Hogwarts' Entrance Hall and just as decorated, only with the crest of the Potter family and portraits of the Potter ancestors to replace the important figures of Hogwarts' history. He followed Leaf up a case of wide marble steps and down a few wide corridors. Everything was ornamented, everything screamed wealth at him, though he had to admit that the person to do the decorating had taste. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Leaf opened a large door and motioned Remus to enter.

The room beyond the ornate door was large, airy and brightly lit. A huge window, flanked by heavy, dark-blue drapes that were gathered to each side by a golden, twisted rope, let in the afternoon sun which reflected on a magnificent piano and an extensive library. Next to a roaring, lion-engraved fireplace, were his three friends, engaged in a furious game of Exploding Snap on the scorched hearthrug.

He stood next to the door for a few minutes, quietly taking it all in, not alerting them to his presence. James was busily collecting his reward for winning that round - a large pile of various sweets and other odds and ends. He was smirking broadly at Sirius, who was scowling at his best friend, nursing a singed hand. Peter was laughing so hard that he slipped back, hitting the carpeted floor with a thud. That was when he spotted Remus, immediately turning on his stomach, grinning at him.

"Moony!" the boy greeted. "Long time no see! When did you get here?"

James and Sirius also looked up, alerted by Peter, and grinned at their friend.

Remus smiled. "Not too long ago. I've been watching you for a couple of minutes now. You've got quite a place here, James."

"You haven't seen nothing yet, Remus!" Peter said excitedly, picking himself from the ground. "You missed the guided tour yesterday. They've got _everything_ in this place - I kid you not!"

"Not _everything_, surely," James said modestly, but his eyes twinkled. "Just the little place we like to call home."

Sirius snorted. "Let's see, Moony, shall we? Our dear friend James here has his own lake, extensive grounds, twenty bedrooms, twelve bathrooms, a library almost as big as the Hogwarts one, his own bloody _Quidditch_ _pitch_, a _huge_ owlery, a stable containing a dozen horses-"

"Don't forget the gnome community, Sirius," Peter supplied cheerfully.

"-A gnome community, did I leave anything out, James?"

"All right, all right," James laughed. "I admit it. We _are_ well endowed. But the place has been in the family for ages - things are bound to get collected."

His words soon encouraged the boys into a full-fledged mock-battle, which ended with the four of them laughing on the carpet, the chess pieces of the nearby chessboard they had knocked over in their moment of pure boyishness screaming bloody murder at them. After a while of just lying there, laughing, though, James sobered up, picking himself off the floor and looking down on them. "Keira and the Evans Crowd will be arriving tomorrow. We have only that short while to make our plans for next year."

"What - you mean prank plan and all?" Sirius asked. "It would be more fitting to do that on the train back to school."

"No," James said slowly. "I mean something I've been considering ever since that detention we got for the fireworks writing in the Great Hall - but this is not the place to discuss it. Let's go to my room. I had it well protected last summer."

He led the way up a few flights of stairs made of a dark, heavy wood and covered by a cream-coloured carpet, continuing through a door made of oak and into a long, red-carpeted corridor. The paneled walls had several doors in them, and in-between doors there were nice magical paintings of generations of Potters, James explained, waving cheerily at some of the people in the portraits.

"This is where you and Peter are staying, Moony," he pointed a closed door to the left. "Sirius is sleeping in my room - it's the last door down the hall, don't bother to knock. That's _your_ bathroom - it has a door opening to your bedroom as well, so don't forget locking both doors if you don't tell Peter that you've gone in.

"Make sure you don't go into those three rooms," he indicated three doors across the hall from Remus and Peter's room. "That's Keira, Banks and Evans', that's the Carn twins', and the one in the middle is their bathroom. Mum said not to dare enter them or there will be serious trouble. Don't tempt fate when Mum tells you that, even though these are _my_ quarters, so I don't know why I have to have the girls here. It's not like we don't have other guest rooms.

"Here we are," he stopped before the last door down the hall and, opening it, motioned them all to enter.

The decorations in the room were rather… unexpected, so to say. Remus knew James was a great Quidditch fanatic, therefore he expected the walls to be covered with posters of his favourite teams and all sorts of Quidditch assortments. He did not expect them to be covered by paintings and framed photographs. He gave them a quick glance before surveying the rest of the room. Most of them were of scenic views and of magical animals, and, as his eyes progressed down the wall, became much more professional and realistic.

In the center of the room was a king-sized four-posters with heavy scarlet velvet drapes, reminding him of their beds in Gryffindor Tower, only far more extravagant, and next to it a smaller bed, apparently erected especially for Sirius.

There was a clean desk on which were a screwed-closed inkwell, several eagle feather quills, an orderly stack of parchment and a few ornate frames holding several more photographs. Remus was surprised to see a photo of the four of them together amongst them. He never knew one had been taken.

"Who did these?" he asked James, gesturing at the paintings and photos.

James seemed slightly embarrassed, his cheeks flushed. He also seemed to find his shoes mightily fascinating.

Sirius cackled evilly, drawing Remus' attention. "There's something Jamesie-poo here was hiding from everyone at Hogwarts, Moony. And the thing is that he is quite the little artist. Aren't you, James?"

James was _very_ red by then, decisively avoiding looking at his friends. He finally nodded. "I did them. And you'd better keep that quiet the three of you! No one knows about this - you know that, Sirius!"

"Not even your parents?" Remus asked curiously, seeing that the other two had already been warned about the matter several times.

James shrugged. "Dad knows because it's his camera I use when I want to photo-shoot things, and Mum knows because she taught me how to draw. They promised to keep it to themselves. 'sides, they always come into my room, so even if they didn't know from the beginning it'd have been inevitable that they would have found out."

"Why are you so ashamed of liking to draw, James?" Remus did not relent, stepping nearer to the procession of pictures on the wall, examining them closely. He had to admit that James had an unearthly amount of talent in almost everything he set his mind to do.

James sighed. "Because I'd be teased mercilessly, that's why. Imagine _Keira_ getting her hands on that information. The whole school will know of it in a blink of an eye! I just don't want that. I have a reputation to keep and all that."

"For how long…?"

"I've been painting since I was seven and photo-shooting since last year. But-" He shook his head. "-That's not why we're here for, is it? We haven't got much time - so sit down."

With this abrupt change of subject, they all settled down.

"Well," James began, a determined expression on his face, "as Moony here knows, back when we had that detention - remember? When we turned Banks into that weird furry thing and then thanked McGonagall for naming us ever-so-aptly? Well, Moony and I were in the library and we found a book which someone forgot to put back. A _restricted_ book. I don't know how it managed to be overlooked by the crone, I just know that it had.

"We've been discussing ways of helping Moony during his transformations for a few months now, and came up with nothing. But I think I have the perfect solution. That solution landed in front of me almost like an answer to all our problems." He got up and opened a drawer in his desk, withdrawing a thick, old volume. He put it in front of them, face up.

_Animagi Studies - Advanced Transfiguration in Easy-to-Learn Steps._

"We, my friends," he continued, "are going to become Animagi."

The silence that followed was soon punctured by Sirius' whistle. "Are you bloody insane, James? _Animagi_? That's impossible! We're not even third years! And besides, what good will that do to Moony?"

James grinned evilly. "Remember last year when you suggested we'd join Moony on his transformations? When he blew up on us? He was quite right you know. Did a bit of research on the subject before I decided this was our best course of action. If a werewolf gets near a human being, its first urge is to kill. Destroy the one facing it. It has a craving for human blood - no offense, Moony. A werewolf during full moon is a menace to humans. So you all must agree that being around a werewolf like this is impossible for the three of us.

"Then, however, when I had my hands on this book, it struck me. Werewolves can't be around _humans_ when transformed. But no one said they can't be around animals."

He gave them time to process this idea, a triumphant look pointed at Remus specifically, as if daring him to challenge his solution. Then, Sirius' stunned face lit, words spilling out of his mouth in growing excitement. "If werewolves pose no danger to animals, and animagi take all properties of the animal they transform into…then they'd be no danger to Animagi. Which means… James, my boy! You found a perfect solution!"

Remus, however, did not agree. Glaring at the beaming James, he growled "Absolutely _not_," with finality. His eyes were narrowed and he tried showing with the whole of his being his disapproval, if not complete aversion of the idea.

"What? But, Remus!"

"No!"

"Why not, Remus?" Peter asked. He seemed half excited, half terrified at the prospect of turning into an Animagi, and even though Remus felt like he was fighting a lost case just looking at the three chagrined yet little hopeful faces turned his way, he was determined to stand his ground.

"Are the three of you out of your _minds_! Do you know how advanced Animagi studies are! You could end up dead - or… or… or _stuck_. I can't have you do this! Not for me!" he glared at his friends vehemently. This was his last word on the subject. The last word - no question about that.

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_Why did I let them talk me into this?_ Remus thought the next day as he was staring at his friends making lists of what they would need for the whole Animagi process.

"James!" a strangely thin woman's voice came from outside the room, interrupting their work and Remus' angst-filled musings. Knowing James, Remus expected his mother's voice to be much more robust.

"Oh, bugger!" James swore. "Mum's back! And she probably brought Keira and the Crowd with her!"

Due to certain circumstances, which James did not explain, the Potter couple was not at home the previous night, so Remus (Sirius had already been a guest at the Potter household twice before and Peter had arrived a day before Remus) never got to meet them. James had assured Remus however, that they both knew of his condition and accepted it with no question. He was still a trifle nervous meeting them, though.

"Coming, Mum!" James yelled, stuffing their papers into the space between his mattress and its wooden frame, and then hurriedly pulled on a dark blue robe over his Muggle clothes, shortly explaining that his parents were rather traditional and were quite insistent on him wearing robes while in the house, and that he tended to humour them whenever they were home.

Then the four boys trooped out of James' bedroom and down to the drawing room.

In the chairs next to the fireplace sat Laura and Gavin Potter, James' parents, ex-Aurors. Though his mother referred to them as the top Aurors in Grindlewald's days, it had never occurred to Remus that they would be older than their forties. However, the couple in front of him was much older than he had expected, possibly in their sixties, if not older.

Mrs. Potter was mostly silver-haired, but streaks of ginger still showed through, giving a hint as to the vibrant colour her hair had been in her younger days, and had kind hazel eyes - much like her son's - and they showed that the spirit behind them was still young, even though the body was not. She was rather tall and was wearing elegant pale-green robes.

Mr. Potter had obviously passed his son the unruly black hair and the lean stature. Though his hair had more white in it than black, Remus could see the way James would look when he grew older.

"Mum, Dad," James acknowledged, going to them and giving them each a kiss and a hug. Until the moment James proclaimed them Mum and Dad, Remus still retained the thought that they might be his grandparents.

"James, darling," Mrs. Potter said in that same thin voice which was nonetheless clear, enveloping her son in her long, still slender arms. "So sorry we couldn't make it home for dinner last night. We had a rough day at the convention. Was everything all right?" And as he nodded, she looked at the other boys. "Sirius, Peter! Lovely to see you both again! And you…" she turned her eyes to Remus. "You must be Remus. Fantastic to meet you at last! I trust you found our adjustments to your room satisfactory?"

The adjustments the Potter couple made especially for him were to remove everything silver from the room he shared with Peter, and, as he noticed later, they had also moved anything silver out of reach in all parts of the house he was liable to go through. He had found it very touching, that they would take such careful measures in order to ensure his safety. And so, smiling shyly, he nodded, receiving an answering smile that lit her entire face.

Then Mr. Potter greeted them as well, finishing by telling James that "Your favourite cousin is giving her friends a guided tour around the house. I'm sure they'll be joining us in time for dinner." He then added a wink to his words, seeing James' expression.

"Be polite to Keira, dear," Mrs. Potter told her son, as though reading his thoughts. "It would show bad manners to do otherwise."

The phrase the heir to the House of Potter used as an answer shall not be repeated.

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"Why are we using the gold cutlery, Aunt Laura?" Keira asked, examining the table set for dinner after she and the girls entered the dining room. "Aren't we usually using the silver on normal dinners?"

"Because this is a Gryffindor House bonding!" Mrs. Potter replied without a blink of an eye, nothing in her face betraying the truth. "We cannot display Slytherin colours, now can we?"

Remus appreciated the swift answer. James' mother could certainly think on her feet.

"Did you and the girls have a nice afternoon?" Mrs. Potter continued, kindly smiling at Evans, Haley, Rowena and Wren.

"We did," Keira said, smiling back, then scowling at James the moment her aunt's back was turned. The others girls, including the hard-to-impress Evans, were much too awed by the grandeur around them to say anything. Apparently Remus was not the only one to be surprised.

To say that dinner was an awkward affair would be an understatement. By some wicked trick of fortune (or of Mr. Potter; Remus would not have put it beyond him), James and Evans were seated next to each other, forced to be polite to each other by the presence of his parents, but still glaring at each other continuously. The Gryffindor girls, though still awed by the invite they had received to stay at such a splendid place for the week, were very wary of sharing dinner with the Marauders. Remus suspected that if it was not for the presence of the two grown-ups, who seemed quite at ease, the five would have bolted out as soon as dessert was finished.

When the fantastic dinner was over, Mrs. Potter offered they will all adjourn to the drawing room to have a cup of hot chocolate there and then withdraw for the night.

A grand idea, had it not been for James' twisted sense of mischief.

Leaf, the house elf (one out of eight, so James had explained), brought an ornate silver tray (Remus made sure he was well away of _that_) with a large pot, a ladle and eleven porcelain cups on it. Mrs. Potter passed filled cups to everyone. While drinking, they all chatted of insignificant things - school and Quidditch, plans for next year and books. It was a pleasant evening, for as long as it went that way.

All of a sudden, James got up and made to refill his cup. On his way back to his seat, he seemed to stumble on an invisible fold in the carpet, and the hot chocolate spilled all over Evans' knees. Evans started screaming bloody murder as the liquid hit her and James tried to apologize again and again, sounding sincerely sorry. Remus had almost bought it - but then he saw the malicious glint in his friend's eye.

After that they had no other choice but to wrap the evening up and go their separate ways. Evans did not want to be in the same space as James any longer and she made it very, very clear when she called him by a few very unfaltering names, threatening him that she would get back at him for that.

Later that night, when they congregated in James' room again, Remus confronted him.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"What? Spill the drink on Evans? Yeah, why?"

"That was foul, James."

"Oh, I know _that_," the short boy shrugged, not caring. "But she deserved it for what she told me at dinner."

"What did she say?" Sirius asked curiously. "I didn't hear her saying anything, nor did I see her so much as move her lips in your direction."

"That's because she was whispering, you oaf, and she was doing that while she was bending to pick up her fork when it fell off the table. She said I'm a bloody spoilt brat and that I don't deserve having the parents I have. I felt obliged to get back at her." Their friend sounded resolute, and Remus realized that there was no way to make him see the error of his ways.

He sighed, shaking his head. It was going to be a long year…

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Two days after that disastrous evening, the boys were sitting in the drawing room, playing Exploding Snap yet again. The girls had kept their distance from them, opting to spend their week in Potter Manor sitting outside in the sun, taking advantage of the warm spell of weather, laughing and doing girly things that the boys found very obscure.

To be quite honest, Remus was getting bored of playing cards and chess. He was also running out of ideas to keep his friends' minds away from the Animagi project they were so keen on. Finally, he said "Let's do something different today. We haven't been outside _once_ since I arrived."

"How about we play Quidditch?" Sirius asked excitedly. "We haven't done that yet, and this year there will be positions open in the House team!"

Remus shrugged. Quidditch was James and Sirius' great passion. Not his. He was a good enough flyer, but he did not understand the excitement with which his friends talked about brooms and teams. He just did not understand. Then again, they had the same dispute concerning books, with them not understanding what _he_ found in those rectangle objects, so he did not say anything. He _did_ make a face, though.

"We could go to Diagon Alley. Mum got a new batch of floo powder last week," James suggested, seeing Remus' expression. "It should be nice enough at this time of day - not many people about."

"That's a great idea!" Sirius said enthusiastically, his mind changed in seconds. "Let me get my money bag - right? Be right back."

"Me, too," Remus added. "Bring you your own, Peter?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"We'll meet you in the living room - I'll just tell Mum where we're going," James said and the four boys scrambled out of the room.

James' mother had indeed gotten a new batch of floo powder, and the Marauders soon found themselves in the Leaky Cauldron, brushing soot off their clothes.

"Where shall we go to first?" Remus asked innocently.

"The Quidditch shop!" came the enthusiastic response.

"I should've known," he muttered at the unanimous reply, but allowed himself to be dragged along, realizing that it would be futile to resist. His two friends were very excited at the prospect of being able to tryout for the team that year, since two positions were vacated with the leaving of the Captain and one of the beaters.

They spent more than an hour in the Quidditch supplies shop - up until he managed to drag his friends out of there, pleading with them and nagging them until they complied.

"Really, Moony! You're no fun!" James complained, making a pouting face. Of the three of them, James was the worst, and Remus had no doubt that if he ever got on the team, he would end up Captain at some point.

"I know," he said indifferently, inside rejoicing at his victory over the Powers of Quidditch. "Now let's got somewhere else."

"Where to?"

"Flourish and Blotts?"

"Not the _book shop_!"

"No!"

"Anything but the book shop! Anything, Moony!"

"Well, well. What have we here?"

The boys' friendly squabble was cut short by an unpleasant, nasal voice. The speaker was a tall woman in dark, elaborate robes. Her black hair was held up in an old-fashioned net of silver filigree and her grey eyes looked piercingly at them, making Remus feel as though he was subjected to an interrogation. There was something distinctly unpleasant in the way her eyes surveyed them. She also looked as though she had a pile of dung or something similar under her nose, for she wrinkled it at them.

"Hello, Mother," Sirius said sourly.

"Sirius. You seem to have rolled into vile company."

"No company is viler than yours, Mother dear."

If Remus was appalled at discovering this woman was his friend's mother, it was nothing in comparison to his astonishment at Sirius' behaviour towards her. It seemed as though Sirius had transformed in front of his very eyes into a completely different person. The person he had been before James had come out to his defence two years before.

"Watch your tongue, boy. I expect you back no later than tomorrow evening. Any tardiness shall not go unpunished. Are we clear on that?"

"Perfectly," Sirius growled.

"Good. Come along, Regulus."

"Yes, Mother."

It was only then that Remus noticed a boy - very similar in stature to Sirius - tall for his age, with black hair and grey eyes. In the same time, however, he was entirely different. Whereas Sirius was cheerful and outgoing - _this_ boy was clearly sullen and closed. In him Remus could see the old Sirius, and he was thankful for the day his friend had changed. Sirius watched both go. Remus noticed that when his mother's back was turned, Regulus made a very rude gesture in Sirius' direction and mouthed "See you later, _big brother_."

"And that was my dear mother - and my little brother," Sirius said bitterly to Remus and Peter. "Get used to seeing the little twerp around, because you'll be seeing a _lot_ of him in the next five years."

After that incidence the Marauders did not stay for long at the Alley, their spirit of fun and mischief dampened by the unpleasant exchange. The fact that his break from his less-than-pleasant home life had been cut short by the unplanned incidence made Sirius sullen and put him in a very dark mood. It had surprised Remus, since his friend was very cheerful during the three days they had been together at Potter Manor, mentioning nothing of his home.

"She burnt Andy right off the tapestry," the tall boy said quietly as they all stood outside the fireplace at the Potters' drawing room.

"What do you mean?" James asked gently, the only one of them who dared pry into Sirius' life.

"Remember I told you about the family tree we have at home?" Sirius asked, the question directed at James, who had apparently understood what the other boy was talking about and nodded. "Mum blasted Andy's name off on the very day I got back home. She waited for me to enter, and then deliberately, making sure I was watching, blasted her right off the tapestry with her wand. There's now a hole where she used to be, between Bella and Cissy. She's a sick, sick woman."

The other three did not know what to say to that. The three of them had led more or less sheltered lives, with loving parents despite all the troubles they had encountered. Sirius did not even have that. All he had was Hogwarts. Hogwarts and the three of them. They provided him the escape he so sorely needed.

The next day, however, Sirius' mood seemed to return to it cheerful self. He mocked James who would have to live with the Evans Crowd for three more days without any of them to help. Remus and Peter, not wanting Sirius to feel alone and far from them all had decided to go back home themselves, leaving their poor friend in the clutches of the girls. The miserable expression on James' face as the three of them trooped into the drawing room, ready to depart via floo, was enough to send Sirius into fits of laughter.

He was still laughing as he whirled away in the green flames, and James smugly said that at least the git would have ashes in his mouth by the time he arrived home.

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The second month of summer went by almost without any notable events. Remus constantly received letters from James, who at first dejectedly reported on his sad existence sharing one house and one corridor with the Evans Crowd. His friend had spent the rest of that week closeted in his room, absorbed in the stolen restricted book (something that made Remus uneasy again as he read James' letter), making notes that might help them in later stages.

The letters after that were much more cheerful, reporting of everything amusing that happened at the manor, or strange incidences in the Ministry or in Diagon Alley. It sounded as though James went all over England during August, which made Remus slightly jealous.

Peter also wrote almost every week, informing Remus that his mother was pampering him beyond measure, and that, frankly, he desperately wanted the summer to end so he could go back to Hogwarts and away from her. He also confessed that he was being stuffed full of food, and therefore that Remus should not be alarmed if the already-pudgy boy would appear on the train on the first of September looking like a balloon.

As for Sirius, there was no word from him. James, however, wrote to tell Remus that their friend would not be able to communicate with him over the summer, due to a severe case of monstrous mother, who was very angry still at her son's behaviour in Diagon Alley. When Remus enquired as to how James knew that, the other boy said that Sirius managed to come over for the day and spend it with him, away from home. After that he had gotten one owl, saying that he was grounded to his room, his parents being even more angry than before.

All in all, Remus found himself anticipating his third year at Hogwarts with much excitement.

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Remus could not believe he was back on the Hogwarts Express so soon. It seemed like only last week when he had departed from Potter Manor, laughing at both James and Sirius. He was so excited he practically shot out of the car the minute it had stopped.

Yet again he bid goodbye to his mother outside the platform and then crossed the barrier and stepped onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters. He was almost at Hogwarts. Just seeing the steaming scarlet engine made him smile broadly. That year was going to be good. He just knew it.

Just as he was about to head for the train, his trunk in tow and his owl's cage securely held in hand, he bumped into a familiar face.

"Remus, dear boy!" Mr. Potter said cheerfully. "How are you doing? Just left James on the train, he'll be glad to see you, I warrant."

"Good morning, Mr. Potter. I'm fine, thank you. I suppose I'll see you again in June?"

"Indeed, indeed. Have a good year, do you hear?" He then hurried off.

Climbing aboard the train, he started looking for his friends. James was waiting for him in the compartment they had occupied on their very first Hogwarts Express trip, just one car away. He was alone, reading that book he had filched from the library again. It was rather bizarre seeing James Potter reading a book, Remus felt. It was always _his_ job to be the bookworm. The only times he had ever seen James reading was either when it was something related to Quidditch or to pranks.

"Hello, James," he greeted, somewhat disappointed that he had not managed making James jump. All the other boy did was nod absently at him without picking up his face. "Where are Peter and Sirius?"

"Sirius isn't here yet, don't know why, and Peter's on the platform, saying goodbye to his mum - that woman is overbearing, even if I do say so myself." James' eyes never left the book.

With a sigh, Remus took out a book of his own out of his schoolbag and settled next to James. They were soon joined by Peter, who had finally managed shaking his mother away. The small boy made an exasperated remark at his clingy mother, but then settled down and started going through his bag for a pack of Exploding Snap.

"It's nearly eleven," Remus said after a while, glancing at his wristwatch. "If Sirius isn't going to be here soon he's going to miss the train."

Almost as soon as the words had left his mouth, the door to the compartment slid open violently, and a very foul tempered Sirius Black entered, muttering curses, his whole countenance angry. His eyes practically shot lightening.

"Sirius, mate!" James greeted, ignoring their friend's profanities and smiling at him widely. "Where were you?"

"Getting rid of obnoxious relatives. Regulus starts Hogwarts this year, if you remember. Three guesses to what House he'll be sorted," he said sourly.

"That bad? Not even a chance for a second Andromeda?"

"Not on your life."

"How _is_ Andromeda, anyway?" Remus asked curiously, remembering only too well the mess of last Easter. "How does she get along without the family's help?"

"Absolutely fantastic, actually," Sirius said, his foul mood clearing somewhat. "Ted's parents are very supportive, and they help her with everything she needs. And get that - she was already pregnant when they got married. We only heard about it through Alphard, who quite gleefully announced it when he came by for a family dinner halfway through August. Mum threw a fit when she finally found out - but that's nothing compared to _dear Auntie_. The woman couldn't believe her daughter would shame her like that. It was quite funny, actually, Mum locked herself up in her room for more than a week - the quietest time we ever had in our lives, I reckon."

"So she's pregnant? How far along?" James asked in interest. Andromeda was his cousin's best friend, and so he knew her a bit more than Remus or Peter did.

"Baby is due around September. Turns out she was four months along when they got married, but she used some sort of glamour to hide it. They weren't sure how well it would go with Ted's family - not to speak of _our_ family…"

After that the topics of conversation became less loaded with emotions. Yet again they spent the ride discussing pranks and the new subjects they will be taking that year (They all signed up for Care of Magical Creatures, Sirius, Peter and James took Muggle Studies - under Remus' insistence - while Remus took Arithmancy, James and Remus went to Ancient Runes, while Sirius and Peter chose Divination - "Easy subject to get high grades in without much effort," Sirius said in a tone that resembled his true one much more than before, and Remus dared to hope that his friend would cheer up entirely by the time the train would arrive at Hogsmeade Station).

It was a pleasant ride, there was no doubt about that

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By the time they arrived Hogwarts, the Marauders had a very detailed plan for the year. They continued discussing it as they climbed into a horseless carriage.

"We _still_ haven't settled on what's pulling these things," Peter suddenly said.

"Yes, we did," Sirius contradicted. "Pixies - remember?"

"No, we didn't. _You_ said Pixies. And besides, they're more liable to be Bowtruckles, if anything."

"Not on your _life_, Peter! Bowtruckles are protective of _trees_. Why should they pull carriages?"

"Why would Pixies pull carriages? I'm sure they have much better things to do than pulling carriages around - and besides, the carriages are made of wood, aren't they? Maybe they're made of wood the Bowtruckles guard?"

"_Listen_ to yourself, Peter, why don't you. They guard _trees_. This tree is _dead_, ceased to be! Why would they keep guarding a corpse?"

"Because they're tied up to it by magic?"

Remus and James grinned at each other. That year will be the best they had as yet.

**What will happen now that the Marauders have a set plan? Will they succeed with that plan, becoming Animagi? Will Regulus be a pain in their collective arse? All that and more - next chapter (which will appear on Wednesday, as promised)!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	9. The Things We Do

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Welcome to yet another Wednesday update! I have not failed you! Admittedly, I did not update my other story yesterday as promised, but I did not do that with this one as well! On that note, to all of you who happen to read _Fall from Grace_, update would be only tomorrow evening, along with my excuses as to why I did not update yesterday ;)

What do we have on this chapter? A great part of the Marauders' third year and with it the very beginning of their Animagi research, puberty hits to some extent and Quidditch finally makes an appearance! Hope you like!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Nine - The Things We Do**

As the Marauders walked into the Great Hall, Remus noted that Sirius' bad mood faded almost entirely. His continued argument with Peter concerning what pulls the carriages had helped him shed the last vestiges of his anger. He waved to a few people of his acquaintance and shouted greetings to others, attracting the attention of many others, some of whom smiled, while others scowled at his exhibition of loudness.

Suddenly, his eyes brightened considerably, whatever was left of his melancholy gone. He marched quickly to the Gryffindor table, his friends in tow, a big smile on his face. Remus did not realize where they were going until the last possible moment.

"Why, Keira, love!" Sirius grinned at James' cousin, his voice even louder than before. "Long time no see. How _was_ your holiday? I missed you _so_ much!"

Keira rolled her eyes but otherwise ignored him, turning back to Evans, who gave the Marauders a murderous glare and resumed talking with her friends. It seemed as though the animosity between the two groups had only intensified since the disastrous Potter versus Evans skirmish at Potter Manor a month before. The Marauders all backed James up (to some extent, anyway, if you asked Remus) and the Evans Crowd stood behind everything their undisputed leader had decided.

Sirius, however, was not so easily discouraged. Indeed, hardly anything _ever_ discouraged the boy, and Remus knew that only too well. Ignoring James' vehement shake of head, Sirius took the seat next to Keira, and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side. "I missed you _so_ much!" he declared again gleefully.

Keira, a look of disgust on her face, took hold of his arm and pushed it off her, then scooted away from him, glaring. "Touch me again, Black, and I will not be held responsible to my actions," she gritted.

"Ouch! You hurt me, love. You hurt me real bad," Sirius said, feigning a tragic pose, the back of his hand going to his forehead. Keira only snorted derisively at that and proceeded to ignore him.

As Sirius did not seem to want to move away from the girls, the other three resigned to sit next to him. James in particular was reluctant to stay there, sending equally angry looks to both his best friend and his cousin.

Remus watched with growing amusement as Sirius attempted to chat Keira up. It was a great change in the Sirius he knew. The old Sirius was a little boy from head to toe - thinking girls to be disgusting and not worthy of his attention. _This_ Sirius, however, saw girls as a new goal to be achieved. He could not prove it, but he started to think that Sirius' eccentric behaviour - starting with the pranks and now with his changed view on Keira - was all meant to provoke his family. He seemed to take great pleasure in that, managing to get the upper hand on them in a few petty issues.

In the meantime, the new first years finally arrived into the Hall, cold and anxious, and stood in a line in front of the entire school. Remus could see some of them shivering with fright. As he glanced sideways, however, he could see that Sirius had abandoned his flirting with Keira and that his intense grey eyes were fixed on a boy standing in the middle of the line. He recognized the boy immediately. There was no mistaking Regulus Black's regal, arrogant stature, and the sharp grey eyes that were so much like his brother's and then so much different.

Professor Flitwick brought the Sorting Hat, which sang its song, followed by thunderous clapping. Soon after, McGonagall started reading the names of the first years, and the Sorting began.

When the name "Black, Regulus!" was called, Sirius stiffened and his eyes narrowed. His raptor gaze did not leave his little brother's form for one moment. He did not even blink. The Marauders, as well as the entire school (after all, it was not every day that you saw a Black being sorted, and many remembered Sirius' shocking sorting), watched as the tall, thin boy headed for the Hat. He walked with a straight back and his head held up high. Again, Remus could not help but compare him to Sirius, who had done exactly the same only two years before. The difference, however, was that while Sirius had only been resigned to be content with what he had expected to be the Hat's decision, Regulus would revel in it.

Remus watched in apprehension as Regulus put on the Hat and waited for merely a second before it declared "SLYTHERIN!" in a booming voice. He then put the Hat down just as regally as he had acted from the very beginning, and stood up proudly, looking Sirius straight in the eye as if to say "_this_ is where a true Black should go."

He then walked to the Slytherin table amid polite clapping from other tables and loud ones from his own table. In the midst of all the cheering Slytherins, the Marauders could see Regulus taking a seat by the beaming - or rather smirking - Narcissa, and both pierced Sirius with a smug, arrogant looks.

The third year Gryffindors could all clearly hear Sirius' low mutterings. He was using the worst words in his vocabulary. He held the looks of both his brother and cousin, then, slowly, as if to make sure that they would see it, send a very rude gesture their way, then, plastering a smile on his face, turned back to Keira, ignoring the rest of the first years.

Once the Sorting was done, the feast began. Remus enjoyed it as usual, but like his fellow conspirators, waited anxiously for Dumbledore's start-of-term speech following the feast. It was tradition, after all. They could not pass up the chance.

"Dear students!" Dumbledore finally started after all plates were clear. "I am glad to see you all here for another year at Hogwarts School!"

"Do it already, Sirius!" James muttered, kicking his friend beneath the table.

"Oh, right!" Sirius smacked himself and pointed his wand at Dumbledore.

"- and as QUACK usual, a QUACK few notes! QUACK The Forbidden QUACK Forest is QUACK completely out QUACK of bounds…"

For his entire speech, after every second word, Professor Dumbledore uttered an ear-deafening QUACK. The entire school watched him in amazement as he seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact, smiling benignly at his staring students. The first years in particular, Remus noted, stared at the venerable-looking old man in wide-eyed shock. It was just their first day in Hogwarts, and already they were introduced to its eccentricities.

The Marauders could hardly contain themselves. However, they had made it their point to not get caught on their very first prank of the year, and therefore forced themselves to maintain a shocked expression on their faces. Remus could see that Peter almost lost it several times during the speech. James, as usual, sported his best poker-face, not letting anything escape his tight control. Sirius' eyes twinkled.

"D…did you see… McGonagall's _face_!" James managed finally late that night when they were in their dorm, at last able to voice the amusement he had felt all evening long. Once the poker-faced boy broke out laughing, the others shortly followed, and for a while all there was to hear in the dorm was their loud laughter.

After managing to calm down somewhat, Remus considered the dorm around them and shook his head in mild disbelief. It was absolutely astonishing - the amount of mess four boys could cause in so little time. Less than two hours after arriving back at Hogwarts, the meticulously tidy dormitory was returned to the chaos it had been in right before the four had left it the year before. He was quite certain that James' room in the manor was never messy - but then again, it may have been Mrs. Potter's domineering presence. She did not seem to be a woman who held with messy rooms and shabby clothing.

He supposed Hogwarts was James' outlet in that way.

"So… what's with you hitting on my cousin?" James asked Sirius after regaining his composure. His eyebrows were raised as he lay on his bed, leaning on one elbow, and his eyes were fixed on his friend.

"Dunno how you didn't notice this before, James, but your cousin is one hot wench," Sirius said with a wide grin, making it impossible to figure if he had truly meant it or if he was only playing with both cousins.

Remus had to stifle a snigger. James looked so shocked at Sirius' words. It took him a few moments to gain control on his voice again and say "You - you think Keira's _hot_? I'm sorry, are we talking about the same Keira? My _cousin_ Keira? Keira _Palmer_?"

Sirius nodded nonchalantly and, ignoring James' spluttering attempts to get to the bottom of the matter, strode off to the bathroom, humming a song off-key as he went.

James stared after his best friend with an unfathomable expression.

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The next morning, at breakfast, Remus carefully observed Keira, making sure no one noticed him do it. He had lots of practice in that department. After considering it for a while, he had to admit, that yes, James' cousin _was_ uncommonly attractive for her age. However, he did not think it surprising that James had not noticed. She was his cousin after all.

Keira had let her hair grow over the last month of summer, and now it was held high in a pretty way with the aid of a few hairpins. Her blue eyes twinkled in a way very similar to the way James' own twinkled before a prank was executed, but Remus knew that both would deny it vehemently if confronted with the fact.

He shook his head exasperatedly. It was absolutely impossible to understand the two. They were simply too confusing, their relationship of hate very peculiar, if one noted how similar they were.

As it were, however, all those thoughts were driven out of his mind soon after, with a very shocking discovery.

The next day, when they were sitting in Transfiguration classroom for their morning lesson, on time, in honour of the first lesson of the year, McGonagall had a surprise for them. For one thing, she was not in the classroom when the third years had arrived, which in itself was unusual. Instead, there was only a tabby cat, sitting on the teacher's desk, soon after jumping off and walking all over the room.

"It's not like Minnie to be late," Sirius whispered to his friends, looking around him.

They were sitting at the very back of the class as they did for the past two years, and it was lucky that they did, because when the tabby cat prowling the passages between the desks transformed into their teacher, Sirius let a loud oath escape his lips and James blanched visibly.

"She's an Animagus!" he gasped.

"Well spotted, four-eyes," Keira hissed nastily from her desk, a row ahead, but from her tone Remus felt she was just as impressed. The other students were also gasping and others clapped enthusiastically, vying for her to do it again.

"Yes, Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said sternly. "I am an Animagus - and Mr. Black? Next time you feel the urge to use that dirty language in my classroom I _will_ deduct points. And to business, who can tell me what an Animagus _is_?"

No one was surprised to see Lily Evans' and Remus' hands in the air. They _were_ surprised, however, to see that the three other Marauders were holding up their hands as well and voluntarily at that.

"Mr. Pettigrew?" McGonagall called, a bit shocked herself that the quiet, often overlooked Peter actually dared to raise his hand.

"Professor, an Animagus is a wizard - or a witch - who can turn themselves at will into an animal."

"Very good, Pettigrew. A point to Gryffindor. We will not, of course, be researching Animagi Transformations this year - nor will you encounter it until your seventh year when you will be expected to do research on one out of six subjects, of which Animagi Transformations is one.

"More important than that, is the fact that the art of Animagi is so complicated and dangerous to attempt, that only few witches and wizards every generation can ever reach the goal of acquiring an Animagus form. Many have died or were permanently maimed in the process. If any of you were considering to study it, I will make myself clear once and for all. Those who attempt it unauthorized may find themselves serving a sentence at Azkaban.

"So why have I shown it to you? First, I find it a fun way to begin the year-"

There were quite a few gasps at _that_. _Fun_ and _McGonagall_ just did not go together in one sentence and in their minds as a whole.

"-and second of all, I wanted to show you a bit of advanced Transfiguration and allow you to see just how far you may go with this subject.

"Now, the Transfiguration we are going to start practicing this lesson…"

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"NO!" Remus bellowed as they entered the dorm after dinner that night. He had walked very quickly to the Tower after getting out of the Great Hall, forcing the others to almost run in order to keep up with him.

They did not have time to discuss it during the day, but now, in the safety of their dorm, they had certain freedom and privacy. And he would be damned if he would let them get away with it after what they had heard from McGonagall that very morning.

He knew they did not expect him to burst like that, but best friends or not - he was not about to give his blessing to such an attempt that may end someone up in Azkaban Prison or worse - cause their deaths. He would not have that on his conscience.

"But, Moony-" Sirius tried, bursting into the room behind him, huffing and puffing with the effort of keeping up with Remus.

"Didn't you hear me? No! Which part of that simple, two-lettered word did you fail to understand! _N_ as in _Nose_ and _O_ as _Order_ - could it be simpler than that? No, no, no, no, no, NO!"

"Listen, Remus-" James started as well, carefully shutting the door behind the four of them.

"James, Sirius, Peter, I appreciate the sentiments and I appreciate your wish to help, but _no_! You are _not_ risking your necks for my sake! You are not putting your life on the line over _my_ ailments! You are _not_ attempting something that may end with prison or death! You are _not_-"

"_Silencio_," James said calmly, pointing his wand at him. He did not even give him due warning.

Remus stared at him in shock, trying to get hold of his own wand, but failing as Sirius nicked it from his pocket before he could reach it.

"Now _you_ listen, Moony," James said quietly. "Sirius and I discussed it during the summer, and we guessed you may have… objections to raise after you heard about the rate of deaths and the penalties for whomever tries it without authorization, but the truth is that we already knew about it."

Remus' stare turned even more shocked. They had known it and said nothing about it to him?

Interpreting his expression correctly, Sirius sighed. "We stumbled over the information when I managed to escape home and visit James for a day back in August - in some old book in Mr. Potter's library. It clearly said everything about the dangers and the punishments. We _know_ what we're heading for and we are willing - no, we are _going_ to go all the way with it."

Peter nudged him. "We're your friends, Remus - and with that little fact comes the entire package."

James nodded and spoke again. "The point of the matter is that with your blessing or without it - we _are_ going to attempt it. It'll be much easier if you just agree and help us along - we would greatly appreciate it-"

"It would be much safer for us, too, I reckon," Peter added, cutting James short, then looking rather embarrassed at doing so.

"We are going to remove the charm off you," Sirius said. "And then leave you alone with your thoughts. The decision's all yours."

Then James removed the charm and Sirius placed the stolen wand on Remus' nightstand. Once that was done, they left the dorm - probably to cause chaos in the common room bellow.

_The decision is all mine, now is it?_ Remus thought somewhat bitterly now that he was alone in the dorm, staring at the blank wall next to Peter's bed. _The decision whether I should stand aside and watch them risk their necks, or whether I should aid them as much as I can_. He groaned audibly. Sirius had deliberately left him at a dead end.

When his friends entered the dorm sometime later, he had made his decision. It was not as though he had much choice in the matter. If he could do _anything_ that would help his friends not to die or end up in Azkaban, he _would_. His time with James and later with Sirius and Peter had taught him one thing.

Friends were a valuable thing. You did not find true ones often, and he intended on keeping a tight hold on those he had.

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It was around midnight when Remus woke to hear an insistent tapping noise coming from the dorm's window. His eyes bleary, he got out of bed and padded there to see what was making the noise. The surprise he felt at seeing an owl staring unblinkingly at him shook him entirely awake.

Opening the window, he let the owl in. It had a letter attached to its leg, and flew away the moment Remus had removed it from its leg. It was addressed to Sirius.

"Sirius!" he hissed, hoping not to wake the others. "Sirius!"

"Whhaaaa? Moooony, watcha doin'?"

Damn. Of _course_ it would be James that would be the first to wake.

"Get back to sleep, James. Sirius has a letter, and the fact that it arrived _now_ and not with the morning post might mean that it's urgent."

Another mistake. He should not have told James that the letter might be urgent. In an instant, the small boy shot out of bed and started shaking Sirius awake. Remus had to admit that it was much more efficient than his own, half-hearted attempts. Sirius was up in seconds. Once he realized what was going on, he lighted his wand and ripped the envelope open.

"Bloody hell," he said after a few seconds of reading.

"What is it?"

Great. Now Peter was awake as well.

"Here, read," Sirius said, thrusting the letter into James' hand. In a few minutes they all knew what was written there.

"_Dear Sirius,_

"_This should have come from Andy, and it should have come a few days back, but it was chaos here, and it slipped my mind._

"_I am happy to tell you that as of the morning of August 31st you have a second cousin. Our daughter has been named (after much argument, if you must know, but I could not tell Andy no…) Nymphadora Alcyone Tonks. She was born two weeks before her due-date, but even though she is small, she is quite healthy and beautiful._

"_Again, I am terribly sorry for not notifying you earlier, but it had been a hard birth (do not panic! Andy is fine now - it just took her a while to heal) and we have been running around St Mungo's since like headless chickens. We hope to see you over Christmas, Sirius, so that you can meet our little miracle._

"_Ted._"

"Congratulations, mate!" James crowed at this, thumping Sirius on the back.

It about summed it all. In either case, Sirius was too shocked to say anything. Perhaps it was the late time of night, or perhaps it was that he could not quite grasp the fact that his favourite cousin was now a mother to a child, but as the boys went back to bed, Remus could see that his friend had a very dazed expression on his face. Very happy, but dazed.

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Two weeks later, after not creating any havoc since their start-of-year prank, Sirius, with a very serious expression on his face, called for one. He was scowling when James asked him why now of all times. Remus found James' reaction a trifle strange, for normally he would be the first to jump at the opportunity, but then he realized what James had known the first moment Sirius had entered the common room. Sirius was upset. Very much so.

"I want to play a prank on Regulus. A very nasty one if possible," Sirius growled.

Sighing, James put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "What did the evil first year do, Sirius?"

"It's not just him," the tall boy said angrily after contemplating his words for a while. "It's the fact that he and Narcissa have joined forces. They keep cornering me in deserted hallways, saying snide things, reminding me what a dishonour I am to the family, how I would end up burnt of the family tree like Andy… it's starting to get to me, you know?"

The other three looked at him with sympathy in their eyes. They could not blame their friend for feeling that way. He had been practically ostracized by his family ever since he had attended Andromeda's wedding the previous Easter.

"I know something that would make you feel better," James suddenly said, grinning like a maniac.

"Playing a prank on the two evil gits?"

"No. We're not doing any pranks tonight. Nor are we going to go out _anywhere_ tonight."

"And why is that?" Sirius asked bitterly.

"Because, Sirius," He said with a huge grin suddenly plastered all over his face "Tomorrow the Quidditch Try Outs are on - and I want to be at my best there!"

Sirius stared at him in disbelief, his scowl no longer there. He then got up and ran to the notice board. On it was a small notice concerning House Team Try Outs. All thoughts of revenge driven away from his mind, Sirius started shouting like a lunatic, running around the common room in delight. The next day he and James would be able to show their worth. They would show them all. After all, he said, there could not possibly be anyone with more talent and ability than he and his best friend. They were the best, and they would be on the team, make no mistake.

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Sirius and James were standing side by side among the other contestants for the open places in the team that Saturday morning, which was clear and crisp with great Quidditch conditions. They both said nothing, not even to each other, which was strange, because James was the most talkative person Remus had ever had the privilege to know, and Sirius, though often silent and sometimes sullen, could be coaxed into very long discussions by his cheery best friend.

Remus and Peter were sitting together at the stands, watching them. They of course had better things to do, including a heap of homework that had been waiting patiently for over a while now, being put off continuously because of the Marauders' nightly mapping excursions. Either way, they felt that they needed to be there, cheering for their friends, who were amongst the younger Gryffindors attempting to get a place on the team.

"Sirius looks a bit nervous," Remus said, smirking. He had to admit that after Sirius' boasting of the other night, it very much amused him to see his friend's discomfort.

"Strange to see the most over-confident person we have ever known a bit nervous, eh?" Peter agreed with his own smirk, flexing his fingers. "James seems quite natural, though. Think he's too excited or something to be nervous?"

"That or he's very confident in his abilities." Knowing James, it was probably the latter. While Sirius always tended to boast and show his confidence, James sometimes kept his confidence to himself, remaining calm and poker-faced.

"Well, you _have_ seen him at our first flying lessons during first year - he was easily the best flyer there," Peter reasoned. James was both quite of a natural in flying, and had years of experience of it. There was little reason for him to be nervous.

"Can't argue with that, Peter, but just flying is entirely different than playing Quidditch."

"I hope they get on the team - if not they'll be absolutely unbearable for weeks," the small boy said, making a face. "Remember how annoying they were last year when they heard that there will be no Try Outs because the team had all the players it needed?"

Remus chuckled. "Oh, yes. That was the longest week of my life. Then let's hold our fingers crossed for them, shall we?"

The Try Outs were long and tedious. Peter gave up about half way through and wandered back to the castle, promising Remus to try and have a look around for more secret passageways and shortcuts.

Remus himself just pulled out his book - the same one his mother charmed oh-so-long ago - and started catching up with his reading. At some point, the Captain said something to James, who had reacted with a very annoyed expression and a sharp word, which made the older boy pull back in surprise. Then he nodded and pointed the messy-haired boy to one side of the field and went to speak with another.

It was late afternoon by the time James and Sirius joined him at the stands - both sweaty and smelly, but very much satisfied with their performances.

"Results will be publicized tomorrow." James said "But we were easily of the best players there - even though we're only second years."

"What was it that Gardner told you that made you scowl?" Remus asked curiously, putting his book back in place.

James' expression became foul but he said nothing. Sirius, however, smirked and said "Our dear Captain had the audacity to tell James that he had great Seeker build and asked what he was doing there, as there was not a Seeker position open. James told him exactly what he thought about it."

Shaking his head, Remus knew that he should have expected something of the sort. His friend could simply not stay normal. He had to make a scene. Getting up, he told them where Peter had gone to. Together they walked up to the castle to meet up with their friend.

It surprised no one to see that James had received the Chaser's position and Sirius the Beater's. Conceited as James' declaration at the end of the Try Outs was, there was no denying that they _were_, indeed, the best there. They were both enthusiastic and very good. The Captain would have been an idiot to say otherwise.

So now the two were absent three evenings a week, practicing relentlessly with the rest of the team, coming for dinner sweaty and energized, surprisingly up to more pranks and midnight excursions. It made Remus and Peter exchange disbelieving glances quite often, but both were resigned to follow in their friends' footsteps.

The map was slowly taking shape, the dungeons and the ground floor being completely sketched already. They still needed to start putting it on the final copy, but the drafts were ready. Two nights out of every week were dedicated to the map. Every excursion was no less than three hours long, sometimes much longer than that, and when they finally entered the dorm, exhausted, they had very satisfied expressions on their faces.

In between, Sirius was pushing for revenge on his brother. And finally, at the beginning of October, they decided it was time and while they were at it, they also decided to play the prank on Narcissa and Snape as well. The black-haired Slytherin was at the very top of their prank list. There was just something about him that put all of them, but James in particular, off. James said that he just could not stand the fact that someone who was immersed up to his eyebrows in the Dark Arts would be allowed at Hogwarts.

Remus shook his head at that. They had no actual proof that the boy meddled in the Dark Arts, but he had to admit that there was something in what his extremely stubborn friend said. There was something dark and sinister about Snape, and no matter what anyone else had said, James' dislike to the boy was only matched by Snape's own hatred of James.

They were rivals, and so no one protested when James suggested that they should do Snape as well as Regulus and Narcissa at the same time.

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"Shhh! They'll hear us!" James commanded Sirius who was on the verge of bursting into howls of laughter as the four boys sneaked a peek around the corner where they had set their trap.

"What if they come from the other direction and see us?" Peter asked in a hushed voice, sending nervous glances behind his shoulder.

"That's why we set it right outside the Slytherin common room so early in the morning," James explained in barely over a whisper. "They won't see us. Don't worry."

Sirius and James had used the invisibility cloak the night before and followed a couple of Slytherin first years down to the dungeons, where they had ascertained the location of the snakes' common room. When mapping the dungeons they had suspected that the blank stone wall may be the entrance, but they never made sure. That night they did, and early in the morning they sneaked down to the dungeons and set their trap.

"How will we make it work on all three of them if they come out in separate times?" Peter asked again, still nervous. He was just the sort of person who needed reassurance time and time again, not having the confidence of two of his friends.

"Cissy and Regulus always go to breakfast together," Sirius muttered. "She's tutoring him in how to be a true Black. As if the git needed those lessons," he snorted.

"And Snape?"

"Snape would be there, Peter," James said. "Don't worry. And if we're lucky, we'll get a few more snakes with it on the-"

"Shh!" This time it was Remus who did the shushing, for his sensitive hearing picked up the sounds of feet coming towards the stone wall from the inside.

Quickly sheltered by James' cloak, and pressed together in order to stop themselves from showing even the corner of a robe, they watched as Slytherins started to flow out of the open door.

Only after five minutes of intense watching did Narcissa and Regulus come out of their common room, and, as James had predicted, Snape with his regular gang of burly Slytherins walked behind them, all looking just as sullen as any adolescent would look so early in the morning.

It all happened in under a minute.

An aimed wand. A whispered word. The swish of cloth. Retreating footsteps. And then…

Cried of alarm erupted behind the laughing, fleeing Marauders as their spell took effect and their precious supply of dungbombs, treated with a special, nifty potion they had discovered in a forgotten book in the recesses of the library, exploded, covering the Slytherins standing in the corridor with a gooey substance that both reeked as any dungbomb would and made those who were hit glow with a pink neon light. The effect, as only the four Gryffindor boys who were currently entering the Great Hall for breakfast, looking as calm and composed as always knew, would last at least three hours, no matter how much their school enemies would wash themselves and scrub their skin.

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Soon after the stunt they pulled (surprisingly getting away without punishment), the Marauders (or rather, James) decided that they needed to take a break from pranks. They had much more important business to take care of, namely, their Animagi research that was left untouched since James and Sirius were accepted as Beater and Chaser of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

During the next two months, between lessons, Quidditch practices and matches, Madam Pince, the librarian, was astonished to see the Marauders hard at work. To see the four boys in the library on a regular basis was not a common sight. Remus was a frequent visitor, that much was true, but James and Sirius lacked his passion for books and only rarely entered there, normally on prank business.

Never mind that their essays were always scribbled at the last possible minute - preferably during breakfast on the day of handing in. Never mind that the books they were reading were the ones used by seventh years studying for their NEWTs. Never mind that often they would skip class just to get their hands on some extremely-sought-after script. As long as no one noticed, they were fine.

Still, by the end of November, they felt that they had exhausted what the normal library had to offer them. Three full moons came and went, and they still did not have a clue at how to start. James and Sirius were rather anxious. They wanted to help Remus, but with every passing day, they felt the fingers of failure touching their research.

"All these books we've been researching are of little help," Sirius said tiredly on evening, about two weeks before the next full moon. He was pointing at the wide selection of Transfiguration books on the table in front of them, disgust on his face.

Remus sighed and looked at him and James. The two just returned from a very intensive Quidditch practice that took all of their afternoon, but they had not even showered or change into clean clothes. They immediately joined Remus and Peter in the library in an attempt to cram a bit more of research before curfew. Shaking his head, he had come to the conclusion that their ambitious plan would never come true.

"The only valuable book we had is the one James found last year, and that one was restricted," he said, rubbing his temples. It was really hopeless.

Or so he thought.

Both James and Sirius glanced at each other and then stared at him, their eyes wide. He looked at the expressions on their faces and then his own eyes widened. Of _course_!

Peter glanced at them all, trying to understand what they had all already known. Then, he adopted the same expression as his three friends, realizing what Remus had said.

As one they breathed "The Cloak!"

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Remus and Peter sat with baited breath that night, waiting for their comrades-in-arms to come back. The two dark-haired boys had disappeared not long after dinner, innocent expression fixed on their faces and James' cloak stashed inside Sirius' book bag.

An hour ticked by… two hours… three… Suddenly a soft rustle came from behind the closed door. It creaked open quickly, revealing nothing but thin air.

If anyone else had been present at the time, they would probably have screamed about ghosts or Dark Magic. Remus, however, exhaled his breath loudly at this sight, mightily relieved. If they were wearing the cloak, it meant that their mission had been accomplished successfully.

As soon as the door closed, the two Marauders pulled off James' Invisibility Cloak, appearing out of nothing. In their arms they had a few heavy, old books.

"Mission accomplished!" Sirius crowed, echoing Remus' own thoughts.

They spent that night going through the books.

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Their third year - or at least it's first few months, so Remus would later say, were uneventful to such a degree, that they should have seen the danger coming.

Due to certain circumstances, amongst them the two-weeks-long prank that had caused all Slytherins' cloaks become bright red dotted with white hearts whenever they put them on, it was not until the week before Christmas that the third years' first-ever (to anyone who was not a Marauder, that is…) Hogsmeade Weekend had arrived.

Only rarely checking the notice board down at the common room, they first heard of it from an extremely excited Haley, who shouted much too early in the morning: "Lily! Rowena! Wren! Keira! You'll _never_ guess what's happening this weekend! _Hogsmeade_!" She had just caught up with the girls who were walking just in front of the Marauders, pushing past the boys almost uncharacteristically violently.

The five girls paused in the middle of the corridor, all excitedly starting to compare all they knew of Hogsmeade and telling each other how thrilled they were to finally get there. The boys, however, just continued walking without much energy to the Great Hall and breakfast, leaving extremely confused girls behind them.

"Big deal," Sirius said in a snide voice. "A sweet shop and a pub - really drool worthy." They were still within hearing range of the girls, and the five were staring at the tall boy with open mouths. It took Remus a moment to realize what was bothering them. Then he almost hit his head against a wall. They simply could not afford for people to know that they had already explored the village from one end to another.

Narrowing his eyes, he elbowed his friend pointedly, and said, in a very low hiss, "_They_ don't know we've been there, you imbecile! Do you _want_ us to get in even more trouble than we already are?"

Sirius groaned, understandably chastised. "Erm… Yay?" he attempted, trying to muster up his morning low spirits.

"That's better," Remus said dryly. "But you'd better keep in mind that not everyone goes to the village as second years."

This had brightened up Sirius' mood considerably, for his eyes twinkled.

**Well! What will happen at Hogsmeade? Why should they have known that something bad would happen? What are they going to do at Hogsmeade now that they have explored it from top to bottom last year? All this and more in the next chapter (titled "James and Keira")!**

**Tell me what you think and I hope to see you Sunday in my next update!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**

**p.s. We have a Tonks!**


	10. James and Keira

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** ((gasps)) I'm on time! Aren't you lot proud of me? ;) Really, though, I'm very happy to be able to actually do it. This week has been absolutely _hectic_.

Either way, this is the second part of the third year. Chapter may seem a bit short, but it's because the third year was supposed to be only one chapter and then I decided to separate it into two. Hope you will still like it!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Ten - James and Keira**

Hogsmeade weekend had finally arrived. Prompted by Remus, the Marauders all had grins of excitement plastered on their faces as they descended to breakfast that day. It would not do for the whole school to realize that they have already seen the village before.

Waiting in the line for Filch to scrutinize them evilly and check their names against his list, James frowned and then turned to Sirius. "How on earth did you get your permission slip signed?" he asked curiously.

At this Sirius smirked widely, his chest practically inflating with pride. "I shoved it under my dad's nose when he wasn't expecting it. He couldn't care less, really. Mother would have thrown a fit of rage, but _he_ was too deep into that damned book of his to care what exactly it was he was signing. Piece of cake, really, when you know the two of them."

They laughed at that. Sirius making fun of his home life was a good thing, after all.

As they walked with the rest of the school to the village, they heard someone talking excitedly about Hogsmeade - a Ravenclaw from their year. Thinking it would be amusing to hear what stories and rumours he would spout, the four of them slowed their pace and kept a small distance between them and him, listening.

"-and after we had a look in the Post Office and the sweetshop, we thought we'd go to the Three Broomsticks and have a butterbeer - or is there anywhere else we should go to see first? I hear there are many historical buildings around here and I thought that maybe you could recommend on what to see first."

The fourth year girl he was speaking to nodded. "Sounds like a good idea - and there are historical buildings, but none of them is all that fascinating - at least not when compared to the Shrieking Shack. Before you go to the Three Broomsticks, I'd heartily suggest you pay a visit to that place."

"The Shrieking Shack?" the boy asked in a hushed voice, sounding worried.

"Yes," the fourth year lowered her voice, and three Marauders strained to hear her words - they never heard about a Shrieking Shack, and they thought they had Hogsmeade pinned down. "Two and a half years ago, a rich wizard from York came here to build a summerhouse in an all-wizard community. He built it just outside Hogsmeade - up on that hill there - d'you see?

"Anyway, that summer - before my second year - your first - he brought his whole family there for a celebration. His wife, their three children, his brothers and _their_ families… the entire clan. He thought they'd all enjoy a nice summer here, and when September first arrived they would take their little ones to Hogwarts for the school year.

"What they didn't know, however, was that just outside Hogsmeade lived a ferocious tribe of outcast wizards - those who dabbled in the Dark Arts, or made their living out of Muggle Baiting.

"One night, when the entire family was in their beds, that tribe broke into the house and killed them all."

The third year inhaled sharply. Three out of four Marauders waited in baited breath for the rest of the story. The fourth just rolled his eyes.

The fourth year continued, her voice dropping to a whisper so low, that they had to inch their way closer. "At the beginning of the next school year, the people of Hogsmeade started hearing horrible noises from the house. The came up there to see what's going on - can you guess what they had seen?"

"N…no."

"They had seen the whole place boarded up - windows, doors - everything. And when they tried to get near, they saw a faint light coming from the cracks."

"G…ghosts?"

"Not just _any_ ghosts, my friend. The most vicious crowd of ghosts to ever be in the British Isles. All howling for revenge. Men, women and children.

"The next week, a villager walked by mistake into the hollow in which the Tribe hid. He found them. Dead. All dead. The life sucked out of them."

The fourth year grinned at the quavering third year and rejoined her friends.

"Wow," Sirius said, his eyes lit. "Can we go there? Can we? Can we?"

James and Peter seconded that, their eyes really alight for the first time since they heard about the Hogsmeade weekend. Remus just rolled his eyes yet again. He sighed. "Come on. Let me show you something."

Not looking behind him to see if his confused friends did follow, he directed them up the trail leading up the hill the fourth year had pointed out. It was a narrow thing, dotted by overgrown vegetation and little stones that were loose under their feet. Soon they found themselves facing a wooden house of two stories - all boarded up. There he turned to face his friends, his expression unreadable. He never felt so exasperated in his entire life, and he simply did not have enough words to convey that feeling to them. "This," he finally said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at the house, "is the Shrieking Shack. Lovely place, isn't it? Have a good look at it, because if you are going to be joining me during full moons - this is where you will spend them."

"What - with all the ghosts?" Peter mumbled, looking a little afraid.

"No, Peter. There are _no_ ghosts in here. The noises are being made by me. _I'm_ the ghosts. Look," he sighed "There's something I never told you, because I knew you'd overreact. When I had first come here, and Dumbledore had told me he had everything taken care of, I was glad, but what I didn't count on was that during my transformations I would be completely alone.

"Back at home, as you know by now, Mum and Dad were always there for me. Outside the cellar's door - but there all the same. They always talked to me through the door and even though I couldn't really understand what they said - somehow the knowledge that they _were_ there made it a whole lot easier.

"Here, in the Shack, no one stayed with me to say that everything was going to be alright. No one was there to calm me. So every full moon I was both deprived of human flesh - something I know is close by and it drives the wolf mad, and of company and some comfort. As a result, I bite and scratch myself. Proof of that you have seen on countless occasions when I return from the Wing after a full moon."

He watched his friends, whose excited faces suddenly turned very grim. He went on. "The first moon was the worst - I couldn't even get out of bed for twenty four hours after. It got a little better along the year - but not by much. I still harm myself when I'm not at home. I can't control the wolf - it's impossible."

Finishing unloading everything that had burdened his heart, he fell silent, his eyes fixed to the ground, waiting for them to say something. He heard one of them - who it was, he was uncertain - taking a deep breath as though starting to say something, but those words never came out. It was then that they heard the first screams.

All four boys turned as one in the direction of the village. Even from that distance they could hear fragments of shouted sentences and could see the light of spells being shot.

"-All students after me!"

"-Steady now - don't panic-"

"-No - don't…!"

The flashes of light slowly advanced through the village, screams punctuating the still air in almost regular intervals.

"We'd better get back to school," James whispered, his face and voice calm but his eyes betraying his nervousness. "Before anyone sees us. Someone's attacking the village."

"But we can't go through village!" Peter squeaked in a small voice, echoing all their thoughts. To go back to the village was the equivalent of suicide. Whoever it was who was rampaging within the village knew what they were doing. They also knew _when_ they were doing it. It simply could not be a coincidence that the attack was scheduled on the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year.

Watching as his friends tried to think of a way around the village, he racked his brains in an attempt to think of something that could help them. He was afraid, not knowing if they could be spotted all the way up from the village, and his mind refused to cooperate, freezing in his panic. Looking around for inspiration, his eyes fell on the Shack. All panic now left him. He was much calmer, more reasonable. He smiled.

"Come on, let's go," he told them, walking purposefully in the direction of the house.

"Where to?" Sirius demanded, jogging to keep up with his long strides.

"Into the house - there's a way. Come on!" He led them past the fence circling the house and up the path, then around the house to the back door. Where the boarded-up door met the ground was a shallow depression in the ground - not enough to let a grown werewolf through, but just enough to admit four thirteen-year-olds. He crawled through and waited for them to follow, dusting his clothes.

"In one of my very first full moons I attempted to dig my way out of here - the canine brain knew how to do it, and the wolf wanted fresh meat - but I encountered stone, I think, and couldn't dig a wide-enough hole for me to go through," he explained as they dusted themselves as well.

Sirius pressed his eye to a crack between two boards blocking a window. "There are people in dark cloaks coming up the trail - we'd better go. You _did_ say there was a way out, didn't you?"

Remus nodded and led them to where the trap door was, carefully oiled as usual to avoid making any sounds - a lucky precaution in this particular case. He pulled it up and they dropped into the long, all-too-familiar tunnel. The other three boys had never seen the place where he spent one night a month - it was rather amusing that they used the passageway now - not even on a full moon. He probably would have chuckled at the irony of the situation, if it was not for his heart beating twice its normal rate.

"Err… Moony?" Peter asked "How exactly are we to stop the Willow from killing us? I don't think you ever mentioned that."

"There's a knot at its base. All you have to do is prod it. We're nearly there."

Soon enough they exited the tunnel and found themselves on the grounds. All four boys heaved a sigh of relief at that, glad that they were safe. They hurried back to the castle before anyone would notice they were missing.

They should have known better than to think it possible.

"…But, Professor! James wasn't there when we went back! I know he went to Hogsmeade with everyone because he and his friends were walking ahead of us! I couldn't find him when everyone ran away - what if he's been hit and he's wounded somewhere, or… or…"

Remus, Sirius and Peter all swirled to look at James. He looked mortified. "Keira," he breathed softly and then hurried down the Entrance Hall and into the Great Hall where all the students were assembled.

"Calm yourself, Keira! I'm all right!" Remus heard him say.

"YOU!" Keira shrieked. "_You_! You irresponsible _prat_! Where in Merlin's name _were_ you! I'll _kill _you, you miscreant! You- you- you YOU!"

By the time the other Marauders were within sight of the crowd in the Hall, Keira was crying hysterically into James' shoulder and he was whispering to her soothingly. Though it may have been the wrong moment to note that, Remus thought it looked very peculiar, since Keira was almost a head taller than James.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew!" Remus found himself yanked by the neck of his robe to face a livid Professor McGonagall. "Where _were_ the four of you! We've been so worried!"

"We left Hogsmeade early," Sirius lied smoothly, taking James' usual job, for their friend was still preoccupied with comforting his cousin. "Peter wasn't feeling so well - he hates crowds. We were out on the grounds when we noticed everybody coming back and thought we'd investigate. We're really sorry for worrying you, Professor."

Luckily enough, Peter _did_ look rather ill, about ready to faint, actually, so McGonagall, who usually disbelieved everything that came out of Sirius' mouth, sent him to the Hospital Wing and did not say another word to the four of them, leaving them to attend to the more urgent duty of comforting scared students.

Turning his attention back to James, Remus narrowed his eyes as that peculiar sight met his eyes again. The two cousins were still in a tight embrace, neither of them looking embarrassed or uncomfortable, oblivious to the world around them. One of James' hands was rubbing Keira's back soothingly, and her own arms were locked tightly about him, as though she never wanted to let go.

It was so strange, watching them showing genuine affection to one another. It was possibly the first time he had seen the two of them showing sincere concern to the other, pure and unabashed, not attempting to deny it. It destroyed everything Remus thought he knew about his friend. Again. Every time he thought he figured the short boy out, James would come up with something else, shattering that illusion.

And so the friends stood in the Hall as the students slowly calmed down and dispersed for their common rooms, and waited for their friends to come back to the real world. Glancing at the other Gryffindor girls, standing just behind Keira and James, Remus noted that they all had the same bewildered expression in their eyes. They did not understand what was going on either.

And so they waited.

If Remus thought that the endless fight between James and Keira would stop now that they had shown genuine affection towards each other, he was utterly wrong. The moment Keira was calm again, she began scolding James and _he_, refusing to be outdone, felt obliged to retort rather nastily and soon the two were comfortably not speaking to each other again aside of a few snide comments now and then.

Things were back to normal.

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The night of the attack on Hogsmeade, the Marauders embarked on another scouting mission, but this time they had something different in mind than looking for more secret passages and shortcuts. This excursion had a very specific thing as its target: They wanted information.

The Marauders wanted to know what had happened in the village, and why it had happened. And so, keeping a lookout for anything out of the ordinary nighttime Hogwarts noises, it was then that they stumbled upon a few Professors having a serious conversation in McGonagall's office.

They crouched beneath James' cloak a few feet away from the door. Someone failed to close it properly, and wisps of conversation reached their waiting ears. Remus, being the sharp-eared boy that he was, heard it even before them all, and almost dropped his Muggle pen - a contraption they found much easier to use on their nocturnal excursions than a quill and held in his hand now out of habit - when he heard the first words.

"…only a test of our abilities," said McGonagall's voice firmly.

"Not a chance, Minerva," disagreed Slughorn, his tone very stubborn. "It was a planned attack on a day they _knew_ the students would be scattered all over the village and we would not be able to protect them properly - it's a miracle no one was hurt from the student body. Imagine the implications of _that_ happening. We'd be forced to close the school."

"But that's exactly what they were testing us for, Horace," McGonagall said irritably. "You-Know-Who wants to see how well prepared we are for such an attack. Otherwise there is no reason for attacking the only pure wizarding village in Britain. If it was something other than an attack, he is a fool - and during the past couple of years we have witnessed that rash or conceited - You-Know-Who is no fool."

"How many died?" Sprout's voice asked softly, interrupting the two.

"Among the villagers? Three. All were too old or too young to look for shelter on time. They were slaughtered without mercy."

"And what does the Headmaster plan to do about it, Minerva?" Flitwick squeaked, apparently sure the Headmaster _was_ going to something about it.

She sighed. "Right now? Make sure that the school is secure. There is nothing much he _can_ do or wants to do. The school is his first priority - as it should be ours. But it is getting late. Shall we adjourn for the night?"

There were murmurs of assent at this.

"We'd better _adjourn_ ourselves," Remus muttered to his friends as they heard the teachers pushing back chairs and saying their goodnights. The four of them went straight to Gryffindor Tower after that, too troubled to go exploring that night. Dark times were coming. They could all see it now.

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After the Hogsmeade attack, Remus started noticing something that was… somewhat out of character. Over the two and a half years he had known his fellow Gryffindors, there was a strict separation between the House's boys and girls. Admittedly, it was only to be expected, for they were only now exiting the stage of childhood where connections with members of the opposite gender were considered taboo, and there _were_ the occasional conversations every now and then when they were not in their groups, but all in all he did not expect it to happen for a while yet.

He assumed that the attack made them realize the necessity of close relationships and care for each other.

It was almost unnoticeable at that point, really. They all somehow ended sitting together during meals, and sometimes would drift to sit in the same general area in the common room after school hours. There was the occasional greeting in a corridor (again, while not in their separate groups), instead of the habitual scowl. While the Marauders did not stop playing pranks on the girls, they _were_ sheltered from the more horrendous ones, such as the time when Sirius convinced James it would be a fantastic idea to grind acid pops into powder, mix it with water and squirt it over a random corridor full of students (thankfully enough they were not caught, for had they been, surely they would have been expelled, or at least suspended).

Most of all, however, it was pronounced by the way they merely ignored one another rather than curse and name-call.

The special case in that beginning of change was the case of James and Keira.

The two cousins made obvious claims that they hated each other, could not get along and will never be near one another if they had the choice. It was so since the very beginning of their years at Hogwarts. After the attack, however, things changed. While they still made said claims, Remus could finally see that they were not all that true. Watching them in each other's arms that day after Hogsmeade, he started thinking that maybe everything they all thought was true when applied to the two was just one big hoax. He started playing back all those incidences of the previous two years when his friend and Keira were at each other's throat. He brought back snide remarks and nasty references to things past and started analyzing everything he remembered.

The conclusion he arrived at had him gaping at the air in front of him for a while.

It was all a façade. Whatever James said, whatever Keira claimed at the top of her lungs - it was all a lie set in order to stop the other from seeing just how much they meant to one another. Remus found himself wondering what kind of a relationship the two had before Hogwarts - before they got to that age where girls were "icky" and boys were "childish".

Keeping his eyes and ears sharp and open, he was determined to catch the two in the act. As it turned out, it was not as hard as it first seemed, when one knew where to look.

"You stupid _twat_!" Keira's voice echoed in the Potions' dungeon about two weeks into the new term. Her tone was derisive and condescending, and had she said it a month or so earlier, Remus would have thought that was exactly what it was. Her words were directed, of course, at James, who was absent-mindedly about to add powdered Asphodel to his potion, which would have soured the potion, not to mention that it might have made it explode.

Remus just did not know where his friend's mind was these days. He was often caught daydreaming in class, and he did not tell Remus what was going on. Remus decided to ask Sirius if things got completely out of hand.

Either way, it was Keira, sitting next to the table adjacent to James', who noticed his mistake and promptly shrieked at his irresponsibility, accompanied by a swipe of her hand that knocked the measuring spoon with its load from his hand and unto the floor.

"What did you _that_ for?" James demanded angrily, snapped out of his current daydream.

"What did I _do_ that for?" she asked vehemently, her face reddening. "You would have exploded that cauldron showering the lot of us with your failed creation! You think I want to go around the school in _boils_ again!"

"So now you're saying that I can't do potions properly?"

"Yes! That's _exactly_ what I am saying, you complete idiot!"

This incited the expected fight between the cousins, with Professor Slughorn merely sighing and directing the rest of the class back to work. Soon everything was back to normal, with the two grumbling at how idiotic the other was and the lesson resumed relatively uninterrupted.

That was on the surface.

If you were one, Remus Lupin, though, you would have read the subtext of the shouting match, noting the underlining meaning, the unsaid tones. Had you been Remus, you would have noticed the panic in Keira's eyes as she spotted James about to do his mistake. You would have noticed the concern beneath her anger. You would have noticed how James said his thanks to her for saving him again with his eyes alone while his mouth spouted horrible names and phrases.

Yes, Remus gleaned a lot from that single fight - things that no one would have guessed were there. He surmised that not even the two realized what they were doing. That they truly believed they hated each other and did not get along.

Smiling to himself, Remus promised he would continue to keep an eye out and see if his hypothesis was true in every occasion.

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As the months passed, Lord Voldemort - or You-Know-Who as people started calling him out of fear soon after the attacks became more frequent and more vicious and cruel - became a dominant power in the Wizarding World, but to the children in Hogwarts it did not matter much. They did not notice the growing security around them whenever they went on a Hogsmeade weekend. They did not notice the teachers' growing agitation and the worried glances they exchanged whenever meeting in the halls. The few of them who actually read the _Daily Prophet_, or had a wireless to listen on, knew that more and more people died or disappeared each week without any apparent reason.

The Marauders, even though they were a little better informed of these matters than their peers, what with Remus' mother's letters every weeks and James' parents bi-weekly updates, had matters of much greater importance to attend to. As far as they were concerned, there was nothing more important than to help Remus with his 'furry little problem', as James had cheerfully dubbed it the year before and voiced it one evening in the Great Hall during dinner, making Remus choke on his pumpkin juice and getting a fifth year curious enough to enquire whether Remus had a very misbehaved rabbit and whether he needed help with the crazy animal, as she had experience in such matters.

"So," Sirius said one afternoon around the end of May as they were sitting closeted in their dorm, surrounded by rolls of parchment and books. "We have established that we can possibly get all these potion ingredients from either Slughorn's private stores - or get them along the summer from our parents' own stores, right?"

The other nodded.

"Pity the Transformation is unchoosable," he said wistfully.

"Unchoosable is not a word, Sirius," Remus corrected.

"Well, at least you know what I mean, right? I meant that you can't choose what animal you'd be. What if we all turn into something small and insignificant? You'll gob us up alive! Or imagine James here turning into a giraffe! What good would that be?"

"I am no giraffe!" James said indignantly. "What if you turn into a grasshopper? It would be close enough to your character - wouldn't it? Always hopping about - on a permanent sugar high?"

"I am _not_ 'hopping around'! I'm walking!"

"Righhhhht."

"I am!"

"Mm-hmm. And your mum is the nicest person on the planet."

"Now wait just one minute! I haven't talked dirty on your-" Sirius halted in mid-sentence and reconsidered. "I haven't got a comeback for that. Yeah, I suppose I _am_ hopping about." He sighed and added as an afterthought "Four-eyes."

James lunged himself at Sirius and a violent skirmish began. Peter and Remus exchanged a look and went back to their research.

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The rest of their third year moved along almost frighteningly fast. Before long exams were over and then everyone was waiting for the last feast of the year. The Marauders used those few last weeks to cause as much aggravation as possible to Narcissa and Regulus who had been practically insufferable that year, ever since they heard about their second cousin's birth. They had mocked Andromeda's choice of a name, said that the girl would be a halfwit, that she would die young, that Andromeda will suffer for everything she did, for the nerve she had shown, leaving the family behind.

And so the four Gryffindor boys neglected their school-wide turf and concentrated on the two Blacks and by association, the rest of the Slytherin House.

When it concerned Sirius' cousin and brother, Remus happily joined in. However, when James and Sirius started hexing Slytherins in the corridors, he shirked away from it, opting to stay out of it. He did not stop them from doing it - he just kept his distance and feigned ignorance. It was better that way.

The end of the year was upon them, and a week before the very last day, the Marauders were already racking their brains, thinking of an end-of-year prank. They wanted it to be bigger than the one from last year, and - James insisted - more disruptive. They thought it was fitting, according to the school happenings.

Gryffindor managed to scrape victory in the House Cup competition, despite their failure to obtain the Quidditch Cup by mere ten points. They wanted to show their happiness by throwing one big extravagant prank.

Once the House cup results were announced, James and Sirius pulled out the fireworks the boys had been tampering with all week long, turning them into something completely different, and tapped them with their wands to set them loose. While fireworks figured high in their list of pranks, this time they were only used as some sort of base, a vessel for what it truly was after being prodded and stuffed full of potions.

The fireworks zoomed into the air with sharp whistling noises, leaving trails of what appeared to be smoke in their wake, looping and wavering through the still Hall. When they finally exploded high above the heads of all students, more wisps of smoke erupted, leaving a picture of a starburst behind. The smoke thickened as its thin tendrils lengthened and spread to the far corners of the Hall.

The staff and students, their eyes fixed on the spectacle, watched as what began as thin smoke turned into thick, moist fog, settling down, covering them all. In a matter of minutes the Great Hall was swathed in fog. No one was able to see their own noses.

By the time the livid staff managed to make the fog disappear, wondering how on earth the four third years managed to get away with another prank yet again, the culprits were well away - feasting in the kitchens, well out of McGonagall's reach.

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"We'll meet again sometimes this summer to finish our paperwork, then?" James asked, holding them all back on the platform before they separated to find their families. There was no doubt in any of their minds as to what he meant by that.

The others nodded and they all said goodbye for the time being, promising each other that they will write and keep in touch. Then they all went their separate ways.

Remus hurried out of the platform and immediately located his mother, standing to one side with a big smile on her face, her arms open to take him in.

"Had a good year, dear?" she asked as she hugged him in greeting.

He grinned, barely concealing his glee. "Indeed I had, Mum. What's for dinner?"

**Now that was a happy chapter… no cliffie this time - so you should love me for that:)**

**What will happen next? Will they actually be _going_ somewhere with the Animagi thing now that they have all the theory covered? Will they meet over the summer? Not bloody likely where poor Remus is going! ((cackles evilly)) Those of you who read the original version may remember why exactly the summer between third and fourth year was so… ((shudders))… poor Remus.**

**I will update on Wednesday! May even update early because I have the whole chapter written already!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	11. The Werewolf at the Gate

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Welcome! Welcome to Remus third summer while at Hogwarts, where many rather freaky things happen! Poor, poor Remus… he won't be the same after what I put him through…

On a side note - I updated on time!

Now. It is my unfortunate duty to inform you that though I very much enjoyed having regular updates, this is last one for a very, very, _very_ long time. I am starting a new job, which means I will not be able to update as frequently as I have in the past few months. If you want the full explanation - it's in my bio - but know that either way I'm very sorry and hope that you will still read and enjoy this story!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Eleven - The Werewolf at the Gate**

The way back to his family's home was surprisingly quiet. Normally his mother would not stop talking, asking about everything that had happened during the year, then asking again to hear the details of the pranks he and his friends had played, reprimanding him if they were dangerous and laughing if they were just amusing. This time she was silent, and she was thumping the wheel every now and then - a sure sign of nervousness in Saffron Lupin.

Remus sat in the passenger seat next to his mother. Unlike many of the Wizarding world, Mrs. Lupin insisted on owning a car. She had repeatedly said that sometimes it was easier to move from place to place with a car - especially when she had a Muggle husband who could not Apparate and a child that could not as yet (and it was in question whether he would ever _will_ be able to, with all the restrictions put on werewolves by the Ministry).

Attempting to ignore his mother's anxiety, he was reading a book Sirius got him for Christmas. A very amusing one, and, knowing Sirius, possibly rather rude, though he had not found proof of that yet. Therefore, he completely missed the sidelong glances his mother kept sending his way.

They were halfway on the road to home, some two hours later, when she finally said, an edge to her voice, "Remus, dear? Could you put the book down for a moment?"

He put his bookmark in place and shut the book, putting it aside. "Yes, Mum?"

"Remus," she said, looking as if whatever she had to say pained her greatly, "you know that your father and I… Due to the unfortunate circumstances weren't on a real vacation for a very long time, right?"

He nodded, having a bad feeling about what she was about to say. Knowing what the 'unfortunate circumstances' were, he had a very good idea of where this was leading to and the prominent word in that idea was the name of a certain place which he had hoped never to hear fall out of his parents' lips.

His mother continued, oblivious to the dark suspicions in his mind. "For the past few years we've been playing with the idea of going for a week - you being already grown up and quite able to take care of yourself for one week - just as long as we scheduled it at the right time… But somehow we both agree it is not quite what we need."

Remus' shoulders slumped. He now knew without _any_ doubt what was coming next. His mother seemed to try and give excuses to herself, and that, more than anything, had pointed the idea she was trying to pronounce.

"So this year we've decided to finally let you out of our sight for the summer - isn't that wonderful? You'll no longer have to see us every waking hour of the day!" Her tone was falsely cheerful and very forced.

He could see that she was not even convincing herself. Taking a deep breath, her fingers thumping a discordant rhythm on the wheel, she took the last plunge. "So this summer, we've made arrangement for you to go to Willow Gate Camp for Young Werewolves!"

"That's great, Mum," he said monotonously, knowing that there was not a thing he could do about it and that his worst nightmare has come true. His parents were indeed _always_ there for him, and often he felt guilty over making them work so hard and never take a break. They deserved this vacation. But why _Willow Gate_? He found himself resisting the urge to sob. He knew everything there was to know about that place, and being trapped for a few weeks by the sound of it with dozens of young, frustrated werewolves was not his cup of tea.

"I'm glad you're not angry, dear," she said, obviously relieved - and just as obviously missing the lifeless tone of his answer.

"Why would I be angry?" he mumbled, reaching again for his book. "Where are you going to?"

"France and Italy - maybe we'll even reach Spain at some point. We both wanted to get there for the longest time. We'll be back two weeks before school starts and take you home, all right?"

"Yes, Mum."

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Willow Gate Camp for Young Werewolves. The worst place Remus could imagine spending five weeks of his summer vacation at, and that was even while considering spending an entire summer with Sirius' family, which was horrible by itself, if what Sirius said was to be believed.

Poor Sirius. No wonder he always spent so much time at James'.

It was more common a malady than he had thought, so he noticed upon entering the camp grounds. There were quite a few parents leaving their children behind to the care of experienced Healers, instructors and other personnel. From the incoherent babble many of them used, he surmised that foreign werewolf children found their way to the south of Devon for that infamous camp as well.

He bid his mother and father goodbye at the entrance, not wishing them to come in with him. He appreciated his mother's parting words - "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all - we can still cancel our plans, William!" - But he knew that there was no way he was going to let his parents ruin their summer plans. They had earned their vacation, and he was not about to be the one who would stand in their way.

As he entered the grounds by himself, he was glad that he did not allow his mother to come in. He was sure that if he would have done so, she would have pulled him out of there, no questions asked, and would cancel all her plans without further ado. It was worse than even he in his most pessimistic mood could possibly imagine.

While the place was on no uncertain circumstances an unpleasant place, with bright, closely cropped lawns and an inviting little lake, with picturesque wooden buildings scattered around the grounds with white paths connecting them, the atmosphere was far from relaxing. On the contrary. Everything there smelled of fear and tears.

There were many children there - varying in ages. The youngest he could see was about eight, and the oldest was seventeen. He witnessed so many heartbreaking partings in the short time he walked up the main path leading to the offices in order to announce his arrival. So many parents who did not want to let go - so many parents who needed nothing _but_ to let go and children who cried to be taken away all the same.

In the offices, a kind-faced middle-aged woman ticked his name off on a list and directed him to the room he will be sharing with three other boys during his stay at the camp. She advised him that the first camp meeting would take place in two hours at the common room in the main building, once everyone had settled in their rooms.

Dragging his trunk down the path she had pointed out, he morosely imagined the upcoming meeting to himself, miserably thinking that it would be the worst experience of his life.

The rooms were each an individual building, rather large and painted in cheerful colours. It made his stomach lurch. It was like a shiny wrapper in his eyes, designed to hide the rotten interior.

Finally he reached the room appointed to him, one room with an attached bathroom. There were four beds there, he noted upon entering and seeing that he was the only one to have arrived at that point. Choosing the bed next to the window, he slumped over it, feeling rather depressed. This was so different from Hogwarts that he felt like crying. The surgically clean room was nothing like the dorm he had shared over the past three years with James, Sirius and Peter. It was so pristine and impersonal. He found himself wishing he was on his Hogwarts four-poster, sharing a shipment of Chocolate Frogs with his friends. He missed his friends so much. He did not even have the chance to properly explain why he would not be available that summer.

A few days after he had arrived home, right after the full moon, he had received a letter from James, telling him they were planning on meeting the next week at Peter's place, and that it was an important meeting to the future of their Animagi experiments, for Sirius had unearthed more information about the transformation from his family's library. Dejectedly, he had had to write back and inform his friends that through no fault of his, he would be stuck for most of the summer in the Hellhole known as Willow Gate Camp, rendering him unable to even contact them, for owls were banned from the premises.

James had never had the chance to send a response because then Remus had had to leave. He imagined the owl had missed him by mere hours if not minutes. And so the present found a very miserable Remus Lupin lying on his narrow bed at his empty room in Willow Gate, thinking of all the terrific and fun things he had done with the Marauders over the previous summer, wishing he could be there with them right then.

The sound of the door opening startled him out of his thoughts, bringing in the sounds of the outside. Two boys, a bit older than he perhaps, entered the room, unaware of his presence. They were talking cheerfully and obviously knew each other from before. Upon seeing Remus however, they stopped, curiosity blossoming on their faces as they scrutinized him.

"Hello," the taller one finally said, giving him a small wave. "You're a new one, aren't you? Never seen you here before, and I've been here for a while."

Remus nodded, uncertain of what to make of these boys. As far as he knew, from him own personal experience, werewolves were often asocial and more than often downright rude. "First time in Willow Gate," he said warily.

"Lucky you," the shorter one sighed. "I'm here since I was nine, and Greg here is here since he was eleven. We're both fifteen. I'm Martin, by the way. Martin Hale."

"Gregory Miller," the taller said, stretching his hand to shake Remus'.

"Remus Lupin. I'll be fifteen on February," he introduced himself, surprised to see them so cheerful, not to mention friendly.

"Oh," Martin seemed to read his expression and grinned. "We're of the few who had actually accepted the Bite calmly enough. Got mine when I was eight. I was on my way back from a friend too late at night on a full moon. Foolish, huh? And Greg here, his uncle bit him by mistake when he was a little under eleven. Poor man nearly killed himself with regret later, from what Greg tells me. Most children here are a sour bunch. Our fourth roommate - he'll probably be here soon - Greg and I know him for quite a few summers. His name is Geoffrey Banes, and he is one sourpuss."

Greg, who did not seem to mind Martin sharing his Bite story with an absolute stranger, nodded fervently. They both looked curiously at Remus, as though waiting for him to tell them about _his_ Bite, but he shifted his eyes from them, ignoring that unasked question. He never told anyone of the way he had gotten his Bite - not even his best friends - and he had no intention of doing so any time soon.

Soon enough, however, before things could turn awkward, Geoffrey Banes, the aforementioned sourpuss, entered the room, and straight after his arrival they were all called for the start-of-camp Support Conversation, as Martin disgustedly called it.

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A few days later, after he settled in, Remus had a chance to have a heart-to-heart sort of conversation with his new acquaintances, but the circumstances of that conversation were not very favourable.

He was rather tired that night and more than that, he was edgy and quite angry. A day in Willow Camp was very strenuous, far worse than any of his Hogwarts days, and that included the day when they had had their first-ever flying lesson, which had been a catastrophe by itself. They were woken up every morning at seven thirty with a loud, shrill bell (someone should have told them that this was a _werewolf_ camp), ate breakfast (nutritious and generally revolting) and immediately after started the day activities.

Most of the activities, which combined lectures, creative work and team effort, made Remus roll his eyes in exasperation if not downright snort. Activities with names such as: "_How To Fit Into Society_", "_The Bite and I - Be Proud of What You Are_"," _I Am Not Alone!_", and his all-time favourite - "_I Am Friendly to the Environment - Accept Me For Who I Am_".

It was that last activity that finally made Remus snap. In the duration of that activity's Creativity Time, they were supposed to write a plan on how to make them likeable to their surroundings. Remus, furious at the subservient tone of the assignment, sketched a full-fledged plan for a prank war against whomever thought a werewolf was their inferior.

"Tut, tut, Remus!" the matronly woman who was the overseer and lecturer of the activity said as she read his paper for the whole group to see what a bad example of Friendly to the Environment he was. "Class, I do believe that young Remus here did not _fully_ understand the nature of this activity! My dear boy, repeat after me! 'I am _friendly_ to the environment! I am _friendly_ and you should accept me!' Come now, Remus! Class! All of us together so that Remus would not feel alone! 'I am _friendly _to the environment! I am _friendly_ and you should accept me!' I am _friendly_…"

"This is bloody ridiculous!" he burst that evening in the room, pacing about, the woman's overly-sweet voice ringing in his head again and again with its stupid mantra. "Martin, you're telling me you've been in this place since you were _nine_! How can you do this? I'm going absolutely crazy here and it has only been four days!"

Martin sighed. "You get used to it, Remus. And eventually you absorb it to some extent. Just go with the flow and everything should be fine."

"I will _not_ absorb it!" Remus snapped. Maybe three years ago he would have calmly listened to the babbling instructors and would have happily _absorbed_ their half-witted lore, but he had friends now. Friends he knew were loyal to him and cared for him because of whom he was.

Geoffrey growled at him. "Face it, Lupin. We _are_ the dregs of society. We _are_ outcasts. Ask all the blokes and girls here - none of them has friends apart of other werewolves whom they meet only over the summer, and you can't call _that_ friendship. Most are afraid to befriend other werewolves _because_ of what the environment thinks of us. These activities which you so abhor are our only chance to have _some_ sort of acceptance within the society."

Remus whirled to face Geoffrey, his eyes narrowed. "No, Geoffrey. _You_ face it. The only reason you don't have friends is because you won't let anyone get near you enough to get to know you. Did it ever cross your mind that there are some people - _some_ people - out there who actually don't give a damn about your illness? People who would accept you no matter what?" Remus knew this was not entirely true, because he had encountered such behaviour countless times before Hogwarts, but Geoffrey's tone had stung him. He had friends, but the older boy made it look as though they were not his real friends after all.

"There are no such people! There is no one who would accept a werewolf! Not one!"

"You're just afraid. Afraid that there _were_ people like that who tried to get to know you, and it wasn't _them_ who shunned _you_. On the contrary - it was _you_ who shunned _them_!" Remus was now speaking from within his memory. He remembered all-too-well that gut-wrenching moment when he got up and told his friends that he would leave and they, with alarmed expressions on their faces did not let him go.

"Remus," Greg said gently, his hand on his Remus' shoulder. "As much as I hate agreeing with Geoffrey-" He ignored Geoffrey's glare "-He _is_ right this time. No one accepts a werewolf. I'm a cheerful enough guy, but every time someone discovers I'm a werewolf - they run away. I told you, I've been in this shit since I was eight and I have never met anyone willing to accept me."

"Well, _I've_ gotten the Bite when I was four, and while I admit that most people behave like this, not _all_ people are like that," Remus said fiercely. "I have friends. Friends who care about me. They _know_ what I am - and they have never cared."

"Oh, righhhhhht. You have _friends_," Geoffrey said bitterly. "Muggles, perhaps? Wizards do not accept werewolves."

"They're all wizards. All three of them are pure-bloods. And they don't care," Remus persisted.

"Oh, and did you ever consider that the fact that you only see them at summers may have contributed to their _acceptance_?"

Remus frowned. "What are you talking about? I see them all year round _apart_ of summers."

"Then they were not accepted to any of the magic academies or schools?" Martin asked, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Of course they do. As do I. That's where I met them. I attend Hogwarts."

A shocked silence filled the room.

"Hogwarts?" Greg whispered finally. "You attend _Hogwarts_?"

Remus nodded. "Professor Dumbledore made all the arrangements. I've been attending it for the past three years."

Martin looked at him in awe. "You're probably the first British werewolf I have heard of to attend that school. How is it that _we_ never got a letter if this Dumbledore is so charitable?"

Remus did not have an answer for that. He had never thought about it up until then. Why was he the only werewolf to be admitted into Hogwarts? Most of the young werewolves at camp were around the ages of eight to ten - which would explain it all - but the few who were older than that? Martin, Greg, Geoffrey and the rest of them? A lot of the children at Willow came from abroad - France, Italy, and other European countries. Some even came from the United States. But all the British children? What made _him_ so special?

He shrugged helplessly.

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It was camp policy to allow family members to visit the children (or inmates, as Remus started referring to them in his mind soon after the first week there) every two weeks. He, of course, did not expect any visitors, as his parents were abroad. The knowledge did not comfort him at all, and he grew increasingly depressed as the weekend approached.

Martin noticed his depression on the Saturday morning everyone had left to the gates to wait for their families. The older boy took his time to go and meet his family, for they had said they would be late. "Family not coming, Remus?" he asked gently.

Remus, who was still in bed, his face to the wall, shook his head moodily. Usually he was the first up, but that day he felt lethargic and not at all prepared to get up and greet the morning.

"Tell you what," Martin said. "Come with me to wait for my family, and then join us. Would you like that? My parents wouldn't mind, and knowing my little sister, she would practically drool all over you."

"I wouldn't want to impose myself-"

"Nonsense! Come on, let's go." He did not allow Remus to continue wallowing in his misery. Instead, he made him get up, get dressed, wash his face and then leave the room. After that, he led Remus out to the grounds and they both sat on a bench near the gates, waiting for Martin's family to arrive.

At the gate stood one of the camp instructors, who held a long list in his hand - only allowing family members inside. Whenever a family arrived, they would give their names. If the names appeared on the list, they were cleared.

The two boys were talking about their families when a familiar voice reached Remus' ears.

"Err… hello. We're here to visit Remus Lupin." The owner of the voice seemed to try and make it sound deeper than it was.

"Your names please?"

"Err… My name is William Lupin, and this is my wife, Saffron."

Remus' eyes widened as the man at the gates said "Very well. You may enter."

"I thought you said your parents aren't coming!" Martin said with a grin. "Seems like they've decided to surprise you!"

Remus shook his head violently, his mind reeling. He could not _believe_ them. But then again, these _were_ them he was thinking about. "These can_not_ be my parents, believe me. My dad never in his life said 'err...' Never in his life, did he utter anything this inarticulate. And besides, Mum is the witch. In everything magic she's the one to do the talking."

"Then who are they?" Martin asked, bewildered. "If they're not your parents, they should not be let in! What if they plan on hurting us all because we're werewolves?"

Remus, ignoring that last comment, got up and walked briskly in the direction of the gate. Martin followed him. Turning halfway to the boy, Remus laughed. "Oh, trust me, they're not about to do that. Come on. You might as well meet them." Then he turned back, his eyes trained on the people attempting to impersonate his parents. Just inside the gate, against the grounds wall, the two tall figures stood. But then, there were no longer two figures. There were three - and they were not that tall.

At that point, Remus' heart nearly stopped, his suspicions confirmed. Though he was seeing them, he just could not _believe_ they had gone to all that trouble.

As the two boys got near, they could hear whispered conversation.

"Get me out of this dress, Sirius!" cried the black-haired blob (though the hair was half-covered by a curly blond wig) who was futilely attempting to extract himself out of a purple dress that would have looked quite fetching on someone who actually had a figure, and was not male.

"But you look so _funny_ in it, Jamesie!" said the boy who was wearing an oversized pair of trousers and a big buttoned shirt, who was removing a light-brown wig from his head, as well as a pair of glasses off his nose. "Merlin. You're practically _blind_," he teased the one who was still on the ground. Beside the two quarreling figures, the third boy, a smaller, chubby one was trying to stifle his laughter as he watched them.

"Help me now - or face your doom, you snake!"

"Watch who you're calling a snake, four-eyes! Wait 'til I tell Keira about this…"

"If you breathe one word of this to her, I'll have your head on a stake. Hand me my glasses back, Peter, will you? I can't see a thing."

"What are you _doing_ here!" Remus demanded upon finally reaching them. Behind him, Martin seemed to try and keep a safe distance between him and the apparently demented boys.

The Marauders all grinned, though Remus had to admit that it was very disturbing to see James grinning through the heavy makeup that transformed his thin face into an _almost_ feminine one.

"Why, visiting you, of course, Moony," Sirius said, his eyes twinkling, removing the trousers completely and putting them together with what appeared to be a pair of stilts.

"And it was no mean trick to impersonate your parents, Remus," James added, taking a bottle of water and handkerchief from the big red bag he was carrying, wetting the kerchief and industriously taking off the ridiculous makeup. "You owe us."

"Err… Remus? Who are these people?" Martin suddenly asked, finally in possession of his voice again.

"Oh, right, sorry. Martin, these are my friends from Hogwarts - you know, the ones I told you all about? - James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Marauders, meet Martin Hale. He's my roommate here. He's one of the reasons I'm not _completely _insane by now."

They boys exchanged cheery greetings. Martin still looked at them strangely, as though not quite comprehending their existence. And at that moment, Remus could not blame him. Seeing one of his best friends in drag and another carrying a pair of stilts around had shaken him thoroughly.

"How did you know how to get here?" Remus finally asked as the four of them strolled around the grounds after bidding Martin farewell.

"Well, I got your owl, and then when I tried to reply, I never got an answer," James said, the folded purple dress on his arm. "I suppose I should've told my owl to search for Remus and not to go to the Lupin Residence, but that's in the past. Anyway, you _did_ say you were going to spend the summer at a place called Willow Gate Camp, so I asked Mum if she knew where this place was, and she made a few inquiries for me - and we ended up here."

"Just like that?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Just like that," Sirius replied, grinning widely, the stilts tilting dangerously in his hands.

"Well…" James said "Not _exactly_ just like that. It was a lot of work, even if I do say so myself. It had taken us all week long to get everything right - especially when we found out only family could visit. We had to find a picture of your parents-"

"So we broke into your house," Sirius said it as quickly as possible, hoping, apparently, to make Remus overlook it.

"You… broke into my house?"

The three nodded, looking sheepish.

"You three broke into my house for a _picture_? Did it not occur to you that this might be considered criminal offense?" By the expressions on their faces, it had not.

"Err… yes," James continued hurriedly along. "Then we had to get the right makeup, and the false hair and everything. I admit your mum's hair was not exactly the way it was supposed to be, but this was the best we could do on such a short notice. If anyone asks - she had her hair dyed, all right?"

Remus could do nothing but shake his head at that, his mouth slightly agape.

"And we cheated James' cousin into doing the makeup for us seeing as we can't do magic out of school," Peter supplied.

"Yeah, Kelly fell right into it," James laughed. "Honestly, the girl thinks I'm a five years old. We told her we were doing a _play_. Luckily Keira wasn't around at that point - possibly at Evans' or something."

"How exactly did you get here?" Remus asked, getting over the shock of hearing his three best friends were trying to start a career in crime at such a tender age, and for his sake at that. Not that the Animagi ordeal did not count as such, if he was already on the subject…

"We used floo from Jamesie's place to a nearby wizards' inn and walked here. When we were just outside the gate I climbed the stilts-" Sirius indicated the ones he was carrying "-and James climbed Peter's shoulders and we sort of… wobbled this way. Pretty neat, eh?"

Remus nodded helplessly, and then, without warning, started laughing.

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"I suppose you weren't lying, then," Geoffrey said quietly that evening when Remus returned to the room in high spirits after finally convincing his friends that he will be fine and that they should get back to James' before his parents start feeling worried.

"About what?" he asked, a little confused, crashing on his bed.

"About having friends who don't care about your lycanthropy."

Remus turned sharply to face him. "How did you know?"

A nervous cough was heard from behind. He whirled around to face Martin, who looked rather sheepish, his eyes fixed on the floor, as though it was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. "I told them, Remus. I hope you're not angry. They asked where you were, and I thought it wouldn't hurt to say. You're not angry, are you?"

"You-" Remus started, hesitated and then continued, "aren't going to tell the management, are you?"

All three shook their head vehemently. He could see the pain in their eyes, the longing and even the jealousy. He had what they could only dream of, and he was dangling it so freely in front of their eyes. He could not blame them if they resented him for that.

"Who are we to begrudge you real friendship, Remus?" Greg asked gently, breaking his train of thought.

Late that night, as he lay on his back in his bed, his arms folded under his head, Remus could not help but thinking about Greg's words. Who were they indeed, to begrudge him? All he did was to show them that there is, in fact, another possibility. He just wished that they could all have their own James, or Sirius, or Peter. If only the Wizarding World would be more understanding. If only people would be more open to those who are different. If only there were more kind people in the world.

If only…

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Soon after that incidence, at the very beginning of August, came his only full moon at Willow Camp. He knew he would only have to spend the one there, but after that one, he had such a sick feeling inside that he simply could not imagine how the others could stand it. It was a horrifying experience for him.

It was worse than his first moon at Hogwarts. There he had a whole house to himself, a place in which to run and get rid of the energy of the wolf. He had furniture to chew and destroy. He had _space_. In Willow Gate, however, it was an entirely different matter. Each of the young wolves were constricted to a small stone chamber which had been dug under the ground, with no windows and one, thick metal door which was padlocked and then charmed locked as well. Inside the cell-like rooms, they were tied with padded cuffs and thick chains to the wall to restrict them while transformed.

As the kindly enough man closed the cuffs on Remus' thin wrists, he patted him sympathetically on the head when he noticed his panicked expression and pale face. "It's for your own good," he said calmingly. "So you won't hurt yourself."

When they came to get him the next morning, he could hear the healer than accompanied the man curse loudly.

"I have never seen one hurting himself so badly," he had said savagely, by the feel of it kneeling beside Remus, who was lying on the floor with his eyes closed. He did not need to open them to know how badly he had hurt himself. The pain all over his body and the sticky substance he could feel on his skin that was no doubt his blood had told him that.

He came back to the camp activities three days later, feeling worse than ever and wishing he had never agreed to spend his summer there. He wanted to go home.

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The three Marauders appeared yet again on the next Saturday visitors were allowed, a short while after the full moon, wearing the same ridiculous costumes as they had before and carrying a load of sweets with them - though how they had managed to lug the huge basket about when one of them was on stilts and the two others were pretending to be one person, he did not know.

Though he had a lot of fun with his friends, Remus could breathe freely again only once they had left, inquiring about the possibility of meeting him in Diagon Alley before the school year began, knowing that they were not going to risk their necks again _and_ that he only had one more week in that hell. It made that last, final week somewhat more bearable as far as he was concerned.

On the final day of camp, his parents came to take him, looking much more tanned than they previously were and much more relaxed. His father confided in him, however, saying that on several occasions he had to restrain Saffron from Apparating to the camp and taking him out. She was like that.

The final weeks of his summer were spent in complete idleness, but after the so-called "excitement" and "fun" of Willow Gate, Remus felt that said idleness was not that bad after all. He _did_ make his parents promise to never send him there again. He could not handle it again. Not ever.

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September first was upon him again, but for the first time since his first year, this date did not bring a pleasant feeling in its wake. He would not ride the train that day. He would not be able to attend the feast that year, would not see the Sorting Ceremony underway and laugh with Sirius and James about how scared the ickle firsties were.

This year, while the rest of the school would be enjoying their first evening in the castle, he, Remus Lupin, would be undergoing the most painful transformation of the lycanthrope. His fourth year at Hogwarts would begin with a full moon.

He had taken the Knight Bus to Hogsmeade earlier that day, very much aware of the fact that his friends were probably wondering where he was at those very moments. He did not tell them he would be missing the train ride this year, too depressed himself to want the pity that most certainly would appear in their eyes. He was not sure whether they had gotten hold of a lunar calendar yet, or if they were worrying about his absence.

Upon reaching Hogsmeade, Hagrid met him with one of the horseless carriages standing behind him. He was not very talkative, and then felt even worse, because he knew that Hagrid was wondering why his young charge and friend was practically ignoring him.

Opting to forgo food that evening, knowing all-too-well that it only made the wolf worse, Remus spent the rest of the time before moonrise miserably trudging around the grounds, his stomach rumbling and his mood very foul. When Madam Pomfrey came to lead him away to the tunnel as was her custom, he did not resist but also did not say anything to her. No word of thanks or reassurance that he would be fine.

_What a horrible way to start a year,_ he thought miserably as he settled on the dilapidated bed in the upstairs room, waiting for the accursed moon to rise.

And as the transformation took over him, he had no way of knowing that only a short distance away, three other boys got off a train pulled by a scarlet engine and stood stock-still as they looked up to the sky, ignoring all others around them, pushing to get to the carriages, and staring at the silver, full moon, wondering how he was faring, and if they would ever be able to help him.

**Oh, poor, poor Remus… I was really upset when the Lunar Calendar told me that there was a full moon on September 1st. I had such a lovely plan for the train, and suddenly it was gone because there was a moon! Damned moon…**

**Anyhoo! What next? Where will the Animagi studies go? What will happen to our friends? Stay tuned for the next chapter! … whenever that would be :(**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	12. Getting There

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Guess who's back? That right! Star of the North is back! Admittedly, next update may take yet another two weeks, but at least I finally updated!

I am at home at the moment and catching up with all my internet duties. I have missed my computer… it is such an infernal machine at times, but really… I missed it. I truly did. So anyhoo! Welcome to the Marauders' fourth year! It is divided into two chapters, this being the first of the two, and the shorter one - I think. Must check that.

Hope you like! It marks the very beginning of the Animagi work!

Enjoy!

**p.s.** before I forget. Someone asked me if the name of chapter 11 comes from the song, which really intrigued me (can't answer that personally since said reviewer did not leave an email). I had no idea there was a song called like that or something similar. Is there really? I had no idea.

**Chapter Twelve - Getting There**

Remus returned to school three days later, having missed all first three days of school. The transformation was worse than usual, and a very worried and sympathetic Madam Pomfrey suggested that it may have been caused by his bad mood, which made it easier for the wolf to take hold of him.

Most of the cuts and bruises either already vanished or were on the fading side. The limp he had gotten from the wolf jumping over the upstairs corridor rail (again), down to the main room downstairs and straight on a broken chair, had disappeared thanks to Madam Pomfrey's expert treatment. He still had a very bad headache and the occasional pang of pain at the small of his back, but other than that felt all right. However, as a small first year's gasp had told him, he looked horrible, possibly very pale and slumped.

He entered the common room right before dinner, hoping to find it empty of curious people and just go up to his dorm and go to sleep, but his hopes were in vain. Sitting by the fire were the girls, laughing at something one of them had said. As he entered through the portrait hole, however, they stopped at once, their eyes widening at the sight of him.

"How are you feeling, Remus?" Rowena asked gently, after being poked by her twin into speech. "Potter said that you were home, sick."

"I was," he said, wincing at the hoarseness of his voice. "But I'm well now."

As he walked towards the boys' stairs, he heard Haley whispering to the others that "He doesn't _look _well."

Shuddering at the thought that they might pick up on what was wrong with him, he hurriedly climbed the few stairs to the dorm, opened the door and slipped inside as quickly as he could.

"Moony!" three voices greeted him enthusiastically, concern washing away from their expressions at seeing him. All three of them were sitting on Peter's bed, bent over several piles of parchments that were stacked at the center of said bed, incidentally the only perpetually clean and tidy one. James was holding a quill in his hand and looked as though he was consulting a thin textbook and in the process of adding comments to some of the parchments that were spread in front of him.

"Hey," he said back in a soft voice, afraid to hear that hoarseness again.

"How are you, Moony?" James asked. "When we didn't see you on the train we checked in the lunar calendar and realized why you're not there. Tough one, was it?" He nodded at the faded bruise on Remus' exposed wrist. "We expected you back yesterday morning."

"Toughest one I had in years," Remus admitted, settling gingerly next to Sirius on the bed. "What are you doing?" he asked in an attempt to divert the conversation away from his horrible transformation, bending over to examine one of the parchments with a complex diagram sketched on it in James' firm hand.

"Well," James said, grinning widely, easily slipping into talking about his favourite subject. "While you were away, first in Willow Gate and then these past three days, we got together and continued researching our paperwork. Thought we might as well make use of the time we had even though you weren't there to help. Here, take a look." He picked up one of the stacks of parchment and handed them to him to look over.

Remus went through them. There were tidy charts with exact dates, final lists of potion ingredients (those they had already obtained checked with green ink, those they did not underlined with red), lists of spells, complete with sketches of hand-and-wrist movements and pronunciations. There was a lunar calendar and more lists of various extra materials needed for the first Transformation. He honestly thought that his three friends put more effort into those lists than all their homework in the past three years put together. It was practically astounding.

"So…" he said, his eyes following one of the charts, "By May we're supposed to complete this whole thing?"

The other three nodded happily.

"And on June, Moony - on June we'll be able to join you!" Peter said brightly.

"Join him where?" a voice asked from the door to the dorm, startling them all. None of them had noticed the door open.

The Marauders whirled around to see Keira and the Carn twins standing in the open doorway.

"None of your business, Keira," James muttered, quickly stuffing the parchments back into the bag that lay beside them on the bed. "Anyway, this is a _boys'_ dorm, cousin, and you, in case you didn't notice, are not boy. Please do us all a favour and get the hell out."

"Watch you mouth, James. What's that you're hiding, eh?"

"Nothing."

But there was one parchment still in plain sight - the one in Remus' hand. Keira, in three long strides, was by the bed and plucking it from him without much tact. It was a family failing, Remus decided as he glared at the girl.

All four Marauders watched in horror as she skimmed through it.

"What's this, James?" she finally demanded, her eyes narrowed.

Before James had had the chance to say anything, Sirius mumbled "New homework from McGonagall. She said we'd fail if we won't do it."

Keira stared at him and then started laughing. She handed Remus the parchment again. "I _knew_ you'd pay for all your pranks, cousin. I just knew it. Anyway, we came here to see if Remus was all right. You still look sick, you know," she told Remus.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you," Remus said politely. "That said, I must agree with James. This is a boys' dorm. Will you kindly sod off?" He could hear the gasps coming from Wren and Rowena in the background, and the whistle coming from either James or Sirius, but ignored it, staring hard at the stunned Keira. She was really at fault, he reasoned with his conscience. He was in a very bad mood, and the last thing he needed was someone prying into his monthly indisposition, or his 'furry little problem' as James often referred to it.

Behind him, James crossed his arms and said in an extremely satisfied tone "You heard the man, Keira. Sod off."

"Fine, you fat-headed pig," she growled, not sparing Remus a withering glance.

"Love you, too, half-witted sow."

With a huff, Keira left with the Carn twins in tow.

James shook his head in exasperation. "She's been on my case all summer long, I'll tell you that. At least this time she didn't come to live with us for a week. Imagine the torture! Anyway, you seem to have diverted some of her anger to your own furry self, Moony! Congratulations!"

Remus, however, was no longer deceived by anything James or Keira had said. He knew without doubt that the two cousins, as much as they tried to deny it, loved each other. He did not feel like bursting James' bubble however, so he kept quiet, planning to share these insights with Sirius and Peter later on. The least they could get out of it would be a good laugh on James' account.

Having been interrupted, the boys opted not to return to their research.

"Did you do our start-of-term prank?" Remus asked with interest, trying to quench his disappointment at not being able to be there with his friends and do their annual routine as it should have been.

"Actually we didn't," James said, leaning back on the headboard, stretching his short body as best he could. "It didn't really feel right, you know? Without you there it did not have a point."

"We wouldn't be the Marauders if all four of us weren't responsible for the prank," Sirius elaborated, then grinned. "Peter suggested we'd do it once you returned, so I mulled over it and came up with a great one - and the great thing about it is that no one would expect it, because we haven't done anything as yet."

"All the teachers have been on edge since the first day because they keep expecting us to do something and don't know from which direction it would come," James said with a broad grin to match his friend's. "It's been hilarious. They jump from the smallest noises in class and they keep glancing at us as though we were some dangerous creatures about to explode any minute."

"You should hear Sirius' idea," Peter said, his enthusiasm evident in his voice. "It's a real way to show House spirit, you know? He's been talking about nothing else for _days_."

"We've only _been_ here for three days," Sirius said, his voice a tad impatient, his eyes glittering. "We haven't done anything yet, and I have a whole summer of pent-up emotion to dislodge."

Wincing at the mention of Sirius' home life, Remus hurriedly asked "Well? What is it?"

It was never a good idea to make Sirius dwell on anything home related. Something explosive might happen.

In a rush, a triumphant smile on his lips, Sirius divulged his plan for Remus' sake. By the end of the explanation, the young werewolf was sporting a grin broader than all those of his friends. It was exactly what he needed after the pain of the transformation and the recuperating.

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The first day of classes was not very easy on Remus. Everywhere he went there was something asking how he was feeling and if everything was all right, if he needed something done for him or if he was about to faint. His friends quietly pointed to him the fact that he was looking pale and sickly still - something which was a rarity these days. Ever since the beginning of Hogwarts his getting better was rapid and after two or three days of bed rest he would be fine. This time he still looked awful and resented the fact, which made him look even worse.

By the time dinner came, he was so much on edge, that he was liable to shout even at the teachers were they to ask him one more time if he was fine. Sometimes being known as polite and nice was a real pain. It was just as well then, that they had scheduled their delayed start-of-term prank for that evening, since he was in a real mood for mischief-making.

The four boys sat together next to the Gryffindor table, away from the girls, their heads bowed together, whispering last-minute ideas and advices.

"Minnie's watching," Sirius whispered suddenly, glancing aside for a split second. "She suspects us."

"Who?" Remus asked, confused.

"Minnie. McGonagall, you know?"

An expression of understanding dawned on the faces of his fellow conspirators. It was strange, Remus thought, but he was not disturbed by his friend calling their sternest of teachers by an affectionate name. For one, he knew Sirius. For another, he knew it would drive McGonagall insane were she to hear it.

"Anyway, she's watching us - I think she knows we're planning to do our prank now that all four of us are here. She's too damn smart. We won't be able to do our prank if she keeps hawking us like that."

"Leave that to me, Sirius," James said, an evil expression spreading on his face. "I'll distract her - I know just the thing. You just go on with the plan." And without waiting for a reply, he turned to face the Slytherin table, taking out his wand.

The other three made sure to look the other way and arrange their faces in the blankest way possible.

And indeed, within a matter of seconds, McGonagall came bearing down on James while he was trying to look as innocent as possible even though three Slytherins by the names Narcissa Black, Regulus Black and Severus Snape now sported bunny-ears and corsets over their robes.

The other three Marauders, all fighting their laughter, drew out their own wands and carried on with the real prank plan while James looked completely straight-faced and innocent even as McGonagall angrily whispered to him to meet her tomorrow night for his punishment. Sirius in particular had a hard time not mangling the spell with his choked laughter.

The spell was cast. The Hall fell silent.

The moment McGonagall straightened and started to go back to the staff table, her eyes fell on Dumbledore. She stopped stock-still, her eyes bulging.

At the very center of the staff table sat a mighty golden lion and calmly talked with the horrified Professor Flitwick as a fascinated student body followed every move of the huge head, some with horror and some with laughter on their lips.

Remus, Sirius and Peter joined James on his detention the next night.

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The first week back was uneventful to a fault. The teachers felt that due to the long break, they now needed to drill everything back into their students' apparently summer-emptied heads. The lessons were intensive and repetitive, they revised on everything taught in the previous three years and started new material.

The four of them swarmed together with the rest of the school through the halls for lunch one day, still sleepy from the aftereffects of History of Magic, when Peter bumped into something solid - or rather, as it turned out - someone. The force of the bump was so strong, that the small boy was thrown back to the floor, hitting it with a dull thud.

"Watch where you're going, you Gryffindor filth!" a tall boy Remus recognized as the Slytherin fifth year Chaser sneered at him.

"Well, if you wouldn't have stopped in the middle of this crowd!" Peter said, stung, his hand going to rub his sore behind as James and Remus helped him up.

"Oh, so it's Evan's fault, now is it?" another Slytherin demanded.

"YES!" Peter said vehemently, glaring at the speaker, several inches taller than himself.

"Is that so, you filthy little pest?"

The quiet voice put a chill in Remus' spine. He did not know why, but the third boy's tone made him think of graveyards and premature death. There was something definitely creepy about it.

"Oh, leave the fat loser, Walden," yet another voice shouted through the noises of the corridor. "He's just Potter and Black's lacky. Not worth a minute of your time. He would most likely wet himself if you so much as point a wand his way."

Now, _that_ voice, all Marauders identified immediately. Severus Snape.

"Is that so?" James demanded, revealing himself to Snape and his fellow Slytherins who had missed spotting the other three while bullying Peter. "I'll tell you something, Snape - Peter's worth a thousand of you Slytherins! So why don't you quit your sniveling and sucking up to these gits and go hide yourself in the hole you've been born in?"

Sirius snarled in agreement, his hand clutched about his wand.

Violence may have ensued had it not been for the tide of students hurrying to get to lunch already, pushing at them to move, ignorant of what was going on. So the Marauders, scowling and feeling rather vindictive having one of their number slighted, let themselves be moved by the throng in the direction of the Great Hall.

"James?" Sirius asked when they were finally seated next to the Gryffindor table, intently staring at his short, messy-haired friend.

"What?" James asked distractedly, considering what food to dish onto his plate first.

"What was it that you told Snape back there?"

"Oh. I told him to stop sniveling and suck up to-"

"No, stop. That was it. _Sniveling_. He always does that, doesn't he? Whenever we do something slightly out of line he always starts whining and sniveling to the closest teacher. Sniveling…" There was a thoughtful expression on his face that rapidly changed into a wide, malicious grin. "Gentlemen," he said, "I suggest that from this day forward, the individual known as Snape shall be named… _Snivellus_."

The Marauders considered this for a while.

"Good one, Sirius," James finally said, his answering grin not quite evil as it was mischievous. "I would suggest taking this a little further and giving the optional name of Snivelly - for special occasions, see. He _should_ have a festive kind of nickname - don't you think?"

"Agreed. Moony? Peter?"

Peter shrugged.

Remus looked thoughtful. He had to admit that he was angry with the Slytherin for saying such horrible things about his friend, and while he was not partial to calling people names, this time it seemed appropriate. Snape should have known better than to goad Sirius and James into taking action. "Let's make this an official Marauder declaration," he finally said. "The whole school must know of this."

With amusement, he thought that his eleven-year-old self would be appalled that this suggestion came from him. Before becoming a Marauder, he was always a law-abiding boy who would never have dreamt of flaunting the rules. Nevertheless, he was now a fourteen-year-old and spent all his time with James Potter and Sirius Black. And besides, the Marauders had to keep their reputation up to par, did they not?

"A prank, Moony?" Sirius said with a gleeful expression. "Aren't you usually the one to say that one prank per week is quite adequate?"

He shrugged. "I've changed my mind." And after a moment added "The teachers are giving us funny looks. We'd better be quiet."

While they were eating, Remus filled his friends in on his idea for pranking Snape.

"-And the beauty of it all, is that no one can prove it was us!"

"Moony…" Sirius sighed exaggeratedly. "Moony, Moony, Moony, Moony…"

"What?"

"You have come a long way since we started up this comradeship - three years are _bound_ to do that, but you haven't learned the most important thing."

"Well?" he asked in irritation.

"We _want_ to be found in this case," James explained with a grin. "We _want_ people to know that the Marauders did this, or specifically, we want _Snape_ to know we're responsible. It is part of the entire scheme, you know. We're working on our legacy here, my friend - making sure everyone would know how dangerous we can be if you pick on one of us. We want our names to live forever - even after we are all long gone! Moony, Peter, Sirius and James - The Marauders!"

"Fine, fine, forget I said anything…" Remus grumbled and fell into silence. Sometimes he just couldn't keep up with those two…

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Late that night, a long time after the Marauders returned from their second detention of the year (given for being tardy by an already irate McGongall who had said they should be thankful they were not losing any points as well), faked yawns and climbed up to their dormitory, there was a small disturbance in the air next to a certain wall down in the dungeons.

If someone was to go past that wall at that point they would have heard fragments of whispered conversation and something that sounded like someone kicking someone else's shin.

"It's _Adonis_, I'm telling you," a small voice squeaked with determination.

No, it isn't. That's the Ravenclaw password," another voice said derisively and with confidence that it was always right.

"Is not."

Is, too. The password's _Badgerhead_."

"Peter, Sirius, you both got it wrong - tell them, Moony," a commanding, somewhat exasperated voice said.

A sigh. "_Fae Blood_."

A stone door slid open, suddenly visible. There were two discontent mutters and a sound of muffled footsteps.

"Where is the fourth year dorm?"

"Their dorms are down there, I think. I think either Gryffindor or Slytherin wanted to be contrary to the other. This is built in a more or less upside down fashion from the Tower. I'm sure I've read something about it in _Hogwarts, A History_."

"Ah, the Marauders Bible… We can trust its words! Let's go then."

More shuffling; a small creak as a door opened; a grunt as someone bumped into the wall in a narrow staircase. Another door opened.

"Eww! This place _stinks_!"

"Shh! You'll wake them, you dolt!"

"Yes - but it's so greasy and-"

"Can you _Silencio_ him, Moony? He's making a scene on purpose."

"Don't mind if I do…"

"No! I'll be good!"

A snigger; a muttered incantation.

"Moony - it's your turn. You should add the time time-trigger spell now."

"Leave it to me."

Another muttered spell; Door closed; a disturbance of air outside the Slytherin Common Room; Silence.

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"I can't wait to see his face when he comes into the Hall," James said gleefully the next morning as the four sat on the edge of their seats, their eyes trained on the entrance to the Hall. They had gotten up earlier than was their wont, and hurried to the Great Hall in hopes of catching sight of their handiwork before anyone else.

_He_ was Severus Snape. And _he_ entered the Great Hall about five minutes later, his face a thunder storm. He was such a sight, making almost everyone in the Hall laugh and point: His robes were bright orange dotted with yellow. His hair was braided into two pigtails. Above his head the wizard equivalent of a neon sign read in hot pink letters which the Marauders favoured: _Worship me:_ _I am the Great Snivellus. Long live the Marauders!_

Yet another week of detentions was added to the Marauders' record after that. They did not care. The expression of rage on Snivellus' face was all they needed. They burst into raucous laughter every time he sent it their way.

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Around the end of September James entered their dorm, very excited. Sirius, who was lying on his stomach practicing the hand-and-wrist movement of one of the Animagi process' spells, looked up as the door slammed shut behind him.

"What did you do?" he asked hopefully, his practice not going as well as it should have.

"Me? Nothing! Quidditch season starts next week. We're having Try Outs!"

"YES!"

Remus and Peter, who were sitting on the floor not far from Sirius and checking their potion inventory once more, having procured two more on a late night excursion to the NEWT Potion stores the night before, rolled their eyes almost as one. There was no talking to the two whenever Quidditch was mentioned.

"Did we make any progress?" James asked, his excitement still evident, settling down beside his friends.

"Not much." Remus shrugged. "We're still missing Bicorn horn and Mandrake. Plus we're not sure how we're going to get our hands on Manticore bile."

"We need to get into Slughorn's private stores, then. Anyone up to the job?"

"I'll do it," Remus volunteered, regretfully admitting he was the man for the job. "You can't risk being expelled from the team and my record's much cleaner than yours."

"Right. You do it tonight?"

"Sure. Lend me your cloak?"

"Naturally."

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The next week two things happened. The first was that the Marauders had managed to finally get everything they needed, marking that week as the end of the very first practical stage of becoming Animagi. The second was that Try Outs were held and to James' great dismay and Sirius' delight, Keira was given the position of second Beater which meant she would have to work closely with Sirius.

It was absolutely terrible to be around James a week later. Now that both cousins were on the team their relationship seemed to take a turn to the worst. During practice it looked as though Keira was doing her best to dislodge James from his broomstick, and James did his best to swoop down on her in surprise, take her off her concentration and make her angrier with him.

Sirius on the other hand, was far happier now, flirting nonstop with the girl, aggravating James and angering Keira even more. As far as Remus was concerned, both his friends were having the time of their lives.

"We're ready to start brewing the first stage potion, James," he said one evening, about a week before Hollowe'en and the third full moon of the year. "We've got all the ingredients, now that we've pilfered the Gem powder from Slughorn's private stock as well as the Manticore bile."

"Good. The question asked, though - is _where_?"

And so the Marauders went out for another midnight excursion, which while not unusual, now had a specific method in mind. They needed to find a place to work, and by Merlin, they _would_.

Around four in the morning by Remus' watch, they reached the seventh floor. Next to a tapestry of a foolish looking wizard being bashed to death by a bunch of trolls in tutu skirts he called for a halt. "This is getting ridiculous," he said crossly. "Let's head back."

"Just a bit more, Moony!" Sirius begged and started walking again.

"No," Remus said, pulling Sirius back a few steps in the other direction. "It's late and we have class tomorrow. If we head back now we might be able to get a couple of hours of sleep. Come on."

"_Please_," Sirius stubbornly said again and pulled Remus back down the hall.

Remus gritted his teeth. He did not like showing up his strength, but the stubborn ass was leaving him no choice. "We are going back to the common room _now_," he said and pulled Sirius with all his might. The two tumbled down on the floor next to the thick wooden door in the wall opposing the tapestry.

Door?

**Okay! How was that for a cliffie? ((ducks rotten tomatoes again)) I know… but I thought it was nice to end the chapter here! Please don't kill me! I promise to be good and do my best to update next week!**

**I do hope you enjoyed this chapter all the same…**

**So! What do we have next chapter? Animagi experiments, Quidditch, dangerous games, Sirius gets a bit of action and more! Stay tuned for all that in the second half of fourth year!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	13. Research

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Ha! Managed to update within the week! Aren't you proud of me? However, I cannot promise such an update every week. In fact, my other story, _Fall from Grace_, would not be updated this week, so to all those of you who read it - I'm sorry, but I'm absolutely swamped. Will do my best to update next week…

Last thing before we begin the chapter - thanks to all those who reviewed, and one again, I remind to those who leave anonymous reviews: if you want me to reply, then please add your emails!

Thanks and I hope you will like this chapter that will portray the second half of the boys' fourth year!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirteen - Research**

"Err…" Remus said with uncertainty, blinking and then staring at the door firmly positioned within the wall, his bleary mind trying to sort through the contradicting signals received by his eyes. "Was there a door here a minute ago?"

The other three exchanged glances and shrugged. "Maybe," Sirius said, but the doubt in his voice was evident.

"Because I'm rather sure there wasn't one. I think I'd remember a door like that. I've never seen this one before, and we've been going around the castle for three years now."

And indeed it was a rather unique door - one that you would recognize immediately had you ever seen it before. It was made of reinforced steel with what look like a very heavy keyhole and all four edges coated with what seemed to be the stuff used for corking bottles of wine. It appeared to be sound-proof, break-proof and most importantly, knowing the nature of what they were about to do, explosion-proof as well. It was exactly what they needed to block their experiments from the outside world.

"You think it would be safe to try and open this thing?" Peter asked, his voice trembling.

"Who cares?" Sirius demanded and took hold of the heavy doorknob before anyone could stop him. The door swung open at the mere touch of his hand. Squaring his shoulders, he went in. Not to be outdone by his best friend, James followed in a hurry. Exchanging glances of pure defeat, Peter and Remus trailed behind at a more leisurely pace.

The room inside looked somewhat like Potions' dungeon, though was not as chilly and foreboding. There was a long wooden table at the center of it on which heavy cauldrons stood. There were knives, phials, jars and bottles, scales, cups and goggles. Everything was tidily placed in neat rows, everything clean and ready for use.

"Wow," James mouthed. "This… this is _exactly_ what we needed. And it was here all along! Right under our very noses!"

"Good," Remus suddenly said in a terse tone. He _really_ wanted to go to bed. "Now we can go back to the dorm and pay a visit to this place tomorrow."

"But, _Moony_!" two voices protested loudly.

"NO! I am _not _having arguments now," he snapped, surprising all his friends and himself. However, he realized that he was far from caring. This was going too far. "I'm tired, I'm cranky and full moon is coming awfully fast. Let's go."

Grumbling loudly, but obeying, his friends covered themselves with the invisibility cloak he held for them and they returned to the Gryffindor Tower.

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"So," James said in a dry voice that did not hide his disappointment. "Where is it?"

It was the next night and the Marauders sneaked their way back to the seventh floor corridor. They were standing next to the tapestry and stared at the blank wall. There was no door.

Remus felt three glares concentrating on him. He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Err…" he began uncertainly, "did I mention the door wasn't there when we first came here yesterday as well? Maybe it'll appear in a bit."

So they waited.

They waited for over an hour when James shook his head. He got up from the floor where he was sitting for the past half hour after standing and fidgeting the first half. "This is hopeless. We have to _think_. What were we doing when the door appeared?"

"We-ell," said Sirius, tapping the floor, "Moony said he wanted to go back to the dorm, and stopped us right here. Then I said that we should go on exploring and went that way."

"Right," James said, once again fidgeting as he tried to envision the previous night. "Then Moony said that, no, we are not going to go on with it and - what did you do then, Remus?"

"I pulled Sirius away to the other direction," Remus said sheepishly.

"Okay, we're getting somewhere. Then, Sirius - you pulled again, didn't you - to the opposing direction?"

"Yeah, but Moony wouldn't have it like that and pulled _me_ again, and then we lost our balance and toppled down - and there was the door."

"Do it again."

"What?"

"You heard me," James said snappishly. "Do it again. Perhaps this was what made the door appear. We might as well try it."

"But I don't want to-"

"Sirius! Just get on with it!"

Remus was not sure that was quite it, but complied all the same. He really did not want James to turn angry with him. He and Sirius pulled each other again, trying to do it the same way as the previous night. Nothing happened.

"So pulling each other _isn't_ the way to get this door revealed," James mused, stating the obvious.

"There has to be some kind of trick here," Remus muttered as Sirius looked at James with an _I told you so_ look. He started fingering the wall, looking for hidden cracks that they may have missed - but there was nothing. "Let's think logically."

Sirius, finally tired of glaring at James, frowned. "It wasn't the pulling, then. What else did we do that could have done it?"

"Arguing, perhaps?" James offered.

"No, it can't be the arguing."

"Why not, Moony?"

"Because if it was the arguing the door would've appeared a long time ago. Possibly when Sirius started whining."

"I was _not _whining!"

"Yes, you were. What else did we do?"

"We were… walking?" James said, puzzled, continuing his fidgeting. "That wouldn't be it. Talking? No. Thinking? No chan-" he paused with something close to understanding on his face, his eyes wide. "Wait. Maybe there _is_ a chance that this is it. What _were_ we thinking?"

"Well, I don't know about you, but I was desperately hoping that we could find a place where we can brew our potions in peace," Peter said crankily. It was very cold in the corridor.

"So was I - only I wanted to just find somewhere so we could go to sleep," Remus said. "But, let's assume this is the basic idea. We want a place where no one will hear or get whiff of what we're doing, right?"

"And we got a reinforced room," Peter said slowly, "with all the requirements for such a thing."

"Right."

"Let's all think about it as hard as we possibly can," James said enthusiastically.

All four boys closed their eyes and wished for a place to brew their potion undiscovered. A moment later they opened their eyes.

Nothing happened.

"But it _has_ to be this!" James said, frustrated. He started pacing back and forth.. "There's nothing else you can think of, is… the…?" James stopped, his mouth agape.

"Where did it come from?" Peter demanded as all four stared at the door that had appeared in front of James out of nowhere.

"Maybe…" Sirius breathed. "The thought _and_ the walk?"

"Could be…" James said slowly, a light coming into his face, a slow smile spreading on his lips. "Let's go and get our ingredients, though, and get started with the potion, shall we?"

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The next week the four boys began their project. The hauled all their ingredients and equipment up to the seventh floor and their secret room that seemed to come into being on demand, and started their very first experiments in preparation of the first stage of the transformation.

To the surprise of his friends, James appeared on their second night of experiments with a pile of parchment. Upon putting it on the work table, he quickly wrote on the top of the first sheet, in bold letters:

_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

The three others looked at him with a silent question in their eyes. Their friend just smiled and said "It's a big thing we're doing here. It may take us months to do everything correctly, and I, personally, don't want to forget anything important. So what we are going to do is write _everything_ down. Everything we do, every mistake, every success. Everything is going to be recorded and written down in our Animagi Research Experiment Record. We are going to do this properly if it would be the last thing we do."

Remus had to admit that there was sound logic behind James' words and was rather surprised that he had not thought about it himself. He did not say a word however, and let James write down everything they had learned thus far without interruption while he, Sirius and Peter started working on their very first potion out of a series of three.

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"Crushed lacewings?"

"Crushed lacewings."

"Stirred thirty-six times anti-clockwise?"

"Thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six."

"Simmer 'til blue."

"It's stays kind of turquoise."

"Turquoise can be considered blue, can't it?"

"No. It can't."

"But-"

"_NO_, Sirius."

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_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

_Oct 28th, 3 days to trans._

_Apparently S. can't be trusted with po. elements. Must gently remind him that J. or P. much more competent in that aspect._

_Have used wrong sort of Cr. Lcwing. Also 1.5 C. too much._

_Will need time to perfect proj._

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"Alright, this should be red by now."

"Red as blood, my friend."

"It says here 'light red'."

"Bugger."

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_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

_Nov 3rd, 26 days to trans._

_G. Pow. not grinded finely enough. Should use silv. pestle instead of pew._

_Cr. Lcwing - 1 C - correct amount._

_M. & S. should be kept away from po. Skills are not enough._

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The first Quidditch match of the year arrived with great anticipation from all sides. As usual, the first match was one between Slytherin and Gryffindor. It is quite safe to say that one could feel the tension in the air in the week preceding the match, even if one was not aware of the standing rivalry between the two Houses that stretched to the very dawn of Hogwarts for reasons that were now so obscure and unclear that no one bothered with them anymore.

In honour of the occasion, Peter and Remus agreed to continue the research without James and Sirius who were spending every waking, free moment on the Quidditch pitch, trying to shape their moves into perfection. The fight over which team would get the right to practice at what hours became quite bloody after the first day, with three Gryffindors and two Slytherins ending the day in the Hospital Wing under Madam Pomfrey's furious glare.

Even the Houses that did not participate, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were excited about the coming match. There was one thing that was always correct about the Slytherin versus Gryffindor matches. No matter what weather, no matter what time of year, they were always bound to be interesting. These were the matches with most fouls and the dirtiest playing. It was a miracle if any of those matches did not end with at least one player needing medical treatment afterwards.

This one was no exception.

Five minutes into the game came the first obvious foul. Again, as usual, it was the Slytherins who had initiated that first transgression of the rules, with their lead Chaser slamming bodily into the Gryffindor Seeker, trying to dislodge her from her broom with one of his muscular arms.

From there it got only worse.

Remus and Peter, who were sitting in the stands, found themselves wincing more than once as James narrowly escaped a hurtling Bludger, or when Sirius was forced to veer off course as two Slytherins came at him from two different directions, making him miss the Bludger and causing one of Gryffindor's Chasers almost fly off her broom.

"Are you willing to bet on how many fouls they will have _this_ time?" Peter asked as the Gryffindor Seeker flew vindictively straight into one of Slytherin's Chasers.

"Not really," Remus replied, wincing again as James was hit with a Bludger on his shoulder. "We can never guess the correct number and you know it."

The match lasted three hours. Halfway through Remus simply took out a book from the bag he always lugged about. It was not that he did not like Quidditch, but they had a horrible essay to write for Potions, which was never Remus' forte, and due to the double responsibility thrust upon him that week when James and Sirius could not work on the project, he had not started writing it yet. It was due the next day.

He was so deeply immersed in the properties of Moonstone combined with Asphodel that he almost missed the cry of "AND GRYFFINDOR GETS THE SNITCH! 200-350 TO GRYFFINDOR! AND APPLEBY DOES IT AGAIN!"

The Gryffindor Captain and lead Chaser, David Appleby, for whom it was the last year of school, had made it his habit to make a victory lap around the pitch whenever Gryffindor won the match. This time he did a double one, delighted that they had crushed Slytherin after last year's performance.

It was at this specific point, when Appleby did his second lap, that the disgruntled Slytherin Keeper yanked the bat from one of the Beaters' hand and before anyone could stop him, before the Bludgers were herded back into the box of Quidditch balls, hit the one yet to be collected in the general direction of the still cheering Gryffindor team.

Straight into Keira.

Luckily enough, the team was near the ground by then. Unfortunately, however, Keira was with her back turned and did not notice the Bludger hurtling her way. It hit her on the shoulder with force, making her body whirl off the broom and straight to the ground.

"Keira!" Remus could hear James' cry of alarm, betraying for the whole school to hear that he actually cared about his cousin.

The next moment, two figures shot down to the ground. One was James. The other was Sirius. They were both by Keira's side in seconds. James was trying to help his cousin up, asking where she was hurt and could she stand up. Sirius, however, took a more direct route. Ignoring Keira's loud shriek of protest, he picked her up as James would never be able to unless he grew up, and promptly carried her up to the castle with James in tow, looking like a worried mother hen, holding his cousin's broomstick in hand as well as his own and Sirius'.

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Sirius, James and Keira did not appear again until dinnertime. It was only then that they arrived at the Great Hall, the two cousins with big scowls on their faces, looking funnily alike, and Sirius with the biggest grin he could muster stretched on his lips. Keira seemed to be keeping her distance from Sirius and the moment she located her friends, who were all looking relieved at seeing her, she veered off and almost ran to them, immediately starting a long rant that even Remus could not hear.

"What happened to make Keira so riled up?" he asked James curiously, making his friend frown and scowl at Sirius.

"That _git_ thought it was funny to make 'good use' of the fact that he was carrying Keira," James replied angrily, though Remus could not be sure why exactly he was so pissed off.

"Oh?" Remus asked, glancing at Sirius, who had the most distinctive Cheshire cat grin Remus had ever seen.

"He _groped_ her."

Remus could honestly say that he was not surprised. During the past month or so, he had gradually noticed that Sirius was giving much more attention to girls than he previously had, eyeing them and flirting with them if he possibly could. It was particularly amusing to see him trying to flirt with older girls, who cooed over how sweet he was and how much boyish charm he had.

And then there was Sirius' thing for Keira, which he could not quite fathom. Sirius enjoyed more than anything to annoy James and James' cousin through flirting with her or being too close to her for comfort.

It was something that needed watching over, and Remus Lupin, Marauder extraordinaire, was determined to be the one to do to the watching.

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"I think it's done!"

"Now we only need to let it cool for three days and its ready for use, then."

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_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

_Nov 27th, 2 days to trans_

_1st sta. comp._

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It was almost Christmas time. There would not be many people around the castle that Christmas. Many families preferred their children to come home, especially these days when it was uncertain whether they will ever see them again. The Wizarding World was becoming a dangerous place, with more mysterious disappearances and sudden deaths than before. Remus knew it would be a lonely holiday, as Sirius was once again going with James to his home and Peter was going to Spain with his parents to visit some family. He would be the only one staying from their year this time.

Though James pleaded with him to come at least for Christmas Eve, Remus firmly declined and said that he could not risk the wolf possessing him more than usual, since the full moon was four days later and he would be weak.

The Marauders had three more days until they could use their first potion, and four days until the holidays started. Therefore, quite expectedly, they were rather bored. Sirius, the most loud of them, decided amusement was in order.

So one evening, two days before they left for the holidays, he called for the residents of Hogwarts to gather in the grounds, away from the teachers view. Quite aware of the Marauders' reputation, all of Gryffindor, most of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and even a few Slytherins, answered the call. Sirius did not tell his fellow Marauders what he had in mind.

Remus had a bad feeling about it, knowing that Sirius had the tendency to take things too far. The location of the proposed meeting was also suspicious - right next to the Whomping Willow. He usually had a feeling of discomfort when he felt Sirius or James were fooling around _too_ much.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Sirius called once people stopped flowing to the gathering. "I have called you all here in order to set a challenge for Hogwarts. This challenge will show how much guts you people have." There was a murmur of excitement that went through the crowd at that. The denizens of Hogwarts were always happy with a challenge. It was part of growing up in the magical environment that encouraged experimenting. Sirius took a deep breath and continued. "I dare you, one and all, to try and _tickle the trunk of the Whomping Willow_."

Silence enveloped the population of Hogwarts as understanding of what was suggested sank in. The only sound heard was that of Remus choking violently and James attempting to make Sirius stop, his face almost terrified.

"Sirius! You can't!" Remus managed through a closed windpipe, wheezing and coughing. No one from the gathering heard him say it. No one but his fellow Marauders.

"Relax, Moony," Sirius said with a grin as he approached his friends, a manic grin on his lips. "I'm going to try it myself - let it never be said I haven't got the guts!"

In a matter of hours, the Whomping Willow Dare was accepted by the whole school. But by the time the student body left for Chirstmas, not one - not even the Marauders - managed it. If only they knew what kind of trouble that challenge would make…

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"It's ready."

"Finally! We're a month behind time!"

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_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

_Jan 16th, 11 days to trans._

_Must speed things up. Behind sche._

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It was inevitable, of course, that something terrible would come out of Sirius' spur-of-the-moment decision to challenge the school to touch the Whomping Willow. The Willow, as was known by the entire school, was a very violent tree, and no matter what was tried, not one of the contestants managed to get past the flailing branches.

It was only a matter of time until some lethal incidence would happen.

The victim of said incidence was a boy named Davy Gudgeon, the son of a very large family of wizards. A nimble boy of twelve with more guts than brains as Remus later ranted.

Davy thought that if he would sprint straight at the Willow, it would be confused and would not react on time. This had ended in the only way it could. The Willow sent two of its thinner branches at him - one thumping him solidly in the stomach, the other whipping his face.

He nearly lost an eye.

That marked the end of Sirius' challenge. It was only lucky that no one told the teachers who had initiated the challenge, otherwise the fourth Marauder would have most certainly been expelled, and Remus honestly could not say what that would do to his friend.

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"Hey, Potter! Where's Pettigrew?"

"Hospital Wing. Mild cough."

"You think Peter's going to be okay?"

"I hope so. He stopped coughing up fur-balls about an hour ago. I think the potion needs a bit of tampering again."

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_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

_Jan 31st, 26 days to trans._

_Sec. Sta. 1st brew failed. Suspect Mntic bile in wrong proportions._

_Interes. Results. P. coughing fur-balls for 6 h._

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"Black! Where's my good-for-nothing cousin?"

"Hospital Wing. He's feeling a bit under the weather."

"Under the weather? James? Ha! Tell him Aunt Laura wants to know why he stopped writing."

"Fine, fine. Go away, Keira."

"Is she gone?"

"Yeah. How's James?"

"Pomfrey says she can de-fur him in about two days. I think he got the swing of wrist wrong, don't you?"

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_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

_Feb 20th, 6 days to trans._

_Note: move. of wrist needs precision._

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"James Potter. Never did I believe I'd see the say in which you'd be separated from your twin brother."

"Who, Sirius? He's… sick."

"Aren't you four sick a _lot_ lately?"

"Err… no?"

"Damn nosy Hufflepuffs. Can't trust them to stay out of our business. Is Sirius getting out tonight?"

"I think so."

"This is _not_ going on as planned, James."

"I know, but I really do think we're getting there."

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_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

_Mar 2nd, 25 days to trans._

_People start noticing that things are not as they should be. Stealth recommended._

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"Look at them antlers on him!"

"Hey, Potter! Nice Christmas decoration! Where did you get it from? Father Christmas' reindeers?"

"Oh, sod off, Snivellus. C'mon, James, lets get you to Pomfrey."

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_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

_Mar 23rd, 4 days to trans._

_Sec. Sta. po. fails repeatedly._

_What are we doing wrong?_

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"Bloody hell! Isn't that Sirius Black there?"

"What, the one with the furry tail? It _can't_ be!"

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_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

_Apr 10th, 15 days to trans._

_S. is an idiot. Should have listened to J._

_S. is banned from doing prac. Work till he learns control._

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"Err… Remus? Why has Pettigrew got whiskers?"

"Um… Prank went wrong?"

"I could buy that."

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_**Ani. Res. Experi. Rec.**_

_Apr 22nd, 3 days to trans._

_Sec. sta. almost complete - needs tweaking._

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"Well. I do believe there is not doubt about it. Not anymore, anyway. You're a stag, James. The antlers came out too many times for it to be a fluke and they are very distinctive, so there's no chance it's another kind of antlered animal," Remus told James one night on late May. It was very late at night, and he was becoming gradually more irritated and was sure he was developing a headache. He rubbed his temple as he spoke, closing his eyes.

"Yeah, I suppose I am," James said, and Remus could hear the excitement in his voice. "Will be, that is. And we narrowed down Sirius to either a cat or a dog?"

"Most likely a dog - I think there weren't any retractable claws in his paws. I couldn't examine them properly, though. They disappeared too quickly."

"And Peter?"

"Some sort of rodent."

"Damn. A stag and a dog could keep you in check - but a rodent?"

"He could press the knot. Small enough to get under the Willow's branches," Remus grunted, wishing James would just see that his patience was running out and that it was time to call it a day. "And anyway, for all we know, Sirius could be some tiny dog. A Chihuahua or something like that."

"Hey!" Sirius protested loudly, making Remus' head throb more painfully. "I will _not_ be a Chihuahua! I will be… I will be… a big, mangy, dog with powerful jaws and flaming eyes!"

"Rabid, you mean?" James asked innocently.

"Shut up, antler-boy!" Sirius called, huffing loudly.

"Do shut up yourself, Fluffy," James replied pleasantly enough, though with a dangerous glint to his eyes.

"I'm not fluffy! Anyway, you _were_ antler-boy a week ago," Sirius protested, obviously tempting his luck. "_Again_, might I add."

"Hey, guys?" Peter said quietly, interrupting the imminent mock-wrestling match. "Wouldn't it be nice if we… sort of… all have… nicknames? Like Moony's? It'd be great wouldn't it? We could… sign our names on notes and no one will know it's us! We can be a secret society kind of thing!"

"Has he been reading Muggle novels lately?" Sirius asked James and Remus suspiciously.

James shrugged. Remus however, considered Peter's idea. "That could be a good idea, you know. We need to sign on our map, anyway, to claim it as our own, now that it's almost complete and all. How about… Moony, Rodent, Fluffy and Antler-Boy?"

"It sounds _lame_," Sirius pouted. "And I'll kill myself before _ever_ agreeing to be called 'Fluffy'."

"Do so," James said cheekily. "Spare me the trouble."

Before they could launch themselves into another pre-battle argument, Remus said "Let's just think about it, though, okay? And now let's just go to bed. My head is killing me."

"Right."

"Fine by me."

"Okay."

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The last month of the year flew by. Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup, but lost the House Cup for some unknown reason (or so the Marauders claimed…). Exams stopped the progress of the Animagi project for that month (mainly because Remus wanted to study every spare moment of the day, to the disappointment of James and Sirius and the apparent relief of Peter). The Marauders end of year prank was a small one (they blew up fireworks within the Great Hall again), since most of the year was spent on their Animagi project.

It was quite apparent that McGonagall was relieved.

And so, with their Animagi project halfway through, the Marauders ended their fourth year at Hogwarts…

**This is it for now! What will we have in the next chapter? Dumbledore apparently makes a big mistake, there is a certain change in Remus' status and finally - to all those who persisted - Lily makes a bigger, more profound appearance!**

**See you all there!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	14. Dumbledore's Mistake

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Hello to all my dear readers! Those past two weeks were very hard on me and I haven't been home once, and so I apologise for the lack of updates, but you really must understand that I had no choice in the matter :(

Either way, this is the summer we've all been waiting for (not really ;) ) and the very start of fifth year, which is a year of action and fun - I can tell you that! So please, enjoy this chapter and tell me what you think as usual!

Enjoy!

p.s. Thank you very much to all my reviewers, to whom I replied to late in time… you're all fantastic!

**Chapter Fourteen - Dumbledore's Mistake**

Remus was home. This summer (thank Merlin), he could stay there all summer, and even - his heart almost stopped at the idea - invite his friends over for the first time ever. He would have to time his request carefully, however, make sure his mother has no reason to object. Oh, the things they could do! He was determined to have the time of his life this summer, no mistake about that.

At that specific time, however, he was too busy to consider anything, pushing away all ideas of what this summer may hold in store for him. Up in his dimly lit attic, he was scrutinizing a piece of parchment, a loaded quill in hand. In a painstakingly slow pace he was tracing the last of their rough sketches of Hogwarts' fifth floor onto the final copy of the map. It was a rather complex work, putting everything together in proper order, and he knew that the two next (and last) sketches, of the two upper floors of the castle would have to wait until the school year began, since he could not perform magic during the summer, and for the delicate procedure of incorporating the newest drawing into the parchment he needed magic.

Technically, seeing as he was the artist of the Marauders, it would be James who would have done the drawing, but the messy-haired boy tended to let his imagination run free every time Remus gave him the quill. That was how the Whomping Willow came out as a particularly vicious-looking tree with fangs and horns and all the makings of a demon on one of their first drafts. It was also how the Slytherin Common Room only very narrowly avoided being titled _Lair of the Damned_.

After _that_ particular slip, Remus firmly took the quill from James' grasp and volunteered himself to do the final drawing. James sulked for a while, but gave in all the same. It was not as though Remus had left him any choice.

About three hours later he completed his drawing. He reached for the sand pot to his right and scattered a bit of sand over the ink. He then breathed gently on it and cleared the parchment, then gazing at it with admiration in his eyes. It was a mightily fine piece of work - even if he had to say so himself. It would be their masterpiece. The Marauders' greatest, everlasting project.

"Remus, dear! I'm home! I've brought lunch!" his mother's voice came from bellow, startling him.

He stuck his head out of the attic trap-door and yelled "Coming, Mum!" He then clambered down and hurried to the kitchen, where his mother was already busily putting plates on the small kitchen table.

"Merlin, Remus! What were you doing up there? You're covered with ink!" she exclaimed, her hand immediately going to her wand in that all-too-familiar gesture that said he was about to receive a thorough cleaning.

Backing away, he mumbled an apology. "Sorry, Mum. I was… writing something."

That was strange. He never blatantly lied to his mother before. He supposed being around James and Sirius for so many years did that to a person. The two had no scruples in inventing complex, and surprisingly, usually convincing lies in order to get out of trouble.

"Well, then - hurry up and clean yourself," she said, realizing he would not allow her to wand-clean him. "Dad is coming in a bit and then we're going to visit your grandfather."

His blood ran cold. He froze on the spot. "He… he hates me," he managed to choke out. It was the first time he had dared voicing the feeling he got every time he was in the same room as his maternal grandfather. He did not want to upset his parents, sharing with them this feeling, but this time he could not hold it back. He had not seen the old man since he had entered Hogwarts. He was so _happy_. He had _friends_. He did not want to be reminded of a cranky old man who hated him with a passion.

"Oh, darling," his mother sighed after watching him for a short while. "He doesn't hate you."

"Yes, he does. Every time you bring me there he says '_did you have to bring that beast here?_' Or he glares at me and calls me a monster to my face. Tell me he doesn't hate me for all you want, Mum - but that's the way things stand between us. I don't want to go."

"Remus, as much as he hides it, your grandfather cares for you. He _loves_ you. He just doesn't know how to show it."

"Calling me a monster sure isn't a good way," he said stubbornly, mutinously thinking his mother was deluding herself. "I'm not going."

"You _are_ going Remus - and that's final."

"I'm _not_!"

"Remus John Lupin!" his mother snapped. "You listen to me, and you listen carefully! You _are_ coming with us to see your grandfather. This may be the last time you'll get the chance! He's… he's… he's-"

"He's _what_!" Remus said testily. He had never seen his mother this upset before - at least not when he was supposed to be there. However, the dislike between his grandfather and himself was so intense, that he really felt like he should stand his ground.

"He's at St Mungo's, all right? He's dying, Remus. Please, do this for me - if not for him. Please."

"Fine," he said, finding himself quite uncaring that his grandfather was dying, and too angry to even pretend to care. He had no sympathies for the old man. He was sick and tired of pretending that the old man meant something to him. Even now, when his mother was clearly very upset, he could not bring himself to be considerate for her sake. He would come, but not for her. He would come for himself, to show that old bastard that he, Remus, was the better man.

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"Saffron, my dear! I'm so glad you could make it! Where is William?" Remus' grandmother said, hugging her daughter fiercely. The old woman looked tired and a little sad, but other than that, was her usual, energetic self.

"The security wizards are still checking him up," his mother said softly. "They're very suspicious concerning Muggles these days. How is he?"

"The same. You can go in. I'll keep an eye on Remus 'til William gets here."

His mother looked about to protest at that, her expression telling Remus that she was about to make him come in with her, but his grandmother had a firm hold on his shoulder, and his mother knew better than to object. When she finally entered the ward and the door closed after her, his grandmother turned to face him with a soft smile. "How are you doing, young man? Hogwarts is good to you? I haven't seen you in a very long while, you know."

While Remus practically detested his grandfather, he loved his grandmother dearly. She had watched over him often when his parents were unable to do so, and helped them finance his medical needs when times were hard. He smiled back at her. "I'm fine, Gran. Hogwarts is really good to me - I actually have friends there."

"That's my boy!" she called in delight. "Are they good boys, like you?"

"Actually…" he hesitated, unsure of whether he should confide in her, then making up his mind. "They're not really the good student type. Two of them barely study at _all_. But they are great, and… they _know_ about me, Gran. They know about me and they don't care."

She looked surprised at that, but then smiled. "It is good that you have someone you can trust that much, Remus. I'm very proud of you. So, to what did Saffron have to resort to make you come here?" Her eyes twinkled as she changed the subject.

"She used my full name."

"Oh, the horror! I never quite knew what had possessed her when she gave you _John_ as your middle name. I told her - 'Saffron, if you're giving the child a good, classic name, why would you give him such a flat, common middle name?' She didn't listen, though, as we all know. Personally I think she did it so she could have that power over you."

Remus laughed. His grandmother was the only one who was allowed to make fun of his middle name. Anyone else would get a very cold expression and would be promptly ignored.

"Ah! There you are!" his father's voice came from behind them, slightly out of breath. "How are you, Marie?" He kissed Gran's cheek.

"Holding on, I suppose. Come on, you two had better get inside, or Saffron would start fidgeting."

Hesitant, Remus entered the ward. His grandfather was lying in the only bed in the room, talking to his daughter in a hoarse voice. She said something and he laughed. The laughter, however, was short-lived, for as soon as he saw Remus, his smile turned into a scowl.

"Why did you bring this - this _creature_ here?" he demanded rudely. "I don't want him here. The last thing I want to see near my deathbed is this monster!"

"Dad!" Saffron protested indignantly. "I brought Remus here so he can say goodbye - not for you to scorn him!"

"That is what he is, Saffron! Your 'boy' is nothing more than a common murderer!"

Remus paled, and without further ado, escaped the room.

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He will not cry. Whatever he will do, he will not cry. Crying is admitting defeat. Crying means that his grandfather's words had really hurt. Crying is not an option.

That was what Remus kept saying to himself, curled like a ball in the corner of the St Mungo's waiting room.

He did not need his grandfather - he had his friends! He had loving parents! His gran loved him! That was all he needed. Really…

But somehow, none of it seemed to take out the sting of his grandfather's words to him. He could pretend all he liked that he did not care what the old man thought of him, but in truth, if he was honest with himself, it was worse than a knife to the heart. It tore him up from inside.

"Oh, Remus," a soft voice said, startling him.

He looked up to see his gran, her old face loving and sympathetic. She sat down next to him on the floor and hugged him tight.

He drew away from her. "I suppose you came here to tell me that he didn't mean it and that he truly does love me deep inside," he said bitterly.

She shook her head. "No, love, I'm afraid I'm not here to do that. Unlike your mother, I am not delusional about this case. Saffron loves your grandfather dearly, and she will always see him as this gruff but kind man whom she knew as a child, and for her - for her he will always act this way. I, however, know him far better and far longer than her. He's a man of his word and I am sorry to say that he feels exactly how he speaks.

"You're but a child and shouldn't be hearing me talk like this, but you deserve to know the truth. And the truth is that he is terrified of you - of what you become once a month and nothing can breach this fear of his.

"You will always have me and your parents - but your grandfather - he's a lost cause. And the sooner you understand that and come to terms with it, the less it will hurt.

"You are going to have a hard life, love - I will not lie to you - but you have to make the best of it - and your friends you spoke of earlier, are probably the best thing that will ever happen to you. Make sure you keep them, eh?" she ruffled his hair and kissed the top of his head. "Now I had better get back to Old Grouch and relieve your parents. They'll be here in a matter of seconds."

As he waited for his parents to arrive and take him back home, Remus' thoughts slowly cleared. He had always been one to sit and consider what had been told to him before he came to any conclusions of his own. And so he mulled over his grandmother's words, running them over and over in his mind and slowly started seeing the clean logic in them and the simple wisdom.

The travel home was quiet - each occupant of the car shut in their own thoughts. Remus did not know what his parents were thinking about, but right then and there, it did not matter much. There was one thing that his gran had said that struck him more than anything else and he was determined to act upon her words.

Remus decided he would write his friends first thing in the morning and invite them over.

He would make sure he keeps them.

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The Marauders were sitting in Remus' attic, examining the latest layer of the Map. Peter was perched on top of a large box containing old clothes, munching on a chocolate frog; Sirius was sprawled on the dusty floor, scratching his nose every now and then and wrinkling it against the onslaught of dust; James was holding the Map critically to his eyes, looking at the finest of lines on it; Remus was sitting in his old squashy armchair and going through one of their Animagi volumes, adding occasional notes to the long parchment beside him.

"You missed a spot there, Moony. The line here isn't complete," James finally said at the end of his examination.

"Where?" Remus asked, relieved that this was all his friend had to say. Sometimes James' comments were far too critical, or so he felt. If there was nothing else for James to say, then he truly did a damn fine work on that level.

"Where the secret passage and the wall meet. Hand me that quill, will you?"

There was a bit of scratching - the sound of quill on parchment. "There. What shall we do today?"

The three boys had arrived early that morning, Sirius with the biggest grin Remus had ever seen on his face. James, who had caught Remus alone a while later before the boys ascended to the attic, explained in a very serious voice that Sirius had fights with his parents - his mother in particular - ever since he first set foot in his London home at the end of the school year. When Remus asked what the fights were about, James shrugged and only said "Regulus."

There was nothing else to be said. Remus knew well enough how bad the relationship between the two brothers was and that Sirius' little brother would do anything to ruin his life even further, to fuel their parents' dislike for him.

None of them precisely knew how horrible were Sirius' home life, though Remus suspected that James knew more than he was telling. After all, the two, during the school year, were closer than brothers, spending almost every waking moment together. But James could be very close mouthed when he wanted to, as proved by years of not exposing their exploits to teachers or students alike.

However, what he _did_ tell Remus, made the boy decide that they were all going to make Sirius forget about his miserable existence at home - at least for a little while.

And so the boys spent the three days they were camping at the Lupin household doing absolutely nothing, and enjoying every minute of it. They planned their pranks for the coming year (barring the start-of-term one, for it was traditionally planned on the train ride to Hogwarts on the first of September), went out on expeditions around the countryside, tried to help Remus' mother in the kitchen, ending up by almost exploding half of it, and playing Quidditch in the middle of the night when any Muggles passing through could not see.

They got yelled at for that one.

By the time the other three needed to go back to their homes, Remus felt that they did a good job distracting Sirius from what was happening in his house. Sadly enough, however, it made it even worse for his friend to go back to that hellhole he was forced to call home. And so, even though Sirius was adopting his best poker face when he took a fistful of floo powder from the ornate tin Remus offered him when it was time to go, Remus was sure he could see the sadness and resignation to what was coming in his eyes, and as he disappeared in the flames, he glanced at James. There was no doubt that his friend was thinking the same. Sirius was in for a hard summer yet.

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It was about two weeks before the end of summer when Remus received his Hogwarts letter that year. It was a very windy day, but Remus liked the weather and even though his mother threatened him with all kinds of nasty medicines if he did not close his bedroom window, he simply ignored her. He loved feeling the breath of fresh air on his face, only too aware of how precious it truly was.

At the time, he was so absorbed in finishing his homework for the summer that he was really surprised when the school owl flew majestically through the open window and hit the opposite wall just as majestically, having been blown off-course by a violent gust of wind that blew Remus' parchments away as well.

He got up from his desk-side and put the owl upright, taking his letter from it in the process. The owl tucked its feathers back into place and with a haughty, huff-like gesture, took off. Chuckling to himself at the owl's expressiveness, Remus finally closed the window.

The envelope was exceptionally heavy in his hands. He did not remember it being that heavy since the Hogsmeade form was added two years prior, and even then it was not _that_ heavy. One extra sheet of parchment should not make such a difference.

Gingerly, he slit it open and pulled out the letter.

A shiny object fell from the envelope together with the parchment and hit the carpeted floor with a soft thump. Remus stared at the object for a long time, not believing his eyes. After what felt like years, he knelt next to it and picked it up as though it was a live snake, and as far as he was concerned, it might as well have been one.

Dumbledore and McGonagall had made him Prefect.

The first coherent thought crossing his mind was _what are they playing at!_ The second was _what will James and Sirius say?_

For all his top marks and diligence, both his friends got higher marks in almost everything without even lifting a finger - they were just brilliant like that. Sirius was far more popular, attracting girls by the dozen, and James was far more charismatic, able to pull everyone after him.

Yet the Headmaster picked _him_.

_Why?_

He was the outsider, the… the _freak_. He was at Hogwarts on Dumbledore's sufferance. Had the Headmaster not been so lenient, he would never have set foot at the castle. Both his friends were far more qualified for the job than he. This had to be a mistake. It was impossible.

There had to be a reason, he knew that, but for all his brains, Remus Lupin just could not come up with anything. The only thing he could think of was that Professor Dumbledore was completely off his rocker and that he had somehow dragged Professor McGonagall down with him.

Once the initial shock had passed, something else entered his thoughts, and worry started gnawing at him.

It was a known fact that at some point one of them would have to take the mantle of Prefect. Each House had six Prefects - one boy and one girl from each of the three last years. There were only four Gryffindor boys in their year, and all four were Marauders - troublemakers by nature - but one of them was bound to receive the badge. It always seemed so far away, however, and he had never even thought about it up until the letter had arrived.

But now… being a Marauder was already a second nature to Remus, even though his conscience had battled nail and tooth with that nature at the beginning. He knew he would forever enjoy a good prank and knew with just as much certainty that were they to stop playing pranks on people, something will be missing in his life.

Being a Prefect meant to keep things in order and punish those who sidestep the laws. How will he be able to juggle both Marauding and Prefecting? What will the others say when they see him on the train and realize that he was supposed to keep them in line?

For Remus had no doubt now. It had come to him with clarity such as he had never experienced before. The reason behind giving _him_ the badge was so he could keep his best friends in check - especially Sirius and James.

They could not give it to Sirius - he was the worst among them considering rules. He would have used it to his advantage worse than Remus ever could. Sirius would have been the worst possible option.

They could not give it to James who was almost as bad as his best friend, and would have quite cheerfully used the badge to his advantage.

They could not give it to Peter who deferred to anything James had said, practically worshipping the ground on which the messy-haired boy walked on.

But they _could_ give it to Remus. Remus, who was the quiet Marauder. Remus, who was the one who always knew when to draw back. Remus, whom they thought would be able to extract discipline on his fellow Marauders.

They would have to learn the hard way how mistaken they were.

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The Hogwarts Express was parked in front of Remus' eyes, steaming. He was standing there for the past ten minutes, staring, unsure of what to do. He knew that his friends would already be on the train by now, and damned if he knew how to approach them with his predicament.

Oh, his parents were ecstatic. They told anyone who would only listen of their son's great achievement against all odds. They danced around him all day long, bought him new robes and a new, bigger cage for Zephyr. They were so happy that he did not want to load them with his own doubts and fears, not to speak of his prank career which he had kept mostly secret from them, as much as he could - the worst parts anyway.

But now, standing alone on the platform, everything came back. He feared his friends' reaction to his new job, and did not dare facing them just yet. He was not ready. And the train was about to leave.

"_There_ you are, Moony!" someone slapped him on the back from behind.

Startled, he turned to face Sirius. The other boy was grinning widely.

Sirius took hold of Remus' trunk and pulled it along. "C'mon. You've been standing there frozen like a statue for who knows how long. Peter's saving us seats and James is having a shouting match against Keira halfway down the train. The train's leaving in a minute, so we had better haul this up."

Remus followed him, not saying a word, glad of the few more minutes he was given. A few more minutes of delay before he had to tell them. He could only imagine what they would say.

James caught up with them just as they climbed inside the train, his scowling face clearing as he spotted them. He, too, slapped Remus' back in greeting and without stopping the flood of his speech, immediately started brainstorming for that year's start-of-term prank.

Remus stopped him. "It'll have to wait, James."

The boy stopped in mid-sentence. "Why?"

"Because I have to go to the Prefect Compartment."

The two others froze.

"Pre…fect?" Sirius uttered with difficulty as though the word was alien to him. "You're a _Prefect_, Moony?"

Remus nodded dully. "I received the badge about two weeks ago."

"That's - that's _horrible_!"

"I know," he said moodily, glad that Sirius had not started berating him. Yet.

"No it isn't."

Both Sirius and Remus turned to face James in surprise. The short boy had stopped behind them, a strange look on his face.

"What?"

"Just what I said. It isn't horrible." Remus watched in concern as something resembling the manic glint Sirius would always get whenever they played a truly horrendous prank on a member of Slytherin House appear in James' eyes. "It's exactly the opposite thing, Sirius. Now that dear ol' Moony here is a _Prefect_ - we can get out of almost _anything_!"

Remus' mouth dropped in horror as Sirius' eyes widened and he started to grin in a way to match James.

"No," he said. "No, no, no, no, NO. I get into enough trouble as it is. If I'll abuse my Prefect rights…"

"Oh, come _on_, Moony," Sirius said, his whole demeanor changed. "This is great! You will have a legitimate excuse to be in the corridors after-hours - it's going to absolutely perfect!"

"I… I need to go," Remus muttered and hurried away. "We'll discuss this when I get back."

He hurried down the train to the Prefect Compartment. Whatever reaction he expected his friends to have - this was not it. Never in his life did he think that they will consider this unfortunate job a blessing. But then again - was it not just like them to find a way to make productive use of everything?

What was he to do now? His insecurities, kept hidden for the past four years, smothered by his tight friendship with James, Sirius and Peter, surfaced back. If he was to refuse them and not allow them to use his privileges, will they not shake him off like an overused rag? Will they not abandon him because he no longer wanted to give all he could for their cause of mayhem?

All these feelings battled within him. Was their friendship strong enough? Could he rely just on that or did he need to comply to their every demand? He was so confused and worried. What would become of him if his friends would abandon him?

In a dream-like state he reached the Prefect Compartment and slid the door open. Seven faces looked up at him in curiosity.

"Oh, hello, Lupin. I supposed it would be you," Evans said from her seat, her face as unwelcoming as it could possibly be. "Come on, sit down."

He headed towards her and sat next to her. "You supposed it would be me?"

"Yeah," she replied, her expression sour. "I knew for a fact that there are two Prefects per House - one boy, one girl. It was only logical that Professor McGonagall would choose you out of the four buffoons."

Remus knew that this was meant to sting. Evans did not like the Marauders. They made fools out of her and the other Gryffindor girls once too often. She made sure he knew how much she disliked him and his friends.

Strangely enough, though, he did not feel any remorse over what he had done. It was all done for a laugh and it was the girls' problem that they did not take it the way it was meant. There was not enough humour in the world these days and they were trying to add a little fun to their years at school.

Nonetheless, he also knew he had to work in close proximity with Evans for the next three years, and that he had better make a clean start on it. That or suffer her intense dislike for that period, and he really did not think he would be able to handle that.

"Sorry," he finally said, smiling at her. "We love a good prank - that much is true. Please don't take it too much to heart. They're not aimed against you."

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," she said with a huff, looking away from him.

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and just said "Nevertheless, I _am_ sorry. We need to work with each other this year - so please, let's not make ourselves complete enemies. Truce?" He offered her his hand.

She stared at it for a moment, almost as if he offered her to shake a poisonous snake, but then shook his hand. "Truce. But that doesn't mean I'm letting you and your little friends take advantage of your position."

Remus shook his head solemnly, inside squirming with guilt, knowing that they _were_, in fact, going to do just that. He had come to realization that he would not risk the friendship he had. He would not even take that chance. He could not. Especially after what had gone between him and his grandfather over the summer. He would not give them a reason to doubt him. Not now, not ever. He still squirmed, though.

Well, maybe not exactly squirmed, but he did feel bad about it. A bit, anyway.

As they were sitting there in silence, all eight not meeting each other's eyes or saying a word, all too excited or too nervous to strike up conversation, the train started pulling itself out of the platform and into the compartment entered two seventh years - Malcolm Oakshoot and Silvia Hornblower - that year's Head Students.

"Settle down, settle down," Malcolm said bossily. With an inside smirk, which immediately made him feel guilty (to some extent), Remus reflected that it would be extremely easy to drive _this_ Head Boy mad.

The eight fifth year Prefects sat down in silence and Malcolm started talking. He talked about duty. He talked about the importance of not abusing their position (_yeah, right,_ snorted Remus to himself, surveying the ones sitting in the compartment. At least two of them would have no trouble abusing their positions, him being one of the two). He talked about rules and how to punish those who break them (The Head Boy's eyes traveled almost involuntarily in Remus' direction at that point). He talked about the consequences of these punishments. He talked and he talked and he talked, and Remus, with years of experience in that department due to being a friend of the ever-talkative James, slowly drifted back to his own thoughts - resurfacing every once in a while to make sure Malcolm did not say anything of importance.

He knew everything the pompous Head Boy had to say. The Marauders knew the rules of Hogwarts by heart - having gone through _Hogwarts, A History_ countless times in their search for new prank material and having obtained a list of the Rules and Regulations a couple of years back . It had helped them see just how much they could tread out of line without risking expulsion, something which was very useful in some of their exploits.

It had been two very educational reads for them.

Remus suddenly felt a sharp jab in his side. Lily elbowed him. Hard. He turned his attention back to Malcolm who was wrapping the conversation up.

"…The sixth and seventh year prefects are sitting in the compartment next door. If there's anything you need from us - we usually stay there all trip long. As fifth year Prefects, you have two duties today. Firstly, patrol the corridors every once in a while - make sure that everything is in order. Secondly, when the start-of-term feast is over, you must lead the first years to your respective common rooms and explain them how the place works. Passwords to your common rooms will be given to you now and will be set by the seventh year Prefects before you will bring the first years along. Have a nice trip and a good year."

Then Silvia gave each Prefect a slip of parchment with their common room's password and added "Don't forget. Password to the Prefect's bathroom is _Apple Green_. Make sure to lock the door when you're inside!"

Remus and Lily got up and left the compartment together.

"You had better make sure I don't catch any of your friends in the Prefect's bathroom, _Remus_," she hissed before leaving to join her friends.

With a casual shrug of his shoulders, Remus turned his back on her and walked to find his own friends' compartment. He was not quite sure if he liked the prospects of the coming year or not. Between having to juggle both Marauding and Prefecting, and handling Lily's dislike, it was certainly going to be an interesting one.

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"So, Moony, how is Prefect life treating you so far?" Sirius asked with a grin when Remus finally walked into the compartment a short while later. He seemed to have gotten over the shock of hearing about Remus' change of position. James' idea had set fire to his imagination apparently, and Remus thought he knew against whom his friend would use that new power that the Headmaster had unwittingly put in his hands.

"Lots of no-no's," he replied shortly. "Lily is the second Prefect - for your information. She doesn't seem too happy to see that one of us had actually been made Prefect."

"That's Evans for you, Moony," James said in disgust, apparently missing the sudden change in the way Remus mentioned one of their chief rivals' name. "Never mind that, though. Prank planning time!"

"Yeah, Moony," Peter said "You came just as we were about to plan our start-of-term prank."

"You were going to start without me?" Remus asked in mock-hurt.

"Erm. Yes."

He laughed. "Doesn't matter. Well? What's the plan?"

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After finishing their plans, the Marauders settled down for a game of Exploding Snap (Sirius lost magnificently and had to beg a hysterically laughing James to re-grow his singed eyebrows for him). The train ride was as pleasant as ever, and Remus almost forgot about his new, encumbering duties (excepting the time when he had to go and unglue a first year from the ceiling. It had been done by Snape and his cohorts, who seemed to want to have a little 'fun' before the school year started. This, of course, led to James and Sirius jumping into the fray, supposedly to get back at them for the first year's sake, but truly - as Remus suspected - to use the incidence to get back at Snape. It was quite unfortunate that Lily had heard the commotion as well and ended up screaming her lungs out at his two friends and at him for not controlling said friends. It was a rather eventful moment for the usually calm train ride).

When the Hogwarts Express pulled to a stop, Remus got up with a sigh. "Take care of Zephyr for me will you? I have to make sure that everything's in order before I go to the carriages."

"Sure thing, Moony. Meet you in a moment?" James said.

"Yeah, yeah."

It took over quarter of an hour to have everything assembled. Lily was still mad at him and his friends, and so she ignored him completely, refusing even to help him when an anxious first year clung to him in fear and refused to let go. Finally everything was done and everyone was off the train. Only then did Remus hurry to join his friends in the carriage they had annexed. He was already exhausted, and it was not even the first day.

He arrived just in time to hear Peter and Sirius squabbling again.

"_CORNISH PIXIES!_"

"Will you knock it off with the freaking Pixies!"

"But they _are_ being pulled by them!"

"They are _not_!"

"You're just saying that because you have no better idea, Peter! Stop denying the absolute truth! They are Cornish Pixies!"

"Cornish Pixies are the last thing-"

"Went back to the old argument, have they?" Remus whispered to James as he sat down next to him.

"Yeah, but be quiet - it's too funny to let them stop and if they know we're laughing at them they'll quit."

Remus composed his face into what he hoped was a good imitation of James' own poker-face and listened to Peter and Sirius arguing yet _again_ about what pulled the horseless carriages.

"-They are huge swans! I swear I heard a seventh year say that!"

"Shows how much _you_ know, Peter. I said it once and I'll say it again-"

"And again. And again. And again," James muttered to Remus who was battling to keep his face straight.

"-They were, they are, and always _will_ be Cornish Pixies!"

Remus could contain himself no longer and burst out laughing.

**Well? What did you think? Was this up to standard or not? I hope you were not disappointed. What will we have next chapter, then? James gets a surprise, Dumbledore is being his loony old self, Remus' confliction is making an annoying appearance again and Sirius gets a _big_ shock. All that and more - in the next chapter, which will appear next week - I promise! (unless something big happens, and then - who know?)**

**See you all there!**

**-Star of the North**


	15. On the Matter of Fancy

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Told you I will update sooner than before! ;) It was a short week for me at work and now I am home for a few days, so if I can, I will update once more before the week is out - but I can't promise this time (I still have to finish that _very_ late chapter of _Fall from Grace_…) - stay tuned however, and I hope I can manage that!

So anyhoo, I hope you will all enjoy this chapter and thank you very much to all those who reviewed - your opinion is always appreciated!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Fifteen - On the Matter of Fancy**

"Welcome yet again to a new wonderful year at Hogwarts!" Dumbledore began his customary speech with so much fervour that Remus felt bad for what they were about to do - but guilty conscious or not - there was Marauding to be done, and there was the traditional prank to bring about.

"Go on, Peter!" Sirius hissed. "Minnie is not watching!"

Peter nodded and raised his wand just enough to aim for Dumbledore. He took a deep breath, exhaled it and muttered "_Wingardium Leviosa Gyratium Down_!"

Dumbledore, whowas talking on cheerfully did not seem to notice that he was floating up in the air - and that, to top it all, he was slowly rotating until his head was down and his feet were in the air.

Next to him, Professor McGonagall watched in horror as the Headmaster finished his speech, ordered the student body to bed and calmly walked out of the Hall, upside down and on thin air.

The students all stared at him in shock, though many of the older years were little surprised by what was happening, already used to the Marauders' yearly prank. Still, no one moved or said anything for well over a minute after his departure, until McGonagall's voice barked "Potter! Black! Lupin! Pettigrew! Detention!"

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That evening, as the Marauders were getting ready to bed, Sirius frowned. "Didn't it seem weird to you that Dumbledore never seems flustered when we do our start-of-term stunt?" All movement in the room stopped.

James, who was in the process of pulling off his jumper, paused with his arms up in the air and his head covered, looking completely ridiculous. "You know," he said, his voice muffled, "now that you mention it, for the past three years we've been starting each year with a prank on him without fail. One would expect him to be wary."

"You… you don't expect… he _wants_ us to do it?" Peter demanded shakily, slipping off his bed in his alarm.

Sirius shrugged, the frown still on his face. "With Dumbledore? You can never really tell, now can you?"

Remus slipped between his sheets, grateful to be back for another year. He had eaten too much, and now all he could think of was going to sleep. "No, Sirius, you never can," he said through a huge yawn. "Don't know about you lot, but I'm exhausted. Night."

"Night, Moony," three voices chorused. He was vaguely aware of them continuing their discussion, but soon was enveloped by the comforting arms of sleep.

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The morning of Septmeber second dawned cold and clear. The sky was grey, and Remus, who woke up long before sunrise had the sinking feeling that it was going to rain. He hated rain.

Around him, his friends were still snoring (or rather, Sirius was snoring - the bloke never _did _learn how to cast a Silencing Charm around his curtains), but he felt too wide awake to go to sleep again. It was still early, but he did not care.

He really did miss Hogwarts - it was almost like home for him, and here no one knew of his situation apart of his best friends, and they were doing their best to help him. Thinking of his friends, it was only then that he remembered. This was the year they were going to succeed turning into Animagi. There was no doubt concerning that. The year before they were _so close_. He could tell that James only needed a little push to complete his transformation - and once _he_ had it, Sirius was bound to get it right.

Peter. Now Peter was another matter. He needed all the help he could get up until now, and they still were not sure of what exact shape he would take. Remus' own wager was a rat. It had to be a rodent of some sort - the signs were too consistent for it to be a fluke, as he told James once concerning his antlers. Sirius was still quite bitter about the matter, occasionally saying that a rodent was of no use to them because it would be too small to help. James kept defending their friend, saying that he would be useful for their general Marauding as well as pressing the knot under the Whomping Willow that froze the branches. The argument was currently at a standstill.

As much as he was worried about Peter's success however, he knew that with teachers like James - who was their year's champion in Transfiguration and one of the best in the entire school - and Sirius - even as reluctant as he was - there was little to fear. The two knew their material.

There was no sun in the sky as he shook his thoughts away and looked up to the window. He estimated it was around five thirty in the morning - much too early to wake any of his friends.

With a sigh, he got up, collected his towel and a clean robe, and as quietly as he could, walked to the bathroom.

By the time he got out, there was a bit of stirring from James' direction which was quite promising.

He sat down on his bed and waited for the others to be ready. It was a slow, slightly depressing morning.

Over breakfast, McGonagall handed them their new timetables and then called James for a brief talk in her office. When he met them for Potions, later on, he had a stunned expression on his face. He arrived there just in time, muttering a quick apology to Slughorn, and settled beside his friends, doing a very good impression of a fish out of the water as he occasionally opened his mouth as though about to say something and then closing it again as though he could not believe himself.

"Well?" Sirius asked in amusement, not bothering to lower his voice. "What did Minnie want? Did you annoy her _again_, Jamesie? How _do_ you do that? We just got a detention for last night for that marvelous prank we pulled!"

James did not even seem to register the sting. "She made me Captain."

"Come again?" Sirius said, frowning, thinking he had heard wrong.

"She made me _Captain_, Sirius. _Me_."

Sirius stared at his best friend for a moment, and then a wide grin spread on his face. "Congratulations, mate! It could only have been you! Oh, just you wait 'til dear Keira hears this!"

James' eyes widened, and Remus realized that up until then he had completely forgotten his cousin was on the team. It took him only a fraction of a second to get over his shock and go over the range of possibilities _this_ opened up for him. Suppressing an inward sigh, Remus just shook his head. Once a Marauder, always a Marauder. Keira had no idea what was coming.

Before Remus could do anything to stop him, James shouted across the class (completely ignoring Professor Slughorn who was going over the name-list) "Oy, Keira!"

"What?" his brown-haired cousin hissed, casting an apologetic glance in Slughorn's direction. She looked ready to strangle James, who looked positively radiant.

"Guess what?" James continued, not seeing Slughorn's frown as he came striding towards him.

"Not now, you stupid git! Talk to me later - if you're not up to your ears in frog guts!" she practically bristled. Next to her, Lily Evans rolled her eyes.

"Mr. Potter!" Slughorn suddenly roared in James' ear.

James jumped so high that he knocked into Sirius and pushed the poor boy off his chair. "Yes, Professor?" he asked, attempting to look innocent.

"Have you anything you'd like to share with the class?"

"As a matter of fact-" he began before Remus kicked him from under the table.

"Ouch! Err… No. I suppose I don't."

"Good. So be quiet. If I will hear you shouting things at Miss Palmer again, I will take points off of Gryffindor."

"Yes, sir."

Once Slughorn strode off back to his desk, James hissed "Why did you do that, Moony?"

"Just because," Remus said, shaking his head. Admittedly, he did not _have_ to kick James - he could have elbowed him just as well, but as past experience with James had taught him, the best way to shut him up was to kick him. Hard. "I didn't want him to take points, is all. We'll get enough points off Gryffindor along this year - why start so early? - and for such a petty reason as well."

"It wasn't _petty_," James pouted. "But I guess you're right. She's not worth it."

They all dozed through Slughorn's introduction to OWL year Potions which was rather boring, if Remus had to confess. At some point Sirius whispered that after doing the potions for the Animagi Transformation, the Draught of Living Death will be like a walk in the park. Remus, feeling that he was the one who had to make his friends realize that they need to be secretive, glared at him and hissed for him to shut up. Luckily enough, no one seemed to notice Sirius' slip of the tongue.

Once the lesson was over, an incredibly smug James dragged them all to the other side of the classroom, where Keira was packing her things, chattering with her friends, who had started scowling the moment the Marauders approached their table.

James, entirely undisturbed by this chilly welcome, walked briskly and stopped right in front of his cousin, his smirk widening.

She ignored him for well over a minute before saying "You're not going to leave until I'll ask you what you have to say, are you?"

James shook his head, his grin growing bigger, but saying nothing.

"_Fine_," she said with a huff. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Guess who the new Gryffindor Captain is."

She stared at him. Remus could tell she was horrified. "She _didn't_."

"Oh, yes she did," James said gleefully. "Wonderful, isn't it?"

"What - how - why - you bribed her, didn't you!" she spluttered.

James laughed. "Bribe? McGonagall? Are you out of your mind, Keira? First practice tomorrow, five thirty - McGonagall had the pitch booked for us. I want to assess everything we have and find a date when all of us are free for the Try Outs. We need a new keeper and a chaser. Be there, cousin dear, or I might just take you off the team!"

He led the Marauders after him, leaving a disgruntled Keira behind.

"You wouldn't _really_ take her off the team, now would you, James?" Peter asked.

"Nah. She's too good a beater to lose - even if she badmouths me on every opportunity."

"But you badmouth her in return."

James looked thoughtful. "So I do. What have we now?"

"History of Magic."

"Oh, bugger."

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During History of Magic, while staring blankly at Professor Binns, attempting to actually _listen _that year and failing miserably, Remus was levitated a note. Rolling his eyes, thinking that they were starting early this year, he picked up the note and, making sure the Professor was immersed in his own notes, he unfolded it and read:

_"Oy, Moony,_

_"We're meeting in the Room tonight. Jamesie thinks he may have discovered what went wrong last year when we couldn't complete the Transformation. He says it might sound far-fetched, but he reckons we just concentrated on the wrong things. No idea what he's talking about. He can sometimes be insane like that, as you know._

_"Jamesie says that you should bring the Map and try completing it while we're working on the Transformations because it might take a long while._

_"Sirius."_

Remus' heart raced. His first suspicion was correct. They _were _starting early this year. His first _real_ rule breaking since he became Prefect. Must it be so soon after receiving his badge? Normally they had had a short break after start-of-term stunt before starting their prank streak in earnest.

But then again, this was not on prank business, now was it?

He caught sight of Lily's hair a few seats ahead of him and felt a tiny twinge of guilt. She was already working so hard - helping the first years and everything - and he had done nothing. No, worst than that - he had played a prank on the Headmaster.

Oh, well.

He scribbled a quick reply:

_"Count me in. Tell James to make sure to not forget the Cloak. I get the feeling Evans is going to be haunting our steps this year - mine in particular."_

He levitated the note back to Sirius, who, upon reading it, gave him a thumbs-up and whispered something to James who had been sitting next to him. James absently half-turned and nodded, returning to whatever it was he was doing beforehand, scribbling on his parchment what was sure _not_ to be notes.

Something then happened, that caught Remus completely by surprise. For a moment, just for a moment, James raised his head from the desk and looked at Lily's back. It was so quick, that Remus was not even sure he _had_ seen it.

For a fraction of a second, James' eyes widened, his mouth dropped slightly open and his glasses slipped off the bridge of his nose. A moment later his head was bowed again and he was whispering something back to Sirius and snickering.

Was this a figment of his imagination - or had he really seen it? And if it _did_ happen - what did it mean? Not for a moment did he consider that this may not have any meaning at all. He had known James Potter for much too long.

Debating this question, Remus turned to scrutinize Lily critically. She had grown over the summer, he decided, that much was true. She had cut her dark red hair to her shoulders and had it pulled back from her face by two small hairpins, the rest of it cascading down in waves. She did not grow much in height, being one of those girls who were doomed to remain small their entire life, unless growing sideways, but her childish figure had been fine-tuned over the summer into the figure of a lovely young woman.

Lily Evans was very pretty, and she did not mind showing it.

Still, Remus could not think of anything that would have startled his friend so much. James had known and disliked Lily for four years now, making it his mission in life to make hers miserable. Had he suddenly changed his mind?

Remus decided to ask James when the lesson was over. Or better yet - ask Sirius whether he had noticed the same strange spectacle as he. It would be safer than to ask James who most likely would deny everything. Remus doubted if he was very much aware of the fact that his mind was changing - if it was indeed doing so.

The moment Binns finished droning (on what, Remus was no longer certain, having more important things on his mind), Remus jumped out of his seat and hurried to Sirius, catching his attention while James was packing his things.

"Can I talk to you about something, Sirius?" he asked in a low voice that he was sure would not reach James' ears.

Sirius looked surprised at the sudden attack, but nodded. "Yeah. Sure, Moony. What can I do to help you?"

"Not here," he whispered, nodding his head meaningfully towards James, who was still slowly packing his bag and yawning vigourously in the process, one hand going to his eyes as he blinked sleep out of them.

"Hey, Jamesie!" Sirius called.

"Whaaaaaaaat?" the boy in question replied, stifling a yawn.

"Moony and I will catch up with you and Peter in Charms, all right? We need to check something out."

"Sure, sure," James grumbled. "Go. Leave me alone to face the wrath of Keira without backup."

Sirius grinned. "Knew you'd understand. C'mon Moony."

They walked out of the classroom and into a minor passageway off the main corridor.

"So, what is it that you wanted to talk about and wouldn't have James hearing, Moony?" Sirius asked quietly, brushing a strand of hair away from his eyes, his perceptiveness as acute as ever.

"Well, it's just that - I'm not a hundred percent sure about this, you must understand - and I can't really be certain and all - I only thought I'd seen it for a moment there - could be a fragment of my imagination - or a figment of a dream - you know how tedious History is-"

"Moony," Sirius said exasperatedly. "Will you just spit it out?"

"Yeah, right," he mumbled nervously. "D'you… d'you reckon James… fancies Evans?"

It took him a moment to realize that Sirius was not walking alongside him. Turning around, he saw his friend rooted in place, staring at him. On his face was such an incredulous expression that Remus felt himself smile. At this, Sirius apparently got the wrong idea, for his face crinkled and he started laughing.

"That was the best joke I've heard in a long time, Moony! Where did you think _that _up?" He then saw the changing look on Remus' face and sobered up. "You were serious?"

"Completely serious. Didn't you see how he looked at her today in History? He practically drooled - if only for a second. I swear I've seen it. I may have misinterpreted it, but-"

"No, no. Moony, you have _got_ to be wrong. James _despises_ Evans. She represents so much of what he works against - Merlin, she's the _establishment_ as far as he's concerned! In one league with the teachers! He's been playing pranks on her from day one! She was his first prank victim _ever_! Why would he go and change it all just like that? No. It's not like James. You're wrong, Moony. For a change you're wrong."

"I'm _telling_ you, Sirius - I've seen it only for a second - but I'm telling you - James suddenly realized that Lily Evans may actually be a potential girlfriend."

"_What!_" Sirius paled.

"Oh, come _on_, Sirius. You know the routine - boy likes girl, boy asks girl out - you've been doing this for months!"

Sirius gaped at him. "You _knew_?"

Remus had to work hard to keep his surprise in check. He did not actually know this for real, but his Marauder mind told him that would be the best approach. At worst he would have been wrong. He did not really expect to be right. He also made a mental note to tell James that Sirius has been dating girls without telling any of them.

What he said, however, was "Of course I knew! Did you think us so blind that we couldn't see where you're going every time you said you're going to the library? (_Actually,_ he thought _ Now that I think of it, it does make sense..._) Please! Sirius Black? Going to the library? On a Saturday evening?"

"Okay, okay! I'll admit it! But… this is _James_ we're talking about - his whole world is… is Quidditch and pranks!"

"Sirius," Remus said gently, suddenly, in a flash of understanding, seeing what was bothering Sirius. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe this is _not_ all that interests old Jamesie? I mean, until our summer before third year you had no idea that he was painting, did you? There is a little more to James Potter than sports and playing jokes."

Sirius looked at him as if he was mad. "You're crazy, Moony. Even if I admit that sometimes that Other James makes an appearance, he will _never_ fancy Evans - really! It's Eee-vans," he stressed that last word, disgust written clearly on his sharp features.

And then, with an impatient wave of his hand, as though he was erasing everything Remus had just said, he led Remus back to the main corridor and to Charms Classroom.

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During Charms Sirius looked slightly sick. He kept looking from James, to Lily, to Remus and back to James. He seemed very flustered and kept losing his thread of thought. For the first time in years, he did not manage to properly execute the new spell they had learned that day. His heart simply was not in it.

Remus felt almost sorry for him. Almost.

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Sirius was at a loss. If he did not have that lost expression on his face, Remus would have been tempted to laugh. But by the time the first day back was over, he started feeling worried. Sirius did not say a word to James ever since Remus asked him if he, too, thought there was something between Lily and James. He all but ignored his best friend - and Remus could see it bothered James a lot. The relationship between the two boys was much more complex than people tended to think. They were not friends. They were _brothers_.

Now that Sirius was distancing himself from James and without any apparent reason to the other Marauder, James seemed to lose his touch. Something in his life was missing, and as hours turned into days, Remus knew he had to do something to change it. They did not even discuss the Animagi process in the end - Sirius giving some sad excuse about not feeling all too well and could Remus please tell that to James because he, Sirius, was going to be deeply asleep before James would come up, all worried, to check up on his friend.

When McGonagall came by one day, about two weeks later, and curtly told them they were expected to report to her office at ten past eight that evening (they would have to postpone their planned prank session - the first one James managed to convince Sirius was absolutely necessary - unfortunately) and Sirius merely gave her a confused sort of look - Remus decided that was quite enough.

"James, Peter," he said, getting up from his chair in front of the common room fireplace, the place the Marauders always managed to get without fail, "would you terribly mind if I whisk Sirius away for a bit? I need to make things clear for him."

"What things?" James asked curiously, idly twirling his wand. He had been very absent-minded those past few days, and Remus had no doubt over the reason.

"Girl things," Remus replied with a roll of his eyes.

"Ah."

_Was that disgust on his face?_ Remus wondered, trying to interpret the strange expression spreading on his friend's face. He decided it was only bemusement, took hold of Sirius' sleeve and dragged the shocked boy up to the dorm, where he slammed him into a chair and glared at him.

Remus knew his glare was effective. He had been perfecting it for four years. He had different glares, each implying something else - mostly various degrees of disapproval.

His fellow Marauders especially dreaded the one he used on Sirius at that instant.

The _Well?_ Glare.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably in the chair, trying to avoid looking into Remus' eyes, but feeling compelled to do so. They always did. Finally, he said "Well, what?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Well, what? Come on, Sirius! Get it out! What bothers you so much in James having his eyes on Lily? Why are you so in shock? And moreover than that - I just asked you if you _thought_ James fancied Lily - I didn't go straight out and told you that as a complete fact!"

Sirius squirmed, again shifting his eyes away from Remus', but inevitably going back to them, as though compelled to do so. "I don't have a problem with that. He can fancy whomever he wants."

"Then why are you so nasty to James? You've been ignoring him since Monday!" Remus snapped. He was sick and tired of Sirius denying what he was obviously doing and he had had enough of the way he treated the poor James.

"I haven't… been ignoring him."

"Oh, yes you have! It hurts him! You're his best friend for Merlin's sake! Not me - not Peter - _you_. I've known him for longer than you have and yet he chose _you_ as his confidant and best friend. You are blinder than he if you can't see that James cares greatly about what you say and what you do. He trusts you beyond anyone else and considers your advice above anyone else's! You are pushing him away and it _hurts_ him! Why can't you _see_ that?"

"But - but that's just it!" Sirius protested, his eyes gleaming angrily, his body halfway out of the chair. "I'm his _best friend_. If he has a thing for Evans he should tell me! Why does he hide it?"

Remus sighed and gently pushed his suddenly unresisting friend back into the chair. "Did it ever occur to you that he may not be aware of what he feels for Evans? _Or_ that he had only recently discovered it? He may be trying to sort through those feelings himself before he approaches any of us." He started pacing in the room. "Not that you are one to talk."

"What does that suppose to mean?" Sirius demanded, affronted.

"_What does that suppose to mean?_ Sirius! Let me ask you something. Have you ever told any of us that you were dating girls? Any girl?"

Sirius examined his fingers closely, stubbornly refusing to meet Remus' gaze.

Remus plodded on. "You've been seeing various girls for - for who knows how long! And you never said a word! Not to any of us! What makes you so different? What gives _you_ the right to remain silent but not to James? Don't you think that James is hurt by you not telling him about all those dates you've been having since last year?"

"But I don't _feel_ anything for those girls, Moony!" Sirius protested, his eyes once again meeting Remus'. "They're just flings. Just a way to test the waters, so to say."

"Test the waters for _what_?" Remus demanded and then it clicked. "Oh. I see. You're trying to attract _her_ attention, aren't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Moony," Sirius said with that practiced expression of innocence on his face and Remus knew that he would not be able to extract anything further from his friend. Not for a while, anyway.

Then Sirius breathed deeply and said "But, you're probably right, Moony. I'll stop ignoring James. It's not _his _ fault that Evans is using her dark charms on him. C'mon, James and Peter must be wondering where we had gone to."

"Whatever you say, Sirius," Remus murmured. "Whatever you say…" Sirius' agreement was too quick to his liking. He was not certain that Sirius saw things the way he saw them - no, cross that - he was certain that he did_ not_. Nonetheless, he followed his friend back to the common room where they stayed until the last minute possible. Then they walked to McGonagall's office.

Sirius did not ignore James this time.

"You're late," she said tersely. "I said ten past eight sharp. It is half past eight now."

James gave her a charming smile and shortly apologized deeply for all of them. McGonagall was perhaps the only teacher he did not spout a whole speech to when he was apologizing. Even Dumbledore got a taste of the boy's speeches when he caught them out of bed one night at the kitchens. That night they ended up having a long conversation about socks with the esteemed Headmaster over hot chocolate. They did not even get a detention for it.

McGonagall just rolled her eyes, however, and handed out their detentions. "Lupin and Potter - Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey informs me the place needs a cleaning up. Black and Pettigrew - Dungeons with Mr. Filch. He'll meet you in the Entrance Hall. As a matter of fact, you were supposed to meet him there a quarter of an hour ago. I don't imagine he'll be very pleased. Go."

They went.

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"And people claim McGonagall hasn't got a sense of humour," James told Remus as they scrubbed the Hospital Wing's floor some time later.

"Oh, she has one," Remus replied grimly, feeling the muscles in his back groaning with effort "A very black and twisted one - but a sense of humour nevertheless. I wonder how Sirius and Peter are faring."

He risked a glance at James. His fellow Marauder seemed completely engrossed in the chore of spilling some Anti-Vomit Solution on an especially stubborn spot. This was not like James. Though Remus had to admit that he looked in much higher spirits than before.

"What are you up to?" he asked.

"Nothing," James said, but his grin gave him away. "Just something I want to try out. Haven't used it at all until now because Sirius was acting like an ass for some unknown reason, but I hope he will respond this time. Is Pomfrey back in her office? I can't see her from over here."

Remus nodded. "She went there about a minute ago, looking dead on her feet. She's probably snoozing on her desk. Why?"

James said nothing, but threw his hand into his robes. When he drew it out, he was holding a small mirror in his hand.

_What the-_ Remus' first thought was. What was _James_ of all people doing with a mirror? Mister Scruffy-Is-Good? The Boy Who Liked His Hair Looking a Complete Mess? Not for the first time that day, he started wondering if his friend was slightly off his rocker.

What he _said_, however, was "Need to fix your makeup, Jamesie?"

Oh, Merlin. Sirius Black was _contagious_.

James rolled his eyes, though those hazel orbs were twinkling with laughter. "_No_. Sirius Black."

Remus was confused. What had Sirius to do with- "Aaah!"

"Oh, shush, Moony," Sirius' face said from the confines of James' mirror. "You don't want Pomfrey to come and check what's the noise all about, now do you? You might get us caught."

"What _is_ this thing?" Remus demanded weakly, staring at the small, normally-feminine contraption in James' hand. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized that Sirius was once again his normal self, but that realization was pushed far back with the shock of seeing Sirius' face within the confines of the mirror.

"A start-of-term present from Mum and Dad," James supplied "Or rather - from Dad. If Mum hears of this… Well, let's just say that I don't fancy being there when she does."

"It's not… _dark_, is it?"

"'course not! My dad would never mess with the Dark Arts. No, it's not the thing itself that would make Mum go berserk. It's the use Dad said he recommended for it. It's a two-way mirror. Sirius has the second one."

"Now we can communicate even when we have separate detentions!" Sirius said gleefully.

Yes. Remus knew the reason behind their separate detentions was that many a time before they had taken it as an opportunity to create even more havoc. The teachers took special care to separate James and Sirius, because they recognized them as the masterminds of the pranks.

Now even _that_ precaution was null and void. Remus felt a grin tug at the corners of his mouth. Marauder is what a Marauder does. The teachers had no chance against them.

"So," he said. "What shall we do next?"

"We need to meet, to finish-" Sirius stopped for a moment "To finish you-know-what. I'm sorry for postponing it all the time, but I'll make up for it."

It was strange to hear the proud Sirius Black apologizing, but Remus knew it was his way of saying he was sorry for ignoring James and straining their friendship.

"We're very close," James agreed, accepting the apology in the spirit it was given. "We nearly did it last year."

"You mean _you_ nearly did it," came Peter's voice from within the mirror. It was slightly distorted, so Remus assumed he was not quite close to the contraption.

"Oh, Peter, you'll be able to do that too in next to no time!" James tried to reassure him as always. "What have you got _me_ for?"

Remus supposed Peter was feeling a bit of a loser. James had been so _close_ the year before. Sirius, too, was almost at James' level. But Peter was miles behind them and it hurt the small boy to no end. He so much wanted to be like their two next-to-genius friends.

"Know what, Peter?" James suddenly continued, startling Remus out of his thoughts. "On our next meeting we'll concentrate on helping you, all right?"

Remus could see the tension in Sirius' eyes. _He_ did not think it all right. _He_ wanted to plod forward and achieve the transformation. But eager or not, they all knew that not one of them will oppose James once he had decided on a course of action.

Later that night, when he was preparing himself to bed, it suddenly occurred to Remus that James' word was _always_ the final word. They may argue and attempt moving him from his position - but once James said something is final, it _was_ final.

How did this happen? How did James become their unquestioned leader? He never really thought about it before.

The crazy ideas were mostly Sirius', as were the nastier ones. The logical course of action and the practical ways in which they could actually perform said crazy ideas were Remus', and his job was also to put a stop to any too nasty ideas from rolling. The small ways for improvement of said crazy ideas were Peter's. James, however, was the one who put it all together. He ordered them around - and they willingly followed. What he said was a rule.

_Maybe it's because he owns most of the things we use in pranks?_ Remus mused. But, then again, they went around the school after hours even before James received his Invisibility Cloak, did they not? So it could not be that.

It was plain weird, how the messy-haired boy simply floated into the spot of leader without even asking for it. He radiated charisma all around him. He was the one to unconsciously take charge of everything. Normally he was also the one to take up the blame. It was their own fault that they got detentions as well. They just could not let their friend take all punishments on himself. _"'Always own up to your actions', that's what my dad always told me - and I do."_ James had told him that back when they first met on the train on their very first year. He had yet to back away from it.

The last thing on Remus' mind before he fell asleep was _I am so lucky to have James as a friend…_

**Awww… isn't that _sweet_? I hope you liked this chapter and I'd like to hear your thoughts on it! What will we have in the next chapter then? More about Animagi, names and sheer fun! Also, headaches, Evans-bating and so much more!**

**See you all there!**

**-Star of the North**


	16. Our Secret

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** ((inches into the screen guiltily)) Well, it has been a while, hasn't it? No excuses this time, just the plain fact that I don't have time on my hands to complete chapters as fast as I would like to. I'm working many hours a day and usually I'm too tired to do anything other than sleep - not even scribble a few words in my notebook.

Rest assured that my stories will not be abandoned, but if you read _Fall from Grace_ then know that the next update won't be up for a while yet, since I'm having troubles making the plot work the way I want it to - it will take a while to fix all the glitches in the main idea - but fear not - it _will_ be updated.

Anyhoo, this is the chapter many of you have been waiting for - so enjoy!

**p.s.** someone asked me if I realized that Harry got his Captain position in the letter he received _before_ the school year started. My answer (in case anyone else wondered about it) is this: Yes, I realize it, but the way I see it, James was so much of a troublemaker that McGonagall was reluctant to give him a "prize" of sorts by giving him the position. She only came to a conclusion long after James' letter had been sent and therefore decided it would be better to inform him at school.

Enjoy!

**Chapter Sixteen - Our Secret**

"That's it, Peter! You're doing it! That was great," James praised Peter as the small boy finally managed having all his coarse fur on evenly. Though it was still a long way away from full Animagus transformation, for Peter it was immense success.

"Can we start working on _our_ transformation yet?" Sirius whined, having lounged about in boredom as he watched James patiently instruct Peter. He did not bother to mask his boredom, for he yawned greatly in order to emphasize his point.

James nodded, rolling his eyes as though to say that patience had never harmed anyone. That, or to tell Sirius that he really thought him immature.

Remus was sitting in the corner of their secret room on the night after their first detention for the year. While only fleetingly paying attention to what his friends were doing, he used a few handy spells to affix the sixth floor's meticulous drawing into the general layout of the Map and then wiped it blank to start working on the seventh floor. Starting this complex work, he completely tuned himself out, ignoring the various noises coming from the other side of the room where his friends were turning into bits and pieces of animals. They will call him if they need him.

Soon, however, he found his mind wandering away from his careful work. True, it was still Map-related, but it distracted him from what he was trying to do. What was distracting him was the blank space that was left over the drawing of the Map. It just begged to have something there, some kind of legend - a title. But what could he write there that would fit the spirit of the Map? James had mentioned it before - that it needed signing, but in what context?

_"…Wouldn't it be nice if we… sort of… all have… nicknames? Like Moony's? It'd be great wouldn't it? We could… sign our names on notes and no one will know it's us! We can be a secret society kind of thing…"_ Peter's voice niggled at his memory. It was something that was said the year before.

_"…We need to sign on our map, anyway, to claim it as our own, now that it's almost complete and all. How about… Moony, Rodent, Fluffy and Antler-Boy…"_

That was it! That was what James had suggested. Signing the Map with nicknames. But so far only he himself had one. A smile spread unconsciously on his lips. That would be his mission today. To come up with suitable nicknames for his friends.

But what to call them? His own nickname was a spur-of-the-moment thing made by James whose strange train of thoughts led him to use it. It portrayed his nature, made it clear to him that James at least would accept him no matter what, but what would the others like to be called?

Then, as he glanced at the practicing James and Sirius, it came to him, clicking in his mind perfectly into place. Their Animagi forms, while still not perfected, mirrored their true character, and so, just as Moony mirrored his, their nicknames would be based on those forms.

Peter's was easiest. Though his form was least distinct, there was one prominent feature which constantly appeared in the later months of fourth year.

_"…Merlin, Peter! You've got a worm stuck up your arse…"_

Worm-arse. Sirius had called him that for weeks later, bursting into laughter whenever he looked at Peter. It had rankled Peter obviously, but the smaller boy said nothing about it. It would only have led to more laughter. But then, it did give Remus the inspiration for an official Marauder name for Peter.

_Wormtail_.

Next in line was Sirius. Obviously some sort of canine form, he needed something that characterized him best.

Slobbery?

No. He would not like it - despite the fact that the boy had the tendency to drool while asleep and that dogs tended to slobber.

Ripper?

Remus almost snorted at the idea.

Shaggy?

Rex?

Fang?

No, no and no.

This was just not going anywhere.

_"…get your filthy paws _off_ of me, you pervert!"_

Remus almost sniggered as Keira's voice floated suddenly through his mind. He could not remember why she had said it, but then his eyes widened as he remembered what James had said to Sirius afterwards, in quite an angry tone.

_"…would you stop acting like a footpad and stealing touches at my cousin? It's really disturbing, Sirius…"_

Footpad.

In his mind, the two syllables rotated around each other and switched places.

Sirius was some sort of canine form. Canines of all sorts had padded feet, and from the semi-transformations Sirius had managed to go through up until then, Remus could always see those feet. Silent, padded feet, like those of a footpad.

Padfoot.

Remus grinned. It was perfect.

But what about James?

A feeling of something trickling on his hand distracted him from his thoughts.

His quill was leaking again. _Damn,_ he thought, irritably wiping it on a spare piece of parchment. _Just when I thought I had it fixed_.

Naturally, he did not _have_ to fix his old, shabby quill over and over again - he could just go down to Hogsmeade in the next Hogsmeade weekend (or on a Not-Hogsmeade-Weekend day, for that matter) and buy a new one for a Sickle, but (as he had explained repeatedly to his friends) he was emotionally attached to _that_ specific quill, and until it entirely disintegrated on him, he had no intention of replacing it.

It was the last thing his grandfather had given him - before the bite.

He still despised the old man, despite the fact that he was wasting away in St Mungo's, his death inevitable. It was one of his defence mechanisms, painstakingly developed over the years. If he did not care for someone - what did it matter if that person hated him if he hated him back? It was a very efficient method, and had gotten him through the worst of his grandfather's rants. But sometimes, more often than not, he reluctantly had to admit, that resolution worked fine - until the time he had had to actually face the old man. That was, of course, no longer an issue as he had sworn he would never come visit him again until the day his grandfather died, but the mechanism remained.

"Bloody _hell_!" Sirius' voice startled him out of his reverie. He mentally kicked himself for letting that happen to often lately, and disgustedly wiped his stained hands on the aforementioned parchment. Forcing his thoughts away from his leaking quill and his abominable grandfather he glanced at his friends, wondering what could have gone wrong _this_ time.

His mouth fell open.

In the center of room, its antlers scraping the low ceiling, stood a huge, chestnut-coloured stag. One of its front hooves was pawing the floor gently, its head bowed. It was so magnificent, and so out of place, that Remus sharply drew breath, his eyes wide. Then, without warning, the majestic head rose, and Remus' eyes met with its big hazel ones.

James' eyes.

"_Prongs_," Remus whispered, not realizing he had named his friend.

The stag seemed to consider the name, nodded once, cocked his head to one side in an uncannily James-like gesture, and soon after blurred unexpectedly. It seemed almost as though it was flowing in and out of shape in a mix of colours that made Remus' eyes water. And just as sudden as it happened, James Potter was again standing in front of them, his eyes round and bright with awe.

"I did it," he whispered so quietly in disbelief that even Remus' sharpened hearing had trouble picking it up. "_I did it_."

The other three were just as shocked as him, if not more so. For a while they all sat there in silence, gaping at their marveling friend who was still checking himself over to see if everything was in the right shape. Sirius was the first to regain control of his lower jaw. He closed his mouth, though his eyes were still awed. Then he said "Wow. James - that was - that was - that was _fantastic_."

Peter nodded in agreement, still unable to close his mouth. It somehow occurred to Remus that somewhere in the recesses of their minds, the three doubted that they would ever succeed in their self-appointed mission.

He himself was on the brink of tears, not knowing what to say. They did it for _him_. His best friends attempted to accomplish one of the toughest feats magic had to offer. And here was James, standing in front of him - and he did it. He really did it.

"This calls for a celebration!" Sirius hollered, making them all jump. "To Hogsmeade!"

Remus did not even object, shocked as he was. The Marauders covered themselves with James' cloak and snuck into one of the passages they used less frequently, which led into the village. They emerged just outside the Three Broomsticks and went inside.

Remus did not remember much of that night.

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The first word coming out of Remus' dry mouth late the next morning was "Argh." Though admittedly that was not a very articulate word, it was far better than what Sirius had said, which was nothing at all. The long-limbed boy was sprawled eagle-spread on his bed, and was snoring very loudly, a small puddle of drool near the corner of his mouth.

It was a weird feeling to awake like that. It was the very first (and last, if he could avoid it, but morosely surmised that the likelihood of that happening was slim) time Remus had gotten drunk. No matter how much he forced his aching head, he could not remember what he had drank, or how they had convinced Madam Rosmerta to _let_ them drink it in the first place, but he knew with utmost certainty, that the headache he was now sporting was _not_ worth it.

It was like looking at the world through a slightly curved window - and a dirty window at that. He could not focus his eyes satisfactorily and everything seemed blurred and out of perspective.

He also felt very lightheaded - but had a massive headache.

_Isn't that a contradiction in terms?_ the part of his brain which had warned him repeatedly the night before against drinking too much asked.

Remus decided it sounded far too smug. _D'you have to use such big words so early in the morning?_

His brain did a good imitation of a gleeful grin. _Oh, Remus, Remus, Remus… Contradiction is no big word. Try geriatrics, lycanthropy, marsupial, regularization, tabernacle… _those_ are big words._

He growled in frustration. _Look, I feel like something that had been dragged through the sewer, minced and then dumped on someone's doorstep - please don't make it worse for me._

_Oh, but you're so fun when you're feeling rotten! You get to argue with yourself! Isn't that great!_ His brain was practically jumping with joy.

Remus grabbed his pillow and tried smotheringhis talkative brain.

_This is not going to work, you know. All you'll achieve is losing consciousness for a while, _his brain continued. _Or cause yourself clinical death. Neither option is very appealing, now is it?_

_Why don't you just sod off?_ he demanded.

_Trust me. If I could - I would. I'm suffering just as much as you do - and I'm the one who warned you against drinking that thing Sirius mixed. I mean, what's the big deal? So, yes, James managed to do something a lot of grown wizards can't and - oh, wait. It _is_ a big deal, isn't it?_

_Yes,_ Remus gritted._ It is. Now will you please shut up? I'm trying to die here._

_No can do. See, the body has this defence mechanism - it doesn't _want_ to die. So, yes, you'll feel rotten for a while - taking us all with you - but that's life. _

There was silence for a while. Remus allowed himself to breath freely again.

_You _are_ aware of the fact that you're late for Transfiguration, aren't you?_

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McGonagall landed them another detention for not coming to class. She got hold of them at lunch that day, and with one of the most displeased scowls she had ever given them, informed them that they would serve detention with her sometimes that week, but if their _schedule_ for the week was already full, then it may be moved to the week after. She had no idea _why_ they were not there, and they all hoped that she never would have, but Minerva McGonagall was not one to let it pass quietly. Especially when there were Marauders involved. She was on edge all day long, expecting a prank to spring on unsuspecting students, teachers, ghosts or suits of armour.

Nothing came, naturally, and if Remus would not have been suffering from a splitting headache, he probably would have found that very amusing.

As if to make things worse, there was a Prefect meeting that night, and he had to face a very disapproving Lily Evans. Doing so was a bad idea at best of times, but with an aching head it was much less enjoyable. He was seriously considering not coming to the meeting that evening with the pretense of having a migraine. His sense of duty won out in the end, and he trudged to the meeting anyway.

"Where were the four of you during Transfiguration?" Lily demanded the moment he dragged himself (and it took a lot of force of will to do so) into the Prefects' Office.

He gave her a shrug, hoping she will leave it at that. His head was absolutely killing him, and all he wanted was for the meeting to end as quickly as possible so he could just go to the dormitory and fall asleep or preferably die. Of course, since it was Lily he was thinking of, that was only wishful thinking.

"You - are - a - _Prefect_!" she whispered vehemently, poking a hard finger repeatedly into his chest, punctuating each word. "You're supposed to set an example to those who are not!"

He had no doubt who those _others_ were. He shrugged again, barely locking his mouth over a moan of pain. His head was _pounding_.

"You are not getting out of this just by shrugging, Lupin! I _know_ the four of you went out drinking! Keira and I saw you when you came back and you were _pissed_!"

"What were you and Keira doing awake at the time we came back?" he challenged, his brain deciding to cooperate with him again and give sharp retorts when it was time for them. He inwardly smiled in triumph, wordlessly thanking that part of him.

_Is she… blushing?_ he wondered, his eyes widening.

Yes. Lily Evans was certainly blushing.

"So… what _were_ you doing?"

"None of your business!" she snapped, her cheeks burning red. "You're lucky I didn't report you to McGonagall! Drunk! Completely pissed! Entirely-"

"Then why didn't you?" he asked bluntly, his headache making him short with her.

She stopped at mid-scold and stared at him. "What?"

"Why _didn't_ you tell Minnie? After all, it's _you_ who's going on and on about setting an example."

He did not tell her that, but he was not teasing her. He was genuinely interested in knowing why the two girls, who both claimed to hate James with a passion and did not harbour any more positive feelings for the rest of them, did not go straight to McGonagall to tell her they were out of the common room so late at night, and drinking at that. Unfortunately for him, Malcolm and Silvia chose that moment to start the meeting, and Evans was saved from answering.

The meeting was long and tedious as always, but Remus made great show of listening and agreeing for Lily's benefit, though whether it was meant to tease her or to actually and truly show her that he could do his job properly, even Remus could not say. The minute the meeting was over, Lily stormed out of the office, not looking behind and not waiting for him to go with her to the Tower as she had done out of politeness in previous meetings. Remus felt like smirking. Then, however, he froze.

What was happening to him? He never enjoyed teasing people, and here he was, doing a very good impression of James and Sirius at their best. Hastily attributing it to his splitting headache, he hurried after the disappearing back of Lily, and to the Tower. He would discuss it later with his friends.

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During the next week, they met almost every evening (excepting the night of the full moon and the one after it) and practiced the Transformations for hours on end. It was a long, difficult job, and the participants were all sweaty and exhausted by the end of every night's work, which was usually long after midnight. That is to say, the participants who practiced were Sirius and Peter, while James helped them as much as he could without losing his patience, and Remus sat quietly to the side and went on working on the map.

He was finally done with the last floor and picked up his quill from the parchment when a wet nose touched his bare arm. He almost jumped out of his chair from shock, whirling around to see what it was.

Next to him sat a huge, shaggy, black dog. He turned again to face a smirking James who was standing with his arms crossed in satisfaction and a broadly grinning Peter who then started clapping.

"A Grim, Sirius?" he finally asked the dog. "Isn't that a bit presumptuous?"

The dog slid out of shape and turned back into a beaming Sirius. "You're wasting these words on me, Moony. They're too big for my small brain."

Remus snorted. Sirius' brain was anything but small. He just chose to pretend to be a fool for the benefit of others. Mainly he just did it to annoy his obnoxious relatives. Remus could not blame him.

"And anyway," the boy continued "Maybe I could frighten dear ol' Reggie. He'll think he saw a Grim and die on the spot! Or wet himself. Either option is appealing to me right now."

"You're disgusting, Sirius," James said from behind. "Why do _we_ have to suffer the smells of _his_ cowardice?"

Sirius shrugged, not answering, but Remus could tell that for the joy of humiliating and scaring his little brother, he was prepared to pay that small price.

It did not take long for Sirius to make good of his idea.

Soon after he had first managed to control his transformation, the Marauders bumped into their least favourite group of Slytherins, containing within it both Regulus and Snape. Thankfully enough, Sirius' older cousin, Narcissa, had finished her Hogwarts schooling the year before, and therefore there was one person less to torment the poor boy and remind him what a failure he was in the eyes of his family. _Unfortunately_, it only made Regulus more determined to ruin not only Sirius' home life, but his school life as well.

On that particular day, Remus and Peter were tagging along for Sirius and James' Quidditch practice. The new Captain had surprised all those who had doubted his abilities and his commitment to the position by taking it very seriously. He conducted orderly practices, three times a week now that he an entire team assembled following the Try Outs. He was unforgiving if a player was late for practice or if anyone slacked off. He would not have it, he made sure everyone knew it and acted accordingly.

Even Keira grudgingly admitted that McGonagall had made the right decision. She made sure to make that comment out of her cousin's hearing range, however. It would only do to make his head bigger as she told Lily, who had sniffed in agreement.

The four were halfway to the Quidditch pitch when a red beam flashed to one side of Sirius' face, missing his cheek by a fraction of an inch. The four boys whirled around immediately, wands drawn. Only that specific group of Slytherins would attack the Marauders when their backs were turned, and so they had not doubt who they would be facing when they would turn.

"Hello, big brother," Regulus said with a shark's grin on his handsome features - so like Sirius' own and yet so different. "It has been a while, hasn't it?"

"All for the better," Sirius grounded. Remus could see that he was fighting the urge to start hexing his brother without warning as his instincts seemed to tell him.

"Aww… is wittle Siwi trying to be all _noble_ and refuse to show his Black colours - or are there any Black colours _left_ in your traitor blood?" Regulus taunted, pressing the spot that had been the sorest for Sirius ever since his first year at Hogwarts - his alienation from his family.

"If all you can do is spout empty insults, Regulus, then I suggest you leave us be," James said calmly, putting his hand on Sirius' shaking shoulder, his wand still pointed warily at the Slytherins. His eyes, however, burned almost golden and were narrowed dangerously. He would not hesitate going after Regulus if the younger boy would continue hurting Sirius, Remus knew that all too well. James did not hold with people insulting his family.

"Oh, but we can do so much _more_, Potter," Regulus sneered at James as though the other boy was a lowly flubberworm not worth his time. "We have such a wide selection of what we _could_ do to my dear brother and the lot of you."

"I'd like to see you _try_," Sirius growled menacingly.

"Would you now?"

"Sirius - _duck_!" Remus had just enough time to shout before a purple beam of light sped his friend's way.

Sirius did not hesitate. He ducked out of the way and rolled to the side, getting back to his feet in lightning speed, his wand trained again on his brother and his smirking cronies.

"Dark magic now, Regulus? Just how low did you _sink_?"

"Just how low did _you_?"

The two brothers started circling one another threateningly.

"Your friend is going to be beaten so badly, Potter," Snape opened his mouth for the first time, his smirk wide with satisfaction.

James' face turned red with anger. "Watch what you are saying, Snivellus," he gritted, tightening his grip on his wand.

Snape was on him in seconds. He hated the nickname given to him by the Marauders with a passion.

Remus and Peter watched the exchange for a second, and, noting how the rest of the Slytherins were inching their way to assist their two comrades, sighed and joined the fray.

For the first time since he got the position of Captain, James Potter missed a Quidditch practice.

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"I am going to get back at that worthless excuse for a human being for this!" Sirius growled for the umpteenth time since the beginning of their latest detention. The Slytherins somehow managed to get out of the incidence with nothing but a few points deducted. They had convinced Professor McGonagall that it had all been the Marauders' fault. It was not a hard thing to do since the professor was still sore about that missed transfiguration lesson.

"Don't do anything foolish, Sirius," Remus said tiredly, brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes. "We're in enough trouble as it is."

"Oh, but who said it would be _me_ that would frighten the little bastard into soiling himself?"

Remus did not like the strange glint in Sirius' eyes, nor did he like the niggling suspicion that they had only recently discussed Regulus soiling himself by some sort of unorthodox measure.

"Trust me, Moony. _No one_ is going to know that I'm responsible."

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The next day Sirius was suspiciously absent before dinner. The Slytherins had Quidditch practice in the pitch before it and he said that he was going to spy on them for a while, see what the Gryffindor team would have to contend with when the first match came round. Remus should have known better than to believe him.

Ten minutes into dinner, Regulus Black came running at top speed into the Hall, his eyes wild and his hair all over the place. He kept glancing behind him, terror etched on every feature.

"I saw a Grim!" the younger boy said urgently to someone at the Slytherin table, his voice reaching Remus' sharpened ears. "What should I do? What should I _do_?"

"A Grim?" the boy he was talking to sounded strained. "Regulus, you had better watch out for yourself! My grandmother saw a Grim - she told my uncle who told her to forget about it - and the next day she was dead!"

"What am I going to do?" Regulus moaned.

"Go the dungeons _immediately_," a seventh year said worriedly. "I'll go speak to Professor Slughorn and we will see what has to be done. Don't do anything dangerous - go straight to your dorm!"

Regulus obeyed, his fear evident as he kept glancing behind his shoulder every other step, shivering violently.

"Did you hear that?" Remus asked James.

"About the 'Grim'?" James asked, a smile tugging at his lips.

"No, about the tooth fairy," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "Of _course_ about the Grim! What do you think about that?"

"I think that Sirius would be insufferable for the next couple of weeks. Look, he's already starting."

And indeed, as Remus picked up his glance and looked in the direction of the doors as James had pointed, he could see Sirius sauntering into the Great Hall with a wide smirk to match a Slytherin's on his face.

"Good evening, chaps," he said as he sat down beside James. "Fine evening today, isn't it?"

Remus could do nothing but roll his eyes. Sometimes Sirius was so childish.

Regulus did not dare leaving the castle on his own for the next few weeks.

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It was well after the second full moon of the year when James and Sirius finally managed to help Peter complete his Transformation, but with their combined efforts, he managed it.

"You're a _rat_, Peter," Sirius said accusingly, as though he did not expect it. "What use it a rat to us?"

"We discussed it before, Sirius," James said tiredly, rubbing his temples. It had been a long day. "He's going to press the Whomping Willow's knot and let us into the tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack."

Peter seemed relieved that James did not mind his being such a small, insignificant animal. He was rather cheery after James' words.

Wanting to distract the others from the matter - especially Sirius - Remus coughed lightly to catch their attention.

"What is it, Moony?" James asked curiously, relieved that he had help in the _Stop Sirius from Mocking Peter_ front.

"Well, it's just that I've finished the Map, and I wanted to show you something before we call it complete," he said, holding the parchment behind his back.

"Oh?" Sirius said, genuinely interested.

"Here."

The other three craned their necks to be able to see what he was showing them properly.

Across the top of the completed seventh floor drawing, in great, curly green words that had taken him days to write just the way he wanted them, was written:

_Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs_

_Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers_

_are proud to present_

_THE MARAUDER'S MAP_

**Well - how was that for the first time they transform? Did you like it? Hate it? Any comments you would like to make? ;)**

**What will we have in the next chapter? The first full moon? Yes! Sirius being evil? Yes! James turning tomato red? Yes! Lily puzzled? That too, and much more! So stay tuned for Chapter Seventeen - Secrets and Lies!**

**See you all there and thank you to all those who reviewed!**

**-Star of the North**


	17. Secrets and Lies

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Ahhhhh… it has been a while, hasn't it? Again, I am sorry for this, but life is not quite as easy as it had been a few months ago - what with my job and everything. I hope that you will enjoy this chapter that you have been waiting for for so long and that you will tell me what you think!

Thank you very much for all those who had reviewed!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Seventeen - Secrets and Lies**

"Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers?" James said in amusement after a moment had passed from the unveiling of the complete Map. "I like that."

"I thought you might," Remus smirked lightly.

"But-" James began again, making the werewolf glance sharply in his direction, "I don't quite think we can call it complete just yet."

"Why's that?" he asked rather defensively, his hold on the parchment tightening ever-so-slightly. This was his work of art - his greatest achievement to date. James could not simply dismiss it as missing something. Somewhere in the back of his throat a growl formed. His friend had better have a _very_ good reason for saying that.

James, quickly noting the change in Remus, shook his head slightly with an apologetic grin. "No offense meant, Moony," he assured his friend. "The Map's perfect as it is, but there are a couple… _safety measures_ we need to take before we can dub it complete and untouchable."

"Oh?" Remus asked suspiciously, not ready to give in.

"For one, we need to protect it. It would be a shame to have worked on it for so long only to have it taken from us because of carelessness we all know we are prone to be victims of occasionally."

Grudgingly, Remus had to agree with that particular insight. More than once during their four previous years at Hogwarts they had been caught by suspecting teachers, asked to empty their pockets and searched thoroughly for prank items. Of course James had the right to be careful. "And for another?"

"Well, I must admit that my next suggestion is not strictly for security measures," James grinned sheepishly. "It is for amusement measures, mostly - yet connected to the first part. Do you want to hear what I have to say, or do you still consider tearing me apart because I insulted your baby?"

Grumbling, Remus gestured for him to continue, still clutching the Map out of reach of the shorter boy.

Seeing the path was clear, James smiled and explained his idea. "What I have in mind, Remus, is a modification of the charm you used for wiping each drawing of each floor clear after incorporating it into the parchment. Only this time it will be used for the entire Map and would only be removed by use of a password that only the four of us will know."

"I'm listening," Remus said, his interest piqued.

"I thought over it for a while now, and the way I see it, the best way of doing said modification is by altering the wand movement. The incantation should stay the same, but the wand movement… has to be changed."

Remus nodded, knowing the truth of his friend's words. "And the second idea?"

"Just a little precaution in case someone suspects the true measure of the Map," James grin widely now. "I just thought we could charm it to insult everyone who tries opening it with the wrong password more than three or so times - and personalize the insults by identifying wand-signature."

"We can actually _do_ that?" Sirius asked, frowning. "It's a rather complicated business, don't you think?"

"Sirius," James said, staring at his best friend with some incredulity. "We just accomplished one of the Wizarding World's greatest challenges - and you're worried about a little charm?"

"Fine, fine," Sirius hastily said. "But if we're at it, and Moony here is already a little mellowed, then _I'd_ like to offer something as well."

Remus groaned. For some reason it seemed as though his Map, whether he saw it as complete or not, would go through major changes that night.

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"It has to be something to do with us being the Marauders."

"Oh, _really_?"

"No need being sarcastic, you mangy dog."

"I think that you would find it very much in need, you moth-eaten coat-rack."

"Why, you-"

A crash.

A sigh. "I think we all agree that James has the right idea - be it obvious or not. Now, please get off of him before you choke the life out of him, Sirius."

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"Open sesame?"

"Ye Gods - where did you bring _that_ from?"

A mumble.

"What was that?"

"He said it was from a Muggle story."

"That's the most idiotic spell I have ever heard of!"

"I don't really think that the Muggles see it as a spell."

"Well, it's idiotic all the same!"

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"'Marauder is what a Marauder does'?"

"Possible, but not quite it, I think."

"Let's see _you_ come up with a better idea!"

"Of _course_ I can come up with a better idea."

A roar of rage.

A sigh. "I _do_ think this is getting out of hand. Don't you, Peter?"

"Quite so."

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Sounds of a violent scuffle.

"They never _will_ grow up, will they, Peter?"

"It would be a very sad day when they will… they would not be themselves if they wouldn't be up to no good."

Pause of sounds.

"What was that, Peter?"

"Yeah, what _was_ that that you just said?"

"Huh? Um… I said that if you wouldn't be-"

"Up to no good."

"I like that - don't you, Sirius?"

"I like that very much, James."

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"I will always be up to no good?"

"No."

"I am up to no good?"

"No."

"We want to be up to no good?"

"Definitely not."

"I swear, Moony - if you won't stop disagreeing with every suggestion we - what?"

"How about… 'I swear I am up to no good'?"

"Not quite right…

"Now _you're_ canceling what _I_ say!"

"Calm down, Moony. All I was going to say was, how about '_I_ _solemnly swear that I am up to no good_'? It has a nicer ring to it, I think."

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Several hours and several modifications later, the Marauders finally declared their Map complete. It took a long time and caused many arguments and minor (and less than minor) scuffles - mainly between Sirius and James - but finally they were agreed.

Not only did they find a password to open the Map, they also came up with the very much appropriate _Mischief Managed_ as the password to lock it, and they also incorporated two extra things into it.

The first was James' delightful idea that the Map would insult anyone who tried unlocking it three times without success. They all wrote various insults on a piece of parchment, each showing their style and the way they thought, and then, with a clever charm Remus had read about in the library a long time ago about teaching inanimate objects, they taught the Map to spout insults in the same styles any time it was in need of it.

Sirius almost tore it in half when he tested it and it declared, in his own handwriting, that he was a whiny git and also added what he should do with himself for it.

It was quite effective.

The second idea was the one Sirius came up with, and in hindsight, Remus had to agree it was brilliant. What was a professional prankster if he could not ever escape the ones he did not want to catch him?

They spelled the Map to show each and every person in the castle - in motion. They could always know now where Filch was, or the professors, or any single person they wanted to either find or avoid.

Admiring their handiwork, now finally dubbed complete, the Marauders grinned at each other. They were now unstoppable.

"Mr. Wormtail would like to offer something," Peter suddenly said, catching them all by surprise and making them give him strange looks. They only agreed to use that sort of speech when the Map was spouting its insults, and that was because no one was supposed to know who the insulters were.

"Mr. Prongs would like to know what Mr. Wormtail's suggestion is," James said, playing the game despite its weirdness.

"Mr. Moony concurs with Mr. Prongs and would also like to hear what Mr. Wormtail has to say," Remus agreed, feeling a grin spreading on his face.

They all looked at Sirius, who sighed in semi-annoyance and said "Mr. Padfoot would like you all to know how stupid he feels all this business with talking in third person, but would also very much like to hear whatever it is Mr. Wormtail feels he needs to share."

They all beamed at him. Peter took a deep breath

"I know we said we need a bit of practice after we finally manage all transforming, but how about we already join Moony on the next full moon?"

There was silence in the room.

"Are… are you _sure_, Peter?" James said with a light tremor in his voice.

"Well… yeah," the other boy said. "Why not?"

"We don't have enough practice for one," James replied, ticking off his fingers. "And we really have no way of knowing if we won't transform back to human without enough practice, and that could be dangerous."

"Yes, but you managed it a while ago and so has Sirius. I can do my transforming in the dorm - no one would hear a thing. It's still two weeks 'til the full moon - we can do it."

There was an almost pleading note in the boy's voice.

The others exchanged looks. After a few more moments, a decision had been made.

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The full moon shone, but for the life of it, the werewolf did not care. It had never felt as carefree as it did now. Never did it feel so much in control over the bloodlust that had normally flooded its veins from the moment the full moon rose to the moment it set. It was a feeling of complete liberation. It was not lonely anymore.

It had been very much surprised - and defensive - when its snout had picked up the smell of three others. But while it had made itself ready to attack in the case of their being something edible, it had registered that they did not smell remotely appetizing. They were not human.

Curious, it had loped down the stairs, coming into a screeching halt as its nails had dug into the wood of the floor. Warily, it had circled around the newcomers, unsure what they were and if they were a danger to it.

That was when the other canine had walked towards it and rolled over in the most unthreatening of ways.

Even more curious than before, the werewolf had decided to check it and had sniffed at the black dog, determining it was not threat.

_Padfoot…_

The werewolf had no idea where that thought had come from, but as it had raised its head to look at the other two, the voice had returned with force.

_Wormtail and Prongs…_

Seconds later the two canines had been locked in a friendly fight.

That was how the werewolf found itself feeling so happy and liberated, running around the house and causing to it even more damage than usual in its games with its new pack mates.

It was easiest to play with the dog, naturally, it being the proper size for a good wrestle, but whenever it wanted things rougher, it turned to the stag, who good-naturedly allowed attempting catching it off guard. It was rough, and both sustained scratches and bruises, but they all seemed to enjoy it.

As for the rat - it was quite fun chasing it about the room - sometimes helped by the dog.

It was an extremely fun night for the werewolf.

It was the most exhilarating moment in Remus' life, trapped within the wolf, feeling a little control returning to his mind.

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"I must say I'm surprised, Remus," Madam Pomfrey said, frowning as she gave Remus his first checkup after awaking from his rest.

"Oh?"

"You have very… unusual abrasions this time. None of the usual bites on legs and arms - none of the scratches I am used to find. Not that I'm opposed to this change - but it _is_ strange. It looks as though the most you did was chew yourself a bit, and without the usual ferocity either. I wonder…"

Remus fought hard to quench the worried expression that wanted to surface on his face.

"I wonder… were you feeling more in control than usual, Remus?"

Schooling his features, he slowly nodded. "A little. It was as though something in my mind cleared up and I could somewhat control the reactions of the wolf." He assumed it would be safe enough to say that, since it was true.

"That's very encouraging," she said, smiling. "I think I should contact Professor Dumbledore about this development."

Before Remus could protest, she already left for her office.

Seconds later there was a whooshing sound, and his three friends appeared out of thin air, James' invisibility cloak in his hands. They all wore worried expressions on their faces.

"This is _not_ good," Peter said, summing up what they all felt in that single sentence.

In the end, though Dumbledore was definitely curious as for the cause of Remus' apparent lucidity during his latest transformation, he left it be, his eyes twinkling, only telling Madam Pomfrey to inform him if things continued that way.

While the four boys could not quite breathe freely again, they certainly hoped that it meant their secret was safe.

For the time being.

And so the weeks passed. There were more pranks played on unsuspecting - and not-so-unsuspecting - victims at random times, Gryffindor narrowly won the first match of the year against Slytherin (though James had spent a few good hours in the Hospital Wing, having been whacked on the head with a Slytherin's Beater's bat) and the Marauders continued losing and earning points as was their wont.

It was only about a week and a half before Christmas - a few days before the full moon - that there was news on a certain front that had not been confronted in a while.

There was news on the Lily Front.

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"What's that you're doodling there, Prongs?" Sirius asked that Sunday morning as he returned to the dorm from what Remus assumed to be a very heated snogging session as his clothes were ruffled and his eyes were bright.

James, who was lying on his stomach on top of his comforter, absent-mindedly drawing in the notebook he had hidden underneath his mattress, away from reach of the sometimes prying Keira, jumped away from the source of the question and closed the notebook with a snap.

This, in retrospective, was not the smartest thing to do where Sirius was concerned.

A predatory grin appearing on his lips, and he walked slowly towards his best friend. "Now, now, Prongsie," he said in a silky voice. "You never hid anything from me until now… what has become so different? Don't you trust me anymore?"

Tightening his grasp on the notebook, James pulled back as far as he could from the advancing Sirius. In fact, he pulled so far back that he fell from the other side of the bed and hit the floor with a heavy thud. Sirius took that opportunity and, leaping over the formerly occupied bed, launched himself at James.

Remus, sitting on his own bed with his legs spread in front of him, a book in his hands, sighed as he continued reading, hearing the sounds of yet another scuffle in the background.

"Ah-ha!" Sirius' triumphant cry caught the werewolf's attention and made him look up from his book. The tall boy had managed snagging the notebook out of James' grasp and was not pinning his friend's arms to his sides, aided by his knees as he was sitting on the smaller boy's stomach, making him unable to try and take back his property.

"Give that _back_, Padfoot!" James growled, wriggling to get Sirius off of him.

"No, I don't think so," Sirius said gleefully and opened the notebook, leafing through the pages. As he continued going through it, his eyes became brighter and brighter and his grin became more evil. "Aww…" he finally said. "Does the wittle pwongsie have a cwush on someone? The lovely Lady Lily, perhaps?"

"No!" James cried, renewing his efforts to get his notebook back.

"Moony!" Sirius called. "Have a look!" And then he tossed Remus the notebook, which fell on the bed, opening right at the middle, where a sketch of a certain redheaded young lady appeared, done in blacks and browns, with only a bit of red and green for hair and eyes. There was no doubt as to who that girl was. James was a talented artist, and he had depicted Lily Evans perfectly.

"That's beautiful, Prongs," he said, truly meaning it.

With a grunt, James pushed Sirius off and got up. He then walked to Remus and snatched the notebook away, grumbling about idiotic, treacherous friends. He then tucked the notebook safely under his arm and left the dorm, still muttering to himself.

"Padfoot, I don't like this look on your face," Remus said, staring suspiciously at Sirius, whose eyes were fixed on James' retreating back, glinting madly. "What are you up to?"

"Who, me?" Sirius said with an innocent expression that fooled no one who knew the boy, least of all Remus, who had seen him pull that face so many times in the past. He was better than James in that aspect, but while people sometimes believed James, no one bought it from Sirius. Not anymore

"Yes, you. What are you up to?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing," Sirius waved his suspicions away with a bright smile. "Just my dastardly good deed for the year 1975, my dear Moony. It is really for a good cause, so you have nothing to worry about."

And then, ducking any further investigations, he walked away, humming happily to himself. A humming Sirius usually meant that whatever he had in mind would end in catastrophe. Remus was determined to keep an eye on his friend, and keep on the lookout for James' sake.

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Christmas morning was the same as always in the fifth year dorm when all four boys were there. This year James' parents went with Keira's parents to Italy for the holidays, leaving the two grudging cousins at school. Remus always stayed, taking into account the fact that were he to go back, the next full moon would be harder than ever. Sirius did not want to go home, and Peter decided to stay with the lot of them just for fun.

Remus woke up early, but apparently not early enough, because his two, extremely immature friends were already up, bouncing impatiently on their beds, waiting for him to wake up. The moment they saw him open his curtains, they hurried to Peter's bed and dragged the poor boy out, kicking and screaming to be left alone.

After present opening, which was as fun as always (unless you count Sirius' card exploding in Remus' face, showering him with green and red confetti), they hurried to the Great Hall for breakfast, stuffing themselves full of the good food of Hogwarts.

It was only then, when they returned to the common room after an impromptu Quidditch match in the shrieking gale that had been attacking the castle walls since morning - and on school broomsticks, no less - that Remus - and the rest of them - realized what Sirius' 'dastardly good deed' was.

"-so romantic!" Remus heard Haley exclaiming as they entered through the portrait hole.

"I wonder who could be this wonderfully talented _and_ like you that much," Keira gushed in a very uncharacteristically girly tone.

Curious, the boys made their way for the three girls who had stayed for the holidays. They were all leaning over a piece of parchment that was sitting on the table between them. From where he was standing, Remus could see it had been torn out of a notebook or something similar.

"What's that you're gawking at?" James asked the moment he stopped beside them.

"Not that it's any of your business, _cousin_," Keira said in her normal snide voice whenever addressing James, "but Lily has a secret admirer who had sent her the most gorgeous thing, and we've been trying to think who it might be."

"So Evans finally found someone interested enough in her?" James asked unpleasantly, and Remus thought he could detect a hint of jealousy in his friend's voice. "What did he get her? Frogspawn - or perhaps kindling for the expert fire-breather?"

"_Actually_," Lily huffed indignantly," he sent me a drawing. Take a look if you don't believe me!" Angrily, she thrust the parchment into his hands, a superior expression on her face.

It was a normal piece of parchment as far as he could tell, but as Remus watched James, he saw his friend's face paling considerably, and a sick expression taking over his handsome features.

"Told you," Lily said smugly, apparently taking his expression as disbelief that she had an admirer.

Looking about ready to throw up, James handed her the parchment back. In that short instance, as the face of the drawing was revealed, Remus soon realized why James looked so distraught at a mere drawing. Remus recognized the clean style of the drawing, but more significantly, he also recognized the drawing itself. It was the one Sirius was teasing James about the other day.

…_Just my dastardly good deed for the year 1975…_

Sirius' words echoed in his head, causing him to look sharply at his friend, only to find him grinning widely. Following the direction of Remus' gaze, James caught sight of his best friend's smirk, and his sick pallor turned into the very mask of fury. He waited until they were far enough from the girls to quietly say in a deadly tone "I think that Padfoot and I are going to have a little _chat_. Aren't we, Padfoot?"

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Over the following week James refused to speak to Sirius. After a blazing row, where James did a lot of shouting and Sirius did a lot of squirming and apologizing, James now took a line of action that included completely ignoring Sirius. Remus, as always watching from the sidelines, could see how much it hurt Sirius. Even if James did not quite realize how much he meant for the tall, black-haired boy, Remus did. He knew that Sirius could not last much longer without James' companionship.

As it were, however, the Marauders split, with Peter and Remus taking turns in keeping the two company. On the New Year's Eve, however, Remus had had enough, and decided to sit by himself for a while, letting the two combatants to sort it out - after locking them in the dorm together. As he entered the common room, however, he found the girls talking heatedly by the fireplace. He made a decision.

"Hello," he said. "May I sit with you?"

"Why aren't you shadowing my cousin as usual?" Keira asked rudely, but then was kicked by Lily.

"Of course you can join us, Remus," Lily said pleasantly. She apparently decided that this Christmas she would be polite to him as they had agreed before the holidays began. He found that rather disconcerting.

"As for your question, Keira," he said politely as he took a seat next to Haley, "James and Sirius have had a fight a few days ago and they are very cranky at the moment, so I've decided to leave them alone for a while, let them sort it out on their own. I do believe they are hitting one another black and blue at this very moment, so they'll be fine with one another in another hour or so - when I decide to unlock the dorm's door. What's the intense discussion about, if you don't mind me asking?"

"We've been trying to discover who Lily's secret admirer is," Haley explained shyly. Even after four and something years she still found it hard to address one of the boys directly. "He left no fingerprints," she supplied, "and we can't recognize the handwriting."

"May I see it?" he asked Lily.

She reluctantly handed it to him, seemingly attached to it. Once he had it in his hands, he examined it carefully. It was definitely one of James' better works, with a beautiful portrait of Lily, looking dreamily into the distance. He wondered if James had done it during History of Magic. Either way, Sirius had certainly chosen the best of the lot.

He then glanced at the caption by the drawing. It read '_To Lovely Lady Lily, Happy Christmas. With all my love, your secret admirer_'.

Lovely Lady Lily. Ever since Sirius had used it that first time when he had snatched James' notebook from him it had become the mangy dog's favourite way to tease James - calling her by that name and implying that he liked her - something that always made James grunt angrily and ignore his friend.

Handing the drawing back, he said, for the sake of appearances, "It's too regular and evenly spaced for it to be genuine handwriting, Lily," he told the redhead. "Possibly written with a dictation quill - unless it had been spelled there, and then you can find out who it is by magical signature."

Knowing Sirius, the master of forgery, it was most likely the former.

"Tried that already," she admitted. "It must be a dictation quill, then."

"Then I am afraid that there's nothing you can actually do about it. Unless you find the specific quill that did the job and spell it to see who had held it while writing the words."

But again, knowing Sirius, the dictation quill that had written those words was already incinerated and left no tracks to be found. The boy was a master at what he did, Remus had to admit.

The rest of the evening went quietly for him. He found he rather enjoyed the girls' company, and so it was only well into the late hours of the night that he came to release his two friends from their makeshift prison.

They were both fast asleep and quite black and blue.

In the morning, however, it was as though nothing had happened.

**_Boys!_ They can be quite childish at times, no? But that's why we love 'em.**

**This is it for this time, people! So what will be have next time? First Out of Shack Outing, a little bit more about Lily and James' obsession with her, Snape and his grudges and so much more! Hope to see you all there, in the currently still unnamed chapter! ;)**

**Hugs and Kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	18. Of Adventures and Romance

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Look who has updated the story! Yes - it is I, and I so terribly sorry for taking this long, but I _can_ promise (and this time I _will_ be keeping my word) that the next update would be within the week (Thursday if I'm not too tired, Friday if I am), since the next chapter is already written and only needs a little polishing.

A few comments before you begin reading this chapter:

1. This chapter contains a little thoughts of Remus' own love-life, but it's only a little and don't expect anything to happen, since as we all know, our favourite werewolf is a stubborn one, and there is only one person in this life that is truly for him, and she's just a little child at this point in time ;) Go Tonks!

2. I have finally decided on how many chapters this story is going to have. There will be fifty chapters, and I am currently working on building a backlog of chapters so I would be able to update more rapidly - at some point in the near future…

3. Well… there's isn't really a 3 - please enjoy:D

**Chapter Eighteen - Of Adventures and Romance**

Christmas holiday came and went and with it Sirius and James' little 'disagreement'. It seemed, that after reflection (and a good pounding), James realized that there was nothing he could do about it, and despite Sirius being a complete and utter git with the juvenile traits of a nine-year-old, he was still his best friend, and therefore should be forgiven.

_This_ time.

The new term brought with it the feeling of urgency only such brutal exams as the Orinary Wizarding Levels could bring. Suddenly completely sane students turned into raved beings, prepared to kill for a single book on a subject they were sure they would fail fantastically.

While Peter, who was always the weakest of the four in matters of academics, partially succumbed to the growing madness of those around him, his panic growing as each teacher began piling even more homework on their students' unsuspecting backs, and Remus threw himself even deeper into his studies, proclaiming pranks to be not in place at the moment - at least not until he could get ahead of what was taught in class - the other two Marauders did not even lift a single book, but lounged about, occasionally pointing out Remus' mistakes for him, or trying to show Peter that it really was not all that bad.

Almost every evening they went out flying in the Quidditch pitch and James quite happily decided on practices three to four times a week, nearly earning himself a good scuffle with a very enraged Keira who apparently took her OWLs very seriously.

Remus found it absolutely maddening, and knew that he was not the only one to find it so. If anything, his annoyance at their sheer genius (or perhaps plain laziness) was the mildest of all those who resented James and Sirius for it. He certainly did not voice it as the others did.

While many of their fellow Gryffindors muttered darkly whenever they spotted the duo doing nothing, first and foremost amongst them all was, naturally, Lily. It always seemed to Remus as though she was just _looking_ for a reason to hate James - and if Sirius came along for the ride - all the better. More than once, during a busy evening, when Remus would try and read his Transfiguration book - or perhaps Charms or even Potions (that he hated with a passion) - over the noise his friends made, playing Exploding Snap, he would raise his head from the pages and catch her glaring at the pair with her own growing pile of books and notes in front of her. She also had no qualms openly telling James that he would no doubt fail his OWLs miserably because he was not taking it seriously, and that when he did - she would be there to gloat.

While Remus understood those particular sentiments, he found it hard to understand why Lily acted this way. While James did nothing to make her like him in the four and a half years they had known one another, she did not harbour such intense feelings of hate for Sirius, who had been James' partner-in-crime for almost just as long. If anything, in the last year, ever since Remus made Prefect, Lily's hate to James seemed to intensify tenfold. She seemed to be searching him out, making a point out of stopping by the Marauders no matter where they were and glaring at him or telling him that she hated him. It made no sense.

Sometimes Remus honestly thought girls were crazy.

Right after Lily in line was Keira, though she seemed more inclined to treat James and Sirius equally - despite the fact that she terribly resented her cousin for slave-driving the Quidditch team more than ever in preparation for the upcoming match right after Valentine's Day. Every time she berated Sirius, however, the boy glowed and treated her to his best grin. He actually enjoyed it.

"At least it means she pays attention to me," the tall boy confided in Remus one evening when James was out of hearing range, planning this or other game strategy. "I knew that no girl could ignore the Black charm for long! She's just proving to me that she's no different."

Remus just took that confession as another proof that Sirius' intentions for James' foul-tempered cousin were far more serious that any of them imagined. He could understand why Sirius kept it from James, but he knew that sooner or later one of the cousins would realize what was behind Sirius' constant teasing and insinuations. That, or Sirius would take it to the next level, openly going for Keira and abandoning all his other conquests until further notice.

For the time being, however, he seemed content with just having her constantly against him.

Remus decided that he should watch the two of them for a while. It was far more interesting that the properties of moonstone or the proper incantation for the levitation charm. And so he took to watching the two interact. It did not take him long to discover something _very_ intriguing.

Keira and Sirius were playing a very intricate game. It was a game of wits, mostly, but also a very physical one at times, and both player were evenly matched. Remus, even though he was only fifteen (_nearly sixteen, _he kept reminding himself), could see that the two were attracted to each other, yet both were either too proud or too worried about what James would think to make a move.

Sirius never had any trouble with the ladies. Any girl he fancied found her way into his arms. He had years behind him to perfect it and was adapt at flirting and getting what he wanted. It was truly a strange thing that the only thing standing between him and the only girl that really matched him and proved to be smart as well as pretty was his best friend.

And James was not even aware of it.

It would have been funny, had it not been sad.

As it were, however, as both were conscious of what James might think, a relationship between Keira and Sirius seemed hopeless.

This, of course, brought Remus to a subject he was not quite fond of thinking about. His own love-life - or lack of it. He could not deny being attracted to girls, but unlike Sirius, and to some degree, James, he could not act on it. Rash actions would only bring sorrow to him. Even if he would reject it as a lie had one of his friends asked it, Remus knew that he was a romantic at heart. More than anything he wished to have the same thing his parents had - bottomless love that came from knowing your spouse like the back of your hand and appreciating them for what they were.

He knew he could never have that.

Remus Lupin was a werewolf, and no sane woman would ever want a relationship with such a creature. Werewolves were dangerous, unbalanced beings that would turn against you at the drop of a hat. Hell, even he mistrusted himself at times.

Of all the girls he found himself attracted to, there was one in particular that he liked - not only as potential girlfriend, but as a friend as well. Had he had that option, he would have asked Wren Carn out. Tough they only spoke rarely, since the girls and boys of the Gryffindor fifth year did not get along because of the rift between James and Lily, he truly appreciated her ever since that first ever Christmas he had spent at Hogwarts and his respect only grew as he watched he fighting he unidentified illness, still managing to find reasons to laugh and enjoy life. The sickly Gryffindor was so much stronger than she appeared to be. Her sister practically worshipped her and even Lily and Keira deferred to her at times.

Yes, had Remus had the option, Wren would definitely be his choice.

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As the months of the second term slowly passed, the students of the fifth year were under a growing pressure of essays and revisions. Even carefree Sirius and James seemed to wilt a little, as their partners-in-crime refused to assist them in pulling off pranks. Even Quidditch was not the same for them when they could not alternate it with some good prank on the Slytherins. Finally, Sirius came up with just the thing to liven up his and James' existence.

"I think I know just the thing to distract us from the OWLs and everything," he said, his eyes twinkling manically. Remus doubted Sirius needed any _more_ distraction, but kept his mouth shut when he noticed a spark of hope in James' eyes.

"Oh?" the messy-haired boy said, obviously bored out of his mind.

"Don't you think the Shack is getting a _little_ too tight for the four of us to have proper fun?"

Remus had a foreboding feeling coming from the pit of his stomach. This was _not_ good. Sirius usually had the worst ideas. Whatever it was this time, he was not going to give in. Not this time. Not at all.

Oh… who was he kidding?

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"Are you _sure_ we should do this?" Remus asked nervously as the other three Marauders stood in their dorm, watching him stuff random clothes into a bag to maintain the illusion that he was going home to visit his ill mother again on the morning of the full moon. He really wished they would change their minds miraculously. He somehow doubted it would ever happen, though. He really should have agreed to play a prank every now and then. Look where his refusal got him to.

"Of course we are," James said with certainty, the excited gleam that always came whenever the Marauders were up to something back in his eyes after being missing in action for almost two months. "It's going to be great, Moony. Mark my words."

"Yes, but-" Remus brushed a stray lock of hair out of his pale, drawn and tired face, "-you only spent these precious few times with me. I don't know if you're quite enough in control to do it. I may escape you."

"If you escape us one of us will turn back to human form and stun you before you would be able to do anything dangerous to yourself or to anyone else. We have it all figured out."

Of _course_ they did.

"Trust us, Moony," Sirius said. "We know what we are doing."

_Do you, now?_ Remus could not help that treacherous thought from entering his mind. Ever since Sirius came up with the ludicrous idea that it would be fun to allow the werewolf out of the tunnel to 'breathe a bit of fresh air' he kept thinking that he should do something to stop them from going through with it.

Needless to say, he failed spectacularly. Sometimes he wondered why exactly he was even trying. Four and a half years of failing repeatedly should have taught him something.

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Silver light hit closed, furry eyelids. It hurt as usual. It was like acid on bare skin. It was like fire on the beast's fur. Slowly it opened its eyes, finding itself lying on the familiar wooden floor.

Like every month, it made its way out of the room and to the scratched, worn wooden staircase. It could smell them. They were there again - those strange three animals that seemed fearless of it. Soon enough it spotted them, standing motionlessly by an open door. That door had never been open in all its sojourns there. It was curious, and suggested an option that it never had until then.

Instead of a single option, two formed themselves in the feral mind. One was the obvious attempt to tear through them and escape for freedom at any cost. The other - somehow unfamiliar to the werewolf's mind - was to stay and see what happens.

In the recesses of its mind a fierce struggle began as it eyed the three suspiciously, not sure if they were really who it thought they were or not. Two entities struggled for partial dominion, as the normally repressed one tried making itself heard. Finally that one entity won the fight and _he_ was aware.

The wolf came to the three animals and sat docilely by them, his whole demeanor passive to let them no there will be no fight to the death. The dog seemed to give him a canine, toothy grin and then bounded off through the open door without warning, his tail wagging madly. The wolf gave the stag a questioning look. Somehow he felt as though he needed his permission before following. As the majestic creature slowly nodded its head, the wolf let out a sound that was half bark, half howl and went out to chase the dog, the stag closely behind them with the rat safely nestled on top one of the huge antlers.

As the wolf erupted from under the branches of the Willow, too quickly to be hit by the flailing limbs, he felt elated. For the first time in his existence, he felt the cool wind of the night stroking his fur, lifting his spirit with its gentle touch.

He could see the dog waiting for him in the distance, his tail still wagging, and more felt than heard the branches of the tree freeze to allow the stately stag out and knew that for the first time, he was truly and utterly free.

Letting out a long, full-throated howl, he ran after the dog, fully prepared to take on the chase.

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When Madam Pomfrey came to get Remus the next morning, she was surprised no to see even one scratch on the boy's body. He was tired, of course, and the mere effort of the transformation took a lot out of him, but everything was internal, and nothing that a good rest and a few restoratives could not fix. There were no injuries - nothing to suggest that he had gone through something worse than a simple flu.

"I don't understand how this is possible," she kept muttering to herself as she led him to the Hospital Wing for a more thorough check-up that would still yield no results. "Not even a bruise on you."

All the way back to school Remus had to fight the grin that was trying to lift the corners of his mouth.

If she only knew…

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After that first time, the Marauders could no longer feel satisfied from simply joining their friend at the Shack. Each full moon found them outside in the open, roaming the grounds as though they were their own private kingdom. Soon even that was not enough, for there was only that much that they did not know about the school grounds and so the April full moon found them brazenly entering the Forbidden Forest.

It was during that expedition, as they traveled unknown paths and mapped in their heads the previously unfamiliar territories, that they had their first close call. For years later it was a question debated between the Marauders as they tried to assess what had happened.

What was Hagrid doing in the Forbidden Forest at that time of the month when he clearly knew that on the full moon werewolves roamed?

The wolf and the dog were in the middle of a friendly scuffle when the wolf's ears pricked and he froze in place, his muzzle raised, his sense of smell catching a mere whiff that soon drove Remus out of his place of semi-control and to the back of the beast's mind as animalistic instinct took over.

Forgetting it was with other animals, the werewolf took off, only one thought in its mind.

BLOOD!

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Remus woke up the next morning with a big headache and little recollection of what happened after his scuffle with Padfoot. He almost jumped out of his skin in shock when Madam Pomfrey's face swam into his line of vision. She was frowning.

"You've done yourself some damage this time," she said, forcing him to take a light restorative in order for him to be able to get on his feet and walk with her to the castle. "My, it has been a while since last I had to treat your wounds. And these are mighty strange ones, I'll tell you that." Again, she seemed to be mostly talking to herself.

At lunchtime that day Sirius, James and Peter came to visit him. When they arrived, Sirius carefully drew the curtains and cast a privacy charm around them. He had a black eye and James winced as he sat down by the bed.

"What happened last night?" Remus asked steadily.

"Hagrid was in the Forest," Peter said matter-of-factly, not sugarcoating it. "You smelled him and tried to go for a kill. Padfoot and Prongs stopped you, but you cracked one of Prongs' ribs and you can see the new decoration Padfoot has."

"Oh," was all he could say as images of what _could_ have happened flooded him.

"You feeling all right, Moony?" James asked.

"Yeah, yeah," he said distractedly, suddenly wishing he was alone. His friends seemed to sense that, for they bid him a good day and left him, for once heeding his unspoken wishes.

As they left him alone he sank into dark thoughts. On one hand, he really thought that their escapades were far too dangerous, and that almost-incident proved him right. But on the other hand…

He really _did_ enjoy those times that he could actually remember the full moons and take advantage of the curse that ruled his life. He did not want to give that up. It was the only thing that kept him from going crazy whenever another full moon came by with a vengeance.

He was in a real fix.

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It was on the night before the Quidditch match between Hufflepuff and Slytherin (of which outcome James was very anxious about, as it would decide who was to be against Gryffindor in the final) that something unexpected had happened. For several days before that James looked nervous to Remus. At first the young werewolf thought that perhaps James was afraid that Slytherin would win and that he would lose the Cup to them on his first year of captaincy. But then he realized that James was far too sure of himself and too arrogant to even consider that.

And then, that evening, James had answered that question for him unawares.

"Sirius?"

From his place several feet away from were James and Sirius were sitting, Remus almost looked up in surprised from the text he was helping Peter to go through. He had never heard such hesitancy in his friend's voice. It was as though the overly-confident and arrogant James Potter of the past years had never existed. He sounded unsure of himself.

Remus did not feel too guilty eavesdropping. James should have known better than to conduct private conversations within a werewolf's range of hearing.

"What is it, Prongs?" Sirius asked distractedly, his eyes glued to one of the sixth year girls who was giggling with her friends.

"How do you know when you like someone?"

The question was asked softly and Remus only barely caught it, but as his mind processed the words, his body already bolted upright. This was something he had _never_ expected James to ask. Apparently, neither had Sirius.

"Ummm…" Sirius managed to let out, tearing his gaze from the girl. "I… err… what brought this on, Prongs?" he finally said, his eyes wide.

"It's just a… rhetorical question - you know?" James said lamely, probably knowing that Sirius did not - and neither Remus, for that matter - believe him. "Just because you've been with all those girls I thought… that maybe…" his voice drifted off hopelessly.

"Well…" Sirius scratched the side of his head almost embarrassedly, "I suppose I never really _liked_ liked anyone - d'you know? It's just physical attraction and all that stuff. If she looks like a good snog, then I'd just go after her." He nodded discreetly in the direction of the girl he had been staring at earlier. "I don't think I'm the person you need to ask about this… _rhetorical_ question of yours."

A rare moment of integrity from the all-knowing Sirius Black, Remus mused rather cynically.

"Who then?" James sounded almost desperate.

"Keira, maybe?" Sirius suggested half-heartedly.

"Are you _crazy_?" James' soft voice was raised several tones at this point. "If I ever so much as _mention_ this to my darling cousin it'll be all over the school in _minutes_!"

Privately, Remus thought that this was unfair towards Keira, who was nowhere _near_ being a gossip, and truly loved her cousin, despite their both pretending they loathed each other with a passion. He had seen through their game years before.

"Fine!" Sirius hurriedly tried pacifying his best friend. "No Keira! But really, mate - I can't help you there. Not unless you tell me… who is it that you've got your eye on?"

"I _told_ you," James said vehemently. "It was a _rhetorical_ question!" And with that, the messy-haired Gryffindor stomped off, muttering angrily to himself.

Sirius, apparently noticing Remus' eyes on him, gave the young werewolf a look that plainly asked 'What did I do _this_ time?'

Remus could do nothing but shrug. To himself, however, he wondered whether James was finally beginning to admit to himself that he no longer saw Lily as a loathed rival. It had to be it.

James was obviously beginning to realize something, and that something was what Remus had pointed out to Sirius at the very beginning of the year.

He fancied Lily.

Thinking back on it, Remus could not quite point at the exact time his friend might have realized it. Somewhere in-between teasing her and getting berated by her, it had finally entered James' mind that the reason behind giving Lily his constant attention whenever she was around was that she was a very pretty girl and that he was attracted to her. Remus could only imagine what kind of shock he was in when he discovered that.

He wondered how long it would take his friend to give up the charade and admit that his question had not been all that rhetorical.

As it turned out - not very long.

The Marauders were sitting at the common room, for once all four of them not doing anything. Peter was playing Chess against Sirius, Remus was reading a book and James… well, from the corner of his eye, Remus could see that James' eyes were fixed on a certain spot on the other side of common room, where the Gryffindor girls were sitting with a group of sixth year boys. He was glaring at a boy that made Lily laugh only moments before.

Noticing that Remus was looking at him, James sighed. "She's really beautiful, isn't she?" he said forlornly.

Remus shrugged.

"I think I may like her."

With this simple sentence James proved two things: the first, that Remus' suspicions were right all alone, and the second - that Sirius was listening in.

"Took you long enough, mate," the tall boy said dismissively and then growled as Peter's queen took his last knight. "Moony and I have known it for _ages_."

A lie, if Remus ever heard one. Sirius would have remained oblivious had it not been for him.

James, however, did not pick up on that small glitch in truth. "Y-you _what_?"

"You're a little slow on the uptake, eh, mate?" Sirius said gleefully. "It was obvious that you had a thing for her. You're really dense, oh friend-of-mine."

"Should I ask her out then?" James asked, his eyes fixed on Lily's back.

Even Sirius was alarmed at this quick move by James.

"I - _what_? Prongs, don't you think it's a little _early_ to be thinking about this?" Sirius asked in a pained voice. "Until last week or so you were completely certain that you hated her with a passion!"

James shrugged.

"I think you should go for it," Peter said suddenly. "Check."

Sirius did not know at whom to gape - at James for suddenly taking an open interest in Lily Evans, or at Peter who had just won a game of chess against him.

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Eventually James had decided on his own that this was not the best of times to ask Lily out, but that did not stop him from agonizing over the idea and asking them repeatedly whether _now_ was a better time to go for it.

Soon enough, however, all thought of the matter was driven out of his mind for a while, since something much more serious and troubling had happened, to shake the entire school from top to bottom.

They were sitting at breakfast one morning when the post entered with its usual flutter of hundreds of wings. None of them was expecting a letter, but out of habit they all looked up.

"This is strange," James said suddenly, frowning as his eyes followed a familiar owl making its way towards him. "I just got a letter from home yesterday. Mum can't be missing me _that_ much."

"Maybe she discovered you've been filching chocolate from Dumbledore's secret stash?" Sirius suggested jokingly. Peter laughed appreciatively at this, glad of the momentarily distraction from the upcoming pre-OWL exam Slughorn had decided they sorely needed.

Remus, however, was not laughing. An unexpected owl at this time, when the Wizarding World was in such turmoil? It could only spell trouble. James, too, seemed to be thinking along those lines, since as the owl landed gracefully beside his plate, he gingerly took the letter from it and hesitated before opening the envelope with his mother's familiar handwriting on it.

It did not take long for the three other Marauders to see that the letter did not bring good news to their friend. The widening of his eyes as he skimmed down the page spoke volumes. They waited in silence to hear what wrong. Whatever it was, James would not be keeping it from them.

"The Ashwoods are dead," he finally said, putting down the letter, his face pale. "All of them. The Dark Mark was found over their house."

The Dark Mark. The Dark Lord's sign of death.

Remus knew the Ashwood family. His mother worked closely at some point with Agatha - the aging matron that ruled the family with an iron fist and lots of chocolate for her grandchildren. The elderly woman often came visiting back then, and always treated Remus kindly despite his situation. He and his family were even once invited for dinner at her place and he got to meet them all.

They were all highly respected, hard-working people. Their only problem was that they were not completely pure-blooded. Agatha Ashwood had been Muggle-born. It was the first time a trace of Muggle blood had entered the family.

James seemed to be in a world of his own. "I've known Amanda ever since I was very young," he said as though to himself, "-she used to keep an eye on me when Mum and Dad were still on the field." His voice was strangely choked and he did not meet the others' eyes. "She just got married a few years back. To a Muggle-born. Their eldest was only four…"

The Marauders did not know what to say. The implications of what had happened were too dire to be ignored. The Dark Lord was starting to look away from strictly Muggles and Muggle-born.

After the death of the entire Ashwood family, not even the students of Hogwarts could pretend not to be aware of the dark times that the Wizarding World had entered. Many of the pure-blooded families had connections to the half-blooded family - many knew it and respected it for its charity work.

The vague feeling of dread that had only barely been felt by them up until then had developed into something darker, much more sinister. It was as though a black cloud had covered the sunshine of their childhood, making them feel cold and uncertain of their future. Uncertain of the future of the entire Wizarding World. Despite the fact that the man calling himself Lord Voldemort, whose name no one dared speak aloud anymore, had been killing for several years, it was the first time that a family with only a trace of Muggle blood was murdered so brutally.

Many of the Slytherins, however, seemed delighted at the prospect the deed had brought them - of completely purifying the Wizarding World of Muggle blood.

"Hey, Black!" Snape's voice echoed in an empty hallway where only the Marauders and a group of Slytherins were at the time. "Don't you think it's time you came back to the winning side and made yourself useful?"

"Just ignore him," Remus pleaded with Sirius and James, who appeared to be ready to attack.

"You have that ability in you, Black!" Snape continued to taunt, cheered on by the others of his House, amongst them Sirius' brother. "You've proven yourself cruel enough in the past! What's the difference between what you do and taking up the so-called Dark Arts?"

"Why, you-" Sirius began threateningly, his fists clenched, but stopped advancing as Remus, with Peter's aid, pulled him back by his robes. "I will never get near those filthy Arts of yours, Snape! I will never demean myself as to kiss the feet of this lord of yours!"

"Oh, but you can't deny not knowing anything about the Arts, brother mine," Regulus' silky voice interrupted. "After all, we _have_ grown up in the same house, no? I do believe Mother taught both of us equally - or that she had taught you far better as the heir."

At this Sirius paled, his hands dropping to his sides. He did not meet James' questioning gaze as the Slytherins all laughed and turned their backs on the Marauders in a gesture that clearly said that they were not afraid of the four Gryffindors.

"Sirius…?" James asked softly. "What…" he trailed off, seeing the guilt in his friend's eyes. Shaking his head he said "It doesn't matter, Padfoot. It really doesn't. One day I hope you can learn to see that on your own." And with that he left in the opposite direction from the Slytherins, leaving the other three in silence.

"Those stupid monsters!" Sirius finally growled, his eyes narrowed as he stared at his brother's retreating back. Remus thought that his anger mostly stemmed from the fact that the Marauders - but most specifically James - now knew something he desperately wanted to remain hidden.

"Those 'stupid monsters' are your relatives, Sirius," he said quietly. "You've known them for that long. You shouldn't be surprised. Maybe you should do something about it. Denounce them perhaps? You keep speaking along those lines."

Sirius stared at him, his eyes no longer narrowed, but wide, as though he did not quite believe Remus had said that. "But they're my family," he said, looking as though not quite believing the words that were leaving _his_ mouth, either.

Remus sighed, a note of sadness in that single expelling of air. He had a question to ask his friend. He knew that what he was about to ask would hurt Sirius terribly, but he also knew that someone had to say it, and James was not around to do so. Their friend had gone to who-know-where, to contemplate what had just been revealed, and most likely how he could make Sirius understand that he really did not care. Sirius would have to hear it coming from Remus, for it truly mattered what his answer would be. It was really the crux of the matter.

If Sirius could not answer it, then they were all in a great deal of trouble.

"I think you need to answer a question, Padfoot," he finally said softly, looking into his friend's eyes. "Both for your sake and for us all. Unless you can decide, you will never be whole again.

"What is more important to you, Sirius? Friends - or family?"

**What a difficult question for our poor Sirius to answer… though he really dislikes his family, it is hard for one to shake those bonds completely…**

**What will we have in the next chapter? Well… does Snape's Worst Memory ring any bells? Yes. We have finally reached that stage in the story. So tune in next week!**

**Thanks to all my loyal reviewers - your comments always make my day!**

**Hugs and Kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	19. The OWLs and What Came After

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Hello, people! Guess what? The most charged scene in OotP comes to pay a visit to _The Story of Four Friends_! Yes, that's right! We have finally reached the point in Marauder time that Snape's Worst Memory takes place… Now, while this chapter consists largely of JKR's original text, it is mostly the dialogue that I have taken directly and very little of the actual descriptions - which makes sense, since it _is_ from Remus' point of view and not from Harry's.

And so, I hope that you will enjoy it since here you will read what our dear Prefect werewolf who had sat there with his eyes glued to his book while Harry watched his dad and godfather torture old Snapey-poo _really_ thought of what had happened. Also, you will find out about a question that had troubled me a little when I read OotP for the second time (or was it third? Can't remember…)

So do enjoy this update, despite it being short (I really wanted to end the chapter where I did because it felt more appropriate). I think that the next one would be much longer.

Enjoy!

**Chapter Nineteen - The OWLs and What Came After**

Sirius never did answer Remus' question that year. Often he seemed troubled, his eyes clouded, but he did not say a thing. Remus told James what he had done, thinking that maybe Sirius was angry with him for voicing what they all knew to be true, but the messy-haired boy shook his head and just told him to forget it - Sirius would speak again when he would come to terms with his thoughts.

James was right, of course. Who else would know Sirius better than the boy himself? As though nothing had ever happened, Sirius bounced back to his usual behaviour and started pressing for pranks to be done again.

And then, almost as though no time had passed, between those small pranks and the joy of spending the full moons with his friends, OWL season had arrived, driving even the most balanced students who had not panicked in the previous months into insanity with the overload of homework and the growing pressure. If Remus thought the beginning of the second term was horrible, he could not believe it had actually gotten worse.

Right after Christmas he could not imagine a worse workload. Now, a month before the end of the year, he found out just wrong he had been. It was _horrible_. In the course of the week preceding the first OWL exam, ten different people were sent to Madam Pomfrey for calming droughts, while numerous others had to be seated in a quiet room without any school equipment for their nerves to loosen.

Peter was constantly on the very edge of tears, no matter how Remus tried to comfort him.

And while all this was happening, those infernal two friends of his were _still_ lounging about, playing Chess, or Exploding Snap, or out playing Quidditch. It was truly infuriating.

Even more annoying than that, was James' constant worrying over whether he should ask Lily out for a date or not. Lately, Remus noted, his friend started calling her by her given name whenever it was only the Marauders around. While in public, he reverted back to calling her Evans in his usual taunting tone. Remus thought his friend could not have done anything more stupid than that.

It was several days later when the boy had proved him wrong.

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OWL time advanced much more quickly than Remus had expected it to. It was as though the days sped by. No exam registered in his mind for longer than an hour after it was done, for he had to cram his mind full of facts for the next in line. Every night he fell to bed, exhausted and completely disoriented, his mind swimming with dates, incantation and faces of wizards long-deceased. He was quite surprised that he managed to actually pull the right answers to the right questions from his teeming mind.

One by one, he ticked off the subjects in which he had already been tested: Charms, Potions, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology, Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, History of Magic and Astronomy. And finally, there were only two left - Transfiguration and Defence Against the Dark Arts.

While Remus dreaded certain exams, the Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL exam was not one of them. He was confident that whatever any other exam would entail, he had at least one O in the bag. He had always excelled in that subject, no matter the teacher.

As he sat in the Great Hall and read the exam paper for the first time, he allowed a smile to grace his lips. It was even easier than he had thought it would be. Soon he was deep into answering the questions and lost count of the time that had passed.

It was only a long while later that he reached the final question of the Dark Creatures section which he always left for last, and felt his stomach drop several inches. He really _had_ hoped that there would be no question concerning werewolves. Scratching his chin with the end of his quill as he skimmed through it, he frowned.

If they just absolutely _had_ to put a question in, did it have to be such a stupid, obvious one? His esteem to the team writing the OWL questions dropped a few notches. He quickly jotted down the answer, feeling ill as he did.

Glancing about him, he could see James doodling on a bit of parchment which he had probably had in his pocket - torn from his sketchbook no doubt. He had obviously finished a while ago. Sirius was tilting his chair back and forth, making sure to show off all his finer attributes for the girls around him to see. Peter was chewing his nails - a sure sign of nervousness in his friend if he ever saw one. He frowned again. The exam was not _that_ hard - what was Peter struggling with this time?

Before he had time to contemplate it, Professor Flitwick's voice stopped everyone. "Quills down, please!" he squeaked, and then, almost without stopping, added, "that means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio!_"

Remus closed his eyes, unable to watch as he knew what would inevitably happen, and knew in just as much certainty that were he to watch, he would burst out laughing, and that would be disgraceful. He liked Flitwick too much to do that to him. He was somewhat surprised that his professor could not see it as clearly as he could. After all, what did the tiny man expect would happen, with over a hundred rolls of parchment cutting the air towards him?

He could hear the muffled thump as Flitwick no doubt hit the ground and the sniggers he knew would come soon after. Only when he heard the professor's panted thanks did he dare opening his eyes again.

Smiling to himself, Remus picked up his bag and strode off to meet his friends.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as the group went through the doors and into the Entrance Hall. There was a certain gleeful note in his voice and Remus wished he would be more tactful for once in his life.

"Loved it," he said, however. "_Give five signs that identify the werewolf_. Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" James said mockingly, rolling his eyes.

"Think I did," he replied, pretending to be serious, somewhat relieved that they were not taking it seriously either. He started counting on his fingers as they walked through the crowd of students escaping the castle after their last exam for the day, making their way outside. "One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."

Sirius and James both burst out laughing at this, Sirius clapping his back as though to say that was a great answer, despite the fact that they all knew he had not actually written it.

Peter, apparently still nervous and worried about the exam, did not laugh. "I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he said, "but I couldn't think what else-"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" James said, raising his eyebrows. "You run round with a werewolf once a month-"

This was too much for Remus. While James may have been truly incredulous at Peter's complete lack of thought, they would all be in a lot of trouble if someone found out about the four of them. "Keep your voice down," he begged.

Thankfully, James complied with a slight nod of his head, and the four made their way down the front lawn towards the lake.

Sirius and James were certain they would both get an Outstanding mark, and Remus was not one to argue. If anyone could get a straight O without even trying it was those two. He did not share his belief that his marks would equal theirs in this exam, but decided that they already knew. It was his best subject, after all.

Suddenly, James pushed his hand into his pocket and withdrew it again, this time holding a Snitch that was doing it's best to escape his grasp.

"Where'd you get that?" Sirius asked curiously. Remus wanted to know that as well. James had always been a Chaser. It was his best position and he enjoyed it greatly. He had never shown any professional interest in being a Seeker. It simply did not sit well with his obvious scoring talents.

"Nicked it," James answered absently as he began playing with it, releasing it and allowing it to fly a short distance away before snaking his hand out in lightening-fast reflexes befitting a Seeker, and catching it again. To Remus it seemed as though he did not even realize what he was doing. It was almost as though his mind was somewhere else.

Finally the four reached their favourite place to lounge about in - the birch tree at the very edge of the water, on the soft, sun-warmed grass. It was a fine day, and would have been a complete waste had they not put it into good use.

Knowing that they all needed to relax after the hard week they had, Remus knew they will not be planning any pranks nor doing much talking, and so he took out his newest Transfiguration book (sent to him by his grandmother sometime around Easter) and began reading. He expected a calming afternoon. The only thing that interrupted his quiet reading was the distant sound of girls giggling and the occasional clapping coming from Peter. He could only guess as to what made the small boy so excited.

"Put that away, will you," Sirius snapped suddenly as Peter let out a cheer, "before Wormtail wets himself with excitement."

Remus looked up from his book, his eyebrows raised. He wondered what could make Sirius this impatient and rude to their friend. He realized with rising dread that his friend was bored, and that rarely boded well.

"If it bothers you," James said with a grin and put the Snitch back in place.

Then Sirius confirmed Remus' suspicions. "I'm bored. Wish it was full moon."

"You might," Remus said in a low voice, his eyes back on his book. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here…" he tried handing over his book to Sirius, but the other boy just snorted and ignored his offer.

"I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."

Remus could just about strangle the git at that moment. Withdrawing the book, he sighed and went back to reading, but something inside said something that sounded too much like _oh, dear_ to his liking. He looked up just as James said "This'll liven you up, Padfoot," in a quiet voice that Remus could barely hear. "Look who it is…"

Remus followed the direction of his two friends' gaze and felt his heart plummeting down to the pit of his stomach. This was _not_ good. Not good at _all_.

"Excellent," Sirius let out in a soft hiss. "_Snivellus_."

A short distance away from them, in the shadow of a dense group of bushes, was Snape, who was on his feet, putting what appeared to be the OWL paper from before back into his bag. Before Remus could say anything, James and Sirius were also on their feet, making their way across the distance separating them from the other boy. They moved like two predators, cornering their prey.

Knowing he could do nothing without Sirius turning against him for a while - especially in the mood he was in lately - he remained seated, gluing his eyes back to the book. Yet he did not read, all his concentration on his ears, straining his hearing to its limits, in an attempt to catch everything of what was happening. If he would have to step in to stop his friends, he would do it, but only if absolutely unavoidable, in the case of certain death for Snape. Otherwise he did not dare cross Sirius and James.

"All right, Snivellus?" James asked loudly, making Remus wince.

Snape did not even bother to answer. Remus did not see what was happening, but seconds later he could hear James shouting the disarming spell, which made his head snap up in fear.

Just as he looked up, Snape tried to dive for his wand, lying several feet away from him on the grass, but his effort was left unrewarded, for James chose that moment to cast the Impediment Curse on the fallen boy, making Snape fall in his place, where he remained lying until James and Sirius reached him, wands raised. Remus knew he was not imagining when he saw James glancing at the lake's shore where a group of girls sat, amongst them one redhead. It made his blood run cold.

What was James _thinking_?

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" his messy-haired friend asked, as though politely, from his advantageous position.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," Sirius smiled evilly and Remus realized that this was - at least from Sirius' side - a getting back gesture at what Snape less than a month before. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Some of the people, who had been steadily nearing the scene for the past five minutes or so, started laughing at this. They were just waiting to see how the least popular student Slytherin had to offer was going to pay this time.

Snape was desperately trying to get up, fighting against the invisible binds of the jinx. Panting, he managed, with the deepest hatred ever known to mankind, to choke out at James. "You - wait. You - wait!"

"Wait for what?"

Remus dreaded that part. Sirius was getting back into the picture, and Snape had just supplied him with a great opening.

"What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

From the corner of his eye, Remus could see a group coming near the scene, though his attention was still on his friends, contemplating whether this was the point of no return, where he _had_ to make a stand.

In the meantime, Snape was cursing at the two boys ineffectually.

"Wash your mouth," James said in disgust and disdain. "_Scourgify!_"

It was only as the soap bubbles erupted from Snape's mouth, starting to make him choke, and as Remus began getting to his feet to bring a stop to it that he realized exactly what group was making their way towards the three boys a short distance away from him, and as one person removed themselves from the group, a person with red hair, only one thought went through his head.

_Oh, my._

"Leave him ALONE!"

Lily Evans had come to the rescue - and she did not seem very happy about it. Her red hair moved as though in an invisible wind and her eyes narrowed into angry slits. Remus prayed whatever god or deity that would hear him that James would not do anything stupid.

"All right, Evans?" said boy asked, suddenly sounding much more mature, his voice deepening and taking on a pleasant tone. Maybe he would be able to divert Lily's anger, Remus desperately thought, knowing Lily's temper.

"Leave him alone," she said again, dislike evident in her voice. Remus could only imagine what that tone was doing to his friend. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," James began and then said the most stupid thing he could have said, making Remus gape at him in horror, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…"

How could his friend be so _dense_? Of all the things he could have said - why did it have to be _this_? James was a bright young man. Could he not see that Lily wanted him to stop? Could he not see that by torturing Snape, as fun as it sometimes was, he was pushing her even further away? In alarm, he watched the scene unfold through lowered lashes, pretending to read his book, all the time wishing he could just knock some sense into James' head.

Preferably with a stone wall.

Almost everyone laughed at James' dumb reply. Lily did not.

"You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans."

Remus could not believe his ears. James did _not_ just say that. After weeks of floundering about, not daring to ask her out, James did _not_ just choose the worst of moments to make that step.

"Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

He _did_.

James was an absolute _idiot_.

Remus, thinking this darkly, was not therefore surprised when the redhead coldly said "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."

_Ouch_.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said shortly, apparently also stunned by what his best of friends had just done. Then, suddenly, exclaimed "OI!"

This made Remus look up again. By the time he did, Snape was already hanging upside-down in the air, his robes dropping to reveal his not-too-clean underwear, his wand fallen out of reach, and James was with his own wand pointed at the boy, a bleeding gash on his cheek, his eyes narrowed.

The crowd cheered, and Remus felt as though he was about to be sick.

"Let him down!" Lily demanded, but Remus, even through his own revulsion at what was going on, could have sworn he saw a momentary quirking of the lips before the scowl came back.

"Certainly," James said magnanimously and with a sharp jerk of his wand made Snape crumple in a heap on the ground. As soon as he hit the ground, the Slytherin attempted to rise.

His instincts may have been quick, but Sirius was quicker. Before anyone could blink, he cast the full body-bind and Snape fell to ground again, stiff as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted, her wand drawn now and trained on Sirius and James.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," James said in a serious voice, making Remus think that perhaps his friend had taken one too many Bludger to the head.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

With a sigh of resign, he did as she asked. "There you go," he said. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

If Remus thought an angry Lily Evans was scary, he soon reversed that opinion. An angry Lily Evans was certainly scary, no doubt about that, but a truly cold, disinterested Lily Evans was _terrifying._ "Fine," she said in a voice that was unlike her own. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

It was the first time Remus had ever heard her use the title the Marauders had given Snape. Until that day she was always polite to the rude, greasy Slytherin, calling him Severus - unless she was truly angry and called him Snape. But this… this was different. What Snape had just said was the last straw, and she was not going to stand it.

While Lily took it calmly enough, James, who took offense in her stead, flared up in anger. "Apologise to Evans!" he roared, his wand once again pointed at Snape.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologise," Lily shouted at James. "You're as bad as he is."

"What?" James was too shocked to describe, "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

While it sounded childish of James to say you-know-what, Remus understood that his friend really could not bring himself to utter that vile word. From childhood James Potter had been taught to never look down at Muggles and Muggle-born. He was taught to respect them and treat them as he would treat a half-blood or a pure-blood.

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing everyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." And with that she turned heel and left, leaving James shocked.

"Evans!" he shouted at her retreating back. "Hey, EVANS!"

But she did not turn to face him.

"What is it with her?"

To everyone else there it seemed like a flippant question, thrown to the air by the king of pranksters in the school. For Remus, however, and probably to Sirius as well, it sounded like what it truly was: the question of someone who was truly hurt by what he had just heard, by the redheaded beauty's rejection. James was just beginning to understand what a mistake it had been to confront Lily at just that point in time.

While Remus understood his anguish, yet thought he had somewhat deserved it, there was one thing that niggled in his mind. Lily and the other Gryffindor girls had been sitting some distance away from the Marauders earlier on, when James had taken out the Snitch from his pocket. None of the Marauders had seen the golden ball before and so it had obviously been nicked sometime that day, or the previous one at the most. If so, then how did Lily know that James was playing with it?

Why was Lily Evans watching James playing with the Snitch?

"Reading between the lines," Sirius' voice cut off Remus' chain of thought, "I'd say she thinks you're a little conceited, mate."

Probably the understatement of the year, Remus thought, but it was meant to lighten the mood.

It only did to fuel James' anger at his rejection. In seconds, Snape was once again hung upside-down in the air.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

This, even to Remus, was going too far. Thinking quickly, as he heard the cheers of encouragement coming from the crowd surrounding the three boys, he suddenly found his voice. In the most insolent of tones he could muster, knowing that this would be the only thing that would work, he called out "Oy, James! Leave that worthless slimeball already - we have more important things to do than torture someone who already _knows_ he's a worthless piece of human waste! C'mon already!"

Had it been Peter to shout this, or even Sirius at times, James probably would not have listened. However, since it was Remus, who only rarely called for meetings to plan things, it piqued James' interest, just like the young werewolf knew it would.

"Oh, all right, Moony!" James called back. "Be there in a minute!"

And indeed, seconds later, James released Snape of the spell holding him suspended in midair and allowed him to fall to the ground with a loud thump.

"You should feel lucky, Snivelly," Remus could hear him say softly, if vehemently. "Next time this happens, I will make sure you suffer for your insolence and your filthy mouth." Then, in a much stronger voice, he said "Come on, Padfoot. I do believe Moony wants to do a little planning!"

As the two turned to walk towards him, Remus could clearly see Snape, lying on the ground, winded as he was, with his eyes burning with hate and the need for revenge. But those dark, foreboding eyes were not looking at Sirius Black and James Potter, his chief tormentors. They were not even looking at the Muggle-born, redheaded Lily Evans who had just so casually insulted him.

His eyes were fixed on Remus, and inside them the young werewolf could read an animosity so dark that had never been there before. It made him shudder with an inexplicable fear.

Somehow he felt that this day would bring only trouble on all their heads.

**A great trouble indeed, as we all know… Well? This was it! What did you think? Tell me all about it!**

**Now, what will happen in the next chapter? The end of year regular prank, naturally, the summer holidays, and Remus gets a letter that will change a lot in years to come… who is the letter from and why is it so significant? Well… you'll just have to tune in next week, now won't you? ;)**

**Love you all and special thanks to all my wonderful reviewers!**

**-Star of the North**


	20. The Torment of Sirius

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** I know, I know. I promised to update a week after the previous chapter and it did not happen (again). To my defence, however, things have been…a bit on the crisis side around here and I was really busy at work. It wasn't intentional - it just… happened.

So, hopefully you have all forgiven me, and please enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter Twenty - The Torment of Sirius**

Despite James' sour mood and Remus' growing apprehension that Snape would do something to get his revenge on the Marauders, the four boys - or rather, Sirius and James - had not intention of skipping their gone-traditional end-of-year prank. In James' words "What's the point of building a legacy if we fold out at the slightest sign of trouble?"

Remus, having no reply to that, found himself reluctantly agreeing that they would do their prank as per usual.

And so, the last week of their fifth year was filled with whispered conversations, sneaky looks and muted sniggering for good measure. It also made the teachers quite jumpy, their knowing full-well the Marauders' tradition. They always seemed to be preying on the four boys, trying to discern what would be their prank _this_ year, and who would be the unwilling victim.

The Slytherins, being perhaps justly paranoid, were certain they would be the ones at whom the prank would be directed. Few in the school disagreed with that bleak forecast. Everybody knew of the bad blood between the Marauders and a certain Slytherin and his cronies. This, of course, made the major part of the school drop their guard a little too much, giving the four mischievous Gryffindors just the opening they needed.

It was not long before the end-of-year feast was in full motion, the students cheerfully talking to each other about the plans they had for the summer as they occasionally glanced at the Slytherin table, waiting for any sign of the Marauders' work. Only halfway through the feast did anyone start suspecting that perhaps this time the Slytherins would not be the target.

As the main courses and side dishes faded away, replaced by desserts, most of the school was already beginning to wonder what exactly was going on. There was no sign of mischief created by the four Gryffindor pranksters. It made everyone more than slightly on edge. The Marauders were anything _but_ predictable, but this was becoming ridiculous. Could they have decided to lay off the prank that year?

Impossible.

"Have we given them enough time to start feeling edgy?" Sirius asked somewhat wickedly as people hesitantly started eating the sweet variety on the tables, thinking that perhaps the most tempting part of the feast would be their downfall.

"I do believe we have, Padfoot, old boy," James said, grinning. "What say you, Moony?"

"I say stop that nonsense and get on with it," Remus said shortly, his eyebrows raised. Sirius and James were enjoying it far too much. "Wouldn't you agree, Wormtail?"

"Ummm… I s'pose so…" Peter said quietly, though his eyes twinkled.

"Let's get on with the show, then!" Sirius smirked. "Ready?"

The four moved their wands under the table, each responsible for one house, triggering the spells they had planted randomly only two hours before.

It did not take long for the rest of the school to discover what exactly was the Marauders' prank for that year's feast. It was quite impossible to ignore, when random people from all four houses sprang unto the tables and began performing. Some attempted ballet dancing - which was rather ridiculous, considering that one of the Slytherins affected by the jinxes was a burly seventh year boy, who scowled at all those laughing around him even while unable to stop his feet from going on tiptoes. Some were supposed to be opera singers, which possibly had been too much to ask, Remus decided as he desperately tried blocking his sensitive ears from hearing the high-pitched screeches of a tall, incredibly thin Ravenclaw fifth year.

There were gymnasts, whose feet simply kept flipping them in the air (it was harmless due to the precautions insisted on by Remus, but it still looked rather painful), fire breathers (who truly breathed fire - a spell that would last for half an hour, by James' reckoning), and people who simply floated in the air. There were jugglers who were compelled to juggle plates, cutlery and goblets. There were various dancers and singers with different styles.

The Marauders had turned Hogwarts into a living, breathing circus.

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"You do realize that these pranks of ours are getting gradually more and more ridiculous as each year passes?" Remus asked as the four of them played Exploding Snap on the train the next day, Hogwarts already far behind them.

"Of course," James said pleasantly, narrowly avoiding having his eyebrows singed by a small explosion of his cards. "But that's the fun in that. They can never quite predict what we will come up with every year. Take yesterday, for example. Everybody was certain that we would target the Slytherins, and so they were not prepared for the fact that we have in fact targeted the entire school. Tell me you did not find it fun."

Remus shrugged helplessly. It _had_ been fun. His friends were corrupting him, little by little. Strangely enough - he found he did not mind it. Did not mind it at all.

As they disembarked from the train at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, the Marauders already made plans to meet two weeks from that day, at Potter Manor - always the most convenient place.

Just before they went through the barrier, Remus heard James calling out to someone behind them.

"Hey, Evans! Don't think I've given up on you! I'll beat the Giant Squid yet!"

And Remus thought he had given up…

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It was a hot summer's day, but the gathering darkness on the horizon told anyone with a pair of working eyes that the heat would break soon in a foul storm of the stereotypical British weather. It would be a relief, everyone knew, since it was a very hot day and made everyone miserable.

An upstairs window at the Lupin residence was thrust open in an attempt to catch even the most flitting wind. Cooling charms were simply not enough at times.

Remus was sitting in his bedroom by that open window as his parents idled outside in the shade, putting the last touches on his Arithmancy essay which had taken him three whole days to complete, having been that difficult. It quite surprised him at the time that the teacher still gave them homework for the holidays despite the fact that it was not entirely certain that all of them would continue with her to the NEWT level. When asked, the professor just shrugged and assigned them the essay all the same.

It was like that with every other teacher in the castle.

He was wondering what he should do next and whether he should perhaps go visit his Muggle grandfather whom he had not seen in a while, when a movement at the corner of his eye drew his attention. A slightly scruffy owl, recently into adulthood, made an awkward landing on his windowsill, hooting proudly as it righted itself. He did not recognize it. It was certainly not a school owl, for those would not be caught dead disgracing themselves so. It also was not Sirius' owl or Peter's. It _could_ be James', he surmised, since the Potters had a huge owlery at their home.

Curious, he carefully took the envelope from the owl, offering the animal some owl treats he had in his room for Zephyr, and then sent it on its way, flapping away cheerfully, if a bit excessively.

The envelope was rather heavy, and Remus recognized the handwriting on it almost immediately. Seeing notes written in that selfsame hand for five years made for a rather quick identification. What he did _not_ understand was why Sirius would write so soon after the summer had started. Normally it was at least two weeks before he got the first one, and now it was only a week or so after they had left for the summer. This was definitely not typical of his friend.

There was something else that caught his attention, as well. While usually Sirius' handwriting was an illegible scribble, this time it was clear - and more than that. Remus could plainly see the deep scratches made by a sharpened quill held with too much force. Sirius appeared to be distressed - something which did not bode well in Remus' mind.

More than a little worried, he hastily broke the unmarked seal and opened the letter, which was spread on three sheets of parchment - uncharacteristically long for Sirius. It began abruptly, as though Sirius was merely continuing a conversation.

_"They say we are measured by how we treat those surrounding us. How can you treat everyone equally, though, when you yourself are treated with contempt? I know you understand what I mean. If anyone could understand it is you, your infliction being as it is. I tried to explain it to James, but you know how he is - everything is black and white in Prongs' world. I wonder what the world would come to if he ever notices the shades of grey in-between. I wonder if he will still remain my friend then. I have too much of the darker greys in me - something I know he will find hard to accept. _

_"I couldn't do it, Moony. I couldn't stay there one more day. It was horrible. No. It was far worse than horrible. It was torturous, it was painful, it was… I don't know of any other words that can even come near to describe just how bad it was. I know you said that family is the best thing anyone has and that I should strive to reconcile, but I just couldn't do it. You will never understand how bad it is in there. You can't possibly understand, with your loving family surrounding you night and day._

_"I've finally reached a conclusion. I don't need them. They are not my family. As of last night I am no longer a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. I have most likely been wiped off the family tree just like Andromeda had been, after what I had said. As of last night, I am staying with my true family and my real brother._

_"You asked me sometime this year - less than a month ago, in fact - what I thought was more important - friends or family. You said the answer was crucial and that I had to answer it for myself - no one else could do it for me (no matter how hard Prongs may try). What can I say, Moony? I do believe my actions of last night bespeak the answer quite clearly. While I can guess your own reply to such a question rather accurately, it is opposite of my own. For me, friends _are_ family. You, James and even Peter are more of a family than my biological one ever was. Ever since that day in Hogwarts when James stood up for me against everyone in the Hall he has been my friend, and by extension, so have you._

_"I never told you how difficult it was for me at home because I wanted to at least maintain the illusion that I _had_ a healthy home-life at least at times. I wanted to pretend to be like the rest of you - with your pampering mothers and doting fathers. Only James ever knew what was really going on. I could never hide anything from him, that nosy wanker. None of us can, eh? He's too damn insightful sometimes - unless it concerns Lily…_

_"But I digress, no?_

_"I write this now in order to assure you that I am fine and have not suffered bodily damage for what I had done. I also write this in order to give you the full and true account of what happened - before you receive a possibly warped version from someone else. I can only imagine what an uproar my actions have caused within the darker side of pure-blooded wizarding society. I will be at the very center of every rumour to be circulated in the next couple of months, I warrant._

_"So this is what happened:_

_"The day I got back, Mother came to bring Regulus and I home. I thought it suspicious, since she never did before, opting to send either Father or Bella to do it for her. She was even rather friendly - in a crooked way that is totally her own. She even pecked my cheek, which she hadn't done in _years_ - not ever since first year when I disgraced our family so by becoming a lowly, brainless Gryffindor. I must have looked suspicious, for she dropped the act almost as soon as we entered the house._

_"She told me it was time to make a decision. Her phrasing had so eerily resembled your own when you asked me that question mentioned above that I felt a shiver going through my body. You know I'm not a superstitious bloke, Moony, but I felt as though something very sinister and yet very important was taking place. It felt almost like destiny herself was standing by my side, waiting for me to take the right - or wrong - step. Did you ever feel her like that, Moony? Did you imagine her cold hands touching you, knowing that whatever you do, whatever you say, won't matter, because your fate it already decided?_

_"I assume that you want to know what kind of decision my darling mother decided I should make. I'm getting there, my friend. Just give me time. It was hard enough telling this to James yesterday face to face. I never felt so much of a coward as I did when he stood there, waiting for me to explain why exactly I had come to his home in the middle of the night, sopping wet with only a small bag of possessions with me._

_"Don't look so scandalized, Moony. He didn't press me for an answer. You know James is not as dumb as that. And he _did_ let me answer on my own sweet time despite the fact that I could see how sorely he wanted that answer._

_"Anyway, what my mother said was that it was time for me to decide what it was that I wanted. I was the Black Heir (note the use of the past tense, my friend, and I think you can see where this is going) and as that, there were certain things - certain _obligations_ - that I had to fill. One of them was cutting all ties with James. Moony, I know that it would sound horrible, but if there's one thing - just one thing - which I have to choose to never give up, it is James' friendship. As horrible as it may sound, you being such a close friend, I can live without it. It will be painful and I will regret it every day of my life, but I _will_ be able to live with it. Such is not the case with James. He's the only one I could _never_ cut from my life. He helped me too much and supported me when no one else - not even you - could do so. He's my brother - more than Regulus could ever be._

_"My mother continued rambling on about duties and giving up things. She said that if I follow those instructions then she would forgive me my being sorted into Gryffindor all those years ago. She talked about not dallying with Muggle born and half-bloods, about proper behaviour and grades, but I did not listen much past the part where she said I could never talk with James - and the rest of you - ever again._

_"That was when I blew up._

_"You know I'm not the most stable of people, Remus. You know I can get very nasty when angered. I yelled at her, calling her some horrible names, that though true, one should probably not call one's mother by them._

_"Though I _do_ think that a toothless, whoring hag is a rather accurate description of my dear old mum - wouldn't you agree? I can see you frowning, Moony. Don't think I can't. You're too predictable at times._

_"After that (and after almost drawing my wand on her) we entered a screaming match that continued until she struck me with a silencing charm and coldly told me that I have the night to consider my words - and my decision - and locked me in my room. She did not say what would happen if I chose wrongly. I think it never occurred to her that I will - blood is thicker than water and all that nonsense._

_"It did not take me long to come to a decision, locked in my room as I was. I knew I would rather die than follow all her orders. Too many of my friends are not of pure lineage. So I packed those things that were important to me - several books, presents from the lot of you, a few pictures, a few clothes, some money - took my broom, and jumped out of the window. I also left behind a letter for Mum, telling her exactly what I thought of her and her demented ideas. I imagine she wasn't too pleased when she found it._

_"So now I am at James', being doted upon by his parents, who seem rather happy to have me there. I never felt as loved as I did last night when the Potters took me in and told me that I would never have to go back there - underage or not._

_"That is it from me, Moony. I hope you are well and that the full moon would be easy on you._

_"Sirius."_

Feeling completely and utterly numb, Remus put down the letter. He had never guessed Sirius' life at home was that bad. He knew that he disliked his family and that they disliked him in turn, but he never realized how horrible living at the same home with people who believed in everything you opposed to could be. He felt guilty for never questioning Sirius more thoroughly.

On the other hand, he was extremely thankful that James was there for Sirius, just as he had been there for Remus countless times before. He could not imagine what would have happened, had there been no James Potter in their lives.

For the first time since he had met his friends all those years ago, Remus was truly interested in knowing more about them. He never really knew a lot about Sirius' family. Nothing more than what James had divulged during first year.

…_A nasty business…Bad family, that one is. He is about the third decent person the family produced in centuries, from what I hear...Blood purists - that's what they are. They're completely obsessed with everything to do with keeping wizard blood pure. Rumours say that they would do anything to stop the 'contamination of the race'…_

Now, however, Remus wanted to know more than that. And so he formed a plan. James and Sirius were not the only ones who could be sneaky.

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Early the next morning, Remus told his mother that he was going to Diagon Alley in order to get a book that he had been wanting for a long time. In truth, the name of the book only came up on his research late the night before - or possibly earlier that morning - but she did not need to know that.

Asking him to be careful and floo home at any sign of trouble, his mother agreed, giving him money to get whatever he wanted.

Once at Diagon Alley, he immediately made his way to Flourish and Blotts - the best book store at the biggest wizarding shopping center. He was certain he could get the book he wanted there. There were only very few books the store did not boast to have, and such an important wizarding history book could not be one of them.

It took the store assistant less than two minutes to locate the book Remus specifically wanted. Less than half an hour later, he was already back at home, sitting in his attic, _Pureblood Society Genealogy_ opened at the _Black_ section, under the words _Toujours pur_. It was the newest edition of the book, and so he was not surprised to see Sirius' name at the bottom of the family tree. He wondered if the next year's edition would sport Sirius' name as well. Mostly likely not.

It soon became apparent to him why Sirius had so many difficulties with him family. It started with the family's very adage - Toujours Pur - always pure. The family demanded unconditional purity of blood from everyone who married into it and more than that - from anyone who associated with it. The fact that Sirius was in Gryffindor already put him in a 'polluted' environment, and the fact that one of his best friends was a half-blood and his best of friends was what the most strict and prejudiced pure-bloods called a Muggle Lover, only made it worse.

Then came the fact that every Black to ever try breaking that blood tradition was thrown out - disowned. There were only five Blacks up to date (and Remus guessed that in the next edition it would become six) who had been disowned and wiped off the family tree - one who married a Muggle, one who protected Muggle rights, another who had married into a 'Muggle-loving' family, a squib, and Andromeda - disowned for marrying the man she loved, a Muggle-born.

Reading the history of Sirius' family was fascinating, but also extremely blood-chilling. The Blacks did _everything_ in order to remain pure. There was no question about it. Sirius' parents, Walburga and Orion, were even related since there were no other pure-bloods available when they had come into a marrying age. No wonder Sirius wanted out. Remus would never have been able to live in such a household.

Sirius was a noble, brave person, though perhaps a little erratic and unstable. He was loyal - as proved by the shape his animagus form had taken. He was one of the best friends Remus could have asked for. And he was good. He was too good to be a true Black. He did not have that deep obsession for purity. He only wanted to be himself and have fun.

From what he read in-between the lines of Sirius' letter, Remus knew that the Blacks had almost ruined his friend. They had almost managed to destroy his spirit, the mischievous soul that made Sirius the person he was. It was too horrible to even think about. He also knew that James would need the whole summer to get Sirius back to himself again. And so he decided.

He would not meet with the two that summer. He would meet with Peter and think with him about prank ideas as they did every summer - but neither of them would bother James and Sirius. Sirius would need time to recover from the mental implications of what he had done. It was not every day that you threw behind your entire life.

He had no way of knowing how hard this summer would be - not only for his friend who had to shake away the ties that held him down, but also for the entire Wizarding World.

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It began with a relatively quiet time in terms of Voldemort's sporadic killings. It was about two weeks after July's full moon, when Remus was feeling at his best. He had met with Peter a week before and mentioned to him that perhaps it would be better to leave Sirius and James alone for the time being. They had enough fun by themselves - going to Diagon Alley and on long walks around Remus' house.

He was wondering that morning whether he should floo Peter again, since he had finished all his summer homework and was getting quite bored. His parents were both at work and so he was alone, left to fend for himself.

He was just browsing through his extensive book collection when a late edition of the _Daily Prophet_ arrived by owl. It was almost unheard of - two editions per day. It meant, Remus knew, his eyes wide and his fingers trembling as he unrolled the paper, that something terrible has happened.

It only took one look at the headline at the top of the front page, written in bold, large letters:

_**MASSACRE AT RAVEN'S CREEK**_

Raven's Creek was a small wizarding community at the heart of Birmingham. It mostly consisted of pure of half-blooded families. Many respected witches and wizards lived there.

Reading quickly through the article, Remus felt his stomach clench. Ten different families were attacked - at least one dead in each family. One family lost five, leaving only the mother to mourn her children and husband. The descriptions of the scenes were gory. He could not believe that the editor had allowed such things put into press. There were actual tears in his eyes as he read the heart-wrenching stories. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered whether James or Sirius or even Peter had known any of the victims. It was almost impossible that they had not.

Things only got worse from there on. Every few days a paper came, declaring more and more deaths. It seemed as though the Dark Lord was trying to make his presence well-known, to plant fear in the hearts of all members of the Wizarding World. The killings, which at first were only random and mostly centered on Muggles and Muggle-born, had now spread to encompass the entire community. No one was safe unless they called themselves You-Know-Who's supporters.

And there were many of those. They were called Death Eaters. No one knew how this name sprang into being, or how it spread like fire in a wheat field, but soon everyone was talking about them in hushed voices. Every time Remus ventured, with or without his parents, out of the house and into Diagon Alley, he heard rumours - stories about people who openly declared their loyalty to the Dark Lord and how they would purge the Wizarding World from the stain of the Muggles.

Then came that horrible day, when at around four in the afternoon, a copy of the _Prophet_ arrived, proving that the Dark Lord had gone from a mere threat to a true monster.

_USE OF UNFORGIVABLES AT FERN HILL_

_Aurors coming to the scene after Muggles had alerted the authorities _

_found such carnage as to make the heart revolt,_ writes special

correspondent, Marie Walsh.

_At 18:51 yesterday, a call was accepted at a local Muggle police_

_station in the vicinity of Fern Hill at Liverpool. A panicked Muggle_

_reported of bright lights and screams coming from the house of_

_his neighbours three houses down. As this was a wizarding home,_

_Aurors came to the scene almost as soon as the call had arrived,_

_modifying the memories of the Muggle lawmen as they did._

_What they found may be described as the worst discovery of the_

_century. At the middle of a bloody kitchen, where the bodies of a_

_woman and three children between the ages of five and ten were_

_lying, mutilated and bloodied, stood a man of middle years, with a_

_blood-stained knife in his hands, staring in horror at what was_

_around him. As he was taken away, he said that he could not_

_stop himself from killing them, that there was a voice in his head,_

_fighting him, telling him that this is what he wanted - the death of_

_his family. 'It is possible,' says chief Auror, Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody,_

_'that the Unforgivables have been used here today.'_

No one could believe this was happening. There was no record of an Unforgivable being used ever since the defeat of Grindelwald all those years ago at the hands of Dumbledore. They were forbidden - unforgivable - just as they were aptly named. The use of them could earn you a life sentence at Azkaban. No punishment was severe enough to the one who had used one of the three on a fellow human being.

At Hogwarts, they only studied the Unforgivables at a late stage, but everyone coming from an even partially magic heritage, knew of them:

The Imperius.

The Cruciatus.

The Avada Kedavra.

It was this last one that had made most people shudder and look behind their shoulders in alarm. It was the one Curse from which there was no escape. You could only dodge it and hope for the best. There was no blocking, or stopping, the Killing Curse from doing its work once it hit. And now it was clear. Every death, every killing, in the past few years, could have been done by the Avada Kedavra. All those unexplainably frightened faces of the dead which were reported by the _Prophet_. No one could explain it, because no one bothered to ask those who had fought against Grindelwald.

The Unforgivables were once again loose in the world.

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_MINISTER BAGNOLD CHALLENGES HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED_

_The venerable Minister finally takes action! _Writes Ministry

Affairs Correspondent, Darius Heron.

_In response to the brutal murder of the Garland family last_

_week ,Minister Bagnold has finally addressed the dreaded_

_Dark Lord via the WWN. Tears filling her eyes, our_

_esteemed Minister called for You-Know-Who to stop the_

_killing and leave the Wizarding community in peace._

_'This has gone too far,' said the Minister in her speech. 'I cannot_

_allow you to continue with these monstrous acts that you have_

_chosen to perform on my people. If you do not end these crimes_

_that you have wrought on our world, we would be forced to_

_destroy you. Our best Aurors would be constantly on your_

_trail. Your followers will be detained and put into Azkaban._

_You yourself would be administered the Kiss. Stop your evil_

_now, and I will spare you. Stop now, and you might live!'_

_Current of this moment, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Name has _

_not given an answer to the Minister's challenge._

Sometimes it was a wonder as to how stupid an adult could be, Remus mused as he pushed the paper away in disgust. Minister Bagnold was too blind. She could not make threats anymore. Voldemort had long since made sure he was a constant in the Wizarding World. They needed to act - now, before it was too late. But those politicians never do anything right, and when they _do_ - well, then it is usually too late.

He knew why he was reading the newspaper of course. It was a way of delaying the inevitable.

The inevitable being his OWL results that were patiently waiting by his breakfast plate from the moment he had stepped into the kitchen that morning.

"Well?" his mother asked gently. "Are you ready to check what your marks are?"

"Not really," he said, not looking at the envelope lying by his plate.

"_Remus!_" she protested.

"I know, I know," he mumbled, knowing that both his parents were anxious to see how well he had done. Taking a deep breath, he slit open what he named in his head the doomsday envelope and took out the offending piece of parchment he did not really want to see.

"Well?" his father asked, echoing his mother's question from earlier, after a while when Remus did nothing but stare at the parchment.

"N-not bad," he admitted weakly. Of course, not bad was an understatement. He had not expected to do as well as he did. He had O's in Defence Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Arithmancy, History of Magic and Charms, and E's in all the other subjects, aside of Potions, which was a rather - in his opinion - acceptable A.

His parents, of course, thought that 'not bad' did not quite cover it, and took him out to celebrate. Then again, parents will be parents… But he did not mind. His marks meant that he could take the subjects in which he excelled and which he loved best.

Though there was darkness in the outside world, Remus could not help but feel that things, for him, were starting to look up.

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_YET ANOTHER ATTACK BY HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED_

_Almost as though responding to the Minister's challenge,_

_He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has attacked another upstanding_

_Family, _writes special correspondent, Marie Walsh.

_Last night, after two weeks of relative silence from the Dark Lord_

_and his Death Eaters, a family of eight was attacked in their house_

_and brutally killed, not sparing even the youngest babe._

_If any amongst us had thought that Minister Bagnold's threat had_

_scared the Dark Lord and his minions off, we have now been proved_

_to be sorely mistaken. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is still here, just_

_waiting to destroy everything that we have rebuilt since the fall of_

_Grindelwald in 1945. It is this reporter's opinion, that we are facing_

_a much worse opponent now, than we have twenty years ago._

It was almost time to go to school again and Remus was anxious for the first of September to come. He wanted distractions from what was going on, from all the death and pain.

Sighing, and hoping that things would get better soon, he started packing his belongings. It would be a hard year for everyone - in and out of school. It was futile to hope that none of the deaths had touched students or teachers. There were far too many - familiar names and faces that would never be seen again on this earth.

**My, but this was a much more somber chapter than usual. At first I hadn't meant to have it so… well, _dark_, but things are slowly getting to a head and the Marauders are already starting their sixth year - and we all know what happens _then_.**

**Anyway, in the next chapter: shocks galore! Things that you have all expected to happen a long time ago are actually happening! Lily starts seeing the more human side of her hated Marauders (but only in a very shallow way…) and so much more!**

**Thank you all for bearing with me and my erratic updating schedule!**

**Love you all!**

**-Star of the North**


	21. What Goes Around Comes Around

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** ((inches into the screen carefully)) erm… hi. ((ducks in case of a variety of rotten tomatoes)) Now that I have proven that I have not dropped dead, drowned in the toilet or fallen off the face of the earth… I'M SORRY!

I didn't mean to take this long updating! It just seems as though wherever I turn these days there's more work and more crises to come over and everything just sort of piled over me… I'm a bad writer, I know :(

_But_!

Here's the promised update, coming after so long in waiting…

Enjoy, and please forgive me…

**Chapter Twenty One - What Goes Around Comes Around**

Entering the Marauders' usual compartment on the first day of his sixth year, anxious to see his friends once more, Remus found it empty. Still, there were things strewn around it - a hastily removed cloak, a packet of singed cards and a sketch on a torn piece of parchment - that made it apparent that James had already arrived and was somewhere on the train. The two trunks in the compartment's luggage rack suggested evidence that Sirius was also there, and that most likely the two would appear sooner or later.

Taking a seat, resolved not to go running up and down the train looking for the pair, he found himself wondering how Sirius was. He only had a few letters from them along the summer months and so had no idea whether his friend would still be somewhat traumatized as he had sounded back in July, or if he had gotten over it with James' help.

And so he waited for them, knowing he had been rather early and that it would be still a while before Peter will make an appearance. He was deep into his current reading book when a light cough caught his attention. He had been so engrossed in the book that he did not hear the door opening and announcing the arrival of someone else. He raised his head to see who it was who had disturbed his peace, and immediately felt his eyes widening.

He simply could not help but mouth wordlessly as Sirius and James appeared at the door of their compartment. Due to the unfortunate events of the summer, he did not see either of them for the past two months. In that short period of time, James seemed to have gone through quite a transformation.

The boy, who all through his five previous years at Hogwarts had been teased as short and scrawny, sprouted over the summer to an impressive height of over six feet. When he had said goodbye to him in June, Remus had been taller than him by two inches in the least, and now he found himself having to look up into those familiar hazel eyes. James was almost as tall as Sirius now, and the two looked even more like twins than before, though while Sirius was broad-shouldered, James retained his lean and narrow structure despite his long-awaited growth sprout. He seemed to have adjusted rather well to his new circumstances.

"I think Moony here is rather shocked, Prongs," Sirius said with a smirk. "I suppose I should have warned him… Don't fret, Moony. I was just as shocked when I came by his house on July. Just a week out of school, and he already added a couple inches. Mr. Potter said it was the Potter genes, nothing to do about 'em. Can you even _imagine_ Keira's response when she came by later that week? She was absolutely _flabbergasted_."

Remus, swallowing hard, trying to overcome his shock, was somehow relieved to hear Sirius speaking like this. It was as though the letter Remus had received almost two months ago had never existed, as though his arrival at James' doorstep had not been so controversial and terrible. And despite those rather somber thoughts and his great shock, he still could not help but snigger at the image in his mind of Keira gaping at her cousin, looking like a goldfish taken out of its pond.

"So…" he finally let out. "No more midget jokes, eh?"

"No," James said firmly with a shudder. "No more midget jokes. And if I hear one more of those, I will be sure to pummel the one to make it into the most creative shape I will think of in that particular moment."

Remus believed his friend. James had a very creative mind at his disposal. It would not be wise to test him - especially considering this was a very touchy subject at best. And so, he just grinned at his friend and gestured for him and Sirius to finally take a place.

They spent the short while before Peter came in with Sirius' amused recounting of how in the course of two weeks James' mother had to buy new clothes for him on four different occasions, exasperatedly discovering that each time she did, her errant son grew a couple more inches. When Peter finally arrived, Remus found out just how amusing it was, watching other people see James in his new stature for the first time. Their friend made a very good impression of a hungry goldfish. It took them a while to make him convinced that, no, James did _not_ fall into a cauldron full of Swelling Solution.

They mostly kept to their compartment that ride, despite the fact that Remus had to leave for a short while to attend the traditional Prefect meeting and from time to time to patrol the corridors (though truly, that duty was usually thrust upon the shoulders of the younger, easily impressed, wanting to prove themselves, fifth year Prefects. Of course, to their faces, said Prefects were told this was a very important, crucial duty). Though they would never say it in words, the summer of separation was not something they enjoyed. The ties holding them together were too tight and too important to go through such an experience again. They would never say it, but they all knew it. It _hurt_.

As he entered the compartment for the last time, preparing to change into their robes as heavy rain fell on the train, darkening the skies, it occurred to him.

How would _Lily_ respond to the change in James? He had clearly seen - in his opinion - that his fellow Prefect _did_, in fact, pay careful attention to James, beyond her usual rancour. He wondered if she would be stunned, or if she would flush, internally knowing that she had known it all along. It made him want to smile. He just _knew_ that she would be surprised. Or at least pretend to be.

It did not take him long to find out.

It was almost funny to see Lily's face as James stepped off the train and unto the platform and blew her a kiss in the air. She just stood there, rooted to the spot, not caring that she was being soaked to the bone by the fierce rain that was falling, her eyes wide and disbelieving. Her mouth opened and closed without apparent control, making a fair imitation of a fish. James' new transformation seemed to encourage general fishiness in people. It was all too amusing. Remus wondered why Keira did not bother warning her friend in advance - after all, the brunette girl_ had_ known. A faint suspicion formed in his mind. Was someone trying to play cupid in this state of affairs?

It was now easy to see that Lily had not foreseen this outer change in her main antagonist. And though he would never mentioned it to James, since his friend's head was already big enough as it was, Remus was quite sure that the girl was attracted to James. Immensely so. He saw her blush as James turned away.

It was very cold in the carriage, and Peter especially looked very miserable as he curled even deeper into his heavy cloak.

In attempt to push their mind away from the cold, Remus said, "Hey, Sirius, Peter, you never did settle the debate on what's pulling these things."

"I still stand by my word," Sirius said, happy to think of something else than how cold he felt. "These carriages - whether Peter would face it or not - are being pulled by Cornish Pixies. I swear I saw a glitter there a moment ago."

"Cornish Pixies don't _glitter_," Peter said with an exasperated shake of his head. "I'm telling you, Sirius - as I have been telling you for the past four years - it _can't_ be Cornish Pixies. It's unicorns - that's why they're keeping such a wide berth between carriages - so they won't get pierced on each other's horns."

"This is ridiculous. Unicorns aren't invisible."

"Well, neither are Pixies!"

"Yes, but Pixies have _magic_."

"So do unicorns! Why would they be mentioned in _Fantastic_ _Beasts_ if they're _not_ magical?"

"Because they're fantastic? And besides, unicorns hate the presence of men - they'd run away."

"Hagrid has them tamed. _Or_ they could be baby unicorns. Baby unicorns don't mind the presence of men as much."

"Baby unicorns won't have the strength to pull a carriage full of people. Can you imagine baby unicorns pulling a carriage with Marianne Kirby in it?"

Peter seemed to consider this for a while before replying. "No," he said smartly, "but it could be a few baby unicorns."

"Listen, to pull a carriage with an average number of four people per carriage, the pulling beast has to be as strong as an adult horse. Unicorns are much more delicate than horses, which would suggest _two_ grown unicorns to pull each one. Taking into account that baby unicorns are uncommonly strong, it would take at least _six_ baby unicorns to pull this _one_ carriage. Do you see enough space here for _six_ baby unicorns?" Sirius waved frantically at the space between their carriage and the next. "No? I didn't think so. Therefore-"

"They get distracted easily, don't they?" James whispered to Remus.

Remus chuckled lightly. "Did he actually calculate it, or is he inventing it from the top of his head?"

"Knowing Sirius?"

"Point taken."

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It was not long before the Marauders were seated by the Gryffindor table, prepared for the feast. The sorting went on as usual, the newest members of the Hogwarts student body being their apprehensive selves. It was nothing new, of course, and the four boys had something completely different on their minds. It would soon be time for their usual start-of-term prank, and the teachers would all be on edge. They all knew that the Marauders' traditional victim for this prank was Dumbledore. The Headmaster himself did not seem to mind, but other members of the staff felt that it was demeaning of his stature in the eyes of the younger years.

They always kept a close eye on the four Gryffindors during the feast. They also always failed catching them on time. It was one of the most hilarious things that made the Marauders' year even better. They were never caught in the act, only punished because everyone _knew_ they were responsible.

Despite their impatience for Dumbledore to finally get to his speech, they never failed to enjoy the welcoming feast - particularly Sirius, who had always had a bottomless pit instead of a stomach. And so it was that the last of the food faded from the plates as Sirius was finishing stuffing a whole treacle tart down his throat. He grumbled a little about wanting to try that tasty chocolate éclair again, but brightened up as he noted that Dumbledore was about to begin his speech.

It had to be done with extreme delicacy so as not to attract McGonagall's attention before it was too late. They had agreed, when still on the train that they were not to look at each other or say anything that could give them away. Their decided upon signal was Dumbledore's rising to his feet. It was very tricky, because it needed to be done in unison, and they could not coordinate it without words. Even the slightest moving of lips could be caught by anyone watching, foiling their plans.

It was made extra-hard this year, not only because McGonagall was determined to catch them this time and not just because everyone in the school aside of the first years expected to see what they were up to, but because of James and his transformation. People were _staring_ at the undeclared leader of the Marauders, wondering how on earth they had missed seeing it before, while on the train. While it was very flattering to James, Remus could see that he felt it a nuisance when trying to execute a prank without being noticed. Even Lily and her friends were watching. Well, he surmised, there was always a price to pay for beauty…

But then Dumbledore was rising, and there was no time for further pondering. Fighting his eyeballs to stay fixed on the Headmaster and not wander to the side to meet those of his friends to either side of him, which was very hard, Remus began murmuring the spell with as little lip movement as possible. He could clearly hear his friends doing the same, but hoped that it was only because of his enhanced hearing at this time of the month, with the full moon only a week away.

He could barely see the lavender wisp of light that made its way from underneath the table were his wand was pointed at the Headmaster, but he smiled in relief. He had done it. He could see another lavender wisp meeting with his, condensing it slightly more, and then another and another, the last one only catching up when it was halfway through the space between the Marauders and the staff table.

By the time the ever watchful McGonagall realized what was going on, it was too late to stop it - just like the boys had intended. The lavender beam, still semi-transparent but also bright, hit Dumbledore squarely in the chest. He did not seem to pay attention to it, but the ever-present twinkle in his eyes intensified. At first, when nothing happened, the wary Transfiguration Professor thought that perhaps she was either wrong, or that the spell failed, but almost as soon as her shoulders relaxed, Dumbledore began to _shrink_. And as he shrank, he did not stop talking, but his voice sounded smaller, shriller, higher, until it was a mere squeak of a mouse. By the time the highly inventive spell finished its work, Headmaster Dumbledore was two inches tall, and still speaking to the entire student body, which was torn between shocked silence and hysterical laughter.

McGonagall looked livid, but really, that was too small a price to pay when taking into consideration that she had not managed to stop them.

Again.

It was somewhat later, once the irate and quite frustrated McGonagall crisply informed them that they would be serving detention the next evening and released them to bed, that the four boys congregated in their dorm. Remus, Peter and James could all see that Sirius had become depressed straight after the prank was played, and they were all determined to get to the bottom of the matter.

It was, naturally, James who took the lead in that matter. He was the bluntest of them all bar Sirius and was the closest to the scowling boy.

"What crawled up your arse and died there, Padfoot?" he plainly asked, planting himself in front of the miserable-looking Sirius who was sitting on the edge of his bed, attempting to take off his shoe.

"Huh?" Sirius asked, for the first time realizing his friends were there. He let go of his stubborn shoe, staring past James. "Nothing," he said. "It's nothing."

James snorted. "Yeah, _right_."

"What do you mean 'yeah, right'?" Sirius was immediately on the defensive, his eyes flashing.

"I mean that you're acting like a bloody idiot and that you should get yourself straightened up!" James growled, thumping Sirius on the head.

Sirius stood up suddenly, using his now-small height advantage over James for all he was worth, towering over his friend as much as he could. "You-" he began.

_Oh, dear,_ Remus thought, feeling that perhaps something had happened between the two while he was not looking, but that was almost impossible, considering they had not left his sight ever since they arrived at the Hogsmeade Station platform, and they seemed perfectly amiable at the time. He moved to head any explosion off.

"I think that what Prongs is trying to say here is that you seem depressed, and you weren't like that before McGonagall talked to us. You can't possibly care about what she said! It's just another detention and you practically _love_ getting in trouble!"

Sirius stared at him for a while, as though he had forgotten such a person as Remus had ever existed. Then he sighed and looked at James. "Sorry, mate. I guess I was itching for a fight there."

"That you were," James said forgivingly, now grinning. "We just had to get that bothersome spark out of you. Now, care to tell ol' Prongsie here what's weighing on your mind?"

Taking his seat on the bed back, Sirius looked down at his undone laces, not meeting his friend's eyes. "It's Mum, that's all."

"But…" James mumbled, "you haven't seen her for two months and haven't gotten even a _letter _from her, what can possibly-"

"But that's just _it_, Prongs!" Sirius said vehemently, still not looking up. "It's the fact that she _hasn't_ sent anything that bothers me. I tried keeping it quiet, but it makes me feel so on edge! Why hasn't she sent anything? I can't deal with this silence from her. It's not natural!"

The three other Marauders looked at each other helplessly. They did not quite understand why Sirius was so anxious to hear from his mother.

"Maybe you should consider it a _good_ thing that she hasn't," James suggested. "It could be for the best, after all. Maybe she just intends to ignore you for a while. Try seeing it in a more positive light."

Remus could hear that James doubted his own words. They all got to meet Mrs. Black, and she was not the kind of woman to take to Sirius' flight kindly.

Sirius' posture, however, seemed to mellow a little. "Still, I don't believe my mum would leave me alone like that. It's not _like_ her, Prongs!" he said, pounding on his pillow in frustration. His mood changes had always been abrupt, but Remus thought this was taking it a little too far. The situation with his mother agitated him greatly.

"Merlin, Padfoot. It sounds like you almost _want_ her to send you something vile," James said disbelievingly.

"It's just that I wonder why she hasn't sent me a Howler, or a cursed letter, or something as equally unpleasant as that. It's been two months since I ran away from Grimmauld Place," he tried to explain his reasoning. "Mum doesn't _have_ that kind of patience. She should have brought her revenge on me _weeks_ ago."

"I can't say that I see much sense in it, myself," Remus confessed, deciding to voice his thoughts. "I've only met your mum once and it was enough to show me that she wouldn't take such a thing as her heir escaping her clutches easily."

"I hate to say this, Padfoot," Peter said timidly, "but maybe she has something bigger than that planned? According to what you say, she has a nasty streak in her."

"A nasty streak?" Sirius laughed bitterly. "Try a river of nastiness miles wide."

"Then again, I could be wrong," the small boy admitted, shrugging. "You know your mum best."

"Maybe she decided it was too much trouble, after all," Sirius said in a voice full of hope that did not quite reach his eyes.

"Maybe she did," James said, trying to comfort his friend, though his own dubious expression betrayed his true feelings on the matter. "Maybe she just couldn't have been bothered."

They should have known that nothing was as easy as that.

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At breakfast the next day, the four of them were sitting by the Gryffindor table, happily digging into the rich variety the House Elves had to offer to the residents of Hogwarts, when the morning post arrived, screeching owls swooping over all heads, making the poor first years make the traditional noises of distress and spill juice all over themselves in fright.

Normally, the Marauders as a whole did not expect anything on the first day of school. Peter usually got his first package from home sometimes in the second week, Sirius never got anything, James got his letters punctually every week unless something important had happened, and Remus always sent the first letter home and only then the correspondence with his parents began. That year, however, it was different, and none of them had expected it.

James was the first one to notice the horned owl that came swooping down directly for them. His gasp of alarm informed Remus just before James elbowed Sirius and in a low voice warned him. "Padfoot."

Sirius followed the direction of his friend's gaze, and his face paled considerably, turning sickly white. As the owl dropped the Howler on his bacon, however, he merely pushed it off and continued eating, ignoring the smoking, scarlet envelope. Remus could see his strained expression, and prepared himself to the shouts that were soon to follow. He was not a second too late.

The envelope exploded, catching the attention of almost everyone sitting in the Hall, and Mrs. Black's voice boomed and echoed on the walls and ceiling, magnified tenfold.

"BLOOD TRAITOR! ABOMINATION! SHAME OF MY FLESH! WAS IT NOT ENOUGH THAT YOU CHOSE TO LOITER WITH FILTH AND SCUM! WAS IT NOT ENOUGH TO WALLOW IN THE HOUSE OF BYPRODUCTS OF DIRT AND VILENESS! LOVER OF HALF-BREEDS, MUTANTS AND FREAKS! HOW _DARE_ YOU BEFOUL THE NOBLE AND MOST ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK! YOU ARE NOT ONE OF MY BLOOD! YOU ARE NO LONGER OF THIS FAMILY! YOU ARE NOTHING - _NOTHING_, DO YOU HEAR? NEVER DARKEN MY DOORSTEP AGAIN! YOU LOWLY WRETCHED BOY!"

The Howler then crumbled, leaving only ashes - and the shocked expressions on everyone's faces - as sole testimony that it had ever existed. Everyone - every student and member of staff - stared at the source of those screams, and their victim, who was sitting ramrod straight, his eyes staring at the space in front of him occupied by some poor first year who had never heard a Howler in his life and was in deep trauma, not really seeing the boy.

Remus, removing his hands from his ears, looked at his friend sympathetically, finding it ironic that just the other night he had wondered why his mother's response had not reached him at the Potters'.

Unbidden, the young werewolf's sharp eyes moved to look in the direction of the Slytherin table, finding Regulus sitting there, laughing cruelly at the fate of his older brother. The glint in his eyes told Remus that the younger boy had known this letter would come, and had expected it eagerly. The boy was sitting straight and proud, as befitting the sole heir to the House of Black. Never in his life did Remus want to strangle someone so badly.

Next to him, Sirius breathed deeply. Sadly, Remus realized that only the three of them, Peter, James and himself, knew how much it had cost him to say what he said next.

"Seems like my mum disapproves of some of my latest doings," he said lightly, trying to look amused. So many of those sitting around them bought his façade, his words eliciting appreciative laughter from them. But Remus knew that inside, something in his friend was breaking.

The laughing expression still fixed on his face, Sirius got up, loudly telling his friends that he needed to send a thank-you letter to his mother. James, shaking his head almost imperceptibly at Remus, got up and hurriedly followed him. It was for the best, both Remus and Peter knew. Of the three of them, Sirius would now need James the most. They did not follow.

Once the two boys were gone, Remus' sensitive ears caught a sentence from several seats down the table. He recognized the voice, and tuned his hearing to listen on what they were saying.

"I wonder what that was all about," Lily said in an uncharacteristically worried tone. "It sounded terrible. Have any of you heard anything that might clue us in?"

"Well…" Keira said uncomfortably, and Remus suspected that she knew the whole thing, "the rumours this summer said something about… some very serious problems in the Black Household. It's been… going around the pure-blooded society for quite a while now." The hesitation in her voice told him that she indeed knew more about the matter than what she was letting on, but was reluctant to share it even with her friends.

Unfortunately, even divulging the little she had got her the undivided attention of everyone around her, including the eavesdropping Remus.

Realizing she had gotten herself into a fix, Keira sighed. "I'm not familiar with the exact details of the situation, but as I understand it, Sirius got up one night right at the beginning of summer and just sneaked away from home, leaving almost everything behind. He left no note, no explanation, but everyone in our society knows why he did it. No one speaks of it, though."

"Where did he go?" Haley asked in a small voice, though Remus could see that all four girls guessed at the answer, especially since Keira was aware of the story.

"He arrived at James' at four in the morning, soaking wet and asking to be allowed in. My aunt and uncle have been doting over him since. As though they needed another troublemaker in the house."

"I am willing to bet that this was why his parents kicked him out of the house to begin with," Lily said disdainfully. "They probably got sick to their stomachs with all the shameful things he's doing at Hogwarts."

Her words somehow angered Remus. How dare she speak of these matters as though she knew what she was talking about? Standing up, he coughed to catch the girls' attention. Once he did so, he said, in a scarcely controlled voice, "You have no idea what you're talking about, Evans." It was the first time in almost a year that he had called her by her surname rather than her given one. That, more than anything else, made the redhead listen attentively to him. "You have no idea what kind of home life he had led until this summer - so don't you _dare_ saying such things about him. While I admit he's a troublemaker, he's a good person, and you have no right to assume that his exploits at school are the reason for his break from his family. You have no idea, so just _shut up_ about it. Come on, Wormtail. We should get going."

Without giving the stunned girl a second glance, and with a grumbling Peter in tow, he left the Hall.

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There was no talking to Sirius following this. He put all his efforts into forgetting what had happened. Into forgetting he had ever been a Black. Though Quidditch season had not started yet, he was to be found at the Quidditch pitch more often than not, frequently joined by James who was simply there for company, not speaking. When he was not at the pitch, he threw himself into pranks, coming up with the most outrageous ideas for the coming year. The other three were exceedingly worried. It was as though something broke in their friend's mind, and they were all afraid that he might do something extreme.

And if that was not bad enough, there was Snape to contend with.

As if recognizing the fragile state of mind Sirius was in, the Slytherin used it against him at every turn. If it was by seemingly innocent comments about the importance of blood and family, or if by putting a brotherly arm around a widely smirking Regulus when Sirius was in plain sight, Snape managed to get the brooding Gryffindor each and every time. Each time he did, Remus could see the darkness in his friend growing. It was as though the boy he hardly knew back at the beginning of first year was beginning to reemerge.

At the time it was only whenever Snape was present. Each time he saw Snape strutting about in his vicinity, Sirius began scowling, which would lead to a good hour's brooding. Usually the Marauders could get him cheerful enough in a short time and if that did not work than seeing Keira around always brought a smile to his face, but there were days when Remus wondered what was going on in his friend's head. Every time Sirius' countenance darkened at seeing the Slytherin, Remus started feeling worried at what was going on behind those grey, narrowing eyes.

But then, slowly yet smoothly, their old Sirius started floating back. He started laughing again and the degree of lethalness in his pranks steeply dropped. He talked again like he used to and flirted with girls. He helped James tease Lily continuously and made Peter's life a living hell when the mood struck. By the time the second full moon of the year passed, it was as though nothing had ever happened.

And yet…

There was something which bothered Remus, but he could not exactly put his finger on the source of that discomfort. Perhaps it was that twinkle that appeared in Sirius' eyes when he thought no one was looking. It was not the cheery kind that often graced Dumbledore's blue eyes, but a mad, unstable one - something that made Remus think of those poor people at the permanent ward at St Mungo's. But how can you base a theory over a dubious twinkle? It could be only the way the light caught his eyes.

Perhaps it was the way he behaved whenever Snape was around. Stealthy, with that knowing smirk on his face, as if he knew something the others, and especially Snape, did not. It was not a friendly one, either. It was almost threatening, as if whatever it was that Sirius had in mind would greatly inconvenience the Slytherin.

It troubled Remus a lot, not knowing what was going on. He would have warned James and asked him to keep an eye out - _had_ he known what to look for. But it was too shifty, too uncertain. There was no sense in Sirius' behaviour, nothing to point at as dangerous. But was it not always the case with the black-haired boy? There had always been this unstable element, this unknown in the equation. That thing that made Sirius so dangerous and terrible was he to be loosed.

He had to speak to James.

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"No, I don't think you're crazy," James said slowly when Remus finally managed to corner him without anyone interrupting them. Sirius was somewhere, possibly snogging one of his catches, but at the moment Remus did not bother to care. This was not something Sirius should hear. "He may be my best mate, but even I can admit that something's not right with him. There were times in the past month or so when I could practically see him returning to the way he was in first year."

And with that Remus knew he had an ally. While James would never betray Sirius' trust, he _was_ concerned and could be convinced to do anything that would help his friend in the long run. The problem was that Remus did not quite know what they could do in order to bring it out of Sirius. He was at a dead end.

**Well? What did you think? I hope you're not disappointed after such long a wait… it's more of a filler chapter than anything, really. A way to enhance what is about to happen in a couple of chapters or so. Did you like James' growth spurt? I always imagined it at being sudden and completely unexpected ;)**

**Now that that's said - what will happen next chapter? To be quite honest, I don't really know :) It _will_ have some Sirius/Keira moments, and a lot of Lily being stubborn, not to mention a bit of Snape and the beginning of vengeance taking place…**

**Thank you all for bearing with me and my erratic updating schedule, and special thanks to all those who reviewed!**

**Love you all!**

**-Star of the North**


	22. Growing Up

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Just to let you all know how sorry I am for the lack of updates lately, here's an extra-long chapter for you to enjoy!

Now, the title of this chapter derives from the various aches and pains that usually accompany growing up - hormones, angst, coming face-to-face with death in a way, things that shape us up as we pass adolescence. It is the chapter leading to the Marauders' sixth year catastrophe… a little bit dark, but I think there's also a bit of humour in it, too. I hope you will agree…

Enjoy!

**Chapter Twenty Two - Growing Up**

Slowly the days passed as was their wont.

While Sirius continued to act a little strangely and Remus continued keeping an eye on him, nothing happened to further aggravate the grey-eyed boy. They pranked as usual and actually started enjoying their school year. Nothing of consequence happened at all, until one quiet evening, a few days after Hollowe'en and shortly before November's full moon.

Remus was enjoying a nice game of Chess against Peter (who was losing rather abysmally, which told Remus he was distracted by something), when the portrait hole slammed open with such violence that the werewolf could actually pick up the Fat Lady's shrill sounds of outrage.

"I can't _believe_ this!" James entered the common room, looking about ready to burst, his face red, his eyes wild and his hair all over the place, worse off than usual.

_Ah,_ Remus found himself thinking. _I should have known._

"Can't believe what?" Remus asked, not so much as lifting an eyebrow at his friend's behaviour. James was notorious for being explosive.

"Keira!" James blurted, but added nothing more.

"What about her?" Remus retained his calm. There was no point in being impatient when James was in _that_ mood.

"She's going out with someone!"

Remus stared at James, unable to comprehend what his problem with that particular thing was. After all, he was so used to James pretending to hate his cousin with a passion. "And?" he finally asked, seeing all James was doing was to fume in silence.

"_And?_" James gritted. "And she's too young!"

"She's sixteen, James," Remus said patiently, as though speaking to a toddler. "I warrant she's entitled to have a boyfriend at this point in time." He thought it prudent not to mention that James himself was only a couple of months older than Keira.

"Yes, but-but-but-" the boy flustered, unable to explain what was on his mind, finally compromising for, "but she's _Keira_!"

But she is Keira. Yes, that pretty much summed up James' attitude towards his cousin. She was Keira, and therefore she could not have a boyfriend, despite being sixteen and not at all bad-looking. Remus did not even bother to pay further attention to his friend, returning to the game at hand. Really, it was not any of James' business, who Keira wished to date or not.

When Sirius, who apparently was busy snogging some busty fifth year Ravenclaw for the better part of the afternoon, came back and asked James what was bothering him (in not so polite words), the answer brought a very strange expression to his face.

"Dating someone, you say?" he said calmly, though with that same strange spark in his eyes that had been there for weeks. "And who might that someone be?"

"Edward Clarkson from Hufflepuff," James said sourly. "He's a seventh year."

"I think I know him," Sirius said, his brow creasing. "Kind of tall, brown hair, brown eyes. Can't think what she possibly finds in him."

_As opposed to what she could find in you?_ Remus wondered inwardly, but pretended to concentrate on the game. He was failing - Peter managed to snag two of his pawns, one knight and a castle before he came back to his senses.

He probably should have paid closer attention to the looks exchanged between Sirius and James that night. Had he done so, he probably would have managed talking them again whatever it was they planned. As it were, he failed in his duty to keep his friends in check, but he would only discover this some days later, when he would get back from the Hospital Wing after two days of the subscribed bed rest.

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That month's full moon was exceptionally fun. The werewolf and the three animagi made it past the Hogwarts grounds and into the wilderness beyond, where ruins of Muggle villages, long ago abandoned, be it from fire, flood or war, lay nestled between untamed hills and dark copses of evergreens. Knowing that there could not possibly be any humans nearby, the four allowed themselves to run free and mock-fight each other for all they were worth.

The werewolf had never felt so liberated in his entire accursed existence. He had a pack, the pack was loyal to him, and they were finally able to act as a wild pack would, as strangely assorted as they were.

Remus woke up the next day at the Shrieking Shack with barely a scratch. Madam Pomfrey was incredibly pleased.

As he entered the common room on the evening Pomfrey finally let him out of her sight, he found a heartbreaking scene evolving before him.

A teary Keira was sitting on one of the over-stuffed sofas, surrounded by her friends, who all wore sad or sympathetic expressions on their faces. He hoped no one she knew had died. Knowing they would probably not appreciate it if he would stick his nose in their business, Remus quietly passed them, not looking at them, and made his way to the boys' staircase.

He was already with one foot on the bottom stair when he caught Wren saying, "I just don't understand how he could change his mind so rapidly. Do you think someone coerced him into dumping you?"

The question, meant for the desolate Keira, made Remus freeze in place. Had Keira's boyfriend - whatsisname - Edward Clarkson, dumped her? Last he heard they were happily attached at the hip and quite contented in each other's company. Going up a couple of stairs until he was partially hidden from view, he shamelessly eavesdropped.

"If he is to believed, it was only an act," Keira sniffed, her tears most likely spent. "He said he only thought that he should have a girlfriend for a while at school and that he was tired of pretending. How can he be so cruel?"

"That just doesn't sound like Edward to me," Wren pressed. "We all spent a while with him when the two of you were together. He was ever so attentive."

"I know!" Keira howled. "I know! That's why it caught me so much by surprise!"

Remus did not need to listen any further. He continued his climb to the sixth year dorm, expecting a very certain atmosphere in the room. And indeed, he was not disappointed…

That is to say, he was very disappointed to discover that he was right.

James and Sirius were _grinning_. They were broadly grinning at Remus as he entered. They did not say anything, but Remus did not need them to. For what must have been the first conscious time, he was genuinely disappointed in his two friends.

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The first match of the year was on a rather cloudy day. It was cold, but the occasional dripping did not dissuade the Quidditch-crazed throngs of Hogwarts. Slytherin versus Gryffindor always promised to be an interesting, if not exciting, game.

Though Remus was still slightly upset at Sirius and James and what they most likely did to make Edward Clarkson dump Keira, he did not have the heart not to go to the match, especially seeing as Keira was doing much better, throwing her all into Quidditch and into her Beating. You could almost see her imagining the Bludger to be Clarkson's head.

The teams did not fail to supply what was wanted: Violence. Lots of it. Both teams were good this year, both having worked hard and long since the first month of school in preparation to their usual confrontation. Bludgers flew in air, whistling as they passed with the force of the Beaters' hits; the red Quaffle exchanged hands swiftly, from Slytherin to Gryffindor and back again; the Keepers made wonderful saves, but the Chasers were in superb shape; the Seekers were constantly on each other's tail. It was quick, it was dynamic. It was Hogwarts Quidditch at its best.

Remus thought he had never seen a more finely played match, and, being Sirius' - and more importantly, James' - friend for so long, he had seen more than his fair share of Quidditch. For what may be the first time, he truly realized why his friends loved this game with such a passion.

Both teams were even in their abilities, but someone had to lose. It was three hours into the match, with the drizzle becoming a steady rain, and when the teams were 270-290 in favour of Slytherin after three near-perfect, successive scores by the green-robed team, that the Snitch made its final appearance.

It was very close, but one had to be better than the other. Or, in this particular case, a rather sneaky Gryffindor Captain smoothly flew into the Slytherin Seeker's path, not touching him, but distracting him long enough for it to matter. Though the Slytherin managed to bypass James swiftly, that fraction of a second it took him to get back on course cost Slytherin the victory.

The party at Gryffindor Tower that evening was very loud. There was nothing new about that, but winning the first match of the season always put the lions in a good mood. It lasted well into the night, and for a short while Remus allowed himself to forget all about what troubled him ever since the beginning of the year.

As he slipped into bed, having finally managed, together with a half-disapproving, half-amused Lily, making the entire House forget about their party and go to sleep, he sighed, exhausted. Quidditch was a very tiring thing, no matter if you were a player or merely a bystander.

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At first he was not sure as to what had woken him from his uneasy sleep. The dorm seemed as silent as always after a Quidditch match victory party, the other Marauders exhausted of both playing and partying. Keeping his ears open, he waited to see if whatever it was would come again.

It did not take too long. A moment or two later, moans started coming from the direction of Sirius' bed. Now while this was not something out of the usual lately, especially since his friend was prone to nightmares ever since that Howler from his mother (usually quite ridiculous ones, but Sirius was always offended if they laughed after he told them what he dreamed about during the night), those were not the terrified ones Remus was so familiar with.

Curious about what was plaguing his friend that night, Remus slithered out of bed, trying to make as little noise as possible and neared Sirius on tiptoes.

At first he thought that Sirius only emitted moans, but soon he managed discerning words between the other noises.

"Mmmm…" he could quite clearly hear Sirius mutter in his sleep."Keira…"

_James had better not hear of this…_ Remus thought weakly, knowing that he had unearthed something that may cost Sirius James' friendship if discovered. James, though pretending to hate her, was very protective of his cousin, and as Remus personally suspected - knew, even - that when Keira's boyfriend had broken off their relationship several weeks before was directly to do with James (though Sirius _had_ helped), he dreaded to think what would happen to the friendship shared between the two were James to discover Sirius' feelings.

It was not new to him that Sirius was interested in their classmate. It was, as they say, old news. From the moment Sirius had entered Hogwarts on their third year, it was obvious that he paid much closer attention to Keira than to any of the other girls. Rowena was much more beautiful, Wren pleasant and Haley docile (Lily, of course, was out of bounds), but the former heir to the House of Black had eyes only for James' cousin.

That, of course, did not stop him from dating other girls, but Remus was certain that whenever he did, only one girl was on his mind.

He wondered how James, so sharp-eyed concerning everything else apart of how to act around Lily, could miss Sirius' obvious attraction. Thinking it over, James probably did not. He was just too bright and too protective of Keira to miss this.

The more he thought about it, the more Remus grew convinced: James knew perfectly well about Sirius' feelings. He just chose to ignore them, hoping it would simply go away. I somewhat childish lookout, but if it kept him from dismantling Sirius…

Shaking his head in disbelief, Remus went back to bed. Sometimes growing up was quite a pain…

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"History of Magic has to be the dullest subject I've _ever_ had to sit through," James muttered to his friends as they rather reluctantly made their way down to their least favourite class.

"And it only took you - what? Five years or so to find _that_ out?" Sirius grinned, obviously in a good mood that morning, which Remus attributed more or less to what he had heard during the night. "I'm appalled, Prongs. Deeply and truly appalled."

"Shut it, Padfoot," James said pleasantly. "What was Binns mumbling about last lesson, Moony?"

"Err…" Remus forced his mind to try and recall through the haze of sleep that always attacked him during History what exactly was discussed, or rather, droned about. "Troll Peace Treaties of 1479 to 1484," he finally came up with the answer.

"Aren't those treaties the ones that turned halfway to Troll Peace by Bashing Other Clan-Chiefs Heads In?" James frowned, apparently something having entered his mind during his sleep.

"No," Remus said, on firmer ground here, "those are the 1666 ones that you're talking about. They ended up burning a major part of London, if I'm not very much mistaken."

Sirius' expression at this debate could only be described as sheer horror. "Listen to yourselves!" he choked. "You're discussing _history_!"

The four boys were dragging their feet, growing even more reluctant as they drew nearer Binns' classroom. They wished for the corridor to last forever, but the Laws of Physics do not often work that way, even in the Wizarding World.

Most of the class was already in by the time they slipped through the door and trudged to their seats in the back. Some students were preparing to go back to sleep - no point in staying awake, after all.

"Anyway," Sirius said, crashing into his seat ungracefully, "back to subject we were discussing _before_ Prongs so rudely interrupted me, I was saying how about we do something _big_ next week?"

"Big? Just how - _bloody hell!"_

All four stared wide-eyed as a translucent figure entered the classroom via the blackboard. Naturally, ghosts were not a rare thing at Hogwarts, and more often than not they would drift into a class in full session, merrily waving at the students or - in Peeves' case - causing mayhem. No. The fact that a ghost just drifted into the room did not surprise the students, who were staring with the same expression as the Marauders.

It was the fact that this ghost was the spitting image of their History of Magic teacher, Professor Binns, or, as they soon came to realize once the shock subsided, was truly Professor Binns, their _late_ History of Magic teacher.

"Settle down, settle down," the ghost said as he drifted down to his seat. "Today we're going to learn about…" His voice droned on, and the class, for the first time in the days of Binns as Professor, listened, transfixed, not even one student falling asleep.

It was about twenty minutes later that the spell wore off enough to make Sirius gulp, raise his hand and interrupt Binns' monotone lecture of Codswallop Greene's contribution to the end of the Troll Peace Treaties.

"Yes, Mr. Blast?" Binns wheezed, his memory still as bad as ever.

"Err… Professor? With all due respect - where's your body?"

While this was a wholly tactless question, the entire class was in favour of hearing the answer, but Binns did not relent. "What are you babbling about? Now don't interrupt me again with your silly questions! Now, Greene was…"

"I honestly think he's not aware of his being, well, _dead_," Sirius whispered to the other three.

"I very much doubt that," James said. "How can he _not_ notice?"

"Can you think of a better reason for this answer of his? He obviously didn't understand what I was asking."

James shrugged.

"We'd better let the other teachers know," Remus said. "Dumbledore certainly, and maybe McGonagall."

"Fancy going?" James asked. "I'm afraid McGonagall will think I'm skipping class again and deduct point and give me detention before I so much as let a word out of my mouth."

Nodding, Remus raised his hand. "Professor?"

"-which he- yes, Mr. Lupus?" Binns said, making Remus almost wince visibly.

"May I be excused? I'm not feeling all that well?"

"Not feeling well?"

"Not feeling well at all," Remus said, sounding as pathetic as he could possibly make himself sound.

"I suppose you may," Binns consented. "Be sure to copy notes of all that you will miss."

"Thank you, Professor," he replied, knowing that there will be no one to copy from that lesson, everyone still too shocked to do anything but stare. He then collected his things, giving a meaningful glance to his friend, and left. Seeing as it was closer, he made his way towards McGonagall's classroom.

When he reached the Transfiguration classroom, he knocked firmly on the door. Seconds later, Professor McGonagall opened it, and upon seeing who it was, made a disgruntled sound and called behind her for the students to behave while she was gone. People tended to do as she asked, since they knew she could - and would - punish them severely for misconduct.

It seemed like she was in an exceptionally bad mood that day, and Remus could only imagine what on earth happened with the fourth years to make her so angry. When she bore down on him, she practically grabbed him by the neck of his robes and bodily dragged him along the corridor and to her office, where she slammed him into a chair and sat on her own, glaring at him vehemently. It must have been a _very _bad day for Minerva McGonagall.

"Well?" she demanded impatiently.

"Well, what?" he asked, confused. Who did she think he was?

"Well, which teacher kicked you and the rest of the Marauders out of class and for what reason?" she growled. "Who did you prank _this_ time, Lupin?"

Relaxing, Remus realized that her bad mood made her see him as Remus, the Marauder, and not as Remus, Prefect and usually a very nice boy. "No one send me, Professor. I wasn't kicked out of class. None of us were."

She eyed him, refusing to believe. "Then what are you doing here?"

"I came here on my own accord," he admitted. "You see, we were in History of Magic and Professor Binns entered the classroom-" He hesitated.

"And?" she asked tartly. "I do believe teachers entering into their classrooms is perfectly legitimate."

"-through the blackboard."

McGonagall sat in silence for a moment, her mind apparently processing his words. She finally came to a conclusion. "Through the blackboard?"

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

She drew a deep breath. "Lupin," she said, in the kindest voice she could muster, "I seriously think you've been overdoing it. I understand that with NEWT classes starting this year and all the extra… problems that you have that no other student in Hogwarts had _ever_ had to face, there is a lot of pressure on you. It is only to be expected. So what I suggest is that you go up to the Hospital Wing and tell Poppy to give you a calming draught. It will do you a world of good, and you will feel much less stressed."

"Professor! Please, he _did_ enter through the board! Just - come and see. I swear, if I'm making things up, I'll immediately go up to the Wing and do as you said, but I'm not imagining things!"

She watched him skeptically for a while, but finally nodded. "Very well, Lupin. Let's go."

They walked back to History of Magic classroom. As McGonagall opened the door, Remus stood quietly behind her. As she poked her head inside, he could see her tense. A moment later she shut the door and turned, her face a curious blank mask.

"Lupin?" she said.

"Yes, Professor?"

"I believe I should go and have a word with the Headmaster. What is your next class?"

"Defence, Professor."

"Very well. Then you are dismissed until then. Good day. I trust I will see you in class this afternoon?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Jolly good."

If something made Remus feel slightly strange as he watched her stride off with her face still blank and her fingers twitching, it was this.

_Jolly good, indeed._

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Normally, the passing away of a Hogwarts professor would have been accompanied by a dignified funeral and all the proper farewells, but in this case no one seemed to know what to do with Professor Binns.

While his body was finally located by the staffroom fire where he had fallen asleep the night before, it was undeniable that, in essence, he was still there, dead and kicking, and entirely determined to continue teaching the students of Hogwarts their History of Magic.

Dumbledore seemed to find it amusing.

The staff - and the students who were rapidly realizing that the most boring teacher in Hogwarts' history was quite dead and quite able to continue teaching for all of eternity or until Hogwarts ended, whichever came first - found it less so.

And so the Headmaster presided over the most bizarre farewell ceremony ever conducted, with the newly deceased sitting primly beside him, completely failing to understand that it was he that was dead, giggles interrupting Dumbledore's solemn speech, the effect of it completely ruined by the twinkle in his blue eyes.

Soon enough the student body got used to have a ghost amongst the faculty members, and the novelty of seeing Binns drift into class via the blackboard every lesson without fail soon wore off, turning them back to their favourite pastime in his classes, which was to sleep through it without interruption.

Hogwarts students are renowned for the quick adaptation to new situations.

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If only things could continue this way… That was what Remus would think years into the future, when the entire course of his life would be spread in front of him, like an open book. If only they had not pranked Snape that day. If only Snape had never been enough of a fool to goad Sirius. If only Sirius had tighter control of his temper.

The Marauders were walking away from lunch on that fateful day and were just starting to climb the stairs when an incredibly deformed Severus Snape ran after them with his wand drawn, a pair of extra arms shooting out of his back, three noses on his cheeks and brow and various baleful eyes planted on his robes and arms, all malevolently staring at the four boys who were the cause of it all.

_If only they had not pranked Snape._

"I'll get you for this, this time!" he screamed shrilly after them. "I'll get you expelled!"

"Haven't you tried doing that for the past five or so years?" James asked in a bored sort of voice.

_If only James had not taunted him._

"Yeah, I do believe that he's been trying and failing miserably for just that long," Sirius agreed helpfully. "We have the upper hand, Snivelly, always had. Don't you agree, Moony?"

"Quite so," Remus said easily. "He's a failure, that one."

_If only Remus had not cooperated._

"And an ugly one to boot," Peter added nastily, though quite appropriately.

Snape's sallow face turned an interesting shade of purple.

"You have nothing on us, Snivelly," James said coldly. "Never had."

"Oh, haven't I?"

This made Remus suddenly be on guard. Whatever Snape had on them, it must have been bad, for the look in the Slytherin's eyes was calculating, dangerous.

"Did you really think that anyone bought your lame excuse about an ailing relative, Lupin?"

Remus froze in his place, fearing the meaning behind those cruel words. Could Snape have discovered about his lycanthropy? Will he tattle about him to the whole school? The Slytherin's next words may have calmed him somewhat, but they certainly did nothing to dissipate his fears.

"I _know_ Lupin never goes visiting his _sick_ mother," Snape said, spitting each and every word. "I've been following you. I _know_ that you're sneaking off at night on those nights when Lupin's out. I don't know yet why the teachers are playing along, but when I _do_… You will _all_ be expelled, as you should have been _years_ ago!"

"Leave Remus and us be," Sirius gritted, "or we will find a way to get back at you. I swear we will!"

"Oh?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "You want me to start on _your_ secrets, Black?"

_If only Snape had never been enough of a fool to goad Sirius._

Remus could feel Sirius tense beside him.

"Shut it, Snivellus."

Calling Snape by that name might not have been the wisest of Sirius' decisions in life, for the Slytherin's eyes glinted dangerously. "So you _have_ kept it all a secret from your precious _Marauders_, from your darling _Potter_. Did you know your friend was a corrupt little bastard, Potter? Did you know how Dark he is?"

"I warn you, Snape-" Sirius growled.

"Warn ahead, Black. It doesn't change who, or what, you are deep inside, because you will always be that little-"

"SHUT UP!"

_If only Sirius had tighter control of his temper._

"What's the matter, Black?" Snape taunted. "Too afraid to admit that the reason why you were kicked out was that you were too _weak_, too _feeble_ to stick to the right side? The _winning_ side? To cowardly to tell you friends that the only reason why you are by their side now is because you didn't have the _gut_ to go all the way? You were taught everything. You are an expert in the Dark Arts. Did you tell them that until Hogwarts you were the lowliest bootlicker, that you would do everything that was asked of you - that you excelled in how to kill and torture the so-called innocent?

"Did you tell them even half of what you know and can do? Did you tell them how far you were into the Dark side? You are Black to the core, Black - rotten as the rest of us.

"You are a _murderer_."

"Why, you-!" Sirius almost managed to leap at Snape, but James caught hold of him at the last possible moment and restrained him. "I'll - I'll kill you!" he shouted.

"And prove me right?" Snape smirked. "Go ahead. Let's see you try." And with that Slytherin turned his back to the Marauders and walked away, his laughter echoing in the Hall.

As soon as Snape disappeared, Sirius tore out of James' grip and ran across the entrance hall and through the front doors, into the cold outside air.

"Sirius!" James cried frantically and sprinted after their already-disappearing friend.

Remus and Peter were left standing on the staircase, staring after the pair. They were so stunned that neither noticed they had company until they heard a girl's voice saying, "What was that all about?"

Turning, Remus saw Lily standing with an incredulous Haley by her side. The two girls were looking at where Sirius and James had previously stood. He had no way of knowing for how long they had been there, but taking Haley's question into consideration, probably not for too long. Most likely they had not witnessed the whole fight with Snape.

Choosing to think that it was a mere rhetorical question, he did not answer, but turned to Peter instead. "I don't think we'll be seeing them in Transfiguration, do you?"

"Not really," the smaller boy acknowledged. "And probably not in the next class, either. Should we let McGonagall know?"

Remus shrugged. "Probably not. James would be the best one to explain what had happened and I don't want to say something that will make McGonagall disbelieve him. He wouldn't deserve it this time."

Knowing that this was probably the best course of action, the two started walking to Transfiguration, not talking as they did, each of them dwelling on what had come to pass between Sirius and Snape. Remus' feeling that things were getting dangerous, that had been growing for some time now, was blown out of proportion. Sirius was a timed bomb, ticking away, only moments from explosion. Remus really did not fancy being around when _that_ happened.

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Transfiguration began as usual with McGonagall scanning the rows with her sharp eyes. She noted almost immediately that two of the Marauders were not accounted for, but apart of an eyebrow raised somewhat questioningly, to which Remus replied with a shrug, she said nothing. Apparently she meant to get to the bottom of this when the lesson ended, opting not to interrogate him or Peter in front of the whole class. Remus felt very relieved at that, for he himself wanted to know what was going on with James and Sirius.

They were in the middle of the theory part of the lesson, with McGonagall's wand drawing complex diagrams on the board and the professor herself speaking at a rate of what seemed almost like two hundred words a minute, when there was a polite knock on the door, and then a creak as the slightly rusted hinges opened it into a crack.

"Professor?" James' voice interrupted McGonagall's explanation, quiet and polite as always. There was no note of distress in his voice, but Remus knew better than to jump to conclusions just because his friend sounded as always. Feelings were easily disguised with the aristocratic mask of manners taught to each and every pure-blooded witch or wizard since birth.

"Mr. Potter," the Transfiguration teacher said sternly, "you are very late, do you know that?"

"Yes, Professor," he replied in a quiet voice, "but I am not coming to the lesson now, either."

The entire class gasped at this, but McGonagall only frowned and turned to look fully at the uncharacteristically quiet and polite Gryffindor. She was blocking the class' view from where she was standing, and so none of the students sitting in the room could see what passed between them. That was why they were all incredibly shocked when she said, "Very well, Mr. Potter. You may go back to Mr. Black. I will inform your professors that you will not be coming to the rest of your lessons today."

Once again visible to the class, James inclined his head respectfully and disappeared, closing the door behind him.

As soon as McGonagall started talking again, Remus' mind started jumping from one scenario to another, trying to think what one earth was so horrible that the strict Deputy Headmistress herself, renowned for her no-nonsense attitude, allowed his two friends to get away with half a day's worth of classes spent somewhere _other_ than class.

Could Sirius have tried to hurt someone? Could he have tried hurting _himself_? Was he angry? Sad? Emotionless? What could possibly be his reaction to Snape's horrible words? Could James stop him from doing something drastic?

Almost as soon as the bell rang, Remus, with Peter close on his heels, sprinted out and started looking for his friends before the next class started. They failed to find them. James actually found them as they made their defeated way to Charms corridor.

"I managed to calm him down a little," he said curtly, as though hurrying to go away. "I just came by to tell you that we'll meet you for dinner, but not before. I'm afraid that he will do something that would be irreversible and I have to talk some sense into him before he gets it into his head to kill Snape or anything. Merlin knows I'd like to have my hands around that little creep's throat, but I can't. He's not thinking straight at the moment. Catch up with you later."

Without another word, the somber leader of the Marauders made his hurried way to wherever it was he managed convincing Sirius to stay for the time being.

When he turned to go into the classroom, his eyes met the brilliantly green ones of Lily Evans. There was something in them that he could not quite decipher. She almost looked confused. Ignoring the expression on her face, he pushed into the room with Peter at his side.

He could see Lily looking at them curiously all throughout the rest of the day. Whenever he turned, she was there, looking, calculating. And slowly, bit by bit, he could see her growing frustration. She did not like not understanding something, and he guessed that what she did not understand now was James.

"I think Evans fancies Prongs," Peter suddenly said in a low whisper under the rustle of students putting things into their bags at the end of the last lesson of the day.

"Oh? What makes you say that?" Remus asked curiously.

"I don't know," the smaller boy shrugged. "It's just a sort of a feeling, you know? I just think she's a little too interested in what he does for her to _completely_ loath him."

As if to give a little more weight to Peter's somewhat unfounded theory, Lily blocked his way when he and Peter made their way out of class for the Great Hall for dinner. Peter, whom she had missed stopped in his tracks, wriggling his eyebrows in question. Remus shook his head and Peter turned to go, though walking very slowly.

"What are Black and Potter up to?" she asked without preamble.

"Up to?" Remus said mildly. "Who said they were _up to_ something?"

"No one!" she snapped. "They're acting completely out of character! All noble and everything! It's not them!"

"That's where you're wrong, Lily," he corrected firmly. "It's completely them. It's not _like_ them - which is an entirely different issue. What they are and how they act are two different things, you know."

Lily stared at him for a moment, eyes wide and torn between confusion and disapproval. He thought that perhaps she did not understand what he said, but her next words crossed that idea out.

"Why does he keep _doing_ that?" she demanded, sounding exasperated.

In all the years he had known her, she never looked so much like a stubborn little child as she did now. He fashioned she was just this side of stamping her foot petulantly.

"He's obviously intelligent," she continued, just as obviously begrudging the fact that such an admission was dragged out of her, "and he's certainly loyal to the lot of you - Black in particular, for whatever reason he has. Then why does he act like such a prat all the time?"

Remus sighed. How could he possibly explain to Lily Evans, the girl who despised the mere mention of James' _name_, the complexity that was one of his best friends? She would dismiss everything he would say as nonsense.

Shaking his head, he gave her a half-smile. "He's just James, Lily. There's nothing more or less to it. He's being himself, and until you learn to accept that - that there is both good and bad in him - in all of us - you will never understand why he keeps doing that. I hope you learn to see it, my friend. I truly do." And with that he left, following Peter's steps in the direction of the Great Hall and dinner, hoping they would find their friends already there.

He was not disappointed. Though Sirius refused to meet the eyes of any of them, he was sitting there, by a stubborn-looking James, whose face was stern and unrelenting. Remus did not know by what means the spectacled boy managed to drag Sirius back into the castle, but, thinking it over, he probably did not want to know.

Sirius was in a particularly bad mood for the rest of that evening. He was not tempted out of it even by his favourite sort of pastry that was served that night (admittedly, the house-elves had no intention of making it that evening, but James could be very persuasive when he wanted to be). He hardly ate anything at all at dinner, in fact, and when Peter commented about this in a jesting manner, all he got was a threatening growl.

His black mood kept right through Remus' homework hour, when James and Sirius customarily played Chess or Exploding Snap, but ended abruptly when Remus put down his quill and timidly suggested that perhaps they should retire early that night. After all, the spent the entire previous night and early morning placing that trap where Snape was most likely to trigger it. Only then did Sirius seem to cheer himself up and that led to them going to bed late again that night, for he insisted on recalling each and every outraged expression that passed on Snape' face earlier that day.

When he finally slipped between his sheets and gratefully shut his eyes, Remus felt relieved that his friend seemed to have snapped out of it. It would have been horrible had Sirius' behaviour lasted a few days as it did in the past. He shuddered to remember those days when Sirius had acted so dark and melancholy.

Soft snoring began filling the quiet room as one by one the boys drifted off. Only one boy stirred in his bed, wide awake, grey eyes staring emptily at the canopy of his four-poster, dark thoughts swirling in his head.

"You wait, Snivellus," Sirius muttered in the blackness of the dorm, unheard by anyone, not even a keen-eared werewolf. "Just you wait…

"_I will have my vengeance_."

**Ta-da-da-duuuuuuuuuuuuuum ((dramtic drumroll))((ominous midnight music)) ((grins)) yes, I know, an evil cliffie, but it was really necessary, as you will see in the next update.**

**Obviously, I can't divulge much about what happens in the next chapter, but… it's finally here… The Snape Incident…**

**Love you all!**

**-Star of the North**


	23. Doomed by the Moon

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Ah… The Snape Incident. It has arrived. I do believe that no other words are needed…

**Chapter Twenty Three - Doomed by the Moon**

The December full moon was approaching.

There was nothing to indicate that this full moon would be any different than those that preceded it. Remus felt weakened as usual and looked horrible, but that was a thing that was to be expected, after so many years of handling the effects of the Bite. There was nothing to point that specific transformation as the one to change everything for the Marauders.

One would generally expect some premonition to warn of such a change, or some sign - a blood-red sky, an eclipse, sudden snow or thunderstorm. But there was nothing to indicate it as unusual. Nothing at all.

Thinking back about the twenty four hours preceding it, many years later, Remus would think that he had been blind to miss the telltale signs that should have shown him what would happen. He would agonize himself over missing the dark looks that Sirius had sent in the direction of the Slytherin table, or the shiftiness of his eyes, that had not met Remus' or James'. He would torment his mind, knowing he had been a fool to miss Peter's edginess.

But that would be years in the future still. At that point in time, he had no way of knowing that in the darkness of Sirius' mind, something unpleasant and wholly cruel emerged, just waiting for the right moment to produce itself.

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"Detention, Mr. Potter."

Four hearts clenched in dread-

"Tonight at seven, in my office."

-and plummeted.

Professor McGonagall did not even seem to spot the intense glares sent her way. Then again, she _was_ McGonagall, and therefore that was only to be expected. It was also to be expected that she will not move the time of the detention for any reason that was less than satisfactory. 'Let me off this time so I can run around with my werewolf friend in my animagus shape on the full moon', certainly was not going to be very satisfactory.

Though he was certain that James was very angry with himself on the inside, Remus was impressed by the way his friend did not so much as let it show on his face. He kept sitting in that same nonchalant way that earned him the admiration of many and the anger of Lily Evans and lazily nodded to let the professor know that he had heard her and that he would be on time - more-or-less - for his detention.

When class ended, however, he sighed and turned to the other Marauders. "I'm sorry," he said, a true note of regret in his voice. "I was being careless. I shouldn't have shot those papers at Banks and Evans."

"What are we going to do, then?" Peter asked in a soft whine. "We can't get out of-" He paused, glancing around to see if anyone was close enough to hear, then lowering his voice, continued, "-out of _there_ if Prongs is not with us. _We_ can't keep him at bay," he nodded at himself and at Sirius.

"Oh, it'll be all right, Wormtail," Sirius said suddenly, smiling. It was a bright smile - one that had not appeared on the boy's face in a very long time. It was almost as though he was once again the carefree boy that the girls of Hogwarts swooned over and whom the boys hated with a passion for his success with the girls. It made Remus feel a little better. Perhaps Sirius was finally learning to get over the hurt that had been caused to him by his family and by Snape.

He returned Sirius' smile and waited for him to continue, for it was clear that he was not done.

"We'll stay with Moony inside until Prongs will finish his detention - and I'm sure that old Jamesie here will butter Minnie up and manage to get out of it sooner than he would have normally - you _know_ he's the only one who can do that, can't you, Jamesie?" Sirius said cheerfully, putting his arm around James' shoulder companionably. "You'll be there in no time and then we can go on with our plans."

"'course, Padfoot," James said, somewhat surprised. There was a momentary crease of his brow, but that cleared before Remus had time enough to try and understand what was going on in his friend's mind. "I'll be there by eight or eight thirty at the most."

"There. See, Wormtail?" Sirius nudged Peter with an even wider grin. "Everything will go as planned!"

Still smiling, Remus suddenly felt a wave of weakness going through him. He knew he should probably head for the Hospital Wing and rest for what was left of the day, but the knowledge that in a few short hours he would be having fun with his friends kept him on his feet. A year ago, such profound weakness so early in the day would have signaled a very bad transformation for him, but these days… he merely gritted his teeth and pushed on.

It was increasingly difficult for him to concentrate in lessons as the day progressed, but he was used to it and so were the teachers, so when they spotted him staring through the window into the distance they only shrugged and ignored it. However, when they noticed Sirius' brightening demeanor, they started keeping a close watch on him and - by association - James.

Remus felt his mood getting better despite the coming moon. For the first time in weeks or maybe even months, he felt that Sirius was going to be all right after all. He just could not understand the strange expression that took over James' face every now and then as he sent a sidelong glance at their friend. Maybe he just could not believe that he was getting his best friend back.

Yes. That was probably it.

As they made their way out of the Great Hall after lunch, Sirius suddenly veered off track. When James called after him, asking where he was going, he said, "I just remembered that I needed to ask someone something!" He gave them a saucy wink that was all they needed to know. The someone he needed to see was a girl, and the something he needed to ask was about a snogging date - when, where and how. It was so typically Sirius.

James waved him off with a snort and together with Remus and Peter turned to go outside and enjoy the short respite from the winter rains.

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It was shortly before moonrise and Madam Pomfrey left.

Remus stretched on the bed in the Shrieking Shack. He still had about half an hour until moonrise. Plenty of time to lie down and think about all the fun they would have tonight. He wondered what his friends had planned for him this time.

The first part of the night would be slow, that he knew, what with James' detention that would last until eight at the least, but after that… What did his friends have in mind this time? Sirius' mention of plans set his imagination aflame. They rarely told him in advance what they had in mind. They always said they wanted it to be a surprise. The Forbidden Forest again? They ventured deeper and deeper into it with every excursion. It was truly a fascinating place - what he remembered of it, anyway.

And then, they had not explored the Forest the month before…

Maybe they would go beyond again? Closer to the mountains, into the pure wild, where non-magical animals roamed? That sounded like a good plan. Perhaps he should suggest it to them when they try thinking of a place to go to the next month. Last month's expedition had been particularly fun.

He was so deep in thought, that he almost did not notice when the first rays of silver light began creeping up the boarded windows.

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Golden eyes opening slowly into a crack, surveying the darkness, then opening fully. They are sharp, no longer encumbered by weak, human sight.

It does not need its eyes to know that the hated silver moon is floating brightly in the skies above. It can feel it in its bones. The curse of the moon is beating in its veins, heating its blood, searing its skin.

Getting up on all fours, it stretches.

Stretching aching limbs and neck, muscles and flesh. Forced shape is starting to relax, become natural, feral.

Familiar pain slowly ebbing away from bones. Not much longer now until it sees it. And there it is.

That hated sliver of silver light filtering through a boarded window, touching its fur with fire, burning its eyes. It would do anything to be able to not see it. The light blinds it, pains it. _Maddens_ it.

Clawed paws scratching on worn wooden floors. Tick-tick-tick-tick. The sound of hardened claws on wood. Tick-tick-tick-tick. So unnatural, so restricting.

A sniff. Nothing comes to its sharp nose. It is unusual. Not even the scent of a rat.

Where are its pack mates? Why were they not there?

Stumbling down a staircase, not bothering to walk gracefully on legs that were never intended to tread such things.

Pause. A smell. It reaches its nostrils, so intoxicating in its stench.

Smell… such a familiar, tempting smell - but what smell? _That_ smell!

Human!

BLOOD!

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Remus woke up the next morning without much recollection of the night before aside of knowing that it had been a bad one. He could not think what would cause it to be this bad again that he could not remember what had happened. In the year or so his friends joined him for the full moon he had rather lucid memories of what they did during their nightly 'adventures'.

Now he could not remember a single thing, and it bothered him.

Straightening in his bed, the all-too-familiar Hospital Wing bed, he winced and had to stifle a slight moan. He felt as though his whole body had been pressed and pulled, stretched and bruised. All his muscles were stiff, and by the sting on the underside of his left leg, he knew he had wounded himself again.

Blinking, he looked around him. He did not trust his throat to make a sound, but desperately needed to catch Madam Pomfrey's attention to get her help. To his surprise, after five years, for the first time Pomfrey was not ready for his moment of awakening. And for the first time, it suddenly struck his mind, the protective curtains did not surround his bed. Something was dreadfully wrong to make Pomfrey forget his privacy issue.

He could see her a few beds away, leaning over a prone figure, lying on another bed. Her posture was one of an exhausted woman, and as she shifted to examine her patient in detail, Remus could see the white sheets under the figure were stained with blood.

He froze.

Had he bitten anyone? Had he escaped his friends' guard and bit someone? Was that why he could not remember a single thing of last night? Had his mind suppressed the memories? It was inconceivable even to consider. This would be the end of his life at Hogwarts. Merlin, it could mean the end of his _life_.

Without noticing, choked sobs escaped his mouth, notifying the mediwitch that he was awake.

Briskly, she walked toward him, her tired face frowning as she noticed his distress. "Why, Mr. Lupin, whatever is the matter?" she asked gently.

"I bit someone last night, didn't I?" he managed, surprised at his own calm voice.

Her expression cleared and then turned into something between a calming face and sadness. "You haven't bitten anyone, Remus," she said softly. "It was a close call, but you didn't. If Mr. Potter hadn't been there…"

Potter?

_What happened last night?_

Sharply looking to the side, he now recognized the still figure on the bed. "James!" he cried out. "What happened to him? What did I do, Madam Pomfrey? Tell me what I did!"

"Mr. Lupin, please calm yourself. I shall call the Headmaster. Inform him that you have woken." With that she disappeared into her office, presumably contacting the Headmaster via her fireplace.

Almost as soon as she did, the Headmaster entered the Wing, his face somber. When he saw Remus' horrified expression, he softened his own features and conjured a chair out of thin air next to the young werewolf's bed, settling there. "How are you feeling this morning, Remus?" he asked gently, his wise eyes surveying the distraught boy with compassion.

"How do you _think_ I'm feeling?" Remus spat bitterly. "I attacked one of my best friends!"

"You did not attack Mr. Potter. Not deliberately, anyway," Dumbledore said in that same, infuriatingly calm voice, but even in his distress, Remus could see that the old man was masking something. He was not as calm as he pretended to be.

"Deliberately, not deliberately - what does it matter? I attacked him, and he could die - or worse, he might be a werewolf for all I know." Only when the words had left his mouth was Remus made aware of what frightened him the most: that the cheery, friendly, courageous James Potter might have been made a monster because of him.

Guessing the source of his distress, Dumbledore shook his head. "I assure you, Remus, that James will not become a werewolf. You have managed a few swipes at him, and he _did_ lose a considerable amount of blood, but for some reason you never bit him."

"What was he doing there, anyway?" Remus said bitterly, though the question he most dearly wanted to ask was, '_what was he doing there out of his Animagus form?_'

"Mr. Potter was there to save another student from death or from that selfsame fate you are so worried about," Dumbledore said in a sad voice. "Mr. Snape had obtained the knowledge of how to get by the Whomping Willow without sustaining injury from a source that is not my duty to tell you of. Mr. Potter had heard of that occurrence just in time and hurried to stop Mr. Snape from trying and discovering your whereabouts during the full moon. He had succeeded in his mission, though was hurt badly."

"Snape…?" Remus said with a hitched voice, fearing what was coming next.

"Mr. Snape," Dumbledore said heavily, "has caught a glimpse of you just before Mr. Potter knocked him unconscious. Upon being enervated, however, I had sworn him to secrecy. He will not say a thing on penalty of memory modification and expulsion."

If Dumbledore's words were meant to calm him, they failed miserably. Remus could not believe that after five years his secret had been exposed by his worst enemy at school. And what made it worse was that Remus had almost gotten him killed, after all the precautions they took. But then… where were the others at that time? Why did they not intercept Snape before he ever got to the tunnel? And why was he still inside the Shack, for that matter? Dumbledore specifically said that Snape had gotten _past_ the Willow…

What was going _on_?

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Remus sat by James' bed. He had been sitting there ever since Madam Pomfrey reluctantly allowed him to get out of bed. He looked so pale, so deathlike that Remus had to reassure himself several times that he was not, in fact, dead. After perceiving that he would not calm down, Madam Pomfrey had told him that a lot of the damage caused to his friend was not actually of his doings.

The fractured ribs, now mended, and the many whip-like wounds, also on the mend, were the handiwork of the Whomping Willow. Apparently James had no branch in sight, and therefore he had dived after Snape, ignoring the pain inflicted on him by the flailing branches. Then there was the concussion and the broken ankle. This had been done to him by Snape, who had been certain that James was trying to play a joke on him again.

The only thing actually inflicted by Remus was the mark of his four claws on James's chest, and while Pomfrey admitted that the scarring may remain for the rest of his life, it was at least fading rapidly and would not cause infection. It was quite miraculous, she said as she walked away, shaking her head in disbelief.

Remus felt as though his entire world was falling to pieces around him. What if Snape would tell someone? Even if Dumbledore erased his memory afterwards and expelled him, the one he told could tell another and then another and then another. Dumbledore could not possible erase the memories of half the school if not the entirety of it…

Could he?

And to make things worse, with James unconscious and the Wing barred to visitors, Remus still had no idea what happened. How did Snape figure out how to get past the Willow? Why had he done so on the full moon? Who was the one Dumbledore mentioned that should tell him what was going on? _Why was James out of his animagus form?_

These questions and more whirled around his mind repeatedly, never resting, never letting him go.

It was around noon that Sirius entered the Wing. He was not wearing his uniform, which was strange, because despite the fact that while _in_ uniform he looked as unkempt as he possibly could, Sirius always wore all parts of his uniform on school days. It was Tuesday, a school day, still almost two weeks to go before Christmas break, and Sirius was wearing Muggle clothes.

This was the first sign that something strange was going on.

And then… Then there was the fact that his best friend was lying, wounded and unconscious on the bed, and though he _did_ look pale and somber, he did not rush to James' side and badger Madam Pomfrey about his status. On the contrary. He seemed almost reluctant to get anywhere _near_ James.

After an agonizingly long time, the tall boy finally came to a stop a couple of steps away from the bed, hovering uncertainly behind Remus' shoulder. "How… how is he?" he asked in a hoarse voice, his hand clutching the hem of his coat, the knuckles whitening.

Remus turned in his chair, frowning. Was Sirius blind or was he simply trying to make conversation. "As well as he can be after nearly being mauled by a werewolf," he said shortly. "Where _were_ you last night, Sirius? How did Snape get past the Willow and past _you_? Where were you this morning? Surely you knew James was hurt! Weren't you _there_? You must have been! Tell me what happened, Sirius!" His voice rose with each question, making them sound almost like accusations. Why was Sirius stalling?

"Remus, I…"

There was something very strange about the way Sirius was _not_ looking at Remus.

A vague unease started making itself known to the pale boy. Sirius was hesitating - and more than that. He was afraid to tell Remus what he knew. It was bad. The happenings of the night before were something that his friend was ashamed of and not at all willing to admit.

"Tell me."

This short, emotionless expression seemed to shock Sirius into talking. Even then, though, he hesitated, stumbling over words, mumbling others, stopping and rephrasing. This was Sirius Black as Remus had never seen before.

"I- I made a mistake, Moony," he said. "I cou-couldn't st-stand it any more. I just don't understand why… why he was so bent on ruining everything that- that I had! If only he - I just don't understand - I wasn't thinking. I was stupid - a downright idiot, Moony!"

A mistake? James had almost been killed by a _mistake_? Remus' unease grew. What had Sirius done?

"James said he would join us right after his detention, do you remember that?" Sirius asked, finally coherent, making Remus a little bit more impatient to hear what it was that Sirius was _not_ telling him and so he nodded furiously.

"Well. I knew that this was the perfect opportunity-" and here Remus knew better than to interrupt with some mundane question such as _the perfect opportunity for what?_ "-and I went to find Snape."

A shiver ran down Remus' spine. Sirius' words sealed the cold suspicion he had until now into hard fact. Sirius had gone to find Snape. Sirius had-

"I told Snape how to get past the Willow."

There it was. The mystery uncovered. But Remus was so numb, he could not even voice the anger that he knew should be broiling inside of him. But how could he give words and emotions to something that he did not even feel? How was one _supposed_ to feel when discovering a trusted friend had betrayed him? And so he did not interrupt Sirius in his monologue, despite knowing he should be shouting.

"When James returned to the common room at around eight to drop his things at the dorm, he found us - Peter and I - sitting there. He asked me what we were doing there. I told him. He just - he stared at me for what seemed like an hour before he tore off out of the room. I wanted to go after him - but I-I just _couldn't_.

"When we left the Hall yesterday at lunch, I saw him alone and it was absolutely perfect - as though opportunity was beaconing to me, telling me that if I didn't do it now, it would never happen. I wanted to kill him, Moony. I wanted him _dead_!"

At last, something came out of Remus' mouth.

"Don't call me that."

"What?" Sirius was startled at suddenly hearing those words.

"I said, don't call me that. Don't call me Moony. You have no right." His voice was so cold and unfriendly that Sirius flinched back as though physically hit.

Then, he said something that Remus would never have expected to hear. "I'm sorry, Remus. I'm an idiot. I know that now. I did something that is practically unforgivable and I'll understand if you want to have nothing to do with me anymore. I just came by to see if James has woken up."

"What's that to you?" Remus grunted. "You almost got him killed."

If previously Sirius looked as though he had been slapped, now it was practically as though he had been dealt a heavy-handed blow. It suddenly occurred to Remus that until that moment Sirius had not fully grasped the possible implications of his moment's anger. The other boy lowered his eyes. Remus thought he could see tears glistening in them before they started staring intently at the floor.

Sirius took a few deep breaths and then looked up again. There was no trace of water now. "I'm to be suspended," he said plainly. "Tomorrow Andy will come get me from Hogsmeade. They wanted it to be immediate, but I asked them if it could wait until James wakes up. I need to talk to him."

"I doubt he'll talk to you," Remus said flatly. "Merlin knows, _I_ don't very much fancy talking to you at the moment."

"I thought as much," Sirius said sadly. "I don't deserve any of you. Snape was right. I'm still a Black, no matter what." And with those words he turned and walked out of the Hospital Wing, leaving Remus feeling just as cold and emotionless as he was when Sirius uttered those horrible words.

What should he feel? Anger? Sadness? Betrayal? He could not believe that he was sitting there, _thinking_ what he should feel. It was not even as though he was trying to sort through his feelings. He just did not feel _anything_.

The thing still most prominent in his mind was that _James could have been killed_. It did not matter to him that Sirius wanted Snape dead - that was not much of a surprise. It was the means to that end that made Remus want (in a very unemotional sort of way) to tear Sirius' throat out. Sirius wanted to use _him_, Remus, in his most vulnerable and unaware form, to end that miscreant's life. Did he even realize that had his plan succeeded, Remus would have been executed as an out-of-control beast? Did he know that when he sent Snape past the Willow?

Of course he did not. Sirius never thought. Always impulsive, always acting before he considered things through. Just like James. But then, James had gone _after_ Snape, to stop him from reaching Remus, which was completely different. It was yet another manifestation of the Other James that appeared every now and then, making Remus reassess his friend over and over again.

James had saved both Remus and Snape from that fatal destiny, proving once and for all that he was a true Gryffindor and that, no matter House, friendships or hatred, the preservation of life was the most sacred value for him amongst a whole myriad of others.

And now he was on the verge of death, and it was all because of Sirius!

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James arrived back at school the week after, looking pale and still taking potions to treat his internal wounds, but on his feet. At the dark glance he sent at the seat Sirius usually filled, Remus was grateful that their 'friend' was not there at the moment. Had he been, Remus doubted that even James' injuries would stop him from attacking Sirius. And the other boy would have welcomed it. James kept refusing to talk to him or even acknowledge him whenever Sirius arrived at the Hospital Wing prior to his suspension. Any reaction out of the bespectacled boy would have been welcomed.

James' anger was so far along that he even refused to say Sirius' name.

No one at the school seemed to understand what was going on. The four boys who had previously been the most tight-knit group in the entire school had suddenly separated without a word of explanation. One was in the Hospital Wing, having been brought, so the rumour said, back from death's door, one suspended for an unspecified period of time, one appearing numb and uncaring and one not knowing what to do anymore.

It was as though the ever-cheerful Marauders had never existed. Sirius was not there, James was silent and did not speak to anyone, Peter was depressed and Remus… well. Remus still could not feel anything.

In fact, it was well into the second week of Sirius' suspension, shortly before Christmas break, that for the first time Remus managed to let out something of what was there, just under the surface, that he thought he could not reach. Surprisingly enough it was Lily Evans who had brought on this change.

The evening before most of the school was about to leave for Christmas, the redheaded Prefect disengaged herself from her friends and came to sit by Remus, who was all by himself, desperately trying to concentrate on his book and failing miserably. He had been doing just that for the past week or so, since James always shut himself in the dorm after classes, closing the drapes surrounding his bed and isolating himself from the world, and Peter, in an attempt to escape the Marauders' situation sat at the library for hours on end, actually putting his all into his studies for a change.

"Hey," she said softly as he looked up to find her beside him.

"Um, hey," he replied hesitatingly. "Did you want something?"

"I…" she looked uncomfortable, but then decided to blurt it all out. "I know that we're not the best of friends and that I've always been at odds with you and Potter and Black and Pettigrew, but… I don't know what happened between the four of you that was bad enough to land Potter at the Wing for more than a week and get Black suspended. What I do know, is that at this time - when- when Voldemort kills people left and right, turns people on their own families, uses the _Unforgivables_, causes dissent and hate within the Wizarding World, kills _Muggles_ - a friendship such as yours… Remus, I've been watching the lot of you from the moment you've become a group of four - the way that despite your pranks and hexing of people who mostly did not deserve it - you always rooted for each other, always helped one another when needed, always made sure no one was left behind - not even Pettigrew who is so far out of his league…

"Remus, whatever was done - is done. I can see you're tormenting yourself over whatever it is. If what Black did was bad enough - and I can tell that Black is responsible, seeing as Potter scowls whenever anyone even mentions him and turns monosyllabic - make him repent, make him pay for it - but for Merlin's sake - don't let him and Potter and through them you and Pettigrew fall apart!"

"Lily," he said softly as she stopped expectantly, "what Sirius did… is nigh unforgivable. You won't be able to understand - please don't think that I am belittling your intellect - far from it. It's just that… there are so many other things involved, so much of our history together - things that you've always dismissed because of your dislike of us. Secrets that none but us can share. I don't know if I can ever forgive Sirius what he's done. And as for James… Sirius almost killed him, Lily. That tends to leave a lasting impression."

She gave him a sympathetic smile. "And still. Remember what I said, Remus. Don't let that friendship slip from between your fingers. If Black loses you - there's no telling what he will become. And besides-" she said, getting up and turning to get back to her friends, "-what would Hogwarts be without the Marauders to prank everything that moves?"

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Following his short conversation with Lily, Remus started realizing that she was right. Sirius' fate was hanging by a thread, which was the friendship he shared with the other three. Though angry, betrayed and somehow saddened, he could not shun the other boy. There was a fine distinction between remembering something forever and keeping a grudge, but he was not one to boil in bitterness. Sirius had lost his trust, that was true, and would have to work hard and long to regain it and mend what he had ruined, but Remus, having been on the other side for so long, could not find it in his heart to renounce their friendship.

Not that he would make it easy on him. Sirius had to understand that only because of Remus' goodwill they could still remain friends. He had to understand that what he had done was more than wrong - that it should have been unforgivable.

He found that he felt much better with the whole ordeal after that.

And so, when Sirius finally came back to school not long after Christmas break, Remus greeted him with a nod, not smiling, not even appearing too friendly, but at least acknowledging his existence.

If only the same could be said about James…

The bespectacled boy had spent his break at home, recuperating from his wounds. Remus had gotten a short letter from him on Christmas Eve, together with his gift. The letter was curtly worded, as though James was really not in the mood for festiveness. Remus had not expected anything else.

When he arrived back at Hogwarts, James no longer limped, but his expression was still somber and dejected as it was when he bid Remus goodbye at the beginning of break. He even failed to respond to the usual jeers with which the Slytherins welcomed him. He did not even notice Snape's intense glare that showed even more hatred than usual.

And he continued to ignore Sirius. It was as though, for him, a boy named Sirius Black had never existed.

"You can't ignore me forever, James!" Sirius ran after his friend's retreating back. It was on his third day back, just before dinner. "Yell at me, hit me, tell me I'm a bastard and an idiot - but don't just pretend I'm not there!"

James continued walking away, his back straight, his book bag slung over one shoulder, ignoring both Sirius and the fact that they were starting to attract a crowd.

Remus could hear a crude, "lovers' spat," sniggered somewhere to his left and glared intensely at the fifth year Hufflepuff who had said that as he and Peter hurried after the two.

"For Merlin's sake, James!" Sirius continued shouting, chasing after the boy, drawing even more attention from all the students and teachers leaving their classes. "I know what I did was horrible! You don't have to rub it in! I know I need to be punished - but not like that! You can't continue acting like I'm not here - just _do_ something already! Clench your fist and hit me, open your mouth and shout yourself hoarse! Do _something_!"

But still James went on.

Finally, in the loudest voice he could muster, Sirius shouted, "James - you're my best friend!"

Only then did James stop. He stood there rigidly, with his back still turned, his fingers clenching and unclenching, as though he was itching to strangle Sirius and be done with it. To Remus it seemed as though the entire crowd held its breath in anticipation.

Remus did not expect James' next words, spoken without even turning around, and by the stricken expression on Sirius' face, neither did he.

James' voice was cold and empty as he spoke, every word deliberate and intended to hit at its exact target.

"You are no friend of mine."

**Eep. I did it again, didn't I? Leave you hanging with a sort of a cliffie… But I only took a week to update this! You should be happy! Maybe I'll do it again next week! Though I must admit that this one was pretty hard to write and I imagine that so will be the next.**

**What did you think about that, huh? I updated on time! Go me! **

**That said - what _will_ we have in the next chapter? What will Sirius do to mend his and James' broken friendship? How would Remus treat him? Is Lily starting to see the Marauders as humans at long last? Will Sirius be forgiven at all? All this and more - in the next chapter!**

**Love you all!**

**-Star of the North**


	24. The Road to Forgiveness

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Okay! Took me two weeks this time, but this was a particularly hard one to write, with all the emotions pressed into it, the angst and the drama, so I hope you can forgive me. This is also a particularly short one, and for that I apologise, but this is as far as it could be stretched. Too much angst never does much good - especially to those poor characters. Especially Sirius.

I hope you will like this, but anyway - let me know if you want to! I promise that the next chapter would be much more cheerful and lighthearted. There will also be more of Lily in it, seeing as this chapter doesn't really feature the poor girl…

Enjoy!

**Chapter Twenty Four - The Road to Forgiveness**

It was two weeks since Sirius returned from his suspension, and still James refused to speak to the boy that was his best friend. His face was cold and he stubbornly averted his eyes every time Sirius approached him, desperate to talk.

Though usually Remus would have taken the role of mediator, this time he had no intention of doing so. He himself was terribly angry at the boy he had thought to be his friend, and so, if Sirius was looking for forgiveness - whether it be from the friend he had betrayed or from the friend whose death he had almost caused - he would have to get it himself.

It was almost as though a hush had gone over Hogwarts. No pranks were played and no laughter rang in the Gryffindor common room in the evenings. James almost always sat by himself, for a change immersed in his studies - something that caused more than one eyebrow to rise in surprise - sometimes accompanied by Remus who felt he had to somehow draw the other boy out of his shell and kept interrupting him with amusing anecdotes and questions that usually would have had him roaring with laughter and now only got a wane smile out of him. Little could get more than that from him at that time. The James Remus knew so well disappeared without a trace.

Remus wanted him back. It was not the same without him. This strange, emotionless James made him shiver with fear.

When he was not sitting with James, Remus was helping Peter in his studies or playing Chess or Exploding Snap against him. His conversation was not very stimulating, but at least Peter was not depressed and quiet. He still laughed, albeit nervously, and was practically Sirius' sole companion now that James ignored his very existence and Remus preferred so speak with him as little as possible.

In fact, it was the first time since the Marauders became a group that Sirius was truly glad that he had Peter.

Secretly, not even admitting it to himself, Remus was thankful for Peter's loyalty as well.

The school was seething with rumours about the Reason behind the Fallout. By the time the first week back from break was over, half the school firmly believed that Sirius had made a pass at someone James was interested in, while the other half scorned it as impossible since _everyone_ knew James Potter only had eyes for Lily Evans, and that the _real_ reason was that Sirius threw the blame of some dreadful prank at James. The rumours only got more exaggerated and unbelievable from that time onwards, making the most fantastic stories about Merlin and other ancient historic characters sound redundant. It got to a point where Remus was getting sick of hearing all those, "I heard that…" that seemed to follow him no matter where he went and with whom.

The Hogwarts rumour network was working fulltime.

What made it worse was that they all seemed to know that Snape had somehow been involved in whatever happened and therefore started pestering _him_ for information, which made Remus incredibly nervous and only too wary whenever he had to get near the Slytherin. Snape, on his side, managed to pass snide remarks, that while not entirely revealing, had his audience had an ounce of creative thought, they would have immediately realized to what he was alluding.

"Done howling with pain, Lupin?"

"Why don't you go worship the moon while you're at it?"

"Go Bite yourself in the arse."

And best of all, "Those Dark Creatures can't be trusted. I'm all in favour of tagging all werewolves and vampires out there," right in Remus' face.

They were lame, to say the least, but Remus lived in constant dread that someone would catch up with their hidden meaning. It really was not good for his health, or for Sirius', since every time _James_ heard Snape uttering such a sentence, he turned murderous eyes at the dark-haired boy. Remus was somewhat touched by this, but despite his own current anger with Sirius, he did not want anything to happen to him.

And all the while Sirius was rapidly fading, changing completely from the carefree spirit he had been known to be. He completely stopped flirting with girls, stopped talking to anyone but Peter, Remus and, occasionally - though he was always ignored or snapped at - James, and stopped eating almost entirely.

The first full moon after break was horrible, with only Peter to keep him company, which was pathetic, because not only could a rat not keep him in check outside the Shack, it was also miserable company by itself, unable to do more than act a toy for the enraged wolf. Remus found himself apologizing profusely to the battered Peter the next day, knowing what the boy must have suffered in order to keep him even mildly tamed.

James had refused going anywhere near the Willow so soon after the Incident, and Sirius… well, Remus did not particularly care to have Sirius around during the full moon. Merlin knows how the werewolf would have acted to his proximity.

Badly, most likely.

Within the second week Sirius already lost considerable weight and even the teachers started noting the great change in him. McGonagall also forced him to go for a checkup to Madam Pomfrey, but the matronly witch came up with no physical reason for Sirius' loss of weight. That did not stop the entire staff from keeping an eye on the boy and turning a blind eye to the fact that he sometimes drifted off in class or turned up late.

They could all see he was not getting enough sleep.

It was truly a sign of how badly things looked to those surrounding the Marauders, when one evening Keira left the side of her friends and quite violently dislodged Remus from his solitary seat by the fire, then dragged him outside of the common room, where, he assumed, she would have no one to witness whatever brutality she meant to use on him. And by the mad glint in her eyes, he guessed it would be quite a bit of that that would soon ensue.

Keira was a tall girl - a characteristic that was shared by both Potters and Palmers - and though she was thin, she was also a Beater, which, in itself, promised a lot of muscle in her wiry arms. It is then not surprising that when she slammed Remus into a wall in a shadowy corridor some distance away from the common room, he emitted a pained squeak. He would never _admit_ to having squeaked, but privately, he would know it to be true.

"What was that for?" he asked indignantly, rubbing his sore shoulder and sounding, for what must have been the first time in his life, like a petulant little boy.

"I want to know what's going on between my dumb cousin and his equally dumb friend, and I want to know it _now_," she growled, her face dangerously close to his. He decided she was particularly scary like this and that preferably he should strive to avoid further disagreements with her. No wonder she and James were always at odds with each other.

"What makes you think _I'd_ know?" he asked stubbornly, acting in a completely un-Remus-like way. Then again, it had been a horrible month for him and he thought it was completely deserved. "If I did, don't you think I would have put a stop to it?"

"I think you know very damn well and that you're just pathetically trying to make me think you don't," she said matter-of-factly, drawing slightly away and loosening her hold on his arms.

"And you'd probably be right," he said, sighing, composing himself once again and acting more like himself. "I know too damn well. But that still doesn't mean that I'm going to tell you."

"Why not?" She seemed very cross, which was understandable, seeing as Remus privately suspected she seriously had something for Sirius and she did not like seeing him changed so.

"Because, quite frankly, it's none of your business."

"He's falling apart, Lupin," Keira said coldly, and there was no mistaking of whom she was speaking. "And if my cousin's too thick-skulled to notice that, then maybe I should go and bang that fat head of his on something hard until he _does_."

"James couldn't care less at the moment, Keira," Remus said slowly. "You could cast an Unforgivable on him right now and he wouldn't even blink, much less go and welcome Sirius back in open arms."

"But that's not like him at all!" she said exasperatedly. "James _knows_ he's Black's best friend - he wouldn't do that to him - he wouldn't watch him going to pieces without doing anything."

"Then maybe you don't know your cousin that well," Remus said, still choosing his words carefully, "or rather, you don't know Sirius that well, which is a little more plausible, considering everything."

"Considering everything?" she asked, confused. "What is going _on_, Lupin? What can be this bad as to make James completely forget their friendship?"

"I can't tell you," he said truthfully. "That would put me in the same position as Sirius. He betrayed a secret to someone who should never have learned it, Keira. That's all I can say. He betrayed something much more important than just a prank or some joke. And worse than that - he hurt James while doing that - physically as well as emotionally."

"He told Snape something, didn't he?"

She was shrewd, he had to give it to her.

"Yes. Please don't interfere, Keira. This is something that needs to be resolved, that much is true - but not by you and not by me. This is something between James and Sirius, and we will leave it at that."

"Even if it kills him?"

A heavy sigh. "Even if it does."

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Remus could no longer remain angry with Sirius.

Perhaps distancing himself had done the trick. He started looking at the Incident with certain detachment that helped keep him sane. He pieced together the parts of the jigsaw that compiled that accursed evening and then surveyed them carefully and clinically, analyzing every part, going through every step, until he thought he knew everything.

The only thing missing was what had happened between the part where James rushed out of the common room and after Snape and the moment of Remus' awakening. He knew everything that went in the background while this was happening - how Sirius went for Dumbledore for help and how Peter alerted Pomfrey that she may have patients very soon, how Sirius had confessed to the Headmaster of what he had done and how Dumbledore made Snape swear not to reveal any of the night's happenings to anyone.

None of them could give him the missing pieces. The only ones who knew what had happened were Snape and James. Remus was not as foolish as to ask Snape, so that left him with one choice only. Ask James.

But James was not telling. James seemed to want to forget that it had ever happened. Not that Remus blamed him, but he _did_ want to know so desperately what had happened.

Did James turn into Prongs after he knocked Snape unconscious, thus getting away with only a scratch to show for it? Or had the friendship, appreciation and love Remus felt for him stopped the maddened, blood-thirsty werewolf from gutting him and making dinner out of the boy? Had he dragged Snape outside all by himself, bleeding? He must have had, since Sirius had said that when Dumbledore finally arrived at the Willow the two were on the ground, both unconscious. Why was he not telling?

Whatever had happened, Remus found that he could no more hate Sirius than he could hate himself. They both had no control of their deeds. Remus because the werewolf took complete control at the smell of a human, and Sirius because he was never taught to control his instincts. They were both named Dark for what they were, but no one took into consideration _who_ they were. They were both condemned from the beginning - Remus for being a werewolf, and Sirius for being a Black. Both accursed and shunned for something they could not control.

And the thing that saved them both - the _person_ who had saved them both - was James. And now James was not speaking to Sirius, and it was breaking the boy, tearing him apart. Remus could completely sympathize. He knew how horrible _he_ would have felt had he been in Sirius' shoes. That said, he knew that something had to be done. Combined with what Keira had said (and his shoulder was still sore to remind him of that), he was determined to try and fix the aching chasm between the two friends as soon as possible. They could not lose Sirius. Not to something like that.

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James was sitting by himself at the dorm when Remus came in, frowning over some Quidditch magazine. Obviously he did not agree with something that was written there. Just as obviously as he did not want to speak with Remus. It appeared that he knew exactly what was coming and decided he did not want it to come after all.

"You're not getting away from me," Remus growled as James pretended to yawn and started picking things for a shower.

"Who's getting away from you?" James said innocently, though his eyes shifted nervously. He _did_ drop his towel, however, and sat back down.

"That's better."

Remus could be nasty when he wanted to. The Marauders knew that side of him better than anyone. James would cooperate - to some extent.

For a while he just sat on his own bed, watching as James fidgeted uncomfortably on his side of the room. His friend did not look well. There were dark patches under his eyes, and the eyes themselves were reddened. He was not sleeping well. His mouth, so easy to laugh, was drawn downwards, and there were lines of worry and anxiety on his face. This had to be done - for Sirius' sake as well as James'. This was destroying both of them - whether James would admit it or not.

"You have to speak with him, James," he finally said quietly. "It's killing him."

"I'm not going to speak with that - that _traitor_!" James shouted, though Remus could hear the pain in his voice and deduced from the quick anger that James did not feel completely blameless himself.

"You don't have to forgive him. But you can't continue ignoring him like that. He sinks deeper and deeper into depression with each passing day. Sirius is a strong person, Prongs, but even he can't handle rejection from those he loves for long. And he _does_ love you - you are his brother by everything but blood! He's made a mistake - a dreadful, almost fatal mistake - but for all that you hold dear! If Sirius is allowed to slip, he _will_ become what Snape said he is. He _will_ become Dark, and our friend will be gone for _ever_. Do you want that to happen, James? Do you truly?"

For a while he thought that James would not reply. The other boy was looking stubbornly at the floor, but his fidgeting fingers gave him away. Forgiving Sirius may be the hardest thing he would ever accomplish, but he just could not allow the Dark have such a good, brave and noble person as their friend, foolish and careless as he may be.

"I _can't_ let it go like that," he finally said with difficulty, his shoulders slumping and his voice tired and defeated. "I just can't. If I forgive him easily, he will see it as though what he did wasn't really that bad and that would give him more than ample reason to act the same way on a different occasion. Maybe next time I won't be back from detention just on time, maybe next time I wouldn't be able to get there in time to save Snape's life. I won't forgive him. Not yet. Not for a while. He would have to earn it. But first…"

"He would have to understand," Remus completed for him.

"Yeah," James said with a somewhat lost expression on his face. "He would have to understand."

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When Remus was a little boy, his parents drilled into him the manners that made him who he was. When he had met James and Sirius, he soon learned that there were _some_ manners and codes that could - and _should_ - sometimes be ignored. For instance, most of the enlightened world would agree that eavesdropping was a bad thing to do. Being a Marauder kind of nullified that sort of thinking. Eavesdropping for a Marauder was just something that came with the job description. It had been very long indeed since Remus felt even the slightest pang of guilt at listening to things he was not really supposed to hear.

This time, not only did he not feel any guilt, he felt a certain urgency that made it impossible for him to ignore his instinct. He _had_ to hear the conversation between Sirius and James. He had a feeling, a sense of forboding that told him that something terrible might happen that night and that he had to be there in order to put a stop to it in case James will not.

The plan was simple enough. Using Peter as a messenger, Sirius was told to wait in a specific spot at a specific time and not move from there until James had arrived. Remus, who had been watching from afar when the message had been delivered, thought he had never seen so much relief in a person's face.

And so midnight found him slinking in and out of the shadows that dotted the Hogwarts corridor, following James at a safe distance, keeping an eye on both him and the dot that was labeled, 'Sirius Black' on the Map. Sirius was already at the designated place, pacing back and forth just a short distance from the statue of the one-eyed witch that marked the entrance to the passage that led into Honeydukes. James was rapidly nearing him. Remus imagined he wanted this done with as soon as possible. James never was one to dawdle.

Quickening his step, but still careful to stick to the shadows and make as little noise as possible, Remus arrived just in time to see James pausing crisply in front of Sirius before he slipped behind the statue, relying on his ears rather than his eyes.

"Sirius," he could hear James say with that hated emotionless voice.

"James," Sirius acknowledged, though Remus could hear his voice cracking.

"I think that we both know why we're here," James continued in that same clipped tone.

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius mumbled.

"And?"

Silence spread between the two. Thick and ominous, awkward and unpleasant. Minutes passed, and still there was not word from either of the boys standing on opposite sides of the corridor, most likely staring at each other. Remus caught his breath unintentionally. He was beginning to see black spots in front of his eyes before someone spoke.

"How could you do it?"

James. Finally voicing that one question that did not let him be as Remus knew only too well.

"How could I-?" Sirius began stuttering. "I… he was… and then I… but I couldn't… and then I did because… he was there…_I_ was there… I never meant this to happen, Prongs!"

"And yet it did."

"And yet it did," Sirius echoed. "I never wanted this. You're my friends. You and Moony and Wormtail. My _family_. I can't… I can't handle this anymore, Prongs. I _need_ you. All my life family meant nothing to me because I didn't know what it was to be loved and appreciated for what I was. I never regarded my parents as more than necessary evil and my brother as something other than a pest. They never loved me nor cared for me beyond what was expected. _You_ are different - you've been more of a family than my real one ever was. I can't go on without you - you must understand that!"

"And you must understand that what you did is not easily forgiven."

"How can you continue sounding so emotionless?!" Sirius cried out. "We've been brothers for so long - how can you just dismiss me like this! You can't give me life just to take it away! You can't give me hope just to snuff it out like this! You can't - you can't _do_ that, James!"

"Who are you to tell me what I can or cannot do?!" James snapped, showing first signs of losing his blank exterior.

"I am you _brother_! In everything but blood!" he said desperately, unknowingly echoing Remus' claim from earlier that day. This, more than anything, Remus later thought, was what made James finally give up his schooled façade.

"You _betrayed_ us, Sirius," the messy-haired boy said, and from his hiding place behind the statue of the one-eyed witch Remus was startled to hear tears in his friend's voice. "You gave away the most important secret of the Marauders. You gave away _Remus_. Do you even understand how terrible what you did is? Did it occur to you when you told Snape how to get past the Willow?"

"James, I-"

The fact that the two did not refer to each other by their nicknames was only one more manifestation of how serious this situation was.

"No, I'm not finished," James said, but his tone was no longer the vehement one he had used when addressing Sirius ever since the boy's return to school. "We _trusted_ you, Sirius. How can we know that this won't happen again? How can we tell that you wouldn't just turn against us at the slightest pretext? For Merlin's sake - you could cause our being turned in and thrown into Azkaban! So many secrets, Sirius! A little slip of the tongue is all it takes. The wrong word to the wrong person - a whisper in the dark. And you would have me trust you after you so blatantly gave us away?"

"But Snape-"

"No matter what Snape said, Sirius, you should have known that you always have the choice. _You_ chose not to use the Dark Arts you apparently mastered. _You_ chose - subconsciously as it may have been - to become a Gryffindor. It's _our_ choices that make us who we are - not what other people _think_ we're made of. And Snape - Snape's an idiot and most likely a Death Eater in training - what has _he_ got against _you_? He's a miserable little slimeball that is being outdone even in his best class at times - doesn't Lily get the better of him half the time during Potions? He's _nothing_."

"I couldn't let him get away with it," Sirius said stubbornly, shaking his head. "He had gone too far."

"Perhaps he had," James said with a sigh, "but that was no reason for you to prove him right. Only those of the Dark use such means to achieve an end. I repeat, Sirius. You betrayed us once. What's to stop you from doing it again?"

"I will never do that again, James," Sirius choked, quite rattled by James' insinuation. "I swear to you. I will never betray our friendship. And just to prove to you-"

Remus could hear him muttering a spell and James' gasp of shock. Wishing he could also see but not just hear, he suddenly caught whiff of something. His entire body froze. Sirius could _not_ have done that. But a werewolf's nose never lies.

He could smell blood.

A wand cluttered to the floor. "My life is yours, James," Sirius said quietly. "I will not make a move to stop this flow. I will not pick that wand up and fix myself up. If you decide that I am not worthy of your trust or your love, then leave me here to die, because I will not make a move to save myself. It's in your hands. Fix me, and I will be forever in your debt. I trust you to do the right choice. I trust you the same I want you to trust me. With your _life_. Like we used to."

Sirius' voice started faltering towards the end and the smell of blood was almost overbearing. By the rate of this change and by the rapidly growing stench, Remus could only imagine how badly Sirius had cut himself. If James would not act soon, Sirius would be doomed. Remus almost made to run behind the statue and stop that nonsense, but something told him that he could not.

Even at the price of Sirius' life.

He heard a body sag to the floor, but soon he also caught the sound of James' voice murmuring something in a very low voice. Then he muttered a cleaning spell in a more audible voice and then said, "I will never let you die, Padfoot. Not even for something like that. You don't deserve that. No one does."

Though James had not uttered one word of forgiveness, it was enough to hear Sirius' nickname falling from his lips to know that while not entirely forgiven, the road was open once more.

**No cliffie this time! Aren't you happy:) Hope you liked it despite the teenage drama and the heavy angst (though I was never particularly good at that).**

**And next chapter? What will Sirius do to finally earn his forgiveness? Will Lily finally be back in the picture? ('course she will - I told you that myself in the A/N above!) Sirius and Keira - any hope at all? And what's that about Sirius stealing drawings from James' notebook again?!**

**All this and more - hopefully next week!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	25. Starting from Scratch

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** I'm terribly sorry for the time it took me to update, but this was one crazy month for me and the weekends were simply not enough _time_. Not to mention that last week, when I was finally about to update - decided _it doesn't want to work. _Wish I had a longer weekend…

I NEED MORE TIME!

Anyhoo, before anything else - about two and a half weeks ago, if I'm not very much mistaken, it was one of my fanfiction friends' birthday, and though I intended on sending her a Happy Birthday message, I failed in doing so, and therefore - consider this a belated birthday present, FizzingWhizbeez! Hope you'll like it :)

And as for the rest of you - thanks for reading as always, and answers to your previous reviews would come later this week - promise!

**Chapter Twenty Five - Starting from Scratch**

While things were not back into shape, they were certainly more positive than before, following Sirius' intentional brush with death. Though James still used only sparse words with Sirius, he did not turn away from him when Sirius politely asked something or commented on something a teacher said. He even allowed the boy to sit with him again at meals, which was a big step, considering everything.

Things were uneasy, of course. They were bound to be after such hard occurrences. Their friendship was too strained, too uncomfortably cracked for it to bounce together again and be as it was. It would take time to heal. But Remus was determined to see things getting back to the way they were - to some extent anyway. He had no doubt that the odds and ends of that betrayal would linger for a long while yet.

Though he did sit by Sirius in most classes, James still preferred to be alone and away from the other boy's company most evenings. He did not think that it would be prudent to spend too much of his free time with him. It was better that way. It allowed things to heal a little more. But Remus knew that if it would continue for too long, then it would only make things worse.

Peter seemed to think that way as well, but, as he said to Remus one day not long after James and Sirius' confrontation, "It's not like James would ever listen to _me_, Moony. He's too damn independent and I'm just too insignificant and have no way of convincing him to act differently. He's only ever listened to Sirius and the two of us know it. There isn't much we can do. They'll have to sort it out on their own. All we can do is to nudge them in the right direction."

And people said Peter Pettigrew was an idiot.

It was a few days after Sirius was given the chance of trying to be forgiven, when Remus was reading quietly by the common room fireplace. It was rather late, and so most of the occupants were sixth and seventh years with the occasional fourth and fifth and one, slightly confused second year that was not entirely certain what she was doing there. James was up in the dorm, most likely already asleep - he had looked dead on his feet after dinner. Remus knew he still was not getting enough sleep. Peter was dozing over an obscure essay next to a table not far from Remus' seat; the girls were sitting in a giggling huddle to one corner, getting glared at by a group of seventh years who were obviously trying to study for an exam of some sort. Sirius was sitting across the grate from him.

He was staring.

Now, Sirius staring at empty space - or at a girl behind one of the Marauders' back - was quite commonplace. Sirius staring at _him_, was not. He tried to ignore him, thinking his friend was absent-minded and did not realize what he was doing, but as minutes passed, he came to realize that the stare was too intent to be that of someone who was daydreaming.

"What is it, Sirius?" he finally said, sighing, accepting the fact that Sirius would not stop staring at him until he acknowledged his presence and let him speak what was on his mind. He was quite aware of the fact that Sirius felt he needed Remus' acceptance before he could even speak each time he wanted a word. It was getting a little ridiculous.

And this _staring_… that was new. There must be something serious on the boy's mind.

With that now ever-present look of relief on his face, Sirius said, "I just realized that I probably owe you a big thank you."

Remus looked at him with a steady gaze, waiting for him to continue.

"You…" Sirius faltered. "James would not have spoken to me that night if it hadn't been for you - I'm sure of that. He would only have done so if you - the person I risked the most during that debacle - would have told him he should do it."

Sighing, he put his book down and looked straight into Sirius' eyes. It always unnerved Sirius when Remus did that for some reason. "It's true that I've spoken to James on your behalf, but it's not me you need to be thanking, Sirius. I suppose that eventually I would have done it on my own accord, but I am still not happy with you, and certainly not happy with what you've done. The fact is, that had Keira not spoken to me and convinced me that you're suffering much more than I had expected, I would not have done so.

"Merlin help me, Sirius, I was _pissed off_. I did not want to see what this separation did to you because I was _angry_. She - and Lily before her - but mainly Keira - maybe because she went so violently about it - convinced me that something had to be done. So it's really Keira to whom you owe that fact that James is starting to relax around you once more - not me."

"Keira?" Sirius looked baffled. "_Keira_ did that? I thought she _hated_ me!"

"Apparently not as much as we thought, eh?" Remus said, allowing himself a friendly smirk. Since James was softening once more, Remus saw no reason to keep a complete distance from Sirius.

A strange expression took over the other boy's face. It was a peculiar mix of dawning of understanding, shock and a half-hearted, answering smirk. But most expressive of the lot, was the small light of hope that appeared in the grey surfaces of Sirius' eyes.

Remus had to hide his smile at that point.

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" Sirius suddenly said, getting up just as abruptly.

"Why, of course," Remus said, knowing exactly where his friend was going.

Crossing the common room with his wide, confident again, strides, Sirius made his way to where the girls were still laughing over something girly. Raising his book just enough to hide the fact that he was watching them, Remus' eyes followed him all the way to the point where he stopped before Keira and quite politely asked for an audience. A _private_ audience.

Keira raised an eyebrow in question at that, but nodded nonetheless. There was no refusing Sirius when he used _that_ tone. It sometimes made Remus want to roll his eyes in exasperation. Even Keira was not immune.

As the two moved away from the other four girls and out of Remus' range of sight (or rather, out of his sight if he wanted not to be too blatant about it), he had to rely on his enhanced hearing. Being a werewolf certainly had its perks.

Once again, there was not even the tiniest twinge of guilt at the thought of eavesdropping. It was getting to be a habit.

It took him a moment to discern Keira and Sirius' voices from the low murmur of older students chatting, but as soon as he had them, he did not let go.

"-don't know how to thank you," he heard Sirius said in a quiet voice.

"About what?" Keira sounded quite baffled and Remus could not tell whether she honestly did not know or was simply feigning ignorance.

There was what could best be described as a hard silence coming from Sirius, which soon made it obvious that the second option was correct, for she sighed loudly and said, "Well, I suppose I do know about that. Don't worry about it. There's nothing to thank."

"It might _seem_ that way to you, but it certainly not _nothing_ to me," Sirius said softly.

"Seriously, Black," she said. "I only had Lupin shake a bit of sense into James. I could see how depressed you were ever since you came back from that suspension of yours."

"Keira," he said, his voice choked, "you _really_ have no idea what you did when you had Remus do that."

Then there was a gasp from Keira as Sirius did something unexpected. Remus wondered what it was. His question was answered almost immediately.

"Let go of my hand, Black!" she said in outrage. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Keira, please. Just listen to me a moment. You don't get it, _do_ you? You just don't get it."

"What don't I get?" She was decidedly unhappy with hearing that.

"That what you did - whether you realize it or not - _saved my life_."

Another silence ensued, in which Keira most likely did not meet Sirius' eyes, or perhaps stared at him with a mouth gaping open. She certainly did not expect hearing _that_ little piece of information.

At length, she spoke. "I think you're slightly touched in the head, Black," she said incredulously. "You would not have died from that. You would have made up in the end. A little bit depressed and fretting, yes, but never dead. You just don't _die_ from having your best friend angry with you. It doesn't happen like that."

"He wouldn't have spoken to me again."

"And you're so sure about that, how?"

"Because when you almost get a person killed, it tends to make them keep their distance. Thanks for listening, Keira, and again, thanks for helping."

With that Remus heard footsteps coming his way again and he hurriedly averted his eyes back to his book before Sirius noticed.

No such luck.

"Had fun hearing all that?" Sirius grunted as he sat back next to him.

"It took a lot of guts, telling the girl you're crushing on that you've almost killed her beloved cousin," Remus said without preamble, not trying to pretend he had not listened.

"That's shit and you know it," Sirius said. "All it took was a moment of vulnerability and flapping tongue. I shouldn't have told her that."

"Bet it got her shocked."

Sirius glanced at the direction he came from and nodded. "Yeah, she's still standing there. I think she's contemplating whether she wants to kill me or not. You _do_ know she'd kill anyone who tried harming James, don't you?"

"Don't everyone aside from Keira and James?"

"Too true."

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About a week later things still had not changed. James remained cold an distant from Sirius, though he did talk to him whenever he was around, no longer ignoring or snapping at him. Though Remus could see Sirius was trying hard to make James see that he kept his word, James apparently was still far from forgiving.

It was only after Sirius had dejectedly left the Great Hall at lunchtime without touching the food that Remus felt compelled to see if he could help. He caught up with his friend somewhere in the fourth floor corridor, where Sirius stopped and sat down wearily.

When he saw Remus was there, he sighed. "Come to cheer me up?"

"In a way. What's on your mind?"

"He still won't forgive me, Moony," Sirius said in defeat, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "He's speaking to me, that's true, but other than that he pretty much ignores my existence. I told him I had a great idea for a prank the other day, and he simply shrugged and went back to his book! That's not my Prongs!" He sighed. "I miss him, Remus. I really do."

"I know you do, Sirius," Remus said, shaking his head. "But you have to understand that James trusted you _completely_. No matter what anyone else said - that you were a Black and naturally bad from the very start - he had faith in you, that you will do that right thing. That you were a good person and that family did not always matter. It's hard to rebuild a broken trust. You have to give him time. That or…" he broke off.

"That or what?" Sirius said, looking up at him, his reddened eyes - whether from tiredness or tears - open wide and staring. There was a sense of urgency in his voice.

"That or… That or do something drastic that would shake him completely and will bring him memories of better times."

"Something… drastic?" Sirius let out with difficulty. But Remus could already see the wheels turning in his head. He could rest assured that Sirius would think of something. He certainly hoped it would bring the old James back. He certainly missed him as well, and found the somber, dejected James of the recent month and more a little dull.

A brief, bright smile came across Sirius' face, and then faded into concentration. "I'll need to give it a little thought," he said quietly. "Thanks, Remus."

Then he got up and walked away with that deep concentration still there.

Remus shrugged with a smile, watching him until he was gone. He knew he could rest assured now. Sirius had always been creative. Now all Remus had to do was watch and see when James would explode.

It did not take long.

The next evening, for the first time in what seemed like forever, the Marauders were all congregated together in their dorm. Peter was working on their latest Defence Against the Dark Arts essay, Remus sat with his book, James was sprawled on his bed, flipping through his sketchbook, possibly looking for inspiration, and Sirius… Sirius was pretending to read one of James' Quidditch magazines. Pretending, for he glanced up at James too many times per minute to actually follow what was going on in the article he was looking at. That made Remus keep a covert eye on James.

He was not disappointed.

James was notorious for remembering each and every one of his drawings and exactly where they were in his sketchbook, which was proven last Christmas when he realized Sirius had taken one. This time was no different. When Remus looked at him again, James was flipping the same two pages over and over again, a deep frown growing on his face. It did not take him long to realize what was going on. His eyes narrowing, he turned to look at Sirius, who was innocently looking back at him from behind the magazine portraying a colourful cover page of the Appleby Arrows.

With a growl, James shot at the other boy with a violence-coiled movement.

There was a wand in his hand.

"I'm missing a page from my sketchbook!" James hissed, holding the wand to Sirius' throat. "What did you do?"

Sirius smirked, ignoring the actual weapon pointed at him. "The Lovely Lady deserves a belated Christmas present, doesn't she?"

"You _didn't_!" James gaped at him, the wand suddenly dangling from his hand harmlessly. "Please tell me you didn't!"

The satisfied grin on Sirius' face was all the answer James needed. With a renewed growl, he launched himself at Sirius and tackled him off the bed and unto the floor.

"Why did you do it?" he demanded furiously, pinning Sirius to the floor and then shaking him by the shoulders. "Why do you always have to do it?! Are you _trying_ to make Lily mock me and hate me even more?"

Sirius let James shake him for a while before he earnestly told him, "You won't actively pursue her since the end of last year, Prongs. Personally, I think you're too scared to ask her out again, but that you're still very much interested. Not doing anything won't help you get the girl - so that's what you've got _me_ for - your ever-lovable, creative and altogether too-smart-for-his-own-good mutt!" He was grinning widely at James by now, daring him to say something.

James' eyes were wide behind their glasses and his mouth dropped open. As Sirius knew only too well, the messy-haired boy had nothing to say to that. Instead he gave Sirius' shoulders one last, half-hearted shake before getting off of him and dazedly sitting down on his bed.

"When did you send it to her?" he asked hollowly.

"Sometime in the afternoon," Sirius said smugly. "You have no way of intercepting it before it gets to her. Don't worry, mate. It's anonymous - just like the last one. Play along and she won't know it's from you until you want her to."

From his spot on his own bed, Peter glanced at Remus with a questioning quirk of his eyebrows. Remus nodded, and Peter slunk out of the room without the two dark-haired boys noticing it, for they were too busy staring at each other, one in shock, the other in anticipation.

Peter was back in moments, his mouth twisted into a painful grimace that could only have been caused by trying to suppress a grin. He nodded at Remus, who cleared his throat and said, "I think the parcel has just arrived."

With a strangled yelp James tore out of room, his eyes wide and his hair flying in every which direction.

"Honestly, I didn't think he'd be _that_ upset," Sirius said in awe as the other three Marauders followed in a more leisurely pace.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, they almost bumped into an unmoving James, who was helplessly looking at the group of girls sitting together, all cooing at a piece of parchment in Lily's hands.

A smirking Sirius nudged James in their direction, carefully steering him nearer in order to see and hear everything.

"Oh, hello, boys!" Haley said cheerfully, waving at the four. "Look at what Lily's gotten for Christmas!"

"Christmas was a while ago, Banks," Sirius said just as cheerfully.

"Well, it _does_ say it's belated. Here, Lily, let them have a look."

Smiling happily, the redhead turned the parchment so they could all see what was on it.

Remus peered over James' slightly trembling shoulder at the drawing Sirius had chosen to give Lily. Like the one she had received the year before, it depicted the redhead by herself. This time, though, aside of the fact that it was that much better than the previous one, she was lounging by the lake, one bare foot just skimming the water, and a book lying forgotten on the grass by her side as she looked at something that could not be seen. The colouring was much richer than the one James had used for the previous picture, fully colouring everything, though still accenting Lily's red hair and green eyes.

"It's extremely beautiful, isn't it?" Keira asked, smirking at her shocked cousin. Apparently, all the girls still could not properly read James. They most likely thought he was jealous of the person who had given Lily the painting. "Did he write anything, Lily?"

"To my Lovely Lady," Lily read with a soft expression on her face, not looking at anything but the picture. "A belated present, for it took me long to think of the most perfect thing I could give. With all my love. Your secret admirer."

"Isn't that absolutely enchanting?" Rowena said softly, putting her hand to her cheek.

"Lovely," James said in a sick tone. "Absolutely _lovely_."

And with that he swept through the portrait hole and out of the common room. He was obviously even more upset than any of them had thought.

"I do believe James is sorry that he's never bothered to learn how to draw," Keira said snidely to Haley and Wren who were sitting by her side, unheard by Lily, but certainly heard by the three Marauders, who immediately turned their backs on them, Sirius and Peter to hide their laughter, and Remus to congratulate himself on correctly reading the girls.

When he turned again, he thought he caught a strange sort of look in Lily's face. She looked almost… wistful.

But in less than a second it was gone, replaced by the haughty expression that always covered her face when she heard someone mentioning James or when the boy was around her. And still… And still it made Remus think; bring back all those times since the day by the lake after OWLs when Lily and James clashed wills. Could he detect anything that could point at Lily softening?

Could Lily Evans, eternal hater of James Potter, feel something other than mild dislike or even hate for his friend?

Remus was ready to wager that she did.

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Though James grumbled a lot about Sirius' actions, Remus soon noted that he was rapidly warming to his best friend again. More than often he would allow a small smile grace his lips at something Sirius had said, or clap the other boy on the shoulder when he executed a small prank directed at McGonagall or various students. It seemed as though he was almost relieved that Sirius' had sent the drawing to Lily.

The fact that he did something so outrageous brought James to his senses in a way, making him see that while Sirius did something awful, underneath he was still the same wonderful friend he had been prior the incident. It was apparent in the way he could finally get a full night's sleep, without lying awake in bed for hours after they had all gone to sleep, and in the way his appetite was back to its healthy self, and even in the way he started suggesting they should do some minor pranks to liven up the mood of the Hogwarts student body.

There was still a tiny bit of distance between the two. Some things just were not that easy to heal. But it changed rather drastically one evening a month or so later, as they were sitting in the common room after a particularly grueling day. James, who had mostly exerted himself to the limits of his strength on the Quidditch pitch, drilling the Gryffindor team before their next match, was slouching on a sofa, his eyes closed and his entire posture that of an exhausted, yet satisfied, man. Sirius, a little less tired, was carelessly scribbling a three-foot-long essay for Flitwick's class the next day and Peter was reading that morning's edition of the _Daily Prophet_, snorting derisively every now and then at something unknown. Remus, as usual, had his nose in a book.

They were all startled out of their restful mood when an owl fluttered through one of the common room's open windows and went straight for them, flapping its wings in each of their faces before settling on the edge of a table next to Peter.

His face showing his surprise, the small boy reached for the letter attached to the owl's leg.

The dark-feathered bird perched patiently on the table as Peter detached the message from its leg. It waited just long enough for the boy to safely remove his hand before taking off again and soaring back through the window and into the night.

Glancing at the writing on the envelope, Peter handed it to Sirius. "It's for you," he said with raised eyebrows. It had been a while since Sirius had last received a letter that was not from Andromeda - and the handwriting on top the envelope was definitely not hers.

Just as curious, Sirius examined the writing, but shook his head. He did not recognize it, either. Carefully he slit it open and removed a thick, folded parchment from the envelope. Sitting to one side of him, Remus glimpsed an elaborate symbol at the top of the page before Sirius turned it away. Obviously, this was not some letter from a friend or relative. It was something quite official, in fact.

Then, a startled gasp that left Sirius' mouth made all three other boys look at him sharply. He stared at the parchment, shaking his head slightly as though refusing to believe what was written there, rereading the words again and again, his eyes growing steadily wider.

"What is it?" Remus asked softly.

"I…" Sirius said, his eyes suddenly blinking furiously, as though trying to not shed tears. "I need to go to London next week." His eyes were now impossibly wide and his face paled considerably. It was as though he had seen a ghost.

"Why's that?" James asked, his voice still a little cold.

"Alphard's dead. I've been summoned to the Reading of the Will next week," Sirius could barely make the words come out of his mouth.

Whatever was left of James' coldness faded almost instantly at this and Remus knew why. James, better than anyone else, knew how close Sirius and Alphard had been. The two and Andromeda were the only three Blacks to ever come to some good. They supported each other through thick and thin and now one of the three was gone. Sirius would need all the support he could get, and James was not about to withdraw any of the comfort he could give because what had happened.

"Oh, Sirius, I'm sorry," he said softly. "When's the Reading?"

So practical. So cold. What was James thinking?

"Tuesday. Half past noon," Sirius said in a strangled tone. He could barely let a word out, choking on unshed tears.

"Well, then," James said briskly. "I'll go and have a word with McGonagall. She'll let you go without any objections, I warrant. You'll go on the Knight Bus at Hogsmeade in the morning and be back the same way when everything's done." Without waiting for Sirius to respond, the lithe, tall boy got up smoothly and walked away, disappearing through the portrait hole.

He did not return for over an hour, and by the time he was back, Sirius had already retired to bed, saying he had a headache. Remus had the feeling he was disappointed in James. He most likely had expected better from his best friend.

"Couldn't you have been friendlier?" Remus asked snappishly as James sat down with a sigh on the same sofa he had occupied an hour before. "And just when I thought how much better things were! You can be such an insensitive prick sometimes; did you know that, James?"

James looked up at him, his hazel eyes tired behind their glasses, but his gaze steady and unwavering. "I just sent an owl to Andromeda, Remus. Asked her if she would be so kind as to meet Sirius at Hogsmeade and go together with him. I don't think it'll be wise to let him go on his own. Merlin only knows what he might do. I also went to ask McGonagall if I could go with him, but she said that she can't make an exception for me, since Alphard was not my relative and had nothing to do with me. I didn't think he would be capable of taking care of all those details in his state, and it had to be done _today_. You know that as well as I do."

It was true. Remus _did_ know that these things had to be done, but he was still irritated at the way James decided to do it.

"I know you think I was wrong to do this like that, Moony," James said softly. "But I can't coddle Sirius at this point - he needs to be alone in order to let his grief run his course. I'd only be in the way if I was to offer comfort. He's not the sort of person to lean on someone else's shoulder and cry when things get tough. He needs to come in terms with Alphard's death before I can tell him how truly sorry I am. He knows that, too. I think he won't begrudge me keeping my distance right now."

Remus had nothing to say to that. James knew Sirius better than anyone in the world. Possibly, as clichéd as it might be, better than Sirius knew himself. Indeed, it was _James_, not Sirius, who had fiercely believed in the goodness of Sirius' heart and soul even before the two became best friends, and though that trust and belief had been broken only a couple of months before, it was just that that made Sirius try and regain James' friendship.

He just hoped that James was right this time as well as when he extended the hand of friendship to Sirius that first time…

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Sirius had gone to London on Tuesday as planned, meeting Andromeda at Hogsmeade and going together with her to the Reading. James was twitchy the entire day. He could barely concentrate on anything. Even the teachers could see it, only they probably attributed it to the fact that James missed his partner-in-crime. In truth, James was anxious to see in what kind of state Sirius would return.

As it turned out, Sirius returned extremely angry.

"I can't _believe_ them!" he shouted the moment he entered the common room that evening, startling everyone sitting there and receiving some strange looks. He glowered at the staring students before James managed to usher him away to the dorm followed by the other two.

"What happened, Padfoot?" James asked as Sirius started pacing back and forth agitatedly. The boy had been completely depressed when he had left that morning. Now he was _livid_.

"Those - those _vultures_ were there! That's what happened!" Sirius let out through clenched teeth. "I was _this_ close to strangling the life out of them when they came in after Andromeda and me!"

"Vultures?" Peter asked, puzzled.

"A carrion-eater," Remus explained placidly, keeping an eye on the fuming Sirius. "Also used to describe someone who is trying to exploit someone when they are grieving - pretending to be sympathetic in order to get what they want."

"I assume you're referring to your… your _family_?" James said quietly, managing to convey precisely what he thought of Sirius' relatives with that single word.

"Yeah," Sirius snarled. "My _family_. Dear old Mum, Uncle Cygnus - and _Bella_. The lawyer was so surprised to see them there - they were not even invited! And they all looked so _smug_ - right until Mr. Stanfield read the Will." There was gleam of satisfaction in his burning eyes.

"Oh?"

"Remember how Alphard was quite filthy rich?" he asked, the gleam in his eyes intensifying. "Well… as it turned out - here, Moony, that's a copy of the Will. Read that underlined part, will you?" He handed Remus a heavy roll of parchment that looked as though it had been roughened.

Gingerly, Remus unrolled it and scanned for the part Sirius spoke of, and then started reading it aloud for James and Peter's benefit. Sirius just closed his eyes as though the words were music to his ears. "'And I hereby declare that not a single Knut of my money will go to a member of the House of Black. They do not deserve it, for their hearts are as black as their name and their souls are even grubbier. They shall never see any of my hard-earned money coming their way.

"'Therefore, I hereby leave my entire fortune - to be divided equally between them - to Andromeda Tonks, my niece, and her family, and to Sirius Black, my nephew. They are the only ones who are worthy of any inheritance from me.' My, Padfoot - that must have hit them hard in the gut," Remus said, staring up at Sirius, while James let out a low whistle and Peter laughed.

"You have no idea," Sirius nodded. "Mum started yelling about inner contradictions - that he was feeble-minded and confused - because he said no Black would see a Knut of the money and yet he gave the money to me. Then Mr. Stanfield delicately reminded her that I had been, in fact, disowned, and that therefore I was no longer considered a Black. So she tried saying that I was not yet of age and therefore a relative should be left in charge of the fortune, disowned or not - which is ridiculous, I must say - and then Andromeda reminded her that I will be turning seventeen in just a little bit, and that since she was my only family, she would be in charge of it until I was of age - that was when Bella decided it would be a good idea to set the room on fire."

They lapsed into silence, until Peter asked, "What did he die of, anyway, Padfoot? I thought he was quite a healthy person - strong as a bull you once said."

Without warning, Sirius' face darkened again. "He was murdered," he said shortly, not elaborating.

"Murdered?" James asked with a raised eyebrow. "You're sure about that? I'd think the papers would have been all over it by now."

"Oh, they made it _look_ as though it was natural - a heart attack, the post mortem examination results said," Sirius said contemptuously. "But he was a very healthy person and he was regularly checked by Healers for any problems!"

"So you say someone staged his death?"

"I'm telling you, Prongs! It wasn't a natural death! Someone _wanted_ Alphard dead - and I bet I know exactly who it was!"

Silently, Remus thought he could give quite a good wager as to who was responsible himself. The fact that three very specific Blacks knew to come to the Reading of the Will despite not being invited raised a lot of suspicion.

"I guess you have a point," James said softly, "but there isn't anything you can do about it. And the fact that Alphard left all his money to his two disowned relatives? Well, I get the feeling he knew your family would try something foul. He made sure they would never get what they want - by giving it to you and to Andromeda. Accept his gift in the spirit it was given, Padfoot. He will be avenged one day. You'll see. You will live to see the lot of them die or suffer for what they've done. You'll see…"

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And so the days passed. Nothing else of consequence happened that year. It was as though the Marauders were wary of straining their recently healed comradeship, and so they refrained from making anything spectacular. Though quite a lot of students commented on how dull things were in the castle without the four Gryffindors causing mayhem, a great portion of the castle residents heaved a sigh of relief as yet another week had passed and no major pranked was played on anyone.

Exam time approached swiftly. It was not the OWLs, and definitely not the NEWTs, but they were still infinitely harder than the ones they had in previous years. As usual, there were dozens of essays to be submitted to the teachers every week and Remus felt as though his nerves were going to betray him and make him completely and utterly crazy.

Which therefore explains why Sirius' comment around Easter was not, in any way whatsoever, helpful.

They were in the library - though why James and Sirius felt they needed to be there since they did nothing but play hangman on a crumpled parchment on which Peter had scribbled various potion ingredients some two hours earlier, and talk loudly, trying to test Madam Pince's limits.

Remus found it hard to concentrate with them making so much noise, but was determined to ignore them. And he managed doing just that quite spectacularly. That is, until Sirius came to a stunning revelation.

"Moony!" he gasped, catching Remus' attention.

"What?" he demanded in an annoyed tone. "I still have two essays to complete for tomorrow."

"Yes, but, _Moony_!"

"_What?_"

"You have grey hairs!"

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To say that Sirius' words had caught him by surprise would have been an understatement. As he sat on a covered toilet in the bathroom just off Charms corridor, Remus tried to get over his shock. He had read once that lycanthropy had the unfortunate side-effect of aging a person far more rapidly than had one not been Bitten. It of course depended on how long you had the Bite, how healthy and strong you were to begin with, how badly you reacted to the Transformation itself, not to mention how much you struggled against it. And yet, he had not expected it to show so early on. True, he had been bitter about a dozen years or so ago, but he was young - just sixteen - how could this have happened?

He could have put it down as genetic early graying, but his family did not have a history of that. His maternal grandfather still had most of his brown hair intact, and he was into his mid-seventies.

No. There was no way to explain it other than that. The lycanthropy had caught up with him.

Taking a thick lock of hair in his hand, he stared at the silver strands twined in the darker, honey ones. Did this mean his lifespan would be shorter than he had the right to expect? Did it mean that soon his hair would be completely grey, that his eyes would become heavy and that wrinkles would cross the skin on his face? Remus had never considered his appearance, never bothered to make himself look attractive as Sirius had and never tried to attract a girl's attention as James did. He was not vain.

He _did_ have a sense of what should and should not be, though. And _this_, this certainly should not be. He was not yet out of his adolescence years. He had the right to expect all the benefits of being young.

He pulled his knees up to his chest, putting his head in his arms and curling up as best he could. He did _not_ want to grow old so soon. Not when he had friends with whom to share his life. Not when he still thought he had some chance at a moderately good future.

Sometimes he really wanted to kill the one who had Bitten him.

Life was just so unfair.

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Again, as though no time had passed, sixth year came to an end. As always, it caught Remus completely by surprise when exams came and went without a hitch and the end-of-year feast came about, bringing with it the traditional Grande Finale of pranks, courtesy of the Marauders, for the entire school to enjoy.

Or suffer. It really depended on what mood the Marauders were in when planning said finale.

Considering that after so many months of awkwardness following Sirius' deed, the Marauders were finally one again, it was not at all surprising that they have decided to make their annual prank more enjoyable than anything else. Of course, that did not mean that the teachers had to approve. Nor did any other residents of the castle needed to.

And that was how they charmed the Hogwarts ghosts into performing a rather colourful pageant for the benefit of the student body, reenacting Romeo and Juliet with Nearly Headless Nick as Juliet and Peeves as Romeo. They also threw a cat into the deal.

The ghosts were not very amused.

Neither was Mr. Filch.

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Sitting in their usual compartment on the train ride back to London, Remus leaned back in his seat and gathered his thoughts. Sixth year had definitely been a challenge, bringing the worst and the best out of his little group of friends. It had made him see that the world was certainly not only made of blacks and whites. It had made him _grow up_.

And yet… here they were, sitting together, their friendship, though it had been strained and even broken, now on the mend, and they were the four of the them. The Marauders.

There was Peter, determinedly trying to beat Sirius in Exploding Snap, though his eyebrows kept getting singed, and there was Sirius, laughing his arse off at the smaller boy while completely missing the fact that the cards in his hand started smoking, and there was James-

Flipping through his sketchbook with growing agitation?

It was really a matter of seconds before James' face grew red and he opened his mouth only to let out an outraged, "SIRIUS!"

Laughing as James chased Sirius out of the compartment, Remus felt as though things were back on course.

Lily would certainly be surprised when an owl would bring her yet another piece from her Secret Admirer…

Sixth year was done, for better of for worse, and after the summer… well. After the summer, they would all be seventh years, they would rule the school - the Marauders' last year would be the greatest and their fame would forever be remembered.

**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand end of sixth year! But more important than that is the fact that we have reached the precise middle of this story! That's right! The story would have twenty five more chapters! And I hope you will enjoy the second half as well as you have the first one!**

**Well… enough exclamation marks for now.**

**What will we have next chapter? The Marauders' last summer vacation, Sirius' new place, quite a bit more of Keira and Sirius, but not much of Lily and James (that would have to wait to chapter after that), and just a little bit of fun planted between all the angst we've been through lately.**

**All this and more - hopefully next week!**

**Hugs and kisses to all - and thank you for bearing with me!**

**-Star of the North**


	26. Padfoot's Doghouse

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Again, it took me a while to update, but take heart - next chapter is ready (almost), and unless something unexpected happens, the story _will_ be updated next week. So again I find myself apologizing, but hoping that you would like this chapter which is mostly harmless fun :)

Enjoy!

**Chapter Twenty Six - Padfoot's Doghouse**

For the first two weeks of summer, nothing much happened. Remus helped his parents around the house and in the garden, did his summer homework and mostly did nothing, taking pleasure in the fact that despite still waking up early in the morning he did not have any pressure on him to get up and start the day. The summer holidays were a treat. For the first month, at least. After that it usually became somewhat dull.

Which was why he was delighted to get a letter from Sirius after two weeks were over. It was a rather thin envelope this time, and the handwriting was his normal, semi-illegible scribble. Hoping it meant that he was invited to Potter Manor, Remus quickly slit it open and unfolded the parchment within.

_"Moony,_

_"No, don't panic. This is not a repeat of the dreary letter I had sent you last year. Nah. Just wanted to invite you to a very special thing:_

_"The grand opening of my very own place! That's right! Your eyes are not deceiving you - I, Sirius Black, am now the proud owner of a very nice - even if I do say so myself - flat. James helped me pick it up and has helped me furnish it and paint it. He did give my choice of colours some weird faces, but what I choose to colour my living space with is none of his business, don't you agree?"_

Remus stopped reading, his eyes widening in horror as he thought of the possible combinations that Sirius could have chosen, left to his own devices. Purple-dotted yellow expanses flashed in his mind, accompanied by teal stripes on an orange background and a few other lurid combinations. Sirius could be dangerous on his own.

He continued reading.

_"So anyway, without further ado, make your way tomorrow afternoon, if you will, to the Muggle neighbourhood of Periwinkle Alley in London, and go to the fifth floor of number 8. Or rather, I'll be waiting for you at the entrance of number 8. Housewarming presents recommended!_

_"See you there!_

_"Padfoot."_

Putting down the letter and smiling to himself, Remus wondered whether it was Alphard's money that had helped Sirius into independent life. While he knew his friend loved living with the Potters, who had doted upon him like a second son, he also knew that Sirius felt guilty at living with them, using their things and eating their food. Buying his own flat, now that he was finally seventeen and able to support himself without someone making him go back to his legal guardians, was that final act that made his life complete.

He would have to wait for his parents to come home before he could ask their permission, but he had no doubt that they would allow it. After all, they knew Sirius and liked him well enough.

And so the next morning found him making his way from the Leaky Cauldron, to which he arrived by floo, down to the nearest Underground station in Muggle London and then back up to an unfamiliar street. His father had drawn a map for him, but Remus was really afraid that he would get lost in the hustle and bustle that was the city.

Finally, though, he spotted the turn to Periwinkle Alley and breathed more freely again. He cursed Sirius for choosing a place without a fireplace. It was really time - and money - consuming, to get to his place. Remus found himself wishing he could Apparate. Apparition made life that much easier.

Looking at the sign on one of the buildings, he saw it was number Thirty Four. While it meant that he was on the right side of the street, it also meant that he came from the wrong end and would have to walk for a while more before he could get to Sirius' place. Sighing, somewhat disgruntled, he started walking again.

He could see Sirius long before he reached the building. He looked completely out of place in the impeccable neighbourhood where respectable families lived - a young man wearing scuffed jeans and a leather jacket and so obviously out of place. He was practically bouncing on the soles of his feet as Remus came down the street. The young werewolf could see that his friend was anxious for him to arrive, and so he quickened his pace.

"Morning, Padfoot," he said, greeting the taller boy. "How long have you been waiting?"

"Long enough," Sirius replied somewhat tetchily, but then grinned. "Come on, you have _got_ to see the flat!" And without waiting to see if Remus followed, he practically ran through the building's door (missing the fact that it almost closed in Remus' face) and leaped up the stairs. Trying to keep up, Remus clambered up the stairs after him, soon completely winded. It was a _long_ climb.

Finally they came to a stop. There were no more stairs. The landing at the top was small, but scrubbed clean. Remus contemplated for a moment dropping on it and regaining his breath for a while. He was not the running type.

"Ta-da!" Sirius called in excitement as he opened the only door on the fifth - and last - floor of the building. "Welcome to my flat, Moony! What do you think?"

Still breathing heavily, Remus cautiously followed his friend through the door. He did not know what to expect, this being _Sirius'_ flat of all people. He half-expected those promised garish colours from Sirius' letter and outlandish furniture. Though he did not find the latter, he was not extremely disappointed. The flat was… eccentric, to say the least, and distinctly Sirius.

The walls of the living space were painted a bright yellow and covered with posters of Quidditch players and long-legged, busty models. The furniture, while not outlandish as Remus had expected, was terribly mismatched, yet looked comfortable. Some of it was very old while some appeared to have been newly bought. There was a wicker table covered with magazines and a random newspaper, a threadbare, purple velvet armchair, a plaid sofa and a strangely shaped standing lamp.

It had a clawed foot.

"That's the living space," Sirius elaborated, grinning. "And through here-" he led Remus through a wide wooden doorframe, "-is the kitchen."

If Remus thought that the previous room was Sirius at both his best and worst, the kitchen had proved him wrong. _This_ was the masterpiece of cheerful horror.

The walls were painted purple and the window frames were blue. The counter was dark grey, which was all right and probably left there by the previous owners, but the dining table was made of bright red plastic and the wooden chairs had an orange-and-green padding. But the horror work of art of the entire room, and thus of the entire flat, was innocently standing to one side, obvious against the wall.

It was a Muggle refrigerator, and it was neon green.

Not allowed to take even a moment to regain his senses, Sirius was already dragging him out of the kitchen and back to the living space, from which a short corridor led into two other rooms - the bathroom (a lurid confection of red tiles, an orange bath and a blue toilet, not to mention the gilded mirror that Sirius proudly explained he had gotten from Andromeda's mother-in-law), and the bedroom.

The bedroom was a mess, and that was all Remus was prepared to think of it at the moment. He wished he had covered his eyes.

Or something.

"So?" Sirius asked proudly as they made their way back to the living space. "What do you think?"

Remus hoped his painful grimace could be mistaken for a smile. "Absolutely fantastic," he said.

"Isn't it?" Sirius said happily. "And James said it was awful."

James had no idea how right he was.

Awful simply was not enough…

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Sirius' flat, or Padfoot's Doghouse as it was soon dubbed - by whom, Remus did not quite remember - became the Marauders' refuge. Though Peter, James and Remus all loved their parents, they all had reasons to want to be alone with their friends. Peter to escape his stern, though over-doting mother, James to escape Keira who seemed to be at his house every other day and sometimes because his parents were away (Remus could see his parents' absences hurt him, but James was not one to complain), and Remus… Remus just wanted to spend some time with his friends.

It was a great place to be away from your parents. Messy, cheerful, always with good things to eat and drink in the fridge, and, most importantly, completely theirs. Sirius had made it clear that though he owned the flat, it belonged to all Marauders.

It was a place where fights should never occur. Which was precisely why, one night when Sirius invited the Marauders to stay over for the night, about a week or so after Remus first came by, he was surprised to hear sounds of a furious, though quietly-kept, fight coming from the kitchen. He had been asleep, but the sounds annoyed him too much. Rising from the improvised mattress on the floor, he noted that while Peter was quietly snoring to one side, James' pile of blankets was empty.

Softly padding closer to the kitchen's opening, he could see a dim light and Sirius and James' voices became clearer, angrier.

"-could have told me!" James snapped.

"Told you what?" Sirius whispered vehemently. "That your cousin's damn hot and I would very much like to get her into bed? For Merlin's sake, Prongs - is that something you'd tell your best friend? That you want to shag his cousin?"

"I wouldn't want to shag one of your cousins if my life depended on it," James said harshly, though not without a trace of humour. "But that's not what we're dealing with here, Padfoot, now is it? For six years you've been flirting with Keira, teasing her, taunting her, helping me hex her! And now you're telling me - no, cross that! I had to hear it from _her_, that you tried snogging her at the end of the year?!"

"It was a thing of the moment, Prongs! An instinct!" Sirius said, in contradiction to his earlier comment. "It's not like I want a girlfriend - especially not your cousin!"

"Then explain why you've been having _dreams_ about her!" James barked, and Remus could only think, _So apparently Sirius' dreams have _not_ gone unnoticed…_

"Dreams?" Sirius was slightly taken aback, before his temper flamed again. "I'm allowed to have dreams, Prongs! It's not like I can control them, now can I?"

There was a moment's silence, after which Remus could hear James mumble, "The least you can do it cast silencing charms on your curtains…" Then, in a louder, but not by much, voice, he said, "Honestly, now, Sirius. What do you want with Keira?"

There was a helpless sound from Sirius. "I don't know. I honestly don't know. She's… she's nothing like the other girls. Perhaps she's not fiery like Lily, but… she has spirit. She's the only girl out there who can challenge me - she's the only one who fights back when I taunt her or make fun of her. I might even go as far as say she's a friend."

Remus could hear James snort.

"Snort all you like, Prongs. I know it's twisted, but can you imagine a life without Keira? She's as much a fact of my life as Lily is in yours. Don't get me wrong - I'm perfectly content keeping things as they are - it's fun making her mad, and in a way that attempted snogging session last month was intended to do just that - but… maybe, one day, I might take it further. I'm not in love with her, but I do love her. Even as a friend."

"Even as a friend?"

"If it hurts you to think of us as anything but that, then yes, even as a friend."

"If you hurt her-"

"You think I'd dare do that?" Sirius said wonderingly. "You think I would dare hurt _your_ cousin, when half the school knows that you would tear anyone who'd do that to pieces and that she would do the same for you?"

An embarrassed silence spread in the kitchen and Remus knew exactly why. Keira and James deluded themselves into thinking that everyone thought they hated each other and could not stand being in the same room together. They thought they had them all fooled. Truth was, the only people who had been fooled were James and Keira.

"Erm…" James finally let out weakly, "I… Err…"

Remus could _hear_ Sirius smirk.

"Thought no one knew that you actually _liked_ your dear cousin?"

There was no reply from James.

"Good, old Prongsie," Sirius chuckled. "I'd bet you both thought you were doing such a great job at hiding it."

Still no answer.

Smiling to himself, and knowing that the two friends would settle everything quietly now, Remus crept back to his improvised bed and went back to sleep.

In the morning, it was as though nothing had come to pass between Sirius and James. They joked as usual, James making his normal, disgusted comments at Sirius' kitchen, and Sirius valiantly defending his poor refrigerator.

Though James _did_ appear thoughtful when the four made a rather sloppy breakfast of leftover pasta from the night before and cookies, it soon became obvious that something entirely different than the night's events was on his mind.

"Did you lot hear about Dumbledore's new plan?" he asked, half-heartedly munching on a chocolate-covered biscuit.

"No," Peter said around a mouthful of pasta and then swallowed in order to speak more clearly. "What's the old coot up to now?"

"Starting from next year the school's offering an Apparition course, lasting for several months and by the end of it all students of age will go through an Apparition test. Technically it's supposed to be for the sixth years, but since it's new, seventh years will be able to go through with it as well, but… I'd really wish we could finish it before the year starts."

He paused, allowing them all to think it over, before continuing, emboldened by their curious expressions. "So I was thinking, since all of us are already seventeen, and have already accomplished much harder feats, why don't we take the Ministry's shortened course and finish with it this summer instead of waiting for that new Hogwarts course?" he said, grinning. "It could be so much fun - coming to school next year and telling everyone that we've already gotten our permits!"

Remus looked up at Sirius, then at Peter and finally at James. They all wore identical expressions of excitement. He recognized that expression. It was the same look that appeared on their faces when they first came up with the idea of turning themselves into Animagi in order to keep him company on the full moon. It was an expression which told him that this was something they intended to do no matter what other people said, and that, eventually, they would succeed. And the most frightening thing about it - he knew that on his face appeared that selfsame expression.

"Sure," he said, voicing what they all thought. "Let's do it."

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They all agreed that they would register for the course the next week. It was an intense course, only three weeks long. It would mean getting up every day at six and getting back home only around ten, but they were determined to go through with it, even at the cost of losing many hours of sleep.

But there was one thing that the other three did not know, and Remus was determined not to tell them about it. They had gone to enough trouble on his behalf over the years. This was something he could do for himself.

Unlike normal witches and wizards, werewolves were not easily given the chance of receiving an Apparition permit. They could not just walk to the Ministry and apply for a course and a testing. It took many recommendations, legal documents to be signed by dozens of people, things needed to be filed and marked.

It was bureaucratic hell, but it had to be done.

And so he wrote letters. To Dumbledore, to McGonagall, to Flitwick and even to Sprout. He filed a request for recommendation with the board of governors and went to the Werewolf Registry in order to let them know of his intentions. He went to the Apparition Directory in order to get the right forms and files. He had his parents drive him back and forth to the Ministry over an entire week before everything was ready.

And so, by the time James came by the floo network to get him to Potter Manor and from there by Portkey to the Ministry, everything was set and he just smiled and nodded, going with him, as though nothing had happened over the week they had not met. The Marauders need never know. It would not do any good, seeing as this was the law. Werewolves just had no rights - it was a fact of life and something that Remus had learned to live with a long time ago, despite the fact that being around his friends helped him forget… for a little while.

The Apparition course was not like anything Remus had ever gone through. Though there were immensely difficult classes at school, they did not come close to the level of concentration and practice Apparition demanded. Every day was hellishly hard, and by the time he arrived home at night he was so tired, physically and mentally tired, that he skipped dinner and went straight to bed. Though he could see, in the morning, from the corner of his eye, his parents looking at each other with worry in their eyes, he knew he could not quit. It was now a matter of pride - to show that a werewolf could go through with it despite the humiliating process and the instructor's offensive remarks.

He had to pull James and Sirius back several times when the instructor said something about, "Useless half-humans who can't learn the art of Apparition for the life of them." This was after he had missed a day of practice after the full moon.

He had almost gotten himself splinched four times, which was better than Sirius with his seven and Peter with his six, but much less successful than James' two.

They were long three weeks, but by the time the testing arrived, Remus felt that he could have his permit on the first go.

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That was it. That was truly it. The person assigned to see if he had done it right was standing by him, smiling benignly at him, a clipboard at his side, a silver-feathered quill in his hand. He filled Remus' details, merely lifting his eyebrows once when Remus admitted to being a werewolf and handed him his special permit for examination. He said nothing, which was a surprise, and did not even flinch when Remus' hand accidentally brushed his as the werewolf permit exchanged hands.

He vaguely remembered the instructor sternly and quite malicefully telling him the list of places to which he was supposed to Apparate to, which, quite expectedly, also included a Muggle garbage dump - his final destination. He only barely heard the examiner telling him he could go.

Later, when asked by his parents of the locations he had gone through, he could only shake his head helplessly. He did not remember. The whole while he was worried that he might get splinched, or spotted, or something, which would prove the bigoted instructor that he had been right all along. There was snow at some point, and then there was heat, and he distinctly remembered smelling the sea once, but beyond that, he could not say. The only thing he remembered clearly was the very end of the test.

It was the last time he Apparated from one place to another, and he was certain that he had failed. The picture was not fixed firmly in his mind. Carefully opening his eyes, Remus risked looking around. His heart was beating at a double pace. A dismantled Muggle car to one side, a broken refrigerator to the other, heaps of broken machinery and Muggle gadgets in every other direction, and in the background, the skyline of a town.

It took him a moment to realize that he did it. He _did_ it!

Before he could so much as let out a whoop of joy, a wizard in bright purple robes appeared from behind the car and grinned at the exalted Remus.

"Welcome to the world of permitted Apparition, Mr. Lupin," the man said, smiling. "Congratulations."

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"Here's to us!" Sirius said, ever-so-cheerfully, as the four boys sat around the wicker table in his flat, all excited. He brought four shot glasses filled to the brim with Firewhiskey, the bottle floating by his side. "To the Marauders!"

"The Marauders!" they all cried in unison and clinked their glasses, taking their drinks down in one gulp.

It was truly a wonderful thing, to be able to Apparate. It gave one, especially a werewolf, so bound by laws and bigotry, a feeling of complete and utter freedom. He could now go wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and not worry about how to get there. It was… refreshing.

Though Peter came close to splinching himself on a Muggle, all four of them passed together which made the celebration even grander. They were the Marauders, brothers in cause if not in blood. They were the greatest - no one could surpass them.

They were invincible

Of course, they would all sorely regret consuming so much alcohol the next day and Remus would once again swear to never touch a drink again, but at the moment, pleasantly warm both on the inside and the outside, basking in the glow of their success and the thought of coming to school already able to Apparate and not needing the new course, everything was wonderful.

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It was almost the end of summer, and though the Marauders spent every possible moment either in Sirius' place or in Diagon Alley, they were all excited for the school year to begin, something which was marked by the arrival of the usual owl from Hogwarts.

"Remus!" his father's voice came from bellow. "The letter from school arrived!"

The letter from school. Remus felt his insides freeze. An unpleasant thought crept into his mind. The letter from Hogwarts has arrived. Would it bear good news or bad ones? Would Dumbledore be proven crazy beyond all measure? Surely after the happenings of the previous year he would not do that final step, would he?

Gulping, he gathered his favourite, old dressing gown around him and made his way downstairs. His parents were sitting by the kitchen table, eating breakfast. A third plate was in place for him in case he chose to join them. They always put a plate for him. This morning, a letter was waiting on top it. A letter inscribed with the familiar green ink.

"Morning, dear," his mother said pleasantly, but she received no answer.

Mutely, he strode to the table, snatched the letter from its place and hurried back out of the kitchen and up the stairs, completely missing the exchanging of looks that passed between his parents. He was too worried to pay any attention to anything but the Hogwarts letter that he was holding as far away from his body as possible - holding it as though it was a live snake.

Sitting down by his desk he threw it on the flat surface and stared at it for a while. When he held it, he was too anxious to note anything unusual about it. He had felt so numb, carrying it up the stairs. Did it feel heavier than usual? Was it lumpy? He could not remember. Panic was lurking at the corner of his mind. Surely Dumbledore would not…

His heart beating hard against his chest, praying under his breath that the envelope will not be heavier than usual, Remus gingerly picked it up again. He could breathe somewhat more easily now. The envelope was not exceptionally heavy. And yet… Dumbledore could have charmed it to be so.

Taking a deep breath, he quickly slit the envelope open and in one, hurried flick of his hand, turned it upside down and emptied its contents on the desk. There were only the usual two parchments - the letter from McGonagall and the equipment list. No badge.

Down in the Lupins' kitchen, Saffron, who was taking her morning tea before going off to work, and William, who was just picking up his coat from the hanger, were startled to hear their son shouting a very, very loud, "YES!!!"

Exchanging looks again, the couple shrugged. Their son was like that sometimes.

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Remus was humming cheerfully to himself the next day. He had not stopped humming since the day before when the Hogwarts owl came, bearing the best kind of news. He was not going to be Head Boy! Though McGonagall's letter _did_ say he was still Prefect and expected to attend to his duties as he had done for the previous two years, he was _not_ Head boy!

More than anything in the world he had dreaded that Dumbledore will make worse his mistake from two years before and decide that Remus, and through him, the Marauders, needed more power over other students. Now his heart was easy, though he did wonder who would receive that post. Snape would be the worst option, for he would lord it over Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws and no place would be safe - especially for the Marauders, whom he would surely hunt down with a vengeance. The other two options were not much better either. He dearly hoped that Lily would be able to keep whoever it was in check.

It was early morning, and he was quite happily munching on a muffin by the living room's fire, reading a book and quietly humming to himself. His father had already left to work some half an hour earlier, and his mother was in the kitchen, making a second cup of tea before she _really_ had to go to the Ministry and work.

A sudden crack made both of them jump, Remus choking on his last bite of muffin and, attested by the sound of china breaking in the kitchen, Saffron dropping her cup.

"Remus?!" she cried in alarm, her footsteps coming hurriedly from the kitchen.

"Sorry, Mrs. Lupin!" a voice apologized cheerfully as a hand thumped Remus on the back as he violently coughed. "I still haven't got the hang of this!"

Sirius. How _not_ surprising. While James was capable of quietly popping into the room, with only the slightest sound, Sirius was quite happy to boom and crack as he Apparated and Disapparated.

"Oh, Sirius, it's you," Saffron said, relieved. "Do try not to do it next time."

"Of course, Mrs. Lupin," Sirius said insincerely. He was having way too much fun making noises as he went. But Remus' mother accepted that lie and went back to the kitchen in order to repair her broken cup.

When Remus finally managed to stop choking, he glared at Sirius. "Mind what you're telling to my mum, or I _will_ tell her how her favourite vase had been broken two years ago."

Sirius waved it off. "She likes me too much to do anything about that.'sides, it's been two years. Now, I've actually come here with a business proposal. Did you get your letter from school?"

"Ah, yes," Remus said, and could not help allowing a big smile spread on his face. That made Sirius more than a little suspicious. His eyes glinted with that distinct light that came up whenever he was plotting something.

"Why, Moony," he said silkily. "You didn't happen to get _Head Boy_, now did you?"

Remus almost laughed at this. Sirius was _hoping_ he had gotten that position. It would give him and James so many opportunities to abuse. Smiling in satisfaction, he shook his head. "Nope," he said. "Haven't gotten it, thank Merlin. I'm still Prefect - no extra duties."

Though Sirius' face fell somewhat at that, he shook his head and sighed. "Pity, but we can work around that nonetheless. Anyway, about my proposal. I thought you'd like to come with me to Diagon Alley and buy all the stuff we need for school. I'm going to bring Wormtail and Prongs, too - only Prongs is probably still asleep, so I thought I'd go by his place a little later."

"Hmmm… I guess that could be nice…" Remus deliberately sounded thoughtful before smiling widely at Sirius' crestfallen expression. "Oh, for Merlin's sake, Padfoot, did you really think I'd say no?! Of course I'll come!"

"Great!" Sirius' expression changed in seconds. "And later we can stop at my place and plan a few pranks for the beginning of the year!"

At this Remus narrowed his eyes. "Is your flat anywhere _near_ tidy?"

His friend looked quite ashamed at this, which was rather hilarious, combined with the fact that he tried looking innocent. "Erm… I suppose it could do with a bit of tidying up," he finally said delicately.

"How much is 'a bit'?"

"I suppose there are a few clothes strewn about - and I haven't actually washed any dishes in a while."

Remus noted the use of those indistinct words. _Few, a while… who does he think he's kidding?_

"Tell you what, Padfoot," he said pleasantly. "Go and Apparate to Peter's, since you're already warmed up and ready for mayhem and tell him to come. I'll floo James and ask if he's coming along," Remus said. "And after you've talked to Peter, go and do a bit of cleaning. How about that?"

"Do I _have_ to, Moony?" Sirius whined, his eyes pleading.

"Yes. Now, away with you. I'll Apparate over once I've contacted him."

He did not turn to see Sirius Apparate away.

Kneeling by the fireplace, Remus threw a pinch of floo powder into the flames and, as they turned green, cried, "Potter Manor, Green Guest Sitting Room" and stuck his head in.

The grate in which his head appeared was the one in the guests' sitting room just off James' wing. It was the closest fireplace to James' room and his friend spent a lot of time there. He had to shout for several minutes before heavy footsteps came, slowly and hesitatingly. It was as though that person - most likely James - was not quite sure whether they wanted to take the call or not.

At long last, the door to the room opened and the thin, tall figure of James appeared. He had a lost sort of look in his eyes, but as he spotted Remus' head floating in the green flames, he shook his head and kneeled beside it.

"Hello, Moony," he said quietly. "What can I do for you?"

It was definitely a classic James Potter line, but it lacked the usual luster that should have come with it, and he did not sound like his heart was really in it.

"Sirius was here just now. Wanted to know whether we wanted to come and shop for school with him, since the year starts in only a week and we might as well make a fun day out of it. He's contacting Peter and I said I'd talk to you. We want to go there now and have lunch at the Cauldron. How 'bout it? Coming?"

"I'm sorry, Moony," James said in a strangely subdued voice and shook his head. "I can't come with you. I'll see you all on the train next week, all right?"

"Sure," Remus said, frowning. "Is everything all right, Prongs?"

"What?" James asked distractedly. "Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine. I just… I'll see you next week. Bye." And without warning he walked away from the fire and out of Remus' line of sight.

_Now that was decidedly weird,_ Remus thought, wondering what was wrong with his friend. He looked so… lost, confused. Something was definitely off at the Potter household, but seeing as James did not really want to talk at the moment, it would have to wait for the week after.

Sighing, he shouted in the general direction of his parents' study that, "I'm going to Sirius', Mum! And then to Diagon Alley!" Upon his mother's answering shout of," It's not very polite to shout from the other side of the house, Remus! Enjoy and don't come back home _too_ late!", he Apparated away.

"Managed to contact Prongs?" Sirius asked, holding a pile of dirty laundry in his arms as Remus appeared in the middle of his kitchen.

"Yes, but he said he can't make it. Didn't tell me why, but I get the feeling that something's not quite right with him. Any idea what?"

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe he's ill. I'll go by his place when we get back. Peter'll meet us at the Cauldron. Ready to go?"

"All set. But I see that you haven't quite finished cleaning up," Remus said accusingly.

"I'll finish it up tomorrow," his friend said with a grin, and Remus knew that the job will not be done. He groaned inwardly. His theory that messiness was Sirius' rebellion against his mother became weaker by the second.

"Let's go."

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Diagon Alley was full of people as always. Since it was the summer holidays, it was even more packed because of hundreds of little children who were brought there by their parents for a day of shopping or simply strolling along, eating ice-cream. It was a fine, warm summer day, and it seemed as though there was nothing dark going on at all in the world. But that was just what Diagon Alley was to people - a sort of safe haven where they could forget about the Dark Lord at large, the killing, the mysterious disappearances and everything that came in between.

Children were laughing, women were discussing latest fashions inside shops and men discussed politics. Sometimes it was the other way around.

The three Marauders started their school shopping all right - starting with Madam Malkin's (Sirius was in desperate need of new robes as he had shot another inch during the summer and Remus needed to have his modified since he had lost a few pounds during that same period of time), then replenishing their Potions' stock at the Apothecary, but they never made it to the Flourish and Blotts for their new books, as the way there went by Quality Quidditch Supplies, and owing to the fact that the new Nimbus 1500 was launched only the month before.

That was where Peter and Sirius stopped. And refused to budge for the next hour or so, despite Remus' increasingly desperate attempts to disengage them from the display window. Finally, disgruntled, but thanking Merlin that James had not come along for then they would surely have spent there the entire day, he told them he would come for them later and made his solitary way to Flourish and Blotts.

He spent there a good half hour before he decided it was time to try and get the two other Marauders away from Quality Quidditch Supplies. His growling stomach told him it was high time to have lunch and he would not let a stupid shop stand between him and his meal. Hungry werewolves were not the most pleasant people around.

As he walked down the street his mind wandered back to James. His behaviour had been decidedly unfriendly, but Remus did not think he was even aware of that. It was as though as soon he had said his goodbye it completely disappeared from his mind that one of his best friends was trying to speak with him. It was as though he forgot he was speaking to Remus at all. James, even when in the middle of something important, was always polite and careful of what he said (except when addressing Snape or any other obnoxious Slytherin, but that was beside the point), something hammered into him since very small. It was just… so uncharacteristic of him.

He wondered if perhaps James was really ill as Sirius had guessed. Perhaps it was some sort of magic malady that he did not know - or perhaps something hereditary.

He was so deep in thought that he at first did not realize someone was calling out to him. Only on the third, or possibly fourth, attempt he noted his name being called.

"Remus!"

The young man turned to face the direction from which the call had come, to see Lily waving at him from the ice-cream parlour. She had her red hair in a messy ponytail and was in the process of finishing a huge portion of chocolate ice-cream. Next to her were Haley and Wren. Wren was looking much better than she ever had, her normally pale face tanned and her eyes glowing healthily. Haley was just smiling.

"Hello, girls," he greeted once he approached them. "Shopping for school?" There were many bags surrounding the table next to which they were sitting.

"We were just going to make it a girls' outing, but since Rowena's at home, sick, and Keira suddenly contacted Wren by floo this morning to tell her that she can't come - we've decided to make the best of it and do our shopping while we were at it," Lily replied easily enough. She seemed very excited.

"Where are the other three?" Haley asked as she scraped the remnants of strawberry-butterbeer ice-cream from the bottom of her bowl. "Not too usual seeing the four of you separated."

Ignoring the slight sting, Remus shook his head. "Sirius and Peter are drooling over the latest broomstick back in the Quidditch place and James couldn't come. It's just the three of us here. I was actually on my way back from Flourish and Blotts to drag the troublesome twosome away for lunch." For emphasis, he showed them his bookshop paper bags. "So I'll be on my way now. Hope you've enjoyed your vacation…"

He started turning to leave, but Lily called, "Wait a second, Remus. I actually wanted to ask you something. I... umm… Well, I was chosen Head Girl - got the badge last week, in fact - and I was wondering… did you get Head Boy? Only I think you're the only possible choice."

Though Remus feigned a look of surprise at the news, he was not really all that shocked. The other three female Prefects in their year did not have between them half the brain Lily Evans had, nor her dedication and passion for the job. She had been the only possible candidate.

"Congratulations!" he said sincerely. "But I'm afraid that I must disappoint you, Lily. I'm still a Prefect, but Dumbledore did not see fit making me Head Boy as well. I do hope Snape will not get it - or it might become a bit tricky for us Gryffindors. I'll see you on the train then, shall I?"

"Yeah," Lily said, though Remus could see that her heart was not in it. She was too worried as to who would be her partner for the next year, which was understandable. Waving goodbye at the other girls, he started once again walking down the street and to where two of his friends were happily ogling said latest broomstick.

"Come on, you two," he said, taking hold of their shirt collars and dragging them away. "Time for lunch. I'm starving, aren't you?"

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Despite the full moon being only three days before the beginning of seventh year, Remus could not quench the growing excitement he felt, mixed with a small touch of fear, at the fact that this was going to be his last year at Hogwarts. His last year of pranks and pure, undiluted fun. It gave him shivers just to think of it - whether it was of anticipation or of dread, he had no way of knowing.

As he bade his parents farewell on the platform one last time, he decided that no matter what will come, for better or for worse, he will make sure that this year would be something to remember.

**Ho-hum. Hope you liked this interlude of almost-only fun. And the reason for that is that we're going to have a little bit more angst again on the next chapter…**

**That said - what _will_ be in the next chapter? I don't think I'll be ruining anything to anyone by telling you that it will be titled _The Head Boy_… 'specially since we all know who it's going to be ;) So! Next chapter: What is wrong with James? How will Lily react to the identity of the Head Boy? Will Sirius do something about Keira? (probably not…), and most importantly, what would be the Marauders' last start-of-term feast's prank?!**

**Hugs and kisses to all - and thank you for bearing with me!**

**-Star of the North**


	27. The Head Boy

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** A week! It had only taken me a week to update! Aren't you lot proud of me:)

Anyhoo, not much to divulge this time - t'was a somewhat dull week.

Enjoy!

P.S. I was asked by someone to whom I can't reply by mail why I started the story on 71' instead of 70', so the shortened version of the detailed answer I had is that at the time I wrote this everything pointed at the fact that the Marauders were born either at 59' or 60', and since I'm so fond of symmetry, what with Harry being born on July 80', I chose to go with 60'. Since then it became apparent that they probably were born before that, but I've decided to leave things as they are. Forgive me?

Also, any of you who have been wondering about _Fall from Grace_ and whether I've abandoned it or not - I have _not_. I'm just working on a backlog so I can update more regularly, and the next chapter should be posted sometime around January.

P.P.S. Before I forget: **_HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE WHO CELEBRATES!_**

That said, hope you like this chapter!

**Chapter Twenty Seven - The Head Boy**

James arrived at the platform later than usual that year. Over the years Remus had learned to expect him to be already in their regular compartment, scribbling something on a piece of paper, or, Merlin forbid, reading a book. When he had arrived there, however, a, "Morning, Prongs," on his lips, the compartment was empty, not even a bag or a cloak in sight. Frowning, he entered, taking his customary seat by the window.

As was usual, Peter arrived soon after, huffing slightly, with a freshly-rubbed pink cheek. His mother never ceased fussing over him, no matter how much he squirmed, whined and complained. He flopped on the seat next to Remus, and then frowned, looking about him. "Prongs not here yet?" he asked, having noticed the lack of anything James in the compartment.

"No. Haven't seen him on the platform, either. I haven't actually heard from him in a week, now, and he couldn't come with us to Diagon Alley to shop for school supplies - he didn't have time to say anything else. Have you heard from him?"

Quite frankly, Remus was rather worried. It was a lie that James did not have time to say anything a week ago - he had _chosen_ not to speak to Remus more than he had. The complete silence from him since then had Remus' teeth on edge.

"No," Peter shook his head, stretching. "I sent him a letter yesterday, but the owl returned with the letter unopened. D'you think he's mad at me for something?"

"I doubt it," Remus calmed him, but felt the first signs of worry nagging at the corner of his mind. He had sent James a letter, too, and Zephyr had returned with it unopened as well. Still, he suppressed that feeling, reassuring himself that soon enough Sirius would be there, and he most certainly would know what was going on with James.

So the two friends waited, comparing notes of what they expected this year to be. Peter was nervous about this being a horrid year because of the NEWTs they would have to take at the end of it, but Remus, though a little nervous himself, assured him that they would have ample time to have fun as well, just as they always have had. This filled the time until the compartment door slid open with a bang, and a widely grinning Sirius entered, loudly saying, "Prongsie, Moony, Wormtail - I'm _ho-ome_!" He then waited for a reply, only then noticing the obvious absent of his best friend.

"Where's Prongs?"

The two other Marauders shrugged.

"Not here yet?"

Another helpless shrug.

"Over here, Padfoot," a quiet voice said behind Sirius. "You're blocking the door."

"Prongsie!" Sirius called in mock-hurt. "How can you use such a cold tone with your beloved best mate?"

"Easily," James said, now visible to Remus as Sirius moved to allow him entry.

Remus frowned at his friend almost imperceptibly. Something was not entirely in order with the flippant remark. While it was a genuine James Potter comment, and the habitual grin that it demanded was placed on his lips, his tone of voice was subdued, almost dead. Seeing that James was smiling and joking as usual, however, he shrugged it off, and as he did, he noticed something else as well.

His mouth dropped open.

"Close your mouth, Moony," Sirius teased. "Do you _want_ to be a human flytrap?"

Remus still gaped, his eyes refusing to budge from the shiny piece of metal pinned to the front of James' robes. He knew _someone_ had to receive that post, and he was immensely relieved to not find it in his envelope the week before, happy to only have his Prefect duties that year, but for the life of him he could not have imagined _this_ happening. If he had thought that Dumbledore was mad to appoint _him_ Prefect two years before, this now sealed it off.

Dumbledore was barking mad. He was off his rocker, had taken leave of whatever sense he had left, absolutely and completely without doubt stark-raving _mad_.

Albus Dumbledore, acclaimed Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had appointed James Potter, head of the Marauders, _Head Boy_.

James appeared to notice his awe at the craziness of the sight before him, for his smile faltered and he glanced down at the badge. "Crazy, huh?" he said in a weak voice. "I questioned the Headmaster's sanity myself when it dropped out of my envelope. I mean, I wasn't even appointed _Prefect_. This should have been yours to wear, Moony, not mine. I'm sorry."

"Not at all, Prongs," Remus assured his friend with a smile. "I was _ecstatic_ when I didn't find the badge in my envelope last week. I was so afraid I would and it was such a relief not to. Imagine doing the Head duties as well as the Prefect ones with the whole full moon issue _and_ NEWT studies. I wouldn't have been able to do it."

Sirius only then realized what they were talking about. In a fair imitation of Remus' expression of a moment before, he gaped at the Head Boy badge pinned to James' chest. It was almost comical.

"Y-y-y-yyyy - you're _Head Boy_," he finally let out.

"Well spotted, Padfoot," Remus murmured.

"It appears to be so," James said dryly, playfully swatting Sirius on the top of his head. "Glad you're not angry, Moony. I would have turned the badge in if it meant that I would lose your friendship."

Remus believed what James had said, but he also knew just as well that he would never allow his friend do that for his sake - even in the unlikely case of him being angry with James because of a stupid post he did not want anyway.

The confusion the Marauders felt at the Headmaster's strange decision was not long lasting, for soon enough they started thinking up ways in which they could make good use of this new opening. During the short conversation, he could not help but notice that James mostly let them do the talking, preferring to listen rather than actually participate. It was… strange, to say the least. Ever since the first day he had met him, James had been a very talkative boy, rarely closing his mouth, especially where pranks and Quidditch were concerned.

The only other occasion in which James had been so ominously silent was the year before when… Well, when _that_ happened. It was quite worrying.

He did not have much longer to contemplate his friend's unusual behaviour, for the door to the compartment slid open to reveal the seventh year Gryffindor girls standing at the corridor outside it. James, who had yet to sit down, claiming to be too restless, turned to face them.

"Potter," Lily stuck her head through the open door, dislike and what looked like anger and disbelief in her eyes, "the train's about to leave and we can't find Keira anywhere. Do you know where she is? She _can't_ miss the last train ride to Hogwarts."

Remus could not see James' face for his friend was standing with his back turned to him, but he could see his shoulders stiffening and the expression on Lily's face changing into something resembling alarm and perhaps even fear.

In his normal tone of voice, which suggested he was fooling with her head again, but did not sit well with the expression on her face, now changed again into confusion, he said, "Keira won't be coming on the train. In fact, she would not be coming to school until next week or the week after."

"Why?"

"Family matters, Evans. None of your business." This time James' tone was verging on cold, making Lily's confusion increase. Remus did not blame her. In the past year and a half or so James had always been nice to her in a way. He never said anything nasty to her, but this response of his was on the brink of returning to the days before fifth year. "Now, I do believe we have a Prefect meeting to conduct. Coming, Moony?"

He did not wait for Remus to follow. Without turning, he pushed past Lily and into the corridor. Exchanging equally confused glances with Sirius and Peter, Remus followed him with Lily in tow.

James swept up the train at a murderous pace, his apparently grim face scaring students still in the corridors away. A goodly distance behind him, Remus and Lily walked at a more leisurely pace, taking time to speak.

"You're not happy that he made Head Boy, are you?" he asked her gently, his hands stuck in his trousers' pockets, slightly hunched so as not to tower too much over her.

"Not… not really - I don't know, Remus. I just don't know," she answered, her eyes pained. "When I met you in Diagon Alley the other day and asked you if you got the badge and you said you didn't, I was so afraid that I'd get Snape or that git Carlyle from Ravenclaw who is certain he's the smartest bloke out there. And then the second letter came, with the instructions of what I needed to do on the train and everything, and in it, it said, 'You should coordinate this with the Head Boy, James Potter'. And I was mad, Remus, I won't lie to you. I couldn't believe Dumbledore would give that post to someone as - as - as _arrogant_ and _irresponsible _as Potter. But now… I don't know. Now that I've seen him… he's _changed_, Remus. He's not that bullying toerag anymore, and I…" her voice died.

"And you don't know how to handle it, especially now that he's been so cold to you?" he completed for her. She nodded mutely and he sighed. "Lily, I won't lie to you, just as you did not lie to me. I told you this before, I think. James… he's a much more complex person than he appears to be on the surface. I won't deny that he's arrogant and that he had spent a major part of the past six years bullying people and hexing them for fun, but not everything about him is as you perceive it to be. I owe him more than you can ever imagine - I may even go as far as say that I owe him my life. Just give him a chance, Lily. He's been trying so hard… just let him show you the other side of his that he's been keeping secret from everyone but the three of us. Please?"

"I'll think about it," she said without conviction, picking up the pace and leaving him behind, shaking his head. They were so similar, those two, and yet so different.

The Prefect meeting provided Remus a good chance to once again see the Other James, as Sirius had dubbed the serious side of their friend so long ago. The Other James was sober. He spoke to the point and took no nonsense from the Prefects - new and old alike. Though the three other male Prefects of the seventh year protested loudly against the post being given to someone who was not only a well-known troublemaker but also had never been a Prefect, James glared them into silence, cutting off their arguments before they even managed to form them properly. He showed no hesitation, speaking as though he had been Prefect for the past two years, reciting rules and regulations for them all to remember. He was polite and short in his speech, letting Lily take over the rest of the meeting.

As Remus watched his friend, he could not help but ask himself how this boy could have two, completely different sets of personality. He did not know if it was his imagination or not, but he also thought Lily was thinking along those lines, for she was giving James a new sort of look as he settled down in his seat.

After the meeting had been taken care of, James and Remus returned to the compartment where Peter and Sirius were playing Exploding Snap, discussing a prank idea as they did.

This time they did not bother planning a start-of-term prank, for they had already made preparations for it the year before, at the very end of it, making good use of their map, James' cloak and taking advantage of Remus' free admittance to Dumbledore's office. Also, James did not seem to be in the mood to _any_ prank-planning, and so, after teasing him thoroughly about being upset at Lily's anger with him, they settled into a game of cards to pass the time. Quite a few times James would leave under pretense that he needed to patrol the train. He practically ignored Sirius' call that he was going to search for Lily and attempt to snog her senseless.

When they arrived at the Hogsmeade platform later that day, the four stumbled down from the train, with James still uncharacteristically quiet. Remus was beginning to think that his friend's withdrawn manner stemmed from something far more serious than Lily's behaviour.

And so, as they neared the horseless carriages, he looked to the side, meaning to take a good look at his friend and try and decipher what was wrong with him. It did not take him more than a glance. James looked sick. Sirius and Peter, who had started their, "what pulls the horseless carriages" argument early this year, even before they entered the carriage, did not seem to notice that anything was wrong, but Remus saw it and inspected his friend closely.

James' normally tanned face was very pale and drawn. There were deep hollows in his cheeks and there was something stretched about his skin. The worst of it all, however, were his eyes, and for the life of him Remus could not understand how he had not seen this before on the train, no matter how short was the time James had spent with them. There was a haunted look in his eyes, his steps rapidly slowed down, and as they drew near to where the carriages were parked, he stopped walking altogether, his eyes going wide and his face losing whatever colour they may have had before.

"Thestrals," he said softly, his quiet voice breaking into Sirius' and Peter's vehement argument.

"Huh?" Sirius asked in surprise in the middle of his countering of this year's suggestion made by Peter, which was, ridiculously as it sounded even for that sort of argument, House-Elves. He also took a good look at James now, his eyes narrowing.

"Thestrals," James said again, his voice hoarse. "They're pulled by Thestrals." And then, without another word, his whole body seemed to shake, and almost in slow-motion, Remus could see his friend's knees giving way.

"James!" Sirius cried in alarm, catching their friend before he collapsed to the ground. Looking around him quickly to make sure no one had seen the Head Boy fall, he practically dragged James into the nearest carriage, shooing the two third year girls who had already occupied it without much civility. At that particular moment, Remus was far from caring and did not reprimand him.

Once ensconced in the musty carriage, Remus was startled to see James bury his face in Sirius' shoulder and cry. It was the first time any of them had seen their friend show any emotion this severely. Not even at his most profound pain, not when he was injured or when he was angry, did James cry. It was unthinkable of the leader of the Marauders to cry. Crying was for lesser mortals, not for Cup-winning Quidditch stars such as James Potter.

All three of them watched in silence as James' long, lean body shook in complete abandon, not knowing what to do.

After a while, his crying subsided, but his hand still weakly clutched Sirius' robe.

"Better, mate?" Sirius asked in hesitation, completely nonplussed at what had just transpired.

"Not really," James said in a hoarse voice, straightening himself, removing his tear-stained glasses and cleaning them on the hem of his own robe, avoiding making eye contact with any of them. Remus could clearly see the tear marks on his cheeks, still glistening in the half-light of the carriage.

"We're not going to press you to tell us what's wrong," Sirius said softly, "but we're here when you want to talk."

"No," the reply was curt and suddenly emotionless. "Everyone is going to know all about it tomorrow morning, anyway, when the _Prophet_ comes out." He looked up, looking strangely young and vulnerable without his glasses and with the tear marks on his face. "Kelly is dead," he said flatly.

All three of them exchanged horrified glances, but said nothing, for James continued without pausing for long.

"I saw her die. They just killed her. Just like that. She was a pure-blood and they killed her without a second's thought."

"They?" Sirius asked gently, though his voice shook. They all knew Kelly. They waged a violent war against her six years before when they just started their pranking career. This was Keira's _sister_ they were talking about.

"The Death Eaters," James spat out the name as though it was poison. "Those scums of the earth who think they are better than all of us."

The Death Eaters. None of the Marauders had ever seen those monsters that roamed the Wizarding World, following their lord and master, Voldemort. For them they were only creatures told of in the _Daily Prophet_, killing Muggles at will, sometimes hunting down Muggle-born witches and wizards, and then, very rarely, also slaughtering pure-bloods. And it just so happened, that James' cousin joined those rare few.

And James had to watch it happen.

The realization filled Remus' mind with horror. His friend, cheerful James, who had been pampered and loved throughout his life, had to watch someone being murdered in front of his very eyes.

Wordlessly, he watched as James leaned back and closed his eyes, his pale face wrinkled into an expression of pain. Not another word was said for the entirety of the ride. No joke was uttered, no argument let loose. Sirius, Remus and Peter kept exchanging glances, not knowing what to say or do. They did not want to leave James alone with his grief, but they could not think of anything that would make it better. Kelly was dead. She was never coming back.

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Hogwarts was rejoicing, celebrating the beginning of a new year. Children were laughing, teachers were speculating as to what sort of first years they would have to get used to this time. To Remus it all seemed stale, meaningless. The cheerfulness passed him by and failed to infect him.

Without even realizing it, the Marauders gathered around James protectively, as though trying to shield him from the world with their bodies. It was not a conscious thing - just an inner realization that their friend truly needed all the help they could give.

No one seemed to notice that there was anything wrong. The tear marks on James' cheeks had faded before they had entered the castle, and his reddened eyes could be attributed to tiredness or even the glow coming from the wavering flames of the candles lighting the Hall.

Quietly, the Marauders sat down not far from the seventh year girls by the Gryffindor table. None of them was quite sure what to say even now, so they compromised on supportive silence.

As he waited with everyone else in the Great Hall for McGonagall to appear, leading the new first years for their sorting, Remus could hear amongst the whispered conversations not a few people wondering what the Marauders would do to Dumbledore this year. After all, it was practically tradition for them to begin the year making fun of the Headmaster. He felt an unpleasant clenching in his gut. Was it too late to call everything off?

Probably, seeing that everything was in place since the very end of sixth year. He shook his head. James most certainly would not be in the mood to rejoice in their success. Most likely he would hate himself for coming up with the idea in the first place.

Either way, it was too late, for at the precise moment, the door to the Hall opened, and the stern Professor McGonagall came striding down the middle aisle between the two center tables, leading behind her a big group of traumatized-looking first years. The journey across the like must have not been fun for them, Remus surmised, somewhere in the back of his mind.

As per usual, Flitwick brought the Sorting Hat and put it on its stool. Remus closed his eyes and sighed, knowing that hundreds pairs of eyes were training themselves on the brim of the Hat, waiting for it to open and spout its annual pearls of wisdom.

_Welcome, one and all,_

_To another year at our great school._

_Here at Hogwarts' great, big Hall,_

_In front of me on my ancient stool._

_Though year by year I have presented_

_Hogwarts' students with the past,_

_This year's song has been requested_

_So my unfinished song aside was cast._

_They are the Marauding four,_

_Those whose words took sway._

_And now shall I step aside,_

_Allow their words to say:_

_We are the kings of pranks,_

_We are those who tricked you all,_

_We are those who left no tracks,_

_Who put you under thrall._

_For six years we have reigned,_

_This school from amongst the shades._

_And now seniority we have gained,_

_So do expect a lot more raids._

_Though you try to get us in a net_

_We know all Houses from within,_

_We know each and every secret,_

_We know how to get in._

_While Ravenclaws are rather smart,_

_They cannot outwit us in the least._

_Their wings may be a work of art,_

_But lions have eagles for their feast!_

_Now, Hufflepuffs, they do work hard,_

_To make themselves the best._

_But the lions have the winning card,_

_The Marauders and the crest!_

_And now we come to the final name_

_That House of cruel deception._

_The Slytherins we will tame,_

_For they have none's affection._

_Pranking, laughing and good cheer,_

_These have always been our lore._

_And as this is our final year,_

_All hail the Marauding Four and Gryffindor!_

_Though for our deeds we paid,_

_Having fun is not a sin_

_And with that truth said,_

_Let the Sorting now begin!"_

There was a mix of howls of laughter and angry booing as the Hat finished its song. Everyone looked in the direction of the Gryffindor table, expecting to see the Marauders basking in the light of their success, but none of the four boys was smiling.

It did not matter that they had done something that no one else had even thought possible. It did not matter that they managed convincing the Sorting Hat to sing their very own song. It did not matter that everyone thought it was one of their greatest works to date. Nothing of it mattered.

The song they had all thought so hilarious when they convinced the Sorting Hat to sing it left none of them smiling, the taste of ashes in their mouths. This confused many of the students, but none dared questioning their behaviour. They were the _Marauders_, after all - and now seventh years, at that. They could do whatever they wanted.

Glancing at the teachers with a heavy heart, expecting McGonagall to utter the word _detention_, Remus was surprised. Though the Transfiguration Professor first looked as though she was going to burst out at what they had dared doing, tweaking the nose of every single member of the staff, she closed her mouth as she spotted the four boys, her features softening as her eyes landed on James. The Head Boy had his face in his hands, and his body was shaking, though most certainly not with laughter.

None of them paid any attention to the Sorting.

As Dumbledore rose to invite the entire school to feast, his face more somber than usual, Sirius whispered only loudly enough for Remus and Peter to hear, "We have to get him out of here. _Now_."

Both nodding simultaneously, they waited. Sirius obviously had something in mind. And, indeed, just as the food began to appear on the table, their friend muttered, "You might hate me for that in the next half hour, Prongs, but you'll be thanking me later." And with that he pointed his wand at James and whispered something. A faint, dull brown light left the wand and hit the young man in the stomach. In seconds James was doubled over and making retching sounds, clutching at his stomach and throat.

"Oh, Merlin!" Sirius said loudly. "Are you all right, James? Maybe we'd better take you to the Hospital Wing. Must be something you ate on the train, I guess."

Taking his cue, Remus nodded. "I told you that pumpkin pasty looked dodgy! It must've been baked _weeks_ ago!"

Not many people noticed their departure now that the food was on the table, but the few who had found their performance convincing enough and did not question the four leaving the Hall.

The Marauders went to bed that night without dinner. Somehow, none of them was hungry anymore.

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As James had foretold, it was on the next morning that the entire Wizarding World, not excluding the Hogwarts students, discovered about the Palmer catastrophe. On the wings of dozens of owls, the _Daily_ _Prophet_ proclaimed the carefully concealed death of a member of one of the most important pure-blood families in society.

And then it began.

The false condolences, the pitying glances, the occasional sincere expression of pain, but most of all, a lot of flatterers who thought to gain James' goodwill through appearing supportive and appropriately mourning. Remus, Sirius and Peter could see that James was fighting to remain in control and not lash out at those who crowded him, trying to gain favour. The muscles around his eyes and mouth tightened, his lips so tightly drawn that they were pale and bloodless, his fists clenching and unclenching rapidly.

They could all see how harder it became for him to control his emotions. His eyes were constantly red, and they all had to pretend that they did not see him slip to the bathrooms every now and then, presumably to wash his face and wake himself up. They let him continue with his charade, if that was what made it easier for him to go through the day.

Lily also seemed to want to take a little of the burden off of him, not bothering him with the minute details of Heading the student body of Hogwarts, allowing him to take time to himself. During those first days, it did not seem as though he minded much. He did not skip classes, but it was obvious to everyone that he was not paying attention either. Not one of the teachers commented on this. It was as though they all shared his grief and wanted to allow it to run its course.

Keira surprised everyone by arriving at Hogwarts during lunch two days later. Like James, she was pale and drawn, but she smiled thankfully at her friends for being there for her. She did not pause for long with them, however, for she immediately spotted her cousin, sitting by the Gryffindor table and playing disinterestedly with his food, and practically ran to him, hugging him fiercely, murmuring quietly so that only he - and Remus with his keen hearing - could hear.

"It wasn't your fault, Jamie," she whispered. "Please believe me when I say that it wasn't your fault."

With a strangled cry James pried himself out of her arms and stood out of her reach, a tortured expression on his face. "You're wrong. You're wrong. It _was_ my fault. I was the only one to blame. If it wasn't for me she would have lived. I was to blame, Keira," he repeated angrily, tears now splashing from his eyes. "I killed her."

Then he walked away, leaving the entire group in shocked silence, Keira shaking her head sadly. When he disappeared from view, she let her shoulders slump and her eyes drop down. She looked so defeated and careworn. Not saying a word, she walked after him, though she seemed to know that no good would come from it.

James skipped all afternoon classes that day. So did Keira. The teachers did not seem surprised, nor did they question the seventh year Gryffindors as to their missing companions' absence. It was almost sickening - the way everyone seemed to know everything about the cousins' tragedy. It was only to be expected then, that when the three boys and four girls returned to the common room that evening, they were in a gradually worsening mood.

"-like to strangle that little critter," Sirius was saying harshly as they all trooped in through the portrait hole.

"And for a change I would help you," Remus agreed, getting murmurs of support from both Peter and the girls. A third year Ravenclaw tried interrogating them whether it was true that James Potter had murdered his cousin while she was sleeping. They all had to hold back Sirius to stop him from tearing that boy apart - though Remus was entirely in favour of helping him along.

The angry murmuring was cut short when they spotted Keira sitting by herself beside the common room's fire, staring listlessly at the merrily dancing flames. The shadows cast on her face made her look several years older. Her eyes were dry, but she seemed to agonize herself over something, which was beyond her older sister's death.

James was nowhere in sight.

Sirius was the first to take action. He needed to know something, and, at the moment, Keira was the only one able to provide him with an answer. And so he walked purposefully to her stopping right in front of her.

"Keira?" he asked quietly, his voice somehow choked. Remus could not blame him for it. James was like a brother to Sirius, and seeing their friend broken as he was made them all feel sick to their stomachs. When Keira looked up in question, Sirius continued. "Why did James say that? Why did he say that he was to blame?"

She lowered her eyes and fiddled with the hem of her skirt, her hair hiding her face from view. After much contemplation, she wiped her tears away and in a voice, cracked from crying, explained. "They were never close, you know? He was always set on making her life a living hell and she was set on seeing him being punished for all that he did. And then he got the letter, and the badge. She was so proud of him. I had never seen her like that before. It was as though all those years before had never happened. She fussed over him and she was so _excited_. And then James did something that none of us had expected him to do. He went to Kelly for _advice_. He had just Apparated to our home one evening and asked if she would terribly mind giving him advice about how to be a good Head Student. She was so happy to have him come to _her_ of all people.

"They met for lunch in a Muggle pub not far from St Mungo's because she had a shift coming soon after - she worked there, you know? Well, James didn't talk about what happened, but from what eyewitnesses said - before having their memory modified - the Death Eaters entered the pub - for what reason, I don't know - and started cursing everyone around them. Then they seemed to have targeted James and Kelly, and… and Kelly stepped in front of James right before they shot him with an Avada Kedavra. She took the curse and then the Aurors arrived and the Death Eaters Disapparated away. And James has been blaming himself for Kelly's death ever since."

The group was silent. They were too horrified for words. No wonder James blamed himself, Remus thought sadly. Had Kelly not moved, she would have lived, and James, being James, valued the lives of others over his own. This was the one thing that could break his resilient friend; the knowledge that he could not save another's life. He had saved his enemy, but he could not save his own cousin.

"Has he spoken to anyone about what happened?" Lily suddenly asked, softly.

Keira shook her head. "For the first two days he didn't even leave his room. Afterwards he just sat there, silent, mostly just doing his summer homework - which he _never_ does. He's barely eaten anything since it happened, and I _know_ he's not getting enough sleep. Aunt Laura is mad with worry. He hasn't spoken a _word_ about. I don't think he even said her name until now!"

"He did," Sirius said, "but just the one time - when he told us she died."

"He told you?" she raised his eyes to meet his. "Well… that's at least something."

The group settled around her, quietly, not wanting to press her for information.

"How are you holding up?" Wren finally asked gently.

"Just barely," Keira said with a slight smile. "By trying to help James realize that it wasn't his fault. Of course, it would seem as though I am failing miserably… I just can't get through to him."

"We'll help," Sirius said firmly, with Peter and Remus nodding their heads in agreement. "It won't be the same without him. We'll get him back on his feet, even if it means we have to prank the entire school in order to do that!"

From the corner of his eye, Remus could see Lily opening her mouth as though to protest against Sirius' proposed method, but it was clear that she did not have the heart to do it, and so she did not say a word.

"I think I'll go to bed," Keira said after a while, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "I'll see you lot tomorrow, eh?" She got up and crossed the common room, heading for the girls' staircase, her back straight and her shoulders stiff.

"We should probably go with her," Haley said softly and got up to follow, the other girls taking her example as well.

Later, when the three boys made it up into their own dorm, they found James lying on his bed. He did not so much as blink when they entered, but Remus could see that his eyes were open and staring at the canopy of his bed. He was fingering his badge absent-mindedly, as though he did not quite realize he was doing just that.

None of them wanted to disturb him, and so they let him be and went to bed.

For the first time in what seemed like years it took Remus hours before he could fall asleep.

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James had changed. There was no other way to call it. While sometimes the Other James made his appearance when the occasion demanded it, up until the summer, he was only a minor part of the James the other Marauders knew and loved. Now, it seemed as though the fun-loving, mischievous boy was entirely replaced by the Other one.

Remus watched in growing dismay as his friend spent hours over his homework and then politely asked Lily if she would discuss Head duties with him. It was practically chilling to see James stopping students from causing mayhem in the corridors. The leader of the Marauders had gone hard on pranksters. It was unbelievable at best, and very frightening.

Even the teachers were at a loss. On one hand, they were delighted to see him doing his job so well, but on the other, they knew it was only some sort of cover, and they feared the day it will break into pieces.

The other three Marauders did not know what to do. James refused to play pranks and do anything that bordered on breaking the rules. The only thing he did that was illegal, was accompanying them to the Shrieking Shack on the full moon. That was the one thing that surpassed his need to become the model Head Boy. There were some things, Remus thought, that even James would not give up - not even for that obscure cause of his. He was glad that their monthly trip was one of those things.

But it was not good enough. James was distancing himself from everything that he loved and cared for in the past six years. He was becoming hollow, empty, his mind trained on one thing only.

Remus only understood that thing in full when Sirius confronted James on the subject around the end of September.

They were all sitting at the back of the Defence Against the Dark Arts class, waiting for the professor to come. James was sitting by Sirius, and staring blankly the board, a quill already in hand, ready to be poised over his parchment. Sirius was desperately trying to convince James to join him on a prank that night. He was so certain that a prank against the Slytherins was exactly what their friend needed.

But James apparently thought otherwise, for he shook his head at Sirius' reasoning and muttered something about, "Have to patrol the corridors tonight."

"You can't ruin a pranking streak six years long, Prongs," Sirius said, his voice pleading. Remus could not see his eyes, but he knew they were filled with anguish.

"I'm Head Boy, Sirius," James said softly. "If I break the rules I will fail at my job. I will fail _Kelly_. There are some things that simply can't be done."

Remus, from his neighbouring desk, held his breath. James had not mentioned Kelly's name ever since that first night at the carriage. Was he ready to open up again?

"James…" Sirius started, but James waved his words off, his eyes intense behind their glasses.

"No. This is something I had to decide for myself, Padfoot. This is what she always wanted - for me to become someone who did not flaunt his rule breaking in the face of authority. She wanted for me to become something more than just a prankster. I can't fail her - not after I failed her every day for the last seventeen years of my life. She didn't deserve it. She told me - the day she died, just before the Death Eaters burst in - that she knew I could become the greatest Head Boy Hogwarts has ever seen. I'm going to prove her right. I _have_ to prove her right, don't you understand?"

Though Sirius might not have understood, Remus did. This was James' way of repaying Kelly's sacrifice. He would become, for her sake, the person she saw him as - a person that would have made her proud.

It was all for a noble cause, that he knew.

Then why did it feel so wrong?

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Keira walked into her dorm in a pensive mood. It was almost a month since Kelly's death and she was doing her best to come to terms with it. It was hard for her to think that her older sister would never again walk into her room, ranting about work, James, boyfriends, James, parents and James. It was so hard to think that she was no longer alive. Kelly was a constant in her life. A sibling, a friend. Now she was gone and it hit Keira very hard.

Admittedly, she was doing much better than James, who was falling apart on the inside and refusing to admit it, pushing on with life - with a life that was not truly his own. He could not even utter her name most of the time, while Keira had to fight the urge to smile or laugh when someone in her vicinity said something funny or joked. She felt so _guilty_, as though she was forgetting her sister, but she was much more rational than James. She knew that Kelly would not hold getting on with life against her. She simply was not that kind of person.

James believed that Kelly wanted him to change completely. He did not understand that she just wanted him to become more than what he was - but not a different person. Never a different person. He was altering himself in an unnatural way, and there was nothing his friends, or even Keira, no matter how much it hurt them, could do to stop him.

She did not really want to be alone at the moment, with dark thought swirling in her mind, and so she was happy, though somewhat surprised, to find Lily sitting on the floor, staring at a book without actually reading it. As far as Keira knew, her friend was supposed to be at a Head meeting with James.

"Aren't you supposed to be at the Headmaster's office?" she asked the redhead.

"I called in sick," the girl said listlessly. "I didn't think they would appreciate me wondering off in thought in the middle of the meeting."

Now, that was not something Keira was expecting. "What's troubling you, then?"

For a while there was silence. Lily was fidgeting with the hem of her robes, her knees pressed to her chest. Keira just sat quietly, waiting for her to speak.

"I can't take it anymore, Keira," she finally said, looking up at her friend. "It's just not the same."

"What isn't?" the other girl frowned at her, wondering what was on her friend's mind.

"Potter. He's… well, it's just _wrong_ the way he behaves. He's too serious and - and _responsible_!"

Keira just stared at her in disbelief. For years Lily ranted about James' habits. About his refusal to sit down and study, to take his duties seriously. She complained about his pranks and jokes and about everything that made him _James_. Was she now saying that she wanted the old James back? The one who made fun of her, asked her out in front of half the school and would not stop pestering her?

"And what's wrong about him being serious and responsible? He's Head Boy now. He's bound to have changed some of his habits in order to prove Dumbledore right and everyone else wrong."

"It's not _some_ of his habits. It's like he's an entirely different person! This is not Potter - it's… it's an empty husk of what he used to be! He doesn't even smile anymore. He doesn't laugh, he doesn't tease me! I… I really can't handle this, Keira!"

Shrewdly, Keira gave her friend a closer look. Lily was flushed and obviously flustered. She was wringing her hands and biting her lip. She was _distraught_. Amazed at this revelation, Keira felt, for the first time in a month, a true smile quirking her lips. This was absolutely _precious_. Kelly would have appreciated the irony.

"Do you… _like_ my cousin, Lily?" she asked, half-teasingly, half-seriously.

Lily's flushed face turned redder. She shook her head. "I don't like him! Of _course_ I don't like him! He's _Potter_, for Merlin's sake!"

Keira raised an eyebrow. Lily had never been much of a liar. People who blush rarely are.

"I don't _like_ him, Keira," her friend said insistently. "I'm just so used to him being that prankster whom I love to loathe. It's just not the same with him all serious and refusing to make any kind of fun around here. I can't handle this. This is not the James I know. This is not how things should be!"

Keira refrained from telling the distraught Head Girl that she had just broken her habit of six years of calling James by his surname. She did not think her friend could handle _that_ little tidbit after her patented redheaded outburst.

"Then what do you suggest we do?" she asked quietly. "What do you truly want?"

For a while there was silence. Lily was looking down at her feet, trying to process what she had said and the meaning behind Keira's own question. She seemed to debate with herself. When it concerned James, Keira knew that Lily felt the strongest of emotions for him. Lily called it hate, or loathing. Keira suspected that it was borderlining like, if not love.

Then Lily looked up, meeting Keira's eyes. Bright green met blue. Something passed between the two before the redhead finally spoke.

"I want my James back."

**Awwwwwwww…isn't that _sweet_? Lily's finally coming to terms with the fact that she doesn't _really_ hate James to bits ;)**

**Anyhoo, promise much more cheerful chapters are coming up! And, while we're at it, what will we have next chapter? Transfiguration projects, a bit o' laughing at Peter's expense (or _is_ it?), the girls begin to wonder about Lily's secret admirer again, and - oooh! Christmas is right around the corner! All that and more - hopefully next week! (not promising anything this time, though…)**

**Hugs and kisses to all - and thank you for bearing with me!**

**-Star of the North**


	28. Confrontation

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** It's been almost three months since my last update, I know. I also know that I promised to never do that again, but things have a way to work against our will. Life hasn't been particularly kind to me in the time that had passed, so I hope that now, when things are finally getting a little better, my updates will once again become more regular. I hope you all understand and that you haven't given up on my story.

So here, finally, is chapter Twenty Eight… In it, there is quite a bit of dialogue, many short scenes, and a lot of Remus pondering.

Do enjoy.

**Chapter Twenty Eight - Confrontation**

Remus could usually tell when Sirius was being sneaky. Of course, Sirius was _usually_ sneaky, but this was a _special_ kind of sneaky. It was the kind where Sirius was trying to hide what he was doing from James, who knew him better than anyone else. Remus had trained himself throughout the years to see the telltale signs that marked Sirius' change in sneakiness.

So when he spotted Sirius innocently working on his homework in the library, sitting very close to Lily Evans and Keira Palmer, his sneaky-sense kicked in. Careful to remain concealed behind bookcases and people, if said cases were nowhere to be found, he inched his way until he reached the section behind the trio, where he could shamelessly eavesdrop while remaining hidden from their view.

In the silence of the library it was quite easy for an eavesdropping-trained werewolf to hear every whispered word that fell from the mouths of the three sitting not five paces away.

"-to go straight to the top," said Sirius.

"Are you _mad_?" Keira hissed, her voice edged with slight panic. "Why would she ever cooperate with such a-a-a- a_ prank_?!"

"Because she wants James back same as we," he explained seriously. "She hates seeing him like that, too. You can see it in her eyes whenever she looks at him. He's her favourite - always has been. You know that."

"Black's right, of course," Lily said cautiously. "She always had a soft spot for Potter, no matter how she tried to conceal it - we could all see it - but that doesn't mean she would agree to this. Come to think of it - I'm not sure _I'm_ quite content with this crazy idea of yours!"

"Look, Evans," Sirius sighed. "The two of _you_ came to _me_, requesting my help. I agreed, if only because I want to shake James out of this… _stupour_ of his. I'm not sure if I like this method, myself, but the way I see it, this is the only thing that will shake him out of it. It's the only thing that could possibly work with him. He's been after you for _years_, whether you realize it or not. _You_ are our best chance. Make him shout, make him fight, make him _feel_. At the moment, I think you're the only one who can."

Remus frowned from his hiding place. What were those three up to?

No good, that was for sure, but if it brought James back… well, then. If it brought James back, then Remus would gladly kiss their feet. The world was quite empty without the real James Potter in it.

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Though Sirius, Lily and Keira did not speak further of whatever diabolical plan they had in store while Remus stayed behind the bookcase that day, he kept his eyes and ears open for anything out of the ordinary. He had no idea who was the person they were talking of, who favoured James above anyone else, but he hoped that he would get an epiphany if he kept looking for an answer.

Admittedly, Remus was a rather bright boy, very perceptive and sharp of eyes. It still did not help him find the answer to the question - an answer which caught him quite by surprise one morning, about a week later, in Transfiguration.

Trained by Professor McGonagall since they were all tiny first years, no one was late. McGonagall did not hold with tardiness. And so, precisely on time as usual, the stern-looking professor came into her classroom, her strides wide and confident, her hair tightly in place as usual, and her raptor gaze behind her rectangular spectacles silencing them all without effort.

Turning to face them as she reached her desk, her eyes swept them all briefly, assuring that all students were there, before she began speaking. "Good morning, class. We have come to a very important stage of your seventh year studies. Though what you are about to do for most of this term is very complicated, remember that the NEWTs are still ahead of you. These projects will help you prepare yourselves for those exams. They will also help you determine in what fields you are most weak.

"For the duration of this project, you will be sorted into pairs. Each pair will be assigned one of ten subjects, on which they will have to conduct an in-depth research, though not perform the spells researched, for they are very complicated and demand great expertise and supervision. The pairs have been prearranged, so I would be very thankful if you would _not_ try and change them, as they have been chosen for a _reason_. Even if you do not agree with that reason, this is the way it will _be_," McGonagall stressed, and Remus got the feeling that she was looking straight at James and Lily.

Something clicked into place in the dark recesses of his mind.

The two seemed to be oblivious to McGonagall's expression. James was just staring ahead, and Lily looked thoughtful. They both seemed to miss the point where McGonagall said, "-and Mr. Potter and Miss Evans will be working on the subject of Animagi."

The other three Marauders, however, did not miss it.

Peter just looked a little anxious, possibly afraid of what kind of interaction would be between the two when working on something beyond their Head duties. Remus' reaction was to immediately look in Sirius' direction. He felt his mouth drop as he noted Sirius' almost imperceptible smirk.

McGonagall was the person he had been searching for. The one _straight at the top_ was Professor McGonagall. Whatever Sirius was scheming, he was either crazy enough or worried enough to go to the Deputy Headmistress with it.

"Did you hear me, Mr. Potter, Miss Evans?" McGonagall asked severely.

"Huh?" James asked, suddenly focused again. "Pardon me, Professor. I lost concentration there for a moment."

"I'd surely say you did, Mr. Potter," she said dryly. "I just said that you and Miss Evans will be working together on the subject of Animagi."

Had he been given the task only six months before, Remus knew that James would have been jumping with joy, initiating a prankfest, or simply grinning like a fool for the rest of term. Now, he only nodded absently and went back to staring straight ahead as McGonagall explained the rest of the assignment.

From the corner of his eye, Remus thought he could see Sirius and Keira exchanging worried glances.

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"What are you up to, Padfoot?"

Sirius was trying to look innocent. It did not work. Remus had known him for far too long to buy that wide-eyed look.

"Noth-"

"I don't buy that. What are you up to?"

"Trying to get our Prongs back."

"By making him work on a project with Lily _Evans_? I want to know two things, Padfoot."

"Just the two?"

"That's for starters. One, what brain damage did you sustain in order to come up with such an idiotic idea in the first place, and two, how on _earth_ did you manage convincing McGonagall to cooperate?"

Smirking widely, Sirius stretched on his bed. "I sustained no brain damage, Moony. It's quite logical, if you think it through. And I _know_ how much you love logic. The facts are, that throughout our years at Hogwarts, only two people ever managed to get the most passion out of Prongs in his reactions to whatever they said or did. Only two people in this entire school who could get a rise out of him even if he was dead and buried six feet under. As it were, it is quite impractical to ask for Snape's help, so Lily was the default option. Their rivalry and Prongs' feelings for her are legendary in the school. And since she and Keira were the ones to approach me, asking for my help in bringing the old James back, I though - why not?

"And as for McGonagall… you'd be surprised how cooperative she became once I made it clear that it might bring her favourite student back from his own little world."

Quirking his head to one side, Remus asked, "Do you really think it could work?"

The smile on Sirius' lips faltered and then died. His expression became very serious and somber. "It had better work, Remus. Because if it doesn't… well. I'm not sure we would ever get him back."

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It was the day after the assignments were given, and Remus was silently working by himself in the library, doing the preliminary research about the Transfiguration of Living Elements. He and his partner, Tina Aubrey from Slytherin, had already divided the basics and have agreed to meet two days later and compare notes. He was so engrossed by his reading material, that he was considerably startled out of his work by two familiar voices, arguing in low tones.

"You didn't even bother to bring any material!" Lily growled. "I know that the project is supposed to be stretched over most of the first term, but _really_! How do you expect to get started when you didn't even do the preliminary assignment?"

"_Relax_, Lily," James answered irritably. "I have all the material we need."

"You do? Then where _is it_?"

"Right here." Remus could not see from himself at what James had pointed, but he could have hazarded a guess that it was his head.

"Oh, really?" Lily sneered in a very unflattering tone.

"Yes, really," James answered mildly, refusing to rise to the bait, of which normally Remus would have been very proud, but now was just another sign of his change. "Ask me anything, Lily. I can tell you exactly what to write and how everything works. Just try me, and I promise I will not fail you. Not this time. Ask me anything."

"All right, then," she said, rising to the challenge. "What is the punishment for an unregistered Animagus?"

"Easy. Minimum of five years at Azkaban."

"Does the animal form reflect the human form's physical condition?"

"Of course. If one is wounded in either form, then the wound is immediately transferred to the other form as well. Transforming into your true self if you were mortally wounded as your animal self will not save you unless it is a condition that can only be cured in humans or vise versa."

There was a moment of silence in which Remus was certain Lily was processing what James had just told her and checking it against whatever she knew from the textbook. He shook his head slightly, knowing that James knew this answer from experience. He only remembered too well the Snape Incident of only a year before.

Then she finally came up with another question. "Can the Transfiguration of an Animagus be done wandlessly?"

Remus could hear James snort. "Have you any other easy questions, Lily? I thought you were trying to fail me here, not give me extra points."

A tiny sliver of hope inched into Remus' mind. For the first time in _weeks_, his friend had suddenly made a genuine James Potter Comment. Maybe Sirius' scheme would actually work…

"_Fine_," she huffed. "I was just trying not to make you look a complete fool. If you're so sure of yourself - what potions are required for the process of changing?"

"The Animagus process of transformation includes the use of three potions. But what most people don't know is that the potions are not _compulsory_," James began easily, knowing the answer by heart.

"They're not?" Lily sounded surprised, obviously not having gone through the entire text she had as yet.

"Nope. The first potion will reveal - to some extent - the nature of your Animagus form. It won't be precise. You won't be able to tell what animal it is, or what size it is going to be. All you actually get is a vague sense of what you are, and it helps you make contact with that characteristic of yours which determines what animal you are.

"You see, the form you take cannot be predetermined. You have no say in what shape you will take once the process is complete. That shape is determined by your most prominent of characteristics - what shapes _you_ as a person. For example, if you are extremely brave, then most likely you would be a lioness, which stands for bravery in most cultures. If you turn out to be, let's say, a dog, then most likely your primary, most dominant trait is intense loyalty. If you truly know yourself, then it is quite possible that you can guess beforehand what Animagus shape you will take."

"I didn't actually know that," Lily admitted, her voice a little humbled. "I suppose I always thought that you just… choose an animal and think really hard on it when you transform."

"Ah, but then you'd be able to change into any number of animals, no?" James said, a smile evident in his voice. "No, the change, as Sirius oh-so-aptly put it at some point a few years ago - when McGonagall showed us her form, I do believe - is unchoosable. You have, I repeat, no say in it. Shall we continue?

"The second potion helps you focus. If you have no trouble focusing, then you don't really need it, but many people have that problem. Take Peter for example. He simply can't concentrate - that's his main problem - that is why he finds it so hard to do magic. Magic requires immense concentration, and he lacks that. If Peter was to attempt Animgus transformation, then he would need the second potion most surely."

At this Remus heard Lily snigger. "Yeah, _right_. Pettigrew would never in his life attempt turning into an Animagus. It is _way_ out of his league."

Remus could almost see James smile. He himself could not stop the corners of his mouth from rising at this. If only Lily _knew_.

"Be it as it may, Peter is not the only wizard who encounters that sort of difficulty," James continued clinically. "In fact, since the Animagi process is so complex and dangerous, _most_ people - even people as bright as you or me-" Lily snorted derisively at that, "-would need that second potion if they want to avoid any… complications, shall we say?"

"What do you mean?" Lily seemed to be sincerely intrigued.

"Well, I suppose that technically this is what we need to research more in depth, but, generally speaking, some awful accidents could happen if you do not go through the process properly. Bits of animal sticking out of your head, or toes - or even your stomach - coughing up furballs - though I admit this is an occupational hazard when you are a witch or a wizard - anything animal-related that you can think of and even some things which are not."

"That's kind of creepy. You do realize that, don't you?"

James laughed, and Remus held his breath. James _laughed_, once again sounding like his old self. Was Lily starting to get to him?

"Yeah, I realize that. But I suppose that's why McGonagall doesn't want us to do that practical work, don't you think?"

"Right. So… the third potion, Potter?"

There was a moment of unexplained silence before James sighed. "Lily… we've been working together since the beginning of the year, and now we are going to be working even more closely together than before. Would it be at _all_ possible for you to try and call me by my given name? It's not such a hard name, you know. Five letters, good, classic name. Please?"

Though James had been calling Lily by her first name ever since the beginning of the year, always polite and respectful, Lily had stubbornly kept calling him Potter - be it from the force of habit or from any other obscure reason of her own. She seemed to be unable to let go of old grudges.

Hesitatingly, she spoke. "I suppose… I suppose I can _try_. It's not easy, you know, to change the habits of six years."

James softly chuckled. "I can definitely sympathize. Now, the third potion. The third potion is…"

Remus stopped listening at this point, knowing it all by heart, just as James did. Instead, he went back to his own work, a small smile plastered on his lips. Hopefully, things would get on beautifully between the two, and everything would go back to normal.

Minus the Head Students' usual fights, that is.

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As October progressed and neared its end, it seemed as though James was opening again with every passing day. Though he was still slightly distant from everyone, it seemed that working closely on the project with Lily was doing him a world of good. He was smiling again, and laughing, albeit in a somewhat restrained fashion. When the project was finally submitted to McGonagall and given back the next week with an 'O' marked on top of the cover parchment, together with a rare comment on it being the best work she had seen in _years_, their friend was practically glowing.

November came, and with it the first Quidditch match of the year. Slytherin versus Gryffindor, as per usual. Gryffindor won. It was not too surprising, considering almost the entire Slytherin team had left school the year before and the new Captain was an inexperienced sixth year, but James in particular seemed to play with a vengeance, streaking through the air like someone demented, zigzagging between players almost without a care in the world, bent on reaching the posts at any price.

Remus morbidly assumed it was his way of taking revenge from those he considered to be future Death Eaters and therefore responsible for future deaths like that of Kelly's.

After that things seemed to get even better, but none so such as when the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year had come around, bringing a much needed respite for the pressured seventh years.

It a fine wintry morning and the Marauders were sitting in the Three Broomsticks, sipping butterbeer. James' mood was becoming increasingly better. Though he still adamantly refused to join in with any pranks, for the first time since the beginning of the year, he actually came up with an idea. It seemed to Remus that the improvement in him originated in the companionship he found in Lily as they worked together on their Transfiguration project. He now smiled more often, and even laughed.

The prank idea was a real breakthrough. Especially when James quite casually suggested it to be directed against the entire school.

"Fireworks are out, of course," the Head Boy said offhandedly. "We've been using them for far too many times - and so are dungbombs. What we _could_ do, however, is mix that leftover sneezing powder we have under Wormtail's bed, mix it with a couple of potions - and there you have it! The entire school sneezing in colours and smells for an entire day. It's _bound_ to drive the teachers off their rockers!"

Soon he, Sirius and Peter were discussing details, not quite noting the fact that Remus left them to it, allowing his attention to wonder off. He finally allowed himself to think that perhaps James was on the mend.

Glancing about the loud, cheery room, he spotted various Hogwarts students of all ages (naturally, not first and second years, but that, as the Marauders were the only ones who knew the secret ways in and out of the castle, was a given), including, just off to the Marauders' right, the seventh year Gryffindor girls.

He was just about to wave to them in greeting, when something one of them said made his head snap straight up and away from them, his eyes wide.

"I wonder if he will reveal himself this year."

Keira's comment almost made Remus choke on his butterbeer. He looked sharply at his friends, but realized that none of them had heard it, for they were still excitedly discussing James' idea. It was just his abnormally acute hearing that caught it.

"I sure hope so," Lily said, and he could hear the longing in her voice. "It would be rather devastating that I had someone like that after me for all this time, never to know who it was once we leave Hogwarts. I really want to know who he is."

"Maybe he'll blunder at one point and forget to conceal his magic input," Haley suggested, though her voice did not sound as though she believed herself.

"You forget that the only thing he does magically is the writing, and for the he uses a pen that had been spelled _against_ people trying to find the writer," Rowena said, completely ruining that feeble theory. "The drawing is done the Muggle way."

"And he erases the fingerprints, somehow," Wren nodded her agreement. "I don't think he will _make_ a blunder like that, Haley."

The other girl sighed. "No, I suppose he wouldn't, at that. It was a nice thought, though, wasn't it, Lily?"

Lily laughed lightly, though Remus thought he could hear a tiny speck of sadness in that clear sound. "Yes, I suppose it was. It's a really nice drawing, the new one. And it was really surprising that he sent me one so early in the year. Usually he gives me one for Christmas and sometimes for my birthday."

At this Remus frowned. He glanced at Sirius who was roaring with laughter at something James had said only moments before. James had not said a word about a missing drawing.

Vowing to himself he would find the answer, Remus went back to listening on to whatever the girls had to say.

"Maybe you should start randomly kissing boys at school," Rowena suggested mischievously. "See who's attracted to you."

"Oh, come on, Rowena," Keira snorted. "Half the school's male population would like to snog our little Miss Evans, here. If she goes around, starting to kiss people out of the blue, she would _never_ find out who is this secret admirer of hers. Honestly, anyone of those boys would immediately profess to be the one who sends the drawings. Merlin - James would jump at the chance!"

From the corner of his eye, he thought he could see Lily stiffening. Then the girl let out a laugh, though it sounded feigned to him. "Don't be so sure, Keira. I think I made it pretty clear that I'm not interested, no? I don't think he's interested in me anymore - so that's one boy off the list that I would have to kiss, eh?"

The girls all burst into a loud fit of giggles, before going back to less incriminating subjects.

It still made Remus wonder. And so, that evening, when James went off to take a shower, the werewolf cornered Sirius with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"What?" Sirius whined pathetically. "I honestly didn't do _anything_ this time, Moony!"

"Are you absolutely _certain_ about that?" Remus asked quietly. "Completely and absolutely _certain_ that you haven't done _anything_?"

"Yes!"

"Do you swear?"

"Oh, all _right_. So I snogged Elaine Winterbourne yesterday night, okay? After-hours, all right? And I left a bucket of honey over the entrance to the Slytherin common room. And I put a few dungbombs in Filch's office. And I nicked the Map from James' trunk - but that's it, I swear!"

Remus' shoulders slumped in defeat. He should have known better than to ask Sirius that. Before his friend could come up with anything else that would convict him further, he held a hand up to stop him. "That's enough, Padfoot. Then… you didn't steal another of Prongs' drawings and sent it to Lily?"

"'course not," Sirius said cheerfully. "It's not Christmas yet!"

"Then…" Remus hesitated.

"Then what?"

"Then, who did?"

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It was James. It had to be James, because James had made no protest about a missing drawing. It had to be James, because James had not threatened Sirius with a wand yet. It had to be James, because it was not Sirius, and it was not Peter, and it was certainly not Remus - and they, barring James' parents who were nowhere _near_ Hogwarts, were the only ones who knew about James' pastime and where he hid the evidence.

The only thing Remus did not understand was _why_. Ever since Sirius had first stolen a drawing and sent it to Lily, James had been very careful with his drawings and was very angry every time Sirius managed to steal another one. And so, he decided to do the one logical thing that would yield him that information - without resorting to Sirius-like qualities of sneakiness and scheming.

He went to ask the man himself.

Not that it was actually as easy as it first sounded when the idea popped into his mind. James was shifty at best, guilty at worst, but finally, he sighed, his hand going up to ruffle his hair without him actually realizing it.

"You caught me. I sent her the drawing. Me, by myself, no Sirius involved. And don't ask me why I did it, Moony, because, quite honestly, I haven't got a clue."

"Maybe…" Remus said cautiously, "Maybe it's because you're ready to ask her again? Did you ever consider that, Prongs? Maybe it's your subconscious telling you it's time."

"You think that, Moony?"

Remus shrugged. "Could be. You never know 'til you try, right?"

"She'll just reject me again."

Remus had to admit that it was quite probable that his friend was right. Though Lily had mellowed down since the year began and James had changed and though he was certain that she returned James' feelings, this did not necessarily equal her saying 'yes' to a date. Despite her being the one who initiated the plot to work with James on the Transfiguration project in order to goad him back into life, she still did not admit to like him back. It was a tricky situation at best, and Remus did not want to see his friend get hurt. Yet there was nothing to it.

His words to James were true and straight from the heart. You never know until you try. James had to give it another go, or he would forever be left wondering.

Besides, there was always the chance that Lily would give him that one date.

As it were, however, some of James' old confidence surfaced just at the wrong time. Maybe it was the false surety Remus himself had invested him with, or perhaps it was just that the boy was not thinking straight, but he had chosen, of all places, to ask Lily out in the Gryffindor common room. Shortly before Christmas break was about to start. On a Friday night. The common room was _packed_.

Peter and Sirius were playing Chess as Remus tried concentrating on a particularly nasty Ancient Runes essay. James was fiddling with the hem of his Muggle shirt, looking thoughtful. He was looking in the direction of the girls, who were either working on various essays, or talking amongst themselves.

Then, quite abruptly, he stood up, making his friends stop whatever they were doing and watch him as he stiffened his back and started walking towards the girls.

"What is he doing?" Peter whispered worriedly.

"Oh, no," Remus mumbled. "He's going to ask Lily out. _Here_."

"_What?!_" Sirius hissed. "Is he _crazy_?"

"I'm afraid to give you an answer, Padfoot. I really am."

The three watched, nearly petrified, as James stopped in front of Lily and asked whether he could ask something of her.

"Of course, James," she replied, somewhat surprised. "Head duties, is it?"

"No. I just…"

"Yes?"

The infamous Potter instincts kicked in. "Go out with me, Lily? Just one date?"

To Remus, and probably to anyone else who realize what was going on, time froze for a moment, as Lily's face twisted into a surprised expression.

"I beg your pardon?"

"A chance is all I'm asking of you, Lily," James said, his voice quiet, but not nearly enough to stop half the common room from listening. "One date. If it's not to your liking - we can go back to the way we were before. It's our last year here."

The Head Girl began shaking her head, as though not believing her ears. "Oh, no, James. Enough with your jokes. Some of them are admittedly funny, but this is not even _remotely_ amusing."

"I'm not joking. I really want to take you out on a date - to try, if nothing else."

She let out a short, derisive laugh. "And here I was, thinking you've finally changed."

"What does that suppose to mean?" he asked, sounding much less sure of himself, and, in Remus' opinion, not a little hurt.

"It's supposed to mean that I told you once, James - I will not date you - not then, not now, not ever," she said, starting to sound panicked, her voice rising ever so slightly.

"I can see you're attracted to me just as much as I am to you, Lily," he said, his eyes narrowing. "This is not my arrogance speaking - and yes, I do realize I have always been an arrogant bastard - I can see there is something between us and that you want it as much as I do!"

"I am _not_ attracted to you!" she denied hotly, but Remus was certain her voice had a guilty edge to it. "I admit that you can be a good friend - I do see that-"

"Then why won't you, Lily?" James said angrily. "We've been working together so well for the past three months - and you have known my feelings for a very long time. Why won't you give me a chance?"

"Because you can never be what I want!" she said wildly, making many heads snap up in surprise. "You can never be good enough! No matter what façade you put on - no matter the mask! - you are still James Potter. I've known you for the past six or so years and I know perfectly well that there is no way that you have changed so completely in so little time! It's just another bloody ploy of yours! I've watched you throughout the years - I saw you playing with people's hearts - why would I want to be just another notch on your belt? Who do you think I am? Some Slytherin slut?

"Why do you have to ruin everything like that?!" she demanded, her voice actually carrying tears. "I really did think you have changed! Why did you have to go and destroy this for me! We were getting on so beautifully, but you had to ruin it, because deep inside, you would always be that insensitive, idiotic, _childish_ prick!"

A stunned silence filled the Gryffindor common room. All eyes were on the Head Students, who stood, staring at each other with burning eyes, on either side of the room. They both looked ready to fight. Then, however, James' whole posture slumped, and the fire in his eyes died out, leaving him cold and distant.

"You know what, Evans?" James said in a quiet voice that made Remus look up at his friend sharply. "I don't care anymore. Think ill of me if you wish, but do keep it to yourself. I won't bother you anymore." And with that he left.

"Congratulations, Evans," Remus said with heavy sarcasm in the silence that fell in the wake of James' leaving, for the first time in two years using her surname rather than her given one. "You've just managed to break him completely. And here I was, thinking you were a good person. So nice of you to have proved me wrong."

Lily stared at him, her eyes wide and confused. A single tear slid down one cheek.

"I only wanted him back the way he was," she whispered. "I only wanted to bring him back."

**Confused much? In case it wasn't quite clear (It was almost midnight when I wrote that part), Lily really _is_ attracted to James, and would have loved to go out with him, but really, she's confused about what she feels and though she admitted it to herself - to some extent - she's not quite ready to take that big step and tell James how she feels. That's the reason behind her little show of panic here… clearer now?**

**I know I promised more cheerful chapters, and they _are_ coming - but I just had to have this big sort of break between are beloved Head Students (which _will_ be fixed - no worries about that, now!) and this seemed to be the best way to do it.**

**Anyhoo, I hope you liked this chapter, and if I failed answering any of your reviews, I am very sorry and will do my best to rectify this failure this time!**

**Hugs and kisses to all - and - _again_ - thank you for bearing with me!**

**-Star of the North**


	29. What Keira Discovered

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** _The Story of Four Friends_ has hit 400 reviews! I love you all for this! Thank you for the wonderful reviews and for the fact that you stuck with this story despite its erratic updates!

So despite saying I will update only next week, I've decided to make an effort because you really deserve it! Thank you! ((grins)) What can I say? Writing this chapter went much more smoothly than I had expected. Of course, a major part of it had already been pre-written _months_ ago (yes, I'm one of those strange people who write random scenes and then play connect the dots with them :) Probably what sometimes gets me stuck, but its fun all the same!), but it was still easier to write than usual. I do hope it gives the lot of you hope about what's going on with Lily and James!

Oh, one other thing. This chapter will also feature some Keira PoV. Hope you like!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Twenty Nine - What Keira Discovered**

James was ignoring Lily. Well, not quite ignoring, but not giving her more than the cursory attention that their work together demanded. In fact, aside of the minimal contact their job required, he was also avoiding getting near her.

Remus had seen him doing the very same thing the year before, only to Sirius. It was also doing to Lily the same it had done to Sirius. James was an expert at making people feel bad at what they did. He sincerely hoped that he would never find himself on the receiving end of James' apathy. It was terrible to behold.

He was polite to Lily, speaking with her as he had before, but there was nothing more to it. No spark. No passion. It seemed as though he finally gave up on the girl he had been chasing for two or so years. And yet, he showed no interest in anyone else.

He was more or less back to himself, more willing to execute pranks than before, though still cautious enough not to leave tracks that would incriminate him, as the Head Boy. He could not afford it, and the Marauders, despite Sirius' constant whining that it was not the same, understood his reasons and respected him for it. He laughed and joked with them, but he never once spoke of Lily.

Once, when he was off on a meeting with Dumbledore, McGonagall and Lily, Peter slipped into the dorm at Sirius' instructions. When he returned to the common room where Remus and Sirius were acting innocent just in case their other friend would come back unexpectedly, the small boy sadly shook his head.

"Nothing new," he reported to the two other Marauders who were waiting for an answer, hoping it would be positive.

"Not even a tiny sketch?" Sirius tried. "A spot of red or green? _Initials_? You know how he used to scribble her initials on exam papers and all that!"

Peter shook his head. "I went through the entire sketchbook and through his notes. Nothing. You don't understand, Padfoot. He hasn't sketched, drawn or painted _anything_ ever since that day. _Nothing_. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit."

Remus and Sirius shared a startled glance. Drawing was James' greatest passion. Did he let it go together with his feelings for Lily? This did not bode well in any of their minds. The problem was, James was also an expert at diverting the subject whenever Lily was even _alluded_ to, let alone mentioned. He simply did not want her discussed.

Remus really _did_ care for Lily. She had been a sort-of friend of his since they had both become Prefects in fifth year, and she had been a great help through many trials and tribulations ever since. And she was a good person, caring, passionate, _loving_. He simply did not understand from where came all that ire against James. A grudge kept did not cover it. There was something more to it, as attested to by Lily's desperate attempts to catch James' attention ever since that day. Something cracked inside his redheaded friend. She had made a mistake, and she knew it all too well. She also knew that unless James _let_ her, she would never be able to rectify it.

Remus could see the pain of it in her eyes.

He could see the emptiness in James'.

Something had to be done.

Soon, however, a different thing that much more concerned himself than anything else, made his mind turn away from that matter. It had to do with that selfsame, miserable fact that had shaped his life since young. His lycanthropy was about to make him wretched again. There was nothing to it. It was now about to take one of the greatest joys he had every year, the thing he most looked up for. He cursed himself for not noting it earlier, for allowing himself to hope that he would have a great holiday, including a long visit at Potter Manor and at Padfoot's Doghouse.

He sat, staring at the calendar hanging by his bed. The month's full moon was marked in a red circle. It drew his eyes to it almost involuntarily. He wondered if any of his friends had noted the date on which it was. Probably not. They trusted him to tell them when and where, as usual. He would not tell them, of course. They had no reason to miss the holidays just because he was unfortunate enough to be inflicted by this damned curse - James had been talking about his plans for the holidays for _weeks_. His parents were planning a big celebration in honour of his eighteenth birthday which would come shortly after the holidays.

He was about to remove the calendar from the wall and hide it, when the door burst open and James entered, his cheeks red with the cold, flakes of slowly melting snow still dotting his cloak. He snatched his hand back, trying to look inconspicuous.

"Speak of the devil," he muttered under his breath.

"What was that, Moony?" James asked somewhat breathlessly, taking off his cloak and shaking it a little before hanging it on the back of a chair to dry, and the leaning his broomstick against the wall.

"Nothing. Is it snowing?"

"Just started. Had to call practice off because it was getting too dark for Andrea to see the Snitch."

Of course he would never call a practice off because of mere _snow_, was what Remus was thinking. What he _said_, however, was, "So where's Padfoot?"

"Being chased around the castle by Keira," James replied with a shrug, starting to remove his gloves, Quidditch robes and wet shoes. "He thought it would be _very_ funny to pelt her with mud mixed with fresh snow. She didn't find it as funny, as you can probably guess."

"Really?" Remus asked dryly. "That's a shocker."

"What were you staring at when I came in? 's not like you not to be reading or doing some kind of essay when you're alone at the dorm. Where's Peter, anyway?"

"You must have missed him sleeping in the common room," Remus said, hoping to speak long enough and quickly enough about their friend that James would forget about his first question. "He still had difficulty to breathe last night because of that hex and he didn't sleep that well - turning and sniffing all night long. He was dead tired all day, in case you hadn't noticed. Fell asleep the minute we came into the common room. I didn't have the heart to wake him, so I left him there to catch up on his sleep. Poor bloke."

"Yeah, but at least he missed Flitwick's exam - you know how he dreaded that. Anyway, you didn't answer my first question - what were you staring at?"

So much for hope. Damn James and his insufferable need to have all his questions answered.

Remus sighed. "I was looking at the lunar calendar. That's all."

"Doesn't sound to me like a 'that's all', Moony. What's on your mind?" James said, holding his filthy Quidditch robes and frowning at him.

"Full moon's on Christmas."

His friend stared at him for a moment, before dropping the robes and nearing the bed. "You have got to be _joking_," he said with an ill expression on his face.

Remus shook his head sadly.

"Hand me the calendar. I will not believe this until I see it with my own two eyes."

Dejectedly, Remus handed the tidy chart to his friend, and watched as James' face clouded.

"Mate, I'm so _sorry_," James said with a sigh. "Christmas, huh? Well, I'll just tell Mum I'm not coming home for Christmas this year."

Remus stared at him. "No, Prongs. You can't do this. Your mum's been planning this for _ages_."

"I don't care, Moony. I'm not leaving you alone to spend a full moon on _Christmas_. What kind of a friend would I be to _do_ that?"

_You'd be a normal human being,_ Remus thought. _Because normal human beings think first of themselves, not of their lycanthropic friends. Normal people don't even befriend werewolves in the first place._

"I can't let you do that," he said out loud. "I don't care what you think you're going to do - you're not missing your big celebration just because of me. I won't have it." His tone was vehement, but he found that he did not care. This was one time that he would not accept James' charity.

"Tell you what," James said, trying to appease him. "I'll spend Christmas Eve with you, then I'll take the Knight Bus home the next day to spend it with my parents, and once you are well enough, we'll come get you to spend the rest of the holidays with Sirius and me. How does that sound? Then you can come to my party anyway, and have a relatively normal holiday!"

It felt like tears were trying to choke him completely. He could barely open his mouth. Why was James doing this? Even after more than six years, he still found it hard to wrap his mind around the fact that James was such a loyal, caring friend. Still, he managed to let out a choked, "Thanks, Prongs," before picking up a book and hiding his face in its pages.

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When McGonagall suspiciously asked James, Sirius and Peter why they were suddenly staying for the first few days of the holidays, the three just shrugged and said that it was more convenient for their families, that they wanted to stay with their friends for a couple more days, or that they needed to do some more research on holiday assignments. Though it was clear to all four Marauders that their stern professor did not buy it, to their relief she decided to let it go.

After hearing that James was going to stay with Remus and for what, the two others adamantly informed Remus that they were staying, too, and that, if Remus was well enough, they would all travel by the Knight Bus to Potter Manor, where they will spend a couple of days before each went back to their own homes, and then meet up at Sirius' flat.

The Gryffindor common room was nearly empty, as was usual during the holidays, and the boys just used it to have a little bit of pure, undiluted fun. They set fireworks to fly around the room, played Chess and Exploding Snap (Once Sirius invented a game he called Exploding Chess, which was vetoed almost instantly after the first time a pawn went ricocheting around the room, nearly beheading a poor, frightened little third year girl), but mostly, talked.

James still refused to hear anything to do with Lily.

Though he had been a little depressed at the prospect of not spending Christmas with his parents, Remus found the full moon to be an exceptionally fun one. As there were nearly no castle residents to be found at Hogwarts, his friends allowed him to roam the very grounds to which they usually forbade his entering in case some fool of a student decided to go outside on a full moon's night. They may have been spotted once by Hagrid, but apparently the big man did not find it strange that three big creatures played on the snow-covered ground outside his hut.

His friends had effectively made best with what they had, making his Christmas a great one, despite the unpleasant circumstances.

As the four friends made their way in the Knight Bus in order to spare Remus the effort of Apparating in his weakened condition, Remus smiled. It was really a great year.

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When Keira Apparated into the Potter property, entering through the back door without knocking, she felt a sense of relief flooding through her. Though she loved her parents dearly, neither of them managed to get over Kelly's death as yet. The atmosphere in the house was repressive at best, depressing at most. Her sister's death had hurt her just as much as it had hurt her parents, but unlike them, she knew she had to go on. Her life did not end with her sister's. She had to go on living, and that included laughing, smiling and enjoying herself like any teenager would.

Coming to her aunt and uncle's was a relief because here there was still reason to smile. Here people went on with their lives despite everything. James' birthday party three days before had been one of the most fun things she had done in a very long while. Aunt Laura and Uncle Gavin had gone all the way with the decoration, the food and the music. There were so many people there - friends from school, distant relations, friends of the family… Even Keira's parents seemed happy for a change, laughing with everyone and wishing James a happy birthday. She allowed herself to hope that now things at home would be better.

But nothing changed. The moment they got back home from the party and slipped out of their fancy clothes, they became the same grey, lifeless people they had been when they left the house. Her mother went back to staring at old picture albums, and her father shut himself in his study. She was so tired of it all.

Shaking her head, Keira found her aunt in the pantry, dictating one of the house-elves what was in short supply and needed to be bought. Her aunt's ginger-streaked silver hair was pulled back somewhat messily, strands falling out of her ponytail, and every now and then she pushed them back irritably. She did not seem in too good a mood.

"Hello, Aunt Laura!" Keira said cheerfully, hoping she was not mad at her for being late. "Where's the prat?"

"If you mean Gavin, then he's in his study. If you're speaking of James, he's been with his friends at Sirius' since the day after the party. He should be back sometime this evening - said he wouldn't miss New Year's Eve since he's already missed Christmas Eve."

The huffing tone her aunt used when saying her husband's name made Keira's ears perk. She discovered more quickly than she thought the source of her aunt's irritation. "What did Uncle Gavin do?"

"He took James out to drink right after the party was over - got completely pissed - and at his age, too! Luckily James is a good boy and knows his limits, so he was the one carting that imbecile home."

Keira did not want to tell her aunt that the only reason James knew his limits was because he had years of experience with his friends behind it, so instead she said, "Dad said you needed help with the western drawing room?"

"Yes. I've been thinking it's time to start using it again, so I had James and his friends paint it when they came by, but now I need another woman's opinion over the decorations."

While Keira was not very fond of decorating rooms and found it a tedious, slow work, she did have a good eye for aesthetics and she did love her aunt enough to sacrifice a few hours for her cause. And so she found herself following Laura down a few corridors and up a staircase to where she knew the western drawing room that had been more or less abandoned for the better part of ten years was to be found.

The reason the Potters had not used it for the past decade was that it was far too complicated for company to reach it, it being so deep into the house. The Southern and Eastern drawing rooms were far more conveniently reached. But now, as Laura soon explained her niece, she felt that the family needed their own place where guests that were not closely tied with them could not enter.

As they walked through the heavy, carved wooden door, Keira could see that the room had changed little since she had last seen it. The carpet was still a light blue and the curtains were still of green silk embroidered with a copper thread. The furniture she remembered, made of mahogany was removed for the redecoration. The only thing that changed was that the once sea-green walls were now a pale cream edged with dark green borders.

There was also another change which caught her eye almost immediately, making her mouth drop open.

The picture above the fireplace was eerily familiar. She had never seen it before, but she would have recognized the style anywhere. It was oil-painted and portrayed her aunt and uncle. It was so detailed and carefully done. She had seen that style often before. On Lily's bedside table.

"Um. Aunt Laura?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Who did that picture?"

"Oh, you noticed the portrait! It's James' work." Her aunt looked very proud as she looked at the picture. "Isn't it wonderful? He worked on it for three whole weeks last summer. He didn't really want me hanging it anywhere, but he's not here to protest, and by the time he gets back he will have no say in it. I'll put a permanent sticking charm on this if I have to, you know. Even my bright little boy won't be able to do anything about it."

"It's…beautiful," Keira managed. "James paints?"

"Didn't you know?" Laura asked in surprise. "Didn't you ever see all the pictures in his room?"

"Aunt Laura. I've been banned from James' room since I was eight. Last time I saw it, it had Quidditch posters all over the walls."

"What! Oh, we can't have that, now, can we? You _must_ see his works - they are absolutely _gorgeous_!"

Heart beating wildly in her chest, Keira followed her aunt up some stairs and down corridors until they reached James' all-too-familiar quarters. All the way up there her aunt was talking cheerfully about what a talented young man James was and how he had surprised them with the portrait the year before, giving it to them for their anniversary. Keira could not believe it.

Could _James_ be the mysterious admirer who had sent Lily all those drawings?

Finally they arrived at James' door, which Laura opened without preamble, and lead Keira to the room beyond.

"I'll leave you to it, shall I?" Laura said cheerfully. "I'll be in the guest room - I want to see if the boys left it in one piece."

For a short while she just stood there, her mouth hanging slightly open. The walls of James' room, that were once a garish red with a gold trim, were now an understated cream with red borders and a thin trim of gold at the edge of those borders. That way no colour clashed with the huge collection of framed drawings and paintings, all in the same style she knew so well, but with a scribbled autograph that could barely be decrypted as _J. Potter_, at the right bottom corner of each one.

Some were scenic views, others were of animals - magical and non-magical - and then, there were those who portrayed people she knew. There were random Hogwarts students, lazing about during break. There were sketches of Quidditch players in mid-flight. But more important than anything else, there were pictures of the seventh year Gryffindors. All four Marauders lounging in front of the common room's fire (how on earth he had managed to depict himself so accurately, she did not know); the girls laughing over some magazine on the grass by the lake, accurate to the smallest detail - she practically remembered the day as she caught sight of the magazine's cover; Remus with a broken egg on top his head, glaring murderously at Sirius who was clapping Peter on the shoulder in mirth; Keira frowning over a chessboard; Lily sleeping on a sofa; Lily and Haley playing cards; Lily shouting at an innocent-looking Sirius; Sirius making faces behind Lily's back as Remus rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

There were so many pictures of Lily there. She no longer had any doubt. Her mind was reeling at the sheer magnitude of what this meant. She opened her mouth to call out to her aunt and ask her if she was certain that James was the real artist, when footsteps came from the hallway and James' voice called, "Mum? Leaf said you went up here. Are you trying to sort through my Muggle clothes aga-"

Dreading what she might see, Keira turned slowly to face her cousin. Since he had gotten through his growth sprout the previous summer, she resented the fact that she had to look up in order to speak with him. She was so used to _him_ looking up at _her_. And he knew it and taunted her repeatedly. But right then she was thankful for that. The single glance that she got of his rapidly paling face and the horror in his eyes would last her a lifetime.

"I'm-" she started, not quite certain what it was she wanted to do. Apologize for entering his room uninvited? Demand to know if he really _was_ Lily's secret admirer? Tell him off for not telling her this? It seemed as though he needed none of that. There was a pleading look in his eyes - something that did not settle well with the James Potter she knew. He had never looked so pathetically terrified in his entire life.

"You can't tell her!" he blurted out, washing away any doubt that Keira may have had concerning the identity of Lily's admirer. "Please, Keira! You can't tell her about this!"

"James-" she began softly.

"Please…" he said again, his voice soft and almost defeated. It seemed as though he thought that she held his very life in her hands, and in a way, she knew she did.

There were a thousand things she could have said. A thousand threats, a thousand ways to blackmail him. But it did not feel right. She did love her cousin, no matter what anyone said or thought. So instead, she simply asked, "Why?"

He flinched, but then looked confused as the word filtered into his mind. "Why what?" he asked, cocking his head to one side.

"Why have you been sending Lily those things? Is it because you want to make fun of her, or because you truly care for her? She's my friend, James - I'm not going to let her get hurt because of you - any more than she already is. Why are you doing this?"

"I… I…" he began, unsure of himself. Then his shoulders slumped and he made his way to his bed and sat down with a sigh. After a while in silence, he looked up at her. "Do you really want to know?" he asked softly.

"Yes," she said without hesitation, her eyes fixed to his. "I want to know."

"Then listen closely, and don't try to kill me before I'm done."

Wondering why he would ask her that, Keira pulled the chair from under James' desk and sat down, crossing her arms and legs, her eyes not leaving his.

And so he told her. He told her how he began sketching pictures of Lily not long before he realized that he had something for the redheaded girl, how he watched her more closely, trying to capture her spirit and her character in every drawing of her he made. He told her how Sirius had stolen one of his drawings from his sketchbook - that very first drawing that had been sent to Lily on Christmas two years before - and enchanted the writing on it, sending it to Lily without James knowing. He told her how angry he had been, how he had continued making pictures of Lily despite it and how Sirius stole more of the drawings in order to send them to her. He told her how he had deliberately began making specific drawings for Sirius to steal and send and how he thought none of the others quite realized he was not really angry at his friend for doing so. He told her everything, and, at last, she finally felt she really knew her cousin.

"So what you said to Lily right before the holidays…?" she started when he was finally done.

"I was lying through my _teeth_, Keira," he said with a sigh. "I'm still as much into her as I was two years ago. I just… I'm tired of her rejecting me, and I can see she doesn't feel the same for me as I do for her. If pretending to be indifferent is what she needs, then this is what I will do, even if it does tear me up inside."

She looked at her cousin. He looked tired, older than he actually was. There were many things that were weighing down his narrow shoulders, and the situation with Lily was not helping him at all. She also knew that it was not his fault at all, but that of her best friend, who would not admit even to herself that what she felt for James was not dislike. Far from it, really.

In a way, what went on in Keira's mind as she watched her dejected cousin remove his glasses and rub his temples, was a battle of loyalties. On the one hand, Lily was her best friend and her Comrade-in-Arms in the ongoing battle against the Marauders and everything they stood for. On the other hand, however, James was her only cousin, her playmate when young and the person she knew protected her behind the scenes from all the smarmy types that tried getting a date with her. Though sometimes he was overprotective, and more than often obnoxious in more than one way, she loved him more than anyone else in her family, barring her now-dead sister.

She had to decide on whose side she stood. Looking around her, desperate for inspiration, she got it almost immediately. Her eyes got stuck on the dozen of framed paintings and drawings that decorated James' room, specifically pictures of Lily. She knew whose side she was on. A slow grin spread on her face as she glanced at James. She definitely knew whose side she was on…

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Keira Palmer was a girl with a plan. A very bright plan, even if she had to say so herself. She would even enlist the aid of the other three Marauders if she would have to, but she would bring the whole sorry affair to an end, sooner or later. Better sooner, she conceded.

And so she invited herself to Lily's house on New Year's Eve, supposedly to celebrate together with her friend, but in truth, to ask her one crucial question that would determine whether she had cause to continue with her brilliant plan or not.

They were both sitting in her room, going through Lily's records and trying to decide which one to put first on the gramophone downstairs in order to effectively annoy Petunia, Lily's sister, who called everything Lily liked 'a terrible noise'. Thinking her friend was more than enough distracted, Keira brought up the question.

"Lily?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you give me an honest answer about something?"

"I can try," Lily said, quirking an eyebrow. "What's on your mind, Keira?"

"It hurts you that James is treating you this way, doesn't it?"

"I…" the redheaded girl hesitated, finally admitting, "I suppose it does. I guess… I guess I'm used to his worshiping the ground I walk on, you know? I… I guess I miss the attention, see?"

Keira frowned. "Do you really miss the attention, or is it James that you're missing?"

Lily looked up. "What are you asking me, Keira? Quit going around in circles trying to say it."

Keira smirked, happy that her friend had fallen into the trap she set so easily. "You like him," she said, and then ignored Lily's spluttered denial, which came a fraction of a second too late.

_She liked him._

**So? Now what? James knows Keira knows he is: 1) Lily's secret admirer, and 2) That he hasn't exactly given up on her like he lets everyone think. The cousins had a little bit of bonding, Remus had been miserable and then quite happy, Keira is nosy and Lily finally admits that, yes, she does like our little Jamie-poo. Sort of :)**

**Fun days ahead, people! What shall we have in the next chapter? (and yes, I am quite aware of the fact that I've forgotten to put that part in the previous one). Keira and Lily stumble on a little secret they weren't quite supposed to find out, people are enlightened, Remus wants to hit Sirius over the head (but when is _that_ new?), and Lily gives the lot of us hope! All this and more, in… ((dramatic drumroll)) … _The Walls Have Ears_!**

**See the lot of you _hopefully_ next week (I use that word quite a lot, lately)!**

**Love you all!**

**-Star of the North**


	30. The Walls Have Ears

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Hello, everyone!

Before we begin, I would like to present to you:

_**THE SAGA OF THE PAST FEW WEEKS!**_

It started with my computer crashing down some three weeks ago - it died on me quite suddenly, which meant, to my horror, that I may have lost the document of _The Story of Four Friends_. The document had over 400 pages of the story, so you can imagine my panic. Luckily enough, the story had been restored in full, so no worries! I still have the old written stuff - no need to start from scratch at all. I guess you could say I was very relieved ;)

So that's that.

This chapter was in parts not very easy to write. I even had to write some of the scenes backwards because that was the way my inspiration went :) Don't ask. This chapter has quite a bit of dialogue, a lot of high emotions running around, but do not lose hope! The very end of it, I can guarantee, is good :)

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirty - The Walls Have Ears**

When the seventh year Gryffindors returned from their Christmas holiday, Remus knew something had changed. For one, Keira looked all too smug whenever she glanced either at James or at Lily. For another, James looked practically _horrified_ whenever _he_ looked at his cousin, as if he feared she would explode at any given moment. And as for Lily… Well, she just looked much calmer than she had been before the end of term.

The most fascinating thing, however, was the tension between Keira and James. Remus knew that something had gone on between the two during the holidays, and he definitely wanted to know what and why. By the suspicious look in Sirius' eyes and Peter's constantly raised eyebrows, they wanted to know, too.

And so they ganged up on their friend the first night back, backing him into a corner at their dorm, leaving him no space for escape.

"Erm… Have I done anything to upset you?" their friend asked, truly baffled.

"It's not what you _did_, but what you are _doing_," Sirius replied cryptically, but surprisingly quite to the point.

"Huh?"

Though apparently, it was not quite to the point to James, who honestly had no idea what was going on.

"You act around Keira as though your very life depended on her mood and whim," Sirius clarified.

"You've never acted as though she was a bomb about to explode before, either," Peter added, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes.

Remus shrugged as James pleadingly looked his way. "Don't look at _me_ for help, Prongs. I'm just as curious as they are. Something happened between you and Keira from the time we last saw you right before New Year's, and now. You can have one of two ways, you know. The easy way, which means you tell us now and spare yourself anymore trouble, and the hard way, which means you're going to tell us anyway, but after long and continuous torture which might include everything from tickles to hexing you into pieces and putting you back together over and over again until you do. So? What will it be?"

James gaped at him. Sirius and Peter also stared at him for a moment - the latter apparently in disbelief that those words had actually come out of Remus' mouth, and the former with certain pride.

"Err…" James finally let out. "The easy way?"

"Wise choice, my friend," Sirius said gleefully, pulling the flabbergasted boy towards one of the beds and settling him down on it. "Well?"

"Keira knows," James said without preamble.

They all looked at him questioningly.

"She knows about the paintings," he tried to clarify.

They continued to silently look.

With an exasperated sigh, James burst. "She knows about the paintings. _The_ paintings. The _Lily_ paintings. Get it?"

This finally got a reaction from the three Marauders cornering him.

"How the hell did _that_ happen?" Peter was the first to find words to describe what they were all thinking, only a second quicker than Sirius, who let out a, "WHAT?!"

Remus sighed. "You know it was bound to happen, don't you?"

James nodded, his shoulders slumping. "Yes, but I hoped it would be _after_ I let Lily know, and that won't happen now, will it? Not after what happened between us before the holidays. And as for how it happened, she came into my room by Mum's invitation right before New Year's Eve. Seeing as she had seen the drawings we've been sending Lily, she of course connected the dots and made sense of the whole thing."

"Will she tell?" Sirius asked, his expression becoming serious.

"I don't know," James said broodingly. "Why?"

"Because if you don't want Lily to think anything of it in the probable case of Keira telling her about it, I could always say that I stole them from you without your knowledge - which would be half-true, anyway," Sirius replied.

"That's very noble of you, Padfoot," Remus said dryly, "but then it will give rise to the question of why did Prongs draw Lily in the first place and it would put him in an even tighter spot."

"Thanks for being so helpful, Moony," James said with quite a bit of sarcasm underlining his words.

"Always here to help," Remus said without thinking, but then caught himself and added, "Really, though, I'm sure we can think of something. For one thing, we could send Padfoot to weasel it out of Keira - whether she intends on ratting you out or not, that is."

"Won't that be a dead giveaway?" Peter asked, frowning. "That Prongs is afraid of her telling? That would make for nice blackmail material to hang over his head at any given time."

"She already knows it," James said, but his eyes lit up a little. "Maybe your idea would work, Moony. The least it could do is giving me a little peace of mind, without all this wondering if and when the bomb will fall."

And so, ten minutes later, Peter, Sirius and Remus found themselves about to corner another fellow Gryffindor, only this time it would be trickier, since the Marauder's Map showed Keira to be sitting together with Wren and Rowena at the library.

Remus had his misgivings about leaving James alone in the dorm, but their friend assured them he would be fine and would not try to sabotage their attempt at convincing Keira that it really would be in _her_ best interests not to tell Lily about James. They decided to go all together, since it would seem more important to Keira, having all three of them, begging her not to tell.

"Palmer?" Sirius called softly to catch Keira's attention when they finally made it to the library. "Can you come over for a moment?"

Keira looked suspiciously at the three waiting Marauders, and then glanced at the twins, who both seemed to tell her, "Go on," with their eyes. Finally, and with an exasperated sigh, she got up from her chair and approached them.

"What do you want?"

"Just wanted to make sure you're not about to tell Lily about James and the drawings," Sirius replied, straight to the point.

She raised an eyebrow. "Why should I do anything you ask of me?"

"We're not asking," Peter explained before Sirius could answer and possibly ruin everything. "We just wanted to know what you're about to do with this information. James needs to know whether you're just biding your time until you tell her or if you really intend on keeping it to yourself."

"Are the four of you complete fools?" she asked scornfully, though in a hushed tone, glancing back at the twins who were looking curiously their way. "He's my _cousin_. No matter what, my loyalties are with my family. No matter how he annoys me, James is still family. Of course I'm not about to tell Lily about it. Now leave me alone! Being in the same House with you damages my reputation enough without my actually having to _talk_ to you." She huffed and turned back to her friends, but then stopped in her tracks and turned her head back to them. "Besides," she said, "I have reason to believe that the darling Miss Evans is not impartial to his charms anymore… But don't tell him that or his head might explode."

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With James assured that his cousin was not about to blab out his secret, the second school term seemed to be a very good one. Of course, whenever anything seemed to go well for the seventh year Gryffindors, something always had to go wrong.

On this particular term, Flitwick talked about a very complicated weather spell which was supposed to create a localized rain cloud over a parched field or a garden. They studied the theory, which was very complex and not very clear, even to the Marauders, who had tackled some of the most complex spells and charms the wizarding world had to offer.

It was halfway through January when their tiny professor said that within a week they would be attempting to make the spell work, in a controlled environment somewhere on the school grounds.

Remus and his friends were, of course, thinking about trying the spell out before the class experiment. It sounded like a very good one to achieve, and so they sent Remus, the least suspicious of them all, to the library, to bring back a book that was all about weather spells. He had just found the book he was looking for, when a group of five girls walked past him, completely missing his presence.

It was not _his_ fault that they were talking loudly, now was it?

"You think the Marauders will try this out before Flitwick says we're ready to progress from theory?" Wren asked, catching Remus' attention.

"Of _course_ they'll try it before," Lily said scornfully. "They're like little boys, not waiting to get permission or the right sort of guidance before they try anything. They just like doing things the hard way and that's why they will get burned."

"Dunno, they might manage it," Rowena said doubtfully. "You know how they are. They think nothing is beyond them. For all we know, they may be planning to use it on their next prank - they _have_ used weather spells in their pranks before."

"They wouldn't be able to pull such a spell if their _lives_ depended on it!" Lily laughed. "They think so much of themselves, that they're incapable of accepting that they're not invincible!"

"They probably don't even see it as arrogance," Haley said, grinning. "They'd say it was natural talent or something and that since it's true it can't be arrogance."

"Idiots," Keira agreed shortly, looking somewhat distracted.

"We know they're idiots, Keira," Wren snorted. "They've been proving it again and again in past years. But that doesn't mean they are _untalented_ idiots. They could still pull it off."

"Nah," Haley said, shaking her head. "I agree with Lily. It's most likely beyond them."

And at this point the conversation strayed to other subjects. Remus tuned them out at that point, but he made sure to tell his friends about that conversation when James and Sirius came back from their private one-on-one Quidditch match and Peter got back from detention (given to him by Slughorn for forgetting to do his Potions essay for the fourth time that month). Their responses, naturally, were outraged.

"Who do they think they are?!" James growled. "Unable to perform the spell if our lives depended on it!"

"We should wreak vengeance on them for being so disrespectful," Sirius said with a tone of finality, eliciting solemn nods from the others.

"Definitely."

"Of course."

"Would be wrong to ignore it."

Remus should have been the voice of reason, but for some reason, he just did not have it in him to stop his friends this time. The girls had insulted the lot of them - not only James and Sirius as was their wont, but also Peter and himself. For once, he would not stand between the seventh year Gryffindor girls and the Marauders. This time, he would join them heartily and get even. Who knows, he thought, it might even be fun.

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Keira, Lily, Rowena, Wren and Haley were walking together on their way to lunch on Sunday as they usually did, having spent the morning at the common room, playing various Muggle card games, talking and laughing. If they thought it weird that the Marauders were nowhere to be found that morning, they did not show it. Most likely it never entered their minds.

The second floor corridor was a wonderful place for ambush, the Marauders had discovered years ago, but they rarely used it, because then the prank would be executed on someone completely random. And so their plan had to be very carefully worked out and put into place.

Subtle direction spells, long ago found in dusty, mostly unused, tomes at the very back of the library were placed at various junctions of corridors and staircases, all leading the girls through the sometimes used route that took them through the second floor corridor. Had they been in a smaller group, or perhaps a little more alert, they probably would have noticed the spells, or at least would have thought that something shifty was going on, but it was Sunday, and they had not seen the Marauders the entire day, so they did not worry.

Not a very wise thing to do, with four, vengeful boys after them.

They were not expecting it, and so it came as quite great a shock when, without warning, a dark grey mass began gathering over their heads, becoming darker and thicker with each passing moment. They did not even notice it, though others in the corridor did, and backed away from what appeared to be an imminent _very_ localized storm.

The first to notice that something strange was going on was Wren, on whose nose the first drop fell. She stopped walking, making her twin bump straight into her.

"What's wrong, Wren?" Rowena asked, looking worriedly at her frowning sister.

"I think I was just hit by a drop of water," the other girl said, looking up. Her face blanched, making the others look up as well.

Lily had just enough time to say, "What on _earth_…?" before their own private rain cloud began pouring down on them with a vengeance.

They tried running away from the storming cloud, but it did not help. The Marauders had attached the spell to all five of them. Even if they separated and ran in different directions, the cloud would split and follow them all. It took quite a while to set it up, but the watching Marauders were quite happy with the result.

"Think we've shown them our abilities, my friends?" James asked softly.

Sirius looked about ready to protest, probably to say that they should keep it going for a while longer, but Peter cut him off before he could get a word out of his mouth. "I think it's been going on long enough. We've shown them what we're capable of."

Remus nodded furiously, starting to suspect that they may have just brought the girls' wrath upon their heads. "I agree."

Shrugging, with a slight smile on his lips, James drew out his wand. While it took all four of them to put the spells in motion, it only took one to take it off.

"_Finite Incantatem_," he murmured, and the rain stopped pouring, the cloud disappearing.

For a moment the girls stood, bewildered, not understanding what was going on, but soon they turned to the sound of uproarious laughter coming from the staircase to their right. Soaking wet and with water constantly getting into their eyes, even their best angry faces only made them look more like drowned rats than before.

High up on the staircase, the Marauders were standing, completely dry and laughing their arses off at the misfortune of their fellow Gryffindors.

"What do you think now, Palmer?" Sirius hollered. "Are we good enough with that spell, now?"

Keira's face turned red at that and she shook her fist threateningly in their direction. "We'll get back at you for that, Black! At the lot of you!"

"Oh, yeah?" Sirius called, grinning madly, making Remus wish he could somehow silence his friend without a wand, seeing as his was somewhere at the bottom of his bag. Then again, he could simply hit him over the head. Hard. "You have nothing on us, Palmer! And you know we can counter anything you do!"

"Don't worry, Black!" Lily growled, pushing back a soaked lock of red hair out of her eyes. "We'll find something - you'll see!"

With that the girls trudged away, their shoes squelching, their clothes dripping, all five muttering angrily among themselves.

"I'm not sure this was a very good idea," Remus finally told the other three as they watched the girls' retreating backs. "They look serious about getting back at us."

"They paid the price of laughing at the Marauders," Sirius said indifferently. "Besides, what _can_ they do to get back at us? I wasn't kidding when I said we could counter anything they throw at us."

"Even when we're least expecting it?" Remus asked. "Even when we sleep? You forget, Padfoot, that the girls have free access to the boys' dorms. And I don't know about the other four, but Keira _does_ have something hanging over our heads - or at least over Prongs' - the whole drawings business."

"She wouldn't!" James was suddenly taken aback, his cheerful face darkening. "You said she said she wouldn't!"

"She _said_ she wouldn't, but that doesn't mean she can't go back on her word. I don't know, Prongs. You know your cousin best. Will she or won't she?"

James shook his head. "She wouldn't. I'm sure she wouldn't. Keira's not like that, no matter what I did."

"Then we'll just have to wait with baited breath and see what evil plan the girls will come up with."

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Some things simply could not be left to fade on their own. There were boundaries that should not be crossed.

And there are things that a girl just cannot ignore.

Though Keira knew Lily genuinely liked James - admitting it only to her, naturally - that deed could not go unpunished, and her red-haired friend agreed wholeheartedly. They had to find blackmail material - something to hold over the boys' heads in order to make them do as the girls wished.

For a moment, a single moment, a fleeting thought had entered her mind, that maybe she could threaten James to tell Lily about his secret and end it all on her own, but soon enough she realized it could not happen. She was not that kind of a person - to go back on a promise, especially since it meant so much to her own cousin and because the attack on the five of them had not been exactly unprovoked - no matter the certainly sneaky way the Marauders heard about the slight to their abilities. And besides, the others would be suspicious, and they deserved their revenge as well. It had to be something else.

And so, two days after the incident, Lily and Keira found themselves sneaking up the boys' staircase, bent on finding something - _anything_ - that could be used to that end. The others refused to go on that excursion. They said that it was far too risky, and that in all probability the boys would catch them in the act, bringing their vengeance on the girls' heads. And so it was that the two best friends were alone on this mission, determined to execute it perfectly. They would prove that the Marauders were not invincible.

Walking on tiptoes, hoping that none of the Gryffindor boys had stayed in the dorms, sick, they inched their way up the few steps leading to the seventh year dorm. Praying that the hinges would not squeak too much, Keira took hold of the handle and gently opened the door. The sound those blasted pieces of metal made caused both her and Lily to wince and freeze in their place, waiting for the shouts of outrage to come. Had any of the Marauders been there at the time, they would have shaken their head sadly and comment about the amateurish way the two behaved. One should _never_ look accountable, even if one was perfectly aware of one's own guilt.

After a moment that felt hours long to Keira, she gulped and pushed the door open the rest of the way. Sliding inside in a hurry, she stopped, horrified, only to be bumped by the edgy Lily who was close behind her.

"How can they _live_ like this?" she let out in clear disgust.

"I… I don't _know_," Lily replied, her eyes wide as saucers.

The Marauders' dorm was like a localized disaster area. There were things there that the girls could not even _recognize_. Clothes were strewn every which where, empty wrappers of sweets (those of chocolate frogs predominant among them), filthy plates that were obviously taken from the kitchens without permission (though Keira would never admit knowing that, nor would Lily, since that would point out that they were perfectly aware that it was quite possible getting food from the kitchens after hours), Quidditch equipment, opened books, Quidditch magazines, several Muggle magazines with the pictures of motorbikes on their covers, crumpled pieces of parchment and everything else from school supplies to prank items that would not do as blackmail material since everyone knew they were there.

Sharing a deep look of revulsion, Keira and Lily started sifting through that huge pile of… well, whatever it was.

An hour later, the two girls were getting quite agitated at the lack of incriminating evidence in the mess that was the Marauders' dorm, and just as they were about to quit, something happened to change it all. In fact, it was such a momentous finding, that though the girls did not realize it at that specific moment, it would shape the rest of their lives quite differently.

Lily was about to head towards the door, ready to give up, when her foot entangled in something that lay amidst the mass of dirty clothes and crumpled parchments of the floor, sending her flying into the bed Keira knew to be James'. The force she hit the bed with was just enough to dislodge the mattress slightly to the right. It was enough to uncover something that had been hiding there for about two years.

"Hey, Keira!" Lily called from next to James' bed, where she was still sprawled, brandishing the bound stack of parchments she had just unearthed with her fall from the space between mattress and bedstead. "I think I've found one of James' old mischief plans! A couple years old in the least, but as far as the teachers are concerned, punishment in the Marauders' case is retroactive. Potential blackmail material or not?"

"Let me have a look," Keira said, taking the book-like object from her friend. The front bind was labeled _Ani. Res. Experi. Rec._ "The only thing I can make out of the title is 'Experiment Record', and even that's uncertain," she said with a frown. "But it's definitely his handwriting, so let me leaf through it for a second."

Then she started leafing through the book, her frown deepening with every random sentence read. She had no trouble deciphering her cousin's writing, for as flawed as he was, James' handwriting was, she grudgingly admitted, practically beautiful. The records in the book, however, were written in semi-stenography unique to him, and therefore she was not certain of what exactly it was she was reading.

_"Approx. av. 29-30 days break bet. trans."_

_"Double trans. Month every 3__rd__ y. month undeterm."_

_"lycan. not danger to animals lycan. not danger to ani. Make sure of that."_

_"Moony must STOP inventing exc. Has no talent doing so. Should let S. do it for him."_

_"Cr. Lcwing - 1 C."_

_"Stir 36 times anti-clo'."_

_"tsp. Mntic. Bile - flat."_

_"May have used too much Mntic. Bile."_

_"Bic. Tail stale. Can't use."_

These undecipherable, seemingly random sentences made Keira feel as though she had stumbled on something that should have been left untouched. "Lily?" she said softly, closing the book and handing it to her friend. "Take a look. I don't think this is a prank plan. I think this is much, _much_ more serious than that."

"No," Lily agreed after looking at a few pages, her face pale. "I know what this is."

"Oh?"

"It's a step-by-step research of Animagi transformations."

"Worse," Keira suddenly realized, her eyes searching one of the lines again, as she was rereading the pages over Lily's shoulder. Her voice shook, making Lily look around at her, alarmed. She could not believe it. It was too horrible to comprehend. Wren would be devastated. "It makes many references to lycanthropy." Here she pointed at the word 'lycan'. "One of the Marauders is a werewolf."

The two girls exchanged glances. Then, as one, they both said the first name that came to mind.

"Remus."

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"I can't believe I've been so _blind_!" Lily said, pacing back and forth in the empty common room.

Keira frowned at her erratic behaviour, but did not dare interrupt her, knowing that when in such mood, Lily Evans tended to be explosive. Finally, after a long struggle with herself, Keira gulped and asked, "What do you mean?"

With a great expelling of breath, Lily sank unto one of the plushy armchairs in front of the common room's fire. "He practically _told_ me, and I was too blind to notice it!"

"Who, Remus?" Keira asked. "Remus told you he was a werewolf?"

"No! James!"

"James is a werewolf?" Now Keira was wholly confused.

With an exasperated wave of her hands, Lily shook her head. "No. That he is an Animagus. And here I was, thinking that he memorized all those details in order to impress me again! What a fool I had been! He couldn't have possibly known all those details by heart if he had not been one!"

"Lily, what _are_ you talking about?" Keira asked.

"The Animagi research we did for Transfiguration before Christmas! James and I got an O with commendations, remember? Well, I didn't want to admit it to McGonagall, but I barely did _anything_. James did most of the work - Merlin!"

"But… But… That's _impossible_!" Keira spluttered. "They're _seventeen_ - or eighteen, but that doesn't matter! It must take _years_ to do it without the proper instruction and supervision of a real Animagus!"

"Keira…" Lily whispered. "Remember what I told you? When I found the parchments? That it looked at least a couple of years _old_. They've been researching this at least since fifth year. We probably can't even imagine how long it's been going on - or how long it had taken them to succeed."

"We don't know they've succeeded," Keira tried. "It might have been abandoned for two years, now. Maybe they gave up?"

But even to her own ears it sounded an empty hope. James would never give up if he wanted something so badly. And considering everything they had read, the Marauders wanted this _very_ badly. They wanted to help a friend in need. "They didn't do it because they wanted a challenge," she mumbled, somewhat to herself. "They did because they wanted to help Remus."

"But… That's crazy! It's illegal, and James knows it pretty damn well! When we worked on the project it was one of the very first questions I asked when he challenged me to quiz him! He didn't even _flinch_ when he said it was a minimum of five years in Azkaban."

"Apparently they got accustomed to the idea that this was the price for what they were intending to do. Think it over for a moment. Knowing the Marauders, and considering you said those parchments looked a couple of years old, it's most likely that the research was _done_ two years ago, that they managed becoming Animagi sometime in fifth year. They can't have been working on it for less than two years. Untutored - even the Marauders couldn't pull a thing such as that in less than two. That means that by the time you and James had that little chat, he had known the price and come to terms with it for a very long time."

Keira looked at Lily, whose eyes were wide and stared right back at her. Suddenly Keira found it hard to swallow, the magnitude of what her cousin had done hitting her hard.

"We can't tell this to _anyone_," she told her friend vehemently. "Not the twins, not Haley - _no one_. If we so much as leak this to someone else, it will be all over the school and they will be thrown to Azkaban and Remus might get terminated."

"No one," Lily agreed, looking terrified. "I swear."

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Ever since the prank played over the girls, the Marauders had been expecting payback. It never came. Still they remained on the lookout, fearful that maybe they were lulled into a sense of security before the girls would give them their comeuppance. Yet it never came. Lily and Keira gave them strange looks every now and then at a certain point, and he was quite certain that their expressions were a little pitying whenever they looked his way. Maybe he was just being paranoid.

As an attempt to ignore said paranoia, Remus kept a close watch on the girls, trying to stay alert and ready for their response, but as he did, he noticed something else. James was also keeping a close eye on someone. Unsurprisingly, that someone was Lily. Everywhere she went, his eyes followed. And it was not like the way Remus was watching all the girls. Despite everything, James still wanted at least Lily's friendship.

Remus resolved to tell him to do just that. They worked together. They could not stay hostile.

The perfect opportunity came one day as the seventh year Gryffindors were making their way from Greenhouse Five after their Herbology lesson. Remus could see James' eyes following Lily, as the redhead walked a short distance away from them, chatting with her friends. There was desperation there, as well as sadness and passion. Remus was quite certain that his friend was killing himself inside, not approaching her.

"Maybe you should talk to her - straighten things out," he suggested without preamble.

"I probably should," James said, nodding. "I don't really like the way things are between us at the moment."

"Just… Don't do it in front of everyone this time, I'd suggest."

"I don't repeat the same mistake twice."

As it turned out, though, Lily did not have the same self-preservation.

As James caught up with the girls, he called out to Lily in order to catch her attention. Apparently she had seen something in his eyes as she turned, for her expression became wary and not a little panicked. Without knowing why, Remus had the feeling that something bad was going to happen. A panicked Lily was not a rational one. She would do something stupid, which they will all regret sooner or later. Probably sooner, seeing as she would probably misunderstand James' motives.

It took less than ten seconds for everything to blow apart.

"If you're about to ask me out again, the answer is still no, James," Lily said tiredly before the Head Boy could so much as open his mouth to speak.

For a moment he opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. Finally it snapped close, now set in a grim line. "What makes you think I came by for that? Maybe I came to ask something concerning our _duties_? Remember _those_? And if we're at it - what the hell makes you think I'm still interested in you, Lily? You've turned me down dozens of times, so why should I go on?"

"Because you're stubborn," she said confidently. "You never give up. It's in your nature - proud and sure of yourself. You can't _take_ defeat." There was a certain, twisted compliment in her words, even if she did not realize it. "That's why I know you haven't given up. Besides - I can see it in your _eyes_, whenever you look at me."

And Lily called _James_ arrogant?

"Oh, and you think you know me so well, do you, Lily?" James asked somewhat tauntingly, though everyone who really knew him could tell he was masking hurt feelings. This was obviously dangerous ground.

"Don't you _dare_ take that tone with me, Potter! I can see exactly what goes on in that head of yours!" She practically _hissed_. The fact that she called him by his surname should have raised an alarm in Remus' mind.

"Oh, yeah? And what is it that you can see about me, _Evans_?"

"I can see your mother never bothered to teach you manners and common courtesy!"

"And how would you know what manners I've been taught?" James snapped. "You were raised a Muggle!"

"You! Why, you-! You're prejudiced just like the rest of them! You think that because your blood is pure, it's better! You're - You're just like Snape!" she burst.

As soon as the words left Lily's mouth, two things happened. The first was that James' face shut off entirely, his features suddenly freezing and his eyes looking as though they could cut through flesh and bone. The second was that Lily realized what she had just said, and clamped a hand over her mouth, horror in her eyes. She stared at James, wide-eyed, waiting for his response.

It was not verbal. James simply turned his back on her, and without a word walked away. Exchanging worried glances with Keira and the other girls, who were standing right behind Lily, the Marauders hurried after him, trying to catch up with his quick, wide strides.

"James - she didn't mean it. You know she didn't!" Sirius said quietly when they drew level with him, right at the doors leading into the castle. "You upset her and she retaliated. You _know_ she doesn't think that."

"Apparently she does, or she wouldn't have said _anything_," James said wildly. "Leave me alone, Sirius. I can't handle this right now."

"Maybe we should do as he asked," Peter whispered to Remus timidly. "I don't think we want to piss him off right now."

"Probably not," he whispered back, and reached with his hand, stopping Sirius from walking further alongside James. "_Stay_," he muttered.

James walked a few paces without them before he stopped, glancing back, bitterness and pain etched into every line of his face. "I can't believe I ever fell for that girl," he said angrily, stalking off, probably to some empty classroom where he could brood and be alone. Sirius wanted to go after him, but Remus shook his head. "Let him be, Padfoot. For once, let him get over it himself."

"But-" Sirius began, obviously frustrated.

"You can't help him. Not now. Not with this. This is something he has to go through by himself. If you try and help, it might only become worse than it already is."

Sirius bit his lip for a moment, which was quite out of character for him, before he nodded. "All right, then. But if he doesn't come back by midnight, I'm going after him."

"Suit yourself," Remus shrugged. "I'm going to dinner."

At dinner, Lily tried to weasel James' whereabouts out of the Marauders, but all she got from them were shrugs and grunts. While she probably thought them to be either rude or simply protecting their friend, the truth of the matter was that none of them knew precisely where James had gone to sulk. The Map was at the dorm, but none of them seemed to have the urge to go and check it, either.

That evening, long before midnight, as Remus was helping a desperate third year with his homework, James stormed into the common room with Lily close behind him.

"James, wait!" she called out desperately. "I didn't mean it that way!"

James turned to her furiously. "Then what _did_ you mean, Lily? Because to me it sounded pretty much like that! You said I was no better than Snape - how can I take it in any other way?!"

Remus supposed that Lily had finally managed to find James in his secluded hiding place and tried to explain that afternoon to him. He also supposed that it just was not working.

He watched carefully as Lily fumbled with her words, her fingers clenching the hem of her Muggle shirt, and finally fell silent.

"Leave me alone, Lily," James whispered in the silent common room. Then he turned a started walking towards the boys' staircase and the dorm.

For a moment Lily stood there, gaping at him, before she said, completely oblivious to the entire roomful of Gryffindors who were watching at her and James in growing interest, "Wait."

James stopped walking, but did not turn. Remus had an uncanny impression of the year before and of Sirius chasing James, trying to make him understand.

"I know that you're angry with me, James," she said softly to his back. "And… you have every reason to be. I was an idiot, and I said a few very inconsiderable things. Which were wrong. You _have_ changed - I can see that now. I was trying to ignore it, to keep a hold on my grudge - but… I can't pretend it's not there anymore. Because I'd be lying to myself, and worse, to you.

"For the longest time I've been thinking - about how you changed. At first I thought it was just depression over your cousin's death, and maybe a bit of guilt, but as the months passed… I think I can see now that you've changed because it was time for you to grow up, and that you didn't fight it, you took the challenge on and made yourself a new person, or rather, the same person, only more complicated and more mature. And I missed it. I blinked for a moment, and you were a different person, so I refused to see it. I thought I was protecting myself. I thought I was protecting everything I worked to build in six or so years.

"Turns out I was wrong. All I did by ignoring it is to hurt myself, and hurt you, and that was the one thing I didn't want to do, because, no matter what, you are a good person, and you didn't deserve that from me. I'm sorry, James. I really am sorry."

For a moment he was silent, before the stiffness in his shoulders disappeared. He sighed. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to admit it, Lily," he said softly. "I thought that this is what I wanted - just your admission that I _did_ change - that I would be content knowing that you see the real me and not some… some _bully_. But it seems as though I was wrong thinking that. It's no longer enough. It's not enough, and I don't know if I could handle it."

"Can we… at least try?" she asked in a small voice. "Can we at least try and be friends? _Real_ friends?"

He shrugged, continuing to walk towards the staircase. "Whatever you wish, Lily."

"Oh, and James?" her soft voice carried all the way to his retreating form. "I wouldn't mind it very much if you would take me to Hogsmeade next week."

**Well! Now that **_**that**_** has finally happened, enter the good days! Hope you liked this chapter. I'm pretty proud of the part where Lily and Keira discover all about the Marauders and Remus, even if I **_**did**_** make it a little obvious last chapter that this was what was about to happen.**

**So, what's next? Lily and James - the saga continues! (Only in a good way) Remus sees a few things that will scar him forever, a tiny bit of Keira and Sirius (hopefully - depends on whether they cooperate or not) and mayhem galore!**

**If you'll be very good, I'll even update by Saturday :) Be nice. It was my birthday last week.**

**Love you all!**

**-Star of the North**


	31. True Form

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Well! Though I did not update last Saturday like I said I would, I have very good excuses… I think :)

This is a rather short chapter, but the next one will be quite a bit longer and cover more time. I don't really have anything else to say, just wanted to give all those who reviewed a big **THANK YOU**, because I didn't get the chance to answer all the reviews for lack of time. I _will_ answer them next weekend - I promise. For the time being, just know that I read all the reviews and greatly appreciate them!

Now, on with the story!

P.s. I'm dying to go to sleep now, so if you note mistakes in spelling or grammar - my apologies… I was just too tired…

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirty One - True Form**

When Remus finally made his way to the dorm about half an hour after Lily's momentous suggestion, he found Sirius staring at James with his mouth wide, and Peter grinning from ear to ear. Apparently, his entering the room broke some sort of spell, because as soon as the door closed behind him, Sirius let out, "I can't believe I _missed_ that!"

James, who was standing by the window, his face shrouded in the shadows cast by the curtains of his four-poster, remain silent, though Remus thought he could detect the hint of a smile on his lips. His friend seemed more relaxed than he been in days, if not weeks.

"When are you going to ask her? Hogsmeade weekend is in-"

"Three weeks," James said, cutting Sirius short. "I know. It would be petty of me to wait for the last possible moment, and hiding the fact that I was very eager for her to finally say she will by waiting for a few days would be stupid. She knows how I feel, and I won't make her feel cheated by playing with her feelings. I'll ask her tomorrow. We were supposed to meet tomorrow anyway for Head duties and that sort of stuff, so I might as well do it then."

"Ask her when you finish with the mundane stuff," Sirius wisely suggested. "Better put that aside before you reach the… err… more _passionate_ stuff." There was an evil glint in the dark-haired boy's eyes. The hint of a smirk was on his lips, carrying extra, not-so-innocent meanings to the word.

James refused to rise to the bait, his grin widening. "You're probably right, Padfoot. I think I would do just that." Then, humming cheerfully to himself, he went back to the door, opened it, and said, "I think I'll go for a run. See you later!"

Sirius gaped at the closed door for a moment, where James had been only a moment before. The expression seemed to be set permanently on his face for a few moments, before he exploded.

"Has Prongs gone completely crazy? He must have! What does he _mean_ 'going for a run'? It's pitch-black outside, freezing - not to mention that if he's caught outside, Head Boy or not he'll get to trouble! Has he gone off his rocker? And what does he mean that I'm probably right? I'm always right! He _knows_ that! And-"

"Since when do _you_ care about getting into trouble, Padfoot?" Peter asked. He had walked to the window during Sirius' rant and was staring intently outside. "Besides, I don't think we have to worry about Prongs getting into any trouble."

"Huh?"

"Here. Come have a look," Peter replied, nodding toward the dark outside.

Quickly, Remus and Sirius joined him at the window. Outside, just leaving the faint circle of light surrounding the castle, coming from its various windows, was a four-legged shape, running to its heart's content. Prongs was out that night, and it was not a full moon.

"I guess he's really happy," Sirius said softly, with a strange look in his eyes. "It's about time."

Sirius was relatively quiet as they got ready for bed that night. He did not crack jokes or threw anything at anyone. His eyes seemed troubled and kept glancing at the door, waiting for it to open and bring James in.

"What's the matter?" Remus finally asked tiredly, pulling his covers up.

"Are you sure we're not going to lose him because of this?" Sirius asked, the answer freely coming from his mouth. Remus was surprised. He was sure he would have to coax it out of him.

"Haven't we had this conversation or something like it, years ago?"

"Probably. It doesn't change anything, though. He's changed for her. What's to say that he won't change further and won't be our Prongs anymore? This year has been hell already because of this change of his and Kelly's death. I don't want it to happen again."

Remus knew that nothing he could say would sate Sirius' greatest fear, but he had to try to at least calm him down somewhat. "Think, Padfoot," he said. "Think of all the years we've spent with James. Has he, in all these years, been anything but a loyal, caring friend? You know him better than that. And you know very well that despite the fact that you stretched your friendship thin in the past-" neither needed to be reminded how that happened, "-and even broken it, he is now still your friend and that friendship is only becoming tighter. Now, tell me, Padfoot. Do you _really_ believe that he is going to stop being your friend just because he has Lily in his life now? Or are you just clinging to old insecurities?"

Remus was an expert on insecurities, and so he felt he knew what he was talking about. He watched Sirius for a few moments as the other boy contemplated his words. Then, he said, "Think it over, and tell me what conclusion you've reached in the morning." With that, he closed his drapes and went to sleep.

He did not wake when James entered the room, almost an hour before dawn. In fact, he slept better that night than in a very, _very_ long time.

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Despite having slept very little that night, as was attested by his red-rimmed eyes and constant yawns, James was in a very good mood. Some might even call it a hyper mood, Remus reflected, as he watched his friend energetically stuffing himself full on breakfast the next day. Ever since Peter shook him awake, James could barely sit still for more than a few moments. He spoke once again at a very great rate, which reminded Remus of the first time he had met him, on the train ride at the beginning of their first year at Hogwarts. No one was able to stop him. Even Professor Binns, who rarely noticed anything aside his notes, raised his head in surprise as James shot him one question after another - often before the poor ghost had a chance at replying the first one.

By the time dinner came about, however, James seemed to run out of energy and become more serious and calm. When it was quarter of an hour before his intended meeting with Lily, he was already in his Head Boy pose, ready for what was to happen that evening.

Speaking of Lily, Remus had kept a close eye on her the entire day. Her eyes almost never left James, and more than once he caught her biting her lower lip worriedly. She barely spoke a word to her friends, and if she found James' behaviour strange, she did not say it. She was tensely awaiting his response to her invitation of the night before. Remus wondered if James even realized that.

"Are you leaving now?" Sirius asked James from his seat by the fireplace, where he was quite blatantly eyeing Keira's form. James' cousin did not notice that as she discussed something with Haley.

"Yes. Stop ogling my cousin, Padfoot."

"Why? Are you going to hit me?"

"Me? 'course not. She might, though." And with that James called over the noise of the common room, "Coming, Lily?"

Lily's head snapped up at the sound of her name. She looked a little startled, a bit hopeful and quite terrified before she got control over herself and rose to her feet. "Yeah. Wait a second." She then nodded to her friends and met James by the portrait hole.

The Marauders waited in silence for a few minutes, before Sirius said, "You think they're there yet?"

"Almost," Remus said, glancing at someone's wristwatch that was lying on a table a few feet away. "Why?"

"Let's get the cloak and the Map," Sirius said cheerfully, ignoring the question.

"Padfoot…" Remus started warningly, but knew, from the glint in Sirius' eyes, that it was a battle already fought and won. He sighed, rising to his feet. The least he could do was to make sure Sirius would not do something stupid, such as jumping from beneath the cloak at the most unfortunate moment and shout, "Go get her, Prongs!" or something of the sort. He exchanged a helpless look with Peter, before following Sirius to the dorm.

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"Wormtail! Stop moving like you can't hold your balance!" Sirius hissed at their shorter friend. "My foot just got pushed out of the cloak because of you!"

"It's not his fault, Padfoot, and you know it," Remus said, thinking that this was a _very_ bad idea. Why he had agreed to it when he knew Sirius' ideas were normally bad was beyond him. Or rather, he was trying to pretend it was beyond him, while knowing very well that he was just as curious as his friend.

"Are you _sure_ this is a good idea?" Peter whispered wretchedly as he was jolted yet again between his two taller friends, echoing Remus' thoughts to some extent. The three of them were crouched underneath James' invisibility cloak, trying to be quiet as possible as they made their way to where the Map said Lily and James were, working on their duties. The cloak was getting to be a bit crowded, now that they were all almost fully-grown.

"Of course it is," Sirius said nonchalantly, consulting the Map again, checking for the telltale dots of Mr. Filch and Mrs. Norris, his infernal cat. "It's our duty to see that Prongs does not make any stupid mistakes."

"And how precisely - oof! - And how precisely will we _stop_ him from doing - ouch! - any stupid mistakes, when we're invisible and - gah! Ahhh! - You stepped on my _foot_! - and Prongs doesn't even _know_ we're coming?"

"I don't bother with such petty matters," Sirius replied loftily, making Remus snort. His friend had not idea what he was doing. He was playing on pure instinct, and the possibly misguided belief that James would not hurt the three of them greatly if he realized they were there.

It took them longer than anticipated to get to the classroom where they knew James and Lily always held their meetings. The door was closed.

"Do you think it's locked?" Peter asked, his voice trembling.

"Not likely," Remus said quietly, shaking his head. "But it's closed. There's no way we're getting in there without Prongs knowing immediately that we're there."

He should have known better to utter the words _there's no way_ in Sirius' range of hearing. The mad twinkle in his eyes was back. With vengeance.

"Might as well try," the taller boy said with a wink. "Stay close and make sure nothing sticks out."

Making their way to the door in the half-crouch needed to keep them entirely covered, they finally got there. Firmly, Sirius grasped the door handle, and, as quietly as he possibly could, he pulled the door open quickly and suddenly, as though it was merely pushed by a nonexistent gust of wind. They had a timeframe of seconds before their friend or Lily would get up and close the door. They needed to enter without being felt.

The Head Students were hard at work, each writing something on a parchment while examining various papers from two big piles in front of them. They were not looking at one another, but there was no feeling of tension or anything uncomfortable between them.

"What was that?" Lily asked distractedly, glancing at the now-open door.

"Probably nothing," James replied with a shrug, getting up from his seat in order to close the door, nearly brushing against Sirius' side of the cloak as he passed. "You know how the castle does strange things every now and then. And it could be Peeves. He's been sulking for a few days now ever since the Bloody Baron gave him an earful about nearly decapitating McGonagall."

She nodded, getting back to her work.

The Marauders under the cloak all breathed somewhat more freely now. If James was not worried, then they could probably still get away with it. Inching their way as silently as they could, they finally settled at a corner, half-crouched in order to make sure the cloak covered every bit of them. Apparently they made no noise, since James did not so much as raise his head during their journey.

They had no way of telling how long they stood there, watching Lily and James work in silence, but after a while, Remus noted a change in Lily. While she certainly _pretended_ to work, her quill barely touched her parchment anymore, and she kept glancing at James, who looked engrossed in his work.

A few times she opened her mouth as if to say something, but ended up clearing her throat or coughing. A look of frustration crossed her face when James failed to pay her any attention. Finally, though, she seemed to have had enough. Determinedly, she put down her quill and stared intently at her companion.

James still did not look up.

"James?" she tried

"Hmm?" he asked absent-mindedly, frowning at the paper he was examining.

"You look… tired today."

"Haven't gotten much sleep last night," he replied, at long last raising his head and smiling at her. "Had a lot to think about before tonight."

"What happens tonight?" she asked, though to everyone in the room, including herself, it was obvious that she knew precisely.

"Oh, I don't know," he said casually. "Thought I might ask you out on that Hogsmeade weekend you mentioned. Could be fun."

Remus winced, waiting for Lily's outrage to come. She probably expected a much better scene. He was quite surprised when she started laughing.

"Yeah," she said lightly. "I suppose it _could_ be fun."

"So how about it? You, me, Sirius trailing behind to see what happens, with the others in tow because he somehow managed to convince them that it's a good idea…"

Remus almost choked on that.

At this Lily laughed even harder. "You sure know how to offer a girl a good time," she said. "Fine. You, me, at Hogsmeade in three weeks. But leave the Marauders at home, or I might hex them."

James grinned back at her. "I think I might help you on that. Think we're done for the day?"

"Probably, seeing as I finished going over my pile half an hour ago and you having finished about ten minutes earlier than that. I'll see you tomorrow in class, then. Good night, James."

"Good night," he said, laughing. "Don't worry about the papers. I'll gather them up and bring them to Dumbledore tomorrow morning."

She nodded, picked up her bag and left, closing the door after her. The Marauders all stood frozen in their corner as James gathered the parchments in a tidy pile. He appeared to be intently listening to his soon-to-be date walking away.

"Heard enough?" he asked in satisfaction once Lily's footsteps echoed away.

Guiltily, the other Marauders let the cloak slip from their bodies.

"How did you know-" Sirius began.

"Doors rarely open on their own in this castle, Padfoot," James said in amusement. "As strange as it is, it rarely happens. You're lucky Lily's quill was making horrible scratching noises, or she would have noticed your footsteps. Besides, I figured you'd come. Why do you think the cloak and Map were so conveniently placed at the top of my trunk? I don't much appreciate the mess you make when you go through it."

Remus felt incredibly foolish. None of them stopped to ponder over the fact that those prized objects of theirs were placed in clear view of anyone coming into the room, at the top of James' open trunk. He also realized that James knew the lot of them all too well. Wryly, he started laughing.

"I guess we were being obvious?" he asked James, who smiled.

"All too obvious. But I don't mind. She said yes. Had she said no, I would have had to kill you for having been here to witness it."

Remus believed him. "So? Are you really going to hex us if we tag along?"

"As sure as I would hex Snape if I saw him coming up the corridor," James said sincerely.

"I think we should avoid them completely on the weekend, don't you?"

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After that first Hogsmeade weekend, it seemed to Remus that Lily and James were almost inseparable.

During that day at Hogsmeade, their hands almost never left each other. Though the other Marauders did not quite trail behind the couple (though Sirius certainly _did_ suggest it), they made sure to casually bump into them every half hour or so, until James sighed, asked Lily something and then suggested they would all head to the Three Broomsticks for lunch.

Remus was quite happy to see that Lily sat very near James while they ate. He also noticed that James was eating with only one hand, and so was Lily. Dropping his fork to the floor, he hastily ducked under the table, to see that James' hand was on Lily's knee, and that her own hand was covering James'.

He made sure to erase the grin on his face before he straightened, murmuring an apology.

James and Lily seemed to hit it off quite well. After six years and several months of fighting nonstop, the fieriest rivals in the entire Hogwarts history were together. Everyone seeing them during that Hogsmeade weekend had to admit that it was mightily strange, watching the Head Boy and Girl walking hand in hand, or with their arms about each other, laughing, smiling and sharing looks.

Watching them from afar near the end of the day, as they sat together on the grassy slope not far from the Shrieking Shack, Remus had to admit that they looked good together. There was something proud and strong in them both. They were both stubborn and easily angered when certain matters were broached, and they were often angry at one another. And yet they were exactly right for one another.

He smiled to himself as he watched them, James with his arm around Lily's shoulder, their faces very close together as they spoke softly about something that made the redhead laugh and James' face redden.

"What are you looking at, Moony?" Peter asked, noting that he stopped walking.

Remus nodded at the faraway couple, guessing his friends' eyesight did not allow them to notice the little expressions on the couple's faces. Peter looked, as did Sirius. They both grinned at Remus.

"I think we did a good job on him," Peter said, feigning fatherly pride.

Sirius gave a small sniff, dabbing at his eyes for nonexistent tears. "Our little Prongsie and Lady Lily are all grown up and together!" he said with tearful passion.

Remus rolled his eyes, thumping them both soundly on the head. "The two of you are twats. Did anyone ever tell you that?"

The two boys looked ready to answer, but thought better of it when they noticed Remus' murderous expression.

James and Lily did not come back to the common room until long after dark. When they did, Lily looked flushed, and James satisfied. Sirius tried to convince him to share what went on between them after the other Marauders left them alone outside the castle, but James merely smiled and said, "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."

"But you're no gentleman!" Sirius protested, pouting. "You're a no-good Marauder!"

"I'm both a Marauder and a gentleman," James said, his grin widening. "So you'd better deal with it."

They got nothing more of him that night, but the fact that after that day he disappeared quite a bit at random times told them everything they needed to know. And though Sirius pouted and mumbled things about James leaving them for a _girl_, Remus often caught him smiling softly as he watched the newly-created couple holding hands in the corridors.

Not that everything was sunshine and roses for James and Lily. The Slytherins took great pleasure at shouting vile curses at them and speculations at what they did during their Head meetings. After a particularly insistent Slytherin fourth year got viciously hexed by James for calling Lily a Mudblood and himself a Blood Traitor, the teachers got involved, making sure that all students knew that anyone caught saying such things on the Hogwarts premises by any teacher would receive three months of detention and perhaps suspension - depending on the severity of the words and the mood of the teacher.

James got into a little bit of trouble with Lily because of the hexing, but it was nothing serious, as Remus was soon to discover.

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He was looking for James one evening, not long before the full moon. Sirius had suggested they would plan that month's excursion, but James was nowhere to be found. He also had the Map with him, which meant they could not find him by using it. Peter suggested they would split, thus covering more ground and increasing the chance to find him.

He just walked past the library when he heard the sound of a chair screeching on stone floor coming from one of the deserted classrooms not far from it. Sighing, he went towards the door, knowing that it was his duty as Prefect to break off whatever was going on there, and knowing just as well that he did not have the patience to deal with now.

He opened the door, a cross sentence of rebuke already prepared, but froze in his tracks, words forgotten.

It was probably one of the most advanced of the snogging sessions he had ever had the chance to witness in his duty as Prefect. He had gotten quite an eyeful, which he did not really want.

He really did not need to see that, he thought, his face pale, turning his back on the scene in a hurry. Really, there were some things that should be left unknown, and seeing your best friend intensely making out with his six-years-enemy-turned-girlfriend, unbuttoning her blouse, was one of them.

As quietly as he could, Remus Lupin, his cheeks flaming red, hurried passed empty corridors and stopped only when he felt he was at a safe enough distance from the heavily making-out couple. There, at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower, he leaned on the wall, breathing deeply and with some difficulty, trying to regain a semblance of calm.

Remus had no experience with girls. Of course he knew what a relationship entailed, and had caught several couples in the act during patrols just after lights-out, but he had never gotten such an eyeful. He was a normal young man, with normal desires, and not once he wished he could experience what Sirius kept on blabbering about, but there was that tiny little furry problem of his that had to be taken into account.

He could not risk anyone else knowing his secret. The staff and the Marauders were more than enough. So that ruled out any serious relationship, since he felt that no secrets should be kept from one's girlfriend - at least not that sort of secret. He had tried explaining it to Sirius once, but his friend merely shook his head, laughter in his eyes, and told him he was much too idealistic and that he should lighten up.

Somehow, none of Sirius' flings had really made him wish he could be with someone. Seeing James and Lily together, however, after James' long, insistent chase, made him feel certain sort of pain deep inside. He really wanted to have something like that in his life - something so fiery and true that it made everything else pale in comparison. Even if their relationship will not last - something which he thought unlikely, if not impossible - they would still have the memory of it.

He suddenly found himself desperate to have that as well. Sinking down to a sitting position on the floor, he felt bitter tears welling up in his eyes. It was almost a foreign feeling. He had cried so little in the passing years that he was not used to anything leaking out of his eyes.

Closing his eyes against those tears, he brought up the images of all the girls he found attractive or likable, that he knew and also knew that they probably liked him back in one way or another. They were all nice, intelligent girls, but prejudice did not skip intelligent people. It was only made worse in them, for they would try to justify it with reason. No. There was no way for him, Remus Lupin, a werewolf, to ever find a girl who would accept him for what he was.

He felt empty. Completely and utterly spent.

That was how Sirius and Peter found him almost an hour later, sitting against the wall, staring at nothing, eyes open and dry. When they asked what was wrong, he shook his head and said that everything was fine.

Everything was always just _fine_.

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Remus and Peter came back from the library on Sunday, having worked on a Potions essay together. They both were not particularly good in that class and so had to work extra-hard on everything set for it.

They found Sirius, James, Lily, Keira and Wren sitting on the floor of the common room, looking through an album that held James' photographs of their Hogwarts life. Most of the pictures were of the Marauders, but there were some of the girls (taken without their permission, naturally), and of teachers in embarrassing moments. Remus wondered what made James take out the album.

"Lily's found the album when she came by the dorm to ask why I was late for the meeting with Dumbledore," James explained, understanding what Remus meant by raising his eyebrow. "She asked to see it, and Keira and Wren sort of tagged along."

Shrugging, Remus sat down by the others, as did Peter.

Suddenly, Lily looked up from the album and straight at him. Then she leafed through it for a while and looked up at him again. She repeated the process several times. Just as Remus was beginning to run out of patience, she let out a small laugh and grinned at him. "Heh, would you look at that?" she asked.

"What?" Remus frowned, trying to get a clear view of the album that was resting on Lily's knees.

"You can actually see the change in you over the years, Remus," she said, laughing. "In the picture from first year you were stooped and had your hair covering your face, and as the years go by, you can see how you stopped slouching and how your hair started getting pushed back. You really _were_ trying to hide yourself during first year, weren't you?"

"Err…" he mumbled, not knowing what to say. He could not risk letting something slip. First year was before the Marauders knew his secret. It was the year he had truly tried to hide and be as nondescript as possible. He had even tried to hide from his friends, fearing they would realize what he is.

From his seat, his arm comfortably placed on Lily's shoulders, James chuckled. "Oh, what you don't know, Lily, is that Remus here used to be a very shy little boy. Took the lot of us a year to get him out of his shell and release his inner prankster."

"I will pretend I did not hear that coming from the Head Boy," Lily said with a small grin. "Not to mention a Head Boy who had been over a head shorter than Remus here, when he had been a 'shy little boy'."

James hollered his outrage over the laughter of the others.

Remus grinned. Really, it was good to have friends.

**A wee bit of Remus angst, but really, did you think the boy has no hormones? Not bloody likely! Well, as you probably guessed, that promised Keira/Sirius stuff got bumped to the next chapter (really!), because it just didn't fit here.**

**In the next chapter: Keira and Sirius, more Lily and James, the Marauders lose a prized possession and James receives an offer that he can't possibly refuse… Stay tuned for the next chapter!**

**Love you all!**

**-Star of the North**


	32. Seeing is Believing

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Yay! I'm on time! I'm dead tired, but I'm on time:)

Well. That's all I have to say today.

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirty Two - Seeing is Believing**

Life was wonderful. For the first time in a very, _very_ long time, Remus truly believed it. He had his friends, they were all more or less happy, and James and Lily were finally together after three or so grueling years. If only there were no NEWTs around the corner… It was the beginning of April at Hogwarts, and the seventh years could practically _smell_ the coming exams. Piles upon piles of essays were to be handed for marking, mock-exams were dropped on them at every turn, classes became nothing more than drilling ground, with the teachers attempting to revise as much of the curriculum as possible with the students.

As usual for exam season at Hogwarts, people burst in spots, tentacles and colours. Many students were sent to the Hospital Wing for various degrees of calming potions and one Ravenclaw had to stay in bed for three days before Madam Pomfrey deemed her stable enough to continue studying. James and Sirius cruised through revision time easily, often looking bored as was their wont. Remus was faring a little less well, but still found time to enjoy himself. It was Peter they were worried about, since the small boy was near the point of cracking.

"I can't do this anymore!" Peter shouted one evening, catching the lot of them by surprise. He was surrounded by books and a multitude of notes and it seemed that no one but him was studying anymore. His hair was all over the place, James-style, from pushing his hand through it in frustration, there was a streak of ink down one of his cheeks, and his eyes were wild.

James, who had Lily on his lap and was having a lively conversation with her and with Wren, who was looking rather weak and pale, the revision having taken a toll on her, said, "Calm down, Wor- Peter. Would you excuse me, Lily, Wren?"

The girls nodded and Lily slid off his lap. James rose to his feet. "Come on, Peter, Remus. Let's go find Sirius."

"What do you have in mind, Prongs?" Remus asked once they were out of the common room.

"Just a little bit of sneaking around to lift Wormtail's mind away from his troubles. Know where Padfoot is? He took the Map earlier and didn't say where he was going."

Remus shrugged, looking at Peter, who looked a little uncomfortable.

"What?" James asked pointedly.

"He had a fight with Keira earlier," the smaller boy said with a sigh. "I caught them yelling at each other down at the dungeons. I left my Potions book at the lab and I found them there."

"Again?" James asked in exasperation. "They're fighting all the _time_ lately. It's like they are _trying_ to make each other angry. Just last week Sirius snogged Amanda Laurence right in Keira's face, and the day before Keira sent a Bludger Sirius' way during practice! I can't risk my cousin killing my best friend and vice versa! Does any of you any idea what is going on?"

They both shrugged.

Finding Sirius, it turned out, was not an easy task. In fact, when they finally _did_ find him, it was quite by mistake. Because the person they found was not Sirius. They found Sirius because they found Keira.

"-think that's going to satisfy me?" her familiar voice reached their ears as they passed yet another deserted corridor. It was late. Almost all students were already in their common rooms. "Not in a million years."

Then there was a gasp, and the sound of something heavy hitting a wooden object.

"Much better," Keira's voice said, sounding uncharacteristically breathy.

Remus, having patrolled Hogwarts' corridors many a night, recognized those sounds only too well. He wondered if James did. Glancing at his friend, he saw him frozen in place, his lips working soundlessly as more breathless noises came from within the classroom beyond the door. Then his expression became set and he took two long strides that brought him directly to the door.

He did not burst in. He did not run in shouting. Neither did he knock nor did he call out his cousin's name. He simply opened the door and stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and his face blank. At the moment the door opened and revealed the occupants, a certain twitch of his jaw told Remus he was _very_ upset, but that was it. He just stood there, watching, with Remus and Peter right behind him. Peter's mouth dropped open, and Remus' eyes bulged.

The two inside did not realize they were no longer alone until James cleared his throat, expression still blank.

"Erm…" Sirius said, one hand entangled in Keira's hair and the other somewhere between their bodies. Neither of them could be called 'properly dressed'.

"Why, hello, James," Keira said, her face reddening. "Remus, Peter."

"Sirius," James said quietly, "get off my cousin. Keira, sort yourself out and go back to the common room."

"Who do you think you are to boss me arou-" Keira almost managed to say an entire sentence before James cut her off with a sharp bark, of, "NOW!"

For what must have been the first time in her life, Keira obeyed. Buttoning her blouse back up, gathering her hair back in a ponytail and straightening up her skirt, she left the room without a backward look at either of them.

When her footsteps faded away, James let out a held breath and passed a weary hand over his eyes. "I'm going to pretend I didn't see any of this, Padfoot," he said, "because I know that you are not in a relationship with her. Because I know that for both of you it's just a game. Fighting during the day and snogging during the night. I don't know for how long it's been going on, and I don't really care. Just… do me the favour and _never_ let me catch you at it again."

Then he got out of the room, allowing Sirius to get his clothes back in order. Peter followed him, but Remus stayed and asked, "How long _has_ this been going on, Padfoot? I'm just curious, you know?"

Sirius shrugged. "Since last year, I suppose. Been going at it more often these past few months. It's just a way to relieve pressure, you know?"

Remus did not know, but he understood Keira and Sirius' motives. Neither of them wanted a real relationship. They wanted a no-ties, no strings attached sort of thing, and found it in each other. He thought that James understood that as well, but did not accept it so readily. He did not want to see Keira hurt. He did not want to see _Sirius_ hurt. They both had the power to hurt one another, and James did not want to see it happen.

James never spoke of it again that year.

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It was the Twenty Eighth of April, 1978. It was to become one of the dates that would forever be remembered by the Marauders, and for no good reason.

Having decided that they had not preformed a worthwhile prank in far too long, the four boys made their way one night, shortly before lights-out, away from the library. They had spent most of the afternoon looking for some obscure spells that would make it harder for the teachers to find counter-spells in a hurry. Their findings were very few, but they had an idea brewing, and so they considered it a good day's work.

They planned on continuing to a secluded place where they could go on plotting in peace, when James, who was holding the Map in hand, hissed, "Filch is coming this way!" He then stuffed the Map hurriedly in his pocket, just as the Hogwarts caretaker turned a corner and found them.

"Well, well, well," the man cackled. "What have we here?"

"Good evening, Mr. Filch," James said urbanely as he possibly could. "We were just on our way to the common room. It's almost time for lights-out."

"You think I don't know that, boy?" Filch sneered. "I've been watching you these past few days. You think I can't see that you're scheming again? You think that I am unable to notice that you are about to play one of your _pranks_? The teachers have had enough of you and _I_ have had enough of you."

"I really don't know what you're talking about, sir," James said sincerely. "We've been in the library - studying for our exams."

"I'm sure you were in the library and I'm sure you were studying, but in no way have you studied for exams. I know you too well. Empty your pockets," Filch growled, his flaring eyes fixed on the four boys.

"Certainly, sir," James said easily, though by the tension in his shoulders Remus could tell that he was trying very hard to remember whether he had erased the Map or not.

Slowly, led by James, the Marauders started removing everything they had in their pockets. Filch examined each and every object as it was introduced to him and casually dropped to the floor separating him from the boys. They all held their breaths when the last item finally found its way out of James' pocket.

They breathed somewhat more freely once they could see the Map looked to be a simple piece of parchment. James held it out to Filch, who was immediately suspicious.

"What's this?" he asked, waving the obviously often-folded parchment under their noses.

"Spare piece of parchment, sir," James said without missing a beat. The expression on his face was nothing less than helpful. "I always carry one around in case I'll need it."

"In case you'll need to spell it against your fellow students, of course!" Filch spat.

"What? No! Of course not! In case I need to write something down, of course!" James was hiding well the fact that he and all his friends were anxious about that specific parchment.

Filch looked at him suspiciously, but his hand began to descend in order to drop the Map together with everything else they had in their pockets.

They never knew whose face gave it away, because they were all concentrating on Filch and the Map in his hands. They never knew what he had seen on their faces that caused his hand to retract, his face contort in disbelief, and his voice say, "I don't believe you. This is going with me. I'm confiscating it."

"What?" James stuttered. "But it's just a piece of parchment! And it's blank, to top it! You can't take that because you _think_ it's suspicious!"

"I'm the caretaker of this school, boy," Filch growled. "I can take whatever I want from you if I think it's dangerous. And I _do_ think this is dangerous. Now go to bed! Go!"

Ashen faced and on edge, the Marauders did as told, walking away, but glancing back at Filch and their most prized possession every now and then.

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"I can't believe he took it," James mumbled inconsolable. "I just can't believe it."

The four boys were in the common room, sitting together, all in various degrees of mourning. James was completely limp in his chair, his head shaking from side to side every now and then. Sirius sat with his elbows on his thighs and his face in his hands. Peter just stared at the wall opposite. Remus looked at his hands, thinking back of all the nights he spent, carefully tracing the lines onto the parchment. So many hours of concentration, so many times James criticized his work… All for nothing.

"What's going on with the four of you?" a voice said beside them, startling Remus out of his bitter musings. Raising his head, he saw Wren and Rowena standing before them, holding books close to their chests. They had apparently just got back from the library and noted the Marauders' mood. "You all look as though your dog just died."

Remus half-expected Sirius to say something tasteless like, "I'm sitting right here," but it seemed that the spirit of teasing went even out of him in the wake of that horrible event. What he did say, from between his hands, was, "Never you mind. It's none of your business."

The twins exchanged glances, Rowena, the one who had asked the question in the first place, glared at Sirius, and then they left, leaving the Marauders once again by themselves. It was only now that Remus realized what a wide berth they had been given by their fellow Gryffindors ever since they came into the common room that night. Though there were many empty seats between them and the next seated members of the House, none of the students coming in opted to sit there. It was as though the four of them sent an aura of depression that no one wanted to share.

Finally, one of them stirred.

"We have to get it back," James said, his voice hoarse. "We have to get it back even if it's the last thing we do. We spent so much time on that Map. There's no way I'm losing it to _Filch_ of all people."

"Yeah, and how do you suppose we do that, Prongs?" Sirius said bitterly. "It's not like we know what he did with it. It's not like we can just waltz into his office and…" his voice trailed off as he noticed Remus' eyes glaring at him.

"What is this defeatist's tone doing coming from _you_, Padfoot?" he said softly. "It won't be the first time we broke into Filch's office and probably wouldn't be the last if we can't find the Map. Prongs is right. We spent far too much effort and passion in this little piece of parchment. I'm not going to give it up just like that - and neither are you."

After much glaring, the Marauders set into action.

Their first plan, simply breaking into Filch's office that night, failed spectacularly. They did not have the Map, and so had to rely solely on James' cloak. They had close brushes with two teachers and Mrs. Norris before arriving at Filch's office, only to discover him there, perusing the blank piece of parchment that was most definitely their Map. They waited there almost the entire night before realizing he had no intention to leave. Defeated, they went back to the common room. None of them got much sleep that night.

The next day there was no one at school that could not see the Marauders were troubled. Having them walking the corridors, looking like ghosts, with dark circles beneath their eyes made many people on edge. Lily tried coaxing the reason for this out of James, but failed.

That night the boys were out again. This time, they sent Peter into the office in his Animagus shape. Filch was in the office that night as well, but luckily enough had apparently given up on the Map. Unfortunately, no matter how hard Peter looked, he could not find the Map. Worse, even, for when Filch saw him, he started throwing heavy things on the poor Rat, trying to squish him. The Marauders had to retire for the night in order to let Peter rest his nerves.

They tried _everything_. They begged Peeves for his help in attracting Filch's attention and then ransacked his office. They went through every drawer and shelf, but found nothing aside of various torture implements and cat food. In a final act of anger, Sirius left an unpleasant gift to the caretaker, in n a final act of anger, Sirius left an unpleasant gift to the caretaker, in the form of two dozen dungbombs strategically placed around the office.

He also took the bag of cat food.

It did not matter, however. The Map, they came to realize, was forever lost.

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Despite the painful loss of their beloved Map to Filch, life went on for the Marauders. Classes went on as planned, as did patrols and Quidditch practices. Hufflepuff beat Slytherin around the start of May, which meant that Gryffindor, having defeated Ravenclaw in the semi-finals, would face the Badgers in the final match at the very end of the month. Though the loss of the Map was certainly still on all their minds, Sirius and James gave their all to Quidditch, with James scheduling practices at insane hours of the day, at all weathers, and Sirius practicing his Beating on a mock Bludger in the Marauders' dorm, causing quite a bit of damage that Remus, with the help of Peter, repaired with sighs of resignation.

On a fine spring morning, on the Saturday before the Quidditch final, Peter finally managed dragging Remus to the pitch to watch James and Sirius practicing. Until then he had always managed finding an excuse not to go, but this time he just did not have the heart to refuse his friend. He _did_ bring a book along and spent most of that time reading, however, though he did occasionally peek in order to see if practice was going well for his friends. They talked of nothing but the final against Hufflepuff's exceptionally strong team for the past two weeks.

It was only when Peter elbowed him lightly to catch his attention that he noticed the strangers amongst the Gryffindor spectators who had come to watch and enjoy that morning's show. There were two men and a woman, wearing nondescript robes, holding pale-blue clipboards and conversing quietly among themselves as they kept their eyes glued to the flying figures up in the sky.

"Who're those?" Peter asked, nodding in their direction.

Remus shrugged. He had never seen anyone like those three on any of the other practices or matches he had ever seen in his Hogwarts years. He glanced about him and spotted a Gryffindor fourth year names Paul whom he knew by name, but not personally, sitting several feet away from them. A Quidditch fan for certain by the avid expression on his face. They might as well ask him. Making up his mind, Remus got up and, followed by Peter, made his way for the boy,

"Morning, Paul," he said politely, nodding at the boy who scarcely paid any attention to him. "Have you any idea who those people are?"

With some difficulty, Paul detached his gaze from the flyers and paid a cursory glance to the three strangers. He was about to shake his head and get back to watching the game, when his eyes snapped back to the three, widening in surprise. "Talent hunters, I'd bet," he said in awe. "Must be here for Potter…"

And indeed, now that Remus was watching, all three's eyes were fixed on the energetic, commanding figure that was James. He was certainly at his best that day, racing from one side of the pitch to the other, shouting order, cheerfully congratulating team members for a particularly good save or shaking his head at Sirius' antics. Yes. They were certainly watching James.

As soon as practice ended and James sent everyone off to the showers and lunch, Remus and Peter hurried over to him and Sirius, but their messy-haired friend was intercepted by the serious trio and asked whether he would mind stepping aside with them for a moment. With surprise clearly written on his face, James allowed them to lead him away to the other side of the stands.

Sirius looked awe-struck and then practically delighted as Remus and Peter stepped beside him.

"D'you know who they are, Moony?" he asked excitedly, his eyes shining.

"Talent hunters?" Remus hazarded.

"Not just _any_ talent hunters, Moony," Sirius said, growing more excited by the minute. "They're from the Appleby Arrows! One of the best teams in the English League! My best mate is going to play Chaser for the Arrows! Imagine! First-rate seats at every match, Moony! Sharing the glory! It's going to be _great_!"

Though he did not want to ruin Sirius' happy vision, Remus did not think that James looked all that delighted. Even from that distance he could see him explaining something to the three with a very serious expression on his face. The two men looked increasingly sour, but the woman had a soft smile on her face and she was nodding encouragingly as James continued talking.

About half an hour later, the three finally all nodded, shaking James' hand firmly. Though the men looked quite disappointed, they all appeared to respect James for whatever it was he had said.

"Well?!" Sirius demanded as soon as James made his way back to them. "What did they want?"

"They wanted to offer me a chance to tryout for the Arrows," James said, falling into step beside them as they started making their way back to school. His eyes were a little distant as he spoke - as though he was not quite there.

"So when is it?"

"I don't know."

"What's that?" Sirius asked, turning to face James and slowing down in his surprise. The baffled expression on his face spoke volumes.

"I said I don't know," James repeated quietly. "I told them I appreciated the offer, but that I have different plans for the future."

That made all three Marauders stop dead in their tracks and gape at their leader. Even Remus, who had already guessed it, was shocked to hear it coming from the mouth of James Potter, the Quidditch fanatic who had dreamed of a Quidditch career since the day he had first met him.

"But - James! Quidditch has _always_ been your dream!" Sirius protested, obviously thinking along the same lines. "You've been talking of nothing else since first year! What can possible replace it?"

"I've applied for the Healing position at St Mungo's last week," James replied evenly, staring into the distance. "I'll be tested two days after we leave Hogwarts. They've already sent the time and place."

For Remus, everything started clicking into place. The long abscesses that not even Lily could explain, the shifty glances when they questioned his as to his whereabouts. James had had it planned a long time in advance. The only question was - why had he not told them?

"_Healing_? Your dream now is _Healing_?" Sirius demanded incredulously. "If not Quidditch then why not become an Auror with me?"

Sighing, James shook his head. Turning down the talent hunters' offer had pained him greatly. "It was never my dream nor will it ever be," he said, "but I've been thinking. My dream had always been Quidditch, closely followed by being an Auror, but… When I grew up, I had hardly ever seen anything of my parents. They were always away on Auror business - even if they were off the field. Being a Quidditch player would take me away from home for months on end when Season's on, and an Auror pretty much means that my children will hardly know me until I am too old or _they_ are too old."

"Children?" Sirius choked. "Is there something you didn't tell us, Prongs?"

James thumped Sirius on the head with a half-hearted smile, but then sobered. "I'm going to ask Lily to marry me," he said softly, almost inaudibly.

"James," Sirius was almost speechless - which was better than Remus, who was flabbergasted at the sudden admission, and Peter, who was mouthing soundlessly - "you've been dating the girl for less than six months."

"I know."

"You've hated her for four and something years."

"I know."

"But he'd chased her for almost two," Remus finally managed placing a semblance of calm over his chaotic mind. "How long have you know you wanted to marry her?"

"A while," James admitted, resuming walking towards the castle.

"But what about you _dreams_, James?" Sirius pleaded, trying to make James see that a girl was simply not worth giving up his passion for.

"Lily comes first. She wants to take over Slughorn's job when he retires. She's taking an apprenticeship an apothecary at Diagon Alley."

"And what about _you_? Will you stay with the kids while she comes home only on weekends?!"

"We can always rent a place at Hogsmeade. Teachers don't have to stay at the castle at night, you know."

"I - but - you can't-" Sirius could not let out one coherent sentence out. He stared at his friend of almost seven years in disbelief, knowing that this was one occasion on which he could not change James' mind. Presently, he gave up. "You're dead serious, aren't you?"

James nodded grimly. "Believe me, Padfoot. This suggestion… It's a dream come true. But I can't take it. Not with Lily in my life. I'm going to be a Healer, and that's it. I don't think I will regret this decision - not really. I may have pangs of sorrow every time I see a classmate in the air, famous and free, but I think… I think this is the right choice. I really do."

Remus watched James as he continued to walk towards the castle. Only eighteen and his friend already knew what he wanted from life. He envied him for that. James, who had always been so carefree and happy, who had always seemed the most reckless and least likely to settle down out of the four of them, turned out to be the most responsible, the most grounded and the wisest. He wondered how it was that everyone else missed that quality in James.

But then, thinking over it, there were other people who _had_ noticed. Dumbledore and McGonagall, who had given him the post of Head Boy, for example. They had known before even James himself did that there was something about him that made him special. Glancing at Sirius, he could see that they both shared the same thought.

Lily had absolutely no idea what prize of man she caught.

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When Remus thought back of all the times in the past he had wanted to whack Sirius soundly over the head, he decided that none of those times was as well-deserving as this. Sirius was truly an arse.

Remus could pinpoint the exact moment in which Sirius petulant manner began and when he started acting like a complete bastard towards Lily. It was right after the Quidditch final, when the Gryffindor masses came down to the pitch to celebrate their hard-earned victory.

The Hufflepuff team was not exceptionally good as James often noted that year. They were _excellent_. They led the match by almost a hundred points before the Gryffindors pulled themselves together and started to fight back. In the end, they only won the match by a hundred and fifty points. The teams had been neck to neck almost for the entire match. Although it certainly was not one of Gryffindor's most illustrious victories, the students felt it was a good enough reason to party. They had, after all, won the Quidditch Cup once more. They all poured into the pitch, eager to lift the players unto their shoulders and carry them back to school, shouting their names in delight.

That was when Remus noticed Sirius' strange behaviour.

Lily was hurrying towards James with a big, proud smile on her face, elbowing her way between happy Gryffindors. Remus could see that his friend spotted her and smiled in reply. He was just about to make his way towards her, when Sirius, who was standing just beside him, called, "Is _this_ your demonstration of Gryffindor power? Is _this_ you Gryffindor pride?! Come _on_! Pick your Captain up and show the entire school the man who had brought you victory on his final year at school!"

James protested, looking at Lily and still trying to get to her, but his words were swallowed by the wave of cheers and cries of victory that came from everyone around him. Before he could so much as flee, Sirius helped a few burly sixth years to pick James up and take him to the castle. And then Sirius looked back at Lily, his lips pursed and his eyes dark. He looked directly at her. There was no doubt about it.

He glared at her, as if to say, "See this, Evans? This is all he will ever accomplish in his favourite thing in the world, and it is all because of _you_."

Lily was so surprised that she stopped in her tracks, staring at Sirius, who turned abruptly away from her and hurried after the people carrying James away.

It was so… _childish_.

And it did not end there. Every time Lily attempted approaching James when Sirius was around, the other boy always spotted her before James, and directed the bespectacled boy in a different direction. He also always made sure during meals that James was sandwiched between himself and one of the other Marauders, with another Gryffindor always across from him, making it impossible for Lily to sit with him. He always glared at the redhead, leaving her completely befuddled at what was going on.

When Remus tried talking to him about it, Sirius always insisted that he had no idea what he was talking about and grinned that foolish grin of his that disarmed everyone except for Remus. Remus just wanted to beat him into pulp.

It went on like that for two, long weeks before Lily snapped. Though she was not prone to lose her temper as when she was younger, she was still a very determined young woman, who very much liked, if not loved, James Potter. Having to fight his best friend every inch of the way in order to spend a little bit of time with him, was wearing her down, and she was not about to let Sirius stand between her and James.

And so, Remus and Sirius were just leaving class on the last week of school before NEWTs came round, when Lily cornered them. Or rather, she cornered Sirius, and Remus stayed to watch.

"Where's James?" he asked, attempting to head a situation he did not like entirely.

"I left him with McGonagall and Dumbledore at the Headmaster's office," she replied curtly, her eyes pinning Sirius down. "Told them I needed to use the loo."

"What do you want, Lily?" Sirius asked, backing into a wall as Lily glared up at him, hands on hips.

"I want to know why you're acting as though I don't exist," she said simply, still staring him down. "I want to know why you are trying to make _James_ act as though I don't exist. He's my _boyfriend_, as you well know. I thought we were over this, Sirius. That you understood I am an indisputable part of James' life, now, whether you like it or not. I don't want to have that conversation again."

Remus had no idea what she was talking about, but from the shifty look him his friend's eyes, Sirius did.

Lily sighed, letting her arms dangle to either side of her body. "What is wrong, Sirius? Have I done something to hurt James and that angers you?" she asked, looking pleadingly into his eyes. "I really don't know what I did to deserve this attitude from you. Will you please tell me?"

Remus watched as Sirius' face went through a series of expressions as he struggled within to contain everything he felt. Then he sighed and finally looked up at the redhead.

"You have no idea what he sacrificed for you, Lily," Sirius said gently, looking into her eyes. "Make sure you keep him."

"Oh, I will," she said, smiling. "Have no doubt that I will."

**Aww… isn't Lily sweet? Well? What did you think? Too clichéd? Not surprising enough? Hilarious? Not funny enough? Tell me, tell me, tell me! (because I've eaten way too much sugar today…).**

**Well! We had that promised Keira and Sirius moment, and a lot more of Lily and James! What will we have next chapter? Truthfully? I have absolutely no idea. Haven't quite finished writing the chapter yet. Haven't quite started, truth be told. I guess that what we'll have is the NEWTs, the end of the Hogwarts years, and the hint of a new beginning! Good enough for the lot of you? Hmm? ;)**

**Love you all!**

**-Star of the North**


	33. The Time Has Come

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** First of all, sorry for being late. I really didn't mean that to happen. I even had hopes of finishing this story before Book 7 comes out (two chapters per week), but that won't happen. I'll try and get as far as possible into the story before it comes out, because I know that after it will come much of this story would become AU. So, this is important:

**I WANT YOUR OPINION:**

I can try and post two chapters a week, one on Thursday and one on Saturday. That would get us to the 40+ chapters before Book 7 is published. The story has 50 chapters, but not all are written. So what do you think? Should I try it, or should we simply leave the updating schedule as it is?

Please let me know - in your reviews if you review and through mail or PM if you don't.

Again, I didn't exactly have time to answer reviews, so if I didn't reply to your review, it will be done next week. Just know that I thank you all the same!

That's it for this time.

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirty Three - The Time Has Come**

NEWTs. Was there any other word as terrifying as this? Was there any other word that encompassed so many things? Past, future, fear, hope. To a seventh year Hogwarts student, it was possibly the worst thing in the entire world. Even the Marauders took it seriously.

To some extent.

"So…" Sirius said the morning before the very first exam, not even looking at the food heaped on his plate. "NEWTs, huh?"

All around them, seventh and fifth years were biting fingernails, tapping feet, or simply trying to cram as much information as possible before it was too late. Even those four friends were not as unaffected as they pretended to be. James was playing with his food, Peter had his forehead on the table, mumbling quietly to himself - possibly incantations and potion ingredients - and Remus closed his eyes, trying to think of nothing. He was not all that successful at all, since thoughts of failing all his exams kept haunting him. He had not been sleeping well at all of late - it was even worse than the days before full moons. And it showed. His appetite had gone almost a week before, and there were black patches beneath his eyes. He was breaking down, and that was one thing he could not allow himself to do.

None of them even considered answering Sirius, since there was no possible way of answering it. It was not even a question. They did not feel like talking. Though they tried to ignore the fact, the results of the exams were crucial to their future. James, for example, had to get a perfect O in Charms and Potions, and nothing under an E in every other subject he took in order to be able to take the Healing exams. Sirius, wanting to be an Auror, was only in a slightly better position, having to have nothing lower than an E. Peter was just going to be content with a few A's. Remus had no idea what he wanted to do yet, and so was just resolved to do his best.

Unfortunately, he knew quite well that his parents expected him to do better than a few A's. Though they would never say it, they would be very disappointed if he did not get one of the first ten places in his year. He did not have the heart to disappoint them - not after everything they sacrificed for him to get to where he was. He also owed it to Dumbledore, who had trusted him enough to keep him at Hogwarts even after the Snape Incident.

And so they waited. There was something absolutely nerve-wrecking about the last half hour before the first exam. Time moved so slowly, and as each second ticked by, Remus' confidence was reduced by one more notch. Unfortunately, from the experience of fifth year and the OWLs, he knew that it would not get better after the first exam. In fact, that feeling of no confidence was going to get worse quite quickly. He could feel his heart beating fast and furiously, his breath beginning to hitch. He could feel panic starting to rise inside him. He could not remember a single spell at the moment. His mind felt empty - as though nothing of the previous seven years had remained.

He really wanted to go back to his bed in the dorm and hide underneath the blankets.

And then the sound of hundreds of feet walking to class was heard, alerting all seventh and fifth years to the fact that their time was over.

The time has come.

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Years later, when he would think about that single week of exams, better know as Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests Week, Remus would be unable to remember what had gone on there. Already during the exams he felt as though his mind was filled with fog. He filled in the answers in the theory exams automatically, his brain hardly needing any interference of his consciousness. Once an exam was over, he could only vaguely remember what the questions were, and devoted his time to readying himself to the next one.

The practical exams demanded more concentration, but they were also much more fun, allowing the Marauders more room to improvise. They were much more complicated that the OWLs, putting the seventh years in scenarios they had never encountered, making them be more creative in their responses. Needless to say, some of the Marauders' methods left their testers bewildered, and the watching teachers shaking their heads. At some point Remus found himself wondering whether the staff had made a point out of warning the testers about the four of them or not. By a tester's gasp of alarm when he used a rather complicated weather spell in order to distinguish a fire caused by one of the other students in his group on the practical Charms exam, and by the barely-concealed grin on Flitwick's face, they had not.

James and Sirius found it quite amusing when he expressed that thought one night when they were all lying in exhaustion on their beds, too tired to continue studying.

"It actually doesn't surprise me," James said. "In fact, I would bet you a Galleon that Dumbledore suggested it in the first place and that the others joined in on the fun. As much as they pretend to dislike out antics, they actually find them very amusing."

"They'd probably beg us to return next year because it'll be so dull without us," Sirius said, grinning.

They all laughed at this. Then, one by one, they dropped off into sleep. All except Remus. For a long while after his three friends and dorm mates fell asleep, he continued lying on his back, staring at his bed's canopy. Sirius' words struck something in him that he had kept quiet for a while. It was the very end of the year. The very end of _seventh_ year. There would not be Hogwarts in the next year. It was too painful to think about it. He had made his first true friends here. He had laughed and cried, learned and taught.

What would happen now?

He had so much more to fear of finishing Hogwarts than his friends did, after all. No matter how high his marks would be, no matter if he would get O's in each and every exam, he would always be discriminated for what he was. He doubted that he would ever be able to get any job that would be worth anything. He could not be a Healer - no one would want to employ a diseased man in that sort of job. He could not be an Auror - the Ministry would never employ a Dark creature in such capacity. The Ministry, in fact, would not employ him at all - not even as a simple clerk. He had no talent for Quidditch, and he could not play. His talents were mostly academic, and he could not do anything with them. All because he was werewolf.

Anger swept through him in a way he had never felt before. All the stress from the exams was getting to him in a far worse way than anyone could imagine. Violently he hit his pillow with as much force as he could muster, puncturing it and letting out a puff of feathers.

Somehow, it made him feel a little better.

After that, he was finally able to fall asleep again. Though his friends certainly gave him strange glances when he got out of bed the next morning with feathers stuck in his hair and on his face, they did not question what he had been up to the night before. Perhaps they thought it was due to stress. Perhaps they did not. They just trusted him enough to tell them what was going on in his own time.

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The NEWTs were finally over. It was almost unbelievable. The event that would shape their entire future was over. When Remus and the others finally walked outside after their final exam (which happened to be practical Transfiguration), the light of the afternoon sun blinded their eyes. But they welcome it. They were free.

Remus looked at the grounds and felt a small smile tug at his lips. He had done well. He was certain of it. At last he could make his parents truly proud.

"The girls said they'd meet us down by the lake," Peter said, walking beside James. "Haley caught me when I went out. She said they're just going to throw their things in the dorm and then they'd come and meet us. Oh, and Lily said to give you this, Prongs." He handed James a folded piece of parchment.

"What's that?" the tall boy asked curiously.

Peter shrugged. "I don't read other people's post, Prongs."

James nodded to acknowledge that as he unfolded the parchment. After it was opened, he stared at it for a while before grinning, and then, suddenly, laughing. "That little _minx_!" he said.

The others looked at him curiously. His face split in a wide grin, he turned the parchment over for them to see what was on it. Now that it was closer to his face, Remus could see that it was a slightly older parchment - obviously a couple of years at least, which had been folded and unfolded several times. On it were a few scribbles that were obviously draft answers for the OWL questions of two years ago, but there was also the all-too-familiar doodle of a Snitch with the initials L.E. scribbled not too far from it. Those were most certainly in James' hand. The sure, unwavering lines and perfect writing. The black ink was a little faded, but in fresh, red ink, other things were added.

Someone had circled the initials and drew a hand coming out of the circle, taking hold of the Snitch. The art was not very good, but in what was unmistakenly Lily's hand, were the words _Caught you_, and inside the drawing of the Snitch were the letters J.P.

"I can't imagine where she had gotten this," James said with a small chuckle. "I can't even remember what I did with it after we went out of that exam - what with all the excitement that followed and everything."

There was no doubt in any of their minds to what he was referring.

"The curious thing is why she kept it," Remus said thoughtfully. "If she had truly hated you then - why did she keep something like this?"

James shrugged. "Blackmail material, maybe? Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore; since she's obviously mine now."

"It seems that according to her, _you_ belong to _her_," Sirius teased.

"Guilty as charged," James said good-naturedly. "Let's go sit under a tree and wait for the girls."

And so, ten minutes later, the Marauders were lying under a tree not far from the lake's shore, waiting for the girls to finally join them. It was a warm day and they were all for lazing about. After all, there was no more school for them - no point to attend any classes, and the teachers knew it, giving them free time.

"I don't really get something," Peter said suddenly, looking at James. "You said you needed very specific NEWT results in order to be considered as a candidate for the Healers' exams, and yet you've already known for a while that you are going to be taking the exams. How is that possible?"

James grinned. "I suppose you could say I got a little bit of preferential treatment." His grin faded a little as he explained. "You know how Kelly was on her way to being a Healer - so her colleagues helped me along. And it also helped a little that my parents still have such a high status in the eyes of many people. So I'm going to be doing the Healing exams anyway, but if my NEWTs fail to reach standard, I won't receive the trainee position. It's still enough to make sure that I get a chance at the position despite being straight out of school. That way I won't have to wait an entire year before new positions are opened."

"That's good," Remus said, stretching and reaching inside his bag for a reading book. Sirius slapped his hand away.

"Don't you _dare_, Moony!" he said jovially. "This is not a day for books! This is a day for-for-for… For _pranks_!"

Everyone looked at him curiously.

"We have less than three weeks to come up with an idea, plan _and_ execute our very own _Grande Finale_," he said importantly, keeping his voice low. "Think about it. This is our seventh year, our last year at Hogwarts. For nearly seven years we've been the indisputable pranksters of this school - the leaders in the field. We can't allow people to forget us. We have to finish with a bang. A _big_ bang. The Marauders may be leaving Hogwarts, but we will make sure our legacy lasts!"

Their eyes bright, the Marauders exchanged glances. Of _course_. How could they possibly forget their annual tradition?

As one, the four boys rose to their feet just as the Gryffindor girls reached them.

"Sorry! Have to go!" James blurted to Lily as he practically ran past her, pecking her on the cheek as he went, the others in tow.

"Wait! Where are you going?" she called after him, shocked.

"Can't tell right now! See you later!"

Leaving the girls stunned and confused, they hurried to the Tower and to the relative safety of their dorm. There was planning to be done.

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It took them a very long time to come up with the plan. They wanted something so grandiose, that the students would remember it for as long as they stayed at Hogwarts. They wanted the first years of that school year to still talk about the Marauders' final work when _they_ would become seventh years.

It was quite a challenge that they took on themselves, trying to outdo everything they had done in seven years, but they were the Marauders, and they did not accept failure. Not after being so long in the running.

No one had seen them during the two and a half weeks between the end of NEWTs week and the End-of-Year feast. The girls, especially Lily, attempted to get them out of their dorm several times, but failed. They were too concentrated on their work. They wanted everything to be perfect.

If Lily suspected why they were secluding themselves, she said nothing. She did narrow her eyes suspiciously at them every now and then, but she did not talk and did not voice any suspicions that they were working on a huge prank. She even stopped trying to corner James whenever she saw him and the others pass by. Remus knew she knew, but for the life of him he could not understand why she did nothing to stop them. He just hoped it will remain that way. Despite being at heart a low-abiding young man, he really wanted to see the reactions to their last work inside Hogwarts' walls.

One evening, they stopped shortly to evaluate what they had ready. Their room looked like a hurricane went through it and there were splashes of colour on the floor and one the walls. Empty flasks and pouches dotted the floor. Had any of the house-elves seen it at that moment, they would probably have burst into tears of joy.

"Our final work," Peter whispered in awe as all four stepped away from their preparations.

"And our finest, even if I do say so myself," Sirius agreed, clapping the smaller boy on the back, almost making his knees buckle.

"Tomorrow is going to be a blast," James said, grinning. "And I am _so_ going to get in trouble with Lily for this."

Despite himself, Remus grinned. Ever since Lily had agreed dating him, James made sure the Marauders' operations were kept low-key. This would be the first time - and the last, sadly enough - since then, that the four of them would do something spectacular for the whole school to see and admire.

"Do you think we could actually pull this off?" he asked on an impulse.

"Moony, my friend," James said earnestly. "If ever we could have pulled off a prank, this would have been the _one_."

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It seemed that the whole school was on edge, waiting to see what the Marauders would do at the end-of-year feast. Everywhere the four boys went, curious (or suspicious) eyes followed them, and whispers were heard, trying to guess what spectacular show they would all see in only a few short days. Everyone knew that the Marauders did not frequent the lessons held for the seventh years, which mostly consisted of summarizing their seven years at school and asking what were their plans once they were out of Hogwarts. People saw them leafing through piles of books in the library and sneaking in and out of the Potions classroom at bizarre hours of the day. No one had any idea what they were up to - at least not the specifics - but everyone knew what it was _for_.

And then, the last day of school came.

The four friends stood in their dorm, suddenly finding themselves having to pack. They stood together at the middle of the room, looking around them helplessly, trying to muster the courage to put all their belongings in their trunks. They had spent seven years in that room. Seven years filled with laughter, tears and pranks. It was not at all easy to put it all behind.

Typically, it was James who had taken the first step, picking up a few articles of Muggle clothes from the floor and throwing them into his trunk. He looked over his shoulder at them and sighed. "We can't put it off forever, you know," he said softly. "Tomorrow we're going, whether we like it or not. It's time to pack - and the sooner we pack, the sooner we'll be able to put the finishing touches on tonight's show."

That, more than anything else, got them moving. Soon, everything was being packed: clothes, books, sweets, bits of parchment, the Animagi Research parchments, prank materials, drawings, posters and magazines. Everything found its way into the trunks.

The lunar calendar was the last thing to be removed, the red mark of the last full moon at Hogwarts clearly marked on the June page. It had only been a few days before, but Remus tired to push it out of his mind. His friends truly tried to make that one different. They went to all their favourite haunts that night - the clear pool at the depth of the Forbidden Forest, the foothills by Hogsmeade, the huge, straight grasses of the Hogwarts grounds. They knew that it would be their last time there, their last chance to be truly young and careless, and so they did their best to have fun that night. To simply be Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.

It nearly broke Remus' heart to know that there will not be any more nights like that. He wondered what would happen in the next moon, and the one after that, and all the ones that would follow. Would they be there for him? Would they find a way to be there for him even though they would all have jobs and new lives to live?

He sighed and put the calendar at the top of his trunk and then closed it with a sharp snap. He then turned to look at his friends. "Are we all packed?" he asked.

They all nodded in affirmation.

Sirius grinned evilly, saying, "Let the games begin."

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Their whole plan was based on the assumption that no one would bother to look up at the ceiling anymore, having seen it hundreds of times already. In case someone _did_, however, they put a Disillusionment Charm on the thing they had hovered up to it. It had taken them a long time to put everything in place - the entire previous night, in fact.

But it was well worth it.

Their faces innocent, the Marauders stayed silent during Dumbledore's entire end-of-year speech (Gryffindor had won the House Cup, very closely followed by Hufflepuff) and even allowed their fellow students a while to eat their last dinner at the castle before the summer holidays. It was only when the various desserts found their way into people's plates and mouths that they had activated their Grande Finale.

It was the sound of shooting fireworks that alerted the Hogwarts student body and staff that what they had all been waiting for (whether in dread or in anticipation) has finally began.

Fireworks had found a very high place in the Marauders' works, but this time they were only to attract the attention of everyone in the Great Hall. They were blue, green, yellow and red and fell down as a shower of sparks, extinguishing themselves inches above the heads of the seated.

Then Remus removed the Disillusionment Charm and everyone could see what they had constructed as it unfurled itself.

A dragon. They had constructed, from bits of trees gathered in the Forbidden Forest, a few scraps of cloth and a tremendous amount of magic, a full-size, Hungarian Horntail.

Screams were heard from every direction. Some of the teachers paled, rising to their feet. Of the entire crowd in the Hall, only two aside of the Marauders looked calm, collected and totally unworried. Dumbledore and McGonagall.

The Headmaster looked at the dragon through his spectacles, merely curious. McGonagall looked defeated, though Remus could swear he could see the corner of her mouth twitch in an attempt to escape her iron control and smile.

She was _proud_ of them. Remus was sure of it.

In the meantime, the show continued. Unfurling its wings, the dragon swooped in circle close to the ceiling and then, without warning, shot out a flame. The flame was very long and a cunning little spell even made it feel hot. It was, unlike the flame of a real dragon, multicoloured, flickering in the colours of all four Houses. As it died, it formed letters of fire that hovered in the air for a few moments before flickering out. After each line faded and fresh burst of flame shot forth, creating another. Every eye in the Hall read the words.

_And so the time came to say goodbye._

_We had some fun, we had good laughs, we certainly hope it was worth the try._

_And now, before we leave, we do wish to impart,_

_A few rules for fun lives, for every prankster who want to take up our part:_

_Do not do your Homework until the last minute,_

_But when something's useful for a prank, do your best to learn it._

_Play tricks on your fellow students, use potion, plant and charm,_

_Remember though that they're supposed to laugh and not to come to any harm._

_Tell jokes, skip lessons, just make sure you're never caught,_

_Because the caretaker and his infernal cat cannot, unfortunately, be bought._

_And so it's time to say goodbye, we hope you have enjoyed the show,_

_Make us proud, remember us, and let the list of Hogwarts pranksters grow!_

And with that the dragon burst into thousands of sparkles that formed the Hogwarts crest. The crest hovered over the staff table for a few moments before each animal left the shield and bounded, flew, shuffled or slithered to hover over the table of its House. Then, with a last burst of colour, each turned into a new shower of sparks in the colours of the House and dropped down.

For a few seconds everyone was silent and stunned. And then someone started clapping. Slowly, one by one and then in groups, the entire Hall began clapping. Even most of the Slytherins did, though many looked a little begrudging. Snape did not clap, but that was not a surprise.

Grinning widely, the Marauders stood up and bowed. A fresh wave of clapping came once they did, making Sirius say, "Thank you! Thank you! We have appreciated your patronage for the past seven years! We're still here until tomorrow morning, so you can all get your autographs until then!"

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The next morning dawned clear. It was rather fitting that on their last day at the castle they could enjoy the true magnificence of the place they had called home for seven years. The sky was blue with a few feather-like clouds floating in it. A cool breeze ruffled the students' robes as they stepped out of the Entrance Hall, most of them chattering cheerfully, laughing and making plans for the summer.

Standing on the steps that led down from the front doors, the nine Gryffindor seventh years stood silently together, looking up at Hogwarts, drinking its appearance with their eyes. The carriages were due to arrive in any minute, but they all knew they were reluctant to leave. Lily was leaning on James, the twins were holding hands, Haley clutched at Peter's robes and Keira stood between Remus and Sirius, so close that she touched both their sides.

"So this is it, isn't it?" Lily said softly, looking at Hogwarts with sadness in both her voice and eyes.

"No more Hogwarts," James affirmed, awe in his voice.

The Marauders and the girls stood there, all nine of them struck dumb by the idea. There was _no more_ Hogwarts for them. No more classes, no more pranks on students, no more teachers.

They looked at the castle that had been their home away from home for seven years. They all remembered how foreboding it looked back when they were just tiny little first years. They remembered the fear and anxiety of the Sorting ceremony and the relief that came once they realized that they had a place in this new, terrifying environment. They remembered fights, lessons and friendships made. Hogwarts had been their entire world for so long, and now they were leaving it. 

For good.

**Okay! Hogwarts over, can you believe it? I hope there weren't many mistakes in this chapter. I'm rather exhausted, but I wanted to post this tonight, before I leave home for the week again.**

**Next chapter? What about next chapter? The train ride, James finally gets to meet the Evans family, Lily discovers something about her boyfriend, and the gang simply starts getting ready for life after Hogwarts…**

**See you all there!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	34. Into another World

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** I can't believe one of my stories got over 500 reviews! Thank you so much! You make me feel so loved :)

So, apparently, I still won't be able to finish this story before Deathly Hallows comes out, but I'll try my best.

Anyhoo, slightly longer chapter than usual, but that's because there was so much to put in it, including a part from James' PoV. I hope you'll like it!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirty Four - Into another World**

The start of the journey was unusually subdued. All nine Gryffindors squeezed into one compartment with great difficulty, but they all seemed to feel the same way. They wanted to be together one last time before having to enter the real world. Though they sat close together, all were silent, each thinking their own thoughts, contemplating their own dilemmas. They all had to get over the idea that after this train ride, there will be no others. That when September will come around again, they will not be heading back to Hogwarts. It was a hard concept to accept, and so they took the time to digest it, taking simple comfort in the others' presence.

Of course it was Sirius that broke the foul mood, bringing a rolled up paper out of his pocket and spreading it in front of the Marauders in a way that screamed, "Back to business!"

When it was spread in front of him, Remus realized what it was. It was one of Sirius' numerous Muggle magazines, printed on smooth, shiny paper. Sirius had opened it at its precise middle and gestured at the equally smooth and shiny object shown there.

"I'm going to get me one of those," he said proudly, his finger jabbing at the picture.

"Err… Is that what I think it is, Sirius?" Haley asked timidly, her eyes wide.

"Yep."

"Do you even know how to _ride_ one?"

"I'll learn."

"Do you have the _money_ to afford it?" Lily asked quietly.

Sirius smiled widely at this. "I've put aside some of Alphard's money especially for this, and Andy says she'll help me if I'll really need it - just as long as I don't take the little one on it."

"If you would ever take that girl up on that thing - or any child at that," James said easily, "I think I would have to help Andromeda to cut you into pieces myself."

"Is that a way to treat a friend?" Sirius pouted, making everyone laugh, breaking the tension that filled the compartment.

Everything became so much easier, then. They talked about Hogwarts, and how much they would miss it; they brought up memories of those times before Lily and James hooked up; they talked about their career options (though James remained strangely silent at this point); and compared the quality of the Marauders' pranks over the years, agreeing that few things surpassed the exploding suits of armour in the first year. It had been ingenious in its simplicity.

At several points Lily and James got out of the compartment, presumably to, "Patrol the corridors." But everyone knew they just slipped into an unused bathroom to get a last snog before they each had to go home.

"It's not like their saying goodbye for the entire summer," Keira said with a roll of her eyes.

"That's right," Sirius recalled. "He's coming to her place for dinner tonight."

That was news for Remus. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Sirius, who shrugged and said, "Palmer and I eavesdropped on them last night. She said she would like to introduce him to her parents. He nearly panicked and ran off before agreeing."

If anyone found it strange that despite obviously snogging each another senseless on many an occasion Keira and Sirius still referred to one another by their surnames, they did not mention it.

"So he's going with Lily and her parents when we get to the platform?" Rowena asked.

Keira shook her head. "No, He's going home and then Apparating over in the evening. I just hope he won't splinch himself, being so nervous. Really, her parents are really nice people. He has no reason to be so afraid."

The three boys stared at her as though the answer was obvious. The other girls looked equally oblivious to it. Apparently, it was just one of those things that girls do not get and boys do.

"What are your plans for the summer?" Lily asked once she and James came back from their last snogging session of the ride. "We haven't really talked about it, what with the NEWTs and everything."

"Why don't you start?" Sirius suggested, grinning. "Looks like you're absolutely _dying_ to share it with us." He then had to duck in order to avoid the pumpkin pasty that hurtled his way, and to swerve violently aside so that James' elbow to the ribs would miss him.

"_Fine_," she said, sticking her tongue at him, "I will. I'm going to spend a while with my family, since my sister is getting married in August. Not precisely the way I wanted to spend my first summer out of Hogwarts, but I suppose I can live with that, seeing as her fat pig of a fiancé will be taking her away soon enough."

Remus had heard whispers (or rather, heard the girls talking when he obviously was not supposed to) about Lily's rocky relationship with her older sister. There was obviously no love lost there. Apparently, Petunia Evans (nicknamed by Lily and her friends Petty or Tuna), had no love for magic, and was disgusted by the mere mention of it. He also knew that in her first few years at Hogwarts Lily was very hurt by her sister's reaction to Lily's talents. She had admired her older sister, like any little sister would, and Petunia's rejection surprised and alarmed her.

Now, however, Lily seemed to be resigned to the fact that things were not about to change, for she continued talking, as though her sister's wedding was of no consequence. "Anyway, I sent an owl to an apothecary who advertised for an apprentice in the _Prophet_ and applied for the position, so I'll be starting there around mid-August. It'll get me one step closer to being a Potion Mistress. It's a good place to start."

No one, of course, was surprised by Lily's affinity for Potions, and most of them knew of her wish to one day take Slughorn's place as the Potion Mistress of Hogwarts, despite Charms being her best subject.

And so each and every one of them started sharing their plans. Sirius and Keira were going to try for the Auror Academy once their NEWTs results arrived. In the meanwhile, Sirius was going to buy himself that bike he so sorely wanted and go on trips around Britain and Ireland ("Who knows," he said, "I might even go to the mainland and see a bit of world before I get myself tied down for three years."). Keira was a little more subdued, saying she wanted to spend some time with her parents, see if she could pull them out of their melancholy. She said she might try and convince them to move to a new house, where the memories of Kelly would not be as strong and crippling.

Wren said her parents were sending her to a place on Fair Isle, just off the Scotland coast, where an advanced wizarding clinic could be found. The clinic, Fairview House, specialized in cases of weak immune systems such as the one she suffered from.

"She will be spending a year there," Rowena explained, somewhat sadly. "That's the minimum time span for a treatment such as the one Wren's going to go through."

It soon became clear why Rowena was so sad, when Wren slowly explained that there will be no visits home during that year and that no one could come to Fair Isle for a visit either, unless it was a special case. The size of the isle allowed very few witches and wizards on it at a time, or the several dozen Muggles who lived there would notice something strange. The clinic only allowed five patients at a time. Wren had been on the waiting list for just the right amount of years that allowed her to go to Hogwarts and complete her education there.

While Wren would be cured of what ailed her, Rowena would be starting an internship at an office that practiced wizarding law. That is, if her NEWTs were good enough. Her second option, in case something did not go according to plan, was start working at one of the Diagon Alley shops until she could retake whatever exams she needed.

"I _will_ get that internship," she said, determination shining from her eyes. "It's what I wanted to do ever since the Catherine Edwards trial back in third year - you know, the woman who had been blamed for practicing the Dark Arts though she didn't? Her attorney got her out and even made sure the Auror who framed her lost his job and had to pay her for the damage she suffered because of the whole ordeal!"

Remus honestly had no idea what she was talking about, nor did Sirius, Peter or James, but the girls were rolling their eyes, as though they had heard the story many times in the past.

Then the talk moved to Haley, who admitted she was going for a Ministry job. She still had no idea what department she will get, but her appliance letter was already being processed, and she was expecting an answer any day. Peter said he was thinking along the same lines, but that he would only apply for a job around September, seeing as his mother wanted to go on a vacation during the entire month of August, as well as the first week of September, and would not take no for an answer.

"Almost six weeks with only Mum for company," he said glumly. "I bet you anything that she'll try and force me into some horrible outfits that she would say are cute. Oh, yes, and she'll refuse eating any foreign food, saying she doesn't trust those strangers and will go looking for some English restaurant, which she won't be able to find, and then she will grumble the entire trip. _Lovely_."

This drew laughter out of all of them, but afterwards there was silence. Seven pairs of eyes looked expectantly from James to Remus and back again, waiting for either of them to say something.

"I haven't decided yet," James said lamely. The Marauders stared at him with hard eyes, knowing that this was far from true, but the girls accepted it at face value.

Remus nodded and said, "Me neither," not wanting to elaborate. Unlike James, he truly had no idea what he was about to do. Truth be told, he was afraid of rejection. He was afraid to apply for a job and receive a polite (or not) note, saying, "Sorry, but you're a werewolf. Can't have people running away from our business, now can we?"

He just would not be able to handle it.

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Soon, too soon, the Hogwarts Express came to a stop at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, and slowly, taking their time, they all trooped off, dragging their luggage behind them. They waited in silence for their turn to pass through the barrier and then they stood together for a while before saying their goodbyes and going their separate ways.

The twins, Haley and Peter had their parents pick them up and so had to go immediately. Keira Apparated on her own, eyes downcast as she realized her parents would not be picking her up. Then it left Lily, James, Sirius and Remus at the station.

"Here are my parents, James," Lily said, catching James' hand. "Want to come and meet them before tonight?"

James looked about to be sick. "I don't think so, Lily," he said. "My parents are waiting for me and all that-"

"Where's your Gryffindor courage, mate?!" Sirius demanded, hitting James' shoulder with his fist. "Go."

James gulped, but allowed Lily to drag him away. His expression was like that of a man knowing he is facing his imminent doom.

"Let's follow them," Sirius suggested in a low voice. "Watch out for him in case he blunders."

"Do you _think_ he'll blunder?" Remus asked worriedly.

Sirius shrugged. "You can never tell with Prongs, now can you? If it was anyone's parents but Lily, I'd say he'd ace it without a hitch, but since it _is_ Lily, and he _had _made many blunders with her, I really can't tell.

Sadly enough, Remus admitted to himself, there was a lot of truth in that statement made by Sirius. If there was a book about blunders to be made while in a relationship with someone, James had gone through each and every one on the list during the obstacle course of his and Lily's relationship. And so he joined Sirius in trailing at a more or less safe distance after James and Lily who were making their way to where a blond woman and an auburn-haired man were waiting, just by the station's entrance, with James dragging Lily's trunk.

James and Lily finally came to a stop in front of the pair, James letting go of the trunk, and straightening. Sirius gave a low whisper as they stopped. "Look at his back - straight like a bloody iron. He's nervous. Get ready to move in case we'll need to save him."

In the meanwhile, introduction time came.

"Mum, Dad," Lily said, "meet James Potter."

Standing as he did with Sirius, a few feet away, attempting to look innocent, Remus could see James was just shy of running away in panic. However, being a Marauder, he bravely stepped forward and offered his hand to Lily's father.

"It is wonderful to finally meet you, Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans," he said politely and firmly shook Mr. Evans' hand, followed by a dropped kiss to Mrs. Evans' hand. Pure-blood manners, hammered into his skull ever since young, finally kicked in. "I do hope that I will not be intruding on your family's reunion this evening."

"Of course you wouldn't be intruding!" Mrs. Evans said immediately, followed by a quick assurance from Mr. Evans as well. "We asked Lily to invite you so that we could meet you and get to know you! It's not every day that we hear that the person our daughter had so much against finally manages to sweep her off her feet!"

Remus caught sight of Lily's profile, and thought he saw her cheeks reddening. James, however, simply smiled and said, "It's been a very long chase, Mrs. Evans, even if I do say so myself. I'd be honoured to join you for dinner tonight."

"Then we will expect your coming around six," the woman said, smiling.

Then James shook Mr. Evans' hand again and kissed those of the two Evans women. Remus only barely noticed the wink his friend gave Lily before withdrawing. As the Evans family turned to leave, he heard Mrs. Evans say, "What a charming young man, Lily. I do believe I approve."

When they caught up with James, who was preparing to Apparate home, Sirius and Remus both could see he was immensely relieved.

"That went rather well," he said weakly. "Did they say anything about me after I left?"

"I think her mother fancies you," Sirius smirked, apparently also having caught Mrs. Evans' words. "You'd better watch out, Prongs. An affair with the mother-in-law is not such a good idea, you know."

James elbowed Sirius quite violently. "Don't be so disgusting, Padfoot."

"Let us know how it went?" Remus asked, taking hold of his own trunk, making ready to Apparate home as well.

"Naturally. And then you and Padfoot can happily analyze everything I've done wrong," James said without malice. Then, with a weak smile, he disappeared, leaving Remus and Sirius alone.

"Would you believe me if I said I'm bloody terrified of what will happen tonight?" Remus asked, taking hold of his trunk. He had told his mother not to come and pick him up, seeing as he could Apparate now.

"Yes," Sirius said, also preparing to leave. "Because I feel about the same way."

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The owl from James came three days later when Remus was helping his parents paint the kitchen. The poor owl, apparently new at the business of delivering letters, veered slightly off course and smeared its tail feathers in fresh, pale yellow paint. While Saffron exasperatedly took care of the animal's predicament, Remus read the letter.

_"Moony,_

_"Mum invited the lot of you for dinner tonight. Think you can come? If so, send reply via owl._

_"Prongs."_

After getting his parents' permission, he scribbled a hurried, _yes_, on the other side of the letter and sent the thankfully-cleaned owl back to Potter Manor.

Throughout dinner (which was wonderful, as always) James looked thoughtful and was relatively quiet. When they were all done, they went up to his room. His desk was piled high with books of basic Healing and medi-witchery. There were more books on the floor. James sat on the chair by the desk and sighed.

"What's eating you up, mate?" Sirius asked almost as soon as the door closed behind Peter.

"Lily's sister," he replied shortly.

They all looked at him strangely.

"You've decided that Lily's not good enough and want to go for her sister?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"What? _No!_" James said indignantly, looking faintly sick. "Not in a lifetime! It's just that… She's probably the worst person I have ever met, and that's including Snape and your brother!"

Now they all looked skeptic. They all knew Severus Snape and Regulus Black, who were both disgusting little slimeballs. There was no way in hell that Lily's sister could be worse. But James insisted that it was true. They demanded the story.

And so James told them.

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_He stood nervously in front of a simple wooden, glass inlaid, door, the paper slip in his hand with the address written on it by Lily already badly crumpled. He had been standing there for about five minutes, contemplating what to say to whomever opened the door._

_Finally, sighing, he knocked, and soon he could hear footsteps coming. It was not Lily's quick, almost silent pace, but the sound of high-heeled shoes (which Lily said would make her feel seasick if she would ever wear a pair) clicking on the floor violently, as though the person coming was incredibly angry._

_The person who opened the door was more than angry. She was _livid_. She was a tall blonde, with her hair tied in a bun at the back of her head. Everything about her was long: Neck, nose, face. Her face held none of Lily's cheerfulness and friendliness, and her mouth was set in a grim line that would put McGonagall to shame, but there was a certain similarity there. In the shape of the eyes and in the way she carried herself, with total conviction that she was in the right. There was no doubt in his mind._

_This was the dreaded, magic-hating Petunia Evans._

_"Hello," he said, bowing shortly as pure-blooded manners dictated. "I am James Potter, Lily's-"_

_"I know who you are," she said shortly and snidely. "They're expecting you, even though I have no idea why. Like we need another of your sort around here."_

_He was stumped. Honestly and completely stumped. Only those manners that his mother hammered into his skull all those years ago stopped him from saying something to put her in her place. Instead, he said nothing and followed her into the house, closing the door behind him._

_Lily's house was something different. His own house was a manor of enormous proportions; Sirius' was a small, messy and eccentric apartment; Remus' place was a comfortable cottage; and Peter's a wide-spaced brick house where everything was put in perfect order, every piece of furniture and decoration yet another soldier in Mrs. Pettigrew's parade. Lily's place was unlike any of those homes._

_It was in Muggle Richmond, and by the looks of it Lily's parents, if not filthy rich, were at least well off. It had three stories, with the entrance placed on the second one. Downstairs, as he soon found out, following the disapproving Petunia, were the kitchen, the dinning room and the drawing room. On the walls and on stands, in glass-fronted cabinets and on shelves were various mementoes from all over the world. It seemed like the Evans' couple was well-traveled._

_In the drawing room sat Mr. and Mrs. Evans and a big, beefy man with little to no neck and a scowl on his wide face. Lily, who had been standing by one of the big windows overlooking the back garden, came to greet him with a small kiss on the cheek. She also whispered in his ear, "Ugly there is Vernon Dursley. He's Petty's fiancé and he's already prejudiced against you, so don't even bother trying to make him like you."_

_He grinned and then walked towards her parents who also got up in order to greet him._

_"Mrs. Evans," he said politely, taking her hand and kissing it. He then shook Mr. Evans' hand. "Mr. Evans. Thank you again for having me here."_

_"Oh, you're welcome, James," Mrs. Evans said kindly. "Come, come and sit down. Dinner will be ready in a very short while." She then got up to check on whatever was cooking in the kitchen and wafting heavenly smells into the drawing room._

_James gingerly took a seat on a sofa opposite of the one on which sat Petunia and Vernon. Petunia's back was ramrod straight and she looked very disapproving, glaring at James. Vernon slouched in his seat, his backside taking most of the space on the two-seater._

_Lily, smiling at him brightly, came and sat next to him, leaning on him for good measure. He felt a little uncomfortable sitting like that with her father watching, but indulged her. He was a Marauder, after all, and could recognize someone trying to play a joke on someone else's account. He realized that this display of affection was more for Petunia's benefit than that of her father's._

_"So, James," Mr. Evans said pleasantly. "I hear that you have yet to decide what to do with your post-Hogwarts life."_

_Petunia and Vernon both winced at the sound of the school's name._

_Glancing at Lily, James said, "Well, yes. That's true, I suppose. It's just that there are so many things that interest me, and, quite frankly, many doors are open to someone of my status."_

_"Oh?" Mr. Evans asked with great interest in his voice._

_"James' family is… very well-founded, Dad," Lily said, saving James from saying something that would probably sound arrogant, coming from his own mouth. "The Potter family is one of the oldest pure-blood families - all wizards and witches for centuries, that is. His parents are much respected. They've been Aurors - of the greatest, really. James could probably get any job possible in the Wizarding World."_

_Another flinch from Petunia and Vernon._

_"Excuse me, David," Vernon said, looking slightly ill, "but I think I need to use your bathroom. Must be something I ate." When Lily's father nodded, the big man fled the room as though he was chased by a ghost._

_"Pray tell, James," Mrs. Evans said from the door connecting the drawing room to the kitchen, "what are Aurors? I don't think Lily ever mentioned that job before."_

_"That's because she was never interested in it, and I have," James said easily. "Aurors are like - what are they called, Lily?"_

_"Policemen," the redhead supplied._

_"That's it. Policemen. Only Aurors are dedicated to more specific operations. You won't be seeing them around if someone smuggles an illegal creature into a Muggle neighbourhood, or if an angry wizard abducts the child of his rivals. What they specialize in is catching Dark wizards - those who use the forbidden Dark Arts. Aurors hunt them down and put them in prison, where they belong, under the strongest locks and charms."_

_"It sounds… dangerous," Mrs. Evans said, her face worried._

_"It is," James admitted, not wanting to lie to the person he secretly hoped would be his mother-in-law one day. "That's why it takes three years of extensive, rigourous training. Only the best and the fittest manage to pass and become real Aurors. My parents - in their younger days - were considered to be the best team of the lot. They fought right along Dumbledore in the war against Grindelwald."_

_He immediately knew he had said something wrong, but was not sure why. Glancing again at Lily, he noticed her wincing and looking quite a bit sheepish._

_"War?" Mr. Evans asked, frowning. "There was a war between wizards?"_

_Guessing this was not the time to mention Voldemort and what was going on in the Wizarding World of late as it seemed that Lily chose not to share the more bloody history of their world with her parents, he said, "Well, it was not a Wizard War, to be exact. Grindelwald worked at the same time as that megalomaniac Muggle - Hitler, I think? - that tried taking over the world back in the forties. Grindelwald took advantage of the situation and apparently struck some sort of a bargain with the Muggle that enabled him to try and take over the Wizarding World. It was just another aspect of _that_ war."_

_Lily's parents both relaxed at his explanation, but he promised himself he would discuss this with Lily later. It was quite irresponsible of her not to tell them the truth about what was going on and about the danger that she, as a Muggle-born, was in because of Voldemort and his way of thinking._

_Before he could give her a meaningful look, however, Mrs. Evans called, "Dinner's ready!" and he was led by Lily to the dinning room, trailed by a reluctant Petunia who had listened to his story with abject horror, and Mr. Evans._

_Dinner itself was wonderful. Mrs. Evans was a very good cook and had presented the family with a practical feast, celebrating Lily's return from school. James enjoyed it tremendously and he was really beginning to think that this was not such a bad idea after all._

_It was just before dessert that things got out of hand._

_"So you don't have a job lined up, have you?" Vernon suddenly asked, catching James by surprise._

_"Err, no," James answered, surprised. "I don't."_

_"And how long is that going to last?"_

_"What? I don't know. Whenever I decide what I want to do with my life."_

_"Vernon had his job ready for him the moment he got out of boarding school," Petunia suddenly said, her eyes gleaming unpleasantly and looking straight at Lily, as though challenging her._

_Challenging Lily had never been a very good idea, James could tell her that, but it seemed as though the blonde woman was goading her sister deliberately._

_"Is that true?" Lily said, her eyes narrowing. "Well, I'll have you know that James is just considering which job is best for him before he dedicates his entire life to it and then discovers it's bloody dull."_

_Vernon's face became slightly red at the insinuation. Throughout dinner he talked a lot about the drill business he was in, acting as a junior department director. "I have a very good job, young lady. I doubt this boy here could _ever_ support a family properly. He's trouble! I've heard from your parents of all the troubles he had caused in school! He'll never amount to anything!"_

_James was torn between wanting to make things work with Lily's parents and desperately wishing he could hex Vernon Dursley to hell and back, just so he could hex him again. Instead, he quietly said, "I am perfectly capable of supporting a family when I start one. And as for a job-"_

_"You will only ever get a job as a criminal, what with your record at school," Petunia spat, her knuckles turning white as she tightened her hold on her cutlery._

_"Petunia!" Mrs. Evans called sharply, but before she could continue, Lily burst._

_"Whatever you heard about James during the last seven years is only because we didn't get along for a while! The pranks he pulled at school were harmless, and you know it! He's a good man - better than your disgusting pig of a fiancé could ever be - so stop harassing him before I'll turn you into a two-headed newt!"_

_"Lily!"_

_"You're a freak!" Petunia shrieked, slamming her cutlery down. "You always have been and you always will be! And it's no wonder that you've chosen such a delinquent as a boyfriend! You're twisted - the both of you!"_

_"Petunia! Stop it this instant!" Mr. Evans said firmly._

_"I will not! Next thing you know this house will be filled with freaks like her!"_

_"Say another word and I will hex you," Lily shouted. "Don't think I won't!"_

_"Petunia! Lily! Go to your rooms!" Mrs. Evans cried over the noise. "And don't get out of there until I say so!"_

_Lily did as told, storming off without a word. Petunia, however, got up and said, "I don't live here anymore, Mum, and I won't be sent to my room like a misbehaved three-year-old. Vernon! We're leaving." As she passed James, she also added in a huffing tone, "Freak."_

_James was left seated by the table with Lily's parents, who both looked mortified._

_"I'm so sorry about all this, James," Mrs. Evans said quietly as she led him to the door. "I really don't know what came over Petunia today. Normally she is such a sweet-tempered young woman. Please don't let her behaviour reflect on the way you view the non-magical world."_

_"That's all right, Mrs. Evans," he said, knowing that not all Muggles were like Lily's sister. "I understand."_

_"I hope that the next time you come for a visit would be much more pleasant," she continued._

_"I'm sure it will. Good night, Mrs. Evans. And once you manage to pry her bedroom door open, tell Lily I said that the meeting at Padfoot's Doghouse is still on for next week?"_

_"Of course, dear."_

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"So Lily's sister is an idiot, yes?" Sirius asked bluntly for what must have been the hundredth time ever since James told him about his evening at the Evans Household the night before.

"Yep," James replied laconically. He did not mean to sound so absent-minded, but he had less than two weeks to prepare for the Healing exams and wanted to start right away. He had his nose buried in one of books on his desk while the others prepared to leave.

"Leave him be, Padfoot," Peter said from the bed, on which he was sitting. "If he fails the exams he'll freak out, and it will all be your fault."

"How so?"

"Does it matter? Prongs will kick your arse anyway."

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James took the Healing exams two weeks into July. He spent the night before at Sirius'. They had all agreed that once the exams would be over, they would stay at Padfoot's Doghouse for a couple of weeks before they had to go to their respective homes again.

James left early on the morning of the exam, before anyone woke up. When he returned, he said nothing, except, "I'm going home for a bit." Then he took a few essentials from Sirius' room and Apparated to Potter Manor. They had not seen him for two days, and since Lily came by floo, looking for him, neither had she. They could not, of course, tell her why he was in such a bad mood, since James never told her that he was going to take the exams, and so had to improvise when she inquired as to its source.

"You think he did badly?" Peter asked quietly the second evening, as the three of them sat in Sirius' living room, playing Exploding Snap.

"No," Sirius said confidently, and then made a face. "I think he _convinced_ himself he did badly."

"Doesn't really sound like Prongs," the small boy said, getting back to his cards and throwing them away just on time before they exploded in his face.

"It does, when you think about it," Remus interjected. "Remember when Lily wouldn't give him a second's thought? When she hated him and he still adored her? He was nervous and uncertain then, but he only showed it to us. Now he's trying not to show it to us, either. This is something he wants, even if we don't completely understand the reasons behind it. If he fails getting it, he'll have to wait another year for the next round of exams, and that's the one thing he's not prepared to do."

They left the subject at that, and since James mentioned nothing when he returned the next day, they said nothing else of it. James seemed to feel much better after his stay at home, however, and the Marauders began taking advantage of their newfound freedom. They went to Muggle pubs and to the cinema, they prowled Diagon Alley and other popular wizarding haunts. They spent time with the girls, knowing that soon most of them would start their new jobs and wanting to spend as much time as possible together.

One night, about a week after James had taken the exams, they went together to the famous _Golden Shamrock_ pub at the very end of Diagon Alley, which was where all young witches and wizards convened when wanting to celebrate without interference. They spent the entire night there, only crashing back at Sirius' around four in the morning (Sirius nearly splinched himself, having drank so much firewhiskey), but also made plans to go to Diagon Alley the next morning with Lily. She insisted they all needed new clothes and that she would not allow any of them buying clothes she did not authorize. She said she did not trust their taste.

Remus could only rarely sleep long after sunrise, and though he had not slept for more than four hours, he had not drank much the night before, and so felt quite fine getting up at eight and preparing himself a small sandwich and a pot of tea. Therefore, he was the only one awake when the big, brown owl came through the flat's open window and settled on the kitchen table. It looked at him expectantly. Putting down his cup of tea, he reached for the parcel that was tied to the owl's leg. The moment it was off, the owl took off as well, apparently not waiting for a reply. Remus examined the parcel. It was wrapped with brown paper and on the top was written, in a strong hand, _James Potter, Padfoot's Doghouse, Periwinkle Alley 8, London_. On the back was the St Mungo's emblem.

Putting the parcel down slowly, Remus settled back in his seat and sipped his tea once more, eyes trained on the brown lump. He found himself waiting anxiously for James to wake up.

Peter was the second to fall out of bed about an hour later, closely followed by the other two. James looked like a complete mess, his hair all over the place and his glasses hanging crookedly from one ear. He yawned and stretched, reaching for the teapot and getting himself a cup of the warm substance before he even noticed the parcel Remus was staring at so intently.

"What have you got there, Moony?" he asked through a yawn.

"Actually, it's for you," Remus said quietly. "From St Mungo's."

Fortunately (for Sirius, who had so very few usable cups, and for all of them, who were bare-footed), James had just put his cup down before Remus had said anything, and so it simply tittered for a moment before falling on the side and spilling its contents on the red plastic table. The happy chatter of Sirius and Peter in the background fell silent as well.

Four pairs of eyes focused on the innocent-looking lump lying on the table only a short distance from the rapidly cooling puddle of tea. Not one of the Marauders moved.

They had no way of knowing how long they stood there, barely moving, but since Lily had said she would come pick them up around eleven, it must have been a while, for the sound of the door opening softly was heard, at least by Remus.

"James! Sirius! Remus! Peter! Are you here?"

Lily's voice made everyone in the kitchen but James stir. Finally, Sirius cleared his throat and called, "In the kitchen, Lily."

Remus heard her footsteps coming near and then she entered the room while taking her brown plaid coat off. Her red hair dripped water on the floor, bearing testament of the rain pouring outside.

"Are you all right?" she asked curiously. "I knocked for five minutes and no one answered. I thought we were going to Diagon Alley today?"

"We are," three of the four young men echoed each other. James stayed silent and frozen to the spot, not even acknowledging his girlfriend.

"What's up with him?" Lily asked, frowning. She went around Remus and Peter in order to see what had captured her boyfriend's total attention. "What's that, James?" she asked when she finally noted him looking at the thick parcel lying on Sirius' kitchen table as though he could not breathe, as though it was a live snake.

"It's…" he gulped and stopped, still not reaching for the innocent-looking object.

"It's his exam results," Sirius supplied for him with a barely concealed grin.

"Exam results?" Her eyes rested on her boyfriend. "What exam?"

"He sat those Healing exams two weeks ago," Sirius replied smugly. "And now he's scared that he didn't pass, so the coward won't even look."

"Healing?" she asked weakly. "_James_?"

James gulped once more before glancing at Lily. "Err… Yeah. I… err… I took the Healing exams for the position that opened a couple of months ago. I… err… I'm going to be a Healer… I think."

"You want me to open it?" she asked after a moment of digesting his words. Though she obviously surprised, if not shocked, she realized that no one else was going to suggest it.

James' face relaxed almost immediately. "Please do?" he asked in a small voice, eyes hopeful and with the expression of a kicked puppy.

She laughed and picked the parcel up. All Marauders trained their attention on her as she slit it open gently and took out the first object, a thin, sealed parchment, which she opened as well before reading it aloud.

_"Dear Mr. Potter,"_ she began, pausing for effect.

_"It is our duty_ (-here James gasped in alarm and winced-)_ and pleasure to inform you that among the sixty candidates for the position of trainee Healer at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, you have scored highest. We have also received today your NEWTs results and have deemed them more than adequate._

_"We are happy to invite you to begin your training with us on Monday, two weeks from now. We will be awaiting your arrival at the staff room on the first floor (Artefact Accidents) at nine in the morning sharp._

_"Please find enclosed a list of books to be purchased and read by the time you join us, as well as the Hospital's Code, instruction book and expectations list. Please make sure to read and understand everything in them. If you have any questions, please present us with them upon your arrival._

_"Once again, we offer our congratulations,_

_"Hrs. Corinthia Anemone and Darius Lip."_

For a moment everyone was silent. Then James whooped in joy. "I passed the Healing exams! I can start my training in two weeks! Isn't that absolutely _wonderful_?"

**Don't think I've forgotten about the bike. Sirius'll get it eventually :) I hoped you liked the chapter!**

**What next? We learn what happens in everyone's life as they start their new jobs and everything, Petunia's wedding, a little bit of what's going on in the wizarding world, and anything else I might decide adding!**

**See you all there!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	35. Beginnings

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Ho-hum. Long time no see. Busy at work, busy life. I don't have any other excuse than that. On the other hand, I might be able to update a few times this week, seeing as I'm home until next Sunday - a whole week off!

Now, I want to apologise for my lack of answering to reviews lately. I hardly have time during the weekend, though I do my best. I just want to give a collective thank you to all those who reviewed the last few chapters - I _will_ send replies, once my life become a little more free again...

So anyway, thank you!

Also, I thought I'd make something clear. A few of you complained about the obviousness of James getting the highest score. I hope that the explanation in this chapter would be enough. If it isn't - let me know and I'll clarify my way of thinking :)

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirty Five - Beginnings**

It was the evening on the day after James had gotten his answering letter from St Mungo's, when Sirius entered the flat, looking smug and satisfied with himself. Knowing his friend for as long as he did, all the warning bells went off in Remus' mind.

"What did you do?" he asked without preamble, his eyes narrow with suspicion.

"What makes you say that, Moony?" he said with a broad smile. "I'm as innocent as an ickle first year."

Remus itched to tell him that as first years they had blown up everything they could put their hands on, but realized with frustration that this was exactly what his friend wanted. He sighed. "Just tell me what you did, Padfoot."

Sirius' grin widened. "We'll wait for James and Peter to come before I show you."

The Marauders had planned a goodbye party for Peter, since two days later he was due to start the vacation with his mother, and so they had sent Peter to get all sorts of groceries (some of them almost impossible to find) while James went to his home in order to bring all the goods his house-elves had worked on for two days.

"It's _Peter's_ surprise party," Remus found himself saying in annoyance. "Don't take all the fun out of it for him by putting _yourself_ at the center of things again."

Sirius looked a little affronted. "I won't! He'll be the first to try it with me!"

That made Remus even more suspicious, but he kept his mouth shut. He had an idea as to what Sirius' surprise was and was not sure Peter would like to be the first to try it with him at _all_. Still, it would make for an interesting evening, at least.

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"I can't bloody believe it," James said as the four of them stood in front of Sirius' latest acquisition after all the food had been eaten later that night. "You've gone ahead and gotten it."

Sirius looked so proud that he could burst. "Yep. I saw it in a Muggle display window and just had to get it. It fit right inside the budget as well!"

_It_, was a big, black, shiny Muggle motorbike, that looked too dangerous to be allowed anywhere _near_ Sirius. It was parked on the walkway next to Sirius' building, and, until he had unveiled it, was covered by a white cloth. They all stood by it, staring at the sheer monstrosity of the thing.

"So... Wormtail," Sirius said after a short while, his teeth gleaming as he smiled widely. "Want to be the first one to try it out with me?"

Peter gulped. Remus could swear he knew exactly what was going on in his friend's head. The last thing he could possibly want was to be on that two-wheeled creation with someone who had the responsibility of a three-year-old and the knack for trouble. That was one side of the dilemma. The other one was that, for once, Sirius treated Peter as a complete equal, wanting to help James and Remus in their attempt to make his last day with them before the trip as enjoyable as possible. He could not pass this chance, and he knew that all too well.

Finally, he nodded, and Sirius, with the smile on his face growing so wide it split said face almost in half, mounted the bike, waiting for Peter to join him.

It was late. Not one window in the neighbourhood was lit. It seemed that Sirius was waiting precisely for that before he showed them the bike. The moment Peter sat behind him, Sirius started the engine that made the most horrific sound as it rose to life. Remus was certain that it had waked the entire street. But all the windows remained dark.

And then the bike started moving. James and Remus, who were standing on the walkway, watched with growing alarm as the bike moved not only forward, but also up.

Sirius had charmed his bike to _fly_.

Open mouthed, they watched as Sirius took the bike high over the buildings, with poor Peter clutching at him desperately. He did not make a sound. Remus guessed he was far too scared to do so. At that precise moment he swore to himself. Sirius would _never_ get him on that horrible machine. Never. Broomsticks were bad enough of a deal. A flying monster such as this... It was completely out of the question.

Which goes to show how little power Remus had against Sirius' forces of persuasion.

Ten minutes later he was on that bike, his eyes tightly closed and wishing he had listened to his inner voice and stayed on the ground. The wind whipped his skin. It was cold and painful. He was not precisely dressed for such a trip. He now could completely sympathize with the look of abject horror that was on Peter's face only minutes before. He was pretty sure that his own face sported that selfsame look at that moment. He wanted to be off the diabolical creation of Sirius' wild imagination - safe and sound on the _ground_.

"Oh, come on, Moony!" he heard Sirius shout over the roar of the wind as the bike sped up even more than before. "Open your eyes! This is great!"

"I'll open my eyes once we're back on the ground, thank you!" he shouted back and then felt his stomach heave as Sirius' made yet another impossible loop in the air. Maybe opening his mouth was not that much of a good idea. He could feel the bile coming up his throat.

Sirius, apparently, was not completely unaware of Remus' plight, and shouted, "Hang on, Moony! We're going down!"

Remus clamped his mouth shut and kept his eyes even more tightly shut. Seconds later he felt the bike's front wheel hit the ground and then they slid to a stop. The moment the bike was no longer moving, he slipped, face first, to the ground, where he stayed, taking in large gulps of air as his stomach settled.

"Are you all right, Moony?" James asked from somewhere to his right.

"Never... ever... going... on that _thing_... again," he managed to let out before shutting his mouth again trying to hug the ground with his shaking arms.

In the end, of Sirius' three friends, only James seemed to appreciate the bike. He had enjoyed his ride very much, if his laughter was anything to go by. Remus remained sprawled on the walkway until the bike landed for the last time, with Peter by his side, muttering about crazy people with even crazier obsessions. Once Sirius turned off the engine, a laughing James helped Remus up the stairs and back into the flat.

Remus remained true to his word. That was his first and last time on Sirius' bike.

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"So? All ready for the big day?"

James was standing by the kitchen table in his smart, practical robes, sipping tea from the only clean cup in Sirius' kitchen. His robes were newly-made, dark blue in colour and simply cut. No one, however, was the deceived. The robes were made of the finest material, pleasant to the touch, but strong and charmed against the more common causes for tears, burns and stains. They had cost quite a bit, but would serve him well in the period before he would get the St Mungo's trademark lime green robes.

"Not really," he said, though there was a smile on his face. Ready or not, he was excited and quite confident that he would make it.

Sirius was also there, looking as though he would have rather stay in bed instead of wishing James good luck on his first day at work. Only the week before he and Keira had gotten their NEWTs results and were gratified to find that they both qualified for Auror Academy. They would be starting there at the beginning of September, and Sirius claimed he had to get as much sleep as possible before that. The fact that it was barely the start of August did not register in his mind.

"G'luck, mate," he mumbled through a yawn. "You going yet?"

James snorted. "So eager to get me out of the flat, Padfoot? I'm flattered."

Sirius made a face, but said nothing.

"Well, then. I suppose I _should_ go," James said, picking up his bag from the floor.

"Have fun!"

Sirius and Remus spent the day in Diagon Alley, with Remus helping Sirius to shop for various house appliances and food. They came back just in time to greet James back. Their friend, sadly enough, looked a lot let certain of himself and a little pale. When asked what happened, he refused to speak before he ate something and showered. When he was finally ready, a cup of tea close by and a plate of cookies (freshly baked by Remus' mother that morning and brought to them by her on her way to work) next to it, he said, "Well. It wouldn't be as easy as we all assumed."

They waited for him to compose his thoughts.

"When Healers Anemone and Lip said I scored the highest, what they actually meant was that my mark was one of the three highest. There were sixty people who sat the exam, but there were also three positions open. The thing is, it doesn't end here. I was _lucky_ to be among the first three. Now I have to prove that I actually deserve it. They made it absolutely clear that scoring highest in the exam is a stroke of luck. If in the next months I fail to prove myself to them, I will be kicked out and the next on their list would get the position and so on and so forth.

"Those two others with me - Anne Larsson and Henry Beauchamp - they've been out of school for a few years now. Larsson was at Hogwarts in Narcissa's year, and Beauchamp finished at Beaubattons two years ago. They had _ages_ to prepare. They know more about Healing than I do and they've made no mistakes today.

"I did."

He told them how Anemone quizzed them about all sorts of things practically the moment they entered the staff room, and that he had made so many mistakes, that he was sure they would kick him out in less than a week. Seeing James so dejected hurt both of his friends. They did their best to encourage him, but as it turned out, the true cure to his foul mood came in the shape of Lily, who arrived at the flat around eleven that night, wearing a simple dress of blue silk, unadorned, and with her red hair all over the place.

"Just got back from Petunia's wedding," she said, looking exhausted. "I looked so pathetic without a date. But Petunia forbade me to bring anyone of _my_ sort to _her_ wedding. Blah!"

"Was it bad?" James asked curiously, looking a little more alert than before. Remus remembered his saying something about Lily being in a _very_ bad mood because of her sister's upcoming wedding.

"It was _horrible_," Lily said, apparently torn between wanting to cry and wanting to laugh. "If _my_ wedding would be like that, I wouldn't know where to bury myself. The bridesmaids wore salmon pink. Have you ever known _anyone_ who looked good in salmon pink?"

"There are people to whom it fits," Remus said slowly. "Can't think of anyone I know, but I'm sure there are..."

Lily waved it off and said," All of my sister's bridesmaids were in the most wrong colouring for salmon pink. They looked like pink balls of fluff with all those ruffles and frills. Oh - and _Marge_-" she dissolved into tears of mirth.

"Who's Marge?"

"Vernon's sister," she managed to gasp out. "She looks like a female version of him - complete with the mustache!"

James nodded, a small grin appearing on his lips. "Oh, yeah. I remember. I caught a glimpse of her once before Lily and I snuck out of the house through her bedroom window. What a cow!"

Sirius and Remus glanced at him sharply, having not heard the story before.

"I was at Lily's two weeks ago," he quickly explained, sharing a quick smile with his girlfriend. "We didn't know that Vernon's family was coming for dinner. Lily's mum was so _sure_ she had told us. Anyway, we really weren't up for three hours of having our... what did he call it?"

"Eccentricities," Lily said, making a face.

"Oh, right. Anyway, we didn't want our eccentricities discussed for three hours, so we've decided to make a run for it. And we did. But anyway, as I was saying, as we climbed out of the window, I just caught a glimpse of that Marge character. She was _ugly_. Horrible creature."

After that, James' mood rose marvelously. They spent the night listening to Lily telling about the catastrophe that was her sister's wedding - from the lurid flower arrangements to the point where Marge Dursley got drunk and started dancing on the food tables. In the morning, when James had to get back to St Mungo's, he was just as cheerful and optimistic as he was the day before, ready to greet the day.

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Peter returned home earlier than anticipated, around late August. His mother, he explained as he sank gratefully into a chair back at Padfoot's Doghouse to which he had escaped the moment they got home, had an upset stomach, caused by something she ate that must have been off. "Personally," he said, "I think she just got tired of being away from home and looked for an excuse to cut the trip short."

Apparently, the trip was just as bad as Peter had envisioned it. It seemed as though he had not enjoyed one moment of it and spent its entirety miserably thinking about what he could be doing with his friends at that precise moment.

From the flat, they Apparated to Remus' house. His mother said that it was her turn to make sure they ate properly, and invited them all to dinner. When Remus helped her set the table, however, she confessed to having different reasons for asking them to come.

"You're hardly home, Remus," she said quietly, setting the steel cutlery in place. "I could handle it when you were at Hogwarts, because I knew how it is, but... Now that you're out of school, you could continue living with us. I really do miss you, darling, as does your father. You only come around during the full moon when you need a secure place to stay."

"I know," he whispered, for the first time feeling guilty at crashing at Sirius' almost the entire summer. His parents had given up so much for him. Was that how he repaid them? He vowed to spend more time with them.

After dinner, they all sat together in the sitting room, talking mostly about Hogwarts, telling Remus' parents about their adventures and everything funny they could think of. Somehow, the conversation got around to James and his obsession with Lily.

"-she was so oblivious," Sirius said, laughing. "She had no idea just how obsessed he was about her. So I decided to take matters into my own hands."

James threw an embroidered pillow at his friend's head, but that did not stop William Lupin from asking, "What did you do, then?"

"Sent her one of his drawings, sighed with Your Secret Admirer."

"You can't be serious!" Remus' mother said in disbelief.

"Oh, he's serious, all right, Mrs. Lupin," Peter said. "And he continued sending them to her until she finally said yes."

"And how did she react, discovering this?"

An uncomfortable silence ended the light-hearted atmosphere. Three pairs of eyes fixed themselves on a very conscious James.

"I... Didn't tell her," he finally said, not meeting any of those eyes.

"Oh, James," Saffron sighed. "You really should. She might not like the fact that you've kept it away from her."

James did not answer.

Later that night, when the Marauders were getting ready for bed, Sirius confronted James with the problem once more.

"It's really about time you told her," he said, more serious than ever. "Do you want her to spend the rest of her life wondering what it could have been with her secret admirer? I don't think you do. It's time to come clean."

All of James' three friends looked at him with the same expression in their eyes. He had kept the lie going for too long. It was truly the time to tell Lily the truth.

The next morning, he made a floo call to her place via the Lupins' fireplace, with the other three sitting close beside him to make sure he stayed with the original plan that they had concocted during the night.

"Oh, Hello, Mrs. Evans," they heard him say. "Could you call Lily for me, please?"

Minutes later, Lily came. Remus could faintly hear her voice coming through the connection, but he doubted that anyone else could hear her.

"Hey, love," James said, unabashed, despite knowing that her mother may still be in the room. "Mum invited the others over for the weekend - Dad is off on some convention during the day and I think she's getting a little lonely - it means good food and good company, so I wondered if you'd like to join us? I do believe it's high time for you to meet _my_ parents, Lily."

"I've already met them, you know," her whispering voice reminded him. "Back in the summer between second and third year? When Keira invited all of us there? You spilled hot chocolate all over my knees."

"Yes, I know you did," he said, laughing sheepishly at the stupidity of his thirteen-year-old self. "What I meant is that it's time for you to meet them as my girlfriend, and not as this girl I hated half to death."

Remus could not hear the reply this time, but apparently it was affirmative, for when James withdrew from the flames seconds later, his face looked worried.

"I don't think I can do this," he muttered hopelessly.

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They Apparated away from Remus' home the next morning, but not before Saffron warned her son to behave for a change, and that if his post-full moon symptoms appear again, to come home immediately.

The Marauders spent the morning helping James' mother around the house. It was time for summer cleaning, as she had put it, and why not use help when it was so freely available? The boys grumbled and muttered under their breaths, but said nothing. You just did not say no to an old woman with the energy of a twenty-year-old, the temper of a redhead and a well-used wand in hand.

Lily arrived shortly before dinner to find the Marauders sprawled on the bare floor of the newly-painted Northern drawing room, covered in soot, fresh paint and dust. Even though they were allowed to use magic now that they were fully trained wizards, house cleaning was not an easy work.

"I see you've been kept busy," she told them with a grin. "Your mum said I could find you here."

James groaned and picked himself up from the floor. "That's nice... So you've met her?"

"I told you," she said, rolling her eyes. "I've already met her before. But, yes, we talked a little and then your dad came back, so I went to find you. Your mum seems to think that you'd be up to no good if she wouldn't give the lot of you work to do."

"How well she knows us..." Sirius said dreamily from his place on the floor. "Get going, Prongs, or I will personally hex you into hell and back."

Lily glanced at him, confused.

James looked helplessly from Sirius to Remus and then to Peter, hoping the last two would save him and contradict Sirius' words, but they all glared at him. Remus knew when James was trying to weasel his way out of something, but this was neither the time nor the place. James _had_ to tell Lily.

His shoulders slumping in defeat, James took Lily's hand. "We have to talk, love. Let's go to my room."

Looking even more confused, and even slightly fearful, Lily allowed James to drag her after him, leaving the three Marauders alone.

"You think she's going to take it badly?" Peter asked the room in general.

Sirius shrugged. "You never can tell with Lily, now can you? We'll have to wait and see.

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Lily had only once been to Potter Manor before, and it had been years since that single visit. Because of that, everything on their way to James' room was just as magnificent and awe-inspiring as it had been all those years ago. And yet, she could not completely enjoy the sights and sounds that were her boyfriend's home. Her stomach was churning. What could James possibly want to talk to her about? It sounded so ominous... Had he not called her 'love', she would have thought he was about to break up with her. But if it was not that, then what could it be?

Finally, they reached James' private wing. She vaguely remembered the way it was built, and vividly remembered the room she shared with Keira and Haley. There was only one room there that she had not been allowed anywhere near, and she could see James was becoming nervous as they approached the door that led to that very same room. He stopped when they reached it and turned to face her. His face was somewhat pale and he gulped, as though wanting to tell her something and afraid it would not come out as it should.

Finally, he said, "Whatever you see in there... please remember that I was young and that you wouldn't give me the time of day."

She wondered what could possibly be this bad that he felt he had to warn her. And then he opened the door, and she wondered no more. Instead, she stared at the wall on which so many pictures hung, her mouth open. Taking small, slow steps that led her closer to the wall she began taking in the magnitude of what she was seeing.

"All these years..." she whispered. "It was _you_..."

There was no mistaking that style and no mistaking the fact that the main figure starring in most of the pictures hanging on the walls of James' room was hers. She walked from picture to picture, taking in the details, the extent to which James' interest - obsession even -went to.

"You stopped sending them after we started dating," she said softly, as though almost talking to herself. "I thought the person sending them was someone else that realized he had no chance now that you were in the picture."

"Nope," he said, half-proud, half-embarrassed. "All me."

"I... I _really_ don't know what to say, James," she let out, still looking stunned.

"Did you like them?" he asked carefully.

"Well, _yes_. They are beautiful. I kept them on my nightstand back at Hogwarts."

"I know. Keira told me."

"Keira told - For how long has Keira _known_?"

"Not long. She barged into here during the Christmas holiday while I was out. I had no choice but to explain, and she promised she won't breathe a word of it to you. I didn't want you to discover it like that."

Lily was absolutely speechless.

He touched his fingers to her chin, raising it so that she looked into his eyes. "I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid that you would hate me for that - for hiding all those years and not telling you it was me when we were finally dating. The boys pushed me into it. They said I had to tell you or you would forever wonder if I was the right choice. I just... hope that you understand that when I drew those pictures, it was because I truly and honestly felt strongly for you and wished you would have me."

"James..." she took a deep breath before continuing. "I won't deny that I kept wondering who the person who sent me those pictures was, but when we started dating and I saw that it was becoming the real thing, I packed those pictures at the very bottom of my trunk. I did not throw them because I wanted to remember that there was someone out there who thought so highly of me, but I did not continue to look at them, because I had _you_. I am certain that you are the one for me, and discovering that it was you... It only makes me that much more certain."

No more words were exchanged after that.

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When Lily and James came back down, more than hour after leaving Sirius, Peter and Remus at the Northern drawing room, they both had wide smiles stretched on their faces. Something told Remus that he really did not want to know what had gone on in James' room only minutes before. The only thing he needed to know was that the discovery of her secret admirer's identity did not unhinge Lily's faith in her boyfriend, and that was good enough for him. He was certain that his two friends were destined to one another.

That evening and the morning after were of the happiest of that summer. The four boys and Lily spent their time at the family's private lake, trying to ride on the family's horses (with only James being really successful at it, seeing as he had practice) and simply lazing about.

Lily had gone to visit Keira late that afternoon, promising to come back the next morning before they left Potter Manor. The girls were planning on taking Keira out for her last free night before committing her life to being an Auror. It was a little sad for them that Wren could not join them, being stuck on that isle so far away, but they would make sure, Lily said, to take pictures and send them to her so that she would not feel left out.

That left the four boys alone once more and quite under Laura Potter's feet.

After they had blown up yet another firework by mistake in the Western drawing room, James' mother snapped.

"James, take your friends outside," she said quietly, but with fire in her eyes that told her son that they had taken things too far. "I don't care if you insist on blowing up things, but please - _not_ inside the house. Go play Quidditch or something."

Behind Sirius and James' backs, Remus tried to signal to her, ask her to offer something for them to do. Quidditch really was not his cup of tea - not watching and _definitely_ not playing. He had gone to every match at Hogwarts and enjoyed them immensely because of the adrenalin that ran through him together with the rest of the crowd, because of the competition and the fun, but anything else that had to do with the popular game just did not speak to him.

Laura, however, thought it was a great idea to have the boys out of the house and doing something mostly harmless. "Yes," she said. "Why _don't_ you go and play Quidditch? We have more than enough broomsticks and you haven't aired up the Quidditch balls in quite a while, love. And your dad got them especially for your eighteenth, remember?"

The woman was a master manipulator, Remus thought with an inner groan. She was playing on James' guilt and passion professionally. Thinking about it, he had never known a mother who knew her own son so well. She knew precisely where to hit, and it worked like a charm.

James' eyes lit up.

"Who's up for Quidditch?" he asked excitedly, already leaving the drawing room and leading them towards one of the back doors out of the manor.

There was no need to ask Sirius for his opinion, seeing the extra bounce in his steps, and Peter merely shrugged and said, "Why not. Could be fun." All eyes turned to Remus, who had stopped in his tracks, hands planted on his hips like some angry mother hen.

"You're not getting me on a broomstick," he said flatly. "I'm still traumatized from Peter's party last month."

He was not lying. Though he had nothing against broomsticks and was a rather good flyer, the experience on Sirius' bike told him he would need to have his feet on the ground for a little while longer. Every time he saw a broomstick - or worse, Sirius' bike - he would get a sick feeling and feel his stomach starting to heave again, remembering the loops and swoops so high in the air. He decided that the sky would be off-limits to him until he felt safe in his own abilities again.

"Oh, but, _Moony_!" Sirius whined. "We can't play Quidditch in three!"

"You can play one on one in turns," he said, not budging from his stance.

"But that's no fun!"

"I don't care. Let's go. I'm sitting on the ground."

Sirius made a sad face, but James took him by the arm, saying, "It's his right, Padfoot. Let's go get our brooms."

Happy in his absolute victory over Sirius' powers of persuasion this time and satisfied that James had supported him in his decision despite the fact that he obviously wanted Remus to play just as badly, he did not pay attention to the two. James and Sirius walked slightly ahead of him, with Peter somewhere in-between. Then, all of a sudden, Sirius broke away from James and almost raced towards Remus, a determined look in his eyes.

"Please, Moony?" he said, falling to his knees in front of Remus and putting his hands together in a begging motion. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeease? I'm leaving in two days. Indulge me. Please?"

Remus was caught so much by surprise, that his kindness took over his better sense, making him shake his head exasperatedly. "Well... If it's that important to you-"

Before he even finished the sentence, Sirius was back on his feet, punching the air in victory as he did. "Yes!"

Beside him, James shook his head. "Really, Moony. I thought you had more fiber than that. _But_ - let's go play Quidditch! Told you he'd fall for that, Padfoot! You owe me five Galleons!"

Remus knew he should feel betrayed, but he knew his two friends all too well. And, well, if playing Quidditch for once in his life would make them happy...

They played fairly enough, with James on one side and Sirius on the other. Peter was James' Seeker, and Remus was Sirius'. They both had no practice in that position, so it was quite all right.

The Potters' private Quidditch pitch was half the size of the one at Hogwarts, and there was only one stand for people to sit and watch. It was still a grand construction, with the Potter Coat of Arms decorating the low, marble wall that marked the border of the pitch in regular intervals.

They played without Bludgers, but that did not mean the game was not exhilarating. On the contrary, the fact that two inexperienced players were on the field made for a _very_ interesting game.

"Wormtail!" Sirius yelled angrily after the fifth time Peter had nearly unseated him in a desperate attempt to regain control of his own broomstick that was needed after a complicated loop he had tried to do, flying after the elusive Snitch.

"Sorry!"

And that was when Remus lost control of _his_ broomstick and crashed into the stands, making James shake his head and then steal the Quaffle straight out of the distracted Sirius' hands.

Speeding towards Sirius and Remus' side of the pitch, he made a spectacular double loop and scored neatly in the middle ring.

"AND POTTER SCORES!" Sirius hollered, laughing, as James swooped around the field in a mock-victory lap.

"Thank you! Thank you!" James cried, feigning tears. "I never thought you would all admire me like this!"

"AND HIS HEAD IS STILL AS BIG AS IT USED TO BE! PRAISE BE TO MERLIN!" Sirius continued, making James swoop down on him in mock anger, attempting to knock him off his broom. Sirius laughed and swerved to one side, instigating a game of chase around the pitch.

Only after James had caught up and pummeled Sirius with the handy Quaffle did the four boys touch the ground and got off their brooms. It was a hot day and Sirius and James in particular were sweating profusely.

"Let's go sit in the shade for a while before we take this up again," Remus suggested, feeling wilted. It was the first time in a _very_ long period that James and Sirius managed to convince him that playing Quidditch with them would not be such a bad idea. While it was fun, he felt tired and drenched in sweat. A little rest would do him well.

Led by James, they made their way to the low wall that marked the boundaries of the pitch. The space just bellow the wall was pleasantly shadowed. They settled comfortably on the grass with their broomsticks by their side. Remus and James were sitting with their backs to the wall while Sirius was sprawled on his back, arms cushioning his head, and Peter on his stomach, lazily tracing the grass with his finger. None of them felt the need to talk.

"So..." Remus said after a while, looking at Sirius. "We won't be the seeing you and Keira for the next three months unless you fail the basic?"

"That's right," Sirius replied, staring at the sky.

"So... do that mean James and I get the flat?"

"Why, Moony, old boy!" James burst in laughter. "Didn't know you had it in you!"

Remus grinned and Sirius sat up. He clapped Remus on the back in appreciation. "Yes, Moony. The place is yours to have and to hold for the next three months. What about you, Wormtail? Want to join in on the fun?"

Peter jerked suddenly, not at all ready for someone addressing him. "What?" he said. "Well... I'd love to, but... Mum sort of put her foot down on that just before I came to the flat last week. I'm allowed to stay at the flat while I still don't have a job, but once I get accepted she said I have to stay at home so she can make sure I'm eating properly and getting enough sleep. You know how she is..."

They all nodded. Peter's mother had always been a little too overprotective of him. It came from being a single child of a woman who had lost her husband rather early on in life. Peter had always handled it rather well, but they all knew he missed his father and felt quite exasperated with his mother's antics.

They continued to lie there in silence until once more Remus broke the silence.

"Are you all packed?" he asked Sirius. "You're leaving in two days, after all."

"Don't have much to pack," his friend replied, shrugging. He was once again on his back, staring upwards. "I talked about it with Gavin and Laura. They said to bring as little as possible, seeing as they allow only very specific things to be brought along during basic. We'll be supplied with a uniform and every essential we might need - but only the bare minimum. It's supposed to be tough and all that."

Remus happened to glance at James at that moment, thinking he had heard a tiny sigh coming from him. He just caught the edge of a wistful look before James schooled his features once more. It suddenly struck Remus that no matter that James said about being happy with his decision and knowing Healing was the best career choice for him, he still wanted to be an Auror and work with Sirius and Keira out on the field, catching Dark wizards.

"Well, then," the spectacled young man said, however, in a cheery voice. "You two will be having the time of your lives, to judge by my parents' stories! And I'll be there to patch you up when you're through!"

Too cheerful. Much too cheerful.

**Okay, so what I said would be in this chapter wasn't really precise, but I hope you have enjoyed it all the same... Tell me what you think!**

**In the next chapter: James and his problems, Remus and **_**his**_**, jobs, fights and something dark is in the air... **

**See you all there!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	36. Pain of the Survivor

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Dear readers (**do** **not feel compelled to read this**, I just felt I had to tell you this, though),

Last week I received a review that pretty much made me think. It wasn't a flame - not remotely so. In fact it was a legitimate complaint which I expected more of you to make, but the way it was delivered was not so pleasant. The reader pretty much informed me that she has stopped reading the story and removed it from her favourites because I have not updated for two months. She has also accused me (after I answered her, of course), of writing for myself and not for my readers. She was very polite about it, and for that I have to thank her because it could have been so much worse, but I thought I should tell you my reasoning:

Those of you, who have been following my stories ever since they first appeared on fanfiction some three or four years ago, know that, above all, I have always cared for what my readers think. I make sure to reply every single review I receive (though admittedly I have neglected that due to my busy schedule and I have apologised for that in the past), I read as many of my readers' stories as time allows and I have been keeping a steady dialogue with many of my readers in the past.

As I explained to that reader, while writing has always been my greatest passion, I do have my real life to keep. I have a job, I have friends and I have a family. I enjoy writing, but it doesn't encompass my entire life. There are times when I can't write - be it because of crises, workload or simple writer's block. I can accept complaints about my lack of updates, because they're justified, but I cannot accept that someone demands of me to put my entire life on hold for something that I simply enjoy doing on my free time and receive no money for the effort I put in it.

Just thought I should explain.

I admit that I should have posted something to inform you of the delay as she suggested, but I'm sorry, it was the last thing on my mind. I thought people would understand - and most of you _have_ done just that.

**Thank you for your patience, your encouragement, and your constant reviewing and putting me on your favourites. I owe you**.

**THAT SAID:**

As you all know, book seven rendered _some_ of my story AU. By the time it came out, I had already written major parts of the next chapters, which are rather more than a little AUish in nature. Question is:

Do you want me to leave them as they are, or take a little longer and re-write them? I'd appreciate your opinions.

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirty Six - Pain of the Survivor**

Sirius and Keira left for the Auror Academy two days later. They had to be there early on, and so Sirius did not bother waking either James or Remus up when he left. When Remus woke up, it was still rather early, and yet James was already up, sitting by the kitchen table, determinedly studying out of one of the many books he had purchased shortly after starting at St Mungo's. A half-empty cup of tea was by his side, as well as an almost untouched pastry.

"Why are you up?" Remus asked him, yawning and stretching. "You still have a couple of hours before you have to go to the hospital."

"I have to study," James answered distractedly. "I feel like I'm not doing the best I can. Larsson and Beauchamp are doing much better than I am. They had a whole year to prepare for this position and I only had a couple of months. I need to catch up. Quickly." Then he went back to his books.

Remus considered for a moment to remind him that despite having only a couple of months to prepare for the entrance exams, James had gotten one of the three openings, but decided against it, seeing that James was in such a foul mood. He had no doubt as to the cause of his friend's disposition, but deemed it an unfit time to mention it. Later on, he would think it would have been better to make James come to terms with the way his wishes and his sense of duty collided, but it would be already too late.

It was so gradual at first, that he did not notice it. He himself spent most of his time walking around Diagon Alley and other wizarding places, trying to look for a job. Few places had openings. Having had all Ministry jobs barred from him, he had resigned himself to the fact that he would have to work as a clerk somewhere, but he began losing hope that he would ever find a job at all. Every time he went to visit his parents, they tried to cheer him up and say that sooner or later someone will take him. He could not tell them that every time he applied for one of the few openings he could find, and asked for three days off every month, he had to tell his interviewer why and then was politely (or not) told that they did not hire Dark creatures.

Finally, he was so frustrated that he decided on doing something drastic that borderlined on illegal in the current circumstances of the Wizarding World. At the very back of one of the tiny alleys leading away from the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley, he found a small bookshop that specialized in ancient works of wizards that no one had ever heard of, and was in need of a shop assistant. The pay offered was low, but it would at least allow him to say that he was no longer living off the backs of James and Sirius. He did not mention his affliction and did not ask for days off. The owner had no idea he was werewolf, and he intended to keep it so. He would simply have to cope.

Mr. Allen, his boss, was an elderly man in a constantly bad mood. He hated people being loud in the shop, he hated people talking in the shop, he hated people touching the books in his shop, and in short, Remus soon realized that it was no wonder that no one ever entered the place. Mr. Allen was irritable in the morning. Mr. Allen was irritable during the afternoon. Mr. Allen was even irritable in the evening, when he grudgingly told Remus he could go away (and mind the door!). The only time he was _not_, in fact, irritable, was when he was snoozing in the back room, every day, from ten in the morning until eleven thirty. It soon became apparent to daring customers that this was the only time to come by the shop, since that was when Remus was there to make business, calm and pleasant as he could be.

Not surprisingly, though the shop's income increased from the moment of Remus' arrival there, Mr. Allen still remained irritable.

Only then, when Remus was settled with a job, did he notice that something was off with James. The first thing he noticed was that his clothes were hanging off him as though they no longer fit. Although Healers' robes were sewn so that they made it hard to see the shape of the person wearing them, Remus could see that James' shoulders were not filling them as well as they used to, and when his friend changed into casual clothes, it became undeniably obvious that he had lost significant weight. A quick check of Sirius' fridge supplied all the proof he needed. Even considering that Sirius was no longer there to pig on all the food, there was more food there than should have been.

Then he started keeping a closer eye on James. The findings were not at all encouraging. There were dark patches underneath his eyes, and his skin was in an unhealthy shade. He barely touched food at all, and worse than that - he barely slept. James was living off sheer will, or so it seemed.

And then came the day when James did not get up. Remus, who had returned rather late from his work at the bookshop, woke up around eight thirty, feeling refreshed and ready to face yet another day at his mundane work. As he made his way to the kitchen in order to make himself a cup of tea, he noticed that James' bag and cloak were still on the chair in the living space, where he had left them the evening before, yet there was no sign of his friend.

Worried, he went to Sirius' room, where James usually slept.

His friend was lying on his improvised bed on the floor (knowing Sirius' personal hygiene, Remus did not blame him), dead to the world. Frowning, he walked towards James, making sure to step as loudly as possible. James did not even stir.

"But, Muuuuuuuuuum, I don't want to go to school today," he moaned as Remus shook him awake with great difficulty.

"I'm not your mum, Prongs," Remus said quietly. "It's time for you to get up. You're supposed to be at St Mungo's in twenty minutes."

James sat bolt upright at those words. "What happened to my alarm clock?" he asked in confusion, his voice thick with sleep. "I put an alarm clock on."

"You turned it off and went back to sleep, I imagine," Remus replied, noting that the clock had not mysteriously combusted during the night. "When did you go to sleep last night? I went to the bathroom at around three and the light was still on."

"Around five, I think," James said, getting out of his makeshift bed and shrugging into his clothes.

"You've been at the hospital until eleven, studied until five and got up now - with _great_ difficulty, might I add," Remus said exasperatedly. "Don't you think you're stretching yourself a little _thin_?"

As James pulled on the lime-green robes of a St Mungo's Healer, he said, "I have to do my best, Moony, or I will be kicked out. I'm fine. Really, I am."

But he was not, and everyone could see it. Everyone but him. It was time to bring out the heavy cavalry. It was time to talk with Lily.

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"Have you any idea what might have cause this sudden change in his study pattern?" Lily immediately asked after he told her in general lines what was going on. They were at the bookshop where he worked, at the back. His boss told him to alphabetize the books by the author's name and considering the mess the shop was in, it was going to take a while. "This place is really dusty, you know," she added after sneezing loudly before he could answer.

"Yeah, I know," he said, handing her his handkerchief. "Mr. Allen won't clean around. Says the books might fall apart. Anyway, I don't have an _idea_. I know precisely why he's doing it. It's his way of getting around the fact that he's not really doing what he truly wants to do. He's throwing himself completely into it, trying not to think about the fact that Sirius is now at Auror Academy with Keira, doing what _James_ had wanted to do ever since he was a little child. Think it over, Lily, and I think you'll see the truth in that."

She understood, of course. She had been James' girlfriend for less than a year, but she had been his rival for six. She knew his every quirk and every weakness. She knew his ambitions and his fears. She also knew that more than anything he would have liked to be an Auror and continue the family's tradition, no matter what he said about needing to be there for his family when he started one. "Right," she finally said. "The stupid lump is killing himself just because he's jealous that Sirius is living his dream and he isn't. What is he doing to himself, Remus? I need to know exactly what's going on in that head of his."

"He doesn't sleep, he doesn't eat, he studies harder than he ever had - it's becoming ludicrous, Lily. If he doesn't stop soon, he'll collapse, and then what'll happen to all his hard work?"

She looked at him for a while in silence, and he knew he must look ridiculous - so vehement and yet covered by a big, dusty apron, with small bits of fluff in his hair. He did not mind, and he was sure that she did not, either. She crossed her arms and nodded.

"It's all right, Remus," she said firmly. "I'm on it."

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Eavesdropping is a bad habit, but as been previously established, it did not injure Remus' sensibilities in the slightest. While Lily _did_ confine him to the guest room, telling him to stay put and make no sound, she apparently was not aware of the convenient fact of Remus' enhanced hearing.

When James came into the flat late that evening, it became obvious to Remus that while she locked him in the room, Lily had done some drastic redecoration to James' work area (namely, the entire kitchen table, which had not been visible under all of his books for over a week), for the moment his friend walked into the kitchen, his voice rang clear.

"What happened to my stuff?" he demanded.

"What stuff?" Lily's voice came cool and disinterested. There were sounds of pots clanging as she warmed up food.

"My books, my notes - my _stuff_."

"Oh. That. You're not getting them back." There was a moment of shocked silence before she amended, "That is, you're not getting them back 'til you've eaten a good, balanced dinner and had a good night's sleep."

"What?! But, _Lily_-!"

"I'm not listening to any excuses, James! Remus' mum sent us a nice meal and I've made salad. _You_ are going to eat it, take a long shower - and wash your hair, it's becoming greasy - you're starting to look like Snape - and then get a good night's sleep. During your day off tomorrow, you're coming with me and Remus to my parents, where you will eat like a normal human being. Only when we get back I will return your books to you. _But_, you will only study until I say so and then go to sleep again. You can go back to trying to kill yourself during the work week - but on your day off - you rest!"

Remus had to admit he was impressed by the way Lily handled the situation. She did not allow James time to sweet-talk her or weasel his way out of it. She presented him with facts and left him to handle them. Not to mention that saying he was starting to look like Snape must have worked like a charm. James _did_ wash his hair that night.

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Remus had to admit that his friend looked much better the next morning when he got up. Lily had sent him to bed at ten, before she left, threatening him with castration if he as much as left bed for the bathroom during the night. Surprisingly enough, he had slept all through the night, right until ten in the morning.

"Lily's coming to pick us up in half an hour's time," Remus told him after he had had a cup of tea. "You'd better get ready."

"Has she forgotten we could Apparate?" James asked in surprise. "I swear - ever since her parents got her that car-"

"She doesn't think you should Apparate when you're so exhausted," Remus interjected. "It's a Muggle neighbourhood and she doesn't want you splinching yourself in front of her neighbours."

"My," James said dryly, "what a vote of confidence. What about-"

"Sirius' floo powder looks fishy to me. And besides," he added as nonchalantly as he possibly could, "Lily thinks the powder won't react well with the potion she put in your tea last night."

"Oh. I - _what?!_"

So apparently it had not gone unnoticed.

"Err... She put a tiny bit of sleeping potion in your tea last night so you could sleep better."

James' shoulders sagged. "Meddlesome wench," he huffed, though with a genuine note of affection.

At Lily's insistence, James' week became much more balanced. She dictated for him how many hours he was allowed to study each day, made sure that there will always be healthy food in the flat (she had her mother's and James' mother's help on that) and bullied Remus into making sure he truly ate on the nights she could not come to make sure of that herself. She forced James to take every evening a mild potion that made him drowsy enough so he could sleep without any thought plaguing his mind, and confiscated his things during his day off. On those days off, she always dragged him either to her parents' or to his, and, on occasion, they went to a restaurant.

Every once in a while Remus joined them on those visits. He could see how Lily's parents were quickly warming up to James, and how _his_ parents were already treating _her_ as a daughter. Thinking back on all the years that have passed since the Marauders had met Lily Evans, he realized that things could not have gone any better.

This feeling of his intensified when Sirius and Keira came back from their three months of basic training, exhausted but exhilarated. They had both passed, though Sirius was nearly kicked out a couple of times, "For cheek," he said. Somehow, none of his friends were surprised.

Sadly enough, it was this happy event that made Remus realize something not so pleasant. As a trainee Auror, Sirius got a hefty pay that covered the risks he was taking. Remus knew that after the three years of training, his pay would double. Good Aurors were hard to come by, and so they were rewarded accordingly. James, as a trainee Healer, got a little less, but was still being paid much more than minimum wages. Had he wanted, he could rent a flat of his own without anyone's help and without using his family's funds. Instead he lived with Remus and Sirius and shared the costs with Sirius. Peter returned home, reluctantly, but was still almost always there. The difference was that Remus used the water and electricity that Sirius and James paid for, ate their food and slept in the flat. He did not pay rent, and that made him feel dependent, and more than that. It made him feel like a leech, living off his hard-working friends' backs.

His job at Mr. Allen's bookshop would hardly cover an fifth of Sirius' bills. He was so tired of feeling like a charity case. Ever since he had met his friends they had supported him, invited him to their houses, fed him, and spent so much of their time on him... Enough was enough. Sooner or later they were bound to realize that he did not deserve so much of their time and money. Sooner or later they would grow tired of letting him live off their backs.

It was time to move on and find a place of his own. He had to learn how to live off his own hard-earned money. His friend might not always be there when he needed them, and so he had to be ready to live without their help.

It was time to tell his friends.

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"You don't _have_ to leave the flat, Moony," Sirius said almost as soon as the words left Remus' mouth. "It's mine - it's not like I'm paying rent, and you help with buying the food and you're the only one who actually cleans the place."

Remus sighed, putting down the few clothes he had picked up from the floor. "Yes, and you pay the bills, which, if I'm not very much mistaken, are very high. I'm tired of feeling like I'm using you and your hospitality, Padfoot. And... All in all, I think it's time for me to find a place of my own."

Sirius gaped at him. "But - really, Moony. You know I'd _tell _you if you would've become a burden. I've invited you here to begin with because I thought it would benefit the lot of us! C'mon. Don't do this, mate. You know you're being ridiculous."

"Sirius," Remus replied heavily, "this is my decision to make. Ever since I left Hogwarts I've done nothing to help with the rent. I can't do this. It goes against my nature. I can't be dependent on you and James forever - nor can I take my parents' help for granted. They're not rich, and I can't live off their backs. And if I can't allow myself to take from my own _family_, why should you be any different? I need to know how to stand on my own feet. I can't do that with you paying all my bills."

Sirius had nothing to say to that, and when he attempted enlisting James' help in convincing Remus to stay, the messy-haired young man merely sighed and, placing his hand firmly on Remus' shoulder, said, "It's your decision, Moony, and if that's what's best for you, then I'm behind you all the way. Just remember what friends - and family - are for. We'll still be here if you ever need us."

It turned out that finding a place of his own was not as easy as he had made it sound when talking to Sirius. The pay he got from Mr. Allen was low, and he could not ask for a raise. At the moment, since he was working for the bare minimum, Mr. Allen had no reason to question his frequent 'colds' and periods of weakness. If Remus would demand more money for his services, the old man might look for excuses to kick him out. He doubted his boss would give him a raise out of the goodness of his own heart.

Most flats, even those half the size of Sirius', which only had one room, a kitchen and a bathroom the size of a matchbox, were completely out of the question for his limited budget. He refused his parents' offer of helping, and refused even more vehemently to take up James' offer to lend him the money he needed. He knew without doubt that this was a debt he would never be able to repay.

Finally, he managed to locate something while scanning the ads in the _Daily Prophet_. An old lady whose husband had been a Ministry official was left with a big house after her husband died and her children left to build their own homes. Instead of renting or selling it whole, she decided to rent rooms. It was a relatively respectful place, and for the rent he paid, Remus got a room of his own (a little bigger than a matchbox, with the bed, the dresser and his trunk full of books being a very tight fit), one daily use of the shower (mostly cold water if you were not the first to use it), and free use of the lodgers' kitchen (you had to bring your own groceries). For a few extra Sickles he could get a hot dinner on Sundays. At least Mrs. Lark did not question his absence from the lodge once a month. He just had to tell her that he was spending the night at his parents' and that would do for her. She accepted that he was a sickly young man, and did not question those periods in which he looked to be ill.

It was not much, and he swore to never show his parents where he lived, but it had to do.

Of course, keeping his parents away was much easier than keeping his friends _out_.

He came back late from work to find Mrs. Lark in a right state. She was in her dressing gown, her hair in a net, and, as it turned out, was waiting for him. She had her wand in hand.

"Evening, Mrs. Lark," he said, trying his luck, hoping against all hope that what he feared had not come to pass. He really _liked_ living on his own.

"Mr. Lupin," she replied frostily.

"Is... everything all right, Mrs. Lark?"

She glared at him for a moment before bursting. "No! Everything is _not_ all right! Did you think you could hide it? From _me_?"

He shrank from her. So she finally found out that her newest lodger was not-

"I, who have raised three boys?!"

-quite-

"I, who have seen any sort of mischief known to wizardkind?!"

-human? His brain stopped running in frantic circles, confused. He stared at his landlady for a moment before letting out a not particularly articulate, "Huh?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Did you think that I won't notice you bringing in company in all hours of the night?" she asked. "I've been hearing noises coming from your room!"

"Err... _What_?!" he finally managed. "Mrs. Lark, I honestly don't know what you're talking about. I haven't given this address to... to... to..." Something in the back of his mind groaned. Loudly.

"To...?" she eyed him suspiciously, expecting the rest of his sentence.

"I can't _believe_ them," he said aloud. "I'm sorry Mrs. Lark. I didn't think they'd stoop so low as to follow me here."

"Are you in _trouble_, young man?" she asked. "Because if you are-"

"No, no!" he hurriedly headed her off. "They're my friends. I didn't tell them where I was staying, so, naturally, they tried to find out for themselves. I can't believe they did it, but I also can't believe I didn't see it coming. I'm sorry, Mrs. Lark. I'll make sure they get out - the normal way."

"You make sure you do!" she huffed, before heading back to bed.

Muttering darkly to himself about inconsiderate, spying friends, Remus made his way up the stairs and towards his room. Sure enough, he only got as far as the bathroom door before Sirius' singing - off-key - caught his ears. Admittedly, his hearing was much better than Mrs. Lark's, but he was certain that even a deaf man could hear Sirius' performance. And there was no doubt that it was Sirius, for only he could butcher one innocent melody so badly.

Ready to burst, he unlocked his door. He did not consider for a second that it would be unlocked already. There was very handy ivy hanging over the house's wall, which surely had given the Marauders such a wonderful opportunity to practice their climbing skills. Once the door was open, he was - unfortunately - proven right.

In his room, sprawled on the bed, the floor and on the single chair, were his three friends. Sirius was roaring drunk, Peter was just drunk, and James... James was just grinning at him foolishly, obviously still sober, for _someone_ had to direct the entire operation.

"'lo, Moony!" Sirius shouted. "Thought we'd do a bit of housewarming for you!"

"Yes, but could you please keep it down?" Remus replied urgently. Sirius just laughed at him and rolled on his back, half his body hanging off the bed. He turned to James with his eyes narrowed. "Can't you do anything about him? _Why_ did you bring them here in this condition? And while we're at it - how did you know where _here_ was?"

James shrugged. "Wasn't all _that_ hard, mate," he said, obliging Remus and casting a silencing spell over his now-giggling friend. "How many places are there around that rent rooms to people with your budget? You refused my help and your parents' help, and I know how much - or rather, how _little_ - you earn. It was a simple process of deduction-"

"_And_ following you around for a couple of days-" the mildly dazed Peter added unhelpfully.

"-and that," James consented. "Padfoot had a few days off and he was bored, so he followed you around yesterday - probably because Keira told him to go amuse himself for a day since he's a big boy now and all."

"She wouldn't snog him," Peter stage-whispered.

Here both James and Sirius glared at Peter, making Remus roll his eyes in exasperation. "When will the three of you grow up?" he asked the room in general. "Seriously, though. What are you doing here at-" he glanced at his wristwatch, "-ten past midnight?"

At this Sirius detached his face from the covers on Remus' bed and began mumbling something against James' spell. Sighing, said young man removed it.

"What was it, Padfoot?" Remus asked tiredly, wanting to get it over as soon as possible. Not that he didn't appreciate his friends coming to visit him and taking all the trouble to find out where exactly he was staying, but did it have to be so damn _late_?

"We were out drinking-"

"_Obviously_-"

"-an' Prongs tol' us somethin', an' Wormy an' me thought you needed t'know as well!" Sirius finished brightly.

"And so you climbed up my landlady's _spiked_ fence, managed to avoid her dogs - dear Merlin. I haven't heard the dogs when I came in - _what did you do to those poor animals?!_"

"Nothing bad," Sirius said with an all-too-canine grin for Remus' comfort. It was more an exposing of teeth than an actual smile. "Just gave them a taste of Padfoot's teeth, is all."

_I bet it was,_ Remus thought, knowing beyond all doubt that Sirius had made sure not one of the dogs would _ever_ think of attacking a fellow dog ever again. Shaking his head, he continued. "So you passed the dogs, climbed the ivy and ended up here? Prongs - how on earth did you let two inebriated men convince you that this was a good idea in any sense? What was so important that you let them _do_ that?"

"It's not all that important, really," James said sheepishly. "But you know how Padfoot gets when he drinks too much and gets his mind stuck on something he wants. I thought it safer to take him here than to let him down."

There was a twisted logic to what James said, no matter how loath Remus was to admit it. He sighed for what seemed like the tenth time since he arrived home, and for what must have been the ten thousandth time since he had met James and Sirius. "Well?" he asked. "What is it, then?"

"Lily and I are going on a trip in two days," James replied, grinning. "I get a couple of days off work because of the Healers' Conference - they don't want us trainees hanging under their feet while they show off - and Lily can take days off whenever she wants, so we've decided to go up to Yorkshire and go camping."

"So _that_'s what they call it these days, eh?" Sirius said with a wink.

This time, Remus was quicker than James and before his messy-haired friend could so much as raise his wand to silence Sirius, he elbowed their errant friend hard in the ribs, making him roll off the bed. "Mind out of the gutter, Padfoot," he said, glaring at the young man now sprawled on the floor beside Peter. "You should consider yourself lucky that I haven't thrown you out the moment I got here like I told Mrs. Lark I'd do."

"Fine, fine," Sirius grumbled, rolling on his back and staring at the ceiling. He was starting to sound more sober. "They're going on a trip in order to explore their _romance_ and one another. There's a lot of exploring to be done in dark, small tents," he added slyly.

Or perhaps, Remus though, it was only his speech that was getting better.

Somehow, after much prodding and sighing, he managed to get them out - through the door, as was good and proper.

There was no sign of the dogs.

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Lily and James went on their trip two days later. From what they told their friend and families, they were taking a Muggle tent and couple of sleeping bags ("Likely they'll only use the one," Sirius had leered) as well as supplies and going up to the Yorkshire Wolds, where they intended to camp out for all their stay. When asked why they chose that particular place, James smiled and said, "There are so many hidden little valleys there. Why should we let such a thing go to waste?"

They left early in the morning, promising to contact the family when they got there and when they left.

"I still don't understand why we had to go by car," James complained after two hours. "It only makes things take more time."

"Oh, stop complaining, James," Lily said, shaking her head as she kept her eyes on the road. "I'm already cheating as it is. We would have been much more south had I not. We're going more quickly than a normal car would, you know. What the matter? Afraid I'll be too _tired_?"

He smirked at her. "You read my mind."

She snorted.

It was early afternoon by the time they reached their destination and parked Lily's car next to a small farmhouse. The weather was lovely that day and they still had quite a lot of time before they had to set up camp.

"We could take a little stroll around, look for a good place to build the tent," James suggested. "I thought I saw a nice place just before we stopped - south of the farm."

Happily, they walked around, hand-in-hand, with James stealing kisses every now and then from a laughing Lily. When the sun began to sink, casting red light all around, they finally found the perfect place. It was a small, almost unnoticed vale, hidden from view, and clean of animal waste, unlike the others around it. Having found it, they began making their way back to the car, ready to build the tent, cook dinner (Lily had brought everything you could possibly want in order to cook over a campfire), and do a bit of constructive snogging.

But James and Lily's trip was doomed to be cut short. They were a short distance away from the farmhouse when the sounds of a dozen Apparitions were heard. The couple only had to take one glance at the black-robed figures that appeared all around the house to realize that this was not good. They immediately dropped to the ground, taking shelter behind a raspberry hedge.

"Death Eaters," James needlessly whispered, swallowing hard. "What are they doing here?"

"Muggle-torture," Lily replied weakly. "I heard about it, but... I didn't want to believe it's true."

But it had to be true, since this was a completely Muggle farm, and seconds after the Death Eaters had Apparated they could clearly hear shouts and then screams. Neither of them had ever heard such horrible sounds in their lives. They both knew, from their NEWT level Defence Against the Dark Arts, of the entire range of Dark curses that composed the Death Eaters' arsenal. They did not have to imagine in order to guess what was causing the Muggles within to emit such horrible sounds.

It was when a particularly terrible shriek of a young child reached their ears that Lily broke. With tears running down her cheeks, she said, "We have to help them. We can't leave them like this."

"We need to call the Aurors," James agreed, preparing to Apparate.

"By the time we get to the Auror Headquarters they'll be dead - or worse. We have to help them _now_!"

"I'm a Healer, Lily, not a fighter," he said quietly. "And you're the apprentice of an apothecary. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"We both know that you have more of a fighter in you than a Healer, James," she said softly. "You took the job only for the sake of Kelly's memory and the noble idea of being there for your family once you have one. And I have studied Defence Against the Dark Arts just as much as you did. They are all innocent, simple people here. They won't be able to survive this without help."

For a moment the couple was silent, neither ready to express what they knew to be true. They both knew that the decision they _had_ to take might ultimately bring about their deaths. It still had to be said.

"James?"

He reluctantly looked at her, knowing that she was right and that his conscience would not allow him to do as he had said.

"James, we can't let them die."

"I know."

Looks were exchanged. The young couple did not need anything else. Taking deep breaths, side by side, wands drawn, they jumped into the fray. The scene inside the house was terrifying, but they had to ignore it. They had a purpose. They could not allow themselves to get distracted.

They had never really worked together before. Not physically, anyway. They had never had the benefit of practicing together and knowing how to work together on the field. They were a couple, not Auror partners. What they _had_ was the knowledge of each other's weaknesses and strengths, gained from years of watching one another as rivals. James knew that Lily's shields were weaker than he would have liked, and Lily knew that her knowledge of damaging Charms was far wider than James', who mainly concentrated on prank-related ones back at school.

They did not work seamlessly, but they were good enough, protecting one another and using their strengths to cover the other's weaknesses. Soon the fight was taken back outside, away from the Muggle family within.

The Death Eaters were taken by surprise. They had no way of knowing that a witch and a wizard would choose that day to take a trip to the countryside, and so did not expect to be attacked from behind. Lily and James managed to hit five of them before the rest started fighting back. They could not tell whether those down were dead or merely injured. There was no time to check. No time to see who they were behind the masks. They could still hear screams coming from the farmhouse, despite the fact that all the Death Eaters were now outside, battling against them. It most likely meant, James knew all too well, that they were too late and that the Muggles were already doomed. They still had to try.

They were battling. Battling for their lives. Battling for the lives of others. They could not tell what was going on around them aside of the surrounding Death Eaters. Fighting back to back, they kept turning and launching their spells in every direction.

Despite the noise, the screams and the sounds of spells ripping trees and blasting fences, James heard much more distinctive noises not long into the battle. People were Apparating around them, and they had no idea whether they were Aurors, coming to their help, or Death Eaters, plotting their demise. There was no time to check. Any moment of delay could cause their almost inevitable death.

Then James saw _him_, and the answer became terrifyingly clear. Gripping Lily by the arm, he said, "Lily, get behind me."

"You have got to be _joking_!"

"Lily, this is not a game! This is _Voldemort_ who is coming our way!"

There was not doubt as to the identity of the most evil person the wizarding world has known since Grindelwald. The red eyes were described by everyone who had ever laid eyes on him. Tall, snake-like and utterly wicked, Lord Voldemort was making his way towards them, and James knew that he would most likely not last for long.

He had to get Lily out of there, even at the cost of his own life.

"Quickly!" he told her urgently. "Into the woods. That's our only chance. We have his attention. He'll leave those others alone. We've challenged him. He can't back out."

Casting the strongest shield he could, the couple ran to the trees on the border of the forest, James running backwards so he could keep the shield in place. He could feel it weakening under the onslaught of spells. In front of him, the dark shape of Voldemort drew nearer, with his minions flanking him.

The moment they were in the tree cover, James removed the shield. They moved as quickly and as silently as possible deeper into the forest. Behind them, Voldemort was talking.

"Come now, my little ones," he said in his hissing voice. "You know you have nowhere to hide. It would only take a moment of my time and then I can go back to finish the work in the house." And then, to his Death Eaters, he said, "Catch them alive. I want to know who they are. If they are Dumbledore's people, they may have information I could use."

"I know who they are," a sleek voice came from under one of the Death Eaters' hood and mask. "James Potter and Lily Evans. Quite the fiery couple. We would do well to finish them off, Master."

"_I_ will decide that, Lucius," Voldemort hissed. "_Never_ tell me what I should or should not do again. _Crucio!_"

"Lily," James whispered under the cover of the Death Eater's screams, his voice hoarse from shouting curses and hexes at their enemies," I'm going to do something to distract him - hopefully long enough for you to hit him with a curse so we can escape. Do not be surprised at whatever I do - we cannot afford it. Once his attention is on me, launch a curse. I don't care what it is - you can use Jelly Legs for all I care. Just keep him out of action long enough for us to get away. Do you understand?"

She nodded at him, her eyes wide and staring and her face stained with dirt and tears. Taking that for a yes, he slithered, as quietly as possible, away from her, flanking Voldemort and his cohorts who were slowly searching around trees and behind bushes, blasting them away, for the two who had tried to thwart their killing spree.

Once he deemed himself far enough from Lily's hiding place, he transformed.

Everything was so much clearer as Prongs. The forest was suddenly not a foreign, frightening place where he could not understand where he was going or how he could possibly survive. This was his domain. This was the _stag's_ domain. Here he knew what he was doing, because this was his kingdom. His, not the Death Eaters'.

It was time to show Voldemort that he was not invincible. It was time to make sure Lily was safe.

Voldemort did not expect an animal to attack him, even in a forest, and so he was taken by surprise when the huge stag took him from behind, giving Lily just enough time to send her hex flying at him. The stag butted him in the back, scattering all of Voldmort's Death Eaters as it wildly charged at their leader, its hooves not distinguishing between rotten undergrowth and men.

As Voldemort, the invincible Dark Lord, tottered, trying to regain his balance before the maddened animal would charge back, he was hit by an Entrail-Expelling Curse.

Hoping that Lily had had enough sense to start running immediately, he butted his enemy one last time before tearing out into the woods in the direction Lily was. They had to escape.

Hampered by the thick undergrowth, Prongs could not run at full speed. He could clearly hear the Death Eaters coming after him, and had to zigzag madly between the trees in order to avoid being hit by the various spells they shot after him, particularly the Avada Kedavra. Several minor spells managed to hit him, leaving streaks of blood on his glistening coat. But he was still alive and still moving.

He could see Lily, ducking behind a bush only a few feet ahead. He allowed himself to feel triumphant.

That was when a curse hit him, tearing something in the region of Prongs' neck. He could feel warm blood pouring down his front and his legs, he felt himself topple. And then he knew no more.

**Like the part with Prongs? I thought it would explain why Bellatrix was so damn jittery because of a tiny little fox in Book Six :) Okay, so I left you with a kind of a cliffie, which is rather nasty of me after months of not updating, but had the chapter continued, it would have been waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long...**

**Next chapter: What will happen to James and Lily? Will Voldemort get them? What is Mad-Eye Moody **_**thinking**_**? And the Order of the Phoenix appears...**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	37. Order of the Phoenix

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Woo-hoo! What do you know? Took me less than two weeks to update! I think I deserve a reward! ((goes off in search of chocolate))

First of all, I'd like to tell you how much the reviews I received for the last update lifted my mood. I didn't have the best of weeks, and every review posted made me smile, if not laugh. Thank you.

Now, I considered the idea of changing what was left from the story in order to make it more canon, but realised it was rather impossible without ruining so many of the scenes I've already written. And so, due to that and all the reviewers who told me I should keep it the way it is, expect a little more of AUishness in chapters to follow. If you don't like the idea, I'm sorry, but that's my final decision.

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirty Seven - Order of the Phoenix**

Lily could barely contain her fear as she watched the curse hit the magnificent creature that was her boyfriend in his Animagus form. The stag stopped its run, blood bursting in a bright shower out of its majestic, powerful neck, and slowly, almost as though time refused to move in its usual speed, it began to sag and then dropped to one side, blood continuously pouring out of his wound.

The sounds of Death Eaters crashing through the undergrowth, looking for the animal that had attacked their Lord, were coming inexorably closer. Voldemort's screams and curses could still be heard. Any moment now, he would manage to perform the counter-curse, and then he would be after them with a vengeance. Fear and panic making her act without stopping to think, Lily bolted out of her hiding place in the bushes, directly to the fallen animal's side.

"James!" she shouted desperately and clutched at the heavily-bleeding stag, closing her eyes and concentrating, trying to ignore the shouts of the Death Eaters coming closer. It was the first time she ever attempted side-along Apparition. She never imagined the first time she would do it would be with an animal that weighted more than twice her own weight.

She did not think she would succeed.

Her eyes were closed. She could _still_ hear the Death Eaters crashing through the forest and Voldemort's distant cries of outrage and humiliation. She could feel warm blood dripping into her lap from the stag's open wounds and the sting in her legs from the thorns digging into her flesh.

And then there was silence. Cool, wonderful silence.

Lily opened her eyes. They were at Sirius' empty flat, in his bright, colourful kitchen. When she looked back down, she saw that James was back to his human form, his wounds still bleeding. He was pale and his eyes were closed. Panicking, she put her hand to his pulse point. The heartbeat was faint, but it was there.

She tore a strip of cloth from the bottom of her shirt and tried to bind the wound that now, in his human shape, was right on the joining point of his shoulder and neck, as best she could. Then, scurrying to the kitchen table where James always spread his entire library of Healing books, she looked for the most basic charm for stopping bleeding and pain. It took her almost ten minutes of alarmed flipping through pages before she found the right charm. It would have to do until she could get him to St Mungo's.

Once the charm was in place, she enervated him. She had to know where his emergency Portkey to the hospital was. These days, every Healer of the St Mungo's staff was required to have one with them at all times, but it was a new regulation, and she knew James tended to forget taking it along.

The moment his eyes opened she asked, "Where's your Portkey, James?"

He blinked, taking a moment to process her words through his weakness and pain, and then answered haltingly. "Sirius' room. Dresser. Blue frog." It seems that despite the pain-elevating spell she had used, he was still in great pain.

She started to move away from him, but his hand suddenly gripped her arm, stopping her.

"I have to get you to the hospital, James!" she said frantically. "I don't know how long you have!"

"I'm sorry I never told you, Lily," he said quietly, tears in his eyes, not listening to her. Her eyes wandered, unbidden, to the pooling blood on the floor beneath him.

"It's okay, love," she said softly, reaching down with her hand to smooth back his unruly locks. She had to convince him to let go, but she had no doubt what he was talking about or why it was important for him to say it at that precise moment. "Keira and I have known about it since the middle of seventh year. We know why you did it, we know it was all for a good cause. You would never go to Azkaban for it, if I can do anything about it. No one will ever know."

He looked up at her in wonder. His grip on her arm relaxed momentarily, and she used that moment to run to Sirius' room and bring the small porcelain blue frog that would bring her and James to St Mungo's.

When she returned to the kitchen, James was once again unconscious. As she touched his hand to the Portkey and held his body tight to hers, she hoped it was not too late.

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Remus arrived at St Mungo's the minute he heard about what had happened. The WWN news talked about nothing but the pair of saviours that had arrived on the scene just on the nick of time, making Voldemort and his Death Eaters give chase and dealing them a humiliating blow, giving the Muggles still alive time to escape. The fuzzy descriptions coming from those who were saved before they were Obliviated gave him enough information to suspect that they were talking about Lily and James, who were supposed to be at the vicinity of the attack that day.

Apparently, he was not the only one to suspect so. He arrived at the St Mungo's lobby only seconds after Sirius did. James' parents were already harassing the welcome witch in an attempt to get some information out of her. Peter Apparated in about two minutes later.

"Just tell me if my son's here!" Gavin Potter roared into the face of the poor witch who was being shouted at from three different directions.

"He's here, Gavin," a soft voice suddenly interrupted the onslaught.

All five turned sharply to see Lily. She was wearing torn, blood-streaked clothes, and her face was unusually pale, but she seemed to be all right. Her eyes were bloodshot and there was a bandage on her right arm. She looked exhausted. Remus could not remember the last time he had seen his redheaded friend looking so defeated.

"Lily!" Laura Potter cried, gathering the young woman into her arms. "Are you all right? Were you hurt? Is James-"

"I'm fine, Laura. Really, I am. It's just a cut I got when I ran away after James distracted him. As for James... he'll be fine. That's what the Healers say, anyway." There was a note of slight disbelief in her voice. Remus guessed the Healers did not tell her anything except for that.

"Can we go see him?" James' mother asked, tears in her eyes. Remus had no doubt that she also heard that emotion in Lily's voice.

Lily shook her head, sadly. Tears glistened in her eyes. "They wouldn't let me see him. They've been there with him for the past four hours - Laura, I don't know if he's going to be all right!" And then she burst into tears, throwing herself into the older woman's arms. Laura looked as though she wanted to start crying as well, but held herself in check, trying to comfort the broken girl in her arms. She looked helplessly over Lily's shoulder at the four men standing there. They all felt the same as she, not knowing what to do.

After Lily finally calmed down, she led them to the corridor outside the room where the Healers were taking care of James. There were no chairs and so Remus, as the only one who managed to keep his wits in this time of crisis, conjured a few. Lily remained by Laura, leaning on her for support. The older woman smoothed Lily's hair gently, also drawing comfort from the girl's presence. Gavin sat on his own, his eyes staring at the door, waiting for the second it would open. Peter sat there with his head in his hands, not talking to anyone, and Sirius paced relentlessly.

It seemed like forever, with the minutes ticking by, excruciatingly slow. Remus sat there, his eyes glancing from the door, to his companions and back to the door again. He had no watch and therefore had no way of knowing for how long he was sitting there before the door finally opened to reveal a tall man with his lime green robes splattered with crimson blood. Remus stared at those patches of colour in fascinated horror. It looked like a great amount of blood to him. Was all this James'? He was starting to feel a little faint.

"Are you James' family?" the man said. Having received affirmative nods, he continued. "I'd like to tell you that he is going to be fine, but we would like to keep him here for a couple of days in order to make sure he is healing properly. He has lost a lot of blood, and it was a tricky wound to heal without making it any worse. He should be back on his feet by tomorrow, but he knows he needs to stay."

"Can we see him now?" Sirius said impatiently.

The man looked at them before saying, "Yes, but only for a short while."

James was lying on the bed, looking terribly pale and weak against the white sheets. The blanket covering him was pulled back to his waist so it would not irritate his wounds. He was bandaged from neck to mid-chest, and his arm was in a sling - broken, or perhaps merely sprained.

"Hello..." he slurred, his mind probably fogged by countless pain-numbing potions. "Wha's with'a lon' faces?" he managed.

"How are you feeling, dear?" Laura asked gently, but was pushed aside almost immediately by a once again crying Lily, who ran to his bedside and buried her face in the crook of his good arm.

"I thought you were going to die," she sniffed. "I thought I'd lost you."

"'m a hard'n t'kill," he said in true James fashion and unsteadily kissed the top of her head.

James spent the next two days in that bed, and though the Healer who had taken care of him said he knows he must stay there, he had started complaining on the very morning after he had been brought there. On the first afternoon there, he already started plotting ways of how to get out of bed and up to the tearoom on the top floor. Only the fact that his friends and family kept a close watch on him stopped him from doing so.

But that was not the end of James' adventures for that week.

After he was completely healed and discharged from the hospital, he came back to work. As a beginner, he was assigned to Artefact Accidents on the ground floor. Every time Remus came by Sirius' flat for a visit, James was up to his eyebrows in books about various broomstick injuries (some of which were really heinous), old hospital reports about exploding cauldrons and wand backfirings, as well as biting teacups and some weird papers about shrinking keys getting stuck in various unpleasant places. Once - only once - Remus attempted to go through one of the reports. The one he read made his stomach heave.

And then, on a dark morning in mid-December, shortly before Christmas, Remus came by the hospital for a fairly complex potion that his mother ordered for his father. It was supposed to work for Muggles as well. William Lupin was terribly sick with the flu, and Saffron worried that it might develop into pneumonia. Though the potions the hospital's apothecary were considerably more costly than those sold by the private ones, you could be assured that they would be of the highest quality.

On his way down to the lobby, he decided to pay James a visit. Stopping a random Healer on the ground floor, he asked where he could find his friend, and was directed to the staff room on that floor.

The ground floor's staff room was large. More Healers were needed there since the most common afflictions were treated there. It was painted pale green and there were many padded chairs and sofas there. There was a small kitchen and even what Remus recognized as a Muggle television. He expected James to be eating something or idly watching the Muggle contraption. He did not expect him to sit alone on one corner, with his face in his hands.

A few sheets of parchment were placed on the seat by his side. They appeared to have been crushed and then smoothed straight again.

Remus sat down by his friend. "James?"

"You know who Mad-Eye Moody is, Moony?" James asked, lifting his face to look at him.

"He's the Head Auror, isn't he?" Remus replied, thinking hard. "There's been quite a bit about him in the papers these past few years - and I think Sirius mentioned him a couple of times. A bit of a maniac, from what I understand - but an honourable maniac. Won't use the Unforgivables despite Crouch having authorized it a couple of months back. What's he got to do with anything?"

"He approached me today at the hospital. They brought a badly injured Auror in, and since the Healer-in-charge wasn't there, I took on the job. After we managed to stabilize him, Moody came by and said he wanted to have a word."

James fell silent again, looking down at his hands.

"And?" Remus prodded, now curious.

"He offered me a job," his friend finally said. "As a field mediwizard. I told him I was training to be a real Healer, and he said that having seen the results of my fighting skills back when Lily and I stood against Voldemort; it will be a waste for me to continue my conventional Healing studies. So he offered a deal."

This time when James stopped talking, Remus did not speak. He froze in his seat, already knowing what deal Moody most likely had offered his friend. James had a very developed sense of responsibility, and this way he could combine both his chosen occupation and honour his dead cousin, and his wish he could be on the field with Sirius and Keira, and fight.

James continued. "He said I could continue my Healing studies - he had already discussed this with my boss - but I would do so on the afternoons. In the mornings I would train in the Auror Academy and after a while I would need to go into the field. It will be a very tense work, not a lot of free time, but then I would be able to do what I always wanted to do. Do you think I did wrong by accepting the offer?"

"Me?" Remus asked, picking up the crumpled parchments and perceiving them to be a signed contract between James and Moody. "I don't see anything wrong in this - except for the possible deterioration of your sanity - but I'm not the one whose blessing you need. Have you discussed it with Lily at all?"

James shrugged helplessly. "Not yet. She's... Well, I don't know how well she'll take it. We've already been in danger without me even getting _near_ being an Auror. What will happen if I happen to go on the field and get killed?"

"It's _your_ decision to make, Prongs. None of us can help you here. When are you starting?"

"Sometime in the beginning of January," James said, once again with his face in his hands. "Argh! Whatever possessed me to say _yes_?!"

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Remus spent that year's Christmas at home. Though James' parents invited him and _his_ parents to join them all for the holiday, Saffron politely declined and said that they wanted to celebrate Remus' first Christmas out of Hogwarts with only the family around. That meant both sides of the family - Muggle and magic.

It was always a tense time when his Muggle relatives came by. His grandfather was no problem, nor was his aunt or her husband, but his cousins... Fiona and Alexander, the twins of mayhem, gave their parents enough trouble _without_ any magical devices around. They were seven and has known about the magical world ever sine they stumbled on Remus' album back when he was a third year. It took a lot of convincing to make them keep it a secret from everyone they knew.

Remus' father had little to do with his sister and her family. They rarely met each other - once a year at the most and usually at Saffron's insistence. It was not that his sister was prejudiced, but she just did not understand the world her brother had married into. The fact that she accepted the invitation to his house was rather a good sign. They had not come by to the Lupin house for more than four years. The fact that her children discovered about Saffron and Remus' talents made her quite wary.

All in all, though, Christmas dinner went on well, with Fiona and Alexander only blackmailing Remus into showing them magic tricks a couple of times.

Only when they left very late that night, their car leaving a trail of smoke behind, Remus allowed himself to relax. Really, he thought, children are such a hassle sometimes. He wondered how James, who talked about having a family often these days, could possibly want to be a father so early on in life.

All in all, Christmastime was very jolly indeed, but Remus was still relieved to find himself back in his little room in Mrs. Lark's house. He loved his parents dearly, but he knew all too well that he might let slip about his sleeping arrangements or about his job and then he would be in trouble with them for not telling in the first place. They had to realize that he was almost nineteen and that it was time to let him go down his own road.

Unfortunately, the optimistic mood Christmas had put him in faded shortly after New Year's Eve. He came to work as usual after the Holidays, only to find Mr. Allen standing on the shop's doorstep with his arms crossed and a grim, irritable expression on his face. Remus had a bad feeling about it. Mr. Allen _never_ opened the shop anymore.

"Err... Good morning, Mr. Allen," he greeted, attempting to smile.

"Don't you 'good morning' me, filth!" the man growled, which was when Remus noted that he had his wand in his hand.

He froze on the spot, shocked both from the obvious threat projected by his boss and from the use of that word. Mr. Allen was looking at him as though he was something vile on the bottom of his shoe. It did not take him long to come to a conclusion. He knew without doubt that the man came to realize what his employee was.

"Mr. Allen-" he started, only to be cut off by the livid man.

"Don't talk to me! Don't come here anymore! I will not have it known that I've employed a filthy _werewolf_ for the past three months! Get away! Never return!"

Appalled at this welcome, Remus did as told, numbly heading back to Mrs. Lark's. Mr. Allen still owed him his pay for the week before Christmas, but he knew that he would never get that pay, and that taking this to court would not help. Dark creatures such as him did not have rights.

Entering his room, half an hour later, he got the sudden urge to punch something. And so he did. The wall did not seem to mind, but the angry throbbing informed him that his hand did not appreciate it at all. Ignoring its insistent protest, he threw himself on the bed, shoes and all, and just lay there, staring at the ceiling. His first instinct, which he had to fight hard against, was to go and complain about the unfairness of it all to either his friends or his parents. But he knew better than that.

Sure, he could go and tell Sirius and James how much of a bastard Mr. Allen was and next thing you know - Mr. Allen's shop would be half-full of dungbombs and sprayed with the word _racist_ or something of the sort. And then people would begin to wonder what it was all about, and somehow someone would leak the word that that nice young man who used to work for Mr. Allen was actually a vicious werewolf once a month, and then Mrs. Lark would hear about it and then what will happen? He will have no job, no home and no prospects of a future job since absolutely _everyone_ will know about his being a werewolf. No. Talking to his friends would not be the best of ideas at the moment. He would simply have to look for a new job before anyone could notice, and for that, he had to play normal. He would go out with the Marauders that night like they had prearranged and he will say nothing about Mr. Allen and everything that transpired that morning.

And so early evening found him taking a shower and preparing for the evening. He walked the short distance from the bathroom to his room, only to stop at the door when he realized that someone else was inside. It took him a moment to recognize who it was, since the man was covered by a thick cloak and stood with his back to Remus, stooped. Only the mane of shoulder-length black hair identified the man as Sirius.

"Oh, hello, Padfoot," Remus said, rubbing his hair dry. "Wasn't expecting you here - I thought I'd come by your place."

Sirius nodded distractedly, looking at the collection of framed pictures sitting on Remus' dresser. "I was in the neighbourhood, thought it would be ridiculous for you to come over if I'm already around."

It was a flimsy excuse if ever Remus heard one - and being friends with Sirius and James he had heard a lot of those - but decided to let it pass. Something was obviously bothering his friend, but he had to give him time to let it out himself. Sirius was just like that. If prodded for information, he was more likely to keep his mouth shut than speak.

And so Remus continued dressing in silence. In the meantime, Sirius finished examining the pictures on the dresser and settled on Remus' single chair, staring out of the window. Whatever he was staring at was an absolute mystery as far as Remus was concerned, seeing as it was pitch black outside.

"What's going on in your head, Padfoot?" Remus finally asked once he could no longer do anything but speak. "You've been completely distracted ever since I entered. I thought we were going out with Prongs tonight?"

"James isn't coming," Sirius admitted softly. "He's exhausted."

The use of James' first name made Remus suspicious. "Oh?"

"Today was his first day at the Academy," Sirius explained. "Moody beat him into absolute _pulp_. I've never seen someone looking so happy at kicking someone else's arse. And when he was done, he offered James his hand, helped him up and said, 'that wasn't too bad for a Healer,' - a compliment! From _Moody_! Moony, the man went all out on Prongs - he only hit _us_ that bad after three _months_."

"And? Did he pass?"

Sirius waved his hand, dismissing the question. "First they had to heal his broken bones, but yes, essentially, he passed. I-" he faltered. "It's just that... This is what he was always _meant_ to do. Not be a Healer - he's a man of action, he always has to be at the center of things. He's getting wasted, putting all his time and energy in healing. Honestly, Moony, had he joined with Keira and me, he'd already be a trainee team leader. He has the flare and he has the talent. Everyone can see it. Everyone who had seen him today wondered what the hell he's been doing all this time."

Then he told Remus of how everyone reacted when James first entered the Academy that morning, still in his lime green robes. He had come straight from the night shift, and looked tired and slumped. All the trainees - except for Sirius and Keira who knew him - had laughed about Moody's new catch, saying that next time he will bring a bookshop clerk (Remus was a little affronted by that, but kept his mouth shut as Sirius was not finished telling the story).

James had not been eating well for a while and was not getting enough sleep, and it showed. He also had not been out in the sun for a while, and so, once he stripped out of his robes and dressed in the Aurors' practical training outfit, everyone had laughed about his pale skin and said he was probably as good as a little girl.

"He didn't give a good show against Moody," Sirius continued. "Not in comparison to what he could have done had he kept in shape and continued his athlete training, but by the time Moody was through with him-" and here there was a definite note of pride in Sirius' voice, "-they all shut up and stood with their mouths open. Prongs certainly showed him that he could get his arse kicked with the best of them!"

"Then... why are you so downcast?" Remus asked gently after a while when the silence had become oppressing.

Sirius stared in silence for a while before sighing. "He hasn't told Lily yet. He said he'd do it after Moody tells him if he's got the job or not. I think he's making a mistake - but, hey, I'm just his best friend, so why should he start listening to me now?"

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"I can't _believe _this! How could you do such a thing without bothering to _tell_ me?!"

The half-opened door to Padfoot's Doghouse let out the sounds of a terrible fight when Sirius and Remus were only halfway thought the steps between the third and fourth floor of Sirius' building. The two friends froze on the spot, exchanging worried glances.

"I guess this means James let the cat out of the bag?" Remus asked rhetorically. He and Sirius thought they should go and see how James was even if they were not going out that evening.

Sirius nodded. "I'm not too sure we should go up there at the moment. 'sides - we can hear them quite clearly from down here."

And indeed, they had no trouble hearing their two friends having their lovers' spat.

"I was going to tell you!"

"_When?_ When you would be brought home in a _coffin_? Or missing and arm and a leg? You said you didn't want to risk you life out there - that you wanted to _save_ lives!"

"I _will_ be saving lives - in the hospital and on the field! I'm not going to be a full-time Auror, Lily - I'm just going out there as a medic!"

"THEY HAVE MEDICS OF THEIR OWN!" Lily shrieked in a tone that neither Sirius nor Remus have heard since the start of seventh year. "WHAT DO THEY NEED _YOU_ FOR? FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, JAMES! YOU WERE NEARLY KILLED LESS THAN A MONTH AGO!"

"I know! I know. You think I didn't consider this? I wanted to be safe in order for you to be happy, but I've realized that I can do more and _still_ save lives as I intended. I can save even more lives now - by Healing and by fighting!"

"I don't care about that! You promised, James! You swore to me that this is what you truly wanted! I knew you wanted this more than anything and that's why I pressed you for the truth! You promised that this was _your_ decision! That it wasn't just because of _me_!"

Upstairs, the door to Sirius' flat banged completely open and the sound of feet hurrying down the steps was heard. Flattening themselves against the wall, Sirius and Remus allowed a crying, oblivious to their presence, Lily to pass them. Exchanging an even more worried glance than before, the two hurried upstairs, afraid of what they would find.

James was standing in the middle of the living space, his arms dangling on either side of him, his eyes staring at the floor. Upon hearing them entering, however, he lifted his head and gave them a sad look. "I suppose you heard that, have you?" He did not wait for them to answer before he sighed and sank unto the sofa, burying his face in his hands. "Go ahead, Padfoot. Tell me I'm an idiot."

"You're an idiot," Sirius said bluntly. "But I don't blame you for chickening out of this so many times. It doesn't matter, though. Lily knows better than you how important this is to you - hell, Moony and I were listening to what she was shouting on you. She most certainly wasn't angry about you risking your life without telling her. She was angry at you for lying about what truly mattered to _you_."

James looked up at his best friend, confusion clear on his face. "What do you mean?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I mean that she would have been happy for you had you not told her _months_ ago that Healing is what you truly wanted to do. Had you told her back in July that you still wanted to be an Auror but that you were taking on Healing because of your idea that this was a way of honouring Kelly, she would have understood. But you lied to her about that. You said Healing had become your dream, and since she _wanted_ to believe it, wanting you safe and away from the field, she believed you. You have to apologise, mate - and apologise soon, or she will never talk to you again."

Remus realized that 'never talk to you again' would probably mean for the next twenty four hours, but it was apparent that James took Sirius' words seriously. He stared at the other young man for a few seconds before shooting out of his chair and out of the flat, faster than lightening.

"I do believe that despite his exhaustion he'll catch up with her," Sirius said, smirking, as he closed the door to the flat.

"And _I_ believe that we are still not going out tonight in the end," Remus added thoughtfully.

They spent the evening lounging in the living space over a bottle of Ogden's Best Firewhiskey, making bets over what was going on with Lily and James. They were nearly ready for bed when the door opened and James entered, his hair all over the place - worse than usual - and his glasses sitting crookedly on his nose.

"I see you're still up," he said, smiling foolishly at them and then yawned. "Going to stay up long? I think I'm ready for bed, myself. You were right, Padfoot. I caught up with her, and we talked - for a long time - and I think we're okay now. I think she understands. G'night..." And then he walked off to Sirius' room, where his bed was.

"I'd say they did a little more than just talking," Sirius smirked.

"How'd you reckon?" Remus asked.

"He had lipstick marks on his neck," Sirius replied smoothly. "Not to mention that his shirt was buttoned on wrong and his belt was mostly off. Trust me, Moony. When they invented the phrase, 'looks like he's been thoroughly shagged', they had Prongs in mind."

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Though Lily was still a little angry with him, James knew that the problem was mostly resolved. He explained his motives, and she explained what bothered her so much. Frighteningly enough, what she said was too close to what Sirius said for comfort. He never pinned his best friend as very perceptive. Then again, Sirius _was_ the Marauders' expert on relationships and how to completely destroy them.

Lily was a little cold with him for a week or so, but once she came back, again pestering him to sleep and eat regularly, he knew that things were back to normal. And so it was one winter evening, shortly after Lily had arrived with a basket full of her mother's cooking, that they were both in Sirius' kitchen, by themselves. Sirius was off somewhere (_probably with Keira,_ James thought wryly) and neither Remus nor Peter were there that evening.

Lily started warming up the food with a few waves of her wand and James was studying, making good of what little time he had left before his girlfriend confiscated his books, when through the window came what was obviously a Hogwarts owl. Only those birds could convey so much haughtiness with only one look. It landed next to James, right on his meticulous notes, splattering them with water, and waited impatiently for the disgruntled young man to take away its burden.

Huffing to himself, James removed the letter attached to the bird's leg and quickly slit it open. "Dumbeldore asked to see us," he told Lily after a moment of reading in silence, handing her the parchment.

"Did he say why?" she asked, taking it from him. A quick scanning of the letter revealed the answer to be negative. "I wonder if something happened."

James shrugged. "If it had been just you, then I'd say Slughorn's finally retiring and Dumbledore wants you as his replacement, but seeing he asked me to be there as well..."

She shrugged. "He knows we're together. Maybe he wants you to be there when he tells me." But it did not seem likely to either of them. Lily was much too young and inexperienced to get a teaching post at Hogwarts. And the fact that James was asked to come as well...

The next day, taking into account the fact that they would have to walk all the way to the castle, the young couple Apparated early in the morning and as close to Hogwarts as the wards would allow. For a while they stood outside the Hogwarts gates, staring at the winged boars atop their pillars, at the massive gates. It has been little over six months since they had last been there, thinking they would not return for years yet.

"Well?" James said. "Think we would have trouble getting in?"

"Probably not," she answered. "Dumbledore knows we're coming. He'll make sure the wards let us in. Anyway, there's only one way to find out, no?"

Together, they walked towards the gates. With a loud creaking sound, the iron contraption began opening in front of them, and they walked through, beginning their long walk to Hogwarts.

It was some time later when they finally arrived at the castle. From the distance, they could see a group of students cluster near the edge of the Forbidden Forest, most likely studying Care of Magical Creatures. The castle's halls were nearly empty, most students in their classes. Walking down those familiar halls should have been more enjoyable for the two, but knowing they were there on a most important errand made it a little worrying.

They met no one of their acquaintance on their way to Dumbledore's office, not even the teachers, or even Filch. Neither of them ever realized how strange the castle was during classes when there was no one around.

Professor McGonagall was waiting for them in front of the entrance to Dumbledore's office.

"Potter, Miss Evans," she said, a sudden, surprising smile on her lips. "It's been a while."

"That it has, Professor," James said with an intricate bow. "Has anyone stepped into our shoes in the last few months?"

There was no need for McGonagall to ask what 'our shoes' meant. She gave him a wry smile before replying. "There are those attempting to fill your shoes, yes, but none of them quite manages it. They seem to be too big."

"Naturally," James smirked. "Is the Headmaster free to see us now?"

"Certainly," McGonagall said and then gave the password, "Acid Pops!"

"Does he actually _like_ those?" Lily whispered to James as they went up the stairs.

He shrugged. "It's Dumbledore, Lily. We may never know."

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Their old Headmaster was exceptionally somber as he greeted them and asked them to take a seat in front of his desk. For a while he watched them, his chin resting on one hand. To James it seemed like it was going on forever before the Headmaster started speaking.

"A couple of years back," he began without preamble, "when it became obvious even to the Ministry that Voldemort was fast becoming a real threat, Alastor Moody came by Hogwarts to see me. He said that the people high up in the Ministry refuse to take actual action against Voldemort and his Death Eaters and that the Aurors were virtually powerless to stop them. He asked if I have an idea, a way to somehow put a stop to it."

"Why did he come to you?" Lily asked softly.

"Because of my fight against Grindelwald all those years ago," Dumbledore simply said. "He assumed - correctly - that I would not want another of his sort running around causing death and mayhem. I tried talking to Minister Bagnold, but she refused to see reason. She said the Aurors were not equipped to go directly against Voldemort. And so I realized that something had to be done. For that purpose, I formed a group that would fight Voldemort and his people on its own terms. It is comprised from volunteers only - and only those people I deem worthy to join. They are committed to the purpose of eliminating the threat posed by the worst Dark Lord the Wizarding World _ever_ had to contend with. My question to you is: will you join?

"I cannot guarantee that you will come out of this war - and mistake me not, this _is_ a war - alive, and I cannot guarantee that you will return unharmed. It is the risk we all have to take in these dark times. Whether you join or not is a decision only you can make.

"I'm sure you wonder why I am asking you - two people, barely out of adolescence, who have only finished school six months ago - to join on this. The truth is I have never encountered two people more committed to what is right and good, or ones who have so much talent and strength. I've known and watched the two of you for seven years, and, in my opinion, you are perfectly fitted for this. I will not force your hand on this. What I ask of you will demand a great sacrifice and not many out there wish to sacrifice so much for the safety of strangers.

"But it is time to decide, James, Lily," Dumbledore said softly. "Are you prepared to take an active part in this war, or are you content in staying at the sidelines?"

The young couple shared one, long look. Green met hazel. All they needed to know was passed in that single meeting of eyes. Turning to look at their old Headmaster again, they nodded in unison.

"We're in."

Dumbledore sighed in relief. "Then I welcome you to Order of the Phoenix."

**Chapter came out a bit shorter than I had originally planned, but I've decided to put the last scene that was originally part of this chapter in the next. It seemed as though it would flow more smoothly that way. I hope that you've enjoyed this little twist in the story, and I hope this answers the question to the reviewer who oh-so-long-ago said that it didn't seem likely that Voldemort would go after a Healer and an apprentice apothecary :) **

**In the next chapter: Who are the people in the Order? What does the Order **_**do**_**? What is going on with Remus and finding a new job? And what on earth is James' gift? All that and more in the next chapter!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	38. James' Gift

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** So sorry for the long wait, everybody! I was sick for a week and still felt off for another, so writing wasn't exactly feasible during that time...

Anyhoo, we're getting on with the story, and I think that something we've all been waiting for arrives in this chapter :) Haven't got anything else to add, so...

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirty Eight - James' Gift**

Remus was incredibly late. It was quarter past nine, and he was supposed to be at the meeting place in another quarter of an hour. But what could he do? After finally finding a new job at Master Gilliam's carpentry workshop in a village just off Birmingham with a very small wizarding community in it, he could hardly leave early. Especially since he wanted to keep a low profile. It would not do to be recognized as a werewolf again so soon after what happened with Mr. Allen.

Hurriedly pulling on a jacket to cover his frayed shirt and brushing his once-again too long hair out of his eyes, he Apparated straight out of his room, knowing that Mrs. Lark would give him an earful for that when he came down the next morning.

He reappeared in a dingy alley somewhere in the maze that was the city of London, quickly glancing around him to make sure no one had seen him appear out of nowhere. His hand reached for his wand before he could stop it. He had to admit that he was just a tad too nervous.

When Dumbledore contacted him several days before, Remus was very much confused. It was not unheard of for witches and wizards who had finished at Hogwarts to come by visiting whenever in the vicinity of the school, but he simply could not think of a reason for Dumbledore to want to talk to him specifically.

When introduced with the bare facts of _why_ precisely Dumbledore invited him to the school, the first thought to cross his mind was that he was about to do something incredibly foolish - which was immediately followed by his own voice betraying him by saying, "yes," and proving that first thought right. He ended up walking back to Hogsmeade, ruefully wondering why he said yes and concluding that he was simply too helpful for his own good.

So that was the reason behind his skulking outside that building at half past nine on a Saturday evening, intently staring at a door that would soon lead him to a place from which there will be no going back. Dumbledore could sugar-coat it as much as he would like, but the heart of the matter was that once he would step into that house, Remus' life would _never_ be the same again. Sighing, he knocked.

The face that greeted him was only very vaguely familiar. The woman was a few years his senior, so he supposed that she had attended Hogwarts along the same time he did. She frowned at him for a moment, as though trying to remember something, and then nodded - to herself, it seemed - before opening the door wider and allowing him to enter. Only once he was inside and she locked the door behind him with a few complicated spells, she dropped her cautious mask.

"You'd be Lupin, am I right?" she asked in a heavy, unidentifiable accent. "I remember you running around Hogwarts, causing trouble. Come on. The rest of your lot's already there."

It took him a moment to realize what this might mean, before a wide smile stretched on his face. Dumbledore must have invited the other Marauders, too. That would make things so much easier for him.

"I'm Dorcas Meadows," the woman introduced herself as she led him down a dusty corridor and then up a rickety flight of stairs. "I was in Ravenclaw - three years ahead of you."

He nodded. "I thought you seemed familiar."

She laughed. "That's what your friends said as well. My, but you lads were a jolly lot."

They certainly had done their best, Remus mused as he followed her up the dark stairwell. It was somewhat... _gratifying_ to know that their efforts had not been in vain. Smiling to himself, he tried to remember what pranks they played in the first three years of their schooling.

Finally, Dorcas reached the end of the stairs and led him down yet another corridor before stopping next to an old-fashioned door and then touching her wand to the doorknob, muttering something under her breath before she actually took hold of it. The room beyond was dimly lit, its windows facing the street covered with black cloth. There were about twenty people there, all in all, most of them a few years his seniors, a few even older than that, and then, at the corner, were the other three Marauders and Lily, all looking excited to be there.

"Moony!" Sirius shouted for the entire room to hear, once again demonstrating his lack of thought process. "Over here!"

The people around them seemed to be extremely smart. Remus winced as he made his way towards his friends, wondering just how many of those surrounding deducted what he was.

"Ah, Remus!" Dumbledore's voice came from the opposite corner, where he was standing with a person who could be none but Alastor 'Mad Eye' Moody, the infamous Auror, and with another man who looked almost identical to Dumbledore, only a few years younger. "Good, good. Everyone's here. We can begin."

The entire room became silent. All eyes were on Hogwarts' Headmaster. His normally twinkling eyes were serious, his expression solemn. When he spoke, it was in a grave tone that brooked no interruption.

"For almost a decade now, the person styling himself Lord Voldemort has been terrorizing our world, killing, torturing, abducting and cursing. He has made the Unforgivables an everyday thing, turning people against their families. And all that for the purity of blood. For the belief that someone of Muggle descent, someone who had not known of the wizarding world since they could remember, someone who had not been weaned on magic, is not worth living in this world.

"I have vowed not to let such a person ever achieve full power over the wizarding world. Each of you has proven yourself to be dedicated to that selfsame cause. Whether it through your occupation, or through acts of heroism that were done without return. You have shown yourselves determined to create a free world for people you don't even know. Some of you had sheltered lives - others less so - but all of you are united by the fact that you refuse to see our world destroyed by one madman and his minions.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, from this day on, there are no secrets in this company. There are twenty two of us here, and we need to know one another as well as we know ourselves. You all know we will be putting our lives on the line, and we have to be able to trust one another completely. The missions you will be sent on will be dangerous. You have to be able to rely on whatever partner you are working with.

"I have brought you all here tonight so you could get to know one another. After this, the times when we will all be together in the same room would be scarce. We can't risk detection. We can't risk Voldemort taking all of us together.

"Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix."

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Mingling did not come easily to Remus. Especially not when every person in the room (apart of those who already knew, that is) came to ask him if it was true that he was a werewolf. He felt uncomfortable with the secret kept throughout his years at Hogwarts thrown to the open this way, but knew it to be necessary. Having been revealed to be a werewolf - a supposedly Dark creature - at this stage was necessary in order to make sure that everyone knew that despite everything, Dumbledore trusted him enough to accept him as a fighter for the side of Light.

To his surprise, no one seemed disgusted. There were a few guarded looks, but it appeared as though Dumbledore's word was enough for all those attending.

After speaking for a few moments with a woman named Emmeline Vance, who, though still in her twenties, already seemed to take herself seriously (he could already see the way she would look in twenty years, stately and impressive), he searched for his friends. Sirius was cheerfully telling Hagrid, who was the most easily located person in the room as per usual, all about his bike, Peter was cornered by a somber-faced looking wizard called Caradoc Dearborn, and James and Lily were on their own, drifting towards the only other couple there. He decided to catch up with them.

"This is Frank Longbottom," James introduced to Lily just as Remus approached them. "You may remember him from Hogwarts. He was a few years ahead of us. He and his wife - then girlfriend - Alice. He works with me at the Auror Academy - trying to make a decent fighter out of me."

"Hello," Frank Longbottom offered with a slight smile, also acknowledging Remus. "James really is a lucky man, I can see. He speaks of nothing but you half the time, and now I can see why."

Lily smiled, letting the comment about fighting pass. Remus suspected that she and James were going to have _words_ later. He wondered just how much she knew about James' training. He was quite certain that soon enough James would be out there on the field - saving lives with his healing skills, but also fighting. Lily was not going to like that.

About two hours after arriving at the place, the members of the Order of the Phoenix began filing out of the house. They came out every ten, twenty or thirty minutes, irregularly, so that no one could suspect that anything but an innocent party had taken place inside. Remus hoped it was enough as he nonchalantly stepped outside and began his walk to his Apparition point.

They would all be contacted soon. There were missions to execute, Death Eaters to eliminate, a war to be won. Dumbledore's words from their conversation a few days before echoed in his mind. This indeed was war. There were no battlefields and there was no honour, but war it was nonetheless.

He wondered how many of those who were in that room that night were going to see it through.

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There was fire everywhere. How could a simple mission go so horribly wrong?

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It has been over a month since they were all gathered in that dark room for the Order's first meeting. Lily had been on eight different missions so far, half of them with James, seeing as they worked so well together and Dumbledore knew that. There were various ones - saving Muggles, bringing intelligence on Voldemort's movements and those of the Death Eaters, bringing Death Eaters into custody and finding enough evidence on others in order to anonymously tip the Department of Magical Law Enforcement on their whereabouts.

This was to be one of those missions. She and James were lying in wait outside a country home in a village not far from Sheffield, watching a Ministry worker named Hawthorn, who, according to the evidence the Order had, was most likely a new recruit of Voldemort's. Having him on the Dark Lord's side would be a very bad thing for the side of Light, since he was a worker of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement itself. The Order had been keeping watch on him for almost a week, the members taking turns in stakeout.

They were expecting a boring, uneventful evening under the invisibility cloak. Hawthorn came home at precisely six thirty, like he always did, greeted his wife and kissed his children. They could both hear the sounds of dinner going on without a hitch, which made it even worse, seeing as they were both starving, having eaten only a light breakfast before setting out to work and having skipped lunch.

It was around eight, after Mrs. Hawthorn tucked the children in and came down to sit with her husband in the sitting room, that the first sign of something out of the ordinary came. Instead of sitting and talking about his day as he usually did, Hawthorn rose from his armchair and began restlessly pacing back and forth. Though it was hard to see, Lily thought he was also biting his fingernails - a sure sign of trouble. Mrs. Hawthorn looked to be asking what was wrong, which made the man shout at her for absolutely no reason. Having been on stakeout duty before, Lily and James shared an anxious glance. Hawthorn and his wife were an unusually affectionate couple, and this behaviour was nothing like the man - Death Eater or not.

"We'd better keep alert," James said softly by her side, just as his stomach grumbled, making him groan. "What?" he said, catching Lily's look. "I'm hungry!"

"No," she said, frowning, trying to listen. "That's not it. I thought I heard something." Just a fraction of a second between the point when James spoke and the point when his stomach made that unsavoury noise, she thought there was some other noise. Something... Something like a person Apparating!

"Someone's coming!" she hissed and they both ducked just as three robed figures appeared from around the bend, walking purposefully to the house. Both clutching their wands, they watched as one of the flanking figures kicked the door open.

"We need to get closer," James said, knowing that they would probably have to step in at some point. Death Eater or not, there were four innocents in Hawthorn's home. They could not let his wife and children be tortured.

Keeping themselves under James' invisibility cloak as best they could, the couple inched its way towards the house, stopping just short of the window. They could see and hear everything from there, to their horror.

"-think you can chicken out on our Lord in the middle of such an important mission?" a gruff voice was in the middle of demanding when they reached hearing range.

"Nott," James muttered, obviously recognizing the voice from previous missions.

"I wasn't going to-"

"Bring his children," the figure in the middle hissed softly. Lily did not recognize that voice, and apparently neither did James. It did not matter, however. The third Death Eater was going upstairs and soon Hawthorn's children would be tortured and killed in front of their mother's panic-filled eyes. Nott went on talking.

"The master allowed you into the innermost circle, Hawthorn," he growled at the frightened man. "He trusted you to fill his orders. You failed him. For that you - and your family - will pay."

"Mummy! Mummy!" a little girl's terrified voice came from the door to the sitting room.

"Holly!" Mrs. Hawthorn shouted, getting up and attempting to reach her daughter before the man in the middle raised his wand.

"_Crucio!_" he let out, hitting the poor woman straight in the chest. Her screams pierced the silence, soon joined by Hawthorn's shouts and his children's cries of panic.

"This is getting out of hand," James said, in true Gryffindor fashion. "We're going in."

"Shouldn't we call for backup?" Lily tried, fighting her own instinct to go inside and save the day.

"By the time they get here it'll all be over. We didn't think Hawthorn was such a big fish - no one is on alert. This was just stakeout duty. If we don't move in now - they're all dead."

Lily looked at him for one long moment before kissing him. "Whatever happens tonight, James, know that I love you."

"I love you, too," James said without a pause. "Let's go."

And in they went.

Bursting through the door to the sitting room, all others in the room froze for a second. The crying Mrs. Hawthorn, released from the pain of the Curse, her eyes wide with horror, the almost petrified Mr. Hawthorn, kneeling in a begging position in front of the Death Eater with his wand out, pointed at his three little children that were held in the steely grip of the third Death Eater. All frozen in place, staring at Lily and James.

And then the Death Eater with the wand turned, and Lily felt her heart clench in fear, spell only half-pronounced. Their opponent's eyes were red. They were once again facing Voldemort.

Why, why, _why_ was their luck so bad? No one else that she heard of has had _two_ encounters with the epitome of all evil. Of course, usually people who came face to face with him ended up dead shortly after. There were only a few who ever survived their first encounter with him, and she could count them on the fingers of one hand: Alice and Frank Longbottom, Fabian Prewett, and Marlene McKinnon. She wondered if James and she would survive this second time. For some reason she doubted it.

All this passed in her mind in a fraction of a second. There was no time for doubt. If they were to survive this night, she had to think on her feet, just as James always did.

So she shouted the very first spell that came to mind.

"_Wingardium Leviosa!_"

Later on, she would wonder what had come over her to use that spell out of the entire arsenal she had memorized during her school days. At the moment, it had the benefit of the surprising the hell out of not only James, Nott and the third Death Eater, but also out of Voldemort, who suddenly lost his footing and found himself in the air.

He was down in seconds, but it gave James just the opening he needed in order to attack the Death Eater holding the three children.

And then there was chaos. Curses were shouted from all directions. James and Lily kept moving, knowing that a single moment of staying still would most likely cost their lives. Lily was bleeding from several places, and she was pretty sure that the curse that hit her shoulder was doing some nasty damage to the skin and to the muscles bellow, but she could not stop, despite the pain.

The first one to die was Mrs. Hawthorn. A ricocheting Avada Kedavra hit her, allowing no chance of surviving. Lily had never seen someone killed with that Curse. She froze with shock, staring at the unmoving body. She was almost hit by one herself before James came out of nowhere, knocking her down. The Curse missed her head by inches, hitting instead the Hawthorns' fireplace, which exploded, sending sparks all over the place.

In seconds, the place was on fire.

One of the Hawthorn children was down, killed by a cutting hex to the throat. Hawthorn himself was desperately trying to reach his two remaining children, only to be shot with the Avada Kedavra himself.

Around them, the Hawthorns' house was bursting in flame.

"James!" Lily shouted, ducking from yet another curse. "We have to get out!"

"I know!"

And they ran. On their way out, James managed to grab the girl who had shouted for her mother only minutes before. Her brother and sister were both dead, the boy having been crushed by the crumbling ceiling. Carrying her in his arms, he ran after Lily, outside, with Nott and Voldemort behind them, the other Death Eater dead by James' hand.

Putting her down and pushing her behind the neighbours' hedge, James and Lily stood side by side, facing the other two, knowing surviving was not much of an option at the moment. Lily, not taking her eyes off the advancing Dark wizards, felt with her hand until she found James' and squeezed it tight.

"I love you," she repeated.

"I-" James began, only to be cut off by the sound of sirens coming up the street. Someone had called the Muggle police.

In seconds two police cars were parked outside the burning house and four policemen came out, all holding weapons. They could clearly see that the tall man in the black clothes was threatening the couple who was defending a little girl with their own bodies. They had no doubt who was the criminal here - even though they had no idea what he was threatening them _with_.

"Drop your weapon, sir," one of the Muggles called firmly. "Right now!"

Voldemort looked at them incredulously, obviously not believing his eyes.

"Drop that weapon, mister!" the Muggle's voice repeated.

Voldemort almost started laughing when popping sounds came from all over the place. The Aurors arrived. Lily had no idea how on earth they heard about what happened, but at the moment she did not care. There were ten Aurors there, and while she was certain Voldemort could easily take them out, the fact that he and Nott were also surrounded by Muggle police and that more Aurors were probably on the way would make the evil man hesitate.

And indeed, Voldemort, not wanting to end his career so soon, had made his decision. In a scream that echoed his rage from their first encounter, Voldemort Apparted away, his pale face twisted and angry. James and Lily remained in their place, clutching at one another, their eyes wide, their minds refusing to adhere to the fact that they were still alive. Around them the house burned, the bodies of those unfortunate souls that were the victims of the Death Eaters scattered on the floor. The only survivor, little Holly Hawthorn, was standing shell-shocked beside them, her thumb stuck in her mouth as she watched her home burning to the ground.

Still practically attached by the hip, the couple inched their way away from the place before the Muggle policemen or the Aurors would even think of asking them questions, managing to walk a few hundred yards before collapsing against a wall in a deserted alleyway smelling strongly of urine and garbage.

"We're alive," Lily rather unnecessarily stated, staring at her boyfriend, unblinking.

"Amazingly, it would appear so," he replied weakly. Then he stared back at her. Even in her unstable state, she could almost see the wheels turning inside his mind. Finally, he seemed to reach to a conclusion. He began searching for something in his clothes, looking through the pockets of his coat and of his trousers, through the tatters of his cloak, until at last he seemed to find what he was looking for.

Turning to face her, he took one of her hands gently in his. He looked into her eyes, and suddenly she did not mind the smell of human excrement and of rotting food, nor the fact that her clothes were spattered with blood of others. Suddenly, there was only James in her world.

"Lily," he said gently, touching a filthy thumb to her grimy cheek, "this should have been done differently. There should have been flowers and music. We should have been after a good dinner, laughing and slightly intoxicated. But I can't delay longer - not after what we went through just now. So, I give you this, and I hope that you will consider me kindly." Softly, he took her hand and deposited something small, cool and circular in it, closing her fingers on it.

Her eyes wide, she opened them again, knowing what was sitting on her palm, yet not quite believing it was happening. A ring of white gold was there, topped with a near-perfect diamond that was flanked by two tiny emeralds. Lily was entranced. She turned the ring over and over with her fingers, staring at it as though it was the only thing in the world.

"Yes," she choked out.

And there were no more tears.

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A half-dozen pairs of eyes looked in wide-eyed shock as Lily came down to breakfast the next day with the shiny band, set with tiny gems, gracing her ring finger. Though they all knew James was going to propose sooner or later, they did not expect it to happen just after the two of them had only barely gotten away from danger the night before. They had looked so exhausted and drained the night before. They of course had no idea that the proposal had taken place before the couple had even set foot in Potter Manor, but that mattered little when the realization of it sank in.

Laura was the first to come to her senses, emitting a very unladylike squeal of delight before rushing to gather both young people into a bone-crushing hug.

"It's about damn time!" Gavin said from his seat, leaning backwards in his chair. But if anyone in the room had doubt as to his happiness, all they had to do was to look at his face. He was smiling from ear to ear and Remus could swear there were tears behind his reading glasses.

And there was much rejoicing.

As was traditional, the women took charge of the whole planning and executing of the wedding. Marcia Evans would arrive at Potter Manor every day promptly at nine and then would closet herself with Laura Potter in the Western drawing room, from which they would not emerge until lunchtime. During lunch they would remain deliberately vague on the things they came up with, and then they went back to the drawing room until teatime.

Lily and James took it all good-naturedly, for they knew that any idea that they would not like, would be removed from their mothers' list. In fact, it seemed as though they were relieved not to be the ones to handle the preparations. That left them with enough free time to simply be with one another between jobs and studies - not to mention Order duties.

And then, bit by bit, the mothers' ideas were filtered to the young couple and to the men of the two families. Flower arrangements, music, decorations, possible dates, invitation design, places to get the wedding robes (it took a while to convince Marcia that it had to be robes and not tuxedoes and ball gowns), catering, and everything in-between. The only thing left almost completely to James and Lily was the list of invitees. Naturally, the mothers had to go over it later and point out missing relatives and mislaid important people, but eventually everyone was happy with the result.

Around that time the Marauders and Lily's friends were dragged into the picture. It was the first time since leaving school that the entire group of Gryffindors gathered again in one place. Even Wren, recently returned from Fair Isle, was there, looking much better than she ever had back at school.

The happy reunion was short, however, for not long after breakfast, the girls were whisked to one end of the Manor, and the Marauders to the other.

"Aren't we going to Diagon Alley to get fitted?" Peter asked James in surprise as Laura led them to a room on the second floor.

The taller man shrugged. "That's the way Mum is, Wormtail. She has to have the best - and the best means a tailor - or a seamstress - that comes home to do the measurements and everything for you. She'll have none of Madam Malkin's pre-made fitted-on-the-spot robes." All this was said in a very low voice, so it would not reach his mother's ears.

The tailor was a very agitated, small man, with a balding head and huge, round glasses. Whenever he blinked - which was often - he looked disturbingly like an insect. He started with Sirius, who was tallest, and then gradually worked down the line to Peter, all the while mumbling things about colours, styles and textures. They were all greatly relieved to file out of that room in the end of that session.

That, however, was the problem. Laura Potter made it perfectly clear that this was only the first of a long string of fitting sessions. Everything had to be absolutely _perfect_ for her son's wedding. Remus, who listened to all this with growing horror, could only comfort himself by thinking how much worse this would be for the girls, who were bound to go for more elaborate cuts. Rather petty - but true nonetheless.

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"So what are you going to tell all of Lily's Muggle relatives?" Remus asked dubiously as he watched James being fitted into his dark dress robes on the last session. "I mean, I know that Lily went for a slightly more Muggle-ish cut for her wedding robes, but yours are _clearly_ not Muggle - not to mention mine, or Sirius' and Peter', or those of half the guests!"

"Oh, Mum and Dad are working on it," James mumbled as he flinched from the tailor's needle yet again. "They're working on some sort of glamour spell that will trick a Muggle's eye. Of course, it will only work on our clothes, so we'll have to warn all the guests from _our_ world that they have to be very careful about what they say or how they behave. It'll be tricky, but Mum and Dad will be there to keep an eye on people - not to mention the Professors."

"I can't believe you actually invited the _teachers_," Sirius said from his place to one side, where he was waiting for his turn with the tailor just as Remus and Peter were.

"I couldn't leave them out," James patiently explained. "Lily would have killed me."

Which was probably true. Lily loved most of their Hogwarts teachers - even the strict Professor McGonagall and the flighty Professor Sprout. Had James not invited them to their wedding, she probably would have been very upset, and an upset Lily was not one James wanted to deal with - especially not on their wedding.

The guest list was compiled of mostly wizards and witches. Though Lily had a few Muggle friends, she lost touch with most of her friends from primary school since starting at Hogwarts. It was simply too hard to keep those two separate lives when the Muggles could not be told where she was going all through the year, and letters that came by owl would have been suspicious. It was the sad dilemma of every Muggle-born to come to Hogwarts, but it seemed to have worked all right for Lily. Most of the Muggles would be her family and her parents' closest friends.

Petunia, Lily's sister, made it perfectly clear that she was not going to come.

On the day Lily informed her friends about that, Remus found himself walking on his own on the Potter grounds. Sirius had gone to take a nap; Peter was deep in discussion with the twins. They were talking about the merits and downsides of a Ministry job versus a freelance job. Remus, not wanting to be dragged into it, having had enough of hearing about everybody's great jobs and futures, decided it was time to take a stroll.

It had been a while since he walked those grounds, since whenever the Marauders were at the Manor; their outside activity mostly consisted of Quidditch. Remembering a quiet place in the very center of the rose garden, he took a book and headed that way. Some peace and quiet was something he rarely had lately.

He was nearly there, weaving his way amongst the hedges and large rose bushes that were Gavin Potter's pride and joy, when he heard Lily's raised voice and stopped dead in his tracks. Last time he heard her talk that way was when she and James had that big fight over his taking an Auror's job on himself.

"-see how it's any of your business, James."

"Of course it's my business!" James' voice came immediately, just as raised. "The moment something bothers you so much that you start moping it certainly becomes my business! Do you think that no one can see how much it bothers you?"

"It's my own business - and besides, I _don't_ care. You of all people know what she's like - she would have made the wedding a hell for me - glaring at all our friends and at _your_ family. Really. It's better that way."

"You came to _her_ wedding," James reminded her.

"Yes. And we all remember how well _that_ went," she said scathingly. "I didn't want to come. She didn't want _me_ to come. The only reason I was there was because Mum was so adamant about it."

"_And_ because, secretly, you still care for your sister - no matter what she thinks of _you_. Merlin, Lily! Did you think I can't see through your act? Do you think I can't see how sad you become once your sister is mentioned? You may be able to mask the hurt from your parents and friends, but do you honestly think you can fool me?"

There was a long, tense silence before Lily spoke again. Remus' feet were beginning to numb.

"I'm tired of caring, James," she said with a sigh. "For eight years I've repeatedly tried to mend what I should have known to be broken without repair. She was just jealous at first, you know? Hurt that I was invited to attend a _special_ school, while she could only go to the local secondary. Her grades were never remarkable, so she had no chance of getting a scholarship in some prestigious school. I have no idea when that jealousy started turning into dislike and then to honest hate, but it happened - and no matter what I did over the years and no matter what I occasionally still try to do - I will never have my sister back the way we were before Hogwarts.

"I'm no angel - I know I've done some horrible things to her throughout the years - using the fact that I could use magic to taunt her when she was horrible to me - but... I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of trying to make her see me for me and for what I chose to do with my life. I'm tired of fighting but also of trying to please my parents and be nice to her while she doesn't give a damn and doesn't even try to be _polite_.

"So quite honestly, James - it's better this way. Let her stay at home with her awful husband and spy on her neighbours as she is prone to be. I'm sick of this. She's my sister and always will be as far as _I'm_ concerned. But what she wants to do is her choice and I will not go down on my knees begging her to change her mind."

"If that's what will make you happy," James said, admitting defeat.

"It will," she said firmly. "I'm the happiest person in the world right now, and I'll be damned if I let my bitter hag of a sister ruin it for me."

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"When are you leaving?" James asked, glancing at the scantily clad Lily as she applied lipstick to her lips, enjoying the view. They were in the Evans household after having spent the day together. Lily's parents were not home - they were already at Potter Manor, preparing for the big day that would come tomorrow.

"In half an hour," she said, straightening and reaching for her Muggle dress. "Haley will be picking me up and taking me to wherever it is they have planned."

"Who's coming? Do you know?" he took up his jacket and slipped it on.

"Keira, the twins and Haley, of course - and I think Keira invited Alice - a few girls we used to hang out with at Hogwarts - from the other Houses, and that's about it, I think. What about yours?"

"Sirius, Remus and Peter," he said with a smile.

"Aren't you inviting anyone else to your party?" Lily asked curiously as he zipped up her dress for her. "Frank? Your colleagues from St Mungo's? Anyone?"

"Nope," he said turning her around to look at her and appreciate the way the dress hugged her body. "It'll be just the four of us. Just the Marauders - like old times."

She snorted. "You make it sound as though the four of you _ever_ drifted apart. You've been all living together on and off for the past year or so. Not much worse than at Hogwarts, I'd say!"

"I know," he agreed, "but that doesn't mean we spend as many times together as we might have liked. We all have jobs, now, and everything. Besides, after tomorrow, the two of us will be living alone and for a while I will be dedicating all my time to you, don't you agree?"

She laughed and slapped his shoulder lightly. "You make it sound like an unpleasant task!"

His expression became serious at that, and he took her hand in his, raising it to his lips. "That, my dear lady," he said, kissing her knuckles gently, "would never be true."

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"Where are we going?" James asked curiously as the Marauders gathered in Sirius' flat.

"To get drunk, of course," Sirius said with a grin. "In private, because Moony said we shouldn't embarrass you _too_ much on the night before your wedding. You might be too embarrassed to show your face tomorrow, and then the lovely Lady Lily would come for _my_ head. So now, if you please, give me your arm, Prongs, and I shall side-along Apparate you to our destination."

Remus could see James' suspicion, but only smiled to himself. At first he was hesitant when Sirius suggested the location in which they would be getting drunk. There were too many bad memories there. But on the other hand, the place was also the focal point of the best years of his life so far. Finally, as Sirius knew all too well, Remus caved and gave his approval.

And so they Apparated, with Sirius taking James along, straight into the Shrieking Shack. Earlier that day, Sirius, Remus and Peter organized everything there - from copious amount of alcohol of every variety known to wizards and Muggles, to James' favourite foods and desserts. They also brought cards - for old times' sake.

"I can't believe this," James said, shaking his head with a small smile. "_This_ is the crazy Stag Night that you had planned? A few beers and snacks?"

"There's nothing better than a few beers and snacks with old friends, Prongs!" Sirius said happily. "And besides... When was the last time you got a taste of Ogden's extra-hot Firewhiskey?"

It was quite a few drinks later that Sirius cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. The cheerful conversation died down and he got up to his feet. It was a little ridiculous, seeing as there were only three other people in the room with him, but it seemed as though it was something he needed to do.

Reaching under one of the pillows, he pulled out a bottle of Champaign and filled everyone's glasses before straightening again and starting to speak. "Well," he said, "I know you all probably think I've had a little too much to drink - but I think this is something I really have to say.

"We've known each other and been together for about nine years now, and, well, now one of us is going to take a different path. I think that deep inside, we always knew it was Prongsie that would do that fatal step - and he has proven us all right. Of course, I never would have pinned him as a one-woman man when we first met - but that just goes to show that even someone as predictable as Prongs can surprise us at times."

James looked about to protest, but wisely decided not to rise to the bait as Sirius continued his speech.

"Now, Prongs, you know that despite everything - all the trouble we've all put you through - mainly me, but all of us at some point or another - we're your best friends and we'll always be there for you - through thick and thin, fights with the Lovely Lady (you know you can always camp on my couch if she ever kicks you out for the night), and everything in-between.

"To Prongs and his Lily," he said, raising his glass. "May they have a long and happy marriage."

"To James and Lily."

**I'm sure you've all noticed by now that there are many more scenes that are not from Remus' PoV. There will be quite a few now, but the greater parts of most chapters would still be from his PoV. Those scenes are necessary to make the story roll properly, and you'll note I gave myself that loophole in the preface to the story, when Remus says that parts of the story were told to him :)**

**Anyway! Next chapter: The Big Day - and I shall add no more!**

**Hugs and kisses to all!**

**-Star of the North**


	39. A Light in the Time of Darkness

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Um. Dunno if anyone's still reading this after so many long pauses, but here's the new chapter... I can't apologise enough for the long time it took me to update, but there was so much to do these past months! I hope that those who still read Story are still enjoying it. There's not much left now - just eleven more chapters to go...

This chapter's a little short, but I really thought there was no point in making it longer since I think it gets to the point quite well.

Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirty Nine - A Light in the Time of Darkness**

The day of the Wedding finally arrived, and the Marauders were all gathered in the section reserved for the male part of the population in Potter Manor. It was secluded and far from the main part of the house where preparations were made in order to allow Muggles to enter the property. It was mostly to keep the four, particularly James, away from under his parents' feet.

"You know, normally the groom is the one that's supposed to be nervous, _not_ the best man. You _do_ know that, don't you, Padfoot?"

Remus could hear the amusement in James' voice and could not do anything but agree. The stereotypical bridegroom was always on the verge of getting cold feet on the morning of his wedding after the customary Stag Night. He would always be nervous and asking anyone who would listen - and anyone who would not - "Why am I doing this?"

He would also always be sick first thing in the morning for all the drink he had consumed the night before.

James, however, was calm and collected as usual. The only sign that something different was going on in his life was the big grin stretching his lips from one side of his face to the other, showing that he was too happy to express it in words. Remus thought he looked quite foolish, but kept it to himself.

Sirius, on the other hand, was a completely different matter…

It was as though James had passed all nervousness to his best friend. Sirius was pacing back and forth, his usually sleek hair all over the place, his dress robes undone and his eyes looking in every which direction uncontrollably. His hands were shaking and he looked as though he was having one hell of a hangover.

Considering he was the one who drank the least of the lot of them the night before, it was rather strange.

James apparently noticed Remus' peculiar train of thought, for he grinned at Remus with his eyebrow quirked. "Spit it out, Moony," he said. "I know there's something you're absolutely _itching_ to ask, so go ahead with it."

"Why?" Remus let out after a moment's thought. "Why aren't you nervous?"

"Should I be?" James asked, now both eyebrows rising, almost disappearing into his hairline.

"Grooms usually are, I'm told."

"Ah," James smiled now. "I see. Why should I be nervous, Moony, when everything I ever dreamed of is coming true? I've wanted this for a very long time, my friend. You of all people should know. You probably realized it before any of the others - before I did, even."

Remus shifted guiltily at that, confirming James' suspicions.

"The moment I realized that what I felt for Lily was genuine love I knew that she was the one I would one day marry. Clichéd, I know," he pulled a face, "but true nonetheless. I won't go as far as saying that we were meant to be together, for that smacks of Divination, of which neither of us holds, but she's definitely the girl for me. Does that answer your question, old friend?"

Remus only nodded, but with a matching smile to the one James sported on his face.

Glancing at the trembling Sirius by his side, who was looking at him with pleading eyes, James sighed. "Err… I wonder, could you do me a favour, Moony?"

"Sure."

"Since you're already dressed and ready, could you hop down and see if the ladies are about ready? I don't think we have much time left before the guests arrive."

Realizing that James was probably going to have a long, tedious conversation with Sirius about his behaviour, Remus motioned Peter to follow him and lead the way out of the men's dressing room. The door had barely closed when they heard Sirius' desperate voice saying, "But you _can't_ get married, Prongs!"

"If Lily hears of this she's bound to maim Padfoot," Peter said, his eyes wide. "She might even _kill_ him."

"Quite possible," Remus said, laughing. "James'll straighten him up, though. Don't you worry. We won't have to scrape pieces of Padfoot off the floor today."

"I sure hope not," Peter said fervently. Then, with a slight twinkle to his eyes said, "Because these robes cost a _fortune_."

Remus laughed even harder at that.

"I think I'll go see if there's anything to eat," Peter then said. "I'm starved. I'm surprised you aren't, too. You haven't eaten anything since yesterday."

"I think I got some of Sirius' nervousness. My stomach's against anything entering it at the moment," Remus replied with a shudder. "I'll go check on the ladies as James asked."

Reaching the staircase, Peter went down in the direction of the kitchens, and Remus continued down the corridor and then down a different staircase that he knew led to where the ladies were getting ready under Laura Potter and Marcia Evans' close supervision.

Knocking politely on the door that was the gateway to the completely feminine realm of the pre-marital bride, he waited until he heard a firm, "Come in," before he dared opening the door.

"Morning, ladies," he said urbanely, grinning widely. It seemed as though good mood simply refused to leave him that morning. "How are you all?"

A chorus of responses assaulted his senses. They were all positive, however, so he did not really mind.

"How is my boy doing, Remus?" Laura asked him with a bright smile on her face as she did Keira's hair with carefully controlled movements of her wand. "Nervous, I'd imagine."

"As a matter of fact, James is currently busy calming down Sirius, as strange as it may sound," he said, grinning at his friend's mother.

"Oh?"

Without thinking, Remus said, "Sirius is panicking about his best friend succumbing to the institution of marriage and is trying to convince James that being a bachelor is not all that bad an idea after all."

"You mean that stupid git is trying to _make_ James having cold feet?" Lily's voice rose dangerously from behind the screen that hid her as she most likely got into her wedding robes.

Remus almost winced at her tone before thinking of a proper reply. It seemed that his earlier assumption that they would not be picking pieces of Sirius off the floor that day was a little off. "Not precisely, Lily," he hurried the explosion off as best he could. "He's just a little nervous about it all - I guess he's afraid he will be losing his best friend, now that James will be married and living in a place of his own."

"Oh, he's absolutely _ridiculous_!" Lily snapped exasperatedly and then swept from behind the screen, her silver-embroidered, white silk wedding robe already in place. Remus' brain tried to tell him that a compliment would be proper to utter, but all he could do was stare. Lily was absolutely stunning. The robe was elegantly cut and tastefully decorated with the silver embroidery. She had her hair free, ready to be dressed for the evening, and the fiery locks stood vividly against the white of the cloth.

James simply had no idea how lucky he was.

And then, finally, he managed to say, "You're beautiful, Lily. James would absolutely fall to pieces at your feet."

She blushed prettily and fluttered her lashes at him before laughing. "Thank you, Remus. I had no doubt that he will - but thank you very much for your reassurance." Then she narrowed her eyes. "I can't believe Sirius. We've had that conversation again and _again_ in the past. I'm not stealing James. It's a completely different sort of relationship - I should _hope_."

Remus laughed and led her to a corner where the others would not be able to eavesdrop. "Sirius is just worried," he said more seriously once they were there. "You have to understand the nature of his relationship with James in order to understand what is going on in his head just now. I don't know if you can see it, but Sirius is _completely_ dependent on James and on James' opinion. It's not as obvious as it used to be - especially since he and Keira began their... togetherness, I suppose you could call it - but it's there. If he loses James' faith once more like he did back in sixth year-"

"You mean back when he sent Snape to be killed by you?"

"I-" Everything he had intended to say slipped from his mind as he stared at his best friend's fiancée. He opened and closed his mouth several times, not knowing what to say, shocked beyond words. How did she know about that? Had James-?

"James didn't tell me," Lily said gently, almost as though she was reading his mind. "He never would have betrayed a friend's secret, and I think you know that. Putting aside the fact that Dumbledore revealed your situation to everyone in the Order on that first meeting, Keira and I... found about your it, _and_ about what the other three did for you, quite by accident. We were looking for blackmail material during seventh year, and that was what we found. I deduced what happened back at sixth a long time after, by myself."

"I..." he swallowed. "I really don't know what to say. Thank you, I suppose."

"No need to thank me, my dear friend," she said with a small smile, pecking him on the cheek. "Now go and see if I need to take off Sirius' head, will you?"

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The wedding took place in the grand ballroom. Lily wanted it to be in the gardens, but there was fear of rain and so it was decided that it would have to be inside. So that Lily would not be completely disappointed, flowers and greenery were placed everywhere inside the ballroom, making it as close to a garden as they possibly could. Of course everything was maintained fresh by magic, but the Muggle guests had no way of knowing it, and so they made sounds of awe at the complexity and beauty of the wedding hall. Remus could swear he saw Laura and Marcia smirking at one another with satisfaction.

By the time Remus arrived back at the room where James and Sirius were, it seemed as though the groom had managed to knock some sense into his best man's head, for Sirius was sitting calmly, looking somewhat bored as they all waited for the time to come. Watching him more closely, however, Remus could still see the remains of that senseless panic in his eyes. No matter what was said between Sirius and James, the best man still had his doubts about their friendship remaining the same.

Remus wished he could do something to alleviate those ridiculous fears, but knew better than that. If both James and Lily could not reassure Sirius, he had no hope of doing so.

But then Lily entered the hall on her father's arm, and everything seemed to go silent. Any trace of animosity that may have been in Sirius' eyes and stance vanished as he watched the adoring exchange of glances between his best friend and the woman he chose to spend the rest of his life with. Remus could swear there were tears in Sirius' eyes. But then again, his own eyes were more than a little moist as David Evans delivered his youngest daughter to James. Indeed, he did not think there was one dry eye in the entire hall.

On the one side was the only son of a couple of the most esteemed Aurors the wizarding world still had, famous for their abilities and for the fact that they left starting a family to so late in life. Almost all those who had known the Potters knew that that James' birth had been a miracle. On the other side was the youngest girl in her family, whose older sister was already married, and would be the last child to leave the nest. For the rest of the guests, those who knew the pair from their Hogwarts days, it was the culmination of a rocky, fiery, sometimes dangerous process, which they had the privilege to witness over eight or so years.

And then the ceremony began, and everyone had their eyes trained on the raised platform where the bride, the groom and their companions stood.

Remus, being himself, did not pay attention so much to the ceremony as to the congregated guests. As always, it was much more interesting than the generic mumbling of someone officiating a wedding. Since he was magic, he, unlike the Muggles, could see the true nature of the wizarding guests' clothes. There were quite a few eccentrics out there, and since the Potters knew people from all circles of society, some of them were quite a sight.

There were robes of every colour and pattern, sometimes clashing horribly with the wearer's hair or other accessories. There were ridiculous hats and atrocious hairstyles. He truly wanted to burst out laughing as he spotted an elderly witch wearing a purple feathered hat with green sequins all over its brim, but thought it would be a little out of place when Lily and James were just getting to their I do's.

There were very few Muggles there. Lily's parents, a few relatives who must have been aunts and uncles and perhaps a grandmother, and a few young people who were probably either Lily's childhood friends or cousins. They were all teary-eyed, but Remus did not fail to note that some of them looked strangely at their wizarding counterparts. Apparently Laura and Gavin's spells were not _that_ foolproof. He wondered what exactly they were seeing.

At last he returned his attention to his friends. They were holding hands. Lily, in her white, silver-embroidered wedding robes, and James, in his black ones, were looking into each other's eyes. They had eyes for no one else. Remus doubted they paid more than cursory attention to what was said to them. They had ears only to the parts that would get them closer to being lawfully wedded.

He wondered what was going through their minds just now. Was James seeing all the times he asked Lily out and then refused? Was he seeing all their fights, all his failed attempts to get her attention, be it as a victim of her anger or as the receiver of her affections? Was Lily thinking of all the times James had humiliated her, of the times he came to her defence despite all the bad blood between them? Was she hearing the insults she had thrown his way, or the endearments that followed after they started dating? Or were they both not thinking at all, so absorbed in one another?

No one deserved this much happiness more than these two did. Both so loyal, so passionate. Their love to one another would bind them so close together that no one and nothing could ever separate them. Now Remus finally realised what hurt and worried Sirius so much, what made him fight the inevitable. James would forever belong to Lily now. While there was enough room in his heart for all his friends and for his family, Lily would forever be first in line. He would give anything to keep her happy. He would sacrifice himself to keep her safe.

Remus knew all too well. The force that made James the man he was was his unlimited ability to _love_. And now that love was all Lily's.

And then it was done. His redheaded friend was no longer Lily Evans, but the new Mrs. Potter. And she was glowing. Both she and James were. The young couple could barely look away from one another and when they kissed, sealing the pact, not one person in the hall failed to understand how much they meant to one another. They turned to face the cheering crowd, wide smiles splitting both their faces, and then James turned back to Lily and lifted her off her feet, twirling her around as she laughed in delight, then kissing her squarely on the lips, making sure the entire world knew that this was _his wife_.

From the corner of one eye Remus could see Professor McGonagall dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. Not far from her Hagrid was howling with tears of joy, startling a Muggle man standing next to him, and Professor Dumbledore was patting him comfortingly somewhere on the center of his back.

"I guess this is it," someone said from behind Remus and he turned to face Sirius. Despite his somewhat sad tone, his friend was grinning broadly, manically even. "Our Prongs is all grown up and married to his girl. Guess our work here is done, eh?"

Remus raised an eyebrow at this.

"Tell you what," Sirius continued, his eyes following the newly-weds who were busily greeting all their guests, "Let's take Wormtail and get drunk. You game?"

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He should have known that listening to Sirius was never a good idea. Of course, that notion came to him only while he was swinging from side to side, crammed between Sirius and Peter, and humming off-key to his friends' equally off-key, horrendous singing. He was painfully aware of the fact that they were in the hall where tables were now set instead of chairs, and where the guests were trying to enjoy their wedding feast.

How they made their way from the wine cellar (and how Sirius knew the way there was still a great mystery) back to the wedding hall was quite miraculous, seeing that at least two of the party of three had at the moment no limbs-eyes coordination. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that both Sirius and Peter were leaning quite heavily on Remus, or with the fact that they were both pulling in two different directions and therefore keeping their course straight. Remus only had to make the turns himself, and gravity took care of the rest.

He was merely tipsy, unlike Sirius and Peter, who had delved deep into Gavin Potter's wine cellar, and so had enough good manners to look ashamed when he spotted James burying his face in his hands at his table. Lily attempted to look sympathetic, patting her husband's (wow, now that was an idea he would have to get used to...) back, but quite honestly she appeared to be fighting down laughter. Almost all eyes were now trained on the groom's friends, who were making quite a scene, Remus came to realize.

Then they reached the newly-weds' table, and Remus could hear, even through Sirius' louder and louder singing, what was being said.

"I'm going to kill him," James was saying, head still in hands. Remus had no doubt that James was not referring either to him or to Peter. When he used _that_ tone of voice it could only be for one person.

"Oh, come on, James, they're just having a bit of fun - just like the girls," Lily said, nearly hiccupping with her attempt to contain her laughter.

"Oh, yeah?" James said, glaring in their direction. "I don't see Keira or Haley or any one of the others drunk off their arses and singing a horrid rendition of a Celestina Warbeck's A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love!"

Was that what they were singing? Oh, well. Remus always knew Sirius had a horrible taste in music.

At this Lily could not stop herself anymore, and burst out laughing.

**Well, then! The Potters are safely married! And after this lightheartedness, I'm afraid it's time to realise once again that Voldemort is in the world, and that bad things are happening... So what will we have in chapter 40? Werewolves, betrayal and tragedies - oh, my!**

**Thanks to all those who reviewed so far!**

**-Star of the North**


	40. The Twisting Knife

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** So! Here I am again! Took me a while, but here's another chapter posted! I must warn you, though, this is not a particularly happy chapter - but significantly longer than the one before. Those of you who wanted to hear more of Remus and his problems - this is quite the chapter for you...

What can I say? The war goes on, and therefore sad things happen. Still hoping you'll like it...

**Chapter Forty - The Twisting Knife**

During the first few weeks after Lily and James' wedding, the Marauders barely saw the young couple. When they were not busy at work, they were closeted together in their small rented flat in London, rarely going out. Sirius made quite a few crude comments during that period, the most gentle of which was, "No doubt they're spending their time shagging like rabbits." This earned him quite a few smacks on the head from various directions, but mostly from Keira.

Soon, however, the honeymoon period had to come to end, for the real world was knocking at the door, and the Order of the Phoenix was calling them back to duty. There were too few members, and Dumbledore needed each and every one of them. James and Lily came willingly, of course, but they still made sure to spend a lot of time with each other and, as much as was possible, with their friends.

Remus had never seen his friends looking so radiant. Even during the time when they just started dating after years of tension, longing and hate. Lily was continuously blushing and smiling beautifully, and James constantly had a foolish grin on his face. They kept touching and holding hands, as though they could not bear being away from each other for long. After so many years and such tangled, complicated history between them, Remus could not blame them. He was happy for them, and that helped distract him from his own problems.

He was once again kicked from his job, without explanation. He had no doubt that his boss discovered he was lycanthropic, and so did not protest. At least his current employer had enough decency to pay him his salary before kicking him out. Unemployed, he suddenly discovered he could not pay Mrs. Lark rent. Humiliated, he went to his parents for help. This was the one thing he did not want to do - to still be dependent on his parents almost at age twenty. They would gladly help him, of course, and would not mind if he could not manage to pay them back, but it made him feel ashamed.

And as if all of this was not bad enough, when he came by Headquarters under Dumbledore's request, his luck seemed to go from bad to worse.

The Headmaster looked unusually sober as he asked Remus to take a seat across the big table in one of the Headquarters' rooms. Even the ever-present twinkle was subdued in his eyes. The foreboding feeling Remus had upon entering the building intensified.

"I'm sending you to be our scout amongst the werewolves, Remus. Is that acceptable to you?" He said this without preamble, but then again, Dumbledore was never one to beat about the bush.

Remus had wondered how long it would be before Dumbledore would ask that of him. It was only a matter of time, really. He was the only werewolf in the Order, and therefore the most obvious one to undertake that mission. He could not deny that he had hoped Dumbledore would not do it, but there was no doubt in his mind that it would happen, one way or another.

"Don't you mean spy?" he asked softly, not looking at the man. Suddenly the grooves in the table's wooden surface became incredibly fascinating. It must have been decades of years old, and so many hands had smoothed it, and many knives left their marks on it.

"If you wish," Dumbledore said just as softly. "I will not _make_ you take this mission on yourself, for I know how dangerous it is and I know that you are more of a scholar than a warrior, unlike your friends. But I _will_ have you know that you are the only one I can send there. Already Turned, you will only be facing the danger of death, which all of you are faced with on every mission you undertake. I don't want you to make this decision lightly, either. You don't have to tell me your answer today."

Remus inwardly sighed. He knew that Dumbledore knew that there was only one possible answer for that, him being who he was. And, as the older man said, there was no one except him who could do this job. Dumbledore was playing on his sense of duty, on his loyalty to his friends and on his determination that no one should suffer what he had suffered. The decision may have been excruciatingly hard and painful for the old man, but as always, he considered it to be for the greater good. As much as Remus admired him for being able to make those decisions, he could not help but almost hate him at that moment. He raised his head and nodded. "I'll do it - just as you knew I would, Professor."

Dumbledore sadly nodded as well. "Thank you, Remus. Benjy will contact you with the details soon."

The younger man numbly got up and left the Headmaster behind him. He had never felt so betrayed in his life. The man he honoured above all else had taken his trust and loyalty, and used them in the most horrendous way possible. Dumbledore knew Remus did not want to be associated with other werewolves. He had met many over the years, during his annual visits to the Ministry to renew his registration, and most reminded him of the one who had given him the Bite in the first place. He did not want to be like them. Ever.

But he had given his answer, and he was not one to back out of his word.

Though he seemed to take that betrayal fairly lightly, his friends were indignant enough on his behalf. When they all met in the Potters' (it was still strange to think of them as that) flat, there was a long, incensed debate on that, where they all seemed to agree that Dumbledore was insensitive to ask it of Remus.

"You shouldn't have agreed to do it, Moony," James said vehemently, viciously stabbing his steak.

Remus shrugged. "But he's right, you know. I'm the least in danger of all the Order."

"That's a heap of shite, and you know that!" his friend growled, shaking his knife at Remus. "If the werewolves realize you're there on behalf of Dumbledore and the Light side, they're more than likely to tear you into pieces than just let you leave and never come back. If one of us would go, we'll most likely be Bitten and not killed. I think this is better than the other way around!"

Which only went to show the unique way in which James viewed the world, in Remus' opinion. Anyone else would have considered death the lesser of two evils. James, however, referred to Remus' lycanthropy as a furry little problem, and considered him as fully human as himself. Had he been the werewolf, he would have taken the same optimistic view on life. It was just the way he was. Remus felt incredible gratitude to James at that moment.

"It doesn't matter," he said bravely. "What's done is done and cannot be taken back. I'll do the mission like any mission in the past, and I'll be back in a couple of weeks, if Dumbledore is to be believed, and we will all sit and be angry about the way Voldemort uses those poor, helpless people. Deal?"

James looked about ready to continue grumbling, but Lily leaned across the table and took firm hold of his hand, stilling it. She smiled sadly at Remus. "Deal, Remus. Don't you _dare_ getting yourself killed out there, you hear?"

Sometimes he could absolutely _kiss_ Lily. Only that would result in James pummeling him into the ground, so it would not be a so smart idea to begin with.

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Benjy Fenwick, a short, wiry man with hair already greying despite being only in his thirties, arrived at Mrs. Lark's two days after Remus' visit to Headquarters. He brought with him a slim, smart briefcase, and his expression was quite practical and emotionless. He passed the watchful Mrs. Lark without a hitch, and knocked smartly on Remus' door, catching him by surprise, for he had only arrived minutes before after yet another futile attempt at getting a job. Letting him into the room, Remus wondered why he was the one giving him the instructions.

Once settled on Remus' single chair, Fenwick began taking out various objects out of his briefcase. The first was a black-and-white picture of a rundown farmhouse surrounded by an overgrown garden, which, according to Benjy, was, "The largest werewolves' shelter this side of London. Currently houses almost fifty werewolves - both newly Bitten and veterans. All of them complete rejects of society, both men and women. They've been kicked out of their homes, lost their jobs, had their good names besmirched - I'm sure you know the drill."

The dry, factual voice made Remus almost wince. It was not that Fenwick ignored the fact that he was a werewolf - the man simply did not care. And it was not even in the way the Marauders did not care, but in a way that told Remus that the only reason the man was talking to him about this was because he was under Dumbledore orders. Otherwise, he could not have given a damn. This was obviously much better than blatant hatred, but he once again wondered why _this_ man was chosen by Dumbledore for this mission briefing.

Next Fenwick took out a map on which were marked all the shelters and hideouts used by werewolves in the vicinity of London, all the way north to Reading, and all the way south to Guildford. Remus wondered how long it took to locate all of these, but that aside, why did he need to know where they were located?

"Quite simple," Fenwick said upon being asked. "So that if the werewolves decide to abandon the shelter house, you'd know where the nearest subtitute shelters are. Also, in order to avoid anyone claiming you are a traitor, you backup story is that you've been living _in isolation_ for the past three years in an abandoned hut not far from York. You haven't been in contact with anyone since you settled in that hut and were driven out by bloodthirsty humans who located you after you mauled on someone. If you recognize anyone in the shelter - avoid them as best you can. We can_not_ afford having someone point you out as Dumbledore's man. No one will expect to be given your real name - don't take chances. Don't even _consider_ giving them even your first name. Both your first and last names are too unique to be forgotten, and I'm sure many of You Know Who's supporters remember a certain Remus Lupin who used to hang out with Potter and Black, who are well-known for their relationship with Dumbledore and the Order."

"I'll introduce myself as John," Remus offered. "It's a mundane enough name, and not many know it is my second name."

Fenwick pursed his lips for a moment before deciding that, "It should be safe enough. Now _this_," he continued, taking out the last item out of his briefcase, "is the most important thing I have to give you. You must _never_ leave it behind. It's an emergency Portkey. If anything happens as it shouldn't, break the glass surrounding it and touch it. Within three seconds it will send you to a safe place where you will stay until someone will come to get you." Then he handed Remus the object as well as a thin folder, and rose to leave. "I wish you luck on this, Lupin. The mission will last for a month at the most. Everything else you need to know is in that folder. Mission debriefing will be conducted two weeks from tomorrow, at Headquarters, noon sharp."

And he left, leaving Remus staring at the tiny porcelain shoe encased in the glass bubble that would be his single chance of escape in case something went wrong. His blood ran cold at the very thought. What was even worse was the fact that he might have to spend a full moon in the company of other werewolves.

Sighing to himself and wondering for the umpteenth time whether he should have rejected the mission, he opened the folder and started reading.

Three hours later found him sitting on his bed, staring blankly at the wall, the charred remains of the mission folder, the map and the picture on the floor under his feet. He had memorized it all, and now was seriously wondering if he could cancel at the last minute.

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The person that slunk into what once had been the Waverly farmstead early the next morning did not look remotely like Remus Lupin. He had the same grey-flecked hair and the same colour of the eyes, but if any of the Marauders would have happened to pass there, they would have had trouble recognizing their friend. He was stooped, his shoulders hunched and his head bowed. He was wearing his most ragged robes, stained, torn and much too big for him. His scars, caused by his own claws, were much more in prominence, showing through the holes and tears in his clothes. But what distinguished this wretched creature from Remus Lupin the most, were his eyes - deadened, without hope. It had taken him hours to relive all of his worst memories - of the years before the Marauders - hours to feel bad enough to be able to recreate that hopelessness.

He was carrying with him a cloth bag supposedly containing all of his worldly possessions - a broken watch, two filthy shirts and a pair of trousers, enough food rations for a week, and a piece of silk, which would symbolize the world he was forced out of, suggesting a wife or a lover that had abandoned him. Fenwick had done his research well.

Remus knew well that he had been spotted long before he even reached the fallen fence encircling the farmhouse, long before the first werewolf came to check who he was and what he was doing there. He wondered if the sentries thought themselves invisible and silent. If they did, then they were nothing but amateurs. This in itself made him want to laugh at his own folly. Even if they were amateurs in the arts of sneaking around, they could easily rip his throat out without a second's thought.

Just as he entered the fenced perimeter, a low growl behind him indicated he should stop and not move a muscle. So he did, ignoring the fact that the strap of his bag was digging into his shoulder. There were three of them and the wrong movement now might mean death would come more quickly than anticipated.

"State your name and business here," a hoarse voice demanded so close to him that Remus could smell his rancid breath.

"They call me John," he said carefully and quietly, "and my business here is to search for a temporary shelter."

"Shelter from what?" the voice demanded again.

"From my so-called family," Remus said bitterly, hoping he got the tone right. He was never good with that sort of deception. Not like Sirius and James. "They turned on me as soon as I was Bitten and for the past four years I've been running for my life." So he deviated a little from the story Fenwick built for him. He decided his version sounded more believable.

"Show us the scar, then," a second voice told him haughtily.

Careful not to make any sudden movements, knowing their eyes were fixed on him, he lowered his bag and then lifted the hem of his robes, revealing the ugly scar on his shin.

"That one's a bit older than four years," a third voice - a woman - said in suspicion, and Remus knew he had to act fast.

"That's because I was Bitten ten years ago," he explained patiently. "Managed to hide in the Highlands for quite a few years before they tracked me down. Something about family honour and all that shit." He sadly knew that he could easily pass as a man five years older than he was and therefore it was quite a believable lie. Never mind the fact that he bore the scar for more then ten years.

"You can turn now," the first voice said.

Remus thought it would be best to do as told, and slowly at that.

The three creatures behind him were the most wretched he had seen in a while. Covered in white, violent scars, with clothes barely holding in one piece, dirty, their hairs tangled, their teeth broken. Finally he understood why normal humans feared werewolves so much. These were people stripped of their humanity, stripped of their dignity and of everything that made them who they were before the Bite.

He could tell more or less how long they handled lycanthropy. The owner of the first voice, a short, stumpy man perhaps in his thirties was the most veteran of them. He had more scars and less hope in his eyes. The woman was next, and then the owner of the haughty voice, who must have been a very important official before he was Bitten.

"You may stay here for as long as you want," the newest said. "But if we get a whiff of treachery from you-" he slid a finger across his throat in an unmistakable motion.

Remus barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. He had to remember that this was not Hogwarts and that these people were not his friends. Every step he made would have to be calculated and cautious. After all, he had promised his friends he would not get himself killed. Easier said than done, unfortunately.

He entered the shelter with two of the three sentries flanking him. No one raised their heads when they entered. No one was interested.

The entrance opened into what must have been the farmhouse's dining hall, but the few tables that remained were broken, chewed and generally in a very sorry state. There were about twenty men and women there, all in various degrees of shabbiness and scarring. In the center of the room was a huge pile of food.

"Get yourself a corner," the woman said gruffly. "All the food you've got goes to the central pile. If you keep anything to yourself, it will be taken and you will be kicked out - if you're lucky." She seemed almost happy at the prospect of what would happen should he not be lucky.

Resignedly, he approached the central pile, where food of every sort was heaped in different states of freshness. A lot of it was already rotten, making Remus' nostrils feel violated and attempt to close themselves against the offensive smell. Sighing, he dug into his bag and threw everything edible within unto the pile. It would not do to get himself killed an hour into the mission.

Once he made sure everything was there, he threaded his way between the huddled werewolves and found himself a place near one of the walls of the dining hall, wrapped his tattered cloak around him and settled for a long watch. The mission brief firmly stated that he first had to observe the people around him before trying to find out where they stood in relation to Voldemort. And so he watched.

He watched for three days, making himself as inconspicuous as he possibly could while watching his surroundings, analyzing his fellow werewolves and biding his time. There were a few more residents in that shelter than what Fenwick's report had said: seventy eight, all in all, twenty nine females and forty nine males, not including himself. They never left the shelter, expect for guard duty, which was filled only by those whom the leaders could trust. The pack leaders, as they called themselves, were the two individuals who had lived with the Bite for the longest time. One of them was the person who had been on guard duty on the day Remus arrived. He was the Alpha male. His name was Kensington, and he was a vicious bastard that reveled in seeding fear in the hearts of his pack mates. He had built the shelter together with the Alpha female, who introduced herself as Cassandra. If Kensington was a bastard, she was nothing less than the Queen of Hell. Battered, abandoned by her family and then chased by them until she killed them all, she was in her late forties and the stuff of nightmares for every child that ever heard of werewolves. Strangely enough, she took Remus under her wing almost as soon as she heard his fabricated story.

Only once he felt secure enough in his position he began talking to the others, as though by chance, when taking his rations from the central pile (there were maggots in the bread and mould on the potato), when walking on guard duty (it was amazing what Cassandra's word meant there), or when picking a new place to sleep in the ground floor of the house (the upper storey was Cassandra and Kensington's). They all had very sad stories - of lost lovers and friends, of the Ministry's prejudice and of their incapability to lead a normal life. Remus could identify with a very small percent of those stories, and by the end of the first week there, he found himself sitting by himself, thinking how lucky he was to have his parents and his friends. He could not imagine living the lives these wretches led. It made him feel privileged, and at the same time ashamed of himself, for he was pretending to be one of them when in truth he was one hell of a lucky fellow indeed.

"Why so forlorn, John?" Cassandra's voice came from his right.

He looked up at her, startled. He had not heard her approaching. He had no problem understanding why Cassandra had become the Alpha female. Strong, self-possessed and cunning, she was another class of werewolf entirely. She knew how to walk silently and how to spot danger from miles away. She was vicious, not hesitating to take out any opposition that came her way. Many of those in the shelter bore the scars of going against her. The rumour said that she had killed quite a few of those who did just that. She hated humans with such a passion that Remus was afraid for any who would come her way. But she did not go looking for trouble. Her main priority was keeping herself - and her pack mates to some degree - safe. As long as the humans left her alone, she would not hunt for them.

"I was just thinking," he sighed.

She sat next to him, her shaggy mane of greying hair strangely reminding him of James' hair, spreading her long legs in front of her. "That much was obvious, my boy. Care to share it?"

"You'd probably want to take my head off for thinking along those lines," he said truthfully, "but have you ever considered that there may be humans who... _don't_ hate werewolves?" He instinctively cringed, waiting for her to roar at him and perhaps literally take his head off.

Instead, she burst out laughing. "Why would I take your head off for that? You're relatively new in this business, John. Ten years is _nothing_. When you have lived for thirty years with the Bite as I have, you will finally realize that there is no such thing as a werewolf-loving human." She barred her teeth at that in an unpleasant smile. "You will learn that for the humans, the only good werewolf is a dead one. No one cares for us wolves, John. Remember, whenever you have doubts about this again, it was the humans who invented the Werewolf Registry. They are the ones who decided to tag us and treat us as less than they are. They are the one who are prejudiced against us, and they are the ones who sign their own death verdict by turning us away."

What Remus saw in the older woman's eyes terrified him. He had never seen hatred so deep as when she spoke of humans. Not even the hate Severus Snape harboured for the Marauders could rival this. He feared what would have happened if any of his friends were to come in contact with her. They would surely die. Cassandra did not want to Bite in order to create new werewolves. She wanted to Bite in order to kill.

After talking to Cassandra he tried talking about the same subject with some of the others, but all responses were the same. No one wanted any contact with humans. In fact, Remus feared that if Voldemort would approach them, they would definitely take his side.

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It was near the end of his second, yet unsuccessful, week in the shelter when Kensington came into the house, looking elated. He immediately sought out Cassandra, and the two went up the stairs, one looking excited, and the other suspicious.

Remus did not know what possessed him to follow them, sticking to the shadows and treading as softly as he could up the rickety stairs, but later he would thank his luck for that potentially fatal impulse. Luckily for him, the pair was still in the upper story's corridor, and were not bothering to keep their voices down.

"-contacted by the Dark Lord himself!" Kensington said excitedly. "His messenger will be coming tomorrow morning to tell us what he has to offer. Imagine it, Cassandra! The riches! The fame! The _blood_! It will run thick down the streets of every human village and every human town! We will finally be able to avenge ourselves!"

Remus paled considerably at this. Voldemort's messenger was coming? _Now?_

"At what price?" Cassandra answered roughly. "At the price of becoming slaves? Of being his faithful hounds that he unleashes whenever he pleases? We are _wolves_, Kensington - not lapdogs! Have you no pride?!"

"You're not looking at this the right way!" he growled. "He's giving us the chance to take what is rightfully ours - to once again walk proudly under the sun - killing those who wronged us! This is what we were waiting for!"

"No! This is _not_ what we were waiting for! While I wouldn't mind ripping out the throats of some people, my priority is staying alive and keep the pack alive! _Have_ you no pride? We do our killing in our on time, by our own decision. What you suggest is folly!"

The Alpha male was clearly unhappy being called a fool.

"Don't you _dare_ insinuate that I am stupid, Cassandra! Remember who it was who brought you here! Remember who the true leader is! You will accept my judgment!"

"I refuse to bow down to anyone, Kensington!" Cassandra roared, her scarred face contorting into such a mask of rage that even the Alpha male stepped back in something resembling fear. "Least of all a coward who hides under hoods and masks! When Voldemort's-"

"The Dark Lord's," Kensington corrected, getting his spine back.

"When _Voldemort's_ servant comes here tomorrow, I will tell him just that," she continued, undeterred. "This is my final word on the subject! The day the wolves would bow to a mere human would be the day I will be buried six feet under!"

Awed at what he had just heard, Remus slunk back down the staircase and to his corner. No one had noticed he was gone. But even if they did, he could not care less. What he heard made him respect the vicious woman all the more. While she was definitely cruel and thought that werewolves should vindicate themselves upon normal humans, she did not believe Voldemort's cause was right. She did not differentiate between Muggles, pure-bloods, half-bloods and Muggle-born. They were all the same to her. She will not kill them for Voldemort, and she definitely would not lead them in an attack against humans.

If Cassandra would be the one leading the werewolves, then at least the Order could be calm about that danger. If Kensington would have the upper hand, however...

It was time to leave. If Voldemort's messenger would be coming the next day, Remus did not want to be there when they arrived. The last thing he needed was to be forcefully enlisted to the Dark Lord's ranks. Besides, Dumbledore had to know.

He made his excuses when Kensington informed them of the upcoming visit, saying he would be a servant to nobody, picked up his things and left the place. He thought he saw Cassandra looking at him in pride as he left, and felt guilty, knowing he was never a friend of hers.

Sighing as he looked back at the werewolf shelter which he was leaving behind, Remus felt bitterly disappointed. No matter what he said to convince the others that there were good people out there, they remained, all convinced that their best move would be to join forces with the Dark Lord that will allow them free range and a outlet for their violence on full moons. Even Cassandra would not hear of the possibility that not all humans were bad. They made Remus sick, but to be quite honest with himself, he did not blame them. Like the children he had met during the summer camp all those years ago, these men and women were shunned most of their lives, received no love, encountered no caring hand or friendly smile. Some of them had their own parents, spouses and children disown them. No wonder they considered their lives over.

He Apparated away, hoping to never set eyes on that miserable place ever again. He made his report to Dumbledore succinct and left Headquarters immediately.

Going back to his tiny, dusty room at Mrs. Lark's did not seem like such a good idea when he was in this mood. The mission had not been easy, and left him with a sour taste in his mouth. He never would have thought that people could be reduced to such a level of inhumanity, but the past two weeks had proven him wrong. Realizing he really did not want to be alone, he decided to make his way to Sirius' place. A quick count of the days told him that his friend should be home, having a few days off after completing a series of exhausting exercises at the Academy.

He Apparated to the familiar building, expecting some good company and stories of how things went for both of them. He expected to perhaps even find James there and hear how he and Lily were getting on. But it was not to be. No noise came from behind the door to the flat - no cheerful speech, no clanking of cutlery on plates, or even of the WWN on Sirius' old radio.

The door swung lightly at the merest touch of his hand. The door to Sirius' flat was not locked. This made Remus a little edgy. It was not a good time to leave your home open and not one ward in place. He started fearing for his friend's life, dreading what he might find. He knew he was most likely being paranoid, the Dark Mark not appearing above the building, but still. It was a hard time for everyone. Not all deaths were caused by Voldemort. There were freelancers out there.

Taking a deep breath, he made his way into the messy-as-always flat.

After taking a look in the living space and the bedroom, he walked into Sirius' kitchen. It was as untidy as it always was - with half-eaten foods slowly decaying on various surfaces, unclean dishes littering the counter, empty bottles of butterbeer or stronger stuff and clothes strewn everywhere like in the rest of the flat.

"Padfoot?" he called from the kitchen door, trying to see if somewhere under the mess was his friend.

A pile of clothes that he first thought to be dirty laundry stirred. Remus was surprised that he had not spotted the mop of black hair before.

Sirius, he quickly realized, was a complete mess. His clothes were filthy, as though he rolled around in the dirt, his hair unkempt and his face unshaven, the stubble pointing to several days of neglect. His face was pale and somewhat blotchy, and his eyes were red, as though he had been crying. Remus' heart froze in his chest. What could have happened _this_ time?

"Sirius?" he said softly, drawing nearer to his obviously distraught friend. "What is the matter?"

"I…" Sirius began with a croak before stopping to reconsider. "I take it that you haven't been to visit James yet." His voice was suddenly flat, as though he was trying to suppress his emotions.

"No, I just got back from… _there_. Sirius - has something happened to James? To Lily?"

Sirius shook his shaggy head. "Gavin Potter is dead."

Remus froze. "Voldemort?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

Again, Sirius shook his head. "He suddenly fell ill two weeks ago - just after you left. It deteriorated quickly, and then - we were sitting there and he was asleep and then - suddenly he wasn't breathing anymore…" His voice broke in sobs.

It should not have been such a great shock. Gavin Potter was an old man, after all. And yet… and yet, Remus always thought the Potters would live forever. No matter how old and frail the couple must have been, they were always so energetic and full of life.

And James-

"Oh, Merlin. How is James taking it?"

"Badly," Sirius said, wiping his eyes. "I spoke to Lily this morning. She said he's been crying all night and that this morning - he just got up and went to work as though nothing happened! He's bottling it up - I know he does - I'm afraid of what is going to happen once the pressure gets too high. He'll burst, and none of us wants to be around him when he does."

Sirius was right. Remus remembered all too well the time after Kelly's murder in their seventh year. It culminated with that awful fight of his with Lily, and none of them wanted a repeat of that. It had nearly destroyed the two's relationship forever.

"Have you been to see him since it happened?" he asked, trying to remain the rational one, though he wanted to find a place to cry himself. The elder Potters have always been kind to him, like their son, taking his problem to be just another illness, not to be taken too badly.

"No," Sirius said, his voice breaking. "Lily said it would be better that I won't for the time being. I came by to see how Laura was doing early this morning. She was just sitting there like a statue. I'm not even sure she completely grasped that he's no longer there."

Which was only to be expected, Remus thought sadly as he made his way out of Sirius' place some time later, having made his friend strong tea spiked with enough firewhiskey to put an elephant asleep and also made sure he was safely snoring in bed. Laura and Gavin had been married for over fifty years, having grown attached to one another long before they even had James, who was born very late into their marriage and life in general. Laura was probably deep in shock. He was not sure she should be left alone, and so, once he arrived at Mrs. Lark, still smelling of the shelter and of the alcohol he imbibed Sirius in, he floo-called Lily. His friend's red eyes told him she has also been crying, but she seemed calm enough as he explained the problem.

"I was just about to go there myself," she whispered, as though afraid of waking someone. "I just managed to make James drink some sleeping potion, and I think he'll be out for a few good hours, so I'll take advantage of it and go keep Laura company, make sure she's eating something."

"Want me to come along?"

She shook her head. "I really think I should go alone - you know, both as a woman and as family. But if you're willing to lend a hand - I'd be grateful if you stay here and keep an eye on James."

"Sure," he said. "Just let me take a quick shower and tell my parents I'm all right."

He did that, only in reverse order, thinking it was better to inform his parents first that he was alive after not being in touch for over two weeks. It was funny, really, how he rarely saw his parents these days. It was easier this way. No need to feel guilty as he lied to them about his financial status or about what he was doing between jobs. They really did not need to know that their son had spent the past two weeks holed up in a werewolf shelter as part of his duties to the Order in a war that his mother hoped beyond hope that he had nothing to do with.

As expected, both his parents were incredibly relieved to hear from him, and seemed to believe him when he told them he went on a camping trip with an old friend from Hogwarts that was not part of the Marauders. He himself thought it a lame story, for his parents should have remembered that aside of the Marauders he did not have true friends at school. When his mother asked him to come over for dinner, he sadly declined.

"James' dad passed away during the night," he explained. "I told Lily I'd come and stay with him while she went to see how his mother's doing."

"Oh, dear," Saffron said, putting a hand to her mouth. "Of course, Remus. You should go and help them as much as you can. I must say this doesn't come as a surprise, however."

"No, it doesn't," he agreed with her. "But it doesn't make it any easier to accept."

"It's never easy," she said softly, "but it is something that we have to live through and learn from."

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As Remus sat in the padded chair that was normally by Lily's vanity, watching as James tossed and turned, trying to fight off the sleeping potion, he pondered his mother's words. How can you live through the death of a loved one and what can you learn from it? That Man was mortal? Voldemort was proving this left and right. That Death is not something you can fight? This was a well-known fact already. How to face hardships? He had been through enough, thank you very much.

It was simply not fair. Why did James have to suffer through yet another's death?

He sighed and went back to the book he had brought along with him, wondering what was going on in Potter Manor.

A few hours later, Remus felt a hand stirring him out of the uneasy sleep he fell into unintentionally. Looking up, he saw Lily's haggard face and guessed that Laura was not better than before. Even her daughter-in-law's best attempts could not help.

"Sorry," he said groggily, knowing he failed on his watch. "I didn't mean-"

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry," Lily said. "I should have remembered you were just back from your mission. Go home, Remus. Get some sleep. I can keep James in check now."

Somewhat relieved, Remus did as told and went back to Mrs. Lark's. He was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow.

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The funeral took place the next day and was attended by too many people to count. Aurors - both old who have worked side by side with Gavin Potter and young, who had grown on the Potter myth - ministry workers, from junior clerks to the Minister herself, witches and wizards from the very top of society, and even Albus Dumbledore.

Remus stood in the front row with Peter and Sirius and with his parents in the row behind him. James was by the freshly dug grave, holding tightly unto his weeping mother with Lily on her other side. His friend's face was tight, as though he was fighting tears and trying to be strong for his mother's sake. When his turn to speak came, he relinquished his support for his mother entirely to Lily and stepped forward. When he spoke, his voice shook.

"My father was a strong man. A great man - both in name and in stature. He fought many battles with many Dark wizards, but was never defeated. The only one to prevail in a battle against him was illness. An unseen foe, creeping on him stealthily. There is no winning against this type of enemy - an enemy who hides and lurks and attacks from behind, never openly. My father was a strong man, and this is how I am going to remember him - the man who taught me how distinguish right from wrong and how to own up to whatever I did, be it something good or bad.

"This day I do not just burry my father. I am burying my hero, my friend and the person I always wanted to be like. But I will remember him. His memory will always be in me, a part of me. I will never forget."

By the time he finished his short speech, tears were flowing freely down James' cheeks, and behind him, his mother burst into a fresh wave of wailing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the first time in weeks it seemed as though something was going right for Remus. He managed once again to get a job, this time in a small flower shop that, despite being situated in Muggle London, sold the most amazing variety of magical plants. The owner, a little old lady who was near blind, doted over Remus as though he was her own grandson. She was so affectionate and kind that the young man truly feared the day that someone would point out to her that her new employee was in fact a werewolf.

He hoped he could keep this job for longer than usual.

He worked very hard on his first day, both in manual work such as lifting flower pots and carrying armfuls of bouquets, and also organizing Ms. Abingdon's chaotic filing system. All in all, he was quite happy with himself, if a tad tired.

He arrived at Mrs. Lark's in high spirits and just in time to be the first in the bathroom and therefore getting a hot shower. He made himself a quick sandwich and a cup of tea and then headed to his room, ready to enjoy a relaxing couple of hours in bed with a book before turning in for the night.

His plans for the evening were cut short, however, by someone calling his name.

"Mr. Lupin?" Mrs. Lark's voice came from downstairs. "You have a floo-call."

Yawning and stretching, Remus made his way to the ground floor, where he found his landlady standing by the fireplace, in which Sirius' head floated. It may have been just the greenish cast of the flames, but to Remus, his friend's face seemed haggard and sad.

"Padfoot," he acknowledged. "What is it?"

Looking closer, he could swear there were tear marks on Sirius' face. His heart froze in his chest. What could possibly have happened _this_ time? Glancing at Mrs. Lark, he said, "Thank you, Mrs. Lark. May I take this call privately?"

While the old woman sniffed, she did as asked and left the drawing room. Left alone, Remus nodded at Sirius to speak.

"Laura's gone, Moony," his friend managed to choke out.

Remus could not believe his ears. For a moment he just stared at the pale Sirius, a non-comprehending look in his eyes. "I'm sorry?" he finally said, sure he had heard wrong.

"She's dead. James found her in the South drawing room this morning when he came by to see how she was doing," the black-haired man said in a choked voice.

Remus shook his head in disbelief. Less than two weeks after losing his father, James had lost his mother as well. He could not imagine how his messy-haired friend was coping. James was so attached to his parents… His drifting attention went back to Sirius, who was laconically giving him the time and place for the funeral.

"And James? How is he doing?" Stupid question, really, but what was he supposed to say?

Sirius sighed deeply. "As well as you can imagine. Lily's doing her best, but I don't think it'll be much help."

The next day, Remus saw just how true Sirius' words were. The crowd that arrived for Laura Potter's funeral was just as large as the one that arrived for her husband's only a fortnight before, and just as sad, if not more so. As for James, there was nothing left in him. No more tears, no more strength. Remus, standing slightly to the young man's left, could see that only Lily's arm, wrapped around his waist, kept him standing. His face was hollow, there was no emotion left there - almost as though he had been administered the Dementor's Kiss. When he was asked to come and say a few words he choked and could not utter a word. Lily had to do the talking for him, and even her voice was choked with unshed tears. This time she had to be the strong one.

After the funeral was done and over with, and the mourners all departed to their homes, the Marauders helped James close up the manor. They did not completely understand why he did not want to live there, now that it was empty, but they all guessed the reason. They slowly went from room to room, sealing it against dust and intruders with magic. They left the kitchens untouched, so that the house-elves could continue to live and prosper there without interruption. James did not have the heart to free them. The last place they sealed was the drawing room where the picture of James' parents, drawn by him so long ago, was hanging over the fireplace.

"They loved you very much, James," Remus said softly as he stood slightly behind James. His friend was standing motionless at the door, staring at the portrait of the two people he would never see again in his life. "Try to cherish the time you had together."

"You mean forget it?" James said bitterly. "Forget that they are gone?"

"Never that," he replied, shaking his head. "Just remember the love they had for you and you for them whenever you feel it's too much. It... helps."

"I never thought that they would die one day, you know?"

There was nothing Remus could say to that. If he was quite honest himself, he had never thought about his parents dying either. It was just something one did not think about his parents. _Ever_. And so, all he could do was watch silently as tears streamed down his friend's cheeks, and offer him what comfort he could with his presence.

**So sad... but it had to happen, seeing as Harry doesn't have other relatives than the Dursleys... I hope you liked the part with Remus' mission. There will be more of Cassandra, Kensington and the rest in the future, to those who thought it too brief...**

**So what will we have in the next chapter? More trouble - this time on Sirius' end - paint fights (do you **_**really**_** want to know?), and what on earth is going on with Peter? All this and more - probably not next week, but I can give it a go :)**

**Thanks to all of you and I'll see you on the next update!**

**-Star of the North**


	41. Grim Fate

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Oh, _my_! Star of the North came back from the dead! Kidding. But yes, I'm back, with good news for those who are still interested in reading this story to its end (which is about nine chapters from now…).

I suppose I should start with apologies (**those who do **_**not**_** want to hear me ramble should skip this part, but it should give you a bit of an insight concerning the next few chapters**). _Anyway_, the reason why this update was delayed so badly is because, frankly, the last ten chapters of this story are rather dark and rather interwoven, and I didn't want to write something in Chapter 42 only to remember I needed to add something there that alludes to something that happens in Chapter 47 or something along those lines.

Also, these had been the hardest chapters of a story I've ever written. So dark and gloomy ((shudders)) – though worry not! Enough humourous and fun moments are in there as well (as much as I could, anyway). So! Welcome to the last stretch of this story.

**And now for the good news!** Seeing as I've taken so long to finish all ten chapters before I update, the story is finally complete, and therefore this story, for the next five weeks, will be updated twice a week – Sunday and Wednesday!

**Lastly**, to all those people who along those months reviewed and urged me to update as soon as possible: THANK YOU. I may have not answered to all of you, but your reviews had been read and appreciated!

Now – Enjoy! But before that, I've been advised in the past that if I take long breaks, I should give a little recap, so here you go:

_After the funeral was done and over with, and the mourners all departed to their homes, the Marauders helped James close up the manor. They did not completely understand why he did not want to live there, now that it was empty, but they all guessed the reason. They slowly went from room to room, sealing it against dust and intruders with magic. They left the kitchens untouched, so that the house-elves could continue to live and prosper there without interruption. James did not have the heart to free them. The last place they sealed was the drawing room where the picture of James' parents, drawn by him so long ago, was hanging over the fireplace._

_"They loved you very much, James," Remus said softly as he stood slightly behind James. His friend was standing motionless at the door, staring at the portrait of the two people he would never see again in his life. "Try to cherish the time you had together."_

_"You mean forget it?" James said bitterly. "Forget that they are gone?"_

_"Never that," he replied, shaking his head. "Just remember the love they had for you and you for them whenever you feel it's too much. It... helps."_

_"I never thought that they would die one day, you know?"_

_There was nothing Remus could say to that. If he was quite honest himself, he had never thought about his parents dying either. It was just something one did not think about his parents. Ever. And so, all he could do was watch silently as tears streamed down his friend's cheeks, and offer him what comfort he could with his presence._

**Chapter Forty One - Grim Fate**

Thankfully enough, James, who in recent years was not the world's champion in successfully bouncing back, seemed to get over his parents' subsequent deaths pretty well. Though it became quite commonplace to see him sad and a little distant, the fact that Lily was by his side made it easier for him to handle, and soon enough he was smiling and laughing again. Remus was quite sure that some of it was still a show, but he hoped that with Lily's and the Marauders' help, his friend would heal.

In fact, it was rather sooner than later that he discovered just how well Lily could help James along that path.

Lily was crazy. That was what Remus decided when he arrived at the Potters' place early one Sunday morning. He opened the door only to stub his toe on a heavy bucket of paint that was right in front of it. After softly cursing, he looked up to see that the entire space that consisted of his friends' sitting room was full of more buckets of paint, brushes, old _Daily Prophet_s, moist towels and bowls of water. And in the middle of all this mess, were Lily and James, laughing and spraying one another with lilac-coloured paint.

After a wet spray narrowly missed him, Remus called to catch their attention. "What on earth are you _doing_?" he demanded, making the two stop dead in what they were doing. They both had the decency to look somewhat sheepish at being caught at their game.

Looking at Lily and then at him, James said, "Why, painting the flat, of course." And then they burst out laughing again.

It took them five minutes to grow calm enough again to explain to Remus what exactly went on in their minds before he arrived to interrupt their fun. As it turned out, Lily woke up at the crack of dawn that morning with the insane urge to redesign their home (how much of an urge it was, Remus wondered). And so, six o'clock found the couple already on their way to shop for everything they needed. It was barely nine, and they were already at work - though work had become a game once Lily dumped her paint-laden brush on James' head. That was the point in which Remus found them, scattering paint all around.

Knowing he would not be allowed to leave now without joining in, Remus removed his jacket and joined the chaos with a sigh, mourning the loss of good clothes.

Some time later, Lily went to the kitchen to make them some sandwiches, waving away James' suggestion to come and help, saying that they should start on the bedroom if they wanted to finish by evening. The bedroom was to be painted pale yellow, which was the very bucket Remus had stubbed his toe on. Together they carried it to the room Lily and James slept in, and started covering the floor with newspapers against the onslaught of paint that would soon come, since Lily and James were so fond of spraying each other with it. The room's furniture had already been vacated (to where, was what Remus wondered), and it was all ready to be painted.

It was good to see James so happy and carefree. But Remus should have known that lately, whenever things seemed to be picking up again, life had the tendency to get more complicated all over again. He did not know if it was simply bad luck on the Marauders' part, or perhaps just the times, which were dangerous by themselves.

This time bad luck made its strike on Sirius' side.

The letter from Sirius came for James as he and Remus were halfway through the second layer of paint, and Lily was just starting on the bathroom. The message was only composed of three words and was scribbled on a bit of parchment that looked to have been torn out of the corner of a Ministry memo.

_Can you come?_

"Wonder what he wants," James said, puzzled. "Want to come with me? I don't want you slave-labouring for Lily while I'm not here, and I know you're too polite to say no."

Remus shrugged. "I don't terribly mind, but I have to say I'm curious as to what's going on with Sirius. He's been awfully distracted of late. You think something happened between him and Keira? Has she said anything to you?"

James shook his head. "Not a word. Then again, I haven't exactly been myself lately, either. Haven't been around much for any of you. But I doubt it's that. If there was a problem with my darling cousin, Sirius would have had a St Mungo's Healer send the letter for him seeing as he would have had his fingers broken and his bits hexed off. Wait just a second, though. I'll tell Lily we're going and that we'd finish the walls later."

They arrived at Sirius' flat ten minutes later, not bothering to knock. They knew Sirius rarely locked the door when he was home. The place was well-warded against Dark magic, and Muggles did not concern him while he was around. They found him in the living space, staring blankly at that morning's _Daily Prophet_ - the same edition that covered the floor of James and Lily's bedroom. He did not even flinch when they entered, appearing to be in complete shock.

The broken shards of a large, red mug were strewn on the floor by his feet, and a cold puddle of coffee was slowly soaking into the threadbare rug. It seemed to have been there for quite some time. The quill which he must have used to write the message to James was on the sitting area table, dry ink on the tabletop, having been trailed there as he put down the feather carelessly.

"Padfoot?" James asked without preamble, frowning slightly. "What are you looking at?"

Sirius handed him the paper he was staring at, still without a word, and Remus hurriedly came to James' side and read over his shoulder. It took him a moment to realize what bothered Sirius that much. At the very corner of the front page of the _Prophet_ was a very bad picture of Regulus Black from his school days, grimacing at the camera, with a small headline in block letters above it.

_**MANGLED BODY OF DEATH EATER FOUND NEAR WARWICK**_

"Was it one of our people?" James asked gently, putting the paper down without reading further.

Sirius shook his head, his face empty. "They say it was Voldemort - or one of his people, anyway. I don't think Regulus would have amounted enough in the bastard's eyes for him to kill him himself. The Dark Mark was floating over the place where he was found. That's how they located it in the first place."

"Why?"

Sirius shrugged, expressionless. "No idea. Maybe he chickened out. Maybe he just pissed off old Snake-Face one time too many. Merlin knows he had a knack of doing just that ever since I can remember, and Voldemort isn't known to be the most stable of people. There's no way of telling, really." His voice was monotonous, and his unblinking eyes made Remus even more uneasy than before.

Both he and James silently took places on either side of their friend, neither knowing what to say or do.

They stayed silent for a while before Sirius spoke again. When he did, he did not look in their direction, but stared adamantly at the bright wall of his living space.

"I went to see him the other day," he said laconically.

"Sirius!" James breathed in alarm. "You should know better than that! He's a Death Eater! Brother or not - he could have gotten you killed! I thought we agreed on that!"

"I haven't seen him in a while, and I was hoping… I didn't go as myself, James," Sirius replied in pain. "I went as Padfoot. Do you remember that time in fifth year, right after I managed to complete the transformation, when we spooked him out of his wits? He saw me when I came. You don't… you don't think that… seeing me got him killed?"

"Sirius-"

"No! I mean, one day he sees me as a Grim, and the other he turns up dead!"

"Padfoot," James sighed, "you can't keep blaming yourself over things as stupid and unbelievable as these. Regulus had chosen a dangerous side-occupation - just like you, and Remus, and Peter, and Lily and I. Death is not something to be trifled with in our business, nor was it so in his. He had made his choice and this is where the road led him. You did what you could for him and nothing more, which is as it should be."

Sirius shook his head angrily. "No! I did _not_ do everything I could! I could have been there for him! I could have supported him and helped him stand against Mother and Father and their pressure on him to be the perfect little pure-blood! That was what I _should_ have done - but instead I ran away, leaving him alone to contend with those two maniacs that we were forced to call parents. What kind of brother does that?!"

"A brother who knew that there was nothing to be done," James said sternly. "Regulus was already corrupted beyond recall when you left home. Otherwise you wouldn't have left him. You knew, deep in your heart, the hard truth. That your parents' hold on him would forever be stronger than yours. There was nothing you could have done. Regulus had chosen his path a long time ago. He could have gone in your footsteps, but instead he chose to follow the course of life your parents dictated for him. It was his choice and his choice alone."

James' hard words hit home. Sirius stared at him for a moment before burying his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with dry sobs.

If Remus ever thought seeing James crying was disconcerting, then seeing _Sirius_ cry was downright _frightening_.

This was a man without regrets. A man who did everything without once looking back. For all the years Remus had known Sirius he never once doubted the course he had chosen for his life. This was truly something new to behold.

For a moment James sat motionless, hand hovering, uncertain, about an inch or so over Sirius' head, and then he sighed, placing it over their friend's shoulder. He said nothing. Nothing _could_ be said. They had to let Sirius take it all out himself before he would be ready to talk some more.

It took a while. Long enough for Remus to go into the kitchen, find the pot of tea and three cups, rinse them thoroughly (twice), boil the water and make the tea, find the milk and discovering it had turned rancid, go down to the closest grocer's, buy fresh milk, get back and then make a new pot since the first one had already gone cold. By the time he entered the living space again with a tray of tea and a few biscuits he managed to uncover, Sirius seemed a little calmer.

"Why did you go to him, Padfoot?" James asked gently. "I thought you said you were cutting all ties with him."

"I know, I know…" Sirius sighed. "I also know it was stupid, Prongs, but… Ever since my father died last year I've been trying to keep an eye on him from time to time, see how he's getting along, you know?"

Sirius' father had died? Remus did not know that. Then again, he did not have enough money for a _Daily Prophet_ subscription, and Sirius never talked about his family anymore. In fact, this must be the first time in _years_ that his friend talked so freely about the house he had left years before.

"My father was never really a… well, a father-figure for us, but Regulus adored him. Maybe not as much as he adored _Mother dear_, but close enough. I just… I just wanted to see that he was doing fine…"

"That's all right, Padfoot," James said softly. "He was still your brother. No one blames you for wanting to see him. I wish you'd have told me, so there'd be backup in case something went wrong, but I don't think you did anything wrong."

"I'm sure not everyone would see it like that," Sirius said tiredly. "You have to admit it doesn't look good. Going to see a known Death Eater. True, I haven't been in direct contact with him for over two years, but I was in his vicinity several times… I even went to the funeral, you know? Polyjuiced myself and everything, but I did go, and I could _see_ there was something wrong with Regulus. And still I couldn't do anything…" He sighed. "Thank you for coming, you two. I just… I needed to let it out, is all. I'm sure Lily's waiting for you to come back. I'll be fine now. Really." He managed to crack a smile as he shepherded them to the door.

They both tried to protest several times, but it was clear to both of them that now, after he had let a bit of steam out, he needed to be alone and think things over for himself. Still, Remus was not quiet of heart as the door closed behind them

"I'm not so sure I want to leave him all alone like that," he said softly as they descended the stairs. "I'm afraid he might do something drastic."

"Like go and hunt for the Death Eaters who did it?" James asked with a raised eyebrow. "I think he grew up a little since school, don't you? Either way, we have to give him time to get over it himself. We can't hover around him like that. He needs time, and time is what we're going to give him."

If only things were that simple.

The very next day, Remus received summons to come to the Order Headquarters. He arrived a little before the given time and found that most of the members thought along the same lines. Most of them were already there, waiting for Dumbledore to finally arrive. The Potters were standing next to Dorcas Meadows and Marlene McKinnon, both looking sombre, but smiled as he waved to get their attention and made his way towards them.

"Any idea what this is all about?" he asked. "Where are Sirius and Peter, anyway?"

"Haven't arrived yet," Lily replied, "and no one seems to know what's going on. I suppose that if someone was hurt then Dumbledore would have just told us." She glanced about the room. "You don't think Sirius is going to skip this gathering, do you? From what James told me, he's not in any state to come socializing – even if Dumbledore _did_ summon a meeting."

But her fears were unfounded, because minutes later the door opened to admit a rather dishevelled Sirius, whose red-rimmed eyes were rather easy to spot. He muttered his hellos, and remained in the shadow of his friends, not wanting to speak to anyone, not even to them. It was obvious that he had not come there willingly.

"Good, good," a voice stopped all private conversations around the room. "I see almost all of us are here, so we might as well begin." Dumbledore swept inside, eyes alert and tone businesslike. "Settled down please so that-"

The sound of running feet cut him off and the door burst open, revealing a very out-of-breath Peter Pettigrew. "Sorry," he managed through deep breaths. "Sorry I'm late."

"That is quite all right, Peter. Do take a seat."

Breathing heavily, the man headed for the seat saved for him by the Marauders and Lily. He slumped into it and put his head between his knees, trying to regain his breath in a less noisy fashion.

"Where've you been, Wormtail?" James whispered.

"Got stuck at work," the other replied, finally straightening.

Seeing the latecomer had settled down, Dumbledore nodded and started speaking.

"As I'm sure most of you have seen in yesterday's _Daily Prophet_, Sirius' brother, Regulus Black, had been killed by Voldemort."

Next to Remus, Sirius froze in his seat, staring at Dumbledore without blinking, taken completely by surprise. This was possibly the last thing he – or any of them for that matter – would have thought to be the reason for this gathering. This had also occurred to the others around them, who started muttering in low voices. There were many frowns around, all wondering why should they care about the Death of one of Voldemort's men.

Dumbledore called for silence.

"If I may continue? While the death of a Death Eater should not usually bother us as those who oppose them, the circumstances of this death are a little…" he seemed to hesitate, "suspicious." He paused for a while, seemingly recollecting his thoughts, before continuing again. "As some of you must have heard, when Regulus' body was found, the Dark Mark was found hovering over it - clear sign that this was not, in fact, the doing of one of our own. Another clear fact is that they _wanted_ us to find his body. My own opinion is that they thought he was working for our side - a spy, of sorts. Since I know for a fact that this is not true, I want to know why.

"Why was Regulus Black suspected to be a spy? Why would Voldemort even consider the idea? I want to know why his body was left there for certain – why Voldemort thought it necessary to share this death with us when every other Death Eater suspected of treachery is deposed of quietly.

"The reason why I asked you all to come here is because this is too… sketchy to send one or a couple of you to find out the answers to these questions, and so I want all of you to be aware of them, and, if you happen to find those answers, know that they are important.

"Now, on to other matters…"

All throughout the meeting Sirius was in a horrible state. His hands clenched and unclenched repeatedly, his face was pale and he stared at Dumbledore as if he wanted to wrap his hands around the old man's throat and squeeze. He looked practically murderous.

Not that Remus particularly blamed him. The man just had the shock of his life, and Dumbledore was just continuing to other matters as if nothing had happened. No one except for the Marauders and Lily seemed to notice that there was something wrong with the young man. They all knew his brother had been a Death Eater. It did not come as a surprise and did not change whatever opinions they had already formed concerning Sirius. Either they thought he was trustworthy or they did not.

At long last the meeting was over, and everyone started going their separate ways, when Remus noticed a silent scuffle going on between James and Sirius. James had Sirius in a death grip, whispering urgently to Sirius, who was trying to tear himself free at any cost, twisting and turning and moving his head from one side to another in a childish attempt not to hear what James was saying.

"Sirius, you can't-" James started in a stronger voice, trying desperately to renew his slipping hold on Sirius, but the other young man was taller, more solid, and certainly much more desperate.

"No!" he finally managed to tear out of his friend's grip and shouldered his way through the exiting crowd towards Dumbledore, who watched his approach with grave, tired eyes.

"Why did you have to go and make general knowledge of it?" the young man shouted at the old Headmaster. "Do you get some sort of perverse pleasure from making my private life a public matter?" There was fury in his voice and the bare hint of tears in his eyes. Above all, it seemed as though he could not believe their former Headmaster would do such a thing to him. Remus could have told him otherwise.

"You have no idea how sorry I am for your loss, Sirius," Dumbledore softly said, "but the Order had to know. The matter of Regulus' death _is_ suspicious, no matter how you look at it. We need to try and find out why Voldemort wants us to know he had had him killed. This is the only way-"

"You could have left it be," Sirius whispered, his voice cracking. "You could just leave it alone."

Behind Sirius, James came softly, wrapping an arm around their friend's shoulders. Sirius was now sobbing again, his dark hair falling, obscuring his face. Over his head, James grimly spoke to the Headmaster. "I'm sorry for his outburst, Albus, but you really should have told him what you had planned. He's trying not to grieve as it is, and this just made it one bit more difficult. We'll try and get that information you want for you, but please, from now on, leave Sirius out of it."

With a curt nod at the sad-looking old man, James guided Sirius away from the room, closely followed by the other two Marauders and Lily.

"Hey, Moony," Peter whispered, nudging him, as they walked some distance behind the other three, "I don't want to seem like an insensitive pig right now, but I have to go to Mum's for a bit – she needs help with some flesh-eating creeper that got into her roses and she can't seem to find her copy of _Common Carnivorous Flora_. So could you tell the others I'm really sorry but had to go?"

"Yeah, sure," Remus said with a sad smile. "But I imagine Sirius isn't going to miss any of us at the moment."

"Yeah, well. Thanks, mate. See you 'round, yeah?"

"Of course."

And then Peter dashed away for the Apparition point. He really was in a hurry. The infestation in the mother's garden must be great.

Hurrying after the Potters and Sirius, he discovered they stopped short of the door leading out of Headquarters. They seemed to be waiting for him. Lily was holding Sirius' hand gently. The man seemed quite oblivious to his surroundings.

"Where did Wormtail go?" James wondered aloud. "We just saw him hurrying past."

"The creepers are in Mrs. Pettigrew's garden again," Remus supplied the explanation. "Had to go straight home."

"Oh, well. Lily and I are going to try and cheer Padfoot up, Moony. What to join us?"

Something told Remus that he probably should not, and glancing at Lily, he realized that she, too, was planning on fading into the background once James got Sirius settled somewhere. If Sirius needed anyone's company at the moment, it was James'. Therefore, Remus smiled sadly and shook his head. "No, I think I'd better not. Anyway, I need to get a little shopping done in Diagon Alley before I turn in for the night – I need potion ingredients and the like. I'll come by 'round Monday or something, all right?"

"All right. You know we're always happy to see you." Then James clapped him on the shoulder and continued then to wrap his arm around Sirius' shoulders again and lead him away, out of the door, Remus following closely behind.

Sadly, he watched them until they turned a corner and disappeared from sight. As suspicious as Regulus' death may have been, he did not really agree with Dumbledore's decision to lay it in the open and then pick that fresh wound in Sirius' heart until it bled again.

Coming out of the apothecary a few hours later, Remus was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar face. Pleasantly, because after all, it was Peter, and it is always good to meet friends unexpectedly. Surprised, because he had only said goodbye to Peter, who was in a hurry to help his mother, and was certainly not expecting to see him there, glancing this way and that and looking quite ill-at-ease. His eyes went this way and that so quickly, in fact, that he did not even notice Remus approaching him.

"Wormtail?" Remus called, making the other man jump in alarm.

"What?! Oh. Moony. Sorry. Wasn't expecting to see you here."

"In Diagon Alley?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrow. "What's wrong, Wormtail? You seem a bit edgy."

"What? Ah, no," his friend gave him a nervous grin. "No. Just had a hard time getting rid of those creepers. Mum failed to mention that they were of the Parthenocissus Veneficus type. Not to mention my boss sitting on my arse, demanding to see results that wouldn't come 'round for two weeks yet. A bit distraught, you know?"

"Tell me about it," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "My boss just decided I should do nightshift for the next week or so. Wouldn't take no for an answer – even though I told him I'm more of a morning person. So what are you doing here? Getting some shopping done for your mum in addition to getting rid of her household pests?"

"N…no," Peter stuttered, anxiously looking behind Remus' shoulder. "Not this time. I'm actually waiting for someone, but I think I see him, so I'll say my goodbyes now, eh, Moony?"

"Umm. Okay," Remus said, somewhat bewildered. Peter was behaving unlike himself. It seemed as though he was almost eager to get rid of Remus. Following his hurrying friend with his eyes, he thought he saw him starting to speak with someone with a distinctly feminine figure. His frown melted, his face breaking into a smile.

It seemed as though little Peter Pettigrew had finally found himself a girlfriend.

Now, had he been Sirius or even James, Remus would have grinned evilly at that point and sneakily followed his friend around Diagon Alley, see who the girl was and why exactly he was trying to hide his relationship with her from the other Marauders. Seeing as he was _not_, in fact, one of his two wilder friends, he simply continued grinning as he finished his shopping and returned to his little room in Mrs. Lark's boarding house. He would keep this quiet from Sirius and James. When Peter felt like sharing his little secret, then he would mention seeing him with her before. Until then, Remus would keep his mouth shut.

**Well, I hope that wasn't a disappointment, but really, it was more of a filler chapter than anything – but action's coming! After all – Lily and James have yet to meet Voldemort for a third time, Harry is yet to have been born, and there's still a lot more to come in the last nine chapters of this story!**

**So what will we have in the next chapter? Christmas (I swear I hadn't timed it to fall right on Christmas – I just noticed it this moment!) – and what is this about Petunia and Vernon about to become parents? Oh, and trouble! Lots and lots of trouble…**

**All this and more – in **_**Guilt of the Living**_**!**

**Please review, tell me what you think, and I'll see you all on Wednesday!**

**-Star of the North**


	42. Guilt of the Living

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Hello, hello, everyone! Welcome to the second update of the last stretch of my story. Not much to say here, this time, except to thank whoever reviewed, or added me or my story to their favourites, and ask of you who read this and enjoy it – please drop me a line, 'kay? If you have the time and have something to say about the story, please do :) Even if it's criticism (as long as it's constructive and not just bashing the story for the fun of it…), it will be well-received.

Enjoy!

**Chapter Forty Two - Guilt of the Living**

It was nearing Christmas and it seemed as though things were starting to get back to normal. Sirius bounced back as was only expected, with the help of James and Keira – the first to cheer him up, and the second to keep him busy. Together the cousins managed the task spectacularly. In fact, Remus was beginning to wish their friend would have remained a little more withdrawn once the week before Christmas started, and every time he met his friend, the man insisted on singing medleys of Christmas songs incredibly off-key. It seemed as though Sirius' singing, instead of getting better, only got worse over the years.

Remus came by the Potters' flat one day after work, as was his wont at least once a week, to find James alone there, somewhat moodily decorating a magnificent Christmas tree with baubles and tinsels, using his wand to place them where he wanted them.

"Where's Lily?" Remus asked after greeting his friend.

"Visiting her parents," James said grumpily. "Left me to do all the heavy work."

"Decorating is heavy work?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, but pushing a bloody giant of a Christmas tree up to a fourth floor flat in a mostly Muggle environment _is_ heavy work," he grumbled. "Anyway, she hasn't been herself, so I'm not about to begrudge her wanting to spend some time with her parents, but she could at least help me bring it upstairs…"

Remus guessed there was more to it, but wisely kept his mouth shut and helped James put the boxes of decorations away before they headed to the kitchen together for a cup of tea.

"You look tired, Prongs," he said quietly.

"Overworked," James said with a small smile. "I rarely get more than four hours of sleep a night anymore. Especially if I want to spend some time with Lily every day."

"Do you manage it?"

James looked outraged. "Who do you think you're talking to, Moony? I'm the bloke who managed to combine Quidditch captaincy, Head Boy-ship and Maraudership together with being a devoted boyfriend – _all at the same time_. 'course I manage it."

They both laughed and Remus was happy to see that James' mood was clearing.

"How about we do something together?" he suggested. "The Marauders, I mean. It's been a while, no? We used to go out together all the time when we just left Hogwarts. We can go to a pub or just hang out – it'll be like old times."

"I don't know, Moony," James said ruefully, scratching his head. "Lily's been acting awfully weird lately, and I'm kind of afraid of leaving her alone. She's been more temperamental than usual."

More temperamental than usual? Lily? Now that was definitely something for James to worry about. Perhaps she thought he was not dedicating her enough of his time – or perhaps that he was trying too much?

"Did you _ask_ her if anything was wrong?"

"'course I did. She snaps at me that she's fine and will I please leave her be."

"There you have it, then. Get out of her hair for a night; let her have some time on her own. Maybe set something up with the other girls. Maybe then she'll be ready to tell you what's bothering her. She probably just thinks you're a little too suffocating."

James seemed highly insulted by that, but shrugged. "I suppose you're right, Moony. You were always the one to understand feminine feelings best…All right, then. Let's set it up. I'll talk to Padfoot tomorrow – I'm due at the Academy anyway – and you try getting hold of Wormtail. I swear, that bloke's harder to pin down than an eel, lately."

"He's just busy at work," Remus said loyally, pushing the image of Peter's possible girlfriend to the back of his mind. "Just like all of us."

"Yeah, I suppose so. Ask him when he's free. Let's aim for the week after Christmas, yeah?"

"Sure. Are you spending the holiday at home?"

"Pfft. I _wish_. Marcia and David have invited us for Christmas Eve and insist that we stay there for Christmas day as well."

"Don't see what's so bad about it," Remus said gently. "You always celebrated Christmas with your family, James. I think it's good that you're going to continue doing that – even if the David and Marcia aren't your parents."

James did not look bothered by Remus mentioning his parents. Instead, he proceeded to explain _why_, precisely, Christmas was not going to be a happy occasion.

"_Carolling_, Moony. With _Petunia and Vernon_, for Merlin's sake! Spending two whole _days_ with them! I'm going to go crazy – both from trying to continue smiling as they hurl one insult after the other at Lily and me, and from trying to resist hexing them to hell and back, _and_ from trying to keep _Lily_ from breaking their bloody necks! This is going to be the most horrible Christmas I've had in a while…"

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Lily and James came back from Christmas at the Evans home, swearing to never do it again. Petunia and Vernon were apparently particularly nasty on that occasion, since, from what Remus gathered when his friends were finally calm enough to speak rationally and without cussing every second word, they had revealed to the family that Petunia was pregnant with the couple's first child.

"Can't imagine _her_ being a mother," Lily muttered darkly. "Any child of hers and Vernon's would grow to be a pathetic little creature." She seemed very much obsessed with the idea of her sister being pregnant, going back to the subject every time James managed to stir the conversation away from it. Exchanging glances, he and Remus decided to let her be.

All in all, the redheaded young woman seemed rather fine with the idea of James hanging out with his friends for one night, leaving her alone to brood on whatever it was that ate at her. James was a little reluctant to leave her in such a foul mood, but after she threatened to lock him out if he would not go, he sighed and set the date.

And so the Marauders, after a very long time not meeting all together, were congregated in Sirius' flat, ready for a night of men only. Sirius had prepared, before their arrival, immense amounts of alcohol - both wizard and Muggle - fat-oozing snacks and - just in case they got hungry - big slabs of steak in the refrigerator. It was strictly men-only. Girlfriends and wife banned.

"What's going on with you these days, Wormtail?" James asked, swirling the golden Muggle beer in his cup. "When we set to plan this meeting you could only come on two nights out of seven."

"I'll tell you what's going on," Peter said sourly. "Office is going on. They find it convenient to throw all the extra-annoying jobs on _me_, because I'm the most junior clerk there. Talk about frustrating. Can't complain too much, though. Pay's good enough to keep me afloat and then some. I might be able to leave Mum's place in a few more months."

"Hear, hear," Sirius said, raising his cup. "A worthy cause all by itself!"

Remus smiled to himself, but inside he had to suppress a cringe. Even Peter, who (if he was honest with himself and did not try to be modest) was much less smart than Remus and almost without skill, was succeeding in the world outside Hogwarts. Only he was left behind, barely able to afford even his modest lodgings. He quenched that feeling. Now was not the time to think over such things. The Marauders were together again and it was time to enjoy themselves.

Naturally, after a while their conversation brought them to nostalgic days, namely their Hogwarts days.

"I really miss pulling pranks, you know?" James said, sighing. "I mean, I do pull little ones on Lily and slightly bigger ones on Keira, but it's not the same, you know? I miss doing all our grand schemes against the entire school and staff. There's nothing as fun these days. No more grand adventures."

"We still have the full moons," Sirius reminded him.

"That's true, but not all of us can be there every full moon, now. Last full moon I had to go for dinner at Lily's parents', and the one before that it was only me because Peter had to take care of his mum and you were out on a mission. Even that isn't the same."

"Well," Remus said, "when we reach a point when _I_ can't be around during full moon because of a previous engagement, _then_ we'll know we're in trouble."

This brought around a bout of laughter, which immediately returned the atmosphere to the easy one that had been there before.

Sirius was just saying that he was hungry and offered to prepare his Emergency Steaks that were patiently waiting in the refrigerator, when there was an urgent knock on the door. Frowning, James, who was closest to the door, got up and looked through the peeping glass set in the door. His frown turned into surprise and he opened the door to reveal a very agitated Lily.

"James, I need to talk to you," she said the moment the door opened. There was something in her voice - half-panicked, half-ecstatic - that made Remus pay close attention to what she said next. "Right now."

"What-" James started. "Couldn't it wait for me to get home?" Apparently, he did not pick up on the tone underlining Lily's words. His own voice sounded worried.

"No!" she said vehemently. "Because, had I waited for you to come home it would have been long after midnight, and by that time I'd be a pack of nerves and I'd burst out crying!"

Had Remus been included in the conversation, and not eavesdropping, he would have commented that Lily was already a pack of nerves, and by the slightly hysterical undertone that now laced her words, she was already on the verge of crying. Fortunately enough, he had _not_ been included, thus sparing himself a black eye.

"All right, we can talk," James said, this time picking up on her tone. "Let's go to the kitchen and you can tell me whatever it is."

"No," she said firmly. "Let's go out to the corridor. I don't want anyone else to hear."

For a moment Remus could swear that she had glanced his way, but he dismissed it, thinking he had imagined it.

"What is so secretive that you can't say it here, Lily?" James asked, just loud enough for Remus to catch it. "They can't possibly hear us from all the way here."

Lily's eyes looked halfway between murderous and amused. "And have you forgotten that at least one of your friends possesses inhuman hearing?" she asked sweetly, also loud enough for Remus to hear, making him quickly avert his eyes in an attempt to look innocent. Then he almost laughed at himself for his futile act. Lily knew well enough that he was eavesdropping. She spent more than eight years in company of the Marauders. She knew them best.

"Oh, come on, Lily. Just say it."

"Fine!" she snapped. "I wanted this to be private, but since you're being so thick-headed, have it your way! I'M PREGNANT!"

The last two words were shouted so that the three Marauders sitting on the other side of the room could clearly hear it. For a moment all in the room were frozen: Lily with her hand brought to her mouth as though she did not believe she had shouted them, James, his eyes wide, trying to process what had been said, the Marauders all with their own unique ways of showing their shock - Peter with his mouth dropping open, Remus blinking rapidly, and Sirius...

Sirius looked about ready to burst into tears of mirth. His lips were tightly pressed together, his mouth crooked in a heroic attempt to keep it shut, his entire body shaking with the effort to stop himself from laughing out loud.

Finally, James broke the silence.

"I'm... I'm... I'm going to be a _father_!" he let out.

Remus could not quite make up his mind if James was ecstatic about it or completely and utterly panicked. The way his face was contorted, though, he guessed it was the latter. He felt a bubble of laughter fighting its way up to his mouth. Sirius, on the other hand, finally gave up all pretences and started laughing outright, loudly and without shame.

For a moment James looked practically insulted, but after a second or two he seemed to realise the ridiculousness of the situation and started to smile, the panic leaving his eyes. Little by little, his smile grew larger until, finally, he joined Sirius' laughter, only his was joyous, and in the middle of laughing, he picked up the somewhat irate Lily, and twirled around with her in his arms.

"I'm going to be a father! We're going to have a baby!"

And at that moment, Remus truly knew what happiness was. The tears both James and Lily were shedding while still smiling as widely as they could were something he had never seen before. Somehow, at that precise moment, everything in their world was complete. Their love, their friendship, their devotion - all joined together to create a moment in time without sadness, fear or horror.

"Congratulations, mate!" Sirius said, coming to shake James' hand and thump on his back several times. "Can't believe you're actually spreading your genes, but congratulations all the same!"

"Oh, shut it," James said good-naturedly in a distracted sort of way. His arm was still tightly around Lily's waste, and he was grinning foolishly.

After that there was no point in continuing the Marauders' men-only night. Sirius had gone to the kitchen and came back with a fancy set of champagne flutes (where he had gotten them was quite the mystery) and a somewhat dusty bottle of champagne (again, its existence was quite mysterious, too) and they broke off with a series of toasts until Peter was beginning to look somewhat dazed and Remus started humming quietly to himself, quite please at the fact that he could carry a tune – never mind the fact that the tune he was carrying was one of the lesser known hits of Celestina Warbeck.

"Well," James finally said, glancing aside at Lily, who was rubbing her eyes, "I suppose we had better head home and get this lovely, lovely woman into bed before she starts snoring on the sofa right here and now."

He promptly let out a howl of pain as Lily viciously elbowed him in the gut. "I don't snore," she said huffily.

"'course you don't, love. Would never dream of it," her husband said with a wink at his friends over her head. "But we should still go."

"Yeah, I suppose so…"

And so the young couple got up, said their goodbyes, received final congratulations and headed out for their Apparition spot.

"This is going to be great," Sirius said once the door closed behind the parents-to-be. He was grinning almost as widely as James had, looking as though he was barely resisting jumping into the air and whooping like a child. "They're going to be wonderful parents."

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"-and keep her _warm_, James! It's cold now and she shouldn't catch the flu, or god forbids - pneumonia! And make sure that she eats balanced food - none of that junk she's so fond of! And don't let her overexert herself - she's working far too much! And-"

"I promise, Marcia," James said for what must have been the thousandth time since he and Lily told the news to Mr. and Mrs. Evans. "Have a good night."

"You, too. And-"

Whatever else she wanted James to make sure of was cut short by Lily closing the door behind her and leaning on it, possibly to push it back in case her mother decided to go out after them and add more advice to the already huge list given to James.

"If this would be her reaction every time, we're never going to have another baby ever again," she said jokingly, shaking her head. "That was damn frightening."

"Yeah," James agreed, also shaking his head. "Oh, well. We'd better get to the Apparating point. We're due to meet Sirius and Keira at Diagon Alley in half an hour. Lucky you can still Apparate until the later stages of the pregnancy. When you get to the seventh month it would probably be best we go just by floo, and that'd be a hassle."

"So that's what you think of me?" Lily asked dangerously. "A _hassle_?"

He gave her one of the Looks patented by Remus many years ago. You could not spend so much time as the Marauders did with one another without picking up some of the others' habits. This specific Look said, "Do you _seriously_ want me to dignify that with an answer?"

And, as always as when Remus gave that Look to the Marauders Lily flushed a little and lowered her heated gaze. "Sorry. Guess I was testing you," she said with a sheepish smile. "Well, we're nearly there, anyway. Where do we Apparate to?"

"Let's just go to the Leaky Cauldron. I think I need to walk off some of your mum's food."

And before Lily could ask what he meant, they arrived at the small, sheltered alley from and to which they Apparated every time they came for a visit at Lily's parents', and James Apparated away. Shaking her head, Lily Apparated as well.

The Leaky Cauldron was as busy as ever. It was almost the last refuge for witches and wizards wanting to forget a little about the horror that was the everyday life ever since Voldemort's ascent to power. Lily wondered how much longer it would remain so crowded. In the meantime there had been no attack on Diagon Alley, but she thought everyone realised it was only a matter of time.

James was waiting for her just outside the Apparating point. He was leaning on the wall casually, but she could see he was slightly bent at the waist. He did straighten when he saw her arriving and took her arm, but she could see a small spasm of pain in his face.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked as they went to the back of the pub and he tapped on the brick wall, waiting for the opening to appear. "You don't look so well. Do you want me to find Sirius and Keira and call it off? If you're not feeling well we should just go home."

"You just have to tell your mum she can't keep cooking so much food every time we come by," James groaned, clutching at his stomach as they entered Diagon Alley and started weaving their way through the masses filling the place despite the fact that it was already late. "She makes so much and then I feel guilty not trying everything she prepares."

"Why don't _you_ tell her that?" Lily asked. "I honestly think she likes you better than she likes me. I can't remember her ever telling _me_ I'm too skinny and maybe would I like a fourth helping? Speaking of that, I don't think you _should_ have had that fourth helping."

"Tell me about it," he let out another groan. "Next time, if it even _seems_ like I'm going to say yes - do kick me, will you?"

"No problem," she sniggered. "Anyway, I just think she was too excited about the baby that she didn't see that look of absolute horror on your face when she offered."

"Yeah. Go ahead. Mock the father of your child to your heart's content."

She shook her head. Her husband could be so childish when he wanted to be. Really, though, 'the father of her child' - that sounded so... unreal. When they married, she and James never discussed the issue of children. It was an unspoken agreement that they both wanted children at some point in their lives, but not just now. They were both just at the beginning of their careers, and honestly, they realised they were too young to handle the responsibility. But despite that, despite the fact that her pregnancy was not planned and was simply the result of carelessness on their side, neither of them had any intention of giving up the life that was slowly evolving inside her.

She smiled to herself. Despite being young, they would manage. After all, they were devoted to each other, and they always had their friends and family to help them along. They would make it together. She just knew they would.

"Where did you say we are meeting Sirius and Keira?" she asked after a while. The lively noises of Diagon Alley surrounded them, making her raise her voice a little.

"Florean Fortescue's. Sirius said there's a Muggle pub he's been dying to try out not far from here, so we're meeting them there and then going to the pub. Is that all right with you? I can convince him not to go to the pub if you have a problem with that."

"No, no. We already said we'd go, so we'll go wherever he wants. Anyway, if it gets too rowdy all we have to do is take our leave - I have a perfectly legitimate excuse, no?" she stroked her still-flat belly with a soft smile on her lips.

"You're right," he nodded with an answering smile. "That'll shut Padfoot up if he starts protesting. He's almost as excited about this as we are - possibly even more, I think."

They both laughed at this. It was true. Ever since the day Lily informed James and the Marauders that she was expecting, not a day passed when Sirius had not come to ask how the pregnancy was going and how Lily was doing and if there is anything he could do for them. It would have been funny, had it not begun to annoy them so much.

"Well, then, next time he comes by we'll just have to hex-" James' words were cut short as he was bumped into by a large man wearing nondescript, dark robes. Growling, the man turned to face James, his fist beginning to rise.

"Excuse me-" James said politely, trying to head off a potentially dangerous situation, despite the fact that he was not the one at fault. Had he been on his own, Lily knew he probably would have been less polite, but she was with him now, and she was pregnant...

But the fist kept coming and James dodged it at the last minute, hurriedly pushing Lily behind him. "What are you trying to do, you idiot?" he cried, his hand grasping for his wand.

That one man, no matter how big and strong, was no match for James when alone. But then, he was not alone. All of a sudden, they were surrounded. Panicking, Lily reached for her wand, but a strong, rough hand grasped her wrist, twisting it so that she screamed in pain, making James turn his head to her, just in time for the next fist to connect with the side of his head.

Almost in slow motion, Lily saw him collapsing, his knees buckling first and then his entire body falling to the ground. Around them Diagon Alley was too busy for anyone to notice what was happening. She took a deep breath in order to scream for help, but before she could so much as let out a sound, a fist slammed into her gut and a hand went to her throat.

The last thing she saw was James' face, close to hers, with a small puddle of blood surrounding it.

And then there was darkness, and she knew no more.

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Slowly consciousness returned to James. The blackness was still there, but it was not the darkness of oblivion, but the darkness of a closed space with no light or windows. He could feel rough stone under his back, cold, damp and slippery. There was little noise - just the rustle of cloth over stone and the occasional dripping sound of water hitting stone. He tried to sit up, but the moment he began rising, a sharp pain lanced through his head, almost making him see white for a moment.

"Argh…" he mumbled. "My _head_."

"James?" a panicked voice only vaguely recognized as Lily's asked. "James - is that you?"

"What's left of me, yeah," he tried humour, only to wish he had never spoken. His head felt as though someone had driven a long nail through it, each movement only made the pain worse. He unintentionally let out a moan of pain.

"Don't move!" Lily cried. He almost did not recognize it as her voice, so high and shrill. "Don't hurt yourself further. Please, James, don't move. I'm coming to you."

He heard the sounds of knees and elbows scraping across the rough floor and the small thumping sounds of a hand searching in the pitch dark for another warm body. After what felt like forever, he felt a cold hand touching his thigh and then snaking up until he had Lily pressed against him entirely, her body shaking with tears that she fought a losing battle to contain.

"I th-thought you w-were d-dead," she managed through her sobs. "I w-woke up i-in th-the d-dark and y-you didn't a-a-answer."

There was nothing he could say to that. Despite the excruciating pain, he forced his arm to move and wrap around her shaking body. It was all the comfort he could offer in this place and time.

Slowly, Lily's tears subsided and her laboured breathing eased. In the meantime, it also seemed as though the pain in his head lessened and he figured that as long as he stayed still, he would be able to talk a little to elevate Lily's fear. Of course, how to do so when he himself was more scared than ever in his life was a mystery.

"Do you remember anything that happened before we lost consciousness?" he asked quietly, still holding her tight.

"N-not much," she replied, her voice still shaking with dry sobs. "J-just that w-we were s-surrounded and t-that y-you were h-hit on t-the h-head."

"Hmm... I didn't recognize any of those who surrounded us - even by voice. It either means we're up against the lowest ranking or - and I sure as hell hope I'm wrong about that - the highest ranking. And then we're in trouble."

"T-trouble?"

"Yeah, because that'll mean we somehow managed to get ourselves on Voldemort's black list. But I don't understand how that could possibly happen. I mean, even though I work as an Auror, I'm a small fish compared to the big names. I never arrested or hurt any of his inner circle, so I really don't understand this. I suppose that settles it. We've just been captured by some low ranking Death Eaters who want to climb up the hierarchy. Our chances for escape should be rather good."

"Unless y-you consider the f-fact that if they h-have no use for u-us they'll just k-kill us." Lily's sobs were beginning to subside, but her words were like a bucket of cold water washing over James.

"You're right," he said softly. He truly had not thought about that possibility. "That means we had better start thinking of a way to get out of this mess. Help me up."

"What - James, you're hurt - you can't move just yet!"

"I have to, if we want to survive."

She had nothing to say to that. Now that both their heads were cleared, they both realised the dangerous situation in which they were. They had no way of knowing where they were, who they would face if they managed to get out of their cell, where their wands were or who their abductors were in the first place. For all they knew, their executioners were just outside the door, about to enter and kill them.

Sliding one of her arms under his neck and putting the other across his chest, she started to raise him to a sitting position. The pain in his head was returning, but it was less painful than before.

"Can you help me to the nearest wall?" he managed through the pain. "It'll be easier for the both of us."

"Yeah," she mumbled, slowly guiding him on their knees and elbows to the nearest wall where she helped him settle and catch his breath.

"Merlin," he said. "I can't remember the last time I was so out of breath after so little exercise."

A small chuckle escaped Lily's lips, but the somewhat hysterical sound was cut short as the door to their cell began opening with a loud creaking sound, and she clutched at him in fright.

This was it. Their last moments on earth.

For a moment they were both blinded by the light coming from the door. Despite being rather dim, they had been in darkness for who knew how long, and the light was too much of a contrast. Then, as the brightness subsided, James could see that there was only one figure in the opening, terribly tall and thin, its robes hanging elegantly over its frame. And then, little by little, he started seeing the figure's facial features. The blood froze in his veins and his grip on Lily tightened even more.

"Ahh..." the hissing voice said, "the Potters, I do believe."

Lily and James huddled closely together, pushing themselves further into the corner of their dungeon. But there was no escaping. Not from those cold, red eyes, that stared at them with such hunger.

"Do you know who I am?" the voice continued as the figure approached them, becoming more and more visible in the cell's gloom.

"You are the one who calls himself Voldemort," James replied, attempting to keep his own body between the Dark Lord and Lily.

"Correct," Voldemort replied, looking somewhat amused by James' futile gesture. "And you are James and Lily Potter - of Dumbledore's closest supporters. I've been meaning to have a chat with you for quite some time now."

"Is that so?" James said recklessly, his eyes following Voldemort. "And what could you possibly want with us? If you know of our loyalty to Dumbledore, I ask you again - what could you possibly want with us?!"

"And here I thought redheads were the fiery, temperamental ones," Voldemort said, his eyes narrowing. He sounded amused. "But then again, the Potters are also well-known for being hotheads. Very well. You want to know what I could possibly want with a pair of Dumbledore's closest supporters. That is quite simple. I want you by _my_ side. I have much use for talented, powerful witches and wizards, and I've been following your deeds for a very long time - Lily Evans and James Potter - bitter enemies turned lovers. Do you see? If from hate such _love_ sprouted, then why would not darkness sprout from the light?"

The emphasis he put on the word 'love' was so mocking and degrading that James felt a growl starting deep inside his throat. His parents loved each other. This was what had saved them throughout many years on the field. Their love was so strong that his mother did not wish to continue living after his father had passed away. She faded away for the sake of that love, and to James it seemed like Voldemort was mocking that very thing for which he respected and loved his parents so much. The growl turned into a roar.

"We'll never join your side!"

Surprisingly enough, especially to James, this did not come from his throat. Lily was by his side, clasping his hand and shouting straight at the embodiment of the nightmare all the wizarding community suffered from for years. Her face was contorted and he could not possibly remember the last time he had seen her so angry.

"You're a twisted snake in the body of a man! You're a monster and the killer of innocents! Why would any decent person join your side?! Even if it costs us our lives - none of us will ever surrender our freedom and lives to you! None of us will ever betray our families and friends and go to your side!"

For a split second it seemed to James that Voldemort was shocked beyond belief, but the next moment, when the Dark Lord's mouth twisted into a smirk, and he decided he had imagined it. Slowly, frighteningly, the smirk turned into laughter. A shrieking, high laughter that set James' teeth on edge.

"Ah, now I see I made the right choice!" Voldemort said delightedly. "I could feel the power in the air, my darling Lily. Despite being a Mudblood, you are still one of the most powerful witches of the age. You could even give my Bella a run for her money! And with this pure-blooded husband of yours... You'd be a valuable addition to my collection - the loyal Potters, turned Dark!"

They both remained quiet, holding to one another and glaring at him.

"I will give you two some time to think it over. A couple more days in the dark should do something to your mental state - and if not... Well. There are always other things I can do to make the two of you cooperate with me as I wish you to. Think about it – I will even spare your friends and family if you agree to my terms voluntarily." And with a last smirk their way, he turned and the door closed behind them, once again leaving them blind and helpless in the dark.

"We're in a worse fix than I thought," James finally said. "I never imagined... I never thought Voldemort himself would take interest in us. We're just two young people freshly out of Hogwarts. I'd thought he would try to convert Moody, or Marlene, or someone older and more powerful. Why us?"

"Could be because of the two times we fought against him and lived," Lily said. "Do you know who this Bella he mentioned is? Sounded terrifying."

The name also sounded horribly familiar to James. Something bothered him about it. After a few moments' thought, it hit him. "Shit. Lily, we _have_ to get out of here as soon as possible. We _have_ to escape, no matter what!" This was really bad. Really, really, _really_ bad. If Bella was the person who would do the _persuading_, they were in great trouble.

"I agree, but what makes it so urgent _now_?"

"I think that by _Bella_ he meant Bellatrix Lestrange. That's Sirius' cousin. You _must_ have heard about her at some point or another. She's _deranged_. She's even worse than Voldemort in the art of torture and killing. She's worse than a cat playing with a mouse. She's not _all there_, do you understand?"

Had there been light in their cell, James would have probably noticed how pale Lily had become, but as it were, the only indication he had that his wife was scared was the renewed trembling of her voice.

"Th-then what sh-shall we do?"

Ten minutes later found the couple blindly groping for the corner closest to the cell's door.

"Are you sure about that?" Lily asked for what must have been the fifth time since James suggested the idea.

"As sure as I'll ever be," he said. "I reckon it's our best shot."

"Then I hope to hell that we're dealing with an incredibly stupid Death Eater," she muttered as she gave him a leg up until he managed to get a grip on the meeting point of the wall and the ceiling. They had to do everything by feel, unable to see anything. "Otherwise we'd be in a whole world of trouble."

"How can this be any worse than the trouble we're in now?" James grunted. "Go on. Let's do it. Just remember to shut your eyes before he opens the door so that it won't blind you."

Taking a deep breath, Lily knocked timidly on the iron door of their cell.

"What is it?" a gruff voice demanded.

"We would like you to bring us to Vol – to the Dark Lord," Lily said, her voice trembling. "We thought about what he had said, and we can see the truth of it. We don't want anyone we love harmed. Please, take us to him to we can discuss the terms of our surrender with him."

What happened next was, as James would put it much later, sheer dumb luck. They had managed to get the one Death Eater guard that took Lily's words at face value, not stopping to think that it would most certainly be wiser to go and bring the Dark Lord, or at least backup, instead of bringing the two prisoners to the Dark Lord, alone and without reinforcement. It was the luck people only hear about and never experience, but this time worked for James and Lily's benefit.

"All right," he said. "I'm coming in."

There was the rattle of keys in several locks, what sounded like a big bar being lifted, and several spells undone. Tensing, Lily closed her eyes tightly.

And then, through closed eyelids, she saw the faint light.

"Now!" she cried, and James dropped from the ceiling over the Death Eater's head.

Soon enough the two were crouching over the prone figure. While Lily relieved the man of his wand, James checked his vitals. He shook his head.

"This one won't get up again," he said, a slight smile tracing his lips.

"One less for the Order to fight," Lily replied grimly. "What next, Master Auror?"

Though he guessed it would be futile, James took hold of her hand and concentrated, trying to Apparate them away. A few agonizing moments passed before he gave up.

"Anti-Apparition wards. We'll have to get out of the spell's boundaries before we can escape. We should probably get hold of another wand," he said, getting up. "Preferably our own, but not if it means we lose precious time. Let's go. We don't have time to lose."

Gripping the wand tightly in one hand, James held Lily's hand in the other, and together they crept down what looked like a corridor hewn from the very rock. The only light there came from several guttering torches, widely spaced along the walls.

"I think that as long as we're going against the air flow we should find an exit," he whispered.

"And probably several Death Eaters and possibly Voldemort," Lily whispered back.

He shrugged. "That's always a risk. Wonder where we are."

"We're in a bloody great death trap, that's where we are. Now be quiet so that we can find our way out of here without being spotted right at the onset."

He gave her a tiny salute together with a slight smile. The adrenaline was already rushing through his veins and he was starting to feel more confident about their chances of getting out of there alive. After all, getting out of the cell got them one step closer to getting out of wherever it was.

Their location was still a mystery. From the rock surrounding them he guessed they were inside a hideout carved into the very rock, and not just the dungeons of some abandoned castle. Of course, knowing where they were would not matter much once they managed to get out of there. You did not need to know where you were in order to Apparate into a place you knew.

They crept on for what seemed like hours. Several times they had to crouch in shadows as Death Eaters and groups of twos and threes passed them by. They seemed almost normal, talking among themselves, some of them even laughing pleasantly at jokes told. Had the Potters no reason to fear for their lives from these normal-seeming people, they could have been friends. It was chilling to the bone. These people had families, had people they loved, had jobs they must have taken pride in. They had children, whom they bounced on their knees and kissed goodnight, before picking up their wands and going for Muggle-slaughtering and taking over the wizarding world, one Dark spell at a time.

The corridors James and Lily were following seemed to gradually rise out of rock, becoming better-lighted, evenly-paved and more and more like a place people actually lived in. How the couple managed to avoid being seen (or smelled, for that matter) as they continued their ascent, would remain a mystery. Perhaps Voldemort was too busy torturing one of his people and making an example of him for the others. Perhaps they were just so certain that two exhausted, wounded prisoners could never escape a locked-up cell. The truth of the matter was that Lily and James were just incredibly lucky that night. They were not particularly smart in making their escape. Just lucky.

Perhaps it just was not their time to die.

An endless period of time later, the corridor they were following ended in a big, arched opening. They practically glued themselves to the wall, trying to get a better look at the place that opened from that arch. It would not do to be seen at the moment.

It was then that Lily spotted something of some importance.

"James!" she hissed. "There are our wands! Right there!"

James took a quick peek into the hall beyond, hoping against hope that their wands had been left alone. He groaned. "Yes, and there's the big, bad Death Eaters who's keeping an eye on them," he said, shaking his head. "If we're not quick enough taking him down, he will raise an alarm and then we may never get out of here alive."

And indeed, right next to a carved table on which two wands were placed, was a very much muscled, blonde man, who was obviously bored and wishing for some action, if his huge yawn was anything to go by. There was no way of knowing how skilled he was and whether he was _expecting_ trouble to come by.

"We need another wand, anyway," Lily persisted. "We'll need both of us in full capacity to get out of here safely once the Death Eaters find out we're gone. They're bound to come and check on us in the dungeon sooner or later. Voldemort isn't very well-known for his patience."

For one agonizing moment James wondered whether he dare delay and get their wands back, but in the back of his mind he already knew that there was no way he would leave his trusty wand of almost ten years behind, and knew that Lily would feel the same. An inanimate object or not, the wand chooses the wizard for a reason. Leaving it behind would be foolhardy, even if trying to retrieve it may be suicidal.

"All right," he finally said, "but you stay behind me the entire time. If I go down, you take the wand and escape, no matter how, no matter where. Save yourself and the baby. Are we agreed?"

"Yes," she whispered softly, he voice breaking at the very thought that she might lose him that night.

It was quite fortunate, then, that the Death Eater guarding their wands was either too slow, or too dumb, or too inattentive, and that James was an Auror (albeit an uncertified one, yet) and flooded with adrenaline, and fearing for the lives of his wife and unborn child, for the Death Eater was taking completely by surprise when James ran into the hall.

There was time for only one spell before the Death Eater could raise an alarm and flood the hall with his comrades and possibly even Voldemort.

One spell was all that was needed.

"_Stupefy_!"

The blond-haired man dropped down like a rock, knocking his head against the stone floor, and James wasted no time in going for the table where two wands were innocently set side by side – one of mahogany and the other of willow. He could not suppress a smile at holding his beloved wand in his hand. He was much more at ease now that he had it back. Now he could fully unleash his power on those who stood in his and Lily's way.

Unfortunately, the moment his fingers closed on the wood, the shrill sound of an alarm was heard all throughout the building. They had not counted on the Death Eaters putting spells on their wands. They had been foolish not to consider it.

"We need to go," he said.

The chase was on.

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Lily could not breathe. The sharp pain in her side told her that soon her strength will fail her and she will fall. But she could not, because falling meant never getting up again. It meant dying. It meant James dying. It meant her baby dying. She could not allow it. Were it just her life, she would have given up, but this was another life, entirely dependent on her. She could not give up. Not now. Not ever.

Her throat was on fire from trying to gulp in as much air as possible while running and her feet were beginning to tire. They _had_ to find a safe place to Apparate from, or they would have no chance at all. They had to reach the boundaries of the spell. James' hold on her hand was slipping, but he renewed it. They could not afford to be separated, not now.

They were rushing through low brush, and Lily was forcibly reminded of the last time they escaped Voldemort and his minions. Would they be as lucky this time? Did they dare hope that they would get lucky a third time? She did not think so. But that was not the time for giving up. She had to persevere.

A drooping, thorn-covered creeper managed to wrap itself around her arm as they ran past, drawing blood. She hissed in pain but did not dare cry out. They were right behind them, crushing through the bushes and ferns covering the ground. She knew she was bleeding rather heavily and that some thorns were still stuck in her flesh, but that was the least of her worries. The cramp at her side was returning with a vengeance, her feet hurt and her lungs were killing her.

"The boundary?" she managed.

"Not yet," James breathed.

A beam of light passed overhead, missing James' ear by less than the width of a finger.

"Duck!" he shouted, pulling her down into half a crouch, and still pulling her onwards, now zigzagging without a pattern in a desperate attempt to dodge the beams of spells sent their way. The Death Eaters were getting closer.

There was no way of knowing how long they were running. It could have been minutes and could have been hours. James would not let her stop. He pulled her along even as she felt herself weakening. She could not think coherently anymore, the sounds of the Death Eaters were coming ever closer, shouting in excitement as they spotted James and Lily among the bushes. Cries of triumph.

"We're going to die," she whimpered, for the first time voicing what she felt ever since the chase had begun.

"We're not going to die!" James said suddenly, his excitement growing. "We're at the boundary!"

With a last burst of speed he dragged her after him, trying to put enough distance between them and the Death Eaters so they could safely Apparate.

James stopped, held her tight and concentrated.

Behind them the Death Eaters came howling, sending their last curses in one desperate attempt to incapacitate the couple before they could get away. And just as Lily felt herself being pulled away, one last beam of light came hurtling her way. The noise in her ears was like that of a packed underground station, becoming louder and louder as the train rushed in…

And then the noise was gone. The constricting feeling of Apparating went through her, finally bringing them to a relatively safe place. She idly wondered where James had taken them, before remembering that last beam of light before Apparating away. She had never seen a spell of this colour before. It was quite fascinating, truth be told.

She blinked.

She did not quite realise what was going on. Did the beam miss her? She was so sure it was a precise hit, but she did not feel anything. It was strange. Suddenly the sounds surrounding her were meaningless. It was like trying to hear something with your ears stuffed full of cotton wool. She felt like she was almost floating. What was happening?

Then she looked down. There was blood staining her front, and it seemed like it was coming from her stomach. Strangely, there was no pain. When did she get hit badly enough to bleed so? Did she scratch herself on a flailing branch? Was it from some sort of cutting hex?

Then the pain arrived, lancing through her like fire. She opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out.

"Oh, _Merlin_! LILY!!!"

And she knew no more.

**Phew! Wasn't that one long, action-packed chapter? So much has happened! And yes, I am once again back with my habit of leaving you with a bloody cliffhanger ;) Fortunately for you, the next chapter is already waiting for Sunday to come 'round – so not much longer to wait!**

**In the next chapter: what happened to Lily and James? What happened to their unborn child? Is this the end of their troubles? (We all know that answer to that, don't we?) And at long last, the prophecy makes an appearance in:**

_**Those Who Thrice Defied Him**_**!**

**Please review, tell me what you think, and I'll see you all on Sunday!**

**-Star of the North**


	43. Those Who Thrice Defied Him

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Hello to all readers!

It occurred to me last week, on Thursday morning, that I forgot to wish the lot of you Happy Holidays! So whatever you're celebrating, and wherever you are – Happy Holidays!

That said, welcome to my Sunday update!

Now, **A WARNING:** this chapter contains some controversial material regarding pregnancies. I want to tell you that it is not my intention to show preference or opinion regarding the matter in question, but to further illustrate the fact that Lily and James did not have an easy time even before they had Harry, and the difficulties that may arise in any type of pregnancy. I hope the contents do not offend anyone and that it will not prevent you from continuing to read the story. Anyway,** feel free to let me know your opinion**. I know I'm taking a huge risk with this chapter, but I thought it would add to the tension.

On another note, just a quick note of thanks for those who have reviewed but do not have an account or did not leave an email for reply – thank you very much, and I hope you will continue with the story!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Forty Three - Those Who Thrice Defied Him**

They found Lily and James some two days later. They were blood-streaked and marked with various ominous wounds, but they were alive, if disoriented and weak. The most worrying thing, however, was the fact that Lily kept hugging her abdomen, as though in intense pain. All those in the group of Order members who had located them heard that Lily Potter was with child, and they all feared the meaning of what must have transpired. They wasted no time in bringing the couple to St Mungo's, hoping against hope that she would be all right, as would be the Potters' baby.

The Marauders waited outside the room Lily occupied for three days. She had to be heavily sedated constantly. James had been discharged after a night in the hospital, and ever since he refused leaving his wife's side. His colleagues finally managed to slip some sleeping potion into a cup of tea they succeeded in making him drink, and now he was passed out in the staff room just off the private room where Lily was lying, unconscious. Instead, the Marauders and the Lily's friends took turns in staying there in case she would wake and someone would have to Ennervate James, who was kept sedated 'for his own good'.

Only when the sun started to set on the third day, did the redheaded woman begin to stir. It was just when Remus came by to replace Rowena. The young woman just turned to leave, her face tired and hopeless, when Remus caught Lily's eyelids fluttering open from the corner of his eye. Emitting a choked cry, he hurried to her side, with Rowena quickly there as well.

"James?" Lily managed to croak, her gaze unfocused.

"I'll go get him," Remus said, and got out of the room in a sprint.

James was sprawled on one the staffroom's sofas, his mouth open and a small puddle of drool forming at the corner of his mouth on the side mashed to the coarse fabric. He was not snoring - a side-affect of the sedated sleep, for which his colleagues were probably extremely thankful, seeing as he had been there for almost two full days.

Pointing his wand at his friend, Remus whispered, "_Ennervate_." Almost as soon as the spell touched him, James jumped awake, almost knocking Remus on his backside.

"What's going on?" James demanded, surprisingly completely lucid. "Have I been sedated?" His tone was dangerous. Remus saw no point in lying.

"Yes, you were, and Lily just woke up, so you haven't missed anything."

It took a fraction of a second for James to shoot to his feet, and another fraction for him to splatter himself face-first on the staffroom's carpeted floor. "I seem to have lost control of my muscles," he said to the world in general.

"Probably a side affect of being under the influence of a sleeping potion for two days," Remus said pleasantly, helping him up and making James lean on him for support. Together they made the short distance to Lily's room, where the redheaded woman was helped by Rowena to sit up against her plumped pillows.

"James!" Lily called, almost desperately, probably disbelieving that they were finally safe and away from Voldemort's reach. Her arms were reaching for him, and Remus felt himself being dragged along as he attempted to stop James from falling over.

And then they were in each other's arms, Lily crying almost hysterically and James smoothing her hair gently and as comfortingly as he could. It was a very private moment, one which both Remus and Rowena felt embarrassed to witness, and so they slinked out of the room.

Leaning on the wall opposite of the door to Lily's room, Remus sighed and glanced at Rowena. "I'm glad they're both all right, but we have to admit that it was a close one," he said. He could rarely remember a time he had been more scared than this - except possibly for his time with the werewolves.

"Too close," Rowena agreed. "Had James said anything about what had happened there – before they sedated him?"

"Are you kidding? Not even Dumbledore managed to get a word out of him before he was sedated. All he had on his mind was Lily's safety."

"And the baby? The Healer-in-Charge couldn't tell me."

"Alive, but it's hard to tell whether it was damaged in any way by the curses she sustained. It's quite possible that they will lose the baby if her body received greater shock than it can handle."

"Dear Merlin," Rowena whispered sadly. "This is the last thing they need right now. After everything they've been through, to lose the baby as well? It'll destroy them."

"Let's not jump to conclusions," Remus said hurriedly. He really did not wish to think about it. Less than twelve hours before they were still not certain if Lily would survive, and now he wished to be more optimistic.

The eighty six hours since the Potters had failed to meet with Sirius and Keira at Diagon Alley and until they were found, practically half-dead, must have been the longest of his short life. For eighty six hours they had no idea whether their friends were alive, or if they were ever going to see them again. None of them went to work over that time. They joined the frantic search, hoping from the bottom of their hearts that they would not have to go to Lily's parents and inform them that their little girl was no longer among the living. Hoping they would see their friends again.

Keira was possibly in the worst state among them all. She could not bear the idea that she had lost her cousin as well. She was the only one who did not stop for rest from the moment Lily and James were reported missing and until they were found. Remus had never seen such desperateness in his life, and he himself was worried sick.

But it was over now. It was done and over with. Lily and James were fine – hurt, but alive, and soon they will know if their baby had survived the ordeal as well. Dumbledore would probably come by in several hours and they will finally know what had really happened over those three and something days in which their friends were missing.

Everything would be fine.

It had to be.

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Lily sat on a soft, padded chair across a desk from an elderly Healer who specialized in childbirth and all the months that led to it. She went to meet with the woman after James and she were contacted by the hospital shortly after they were discharged from it, saying that there were some things that needed to be said. James thought the phrasing ominous, but Lily convinced him to go to the Academy as usual and that she will tell him everything that evening. Now, however, seated as she was, scrutinized by the wise, sunken eyes, she started thinking that perhaps it had been a mistake.

She would have given everything to have him by her side as Healer Gregory sighed and finally looked deep into her eyes.

"Mrs. Potter," she said, breaking the tense silence with her soft voice, "there is something very crucial we must discuss regarding your pregnancy, and I am afraid that I can't put it off any longer."

Unconsciously putting a hand over her abdomen, Lily met the woman's eyes defiantly. "What about it?" she demanded, somewhat aggressively.

"Whether it would be better to discontinue it," Healer Gregory said soberly, her tone making Lily's eyes widen. It was devoid of gentleness, or any attempt to soften the blow.

"Why would I do such a thing?" she demanded vehemently. "Why would I kill my own baby?"

"Mrs. Potter, please. Hear me out," the Healer changed tactics almost immediately, practically begging. She seemed to want to head Lily's reaction off, but was already too late.

"No! You're talking about killing my own flesh and blood! My child and James'!"

"Mrs. Potter-"

"This is outrageous! You want to make me a murderer! A murderer of my own child! You-"

But Lily never finished her outraged rant, for Healer Gregory, quite calmly hit her with some sort of charm, subduing her immediately.

"Now, Lily," she said gently. "You will listen to me, and you will remain calm and composed while I explain the situation to you. I know that hearing me say that brought you to consider the worst possible explanation, but I ask you to hear me out. You _will_ hear me out. Now, as you know, you are already two months along, and it is my opinion that you have to make the choice now, before it is too late.

"I know that you and James did not plan on having this baby, but that is not why I bring this up - many couples who had never planned on having children early in life are now proud and loving parents. No. The reason I want you to consider discontinuing your pregnancy is much direr. Your child was only a little more than one month along when you were taken and then escaped – only Merlin knows how. You were hit by numerous spells during that event, and it is a miracle that you have not naturally lost it, since at least one spell hit your lower body. It is unlikely that the womb was not hit from at least one of those spells, and you must realize that your child - if born - will most likely be born deformed, if not dead.

"Are you prepared to care for a damaged human? Someone mentally handicapped who can't care for themselves, or someone whose body is so malformed that they can't even eat by themselves, let alone relieve their bodies? You are not yet twenty years old, dear - a child yourself. Are you entirely prepared to devote your whole life to someone else that probably wouldn't even thank you for it? Even worse than that, my dear – giving birth could kill _you_. There's no way of telling what kind of damage you sustained. Giving birth might lead to your own death."

"I-" Lily could not even voice her feelings. Either idea was too horrible to consider. It was true that the child had been a surprise, but that did not mean they did not want it. James was _ecstatic_ when he finally got it into his head that he was going to be a father. How could she kill her own baby?

But on the other hand… was she selfish, wanting this baby to be born when it could suffer its entire life from some spell-induced deformity? Her head was pounding. She wished James was there, certain that he would have known what to do, being the born-wizard between the two of them. Her breathing quickened and she felt a restricting pressure on her chest. It was not long before she was hyperventilating, her panic overcoming her commonsense.

It took over ten minutes and several alternating spells to bring her back to her senses. When she could finally focus on her surroundings again, she realized she was lying on the floor, with a very worried Hearler Gregory kneeling by her, holding a cool cloth to her face.

"Are you better, Mrs. Potter?" she asked gently as she helped Lily sit up.

"I need James," the young woman mumbled almost incoherently. "I need James."

"He'll be here soon, dear," the Healer soothed. "He's on his way."

Ten minutes later, when Lily was forced to take small sips of something sweet by Healer Gregory, the door to the office burst open, admitting James in. He appeared to have run all the way from the Academy, breathless and panicked. When he saw that Lily was more or less calm, he took a deep breath and went to sit by his wife, taking her hand in his.

"What is the matter, Martha?" he asked the Healer, who explained shortly what had transpired. Nodding his understanding, he asked her to leave them alone for a short while. Once the older woman was out of the room, he turned to Lily, his face soft. Had Remus been there, or another equally perceptive friend, they could have noted the sorrow etched in his face, but Lily could not see it. She was too deep in her own sorrow.

"We could go through an abortion, Lily," James said, sighing. "It wouldn't make murderers out of us. We need to think. Are we ready to take care of someone who may not be able to care for themselves?"

Lily looked up at him, eyes shining with tears. "I... I know that the curse hit me at the very worst possible place for the baby, but... there is no record anywhere of that curse hitting someone pregnant. We have no way of knowing if it went through and hit the baby. We could be killing our one chance of _ever_ having a child. What if the curse damaged me in a different way? What if after this I won't be able to have any more children? I... We have no way of knowing this, James and I... I want to take the risk. We can do it. Even if the baby is born... _damaged_. We can handle it. Please..."

For a moment James struggled for words, not sure himself what he wanted, but then he nodded. "All right, Lily. If you say we can do it, then I'm by your side. We'll do it together."

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In the weeks following the abduction of Lily and James by Voldemort and his Death Eaters, the Marauders made sure to check on their friends at least once or twice a week. Mostly it was just Remus, because Sirius was being mercilessly slaved in the Academy, and Peter's boss was apparently a hardened bastard and worked him half to death, but both of them did their best.

Surprisingly enough, the Potters seemed to be in high spirits, laughing and smiling as always. Lily especially smiled all the time, her hand resting on the abdomen more and more as the time passed. They talked as normal and acted as normal and, had Sirius not 'salvaged' a crumpled piece of parchment from the bin which had caught his eye because of the St Mungo's Coat of Arms on it, they would never had known that the Maternity Healer in charge of Lily's progress had warned them against the possible consequences of continuing the pregnancy. But since the Potters did not mention anything about it, the Marauders kept their mouths shut as well.

That, however, did not stop them from keeping their eyes open and making sure to give as much help and support as they possibly could to their friends.

Remus was just about to leave his parents' home after what was probably the best dinner he had had in weeks, when an owl came screeching through the window of the kitchen, landing right on the remains of that night's pudding. Startled, Saffron reached for the envelope it was carrying. A _red_ envelope.

"It's for you, Remus," she said with a raised eyebrow. And, as she handed him the envelope, said, "Why would anyone send _you_ a Howler?"

"I don't know," he honestly said, and hurriedly opened the Howler before it could become possible worse.

The message was very short.

"MOONY! YOU'VE GOT TO COME TO PRONGS' PLACE! NOW!" the Howler disintegrated, leaving Remus shocked. Why would Sirius bother sending a Howler just to ask him to come over to James'? Not bothering to ponder it further, he immediately put on his coat, kissed his worried parents goodbye, and Apparated away.

What he found at the Potters' was horrible. The door opened upon his knock by a very pale, frightened Lily. It took only a glance to show him that something bad had happened. Blood was smeared all over her front, and her clothes were dirty - dusty and stained.

"Come in," she said in a low voice. "He wouldn't agree to go to the hospital. He said it would be bad for his record, coming to the hospital twice in one month in order to get treatment. He said it so jokingly, but..." She was clearly on the verge of crying. "I know you're not the best at healing, but I could really use help and Sirius doesn't know _anything_ except for the most rudimentary!"

"What happened?" he demanded as he followed her to the bedroom.

She did not answer but allowed him to go in before her. What he saw struck him dumb.

All the sheets and blankets had been pulled off Lily and James' bed, leaving only an old one spread on the mattress, on which James was lying. The old sheet was soaked through with blood, the origin of which was a gaping wound on James' chest. Sirius was by the bed, desperately trying various healing spells that the near-comatose James was still muttering under his breath. Obviously, he had no talent for healing beyond the basic spells and charms taught to all Aurors going out to the field.

"Go stand by the door, Padfoot, and keep out of the way," Remus told his friend briskly, putting his hand instead of Sirius' on the cloth that was keeping the pressure on the wound. Then, as the astounded Sirius did as told, he turned to Lily. "What can I do to help?"

"You have an almost encyclopedic knowledge of spells and charms!" she said desperately, referring to their school days. "You were always the best at those things! He keeps on mumbling names of spells, but I don't recognize them! If I could have the instructions then I'd be able to perform it, but not like that!"

"Did you happen to write down the names?" he asked quietly, hoping to calm the nearly hysterical woman down.

"Sirius!" Lily shouted, turning her head back.

"He keeps saying the same names, so yeah," their friend said from his position by the door. He then began repeating those names, and Remus shook his head.

"I can tell you what to do, but you have to know that these are very complicated spells, and the chances of things going wrong are-"

"Things going wrong?" Lily interrupted him, half-sobbing, half-laughing. "Things have already gone wrong, Remus! My husband is lying there, dying, and I have to _do_ something. How much more wrong could it get?"

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An hour later, the three young people finally stood back from the bed, looking at the still figure lying there, breathing heavily, but at least definitely breathing. He was white as a sheet from loss of blood and definitely looked worse to wear, but at least he was alive, and that was something that could not be dismissed.

"He should be stable now," Lily said softly, voicing what they all knew.

Together, they changed the beddings without disturbing James as much as possible and then retired to the sitting room, all exhausted.

"I should probably offer you something to drink or eat," Lily said, but did not make any move to get up and go to the kitchen. "After all the help you've given me..."

Both Remus and Sirius stared at her in disbelief. Had they not known that she was in a very bad mental state at the moment, they would have both thumped her soundly on the top of her head. As it were, however, Remus just shook his head with a sigh, and Sirius gently said, "Lily, James is our friend. Don't ever forget that. He has always been there for us when we were in need. What kind of friends would we be if we wouldn't be there for _him_ when _he_ needed _us_? You do not need to thank us for anything."

"What you _can_ do," Remus interrupted, "is tell us what happened."

For a moment there was silence. Lily did not meet their gazes, but instead fidgeted uncomfortably, her fingers clutching the hem of her dirty shirt. Her head was bowed and after a moment, both Remus and Sirius were shocked to see tears running down her cheeks. Then she raised her head and gave a small chuckle that did not sound happy at all. "I must have pissed Voldemort off _royally_ when he abducted us," she said bitterly. "See, it should have been _me_ there on the bed, but James pushed me out of the way just a split second before the curse hit. He's been hit so badly, but all I could do was being thankful that it wasn't the killing curse!"

Remus could see Sirius desperately wanted to know what happened in more detail, but Remus gently put his hand on his shoulder, silently telling him with his eyes to let Lily tell it her own way and in her own time.

Finally, she continued. "We were out shopping - not even at Diagon Alley. We went out to Muggle London - I wanted some new kitchen appliances that we've been missing for a while, so James said he'd take a day off and we'll make an outing out of it and we did. We were just on our way back when James apparently heard someone muttering a curse and so he moved me quickly, just before the curse hit - but then there were others - and they were all directed at _me_! They all hit where _I_ was and not where James was, but finally one of the curses hit and he fell and..." Now the tears were coming even more freely, and it was breaking Remus' heart to see his friend in such a pitiful state.

"Listen, Lily," he said, "I don't know why Voldemort - and I'm pretty sure you're right and it _is_ Voldemort that's been sending people after you - wants you dead so badly, but I do believe that you should go and talk to Dumbledore about this. If anyone can make any sense of this, then Dumbledore would be it. I suggest you write to him immediately and tell him what had happened. He should know about it anyway. So Padfoot and I will keep an eye on Prongs while you go and write to Dumbledore and tell him _exactly_ what happened and who you suspect is behind it. Don't leave any detail out. It may mean something to Dumbledore beyond what it means to us."

"I suppose so..." she mumbled tearfully and headed for the study, where they kept parchments and quills and where James' old owl spent most of its days in sleep.

"Padfoot, I really don't like the sound of that," Remus told his friend. "He tried to _recruit_ them last time. Why would he suddenly change tactics - and only try to kill Lily? James is the Auror. Why is he trying to kill _Lily_?"

Sirius shook his head helplessly. "I understand as much of this as you do, Moony. Maybe Lily's right. Maybe he's just pissed off that a Muggle-born called him pathetic and said that they'd never join his side?"

"We know he's vindictive - but that childish? If he wanted them badly enough to abduct them and actually give them time to think it over, why suddenly try to kill them? This doesn't add up, if you ask me."

"You're probably right," Sirius agreed. "I just hope Dumbledore will have the answers."

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It was about three weeks after the Potters had decided they wanted to continue with the pregnancy despite all the dangers, both to Lily and to the baby, and two days after the attack on Lily, when they found themselves making their way to Hogwarts. James, though still pale and in pain, told Lily that this was more important than the risk of reopening his wound and convinced her everything will be all right. After all, there was always Madam Pomfrey, if anything went completely wrong. It had been a while since their last visit to the castle, but one does not forget the way around a place that had been one's home for seven years. They unerringly navigated the empty halls in the direction of Dumbledore's office.

McGonagall met them by the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to the Headmaster's office, greeted them succinctly and gave the password that enabled them to go up. From her expression it was clear that she did not understand why he had them called to Hogwarts.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Lily knocked firmly on the door.

"Come."

James and Lily entered Dumbledore's office somewhat hesitatingly. The urgent message asking them to arrive at Hogwarts as soon as possible had them on edge. What was important enough for the Headmaster to summon them to the school instead of Headquarters? Did he think Headquarters was not safe enough?

The Headmaster was sitting behind his desk, uncharacteristically somber. His eyes were closed and his chin was resting on his joined fingers. When he opened his eyes again, there was no sign of the customary tinkle.

"Lily, James. Please have a seat," he said quietly.

Glancing at one another, they did as bidden, for some reason unknown to either of them, clasping their hands together.

"I understand that you have decided to go through with the pregnancy despite what happened," Dumbledore started without preamble. "Is that true?"

Laying her free hand over the slight bump of her belly, Lily nodded firmly. "We've talked it over and we've decided it's for the best. Whatever the risk."

"Whatever the risk..." Dumbledore repeated. "And when is the baby due?"

"Late July," James said promptly. "Or early August at the most."

Dumbledore sighed at that. "Then I must ask you something, and you must answer truthfully. Your lives - and the life of your unborn child - depend on your answer." He paused for a moment before continuing, long enough for the Potters to become just a little worried. "I wanted to ask you how many times you have faced Voldemort."

And that was the one question they did not expect.

"Err... _What?_" was the only thing either of them managed, staring at their old Headmaster.

"I know of two times that you have faced him, but the fact that your baby's due in July gives rise for me to make sure. Has there been a third time?"

The couple exchanged uncomfortable glances. They had told no one of that time... There was no way Dumbledore could know. Why then...?

"James, Lily, _please_ tell me there hadn't been a third time!"

The intense look that burned deep in Dumbledore's eyes made the couple draw back, and made Lily tighten her arms around her growing belly. She looked up at James, begging him mutely to say something. _Anything_.

Taking a deep breath, he did. "There was... another time. When we had been assigned to the Hawthorn stakeout. Voldemort came there himself because Hawthorn had betrayed him. We... We couldn't let those children die!" The last part came out almost as a shout, and James felt as though he was trying to justify himself.

Dumbledore looked at them, and his eyes became less intense and sad. "We all wondered what had happened there that night. We thought it obvious because the Hawthorns were dead, but this..." He composed himself. "I'm afraid I have bad news for you."

The couple's hold on one another tightened and James added his own arm across Lily's abdomen. In dreading silence they waited to hear what Dumbledore had to say. The old man, however, took his time. It seemed as though he himself was afraid of what was to be said. Closing his eyes tiredly and then opening them again, this time calm and clear, he began.

"A couple of months ago, not long after the two of you had been captured by the Death Eaters, I've been called to Hogsmeade. There was a young woman there, who had heard about the vacancy created for a Divination teacher at the school, and came to try for it. Quite honestly, I was never one for Divination, and I was fully prepared to cancel that class entirely, but the woman claimed to be Cassandra Trelawney's great-great-granddaughter, and I felt obliged to at least hear her out. My first impression was not a positive one. I sincerely thought her a charlatan. _However_, just when I was about to put an end to the interview, she fell into a genuine trance and spoke a prophecy. A _true_ prophecy.

"It goes _'__The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..._'" Dumbledore quoted somberly. "And for a while, I was certain I knew that the child in question is the one which rests in the womb of Alice Longbottom. She and Frank had faced Voldemort three times and are certainly hated by him. But something was not right, and the latest attempt on Lily's life last week made me think that perhaps there was a variable I wasn't made aware of. The two of you have just proved me right."

"So you're saying… you're saying that _our_ baby is this person?" Lily demanded. "And what has it got to do with the attempt on my life? I thought the prophecy was made to _you_."

Dumbledore sighed. "I'm saying your baby _could _be this person. As I said, Alice and Frank also fit the criteria. And this is the part I was dreading to share with you. Someone else also heard the prophecy. I'm quite certain that he hadn't heard the entire thing, but I know that he had heard much before Aberforth found him skulking outside the door to Professor Trelawney's chamber. I have no doubt that he went with that information to Voldemort himself, and at the moment, both you and the Longbottoms are in grave danger."

"What are we to do, then?" James asked, all business. "We have to do whatever we can to protect Lily and the baby. What do you want us to do?"

"First of all, you must move out of your apartment," Dumbledore said briskly. "The attack on Lily was a very short distance from your building, and that makes me very suspicious – and not a little worried."

"Our flat...?" Lily let out in dismay. "But... It's been our home since we got married!"

James' hand tightened its grip on hers, silencing her. "What else, Albus? You said first of all. What else needs to be done?"

"Have as few people as possible know of your location - just people you are _certain_ of their loyalty. Do not make light of this. I know you have many friends and colleagues, but you must keep your location safe. Spend as little time as possible outside your work places or home. You have to minimize the chances given to Voldemort to find and kill you. Do not walk alone unless there is no other choice. Try and Apparate directly to and from your home. Stay in big crowds. And for Merlin's sake, _be careful_. We have no way of knowing who had been subverted by Voldemort, who is under the Imperius curse or who is polyjuiced. Don't trust _anyone_ more than you have to. This is very important, do _not_ take it lightly."

The young couple exchanged glances, before nodding in dismay. "We won't," they promised.

Dumbledore sighed, looking years older than he had scant two years before. "I'm really sorry about this, my dear children. Merlin knows I would have taken this burden on myself, had I been able, but these are your lives which are in danger. I will do all I can to help protect and search for ways to make you even safer than you are, but as things stand now, all I can do is wish you the best of luck and what little advice I had already imparted. I wish there would have been more, but there just isn't."

Both James and Lily breathed deeply. This was their choice. They would go through with it, no matter the consequences. They would give that little ray of light in their rather dark life a chance. They had to. For them, there was now no other choice.

**Oh, the drama, the drama! Once again, we have had a very action-packed chapter. I hope you had enjoyed it all the same (true, not very enjoyable subjects, but rather realistic, I think…).**

**What will we have in the next chapter? James feeling insecure, Lily's mother reveals the name of Petunia's newborn son, births, births and more births and – what do you mean, he called **_**dibs**_**?!**

**This and more in Chapter Forty Four – **_**Their Daylight in the Night**_**!**

**Please review, tell me what you think, and I'll see you all on Wednesday!**

**-Star of the North**


	44. Their Daylight in the Night

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Phew! Made it! A little later than I intended, but still on Wednesday! Sorry, been a long day.

_Anyway!_ We're getting on with the story! And this, my friends, this is the chapter I hope you've all been waiting for! Can you guess why? Of course you can! So, without further ado, I wish you all a Happy New Year!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Forty Four - Their Daylight in the Night**

The months went by quickly. Soon the cold weather became just slightly less cold, and the heavy rains and thunder and lightening storms made way for spring drizzle. Nothing much changed in Remus' life. He still performed his duties for the Order where he could, still changed jobs every month or so, still went for dinner at his parents' twice a month or even three if he could manage it, and still visited with his friends whenever he could. Naturally, these days it mainly meant visiting Lily, for Sirius and James were usually out in the Hospital or out on the field or training rigorously at the Academy, and Peter was practically unattainable, and whenever he _was_ around, he was surly and all he had to say was complain about his sadistic boss.

Lily, on the other hand, already in the sixth month of her pregnancy, was now banned from working at the Apothecary's anymore, seeing as James pulled on his Healer authority and told her the fumes were dangerous for their baby. Therefore she spent most of her time at home, working on the theory of potions and slowly starting to find what exactly were the demands and tests she had to go through in order to become a certified Potion Mistress and a teacher. Though she realised it will still be a while before she could apply for the job at Hogwarts (no matter how clear it was to everyone that Slughorn wished to retire) and be qualified for it.

Therefore, Remus was quite surprised one fine April morning, stopping by the Potter's flat in Birmingham to which they had moved after the attack on Lily, to find James opening the door for him. His friend looked as though he had not gotten enough sleep in a while, but he still greeted him with a weak smile and let him inside the flat, which was conspicuously Lily-less.

"And where is your darling wife?" he asked once they settled in the sitting room with bottles of butterbeer and the biscuits James found in the pantry. The new flat was not half as nice as the one they lived in previously. The cheerful colours were gone, and it seemed that the Potters lacked the energy to paint another flat yet again, and it was smaller, more cramped. It was in a relatively respectable area of Birmingham, but living there was just not the same as living in London.

"Visiting with her mother, though from what Marcia said I suspect that she's plotting to invite Petunia as well and to try bridge over their 'differences'. Like that'll work…"

"Is she likely to behave herself?"

"Petunia?"

Remus laughed. "I wouldn't expect _her_ to behave if a thousand years would have passed. No. I meant Lily."

"Honestly? I really couldn't tell you. She's temperamental. Been so since her fourth month. And she's gone berserk lately, I tell you," James half-moaned. "She's having _cravings_."

"Is she?" Remus asked. "I thought she'd skip over that stage entirely, seeing as she's normally a very logical person."

"That doesn't stop her from wanting a whole bucket of chocolate ice cream in a freezing night, smack in the middle of a bloody _storm_," his friend ranted. "Luckily there's an all-nighter ice cream parlour just a block away from the flat, or yours truly would have died of bleeding pneumonia last week. Bloody England and its bloody weather."

Outside the flat, bloody England's bloody weather was having an absolutely lovely day, but that little fact did not seem to register in James' mind. He was gloomily sitting with his back to the flat's only front window, staring at the bottle of butterbeer as though it would help him get drunk and forget about everything that was bothering him. It had been a while since Remus had seen him so down – especially since the start of Lily's pregnancy.

"Sickle for your thoughts?" he asked finally when James started torturing the poor sofa's somewhat threadbare upholstery (the flat had come already fully furnished, and the young couple had not gotten around to getting rid of it), pulling threads out absent-mindedly.

For a while James said nothing, his eyes intent on those threads which he twisted around his fingers before snapping them off. A moment later, however, he sighed and looked up, his eyes cloudy.

"Am I really going to make a good father?" he asked Remus. By the tone of his voice, the young werewolf realised that this was a question his friend had been torturing himself with for quite a while.

For what felt like forever, all he could do was stare at his friend. Was this _James Potter_? Was _James Potter_ asking him if he was going to make a _good father_? There were so many wrong things about this question that for the time being Remus was rendered speechless.

"James?" he finally said.

"What?"

"You're an arrogant bastard, you executed your share of bullying, you pulled the figurative braids of the girl you liked, you're much too bright for your own good, and you are so prideful that sometimes I wonder how your stick of a body can contain so much ego-"

"_Ouch_," James said with a painful grimace. "Trust Moony to tell you the truth-"

"I'm not finished – you can be vain, rash, you have a terrible temper sometimes, and you're not the most patient man around-" James winced at this, probably wondering how many more bad qualities he had, "-but you're a good man, and you love Lily _and_ your child, who hasn't even been born yet. You risked everything for that child – your career, your life, everything. You're young, granted – both of you are – but you have a family to support you, friends who want to be there for you when you call, and most importantly, you have the ability to love and care for this child and make your home a happy one. Now do you understand?"

The two men stared at one another from opposite sides of the room, James on the sofa and Remus on a wicker chair. Hazel eyes met light blue, and finally, there was that familiar quirk of the lips – barely noticeable, but definitely there.

"So, basically, what you're telling me is that I'm acting like an idiot?" he said with that tiny sliver of a smile.

"Precisely," Remus said firmly.

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The Marauders and the girls all got together at the Potters' flat in late June, about a month before Lily's due date. The excuse for this was Haley's twentieth birthday, but really, it had just been a while since they had all seen one another and decided this was a great occasion to do just that.

Lily looked absolutely radiant. Even with her belly as big as it was, she still looked beautiful. And she was smiling so widely that it practically made the house full of light.

Remus chuckled as he approached her and then kissed her cheek. "You look wonderful, Lily," he said. "I don't know if James realizes just what great a prize he managed to get himself."

She laughed. "Since when have _you_ become such a charmer, Remus?"

"It comes to me, every now and then," he said modestly, his lips fighting to rise.

The new flat to which the Potters have moved the month before was once again in London. Though Lily was a little reluctant to come back to the city, James had insisted that he preferred to be physically close to St Mungo's when Lily's due date would finally arrive – just in case something went wrong and they could not get to the Hospital in a non-Muggle fashion. He was adamant for his baby to be born at the wizarding hospital and not at some Muggle place he did not know.

This flat was even smaller than the one they rented back in Birmingham, but it was cosy, and it seemed as though in honour of the child that would soon enter their lives and probably change them forever, the couple made real effort to make the flat look like a home. The walls of the living space, the kitchen and the bedroom were painted very light yellow, and someone (most likely James, seeing as he was both the artist between the two and also not the one with an eight-months pregnant belly) had painstakingly painted flowers, vines and leaves in a chain near the meeting point of the wall and the ceiling.

The furniture was also new, and the style of the various pieces matched to the others, unlike in their previous home. It looked like James did not care about the cost as long as they managed to make this their baby's first home. But the one and only true concession to the fact that the Potters were expecting a third member to join their family was next to the double bed in the bedroom. They had not bought any toys, clothes or decorations. Nothing but the cradle standing by Lily's side of the bed. Remus wondered why, but tactfully chose not to comment.

Instead, he simply said, "Like what you've done with this place."

"Do you?" Lily glowed at his words. "I chose the colours and had James do it."

"She's an absolute slave driver when she wants to be, Moony," James said from the kitchen, where he was keeping an eye on the oven, where a freshly baked pie was slowly becoming golden. "Don't let that sweet smile and those fluttering eyelashes fool you."

"Never _had_ been fooled, my friend. You were the only one foolish enough to fall for that," he called back, expertly dodging Lily's clumsy attempt to swat him. "Ah, my darling, Lily. You know it's all because I love you."

"Did I just call you charming?" she shouted at him, for he was standing at a safe distance now, keeping the sofa between them. "You've been spending too much time with Sirius!"

"Did someone call my name?" Sirius' head poked through the front door, on which he had apparently just knocked. "You have need of the dashingly handsome, wonderfully witty little old me, eh, Lily?"

The pregnant woman looked from him, to Remus, to James, who had difficulty holding his laughter in, his shoulders hunched and shaking and his face contorting in a valiant effort not to burst, before she threw her hands upwards and cried, "Marauders! I'm surrounded by bloody Marauders!"

"You were the one who threw your lot with theirs, Lily," Keira said, from her place behind Sirius. They had obviously come together, which was something that no longer surprised anyone. It did not even bother James anymore, to know that his cousin was freely and openly frolicking with his best friend. "You have no one to blame but yourself."

Muttering darkly about treacherous best friends and husbands, Lily returned to the kitchen, where she was putting the last touches on lunch.

It was a very pleasant event, with all former Gryffindors enjoying their meeting, everyone fussing over Lily's large belly and the baby that would soon come out to grace all their lives with its presence. Since this was the first baby to be born among their company, the Marauders and girls were almost as excited about it as Lily and James, and repeatedly offered their services for babysitting and helping in general. The meal itself was also good, and they all complimented Lily endlessly.

Finally, after the last crumbs of dessert were gobbled up by Sirius, Lily suggested that they move themselves to the sitting space, where they would be more comfortable.

"Who wants something hot to drink?" James asked, getting up. "I can offer you tea, tea and, let's see… Oh, yes. Tea."

"What happened to coffee?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow. Ever since he started at the Academy, he had developed a taste for the bitter drink. As if he was not hyperactive enough, now he also had caffeine on his side, making his friends absolutely terrified of being anywhere _near_ him after consuming some.

"I absolutely can't abide the smell anymore," Lily said sweetly, and – to Remus it seemed – entirely falsely, since he had seen her the week before, mooning over James' cup of coffee, sourly muttering that one cup of coffee should not make that much of an impact over her pregnancy. "It upsets my stomach, see?"

"Oh," Sirius said, somewhat disappointed. "Then I suppose tea it is. I can always have some when I get back home."

Once this issue was settled, the group migrated to the sitting space, and tea and cake were brought, making it a successful finish for a lovely lunch.

It was early afternoon when a surprise visitor had come by the flat. James was just clearing the dirty cake plates and teacups when there was a knock at the door, and James, with his hands full of empty tea cups, frowned, hurried to the kitchen to unload his burden and then back to the front door. There was a low murmur of security charms being uttered and the sharp clicks of a key turning in its hole and a bolt being slid back before the door opened with a loud creak.

"Oh, hello, Marcia," Remus heard James say from the doorway, sounding surprised. "Didn't know you were coming by today."

"I wasn't actually supposed to be here," the voice of Lily's mother came. "But something happened and I wanted to let Lily know. Is this a bad time?"

"No, no. Come in. I hope there's nothing wrong with David?"

"Oh, no! Nothing _bad_ happened!"

Then the two of them came into the sitting room, where the Marauders and the girls were all seated, laughing and talking, and Remus immediately pretended to have been part of the conversation from the start.

"Oh, I'm sorry, dear!" Marcia said, putting a hand to her cheek. "I had no idea you were having friends over today."

"That's all right, Mum," Lily said, smiling and getting up from her seat. "We just decided it had been too long since the lot of us were all together. It's been a while!"

"So what is the news?" James asked, coming from the kitchen with a chair for Marcia.

"Well," she said, a smile appearing on her lips, "Last night Petunia gave birth to a big, healthy baby boy. I know that you don't really get along with Petunia and Vernon, but I thought you might want to know, anyway, seeing as he's your nephew!"

"What is his name?" he asked, though Remus thought that it was more for sheer politeness than actual interest.

She looked somewhat uncomfortable, as though torn between defensiveness, pained amusement and absolute bewilderment. Finally she said, "Dudley."

There was a moment of absolute silence - before the entire room burst into violent laughter - starting with James, continuing with Lily, Remus and the others, and, at the very end, even Marcia cracked a smile.

"I can't believe she actually did that to the poor boy," Lily said, wiping a tear of mirth from the corner of her eye.

"Speaking of names," Marcia said, looking pointedly at Lily and James, "have the two of you decided on a name for _your_ little one?"

The couple exchanged glances and then looked embarrassedly away from one another. Though the birth was only to be a few weeks away, they did not even _begin_ coming up with names.

"Truth be told..." Lily mumbled.

Marcia gave her a Look. Remus knew it to be a Look since he was an expert at giving them. He could not remember the last time he saw the fiery-tempered redhead so uncomfortable and downright ashamed. Thinking it over, it was quite refreshing. But then again, he wondered why his friends did not start thinking about names. It was already the end of June, just a month away from the predicted due date, and so far it seemed that despite all the fears, Lily's pregnancy was going well. Were they still afraid that there will be something wrong during birth?

Whatever it was, the Potters were not telling.

Shortly afterwards, Marcia got up to leave, but was intercepted by Lily, who demanded that she would stay for dinner with her and James. Their friends, after all, were only there until teatime, so she should not feel uncomfortable.

As the women went chattering to the kitchen to make another batch of tea (James was kicked out of the kitchen despite wanting to help) and Peter was dragged off by Sirius to help him with something to do with his bike, Remus found himself cornered by James in the sitting room. His friend looked determined to speak with him about something.

"I have to talk to you about something, Moony," James said, affirming that thought, looking a little unsure of himself.

"What is it, Prongs?"

"I... err... You are truly one of my best friends, so I hope you won't take it too badly when I tell you that... Sirius is going to be our baby's godfather." James looked up at him anxiously, biting his lower lip.

Remus thought he had never seen him look so pathetic. "Of course it doesn't bother me," he said, speaking mostly the truth. "I could see it coming. Could I ask what made you decide, though?"

The expression on James face could be best described as saying, "You're _so_ going to think this is stupid, because _I_ surely do." When his friend finally answered, he understood why. James closed his eyes and said something as quickly as he possibly could.

"He called dibs."

"I beg your pardon?" Remus said, not sure if he had heard correctly.

"Back in fifth, when it became obvious to everyone that I had my heart set on Lily? Sirius cornered me and said that he wants to be the godfather of our first child."

Remus stared at James, wondering if his friend was completely off his rocker, then he sighed, shaking his head with a slight smile on his lips. "Figures," he said.

"I really would have preferred you as a godfather," James said in defeat. "I'm not sure I can trust Sirius with not corrupting the baby, and you're a much, _much_ more responsible person - but a promise is a promise... I promise, though - next child Lily and I have, will be your godchild."

James' optimistic view that despite the unknown damage that Lily may have sustained during their short-lived captivity they would still be able to have another child made Remus smile. The idea of having his very own godchild was also something to be happy about and look up for. Truly, he understood James' reluctance to tell him about Sirius and the promise he had made him. It _did_ sound ridiculous. But as James said, a promise is a promise, and James was not one to back out on his word.

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He had lost his job again. And just after the full moon. That was definitely a low blow. He was not feeling all that well as it was, and his boss just had to make it that much worse.

Mr. Cane, the owner of the coffee house he had worked in as a shop assistant for the past five weeks, had come in that day, his face a thundercloud, grabbed the startled Remus by the collar of his robes and practically threw him out of the store.

At least he had the decency to throw his wages after him.

Remus did not even bother to ask why or even how he had found out. He got up, picked up the money from the pavement, ignored the disgusted looks given to him by passersby, dusted his robes, and made his way to St Mungo's. He really needed to see a friendly face.

He found James on lobby duty, as his friend called it, sorting between various patients waiting to be diagnosed, calming distraught relatives and generally being a good guy. When he spotted Remus coming towards him, he waved him over. When he saw the look on Remus' face, he sighed.

"Bad day, huh?"

"You can't even begin to imagine," Remus replied with a sigh of his own. "Just needed to see someone who doesn't loath me entirely."

James shook his head. "Can you sound any more pathetic, Moony? I was on night shift and I'm getting off in about half an hour and I don't have to go to the Academy today. How about you go and sit in the tearoom for that period of time and then come home with me? I'm sure Lily would be happy to see you. She's been grounded to the house for the past week."

"Oh?"

"All she can do it waddle away at the moment," he said with a boyish grin.

Somehow he knew that his friend would not have dared saying that in front of his fiery-tempered wife.

And so Remus did as James suggested and came home with him, to the Potters' flat.

"Remus!" Lily called happily from the sitting room, where she was half-sitting, half-lying on the sofa, with a book resting on her huge belly and a steaming cup of tea beside her. "I just made a fresh pot," she said, gesturing at her cup. "Help yourself. It's in the kitchen."

"And what about me?" James asked jokingly, bending to kiss her.

"You don't deserve tea," she said grumpily. "You left me all alone here when I'm in such a delicate state."

Heading for the kitchen, Remus could swear he heard James snorting at the suggestion that there was anything about Lily that was delicate. Then he quite clearly heard a yelp and guessed that Lily possibly walloped James with a pillow. At least, he _hoped_ it was a pillow.

Several cups of tea later, Lily was sleepily curled up next to James, contributing very little to the conversation between Remus and James which mostly revolved around James' work and the next full moon which was still a long way away. The last one had been only three days before, but that did not stop James from wanting to plan ahead.

"We should probably use the old warehouse in Liverpool, this time," he said, referring to one of the various places in which the Marauders spent the full moons ever since Hogwarts. "We haven't been there in a while, and it would be near the end of the month, so there shouldn't be anyone in the vicinity. They only ever come there on the fifteenth of the month. We should be safe. And in any case, we always cast Muggle-repelling charms over the place."

"I suppose so. We could also use the Swindon caves. No one knows-" Remus' words were cut off by the polite knock of an owl's beak on the Potters' window.

Before James could stop her, Lily shot out of the sofa and hurried to the window. James was right. She _did_ waddle.

"Alice has gone into labour!" Lily suddenly shouted, half-excited, half-panicked, the letter gripped in a shaking hand. "This is so wonderful!" She started for the door when she caught a foot on the sitting room rug and began falling.

"Lily!" James shouted, catching her just before she could be harmed. "Don't get _yourself_ too excited or you might go into labour yourself!"

"Sorry!" she said, laughing. "But this is so exciting! Can't I go there, James? Please?"

For a moment Remus thought James would agree, but after an agonizing moment of trying to decide, his face became set. "I'm sorry, love. I don't think it'll be safe. Voldemort might... Voldemort may have found out where the Longbottoms are. He might decide on taking them out when they are most vulnerable. I don't want you hurt - even if it _is_ a small chance."

For a split second it looked as though Lily was about to argue, but then she sighed and sat back down, released from her husband's arms. "I know. I was being foolish. But I really... I really wanted to be there for Alice, you know? We've grown quite close, what with the work for the Order and the fact that we both got pregnant at roughly the same time. It's a pity. I wish..." Both men were startled to see tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I wish this would have been a better world. I wish there was never a Dark Lord and that our child would be able to grow up in peace!"

She was now crying in earnest, and all the helpless James could do was hold her in his arms and let it continue until she stopped of her own volition. Over her head, he mouthed, "Hormones," to Remus, but the other man knew all too well that though it was meant in jest, James' heart was simply not in it. They all felt the same, after all, but now he realised that for Lily and James, it was much worse. Not only was it not safe to bring a child into a world so torn in war, but the two of them were right at the top of Voldemort's black list.

"I suppose I had better go," he said, not really wishing to intrude on them in what seemed to be such an intimate moment.

"No!" Lily said, turning suddenly, her crying halted. She hurriedly wiped her face and caught hold of his sleeve as he rose to go. "Don't go, Remus. I'm sorry. I was being unreasonable. You came here to spend the morning with us, and I know you're always busy, so please don't leave!" She sounded almost desperate. Desperate for him to stay. Desperate to have a friend over as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Desperate for life to back to normal. What was normal? Would life be back to normal once Voldemort would be gone? Would he ever _be_ gone?

The atmosphere at the Potters' became a lot less light-hearted after that.

A short time before noon, Remus was just about to leave, feeling somewhat relieved, when the door to the flat burst open, letting in an excited Sirius. All three inside, who instinctively reached for the wands, visibly relaxed before James started shouting at their friend for scaring the hell out of them.

"What the bloody hell were you _thinking_?" he roared. "We could have hexed you to hell and back!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Sirius said, still smiling foolishly. "But I thought you'd like to know that the birth went smoothly, and the Longbottoms have a healthy boy named Neville!"

Remus stayed for a while longer before leaving. He had to admit, hearing that the Longbottoms' baby was born safely and that the two of them were alive and well and undiscovered by Voldemort, that he had left with a much easier heart.

And things once again seemed to better. As he walked on his way back home, he spotted a sign in a grubby herbalist shop, reading, _Help needed! Please ask at the desk for details!_

Feeling a little bit luckier, despite that morning's fiasco with Mr. Cane, Remus mustered his best smile and entered the shop, ready to start anew.

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The call came late that night after Alice Longbottom had given birth to her son, while Remus was at the back of the Herbalist's shop, placing jars and boxes back in place.

He had caught Sirius by floo earlier and told him where he was working now, so that he could be contacted in case of emergencies. It was lucky that he did, since at that moment his new boss, a dumpy witch in her late sixties, came in, hands stained with the juices of various plants she made into salves and simple potions, and said, "You had a floo-call. Someone called Sirius said that you had better get to St Mungo's quickly."

"Did he say why?" he asked anxiously, hoping someone was not hurt in a mission again.

"He said the little one is about to pop out."

Without waiting another second, Remus bid Mrs. Taylor goodnight and Apparated to St Mungo's, his heart thumping in his chest. He was going to be an uncle!

Well... sort of.

The maternity ward at St Mungo's was not much used. Most witches preferred to either give birth at home, or to go to the nearest Muggle hospital. It was a small ward, not even advertised on the sign hanging at the hospital's entrance, but it was quite obvious that James, being a worker of St Munog's himself, would prefer taking his wife where he knew she would get good treatment and where he knew the staff that would be taking care of her.

Remus had to ask several people for directions before he located the door, at the very back of the first floor, which led into the ward. As he entered the waiting room beyond, he spotted Sirius sitting on a shiny leather chair, with his arms crossed and his eyes staring at something across the room from him. He was the only person in the room, and there was no sound except those of muffled shouts and perhaps screams.

"Are we the only ones who came?" he asked in a way of greeting.

"David and Marcia are on their way, being brought over by Keira, and Wormtail said he'd be here in an hour's time - his mother's a little ill," Sirius said distractedly. "I just happened to still be at their place when it started." He continued staring ahead.

Following the direction of his gaze, Remus frowned. "Ummm… Sirius?" he said, looking at the door behind which came the muffled noises.

"Yeah?" Sirius asked, his eyes fixed on that selfsame object.

"Am I imagining things, or did someone set fire to that door?"

"They wouldn't let him in with her at first, because he had completely lost hold of his wits," Sirius said in a way of explanation as Remus continued staring at the singed edges of the maternity ward's door. There was a very strange expression on Sirius' face.

"Was that when he set fire to the door?"

"No," Sirius said, his voice sounding fascinated. "That was when he tried to barrel his way in. It was when they tried to push him back and he heard her screaming that he set fire to the door."

"And they let him _in_?"

"They _did_ confiscate his wand first - for security reasons, you know?"

The two of them sat side by side, not saying a word, staring at the door, and waiting. About an hour later Keira arrived with Lily's parents in tow, all three looking either excited or terrified. It made one wonder what was the result of Petunia's birth, and, glancing at Sirius who seemed almost unable to keep a straight face, Remus guessed he had thought the same.

Soon after, Peter ran into the ward, looking positively afraid.

"Did I miss it? Did I miss it?" he managed breathlessly.

"Not that we can tell," Remus managed. "But they didn't come out since I arrived here."

"Glad I didn't miss it," their friend said with a sigh of relief. "Mum almost didn't let me leave. I was almost desperate enough to wallop her on the head and make a run for it. It's bad enough that my boss doesn't give me enough free time to see the lot of you, but now my mum is collaborating as well? It's a conspiracy, I tell you!"

Peter's comment seemed to take some of the worry from the room, making both of the other Marauders chuckle.

"I wonder if he'd be ugly like James," Keira said with a grin. "I certainly hope the poor kid will get Lily's looks. A miniature version of James Potter is an almost a terrifying idea. Almost too terrifying to consider."

That completely broke the tension in the room for a short while, making all people there relax a little bit more.

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Lily and James Potter's son was born just at the crack of dawn, July 31st, 1980. Those assembled in the waiting room outside could easily hear the sound of a fresh pair of lungs testing their capabilities. They all looked at one another, excited. They could not believe that it was finally happening.

Time passed sluggishly slow. Remus had no way of telling how long it was from the moment they first heard the newly-born screaming to when the door to the maternity ward opened, letting out a tall figure in lime-green robes.

"You can come in now, you lot," the Healer-in-charge said from the door. "They're ready for you."

All those sitting shot to their feet and filed through the door, Sirius barging his way in first. They were led down a pristine corridor and then through a wide doorway, beyond which lay Lily on a hospital bed, her red hair soaked with sweat, looking exhausted and perhaps a little lightheaded with whatever the Healers had given her to ease the pain. But she was smiling, and holding a small bundle in her arms, with James sitting protectively by her side, his hand touching her arm.

They all crowded around the bed, trying to catch a glimpse of the youngest Potter. Grinning almost manically, James took the baby from his wife and held him so they could see. The yet unnamed baby was fast asleep, a small, fuzzy tuft of black hair covering his scalp. He was so _tiny_.

"Dear Merlin," Keira said, "he _does_ look like James, the poor thing."

"This is our son," James said proudly, stating the obvious, while glaring at his cousin who grinned at him.

"So… what's the little tyke's name, then?" Sirius asked, changing the subject, his eyes bright, losing no time. "It's Sirius, isn't it?"

"No, Padfoot," James said, mildly disgusted, to the amusement of all present.

"It's not Remus, is it?" Sirius said, affronted.

"No, Padfoot. It's not that either."

"_Peter?!_"

"For Merlin's sake, Sirius," Lily finally said, temper overcoming her exhaustion. "What gave you _any_ idea that I would let _my_ boy be named after any of _you_ three? He has enough bad examples set for him without him trying to 'live up to his name' so to say."

"Then what _is_ his name?" Sirius asked petulantly.

"Harry," Lily said with pride. "Harry James Potter."

**Did you like it? Did you? **_**Did you?**_** Then tell me all about it! (Even if you didn't like it :D).**

**In the next chapter: Things are taking a darker turn yet again, Remus is once again sent on a covert mission for the Order, and old enemies are coming back…**

**Wait for Sunday, and the new chapter… **_**Fall of the Angels**_**…**

**-Star of the North**


	45. Fall of the Angels

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Again, this was a close call. Was sick over the weekend and really didn't feel like doing anything – but since it was already pre-written – here you go!

And last note before you go on to the chapter – again, to all those who left anonymous reviews, to which I can't reply – thank you very much! Even though I can't reply individually to your wonderful reviews – know that they are very much appreciated!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Forty Five - Fall of the Angels**

Harry James Potter was an incredibly cheerful child, who, from the moment of his birth, was spoilt rotten. He had two loving parents, two doting grandparents, one adoring once-removed cousin, one devoted godfather, two affectionate sort-of uncles, and three fond sort-of aunts. Admittedly he also had a not-so-loving aunt, but no one was talking about her. From the moment of his arrival home, he was hardly out of someone's arms. Luckily enough, he was also good-tempered and therefore did not wail much when taken away from his mother.

It seemed as though a new light had come into the lives of everyone connected to the Potters. Suddenly their little flat was filled with visitors day and night. Even the Muggle neighbours, who had no idea who their young neighbours really were, came by to congratulate them and wish them all the luck in the world. Suddenly it seemed as though the world was not as dark as it was the day before Harry's birth.

From the moment the Potters brought their baby son home, the place changed entirely. Instead of the tidy, clean place that it used to be, there were toys everywhere – balls and soft, stuffed toys, bells and blankets and things that they little boys would not need for months to come yet. Freshly laundered nappies hung everywhere to dry, and the bookcases were full of books with theories about child-rearing.

Harry did not do much at first, just ate and slept and gurgled happily whenever his mother would take him up in her arms with little cries of joy, or when his father would hold him gently and with that constantly foolish look of someone immensely proud of his work.

Sadly enough, the euphoria surrounding the Potters and their friends did not last long. It was halfway through November, and Lily and James were handling their son's first illness, when the summons came for everyone to gather at Headquarters.

Somewhat bewildered, they all arrived at the appointed time. Some faces were missing, but Remus assumed they were out on missions, working to further the Order cause as always. Lily and James were there without Harry, which made Remus tilt his head to the side in a silent question as he approached them.

"Left him with my parents," Lily said softly just before Dumbledore raised his hand for silence. They both looked incredibly tired, and Remus guessed that Harry had kept them awake throughout the previous night.

"I'm afraid I have bad news," Dumbledore said, and all whispering around him ceased immediately. "Fabian and Gideon are dead."

Remus froze and knew that around him people had a wide range of reactions – from broken wails, to anger. Though it was not unheard of for members of the Order to be gravely wounded and out of commission for weeks and even months, it was the first time anyone had actually died, and to be quite honest with himself, Remus had never expected the first to be one of the courageous brothers, let alone both. There was always something about those two that made you think they were immortal.

Red-headed, and almost as hot-tempered as Lily on a bad day, they knew how to enjoy life. They were almost like Sirius in that respect, though Remus sincerely hoped that when Sirius would reach their age he would be a lot more mature than them. Every night at the flat they shared together was like a party and there was no girl they could not get had they wished to have her. They were kind, brave, sometimes rash, but always loyal and friendly. They always behaved as though nothing could bring them down. As though they could never be killed.

But now they were dead. He could not believe it. Had it been anyone but Dumbledore telling them this, he, and everyone around him, would have snorted and taken it as a very bad joke. But the seriousness in the old Headmaster's eyes and the way his mouth remained in a grim line told him that this was no joke. They were truly dead and they were not coming back. The Order has suffered a mighty blow.

"Were they… on a mission?" someone finally asked, perhaps Caradoc Dearborn.

Dumbledore shook his head. "Ambushed. On their way home from the Ministry. They fought bravely, but they were overcome."

No one said a word, because there was nothing else to say. It was unthinkable, but it had happened and now they had to continue with their lives as though nothing had happened. Somewhere behind him, someone started to weep.

"Friends," Dumbledore continued, his voice shaking a little before he could master it again, "there is no use denying that this is a great tragedy to us all, and to the wizarding world as whole, but we must remember that if it wasn't for the brothers' efforts – for all our efforts – many good people, both magic and Muggle, would not be alive today. For myself, this is the only thanks I need, and for that reason, I will continue fighting – until Voldemort himself his dead – or until I am.

"Thank you for coming here today. That is all. Remus and Marlene? If you would be so kind as to join me before you leave?"

Marlene McKinnon and Remus exchanged glances, before Remus turned to bid his friends goodbye and joined the woman who was already rapidly approaching Dumbledore.

"Remus," the old man greeted tiredly, obviously more exhausted than he let on, "Marlene, I wanted to talk to you alone because I want you to go to their funeral as the Order's representative. I can't possibly leave the school at this time, so I'm sending the two of you as representatives. I'm sure all of our members would like to come, but we can't risk the entire Order over this. Will you do it?"

What could either of them possibly say to that? Of course they would go. While Remus was not really close to the brothers, he respected and honoured them a lot and was relieved to know that he could pay them last respects. He was certain that Marlene, who had known them back in their schooldays, felt even more so. He nodded. "I'll go."

"So will I," Marlene said fiercely, wiping errant tears from her cheeks.

"I'm guessing we're not supposed to make any contact with one another at the funeral?" Remus then asked, looking at Dumbledore questioningly.

"No. There must be no contact between you. We can't endanger the integrity of the Order right now. Especially now."

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On the day of the funeral, Marlene and Remus arrived at the cemetery, both wearing simple black robes. They came separately and did not stand by one another, but their eyes kept meeting above the tearful crowd that came to pay last respects to the Prewett brothers. While Marlene may not have been best friends with them, Remus realised that their deaths, to her, was rather close to what would happen if any of _his_ friends' lives would be claimed in the fight against Voldemort. He wished he could stand by her and offer her a shoulder to cry on, but Dumbledore's warning served its purpose. He would stay to his side of the gathering, and she to hers.

Though Remus knew he should be crying together with everyone else, the tears seemed to refuse to come. His eyes were dry. There had been too many deaths; too many lives given in the fight against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Gideon and Fabian were not the first, nor would they be the last. The Light had lost too many members already, too many friends. It was a miracle that all the Marauders were still alive and well despite their being right in the centre of everything dangerous and life-threatening.

As the funeral progressed, his eyes kept shifting this way and that. The Death Eaters were not above disrupting the funerals of those who opposed them so vehemently. He hoped that this time everything will go smoothly. He looked at the faces of the mourners, family members and friends, colleagues and simply people who had heard the story and wanted to show that they appreciated what the brothers had fought and died for.

A redheaded family stood very close to the freshly dug graves. Remus vaguely recognized the woman as Gideon and Fabian's eldest sister, Molly, whom he had only seen in pictures at the brothers' flat. She was a portly lady with a brood of sombre little ones, the youngest a babe around Harry's age. She did not wail, though she certainly looked the type. Silent tears fell down her cheeks as her children clutched at her skirts, the older ones crying openly and loudly, understanding what had happened, understanding the tragedy.

Remus felt something welling up inside him as he watched them. Fabian and Gideon would never have children of their own. They would never get to see their nephews grow up and become admirable men just like them. And it could happen to _him_. It could happen to Sirius and Peter. Worse, it could happen to Lily and James, who had _Harry_. Harry could grow up an orphan, not knowing what wonderful people had given him life. He felt wetness in his eyes, and then, slowly, tears started sliding down his cheeks. The dam was broken, and all the pain and fear he felt upon hearing about the Prewetts' deaths were let loose.

Some sympathetic soul to his side handed him a handkerchief and, with a patting hand on his shoulder, said, "There, there, my boy. There, there. They died like heroes. Just as they had lived."

But what was the point of dying like heroes? Why could they not have lived happily ever after like all the heroes of fairy tales? Why could they not have emerged victorious? It was not fair. They did not deserve it. They fought for the side of good.

The good should always triumph.

But that was a lie, was it not? Everywhere he looked, there was only death and suffering. Death and suffering brought about by Lord Voldemort, the darkest wizard Britain had ever spawned, and everywhere he looked, good was crumbling away. People turning on their own families and friends, people dying. Good people, like Fabian and Gideon, who were brave, and funny, and loved their life.

Never in his life had he known a darker hour as the one he spent at the cemetery, listening to their bothers' older sister quietly weeping.

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The summons caught Remus at his parents' home, two days after the funeral. He had come for a visit, taking advantage of the fact that he was, once again, without a job. Hastily explaining to his surprised mother that Sirius may have found a new job for him through one of his friends at work, he Disapparated, appearing as close to Hogwarts as the wards permitted.

To say he was surprised to be summoned again to Dumbledore's office so shortly after what had happened was an underestimation. He really did not feel up to anything at the moment. Dumbledore seemed to notice that upon Remus' entrance to his office, for he sighed heavily and, after motioning for him to sit down on a chair opposite his own, began with an apology.

"I'm sorry I have to do this to you so soon after Gideon and Fabian's deaths, Remus, but I have to ask of you to return to Waverly." Dumbledore's face was sombre as he spoke. The twinkle that Remus was so used to seeing in his eyes back in the Marauders' Hogwarts days appeared less and less these days and was almost entirely subdued since Gideon and Fabian had died.

"May I ask what the rush is?" he asked quietly. It had been quite a while since his previous mission to the Waverly farmstead and he had thought he would never have to go there again.

"A rumour," Dumbledore replied without hesitation. "I trust you're familiar with the name Fenrir Greyback?"

Remus' blood ran cold. Fenrir Greyback had been the werewolf who had decided William Lupin had offended him and therefore bit Remus all those years ago. For years he had wondered how someone could be so cruel, but all the rumours about Greyback to have filtered his way pointed out the fact that he was simply an evil bastard with a penchant for children. He nodded slowly, his gaze not leaving Dumbledore's.

"As you probably know, Greyback has no interest in ideology. Ever since he was turned some thirty years back, his only wish in life was to cause as much pain and suffering in the wizarding - _and_ non-wizarding - community. You were only one of his many victims. He has a personal, deep and unrelenting vendetta against all innocents - particularly children.

"And now it is said that he has taken Voldemort's side. Apparently Voldemort offered Greyback free range against anyone who opposes him. You have to admit this is a serious threat for all those who work against Voldemort and have children to catch Greyback's eye."

"So why Waverly?" Remus asked when Dumbledore paused.

"Because the rumour says that Greyback has come to Waverly. While by your report I have cause to believe that as long as Cassandra remains leader of the werewolves in the farmstead, the werewolves as a whole would not join Voldemort's side, I doubt that she will remain in that position long once Greyback is there. Not with Kensington siding with Voldemort to begin with. And we have no way of knowing what had happened there ever since you left the farmstead nearly a year ago.

"Even worse than that, the legislation against werewolves in the past couple of months – something which you have had the unfortunate chance of experiencing on your own flesh – has worsened. Most werewolves have been driven into hiding, and those that haven't live in a very miserable reality. You know that to be true, Remus. I've been in contact with your mother, and she's very worried about your inability to maintain a job for more than a month at a time, especially considering how bright you are. The situation you are experiencing drives men and women weaker than you to side with the one person who seems to offer them what they want most. Freedom. I can't offer them that. Not the way they want it. Not the way _I_ want to.

"The ministry has my hands tied. They give me certain leeway regarding certain subjects, but the rights of the lycanthropes is not one of those subjects, no matter how I fought against it. I need to know what's going on in Waverly. I need to know how far Voldemort's hand reaches. I need to know whether the werewolves of Britain can still be saved. Will you help me?"

Dumbledore knew the answer. He _always_ knew the answer. There was no way Remus could say no. Not when he used the words he knew touched Remus' sorest spots.

Sometimes he absolutely hated the old man. Admired him – yes; respected him – most definitely; owed him what he had achieved so far in life – certainly. But sometimes, _sometimes_, he just wanted to wrap his hands around that thin neck and _wring_ it.

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Waverly did not change much since he had last been there. Still rundown, with the garden even more overgrown than before. The smell around it had not improved, either, which was surprising, for he assumed all the other werewolves had noses just as sensitive as his. But apparently, they no longer cared.

There was one major change this time, however. No one called out on him until he entered the hall, where several people who had remembered him from his last stay seemed to blink in recognition. There were no sentries. No one demanded to know who he was. This was a sign that things have changed in this place. Remus did not think they changed for the better. However, knowing he was watched by those around him now that he was inside, he reached into his bag and started taking out whatever he had shoved in when preparing for his mission. He guessed that this trait had not changed since the last time. He would still be torn into pieces if he withheld anything from the general population of Waverly.

No one asked him what he was doing there, or why had he come back. His image as a wanderer still held, apparently.

But he did not wander aimlessly here like the others. He had a mission. He had to find out who was in control in the farmstead.

It did not take long.

He almost did not recognize her. The once proud, strong female now looked twenty years older, broken, without spirit. She walked lifelessly, and all the other werewolves kept their distance from her. She was a leper. An outcast. No one would stand for her. No one would stand by her side. The woman who had made Waverly what it was, was not welcomed there anymore.

And yet, as Remus discovered, she lingered. She could not let go of the place that had been her home, fortress and castle for so many years. Despite knowing that her life would surely end the moment Greyback had no more use of her and whatever knowledge she still retained, she remained where he could easily scoop her out. Alone and isolated.

He wanted to be sick.

Though he tried several times over the next couple of days to catch her eye, it seemed as though every time her eyes slid over him, she failed to really see who it was she was looking at. She might as well have been administered the Kiss for all the life that was in her.

And so he did what he was best at, what had had made his speciality back at Hogwarts. He watched, and he listened. For nearly two weeks he stayed there, and with a gradually increasing feeling of dread, knew that every minute he remained there made his death come closer. The general atmosphere was clear. Everyone sided with Greyback, and Remus had the horrible feeling that he knew why – and that he knew why Cassandra had not been killed yet.

Greyback wanted to make an example out of her, to let the others see and fear.

The only hope he had left was that he could somehow convince Cassandra to muster up what was left of their former loyalty and go against Greyback and Kensington. If not for the side of Light, then at least for the pack, which would surely be used by Voldemort as cannon-fodder, sent to the frontline to be slaughtered and make way for his loyal Death Eaters.

He came to that conclusion all too late.

He just about made up his mind to go and try to talk to her, when the stumpy figure of Kensington, the former Alpha male who had given up his place in favour of Greyback, approached her, flanked by two underlings who both looked to be in their prime, despite the bad conditions of Waverly. Their faces were grim. Kensington's was ecstatic. Remus had a bad feeling about it. It looked as though the two underlings knew that something entirely unwholesome was about to start.

It looked as though Cassandra as well noticed that something was different, since she slowly raised her head, spotting the trio coming her way.

For the first time since Remus had arrived at the farmstead, there was a spark of life in Cassandra. She was frightened. She began backing away, but at a swift clicking of the fingers from Kensington, the two other werewolves flanked her either side and closed in on her, with Kensington advancing on her. Around them, other werewolves just looked away, uncaring, apathetic. Only Remus kept his eyes on them, but even he had to do so covertly. It would not do to draw attention to himself just now, no matter how much he pitied Cassandra.

"Cassie, love," Kensington said in his nasal voice, "I'm afraid the time has finally come."

"No," the low, cracked voice came out almost in a growl, making the man laugh.

"Now, now, Cassie. You knew this was going to happen. You've had your chance to escape, and you chose to remain. And now we have to… _prepare_ you, for Lord Greyback's arrival. He… _specifically_ requested for you."

The way Kensington said it made Remus' blood freeze in his veins. What was going on?

Before his eyes, the two underlings took hold of Cassandra's arms and started dragging her away. She weakly resisted, but it was obvious that she no longer had the strength of spirit to try more. No matter what was in store for her, the fight was already lost. The worst has already been done.

He watched as they dragged her broken body up the stairs to the second floor. He continued watching for a while, as around him others continued with their daily routine, uncaring that their former leader was taken violently from their midst. He went on watching until he saw the three males coming down the stairs, Kensington looking pleased, and the other two expressionless. He still watched half an hour later, when he came to a decision.

He had to know what was going on. He could not let Cassandra just disappear that way without a trace, hated, despised, forgotten. Then he got up to his feet and seemingly aimlessly wandered around the hall , stopping every now and then to exchange a word with one of the less apathetic people, bending to take half a rotten apple from the food pile before throwing it away once more, stopping by a window to look outside, until, finally, after what felt like forever, he found himself at the bottom of the staircase.

Slowly, glancing around him all the time, he climbed up the stairs, hoping the creaks of the wooden flight were masked in the general chaos around the hall. He kept to the walls and continued creeping upwards, until at long last he could slip around the corner, where he could no longer be seen. Still careful, in case there was still someone up there, he started going through the many rooms of the second floor, looking for her.

He found Cassandra tied to a chair in a backroom up on the second floor. The ropes on her wrists and ankles were tightened cruelly and dug into the skin. Her head was down, her hair falling around her face, obscuring it from view.

"Cassandra?" he spoke softly, approaching her, all the while keeping a nervous ear open for noises outside the room.

The woman started violently at the voice, obviously waiting for the impending violence to come, only to relax once she associated voice with name.

"What are you doing here, John?" she asked quietly. "If Kensington finds you here…"

"Then I'll be in great trouble," he agreed, kneeling beside her. "But I needed to see what was going on here. The moment I saw the changes that occurred here since I left again on my journeys… I have to get you out of here."

She let out a bitter laugh. So bitter, in fact, that he hardly associated the sound with laughter at all. And as she laughed, blood trickled down from her mouth. He estimated that without medical attention, the once proud female who had once taken her under her wing would die within two or three days.

"Get me out of here?" she spoke, her body still shaking with humourless mirth. "Get me out where? Do you think that the Ministry doesn't know my name? That they don't associate it with Waverly, Kensington and Greyback? What do you think will happen if – _if_ – you manage to get me to St Mungo's? A Kiss is what I will get – and that's if I'm lucky!"

"I have friends – they can keep you safe-"

"Safe? Where is _safe_ these days, John? Where _is_ safe? And get me out of here – through a multitude of pack-less wolves, howling for blood, no matter whose. They will take you down in seconds, you miserable weakling, and then they will tear me to shreds and make a gift of both our skins to Greyback!"

Remus turned his gaze away from her at this. "Greyback has already taken more from me than I was willing to give. I will not give anything else to him – not even my skin."

In the silence that suddenly filled the room, Cassandra's laboured breathing was all that was heard. Then she broke the silence, whispering, "You're one of Greyback's children."

"_Victims_," he spat out, not bothering to keep the hate from his voice. "Never call us his _children_. All of us, we were his victims. More than sixty of us over the years. I've checked in the Registry's Archive once I was old enough to understand and know who it was. I was one of the luckier ones. I lived."

Sixty seven known victims of Fenrir Greyback. None of them older than eight years. Less than twenty had survived his attack. Less than ten had managed to live a relatively normal life afterwards. Six of the survivors had killed themselves in subsequent years. Four had been victims of persecution of their own families and friends. Two were serving life in Azkaban.

Remus refused to become part of the statistic. He was his own man. He was a Marauder.

He was Remus Lupin. A werewolf, and damn proud of what he had accomplished over the years.

Finally, it seemed that Cassandra could not bear the silence anymore. More than that. It seemed as though she had come to a conclusion.

"You have to get out of here, John," she rasped, her voice barely passing the barrier of her filthy hair. "You're not like us. You've never been. You tried hard, but I could see your heart really wasn't in it. You're one of the lucky ones, aren't you? One of the werewolves who were lucky enough to have caring families and perhaps even friends. I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you, but you reminded me so much of my younger self, that I didn't have the heart to turn you in to the others. I don't know why you came here in the first place, and I don't know why you've returned, and I'm past caring. You have to get out of here, now. Greyback is coming. And once he's here, there will be no going back. GO!"

"But-"

"Do you want me to rip your throat out myself, John?! Go! You think I wouldn't do it? Think again! I'm the toughest alpha female these miserable, worthless creatures had ever had! They may have cast me out and sided with Kensington and Greyback, but I still have my pride and I can still kill you if I so wish it! So go before I change my mind! Go!"

No matter what had been done to her, Cassandra still had her spirit, and most certainly her pride. Remus knew she was serious.

"I'm going now," he said softly, but before backing away, he put his mouth close to her ear, and did something that he probably should not have, but was the only thing he could think of to make her imminent departure of the living world a little easier. He told her someone still cared about her.

He gave her his name.

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As Remus snuck to the back of the hall, always almost hugging the wall, something inside him gave a painful jerk. He knew he will never see her again. That unique creature, so fierce and yet so kind, so violent and yet so gentle, this was her end. Her horrible, bloody end. The fact that they had taken her there, beat her and tied her up, clearly, without doubt, meant that Greyback intended to finish her off. There was nothing he could do. No matter how much he wanted to.

He hated that helpless feeling, knowing that he could not bring a stop to that madness.

Before he could reach the doors, they banged open, and he was forced to flatten himself against the wall, both for fear that it was Greyback, and also to prevent himself from being injured. His first assumption was correct. The unmistakable figure of Fenrir Greyback, all scraggly, matted hair and beard, and filthy robes, came through, surrounded by an excited gaggle of werewolves.

All of a sudden, all of the previously indifferent people in the hall got to their feet and started cheering, laughing, and calling Greyback's name in near-worship. The sight of it made Remus sick to his stomach.

Greyback let the commotion last for a while before roaring for everyone to shut their mouths. They obeyed immediately, but Remus had the feeling that under all the worship and adoration, what those wretched people really felt, was fear. They all knew who Greyback was, and after what had happened to Cassandra, it was obvious that no one would resist.

"Friends," the man-shaped monster called, giving an especially ironic twist to that single word, "today, I am here to give you two lessons, before I leave for the Dark Lord's side once more. You see," he said, dragging a jagged nail over the rough cheek of one of the men closest to him, drawing out blood, "I've heard that in my absence, you have become a little… wayward. I thought I should discourage that. That's why I brought my young friend here." He brought his hand back, and with a violent movement, pushed to the front of the crowd someone whom Remus would never have called young at first sight.

The man looked vaguely familiar. Looking at him objectively, and trying to look past the wrinkles, the two scars crossing on his cheek and the sour expression, he was possibly two or three years older than Remus himself, but it seemed as though life had not been kind to him. The burden of the werewolf had been too much for him. He looked twice his age. As he slowly turned to face the other werewolves together with Greyback and the rest of his company, his eyes were dead. There was no emotion in those eyes.

"You see," Greyback said mockingly, "young Hale here thought there was some sort of possibility that humans and werewolves could coexist. Seems like some childhood acquaintance of his filled his head with some nonsense about that option. But we fixed you right up, didn't we, Hale?"

The subdued man's eyes stared at the floor. His body did not move, but his lips looked as though he was mumbling something under his breath.

"See," Greyback continued with the same cruel, mocking voice, "all I had to do was kill his little brother, and after that _no one_ wanted poor old Hale around. After all, werewolves can be _so_ unstable."

Hale, Hale... Where did Remus hear that name before? It brought something to mind, from years back. Bright, closely cropped lawns, a little lake, and its water sparkling invitingly, brightly-coloured buildings... Then those images were sharply replaced with those of a cell-like room, padded cuffs and thick chains, panic, pain and blood. Willow Gate Camp. It had been years ago, but he still remembered.

"No…" he could barely voice it. "_Martin_?"

This man… no. Not a man anymore. _Creature_. This wretched creature had once been a boy with hopes and dreams. A boy to whom, unwittingly, Remus himself had given hope. Hope which Greyback had maliciously destroyed. Remus felt as though he was about to be sick.

He had to get out of there. Now, before anyone could suspect something was not quite right with that John character. Now, before Martin would somehow spot him, recognise him as who he were, and call him out. He had no doubt that this is what would happen, should he be identified. Martin had no more pity left in him, least of all for someone whom he had known for one summer years before.

With the start of tears blinding his eyes, he backed away from the crowd, as slowly and inconspicuously as he possibly could. In front of him, Greyback was still cackling about how he had ruined Martin Hale's life, as he would do to any werewolf who thought life could be different, and that werewolves could be loved by normal human beings. As he would do to anyone who would dare oppose him.

And then, at long last, he turned to the main part of his show. First he had Martin led away, and then he turned to face the crowd, his pointed teeth glinting in the light, giving him an even more demented appearance.

"Now," he said, "where is my beloved Cassandra?"

At these words Remus finally managed to slink away from the crowd, silently turning his back on the assembled, bloodthirsty throng and running away. He knew it to be running away. He did not have the courage to stand by her side. He did not have the courage to die. He was not Gideon or Fabian, nor was he James or Sirius. He was afraid. He was afraid for his own life. He wanted to get out of there before he could give himself away.

He was almost half a mile away from the farmstead when he started hearing the screams. Shutting his ears and shutting his heart, he kept going forward.

He had to get away. He had to forget.

Forget he had even known anyone called Cassandra, and that he had left her to die.

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He knocked on the door to the Potters' flat, waiting patiently as he heard light footsteps coming nearer the door. Then the door opened, revealing Lily, with her red hair pulled almost entirely out of her messy ponytail, with little Harry safely lodged on her hip.

"Remus!" she said delightedly. "Welcome! Come in, come in."

She hurriedly let him enter the flat and in seconds he was sitting on a sofa in the Potter sitting room and Lily was making a pot of tea in the kitchen, leaving Harry in his care. The cheerful, friendly child was not at all afraid of him, despite not having seen him for the past two weeks or so. He was happily sitting on his lap, chewing on a brightly-coloured plastic ring relentlessly. Remus smiled happily. There was nothing he loved as much as watching the little boy.

"I see that he still recognizes you without any trouble," Lily's voice interrupted him. He looked up to see her coming with a tray laden with tea and a few slices of cake. "James will be a bit late today, so I hope you won't mind waiting until he gets back from work."

"Not at all. You're my friend, too, Lily, remember?"

She laughed. "I know. It's just that I'm so used to watching you interact every time that you come for a visit that I'm a bit out of practice in conducting my own conversations. You're all too amusing when you're all together."

"All together..." Remus sighed. "It's been a while. Can't remember when as the last time all four of us were together. It's like we're drifting away, you know?"

"Stop talking nonsense, Remus," she said sharply. "Just because each of you is busy with your own occupations doesn't mean you're drifting apart. Now, when did you get back? You weren't supposed to be back for another week or so."

"Late last night. A person I knew from Willow Gate - oh, that's a sort of summer camp for young werewolves - a person I knew from there appeared so it was a little unsafe for me to stay any longer. He could have exposed me and then I'd be dead. I'm telling you, Lily, I've never been this scared in my life."

Which was true. Though he had been in dangerous situations before, he now realised that he had never been as close to getting himself killed as in that moment when Martin's gaze swept over him. He did not know if the man had recognized him, and he would probably never would, but at that moment, when that emotionless gaze of someone who had lost all hope met his own, he knew that if any word would come out of his mouth, he would be dead. His heart had been near explosion for that moment before the gaze departed and Martin turned away.

Lily seemed to understand that, for she immediately changed the subject. They had a pleasant afternoon together, with Harry passing hands repeatedly, or crawling on the floor beside them. However, as the clock on the sitting room's wall hit six and the minutes began to pass, it seemed to Remus that his friend was a little ill-at-ease.

It was around seven, when Lily was preparing Harry's food that she finally revealed that she was not as calm as she appeared. "I wonder where James could be," she said. "He was supposed to be home almost an hour ago. He was on shift since six this morning. I thought he'd be here by now." Her voice was light, but Remus knew very well just how afraid she was. James was normally punctual these days, and now he was late...

"Don't worry so much," he said consolingly. "There was probably some sort of emergency at the hospital and he was delayed. It happens."

"Yeah..." she mumbled, but did not seem too convinced. Unfortunately, it also seemed that Harry picked up on his mother's troubled mood, and insistently refused any of the food she offered him, closing his mouth determinedly and turning his face away from the spoon, smearing his cheeks with the food, causing him to wail.

All in all, the floo-call from Wren could not have come at a worst moment.

"Lily? Are you home?" her voice came from the small fireplace in the Potters' kitchen.

"Just a second, Wren," Lily said almost impatiently, as she tried to shush Harry.

"Lily…"

"In a minute, Wren!" Lily said over little Harry's cries.

"Lily, please…"

Turning sharply to face their friend's face in the fireplace, both Lily and Remus could see that Wren's eyes were sad and that she was barely holding back tears.

"James-" Lily began anxiously, her eyes unbelievingly wide. Remus could not blame her for jumping into conclusions - not after all her close counters with death - and James was supposed to be home almost an hour before… but, had it been James, Wren would not have waited so long before speaking.

"Is safe," Wren said, her voice soft. "He's on his way as we speak. One of our colleagues contacted him just now."

"Then who-"

"Your parents."

There was a moment of complete silence before, "No. No, I refuse to believe this," Lily said, shaking her head, the spoon she was holding out for Harry shaking uncontrollably, spilling its contents on the clean floor. "Voldemort could not have possibly gotten to them-"

"It wasn't Voldemort, was it, Wren?" Remus asked, gently plucking the spoon out of her hand and speaking to the woman in the flames.

Wren shook her head. "A car accident. We keep records of the families of Muggle-born wizards and witches, in case they cannot get in touch. The minute Lily's parents appeared on the parchment…" she shrugged. "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, Lily. I truly am. There was nothing anyone could do - magic or Muggle."

Carefully helping the shocked Lily to sit down, Remus turned to face Wren. He kneeled beside her and in a low voice inquired as to where the bodies could be found and where was James.

"The St Andrew's Hospital morgue. It's a community hospital not far from where Mr. and Mrs. Evans lived," the young woman said softly. "James is on his way _there_ as we speak. He didn't know whether Lily would be in any shape to identify the bodies, and I don't think she is either. Would you stay there with her?"

"No!" Lily's voice suddenly interrupted their conversation. "I'm going to see my parents! I won't believe you until… until… until…" her voice died, but Remus understood what she was trying to convey. She will not believe until she saw them with her own two eyes.

"Lily," Wren said quite firmly. "You are in no shape to Apparate at the moment, and the hospital is in a completely Muggle area. If you splinch yourself… You can't go. Not now. Not like this."

"But, I-"

"No, Lily!" she said sharply. "Stay where you are. James is handling this. You can trust him. For once in your life do as you're told and _stay where you are_." This was not Lily's friend of nine years speaking. This was a Healer, ordering a hysterical woman to sit still and calm down. Her tone brooked no nonsense, and the shocked Lily was in no condition to argue. She slumped heavily in her chair and just stared at the floor, tears streaming from her eyes.

Letting her be for the time being, knowing there is nothing he could do to comfort her just now except for being there for her, Remus finished feeding Harry, who had calmed down by now, cleaned him up, changed his diaper and put him to sleep. He put a charm around his bed to alert them if anything was amiss with the baby, and then returned to the kitchen. Lily was still there, still staring at the same spot.

"Lily?" he tried.

There was no reply from her. He attempted to get her attention several more times, but failed. After an hour had passed and still there was no reaction from Lily, he quietly went to the bathroom and searched the cabinet. There he found what he was looking for: a glass bottle, filled with thick, purple liquid, clearly marked 'Sleeping Potion' in James' handwriting. Going back to the kitchen, he filled a cup with the potion and gently fed it to the unresisting Lily. It would be best for her now to simply sleep and not think.

It did not take long for the potion to take affect. Lily simply passed from slumping and staring at the floor to slumping with her eyes closed. Once he was certain she was deeply asleep, he picked her up from the chair and placed her on the sofa, bringing a blanket from the bedroom and covering her up. Then he sat to wait.

He was dozing himself when he heard the lock turning and the front door opening. Getting up hurriedly he came to greet his friend. James looked incredibly drained.

"Ah, Moony," he said softly, passing a hand over his eyes tiredly. "Thanks for staying here. I know it couldn't've been easy."

"Nonsense, Prongs," Remus replied firmly. "I'd do anything for you two, you know that. Especially when something like this happens. And besides, it was no trouble at all. But, if you don't mind my saying, you don't look so good yourself."

"Petunia was there," James said sadly, though with a note of annoyance in his voice. "She arrived shortly after I did and began shouting the minute she laid her eyes on me. The staff barely let me explain that I was their son-in-law and that Lily couldn't come due to the fact that we have a very young child and live quite a distance away and that she can't drive. When they asked why Petunia was calling me names… they almost didn't believe me that Lily and Petunia just don't get along. They practically tried to forcefully kick me out until they found a photograph of Lily, Harry and I in Marcia's purse. I was _this_ close to pulling my wand out."

He glanced at the practically comatose Lily, lying on the sofa before continuing. "It was something awful, Moony. They were just on their way home from visiting Petunia's family. A drunk driver lost control of his car and smashed right into their front. They... They were barely recognizable. Died instantly by the looks of it. I saw some terrible things in the past, working at St Mungo's, and on the field, but this..."

Remus could not possibly understand the full extent of what James had to go through that evening, seeing his in-laws, his beloved Lily's parents, so malformed and lifeless. At that moment he was even sorry for Petunia. Despite all her flaws, she was still Lily's sister.

"Shall I leave?" he asked after a moment. "I don't want to be a bother."

James smiled gratefully at him. "Thanks, mate. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm kicking you out, but-"

"Don't worry about it," Remus replied, clapping a hand on James' shoulder. "I'm always here to help, if you need me, all right? Keep in touch."

James nodded and with that Remus departed the flat, feeling horrible that he could not do anything else for his friend that had done so much for him in the past.

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Lily and James chose not to take Harry with them when they went to the funeral. In Lily's words, they did not want Harry to know about death so early on in his life. Traumas such as that tended to leave their marks in magic children more than they did in Muggle ones. And so the little, happy boy was left in the care of his godfather and his surrogate uncle. It was the first time Lily allowed the two to baby-sit her child and though they were quite ecstatic about a day with the first heir to the Marauders, Padfoot and Moony, acclaimed troublemakers, were afraid. They were afraid of a child only several months old.

This fear was not unfounded as it were. They both still remembered the infamous Mash Potatoes Incident, or _How the Marauders Made Complete Fools of Themselves_, as Lily liked to refer to it. Of course, back then Peter was around to take the brunt of Harry's terrifyingly accurate assault. Now it was just the two of them against one baby. Yes, it was quite accurate to say they were afraid.

As a matter of fact, Sirius was supposed to be watching Harry on his own, but he had called both his friends pleadingly, begging them to join him on this babysitting task. Peter had found some sort of convenient excuse with a look of absolute horror on his face, obviously not quite ready for a repeat of the Mash Potatoes Incident, but Remus agreed, if only to stop Sirius from looking so pathetic and claiming he'll never try pranking Remus ever again.

As the door closed behind the somber Lily and James, Remus and Sirius exchanged glances and then, as one, turned to look at the innocent-seeming boy who was staring at them with his head tilted slightly to one side.

The Marauders were afraid. _Very_ afraid.

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_Splat_.

"Take cover!" Sirius hollered from under the dining table where he was currently taking shelter. "Incoming!"

_Splat_.

Remus slid to the side and ducked into the pantry just as a particularly large piece of tomato hit the wall where his head had been seconds before with a loud squelching sound. Seconds later he emerged suitably armed with a large pot lid held protectively in front of his face and throat.

_Splat_.

"Now, now, Harry," he said gently, looking above the rim of the lid at the baby looking at him through big green eyes with a wide smile on his lips. "If we're done eating, we don't throw our food around, do we? Especially not on peo-"

_Splat_.

What – hopefully - must have been the last piece of tomato hit the rim of the lid with dreadful accuracy, making it ricochet over the metal and settle itself wetly in Remus' hair. And now that he ran out of ammunition, Harry began making little sounds of distress, raising his hands and trying to get out of his highchair.

"I think it means he want to get out of the chair," Sirius said, crawling out from under the table. "What are we supposed to do next?"

"Wash him, I think," Remus said dubiously as both men looked at the mess covering the kitchen floor, walls, counters and appliances, not to mention the two of them and Harry himself, who had cream cheese smeared on his face and bits of chicken in his hair. They once again exchanged a look before Remus resignedly said, "Fine, I'll wash him, but you change his nappy."

It did not take long for it to dawn on Sirius that he had drawn the short straw of the bargain.

Washing Harry was not too bad – that is, once he stopped crying and cooperated when Remus instructed him to look up. He even began giggling when Remus wrapped him in a warm, fluffy towel they had left by the heating for him while he was being washed. But then came Sirius' turn, and things did not seem as sunny anymore.

"He peed on me!" the dark-haired man exclaimed, backing away. "Is he supposed to pee on people at this age?"

All he got in reply was Remus' muffled laughter – until somehow he had gotten aimed at as well.

Then came bedtime, with one story chasing another and then a good bout of crying when he was finally put to bed for the night, and both men looked at one another, swearing they will never have children of their own.

All in all, when they heard faint pops outside the house, they sighed in relief, knowing that Harry's parents would soon be there to save them. But the person who came through the door was in no condition to help anyone, let alone herself. Lily was crying and hurried to the bedroom, slamming the door after her.

"I will _kill_ her!" James growled as he entered after the sobbing Lily. His normally clear face was a thunderstorm and his muscles were bunched, as though he itched to hit someone.

"What happened?" Remus asked in alarm as they sound of Lily's footsteps retreating into the bedroom where her son was safely asleep faded.

"That-that-that stupid _Muggle_!" James managed with difficulty. "That ignorant, stupid, selfish, heartless _Muggle_!"

"Prongs?" Sirius asked, his tone in truth repeating Remus' worded question.

"Petunia," James said in a way of explanation.

That was all the two needed to know. Both their countenances darkened. Lily's sister was already far into their black books. It did not really matter if she did another thing to their friend, but if something hurt Lily _that_ badly, they wanted to know.

"At the middle of the funeral, right before Lily was going to go and say a few words, that stupid _bitch_ starts shrieking about what a freak Lily is and how that accident should have taken her and me and _Harry_ instead of their parents. And she went on about how abnormal we were and how they should never let indecent people such as us go anywhere _near_ funerals of good, honest people like _her_ parents. She just wouldn't shut up - and that stupid pig of a husband of hers just stands there and nods in affirmation of everything she says instead of calming her down and taking her away. Everyone just stood there, staring at her like she had grown an extra head, but she didn't give a damn, nor did that pig." He dropped to the sofa like a sack full of bricks, burying his face in his hands. "I could have killed them right then and there. I was on the verge of drawing my wand on them, but I had Lily to think about. I can't believe anyone could _do_ such a thing to her."

Indeed, Petunia Dursley would have to be one of the crueller human beings Remus ever came to contact with to do that to her own sister.

Brushing his hand through his hair, James sighed and sat absent-mindedly on one of the kitchen chairs, completely missing the fact that he had sat on some of Harry's dinner that had managed to escape the two Marauders' eyes when they started cleaning earlier. There was a lost look in his eyes, one that had been there all-too-often since they had left Hogwarts.

"I'm tired," he finally said after a while, his voice low.

"We'll leave," Sirius said hurriedly, starting to turn.

"That's… not what I meant, Padfoot," James said. "I'm tired of burying people I love and care about. And… I'm starting to fear that the next people I bury might be you, or Lily, or Harry, or that one of you might end up burying me." His hazel eyes had a faraway look in them as he stared at the gleaming pile of dishes drying on their wooden construction by the sink. His eyes were looking, but not seeing their environment.

Suddenly, the cheery, warm kitchen of the Potters seemed cold and gloomy.

"It's natural for you to feel this way, James," Sirius said softly, surprising the other two and most likely himself as well. "You just came from your in-laws funeral, and it is impossible to deny that we're living in dark, hard times, but there are always rays of light that can bright things up. Want to know what mine is?"

For a moment the kitchen was silent. Remus was looking contemplatively at his tall friend, wondering from where this bit of wisdom had come from. Sirius never seemed to be the deep type, but as his friend, Remus was familiar with his sudden outbursts of deepness. He wryly thought that he probably should not have been surprised.

As for James, he looked up at his friend, his eyes finally focusing. Silently, he waited for Sirius to continue, obviously grasping for something that will keep him from going mad with grief.

Sirius' handsome face split into a warm smile. Not the cheeky grin, or the evil smirk he was so well know for, but a true, right-from-the-heart smile that lit his entire face and showed a glimpse of the true Sirius Black carefully hidden under the façade of the dashing Marauder.

"It's Harry, and it's you, and Lily, and Moony and Wormtail, and Keira and the other girls. It's knowing that no matter what, no matter how dark things will get, I will always have you and the memories of the times we spent, spend and will spend together." He suddenly looked uncomfortable, as though he had said something that he hadn't exactly meant to reveal. He turned his face away from James and self-consciously rubbed the side of his neck with his fingers in a decidedly un-Sirius-like gesture. "That's what I think, anyway," he finished rather lamely.

Slowly, like the sun breaking from behind dark clouds, a smile began to appear on James' lips. Slowly turning into chuckles, and from there the way to a full-blown – if slightly hysterical – laughing fit was rather short.

"Ah, Padfoot," James finally said, "you're an absolute treasure sometimes, did you know that? Merlin, that was cheesy!"

Sirius seemed even more embarrassed, but his answering grin did not bear even a trace of self-mockery. For James, at least, things would be looking up quite soon.

But what about Lily?

As Remus walked up his parents' garden very late that night, not wanting to be scolded by Mrs. Lark for coming to her house so late, he pondered over Sirius' words. In truth, they echoed much of his own feelings. Even though things were so dark, friends and family members were lost and hope seemed so far away and impossible to reach, there were always those little rays of sunlight breaking through.

What was his own ray? Probably the same as Sirius', the same as James'. They all loved the same people and cared for the same people. It was part of their brotherhood. Part of their friendship.

He just hoped that Lily would come to see it that way as well. The broken-hearted sobs he and Sirius could still hear even after closing the flat's door behind them made it clear that it will be a long road yet before she could.

He stopped walking just outside the door and turned to look at the quiet, peaceful garden surrounding his parents' cottage. In the light of the gradually filling moon there was an eerie quality to the rustling bushes, the gravelled path and the meticulously cropped grass. It was a cold and dry night, the air clearer than it had been for weeks. Irrationally, he wondered if nature itself was giving the Evans couple its last respects.

Smiling sadly to himself, he took out his key and let himself in to his childhood home.

Time heals everything.

And, eventually, Lily, too, will heal.

**That was sad... and a seriously long chapter, but there really wasn't any other choice, and I'm sure all of you who are familiar with the series know that :( Anyway, I hoped you liked the chapter, and in any case – let me know your thoughts!**

**A note concerning the manner of Lily's parents' death****: we know from JK's interviews that the elder Potters were old when they had James – even in wizarding standards, I think, and so it was not hard to decide that his father would die a natural death out of old age, and that his mother would follow because she couldn't live without the husband that had been by her side for decades. We also know that there was nothing sinister about the deaths of Lily's parents either, and that Petunia doesn't resent her because Voldemort had killed them like many theorize. From there, the way to the popular view of the car accident was clear. After all, assuming Lily's parents were in their early 60's **_**at the most**_**, if not younger (which is more likely, in my opinion), there's no reason for both of them to die naturally before James and Lily's deaths. A car accident seems like the most obvious thing. That's the way I see it anyway**

**Anyway! In the next chapter: as if things weren't bad enough, now the Potters are once again the target of more trouble, but that's not all… Someone's stirring up trouble with the Marauders… but who?**

**Well, you'll have to wait for Wednesday to know, and the new chapter… **_**Doubts**_**…**

**-Star of the North**


	46. Doubts

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Hello! I can't believe that I'm almost at the end of my story. Just four more chapters to go – two weeks, and this huge project is going to end!

Well… I hope you will enjoy what is left – please let me know if you can :) And without further ado (and because I don't have anything in particular to say)…

Enjoy!

**Chapter Forty Six - Doubts**

"Side-along Apparition is still too dangerous for a child this young, James," Lily explained patiently as the young couple stepped out of the front door of their building, Harry in Lily's arms, as James carried the nappy and toys bag that was surprisingly heavier each time they went out of the flat. "It could crack his skull since it's still too thin. You should know that better than I do - being the born wizard between us two, and a trainee Healer on top of that."

"Yes, but you're the one who swallowed all those parenting books, no?" he asked, though the amusement in his voice was forced.

Only minutes before they had been told via an urgent owl that one of their comrades had died. Frank refused to elaborate on who it was, but instead wrote that Dumbledore ordered everyone to Headquarters, regardless of where they were at the moment. It had to be bad for such an urgent summons.

The two walked briskly down the street towards the nearest Underground station from which they would take the tube to the station near Diagon Alley. From Diagon Alley they planned on going through the Leaky Cauldron's fireplace and to one of the spots where the Order concealed its emergency Portkeys. It was quite a hassle, but they would never do anything that would harm Harry.

They never made it as far as the local grocery store.

They were only two buildings away from their own when a huge blast made them clutch each other urgently and shield Harry with their bodies. The seconds passed, but neither heard any sounds of panic coming from the everyday Muggles walking around them.

Cautiously, James, whose arms were wrapped safely around his wife and son, raised his head. It was as though nothing had happened. The Muggles continued to go about their business, a few giving them peculiar glances, one old lady frowning at them and then lifting her nose up in the air as though to say, "young people these days!" with a huff.

"It came from the direction of our building," Lily said almost breathlessly.

James nodded. "But none of the Muggles seem to have heard it. And-"

"Is that _smoke_?" she asked, choking.

He looked sharply at the direction her eyes were fixed on and noted that smoke was indeed floating lazily up into the pale blue skies. They exchanged horrified glances, and without another word, ran towards their building, ignoring the increasingly strange looks they were given by passersby.

When finally they reached their floor, breathless from their quick climb, little Harry too petrified in his mother's arms to make a sound, they stopped, their expressions torn between horror and relief that they had not been there when whatever had happened came to be. They could only imagine what would have happened had Frank's letter not arrived at the time it had.

The door to their flat was torn off its hinges, its edges seared and deformed as though hit by an extremely hot flame. Clutching each other's hands tightly, almost painfully, the young couple inched their way inside, James discarding the toy bag, drawing his wand at the ready. As they entered, Lily could not stop the tears that came down her cheeks in a bright cascade.

Where once had been a cheery, cosy flat, with colourful baby toys strewn all over the otherwise clean floor, there was now a pile of ruin, all contained within the blackened walls that seemed intact on the outside. Separating, Lily and James winded their way through the mess of burnt objects that was their lives only a few minutes before, occasionally bending to sadly pick up something precious that was hardly recognized in its present state.

A few things were still usable, but not many. James could barely muster the voice to conjure a bag so they could gather whatever could be salvaged. There was so little left of what was, for the couple, an entire lifetime. A half-charred album of wedding photos and photos from Hogwarts, a somewhat sooty picture-frame holding the only one of James' paintings to survive the catastrophe, an embroidered pillow made by Lily's mother...

As quickly as they possibly could, they gathered all that was left and then exited the sad remains of their flat. They could not stay there. They will never be back.

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Remus did not need his eyes to tell him that Sirius was the person who just slumped into the chair next to him. The smell of sweat and the heavy sigh that escaped his lips the moment he hit the chair were enough. His friend had obviously just arrived from the Auror Academy after training.

"Rough day?" he asked, not bothering to look at him.

"You have no idea," Sirius replied. "Hey, Wormtail. Managed to get out of the office all right?"

Peter, who was sitting on Remus' other side, nodded. "Told the boss Mum was not feeling well and could I possibly go home early today, thank you very much. He met Mum. He let me go immediately."

"See?" Sirius replied cheerfully. "Even your mum has her uses."

"Oh, ha-ha," Peter said sourly. "You haven't seen me for almost a month and you choose to celebrate our reunion by making fun of my mum?"

"Sorry, mate. That's just the way I am. Any of you know what's going on? Moody didn't say, and it's not often that we're all called here."

"Someone was killed last night," Remus softly said. "No one knows who. Though I suppose that by the time everyone gathers we'll know for sure."

"I see," Sirius said, his light mood darkening. "Prongs and Lily not here yet?"

"No. Haven't seen them as... Merlin, you don't suppose-" Remus' breath hitched. It never occurred to him that the ones killed could possibly be-

All three Marauders exchanged terrified looks.

"No, no," Sirius said hurriedly. "We can't jump into conclusions. They're probably just delaying because of Harry. The little monster is giving them trouble and that's why they're late." But even to his own ears it seemed that he was not very convincing.

Almost ready to jump out of their seats and go look for their friends, the Marauders watched as more people filed into the room. Almost everyone else was already there when Dumbledore called for silence. His eyes surveyed the assembled before he frowned and said, just before Remus' heart sank in his chest with dreadful knowledge, "I see the Potters aren't here, yet. Did you contact them, Frank?"

Remus did not even hear Frank's confirmation, his relief so great that he had to take several deep breaths before he could think of anything else. So James and Lily were alive – at least when Frank had contacted them. That took quite a load of his shoulders. But where were they?

The other members of the Order also seemed uncomfortable with the idea of the Potters not being there yet, but Dumbledore, whose exceptionally grim expression did not change, did not seem to mind it as much, most likely thinking that the couple could take care of themselves.

"Well, we can't wait for the Potters to arrive," he finally said. "Someone will have to update them about what had happened.

"Dorcas Meadows is dead."

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As the members of the Order left silently and separately, the atmosphere at Headquarters was heavy. They had already lost some of their members, but knowing that Dorcas' life had been taken by Voldemort himself made it all the more pronounced.

The Marauders watched the others going away, their heads bowed. They all felt the same. Now was truly not the time to be alone. Especially not when they were so worried about James and Lily. They probably should have gone to see if the two were all right, but it was of vital importance not to link the homes of the members with Headquarters on the off-chance that someone was following them. Looking for their friends would have to wait for a while.

"Let's go to the Leaky Cauldron for a pint," Sirius suggested. "It'll probably make us feel better if we're drunk off our arses."

At that moment, being drunk off his arse sounded appealing to Remus. The fear of what might have happened to Lily and James and then the knowledge that though they were fine, if Frank was to be believed, Dorcas Meadows was _certainly_ not fine, had left him drained.

"I'm all for it," he said. "Join us, Wormtail?" he asked, turning to his other friend.

Peter shook his head. "Wish I could stay with you," Peter said sadly, shaking his head and looking more dejected than before. "But I had better go and get a bit more work done before I head home for the night." He sighed. "Merlin, I really wish I didn't have to. I'm in no mood to shuffle paperwork around with that news weighing down my mind…"

Remus put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. "Come by later, then, if you have the time. I imagine none of us want to be alone right now."

"Thanks, Moony," the shorter man said with a half-smile. "Goodbye, Moony, Padfoot."

They both nodded before heading for the Apparition point and from there to the Leaky Cauldron.

Minutes later, when they were both ensconced in a shadowy corner of the pub with their drinks, Sirius sighed heavily.

"I can honestly say that this was the most terrifying moment of my life," he said, shaking his head. "My heart literally sank into my stomach. I was so sure that this was the end. I mean, I'm sorry about Dorcas and everything, but for that one moment when I was sure it was Prongs…"

"You don't need to explain that to _me_," Remus said. "I felt the same as you. I wonder why they didn't come, though. I hope nothing happened with Harry."

"He was perfectly healthy last I saw them, but I'm told babies are fragile."

They continued drinking in companionable silence.

"I can't believe _he_ himself went for Dorcas," Sirius said after a while. "The woman was talented but I never realized she pissed him _that_ much."

"Remember that it could be any of us next," Remus said sombrely. "With every successful mission and each one of his minions downed he's bound to hate us more and more. He probably doesn't know all our names yet, but it shouldn't take long for him to deduce who we are. There are only so many people who will openly side with Dumbledore these days."

"You're probably right, but that doesn't mean we can quit, now does - What the-" Sirius cut himself off suddenly, looking at the pocket of his jacket, and then reaching with his hand to take out his mirror. He frowned, exchanging a brief glance with Remus. In recent months James had very rarely used the mirror to contact his friend. They agreed it should only be used in the case of an emergency.

"Prongs?" Sirius asked cautiously, half turning as to hide what he was doing from the other clients of the Leaky Cauldron.

"Padfoot," James' voice acknowledged, sounding strange. "I… Please… can you come and get us?"

"Come and get you? James, where are you? When we saw that you weren't in the meeting we thought it was you Dumbledore gathered us all to talk about! What's going on?"

"Please… just… come and get us. I need a portkey and I don't think I can summon the will to create one. Please."

Remus did not like the begging note in his friend's voice, and by the expression on his face, neither did Sirius. James did not _beg_. He asked, commanded, or said - but never begged.

"Of course I'll come get you," Sirius immediately said. "Where are you?"

"The café, three blocks away from… from home. Please come quickly."

"Be there in five minutes, Prongs."

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The Lily and James who were sitting at the Dawn's Break Cafe were different than the ones Remus had seen only two days before. Lily's hair was all a mess, she was pale, and there were clear tear marks down her cheeks. She looked devastated. Her head was cradled in her hands and as she looked their way, Remus had the feeling she was not really seeing them.

Harry was in James' arms, happily chattering in his father's ear. But James' hold seemed slightly too tight, and his expression was haunted. He sat on his chair, looking prepared to fight if he had to. Remus expected him to relax once he spotted Sirius and himself. He did not.

He _did_ sound somewhat relieved, though. "Padfoot," he said thankfully. "Moony. I am so glad you came."

Another quick glance at his friends made Remus even more on edge. Their clothes were stained with soot; they smelled faintly of smoke, and aside of Harry's bag, there was also another bag at their feet.

"Whatever happened, Prongs?" Sirius asked gently, taking a seat beside Lily, looking at her with concern.

"Death Eaters," their friend said shortly. "They blew up our flat just as we were leaving for the meeting."

"They blew-" Sirius let out in a strangled voice. "A-Are you hurt? Is Lily hurt? Is _Harry_-"

James tiredly raised his hand to quite their friend down. "We're all fine, Padfoot. Physically, that is. We were already outside the building when it happened. It's just… the _shock_ of it, you know? The knowledge that they got to our _home_. To the place which is supposed to be the safest for us. Knowing that had we delayed five more minutes we could have _been_ there when the place blew up. And we were so _careful_. We changed flats every few months, we never told anyone aside of our closest friends where we were going… How could they have found out?"

"Prongs…" Sirius said faintly before falling silent. Remus knew how his friend was feeling only too well. What _could_ they possibly say to their friends who had just had their home blown to smithereens?

"Have you… gone into the flat afterwards?" he finally asked, unable to stand the silence.

James looked up from the table and said, "I guess it was rather stupid of us, to rush there as soon as we heard the explosion, but it was our _home_. Everything we owned was there. All our memories, everything… Almost nothing was salvageable. What little was, is here in this bag."

The two Marauders glanced down. It was a terribly small bag, and Remus had the feeling that it had not been enchanted to be bigger on the inside.

"Those are just… _stuff_, James," he slowly said, and immediately had the feeling that Lily woke to the sound of those words and was about to protest, and so plunged on without giving them a chance to reply. "Stuff can always be replaced. No matter how much you treasured some of those things – isn't it enough that all three of you are alive and well? Isn't it enough that Harry is unhurt – that the two of you are here to hold him? I think that's what matters most. You can buy new furniture and new books and whatnot. Maybe you can't replace photographs and paintings and other memorabilia, but you can make new ones, attached to new memories. Think about it for a bit, and I think you'll see it that way too, no matter the pain."

The couple looked at him blankly, and all he could hope for that his words would sink in.

Soon afterwards, Remus bid that others goodbye and Sirius escorted James and Lily to his place. Seeing as the house of Lily's parents had already been sold, the money split by the sisters (had Lily received her fair share? No one knew), and Potter Manor had been closed for more than a year, the Potters would be staying there until they could get their lives back in order, while Sirius would temporary live in Keira's place.

That night Padfoot's Doghouse received several more layers of protective charms.

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Remus found that working had helped taking the edge off of the trauma of knowing that Lily and James had almost died the day of the meeting. His boss commented in surprise about the fervour in which he tied the magazines to be sent, and even gave him a bonus for that week's work. In fact, Remus had worked so hard on the last day before the weekend, that by the time he got back to his room, he was so totally exhausted that he was ready to get into bed with all his clothes and shoes on and simply sleep like that.

His plans were foiled, however, by a hesitant knock on his door.

Mrs. Lark was there, already in her nightgown and hairnet. She looked mildly disapproving, but did not say anything except for, "You have a guest," before bustling away, muttering darkly to herself, leaving a very familiar person guiltily looking after her.

"Oh, hey there, Wormtail," Remus said, opening the door entirely to allow his friend to enter. "Been a while, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, sorry about that," Peter said with a nervous grin. "The office's been keeping me busy lately. Killer overtime."

"Does is at least reflect in your salary?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow, taking the bed while offering Peter the chair.

"Ha! You wish!" Peter said, rolling his eyes. "You know how it is, Moony. The Ministry will work you half to death but is very frugal with its money. What can I say?"

"Yeah, but it's a pity that you can't come as often as you used to. We rarely see anything of you these days. So what brings you here today?"

Peter sighed, slumping in his seat. "Prongs and Lily, actually. I heard about the attack on their home from Sirius. Can't say I'm very much at ease with that fact. It means You-Know-Who is becoming serious about taking them down. But I can't tell _Prongs_ I'm worried. He'll just laugh it off and say that nothing can kill him or something along those lines. I just... I needed someone to talk to who feels the same, you know? Dunno. Maybe... Maybe we can come up with something to help them. I know I'm not one of the brightest people, so I might not be of much help, but surely you can think of something!" He looked genuinely ashamed at himself for not being 'one of the brightest people'.

Remus felt a pang of pity for him. This was possibly one of the few times Peter had actually said something that revealed he was not entirely unaware of the fact that his mental faculties were much lower than those of his friends. For so many years he had endured the ridicule of others with a smile and a shrug. It was really worrying to hear him mention this loudly.

"Don't worry about that, Wormtail. Even if you say I'm brighter than you, I'm stuck at the same impasse. I have no clue whatsoever as to what we can do to help. Except, of course, if we find out who the spy is," he added as an afterthought.

"Spy?" Peter's head rose sharply.

Remus raised an eyebrow. This may have been the first time he had mentioned this possibility out loud, but the thought had been lurking at the recesses of his mind ever since Lily and James' abduction all those months before. "Come now, Wormtail. Don't play coy. How could Voldemort possibly know where Lily and James moved to? Very few people knew about it, and they've been extremely careful, coming and going from the flat. It's more than likely that he's been _told_ by someone where to find them. It might be painful for all of us to consider, but a spy _does_ exist."

Peter shook his head. "No, I understand what you're talking about. Of course it's been on my mind as well. But... I suppose it's just too hard to consider, you know? The people who knew about their location are all our friends. How could one of them possibly be a traitor? We've known each other for _years_. I just find it hard to believe."

They sat in silence, each pondering those words, thinking to themselves. Finally, Remus snapped. It was all too much, and Peter coming to his home and raising the subject only made it an even more painful and hard to take.

"Well, can't you give a guess?" he asked in growing frustration. "I've been wracking my brains as to whom it could possibly be, but I simply can't come up with any names."

His friend looked thoughtful, considering the question. His forehead was creased into a frown. Of course, they were all worried about Lily and James. The fact that they were rapidly rising in Voldemort's list of People to Kill was not lost on any of the Potters' friends.

"It would have to be someone who can be enough of a trickster to pull it off," Peter finally mused, settling more comfortably in the tattered armchair. "Someone who may have already committed treachery at some point in the past."

Remus nodded absent-mindedly. Of course, his friend was right. The spy would have to be very accomplished in the arts of sneaking about. Someone whom they thought they could trust. Almost without noticing, he began voicing his thoughts. "They would have to have some sort of insight into the Dark Arts. Someone close to Lily and James, but somehow with a background that would explain why they turned to Voldemort. Maybe with relatives who are connected to the Dark Arts-?"

"Oh, come on, Moony! You can't possibly suggest that _Sirius_ is the one to pass the information!" Peter said incredulously, suddenly straightening in his seat. "I mean, I know he's a Black and all, and they're as Dark as they come, but… this is_ Padfoot_ we're talking about! We've known him for years. He couldn't do that. He _wouldn't_."

"No, no!" Remus said hurriedly. "I wasn't thinking about Padfoot! I couldn't possibly! He's our friend and he has shown his loyalty to us many times in the past. James is his best friend - he owes him too much and loves him and Lily too dearly to do something like that - and he hates his family, we all know that."

Peter seemed to relax somewhat, though he still looked distraught at the suggestion that Sirius might be the spy. "I don't think you should even _consider_ such things, Remus," he said uncomfortably. "It smacks of disloyalty to your friends. Even though Padfoot fits the profile almost perfectly, you must know it could never be him."

Remus nodded wearily. Of course it could not be Padfoot. Never Padfoot.

But…

Later that night, after Peter had said his goodbyes, still looking a little uneasy, Remus found himself thinking over their conversation, and parts of it came back to haunt him.

_I mean, I know he's a Black and all, and they're as Dark as they come…_

Sirius' entire family - aside of Andromeda - were up to their eyebrows in Dark magic, and he knew for a fact that Sirius had gone visiting his brother, Regulus, several times in the months before his death. He had foresworn anything to do with his family, and yet he had gone and met with his brother - a known Death Eater. Could it possibly be? Could it be that despite everything that had happened in the past years - between Sirius and his family members and between Sirius and the Marauders - Sirius returned to his roots? Was it possible?

After everything that James had done for Sirius, befriended him, supported him, kept him alive and by his side, could Sirius possibly turn on him? On Lily? On _Harry_? His own godson?

Perish the thought!

But despite all that, despite the fact that his conscious mind told him firmly that it could not possibly be, the seeds of that thought were already in place...

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Sirius was exhausted, physically and mentally. Though he had hoped that the vigorous training at the Academy that afternoon would take his mind off things, all it did was tire him to the point where he could not fight off the terrible thoughts that swum around in his mind.

James and Lily had almost _died_. They were five minutes away from dying in the explosion of their flat. Their luck held this time, but who was to say that it will happen again? His best friend has almost been killed and there was nothing - absolutely _nothing_ - that he could do about it. He could not protect him and he could not stop the person after his blood. That alone made him frustrated - with himself and with the world in general.

He was lying on the sofa at his flat, one arm thrown across his eyes, blocking his view, the other slumped to the floor. He was the abject portrait of defeat.

Lily and James had moved out the day before, having found a small flat somewhere. It could not have been a particularly good place, seeing as they found it so quickly, but they told Sirius they hated imposing on him. They still had not told anyone their new location, but he supposed that was the obvious thing to do, given the happenings of the week before.

He was just about to drift to sleep when a quiet knock on the door alerted him. Heavily getting to his feet, he headed for the door, grumpily opening it.

"Oh," he said upon seeing who his visitor was. "Wormtail." He moved aside to allow his friend to enter.

"Sorry for dropping in on you like this," the shorter man said, taking a seat. "I didn't realize you'd just be back from training."

Sirius waved it off, slumping again on the sofa. "Never you mind that. It's been a hard week for all of us. It's natural that we would like company. In fact, I was just about to drink myself into insensibility. Would you care to join me?"

"'fraid I can't," Peter said with a faint smile. "Got work tomorrow."

"So do I!" Sirius said, but did not press.

"I was just at Moony's."

"Oh?"

"He seemed troubled, so I thought I'd come by his place. Awful place, that one is. That old biddy he's living at is downright terrifying."

"Yeah, well. It's all he can afford. Anyway, you're one to talk – you're still living at your mum's most of the week, and she's a terrifying old biddy all by herself."

Peter snorted. "You don't hear me cracking jokes about _your_ mum, now do you?"

"No," Sirius said easily, "but I crack enough jokes about her on my own. How is Moony, then? Haven't heard from him since we picked James and Lily and got them safely to her parents'."

"Well, that question is kind of tricky to answer," Peter said, scratching at the back of his head. He sat down on Sirius' somewhat rickety sofa and accepted the bottle of Muggle beer Sirius had brought out of his refrigerator. "I mean, I don't speak to him as much as I used to. He pretty much keeps to himself these days, and it's not like he has a demanding boss and job like you and I have. Dunno. Do _you_ talk to him often, theses days?"

"I have to admit that I don't keep much in touch with people except for James and Keira, but I think Moony mostly keeps to himself. He visits Lily and James about once a week, that I know. Aside from that? Who know…"

Peter looked uneasy, his eyes drifting over Sirius' mismatched furniture and eccentric décor. He was sitting on the edge of the sofa, almost as if ready to flee at a second's notice.

"What's bothering you, Wormtail?" Sirius asked. "I know we're friends and everything, but you'd usually go to James with your problems – or even Moony – before you'd come to me. So what's wrong?"

Peter bit his lip. It was a nervous habit that Sirius had thought he had gotten rid of years back. He chewed on it as though his life depended on it, his rounded face becoming drawn. "It's… It's about Moony," he finally said, quickly glancing at Sirius to see his reaction.

Sirius frowned. For some reason he had the feeling from the very beginning that this was where the conversation was leading. Why, though, he could not possibly say.

"What about him?"

"I don't know about you, Padfoot, but it seems to me as though he's keeping something from us. I mean, it's not like he used to be an open book before, but lately it seems to me that he confides in us less and less. Do you get that feeling, too?"

Sirius felt a little uncomfortable at that. They all had secrets to keep. Even Remus was entitled to a few secrets of his own, since his greatest secret had already been broken several times before. But if he was honest with himself, and took a moment to think it over, his friend had not been himself since they left Hogwarts and entered the adult world. It was something so gradual, that until Peter had actually voiced the thought, it did not occur to him. Of all of them, Remus was the one who suffered most from the transition from childhood to adulthood.

"He's acting a little… _shifty_ lately, I suppose," he finally said.

Peter nodded in agreement. "I felt so, too. It's not that I think it's his fault, Padfoot," he said quietly. "He's had a run of bad luck, what with the worsening anti-werewolf legislation, but don't you think we're a little too trusting around him?"

"Moony's our friend, Peter," Sirius said, though doubt entered his voice. "It's a little farfetched that he would go to the Dark side just because he's a… a… a Dark _creature_. That's just like saying I'll go to the Dark side just because I'm a Black."

"I know, I _know_. I'm not saying that he's a Death Eater or anything, but you don't _have_ to be one in order to pass information, do you? I mean, a person doesn't always know who he's talking to, and when a man in Moony's situation is in need of a sympathetic ear…"

"He has _us_," Sirius said. "If he's in need of a sympathetic ear, he can always come to one of us!"

"You think I hadn't thought about this?" Peter replied, sounding somewhat frustrated. "But think about it. You as an Auror and Prongs with his hybrid sort of a job are in the very middle of things - you have the jobs of your dreams. Even _I_ have done rather well since school with my rather mundane Ministry job. But Moony… We both know that the poor man's a hell of a lot smarter than _I_ am, and while you are brilliant, he has so many qualities that top you if the two of you contended for the same line of work - and look where we are and where he is. He gets tossed from one job to another, can barely pay rent for a place that hosts _beggars_ - who are we for him to talk with? We won't understand. At least that may be the way he thinks."

Sirius shook his head, refusing to believe. "I... I need to think this over, Wormtail. I mean, we all suspect there's a spy, but... for it to be _Remus_..."

"Seems impossible, doesn't it?" Peter asked lightly. "But we have to keep our minds open to all options. There's no telling from which direction danger and deceit would crawl our way. Anyway, I suppose it's time for me to go, mate. I see you're about ready to drop off your feet. See you next week or something?"

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius mumbled, deep in thought. He barely noticed Peter exiting the flat as he considered his words. _Could_ it be Remus? The kind-hearted, quiet Remus? The one always ready to lend a hand, to give up an entire evening just to help a first year that did not get the hang of Wingardium Leviosa? The one who implicitly forbade them to risk their lives for his sake? It seemed almost impossible to consider, but thinking over everything else Peter brought up... Remus had the potential to be the greatest of them all, with his patience, determination and systematic thought-process, but there he was, mostly unemployed and miserable, shunted from one workplace to another without certainty of where his next meal would come from.

It was something to consider, and once he came to a conclusion, if - _if_ - he decided that Peter suggestion may have something in it - he would have to go and talk to James about it. He and Lily had to be warned. And after that... Well, after that, the traitor will have to pay - be it Remus or someone else.

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Not long after the day Dumbledore informed the members of the Order of Dorcas' death and Remus' little chat with Peter, the young werewolf realized he was looking much more closely than before at Sirius. It was not even intentional at first. He would suddenly find his eyes drifting to him, and then Peter's words would pop back into his mind. Gradually, however, it became a habit that he could not shake.

On the outside, it seemed as though the man was the same as usual – bright faced, handsome, with an infectious, happy laughter and a cheeky grin. He joked with James, flattered Lily and doted on Harry. Business was as usual, but Remus found himself wondering if under the surface things were any different.

They were all out in a Muggle restaurant, celebrating the twins' birthday. James, being the rich gentleman that he was, insisted on paying for the entire evening, including expensive wine and desserts for everyone. Remus knew full-well that it would not make so much as a dent in the Potters' vault at Gringotts, and that it made James feel so much better.

The atmosphere was cheerful, and they knew they did not need to worry about Harry needing his bedtime this time, since Alice Longbottom volunteered to take care of him for the night, something which for some reason made the Potters calmer than any other babysitter. It was really amazing how they had connected with the older couple. It had also been a long time since Lily and James had enjoyed a night out with their friends, and everyone was determined to make the evening successful, but Remus' uneasy thoughts, coupled with the meaningful glances Peter threw his way every now and then, soured it quite a bit for him. He just could not bring himself to consider that Sirius was the one passing on information on their friends to the Dark Lord.

But then again, all the people (not including Lily's parent, who had no reason in the world to talk to Voldemort and Dumbledore, who was without doubt _not_ the spy) who knew where the Potters lived were gathered right there in the restaurant. Logic (which had always been Remus' best ally, after all) then suggested that the one betraying his friends was one of those seated around him, smiling and laughing and exchanging nostalgic moments from Hogwarts and anecdotes from their new lives.

Why did it have to be Sirius?

The unremarkable Haley could have been secretly jealous of her brilliant redheaded friend for years. Rowena could have been in love with James, keeping it to herself and letting that love fester. Wren could have turned to the Dark in exchange for her health. Keira could have been quietly nursing a grudge against James for living while her sister had died. Peter could have been offended by something the couple had said. Hell, if he was honest with himself, even he could have had reasons to turn to the Dark. The fact that he did not was irrelevant.

The Dark could appeal to practically anyone in a moment of weakness. Being good and brave and honourable took will and determination. It was oh-so-much easier to just give in to human nature's most base emotions. It was easy to turn bad. It was getting back to good that was almost impossible after you had fallen. The very thought of it made Remus' blood run cold. Anyone could be the traitor. The greatest of friendships could crumble because of temptation, or envy, or even intense love. Anything could corrupt a person. Even the people most close to them.

He looked at the young people surrounding him, wondering if he could believe any one of them to have gone Dark. But the constant nagging of Peter's suggestion at the back of his mind kept drawing his eyes to Sirius, who was at that moment cracking jokes with a slightly intoxicated Wren.

Was this the face of a traitor? Handsome, full of laughter and happiness, with not a single line of worry marring the tanned skin? What could he possibly hide behind those grey eyes?

With a slight sound of disgust, he turned his head away from Sirius, opting to strike conversation with Haley, who was at the moment a junior assistant of one of the under-secretaries of the Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports. She seemed to be doing rather well, and regaled Remus with stories of weird patrons of her department.

"Makes for a pretty awkward calling card, all in all," she finally said, referring to her job title," but at least the pay gets me through the month without relying on my parents for help."

"And that's nothing to be laughed at," he said distractedly, his mind once again on the business of the traitor. It just seemed as though he could not get his mind away from the matter.

His thoughts floated to Hogwarts, with its lush grounds and endless hallways, and, more specifically, on that woeful day back in sixth year, when Sirius had first shown his willingness to kill. Strangely enough, it was this specific event and the things that followed it that made Remus so dubious as to whether Sirius could truly be the traitor.

True, he had shown somewhat homicidal urges back then, putting two of his friends in a near-fatal situation and exhibiting what could be described as temporary insanity. But he had also shown great remorse, and had given his life to James, to do what he wished with it. That very sobering moment, when had tried to take his own life, knowing he had almost killed his best friend, was what was on Remus' mind at that moment, and the scales started moving from one side to the other at an alarming rate. Dare he believe it? Dare he put a friendship of almost a decade at jeopardy, or dare he risk the lives of those dearest to him?

With a heavy sigh, he buried his face in his hands, forgetting he was supposed to be talking to Haley.

"All right, Remus?" she asked gently. "You look dejected, and this is supposed to be a happy occasion."

"Oh, just the feeling I have the fate of the world on my shoulders, and I don't know what to do about it," he said lightly as he possibly could. Haley and the other girls knew nothing of the Order and the work the Marauders and Lily did for the sake of the entire wizarding world. They all thought Voldemort was after their friends because of James' work as an Auror, and the fact that they both loudly proclaimed their support for Dumbledore. Remus never really wondered why none of the girls, excluding Lily, were invited to join. Were they less trustworthy? He did not see that happening. He could understand why not Haley, Rowena and Wren. Those three were never very politically oriented, and showed no extraordinary abilities or will for fighting. But Keira? James' cousin, the Auror-in-Training, the talented witch. Why on earth not? Perhaps Dumbledore just did not want to risk having the Palmers lose the only child they had left. That sounded like something the old man might do – most specifically if James had gone and begged him not to ask her, which was also likely.

Haley smiled. So unremarkable, she was still a sweet girl who cared deeply for her friends, and even though she was not so close to him as to the girls, Remus thought she was genuinely worried about him and wanted to make him feel better. She said, "You were always all-too serious, Remus. It becomes you, most of the time, but sometimes you have to let go. Try to live a little, even if things are bad."

He gave her a half-smile, but inside, he was feeling a little better.

Things would look up. Eventually.

**Ah! I wanted this chapter to be out for **_**months**_**! So this was my take on the start of suspicion between Remus and Sirius. After all – how do two best friends become so suspicious and hate one another? I also hope I managed to show a different view of Peter. It always bothered me in fanfiction that Peter is referred to as an utter idiot without an innovative thought of his own. Had he been such an idiot, how could he have fooled the other three, who were certainly bright?**

**Anyhoo! In the next chapter: Sirius and Remus are going head-to-head, James finally loses his patience, and the brotherhood of Marauders is crumbling, one bit at a time. Things are growing darker still in **_**Murky Waters**_**.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed – and I hope that all those who read this story are continuing to enjoy it! Just four more chapters to go…**

**See you all on Sunday!**

**-Star of the North**


	47. Murky Waters

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Hello, everyone! Relatively short chapter today, but packed with events, nonetheless. And this chapter brings us to ((gasp)) the last two weeks of _The Story of Four Friends_! I hope everyone's is going to hang on to the story to the last :)

And again, as always, many thanks to those reviewers who left anonymous reviews and can't receive individual replies – thank you! You're great!

That said, enjoy!

**Chapter Forty Seven - Murky Waters**

Spring was upon them, but even though there had been several lovely, sunny days, Remus felt wretched.

Things were _not_ looking up at all.

For over three weeks he was out of work. After his last boss had sent him away, he realised he had probably worked in most of the wizarding small businesses at a convenient distance from his home, and where he had not, word was already spreading. The continuous stream of rumours regarding the werewolves siding with Voldemort and attacking at his bidding was doing its work. And it did not help that Remus knew that at least the Waverly wolves did join him. From the little he had seen before fleeing the farm all that time ago, he had no doubt that those who would choose Cassandra's way would be put to death – immediately and cruelly.

Dejectedly, that week he had to go to his parents to borrow money for Mrs. Lark's rent. His meagre savings kept him eating, but he could not afford to pay the rent anymore without going hungry. He sadly concluded that if things will not somehow become better soon, he would have to go back to living at his parents'. Though he knew they would both be happy to have him, he did not want to become someone who lived off his relatives.

To make things worse, about a third of the Order members were incapacitated, due to missions gone wrong, and it seemed as though things at the world in general were becoming darker and darker. Remus felt as though the very air was choking happiness and joy from the hearts of people. As though invisible Dementors were floating around and sucking every good feeling out.

All in all, he was not in a very great mood as he entered the Order Headquarters and saw the oh-so-few people congregated around a table instead of sitting in a circle as they had done back when it all started. They had lost so many already – the Prewet brothers, Dorcas Meadows, Marlene McKinnon, and now Caradoc Dearborn was nowhere to be found, and they were all starting to fear for his life. His mood soured even further when Dumbledore raised the subject of werewolves.

"A few months ago," the Headmaster started, "Remus was sent on a low-profile mission. His aim was to re-infiltrate the werewolf shelter in the Waverly farmstead and see if the rumours about the werewolves siding with Voldemort are true or not. Sadly enough, it seems as though our worst fears have come to pass. Together with information gathered over the last few months by others of our number, Remus' first-hand experience reveals the full depth of the werewolf problem. Remus, if you don't mind telling everyone what you told me?"

And so he told them. He told them of the people he had met on his previous stay in Waverly, and how the force balance now changed with the arrival of Fenrir Greyback to the farm. He told them of the dejected, frustrated, bitter people he had come to know over the short time he had been there.

"We don't have any chances of getting the Waverly werewolves to keep neutral any more," he summed in short. "Now that Cassandra is dead and Kensington is the doting, grovelling servant of Greyback, they are sure to join the Dark. And I sincerely doubt that other werewolves in other shelters would feel differently. Anyone who objects him will be put to death."

"Doesn't he even try convincing them first?" Alice asked, appalled. Around the table, other members of the Order also looked uneasy.

"He doesn't have to," Remus replied laconically. "In many ways, werewolves in a group tend to act like a pack of wolves. They have leaders – usually both an alpha male and an alpha female – that's the way it happens. We're human most of the time, but there's the sense of the wolf as well, which demands submission to the stronger, more brutal werewolves – unless of course you're the equivalent of a lone wolf, who doesn't go with a pack of their kind. All Greyback really has to do once he gets to a shelter, is to finish off the alphas. Which is exactly what he had done at Waverly. Kensington – who immediately recognized a stronger specimen – chose not to fight and keep his life. That's the human in him. Had he been a real wolf, he would not have gone down without a fight. But he stepped back. Then all Greyback had to do was to take care of Cassandra. _She_ was a real wolf. She wouldn't give in. She had her principles and wouldn't step back. And so Greyback killed her. Once she was out of the way – no one would dare touch him. There's a new alpha in Waverly, and I fear that soon he would take all the werewolves like that."

Cassandra's scarred, pale, drawn and beaten face surfaced in his memory, and he felt his throat choking. The woman had most likely saved his life that day, surviving as long as she did when Greyback began torturing her – a decidedly human trait.

"I don't remember seeing something that shocked me as much in a long time," he confessed, the image refusing to let go. He had to say _something_, or his heart would burst with pain over the proud woman's death. "I actually pitied her."

"Did you now?"

The silence of the people around him, digesting what he had said, was broken by those hard, unforgiving words. All eyes turned to Sirius, who sat in the shadowed corner, his arms crossed over his chest. There was none of the warmth that usually accompanied his voice when speaking to one of his fellow Marauders. His eyes glinted in the gloom as they stared directly at Remus.

"Yes, I did," Remus replied firmly, trying to catch Sirius' eyes and demand by looks alone what was he implying. "She had been such a proud old wolf, impressive, decisive, _dominant_, and she had been reduced to that – that pile of skin and bones."

"You sound like you practically admired her," Sirius accused. "Do you sympathize with her cause now as well?!"

"What are you trying to say, Sirius?" Remus demanded. "If you're trying to accuse me of something, then say it to my face! Don't skulk in the darkness like some bottom dweller!"

"You want me to say it to your face? Fine! You've been with the werewolves for _weeks_! And suddenly you're sympathizing with them? You're finally in the company of people like you – who's to say you haven't had some sort of change of heart?!"

"You dare implying-" Remus spluttered, "_You_ dare implying that _I_-"

"Yes! I dare! You-"

"That is _enough_."

To the surprise of everyone in the room, it was not Dumbledore who had called out, stopping the verbal fight before it could escalate to something much worse. With his hands clutching at the edge of the table so tightly that his knuckles turned white, his face pale as a sheet, and his chair fallen on the floor from the force of his rising, James stood, staring at the two. "Sit down," he managed to grate out.

"But, Prongs-" Sirius began.

"Sit. Down. _Now_," James let out, each syllable coming out clearly and with emphasis. For the first time in who knew how long, Remus found his friend's expression to be completely unreadable. But now it was clear to everyone – those who had known them during their schooldays and those who had not – why James was the unofficial leader of the Marauders. When he used that tone of voice, no one dared argue. He took a deep, shuddering breath, before saying in a much quieter, yet no less powerful, voice, "I don't want to hear another word from either of you on _any_ subjectuntil this meeting is over. Not another word." Then he picked up his chair and sat down again, his face stony.

Not surprisingly, neither Sirius nor Remus uttered another word for the rest of the meeting, but it at first did not stop them from actively glaring at one another from their opposite ends of the tables. This did not escape James, who growled threateningly until they both averted their eyes and spent the rest of the meeting staring at the rough surface of the table. It was needless to say that Remus did not wish the meeting to end. He just knew he would get an earful from James. Three years and a bit of being attached to Lily practically by the hip made him just a little bit more of a scolder.

Inside, he was quietly simmering. Did _Sirius_ of all people dare call _him_ a traitor? Remus' suspicions now grew ever stronger. Sirius was actually trying to turn James against him, using his unfortunate affliction. He could not believe his ears. However, the face that James seemed to be angry at them both equally set his mind at ease just a little bit. Had he taken Sirius' underlining meaning at face value, his behaviour would not have been anywhere near as equal.

To his alarm, when the meeting ended, James simply ignored both of them. Taking Lily's hand in his and shouldering Harry's bag, he resolutely turned his back on them both and started walking away. As he watched him going, Remus was nearly knocked off-balance when someone roughly bumped into his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Sirius glaring at him.

"We're not finished," he said ominously.

"I daresay we're not," Remus replied coldly. He could not remember the last time he had used such a tone with any of the Marauders.

"Don't you understand _anything_ about loyalty to your friends?!" Sirius demanded

"Yes, because loyalty had always been _your_ forte," he hissed at him.

"What does that suppose to mean?" Sirius growled in reply.

"You know _exactly_ what it means. Think sixth year, if you will. Think of what you've done to James - of what you've almost done to _me_."

"I was sixteen!"

"And that's a great excuse for you to _murder_ someone, no? I could have convinced Dumbledore to kick you out - to expel you - but instead I kept quiet and I even convinced James that he needs you and helped you become friends again. But you know what they say, Sirius - a leopard can't change its spots!"

"_This_ leopard _did_!" Sirius said sharply, jabbing his thumb at his chest. "And what's this about _murder_? Are you defending _Snape_, now? A _Death Eater_?"

"What has his being a Death Eater to do with anything? If we start murdering people we become just like them!"

This, apparently, was definitely the wrong button to push at that moment. "I'm _not_ a Death Eater!" Sirius burst, his face dark and contorted with anger and loathing. "I'm not a Death Eater and I never will be! And as for you-" his hand suddenly snaked out and gripped Remus by the throat, "-if I ever have the _slightest_ inkling that you're doing something that will hurt James, Lily and Harry – the _tiniest, slimmest suspicion_ – I will come after you, and I will not rest until you die a painful death. Understand?"

Remus never quite realised just how strong Sirius had become, doing his Auror training and going on missions. The hand on his throat was squeezing him horribly, and he was beginning to see dark spots. But then, again, being a werewolf had its benefits. Grasping the side of the palm pressed to the side of his throat, he forcefully twisted Sirius' hand back in a painful manner, making the other man lose his balance and drop to a knee.

"Same goes to you," Remus whispered, before releasing him and walking away.

For a long time he could still feel that burning gaze on his back.

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It was the day of the full moon again. Remus woke up before the break of day, ready for a new day of working until he could not stand for meagre wages. He had managed to get a part-time job at a small bakery a couple of days before, which made it easier to schedule the full moon days off, but this came at the price of having to be there at four thirty in the morning to start the oven and start on the dough. The owner of the business prided himself over doing things the Muggle way (Remus avoided mentioning the fact that Muggles did not have the dough kneading itself, nor fruits peeling themselves, or dishes washing themselves), and had his young assistant help in on everything.

And so four in the morning found Remus already outside of Mrs. Lark's boarding house, bundled up in his coat against the chill of night that would not go away for a few more hours. He rubbed his hands together as teeth chattered, and started making his way to work.

The shop was impossibly colder than the outside, but soon he and the owner, Mr. Lerner, had the ovens going, and after a while he was finally able to start peeling off layers.

He found out that he liked his new job. As backbreaking as it was, and even though it did not really pay all that well, he liked working with the tools and materials, and certainly liked his boss. How long would that last, remained to be seen.

"Mr. Lupin?" Mr. Lerner called from the front of the shop, where he sold his wares. "Mr. Lupin? A friend is here to see you. You may take a half-hour break until the bread finishes rising."

"Thank you," he replied politely, wiping his hands on the apron he was wearing, then taking it off. As he washed his hands, he wondered who would come visit him at work. He always let his parents know where he was working at the moment, but he was always careful to conceal just how many times he changed jobs from his friends, who had the penchant of being overly nosy.

Briskly, he walked out of the back room only to stop dead in his tracks. There was no friendliness in the eyes of the man waiting for him by the counter. In black trousers, shirt, jacket, and boots, not to mention the look of loathing in his eyes, Sirius Black looked like the devil incarnate. He was tapping his foot impatiently, and had his arms crossed, looking to be in quite a huff.

Wary, Remus followed him as he turned his back on him and started walking out of the shop and down the alley that housed the bakery. They walked for a while, Remus trailing a slight distance away, and Sirius not bothering to slow down and wait, as though he did not want to be associated with the man behind him. As though Remus was something incredibly disgusting. The longer Sirius did not speak, the more uneasy, and then irritated, Remus became. At long last, Sirius stopped, but remained standing with his back to him.

"What do you want, Sirius?" he asked with no little irritation in his voice. "I'm in the middle of work and here you are, dragging me to the middle of nowhere."

"I want you to stay away from Lily and James."

At first Remus thought he had heard wrong, and so, staring at the man he had called friend for over nine years, he said, "What?"

"I said I want you to stay away from Lily and James," Sirius repeated, this time deliberately pronouncing each word. Then they stood in silent, Sirius staring ahead and keeping his back to him, as though afraid to be contaminated with Dark Creaturedness or some similar absurdity, if he would look at him.

"You've got a lot of cheek, demanding that," he said after a while, barely preventing his teeth from gritting. "In fact, I think _I_ should be the one making that demand, if anything!"

This angered Sirius enough to make him turn, and now his previously dispassionate eyes flared with barely-contained fire. "You've got a lot of nerve!"

"Oh? _I_ have a lot of nerve? I'm not the one who came to your workplace and told you to stay away from your best friend! I'm not the one who's attacking you at every turn without cause! But maybe I should! Maybe I should go straight to James and tell him exactly what I think about you and about where your _loyalties_ are! I'm not the one who is turning to the Dark!"

Sirius' eyes bulged, and he did not look remotely attractive at the moment, red, flustered, and angry. "And I am? James happens to trust me – and Merlin knows, I'll make use of his trust to make sure he knows just what you are! You claim to be innocent, but as far as I know – you're the only werewolf claiming to side with the Light. To me – and to everyone else – it sounds fishy!"

Remus could feel his hands balling into fists and beginning to shake violently. Never before had he wanted to bash someone's head in so badly. And for it to be someone who was supposed to be his friend…

"I _am_ loyal to the Light!" he almost screamed, silently thanking now Sirius' blockheaded decision to go so far away from the shop. When had he gone on the defensive?

"How can we tell?! It's not like you've ever proven it!"

That was entirely untrue, but neither Sirius nor Remus were in the right frame of mind, which was to what, later, when he was busily banging his head against the nearest hard surface, Remus attributed what he shouted next, which was possibly the most stupid, idiotic, half-witted, foolish, and other numerous synonyms, thing he could have shouted, given the situation.

"Then you'll just have to trust me!"

"Yeah? And why the hell should he trust _you_?" Sirius spat. "A bloody werewolf! A creature of the damn Dark! You've lost _everything_ since we left school! Your reputation, your academic success – everything! I know you're jealous. I've seen the way you look at us – even at Peter, who was never quite as smart as to reach your _ankles_. I can see the hatred building, and I don't trust you. And neither should James!"

Angry, disbelieving what Sirius had just had the nerve to insinuate, Remus stormed back to the shop. He had a lot to do before he could lock himself safely in the basement of the Order's headquarters, where he had planned to spend the night – a night with his friends. He knew Sirius would find an excuse to prevent James from joining him during the night, and Peter already made his excuses earlier that week. He would be alone on that full moon, and somehow, that did not particularly bother him at the moment.

The moon was about to rise and he could already feel his reasoning faltering with every minute that passed.

Tonight he would howl alone.

Tonight he would wish he could have had the big, black dog there and wring his bloody neck.

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Opening his eyes was as though someone was torching his brain. The pale sunlight coming from the half-shuttered window was too bright for eyes that had been shut for who knew how long. He quickly closed them, trying to keep the light out. With one of his senses down, he started feeling all the hurts that he had caused himself during the full moon. His chest hurt, as did the back of his right knee. His arm felt as though it was on fire, and there were probably several bumps and bruises on his head. He could not remember the last time he had harmed himself during the full moon.

He heard the door to the room where he was lying open. It was not the familiar squeak of the door of his single room at Mrs. Lark's house, nor was it the smooth sound of the door to his childhood bedroom at his parents' cottage. Thinking it over, the window he had seen for only seconds just minutes before was in the completely wrong direction. Where was he?

"Awake, Remus?" a soft, strangely familiar voice asked.

The light shimmering on his eyelids diminished. The person in the room with him closed the shutters on the window even more. He slowly allowed his eyes to open. Though his sight was slightly blurry, he could see a woman with reddish-brown hair and dark eyes that eventually came into focus, revealing her to be Wren Carn.

"I've been transferred to Creature-Induced Injuries," she explained, catching the question in his eyes. "They said my talents seem to be in this field. How are you feeling?"

"Like some great big monster tore me up from the inside out," he croaked. This was quite accurate, thinking it over.

"That is only to be expected," she said, sighing. "You'd have to stay here for a couple more days. You've broken most of your ribs - narrowly missing a punctured lung - shattered your left arm completely, ripped the tendon at the back of your knee and there were quite a few other abrasions and tears in your body. You were a complete mess when they brought you in."

"Who did?" he asked, confused. The last thing he remembered was shutting himself in the basement and waiting for the moon to rise.

"An Auror called Longbottom and someone from the Bones family." Her eyes on him were steady, as though she was waiting for him to say something.

He had not told anyone of his plans to go in the basement the night before. Usually the other Marauders spent the night with him and they would leave before anyone would arrive at Headquarters in the morning. Frank and Edgar must have arrived there first and wondered why the door to the basement was reinforced with so many spells. He shuddered to think what he must have looked like when they found him, most likely sprawled on the floor in a pool of blood. He decided to speak.

"You had no idea, did you?" he asked quietly.

She lowered her eyes, shaking her head. "I never thought... I just thought you had some sort of spell-induced sickness like I did. It never occurred to me that it might be something like that. How long has it been-?"

"Long enough," he said with finality, not wanting to open the subject for discussion. "When did you say I can leave?"

"Two days, but-"

"I see. Thank you for caring for me, Wren. I'm sorry you had to discover it this way." With that he turned to his side, ignoring the pain that shot through his arm and leg. Anything to avoid the betrayed, shocked expression he knew was on Wren's face. That was all that was missing to make his week the worst ever in his entire life. Another childhood friend that discovered his secret and was probably disgusted with him now.

He could hear Wren sighing sadly, before the rustling of her Healer robes told him she got up from her chair and was preparing to leave. He heard the door cracking open, before she spoke again, saying, "James is here to see you. Shall I tell him to leave?"

"No, let him in," Remus said dejectedly, knowing that James would somehow force his way past Wren and come and see him, with his permission or without. Gritting his teeth against the oncoming pain, he turned again on his back and managed to push himself into a sitting position. In the gloomy light of the room he could see that his arm was heavily bandaged, and that his leg was raised on a folded blanket. Folding his arms, he waited for James to barge in.

And barge in he did, in his lime-green Healer robes, and with his hair all over the place. His face was incredibly pale, making his eyes appear bigger than normal behind his glasses. There were black marks underneath his eyes, silent testimony to a sleepless night.

"Moony!" he breathed out. "How are you? What _happened_? Why didn't you tell me where you were going? I was looking all over for you last night! You weren't in any of the usual places and by the time I got to Headquarters Frank and Edgar had already brought you here. Why didn't you come to the place as agreed?"

"I..." he stopped, furiously wondering what he should say. What he _could_ say. Anything he said now would sound like an accusation against Sirius, and he really was not sure whose side James would take. At length, he spoke. "I'm sorry, Prongs. I... I had a fight with Sirius over some nonsense right before sunset and I was so angry that I just didn't think. I'm sorry I worried you, but I'm fine. Really."

James looked as though he was about to shout before taking control of himself and saying, "I don't call being broken to pieces _fine_, Remus. You could have killed yourself in there. You could have lost too much blood before they got you to the hospital." He sighed. "Please don't do this ever again, all right? Merlin. A fight right before transformation. What were you and Padfoot _thinking_?"

What indeed.

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On the first week of June that year, Lily and James excitedly informed their friends that they had purchased their very first house. It was in an old village called Godric's Hollow, the place reputed to be the birth place of Godric Gryffindor himself. Many famous witches and wizards originated from that village, and yet it was mostly Muggle and those simple people seemed oblivious to the practical masses of powerful wizarding folk which had come from their midst. It was quite in the middle of nowhere, but the people there were friendly and kind even to strangers, and it seemed as though the older neighbours accepted the Potters with open arms.

Of course, that might have been part of the fact that the community was very small, and everyone knew everyone, but it did not matter, since Lily and James were very comfortable there. The cottage that they had bought was not large. It had two stories, but each storey was rather small. However, it had a large garden where Harry could run around and where they could sit in the afternoons with friends.

"So why aren't we invited to see it, yet?" Remus asked James one afternoon. He had come by St Mungo's to get a wound caused by a Venomous Tentacula he had been trimming for an elderly witch for the price of ten Galleons treated. Once the venom was extracted and his hand bandages, he somewhat woozily made his way to the tearoom, where he was told James was, having escorted a patient there.

"Honestly?" James asked with a slight, embarrassed grin. "Because the place we bought it basically so rundown that until we get it all habitable, we don't want you to see it. No one had lived there for _years_. Not since the old lady who lived there died, and it fell into such a state that the three of us currently camp out on the kitchen floor every night, since that is the only place where we already had everything fixed."

"Then why did you take it in the first place?" Remus was quite surprised at the revelation.

"Lily fell absolutely in love with it," James admitted. "I had my doubts, but she took one look at the exterior and at the garden – grown wild as it was – and she said that no matter what the state is inside, we're taking that place. And seeing as I have the money to pay for a little remodelling… I thought I'd indulge her. And besides," he hesitated for a bit, as though wondering if he dared divulge something very personal, "this will make us feel like the place is really ours, you know? Starting from scratch and building it up. It shouldn't take long, with magic and everything. We should probably have it done by the end of the month. Can you wait that long?"

"'course I can. You don't want any help, though?"

"Nah. I think we'll enjoy doing it by ourselves," James said, grinning.

From the glint in his eyes, Remus felt that inquiring further would be dangerous to his health. Besides, he _honestly_ did _not_ want to know what Lily and James were getting up to when alone and with Harry sleeping.

The mere thought of it made him shudder.

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Diagon Alley was mostly empty these days. The existence of the threat of Voldemort and his Death Eaters was becoming more and more oppressive. People of all layers of society became afraid of stepping out of their homes. The once-bustling street, where wizarding families shopped and enjoyed a day out, became desolate and gloomy. Though the street had not been attacked, people did not feel safe there anymore. No one knew what could happen anymore.

Walking quickly down the near-deserted street, on his way to the apothecary, Remus sourly thought that the state of Diagon Alley perfectly reflected his own set of mind. He was scraping the jobs he was doing from the very bottom of the barrel. Jobs that took a day or two, a week at the most, usually for old people who could not trim their garden anymore, or wanted their home painted, he even tried getting a Muggle job, but being the scholarly type he never excelled in being a waiter, doing backbreaking construction jobs or even riding a bicycle and delivering newspapers. And without a concrete diploma from a Muggle institution, he could not really write he had any type of education for any serious job's resume.

What could he possibly tell them? I don't know anything about the human body, or Muggle History of Europe, or even about Muggle systems of government, but I can do one mean _Wingardium Leviosa_? He snorted to himself bitterly. He would be committed to the mental department of some Muggle hospital before he could so much as blink.

He was once again late with his rent-payment to Mrs. Lark, and the old woman started looking at him from the corner of her eye every time he passed her by, and he had the feeling that if he would not find the means to pay her soon, he would be unceremoniously kicked out of her house. He did not want to ask for money from his parents again, but that grim idea was becoming more and more real as the days went by and he still had not found a more permanent job.

And to make things even worse, there was the matter of Sirius. His shifty behaviour, his slinking about, his dark glances, all of them made Remus edgy – and worse. They made him feel helpless, for no matter how much he hinted, he knew James did not get the idea. And he knew that if he would try to openly tell him of his suspicions, James would flatly refuse to listen and even turn his back on him.

Though he tried avoiding Sirius as much as possible, things between Remus and the taller man were deteriorating even more rapidly that before. Remus just _knew_ Sirius was trying to poison James' mind against him. Every time he saw them together and Sirius caught sight of him, he could see him whispering meaningfully to James, nodding in his direction. Remus knew he did not have much of a chance against him. Sirius had always been James' best friend – so much alike him. James trusted him above anyone else. It was clear to anyone with a pair of working eyes. Why should James believe the werewolf and not his best friend?

His heart was becoming heavier and heavier each time he caught sight of such a scene, and every time he came by to James and Lily's, in his mind's eyes he imagined what was going on in James' head while they were speaking. Was the smile on his lips just a little forced? Was he faking that cheerful, friendly laugh? Were those words actually a subtle dismissal, telling him he should take his leave? These thoughts made each visit with the Potters an agony for him, and if it had not been for Lily's complete obliviousness of the situation, he probably would have stopped coming.

As a matter of fact, Remus would have thought it was a lost cause and that he should just cut all ties with the Marauders and the other former Gryffindors entirely, had not James pulled him to the side after yet another evening of Sirius and him glowering daggers at one another and only barely resisting from coming to blows.

It was early July, about two weeks before Harry's first birthday, for which plans were already in full motion. Lily had invited everyone for dinner to finally celebrate the purchase of their new house. It was a small company in the end, since Keira was out on a mission, Wren was at home with a cold, and Peter was working night shift for some reason, but it promised to be a wonderful evening – had it not been for the snide comments Sirius threw Remus' way, and the fact that the young werewolf had to retaliate just to make sure James was getting _his_ side as well.

In the end, Sirius left first, fuming, after a particularly low blow from Remus' side, though for the life of him Remus could not remember what exactly he had said. It had to do with Snape, Lily and Hogwarts rumours, but it had brought an abrupt end to the not-so-pleasant evening.

"Why are you acting like such an arsehole?" James demanded, once he had pulled him to his study. "Both of you?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," Remus said snootily.

"Not sure-" James stared at him disbelievingly. Then he burst. "For Merlin's sake, Remus! You think I'm bloody blind? Do you think I'm _stupid_?! You and Sirius are at each other's throats for _months_ now! You think I can't see what's going on? Every time we all meet the two of you just _have_ to make things go sour. I don't think I've enjoyed an evening with the two of you ever since the meeting concerning the werewolves siding with Voldemort!"

"What do you _want_, James?" he said tiredly. This apparently, was too much for his friend.

"I want to know what's going on with you and Sirius!" he shouted. He was pale and the months of little sleep and constant moving were finally getting to him. "I'm tired of all those dark looks you're throwing in each other's direction. I'm tired of those hints that you think are subtle about each other. I'm tired of all this separation and everything that happened ever since Voldemort put Lily and me on his black list! We are the Marauders! Friends for always and for ever. What happened to us?"

The last part was said in such a small, defeated voice, that Remus felt his heart breaking within. How could he tell James that the man whom he considered his best friend was only a pretender and a spy? How could he tell him that he just _knew_ that Sirius was the one passing information to Voldemort? How could he tell that to _James_, who, more that any of them, believed in the infinity of friendship and in the complete inbreakability of ties forged when they were young?

Shaking his head in defeat, he said, "I'm sorry, James. What happened between Sirius and I... it's a disagreement and we have to sit down and settle it between us like grown men. You and Lily should not suffer because we're having a little squabble."

James snorted at the _little_ part of the sentence, but said nothing.

And then Remus gave what must have been the most painful promise he had ever given, effectively shutting the door on his attempts to make James see that Sirius was dangerous to him. "I promise that from now on I will not argue with Sirius and that I will do all I can to mend what was broken. I'll make it work. You'll see. And two weeks from now, we'll make Harry's birthday the best he would ever have. I promise."

**Dear, oh dear. Remus' luck just can't keep up with him anymore, eh? Our boy is going from the frying pan and into the fire – and none of it is his fault! But that's life, I suppose…**

**In the next chapter: Harry's birthday! And that's all I'm going to say ;) Wait for Wednesday, and **_**A Sunny Day**_**!**

**See you all on Wednesday!**

**-Star of the North**


	48. A Sunny Day

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Hello, everyone! Would you believe that I almost clean-forgot that today was Wednesday? Too much work and too little sleep. Ah, well!

Anyway, this chapter constitutes the last cheerful moments of this story – so enjoy it while you can… :) Short chapter, but I think it passes the point across. Please let me know what you think!

That's it from me! I can't believe that next week it's all over…

Enjoy!

**Chapter Forty Eight - A Sunny Day**

The thirty first of July, 1981, little Harry's first birthday, was a wonderful day. The sun was in the sky and a cool breeze caressed the soft grass covering the ground of the Potters' back garden. Lily's little vegetable patch near the kitchen window and the baby swing James' had hung on the branches of the great tree standing at the back of the yard showed that the little family was beginning to feel at home in their new house.

Remus arrived at Godric's Hollow early in the morning, carrying his present under one arm, holding a bouquet of tiger lilies and pink roses in one hand, and a bottle of wine in the other. He had spent quite a bit of his meager earnings on Harry's birthday present, but felt that the little boy deserved it. What was a new set of robes in the face of a child's happy smile?

He was the first to arrive, but James and Lily were already hard at work. Lily was in the kitchen, putting the final touches on a massive whipped-cream covered chocolate cake on which she had slaved all day on the day before. It had three layers and some sort of chocolate cream between the layers. A child's dream.

But the cake was not her only work. She was in the middle of cooking a great lunch for all the guests invited. Every few minutes she raced from the oven to the stove to the cake and back, trying to do everything without magic. It was one of her little quirks, but since she was a rather good cook, they allowed her those eccentricities.

Remus greeted her with a quick kiss to the cheek and gave her the flowers which she immediately floated into a crooked green vase, with a bright smile on her face.

"James is at the back," she said. "You might have to help him. You know how hopeless he can get once you give him a tiny bit of artistic license." The smile that played at the corner of her mouth told him that she did not mind it in the least.

James was indeed out at the back, hanging ribbons and balloons, floating shiny bubbles in the air and setting chairs in place. By the number of chairs, Remus could tell that only their very best friends have been invited. It made him sad, to know that no one else could come. Too many people already knew the location of the Potters' newest place.

"Oh, Moony!" James said in delight. "You've arrived! Here, start hanging those over the kitchen window." He handed Remus a large bundle of red and yellow ribbons.

Smiling slightly, he did as told. Meeting Lily's eyes as he reached the window and started putting the ribbons in place, he could see the resigned look on her face. She smiled wryly and said, "Now we have no doubt that James plans for Harry to be a true and complete Gryffindor."

"I don't see you arguing," he replied with an answering smile.

"'course not," she said indignantly. "You think I want my son to be in anything but the best House at Hogwarts?"

They both laughed. In the background, they could hear James muttering to himself about placements of balloons and even more ribbons.

Sirius and Keira arrived half an hour later, both bringing gifts of their own, as well as one from Keira's father and one from Alice and Frank Longbottom.

"They give their sincerest apologies, but little Neville has a bit of a fever," Keira said. "They didn't think it wise to bring him here in case he infected Harry as well."

"Wise decision," James agreed.

Then it was time for Sirius and Remus to acknowledge one another. Remembering his promise to James, Remus nodded politely to the other man. "Sirius," he said.

"Remus," Sirius answered, nodding as well.

And that was it. No insults, no hidden threats. Only cordial silence. Remus guessed James had had words with Sirius as well and coerced a promise out of him, too. Then Sirius went to talk with James, and Remus hurried to the kitchen to help Lily with whatever she would let him. This was basically an excuse to do two things. The first was to get away from Sirius and from any temptation to pick a fight with him. The other - and the more important one - was so that he could play with Harry, who was already in his new birthday suit, which Lily had bought especially, dark blue with a baby hippogriff embroidered in green on the front.

It did not take Lily long to realize what his true motive was and laughingly, she sent him to play with her son.

Soon Keira joined him on the floor where he and Harry were rolling a ball that twinkled in differently coloured lights as it moved between them. For a while she just sat next to them, watching their game with a soft smile on her lips. Then, she asked, "Does watching Harry make you want to have children of your own?"

"Sometimes," he said quietly. "But I doubt that will ever happen. No woman wants to have anything to do with one such as me."

"Have you tried it that you sound so certain of it?" she inquired.

He shrugged. "I'm being realistic, Keira. Human nature is that way. The fact that the others and Lily and you accept me for what I am does not reflect on the way most people think. I don't need to try to know what reaction I would get. My getting fired every other week from yet another worthless job seems quite enough of a proof." Determined to change the subject, he came back to Keira's original question. "You so obviously want children, Keira, so why don't you and Sirius finally get married and start reproducing?"

"Why so crude, Remus?" she asked with a small chuckle, but then her face became serious and slightly morose. "I... don't think Sirius is quite ready to settle down yet. We're not even in a real relationship, you know. It's much as it was back when we were at Hogwarts."

He snorted. "Yeah, _right_. You practically _live_ at his place whenever you're off missions. But anyway, that's how he is and I don't think he'll ever change. Reckless, selfish and completely self-centered. You'd have to tell him what you want if you really want it with _him_." He could not quite keep the bitterness out of his voice.

She studied his face after he said it and then shook her head sadly. "I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I understand your feelings. Sometimes... Sirius is a hard person to get close to and he does a lot of stupid things that turn people away from him. But, Remus... I honestly don't think that you're right in your assumption."

He looked up sharply at her, his eyes wide. How did-

"We all know there's a spy," she said softly. "The sheer number of times Lily and James had to relocate just because someone blew up their house or tried to riddle them full of Avada Kedavras is enough evidence of that. But I don't believe its Sirius. He's too loyal to James and he loves Harry and Lily almost with the same ferocity. I must say, though, that he has some interesting theories about _you_."

Remus froze, the ball stopping somewhere between Harry and himself. The situation had become dangerous in seconds. "You can't possibly think-" he began, only to be cut off.

"I didn't say I believed him, Remus," she said. There was a dangerous glint in her eyes. "Had I believed him, I'd have had you in Azkaban _months_ ago. And the same holds for Sirius - don't mistake my affection for him as something that would cripple my job. _Nobody_ hurts my cousin without paying the price - you _know_ that. No. I don't believe you are the spy. It's someone else, but I can't come up with a name."

Remus sighed in relief and let the subject drop. "Look, Keira. Let's just... Let's just enjoy this day. I promised James that I won't cause a scene with Sirius. I will keep my word. Everything else depends on Sirius."

She nodded and continued to watch as he played with Harry, who now insisted on throwing the ball with alarming accuracy at the vase full of flowers his mother had placed on the low table by the fireplace.

"Better not let James see this," Keira said with a smirk. "He might have poor Harry's future planned in seconds. He will have a complete training program ready for him in seconds, and the he'd try making sure the boy would be Chaser at Hogwarts."

They both laughed and then prudently confiscated the ball and tried to convince the disgruntled Harry that his stuffed hippogriff was a good trade. They both silently agreed that it would do much less damage than the ball - if thrown.

About an hour before lunchtime, there was a knock on the door and in came Wren and Rowena, with Haley close behind. They were all carrying presents.

"I swear," Lily said, shaking her head at the number and size of the presents bought for her son, "if this is what he gets for his _first_ birthday, he's going to be the most spoiled child to ever have been born."

"Oh, come on, Lily," Haley said with a small smile. "He's the only child our group has for the time being. Let us spoil him rotten!"

This was true. James and Lily were the only ones brave enough (or, as some would say, foolish enough) to get married almost straight out of school and soon after have a baby. The others barely had steady partners. But then again, Lily and James had always been different, both always knowing what they wanted. Granted, Harry was not exactly a planned thing, but once they realized they had created a life together, they became completely committed.

They made wonderful parents, Remus thought as he watched James pick up Harry and bounce him up in the air as Lily watched from the corner of her eyes to make sure her husband would not drop the baby. But of course, James would never let Harry fall. She knew that and still she watched. How they managed without their own parents around to help, he did not know. He wondered if he would make such a good father as James if someone would grant him that simple wish.

Banishing that thought from mind, Remus joined everyone at the back where their hosts started setting the feast Lily had so carefully created. There was enough food there to feed an entire regiment. There were pies and soup, fried sausages and peas, rolls and pasta, potatoes and steaming rice. There were five kinds of meat and ten kinds of salads. Lily went all-out on this party. The little family would have enough food to last them the entire week or even two.

As they all happily loaded their plates, Remus could see that Sirius was going to keep his word as well. They kept their distance, and when they could not avoid speaking to one another they were cordial enough. They avoided harsh words and situations that would lead them into snapping at one another and fighting. He knew James would be keeping an eye on them as well. He was determined not to be the one to break the uneasy truce. As he told Keira - it all depended on Sirius now.

Everything seemed to go more or less smoothly after his conversation with Keira, and Remus was even starting to enjoy himself, drifting from one friend to another, asking Wren how she was feeling (though not quite meeting her eyes, remembering their meeting two weeks before), hearing about Rowena's latest love escapade and about Peter's latest debacle at the office. It was nice. He could not remember the last time he felt so normal. The sun was shinning, the weather was warm, and he had all his friends around him, all happy, smiling and laughing - almost as though the shadow of war and death was not constantly hovering over their heads, threatening to tear them apart.

With all of his might he pushed those treacherous feelings away. This was a happy day. It was Harry's birthday, and he had promised himself to have fun for once and forget everything about what was going on in the world and in his life in general. Throwing all of the dark feelings and thoughts into the deepest recesses of his mind, he locked them away and felt he was able to smile again, truly and freely.

Finally content, he leaned back on the tree from which the swing hung and watched his friends, a small smile on his lips.

"I hear you started working for the same apothecary Lily works for," Wren said from behind him, making him jump. Despite his acute hearing, he had missed her coming up to him. He wondered if he was getting old.

"Yeah," he replied, settling back, "but it's only for the next couple of weeks, so it shouldn't be a problem. He won't have time to realize what I am and so Lily's job won't suffer and I'll get paid in full."

"Hmm," was all she said, leaning on the tree next to him. For a while they stood in silence, just watching the others having fun. Then, Wren spoke again. "You know, Remus, I've had a bit of a crush on you - back at school. Did you ever notice?"

He was quite taken aback and looked at her in surprise. "Actually, no. I never noticed. You were always quiet and let Rowena do all the talking."

"Much the same as you, no? I always felt close to you, because like me - at least this is what I thought at the time - you were constantly ill and the quiet and reserved one among the Marauders. It always amazed the lot of us that you were part of the group. You always seemed so… I don't know. Too sensible, maybe?" She laughed. "It was during... Oh, I don't know - third year, perhaps? Lasted until halfway through fifth when I decided my affections are better suited for a seventh year Ravenclaw who never gave me the time of day. Feels like some sort of trend, really, looking back. I was ever going for the unachievable."

"And... why are you telling me this now?" Remus felt his cheek heating. He never had a girl tell him she liked him - even if for Wren it was all in the past.

She looked up at him, her eyes clear and clam. "Because lately every time I see you, I can see you are depressed. You keep yourself further and further apart from everyone and, well, you hardly look me in the eyes, as though you're ashamed of yourself. I know you didn't want anyone to find out about your... problem - especially not in the way I did, but you've got to have more faith in people. Have I said anything to you since that day that would in any way indicate that I despise you? That I don't want you anywhere near me because you might not be entirely human? You didn't even give me the chance to tell you what I think. You just kept your distance, as you always do.

"I don't care that you're a werewolf. Admittedly, I was surprised and not a little horrified at first, but most of all I am a little disappointed that you chose not share this with me, or with Rowena or anyone else apart of the Marauders. We were all good friends since sixth year and you never once confided this in us. But I suppose I can understand your reasons for not saying a thing. And, whatever happens, know that I'm still your friend."

"In my defence, the Marauders found out on their own. I never told them," he said with a faint grin.

She smiled at him and then, standing on her tiptoes, pressed a kiss to his cheek. Then she walked to her sister, leaving him stunned.

He shook his head. Really, girls were just too complicated. He idly wondered if he would ever manage to understand one enough to actually make her like him. That made him smile wider than before and relax. Feeling a lot better, he moved to join with the others. It turned out that half of them were busy planning Harry's future for him, their ideas becoming more and more ludicrous as time passed.

"He'll be a star Chaser, like his old man!"

"No, no, no. It's obvious that he'll become the Head of the Aurors!"

"He'll invent a cure for boils!"

"He'll be a famous burgla – ouch! That hurt, Lily…"

"He'll be famous for making the best pumpkin-shaped cakes in the world!"

"No – he'll invent an all-new flavour of Bertie Botts'!"

"Minister for Magic!"

This, as possibly the most ridiculous possibility, knowing that the Potters were not particularly fond of the way the Ministry ran wizarding England, made everyone crack up.

"A song! A song!" Keira suddenly shouted. "What's a birthday without a song?"

"A lot quieter, for one," Haley said with a grin, but everyone else shushed her and so they erupted into a medley of birthday songs – both Magic and Muggle – which had lasted a very long time.

Harry made a happy sound as all his family sang yet another cheerful birthday song, party hats on their heads. They could not have looked more ridiculous, but they also could not care less. This was a day to be treasured.

And then James came from the kitchen's door, carrying outside the enormous cake, with the two lit candles on top of it, singing along with everyone else. He put it down and then lifted Harry from his highchair and held him next to the cake, telling him to make a wish.

Remus doubted the little boy understood a word his father told him, but when James helped Harry blow out the candles, everyone cheered just the same, including Harry, who promptly tried to grip the trails of smoke rising from the candles with his chubby hands, then clapping happily as his father made shapes of the smoke using his wand.

"Pa'foo!" he recognized the shape of his godfather's face. "Moo-y! Mama! F'owe!"

Everyone clapped along with him each time he guessed correctly, laughing and hooting.

Remus could not remember the last time he had so much fun with so little darkness clouding the cheerfulness of everyone around them.

Yes. It was quite right to say that the thirty first of July, 1981 was really a wonderful day.

**In the next chapter: Things are escalating… People disappear, poor James loses it entirely, and the Fidelius Charm makes its appearance. All this brings us to… **_**The Last Step**_**. One chapter before last… Eep.**

**See you all on Sunday!**

**-Star of the North**


	49. The Last Step

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Argh! I knew it was going to happen! Sorry, all of you who read this. Yesterday I was working until ten at night, and was in complete zombie mode from that moment on – updating completely slipped my mind… Really sorry, but I hope that this chapter won't disappoint you…

Thank you to all the people who reviewed the last two chapters – I haven't gotten around to answering your reviews yet, but I will – thank you!

Enjoy!

**Chapter Forty Nine - The Last Step**

It was early October when James came by Sirius' flat, despite the fact that Dumbledore had asked him and Lily to stay at the house whenever they were not at work. He was still in his Healer robes, looking exhausted. He had just come from a mission the night before, and was already back to work at the Hospital. However, exhaustion was not what had motivated him into breaking his promise to Dumbledore, but worry.

The surprised-looking Sirius closed the door behind him and immediately began scolding him, only to be abruptly cut off by the desperate-looking James.

"Have you heard from Keira lately, Sirius?" he asked, his voice almost pleading.

"Well," Sirius said, worry evident in his eyes, "last I've seen her was when we had dinner together at Bristol a couple of weeks back. She was to go on a mission that night with Bradley from Connor's team. She was supposed to get back a couple of days ago. I just came back on Sunday. You mean she never reported back to Headquarters?"

"No. No one had heard anything from her since last week. We know she met up with Bradley and that they set off for the mission, and they checked in with Headquarters a week into the mission, but they weren't heard from since. Moody is frantic and so is Lily," James said, his voice sounding slightly panicked. He, most likely, had skipped over frantic and landed directly in downright afraid. "You don't think something has happened to her, do you, Sirius?" The expression in James' eyes was something Sirius thought he had never seen in his life, and quite honestly, he did not want to see it ever again. This desperate helplessness was not something that fitted together with his image of his best friend.

"What? No! It's _Keira_, Prongs!" he hurriedly assured him. "She's always all right. Either the mission took longer than they had intended, or she probably just needed a little time alone - you know how she is. She disappears for _days_ sometimes."

"Yes, but never without telling me or Lily that she's going," James' voice hushed. If Sirius did not know where she was, then they were truly at a loss. "I'm really worried, Padfoot. I have no idea where she is. They didn't manage to contact either her or Bradley. Neither of them showed up after the mission was scheduled to end."

"Then they probably just went and got drunk and forgot all about reporting! Look," Sirius said, trying to sound comforting, "if she doesn't show until tomorrow, we'll track her down. And when we find her, alive and well and tanning on some beach in South France, you can personally skin her."

James did not look convinced, but through Sirius' gentle coaxing he allowed himself to be shepherded to the doorway and then Apparated home, leaving Sirius alone, to worry on his own. James was right. It was not at all like Keira. Sure, she tended to go off on her own without warning, but she always made sure to let someone from her family or one of her friends know. She was not as careless as to disappear without a trace when times were so troubled.

When he had left her at Bristol, she told him that after her latest mission she was going to stay at his place for a week and not leave the bed for all that time. This, of course, brought into his mind a torrent of somewhat perverted thoughts (as she most likely knew it would), but also made him think. The same thought that had been on his mind all this time.

He truly loved her. No matter what they said to each other, that it was only a self-interest relationship, that they were only friends with benefits and that there were no strings attached, Sirius was finding it harder and harder to maintain this way of thinking.

True, what he felt was probably not the all-consuming love that Lily and James had for one another, but that did not mean that they would not be able to reach that stage later in life. What Lily and James had... well, that was intense hatred that changed into just as passionate love. It was something rare, to be cherished and to be aspired to. What he and Keira had was altogether different. It was built on mutual trust and respect and was started on the shared understanding that they would both do anything to protect James and his happiness. From there, bonding was natural.

What was Keira thinking, disappearing like that and worrying James half to death? This was not like her at all. Somewhere deep in his heart, Sirius was afraid.

Very afraid.

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Remus came by Godric's Hollow a week later, holding a new little jumper Alice Longbottom had knitted for Harry. He was bound there anyway, and offered to take it to the Potters, seeing as Alice, Frank and Neville were not to leave their house either. He was visiting the Longbottoms on Dumbledore's request, asked by the old Headmaster to let the couple know what was going on outside their little world. While both Alice and Frank had difficulties to adjust to their new reality, they seem to be taking it rather well. They were older than Lily and James and probably understood their situation a little better and from a different point of view.

As he entered Lily and James' house, the expression on Lily's face as she greeted him made him concerned. She looked tired, which was only to be expected, but her smile seemed a little forced. It brightened a little when he handed her Alice's gift. It faded again when she said, "He's out back."

Wondering what was wrong, Remus hurried to the kitchen's window, and spotted his friend immediately by the swing he had installed for Harry almost three months back.

James was obviously depressed. There was something nerve-shattering about seeing his friend, the strong man whom he had known for so many years, looking so forlorn and quiet. The person who was sitting on a chair in the back yard of the house at Godric's Hollow looked nothing like the James Potter he knew and loved.

"What happened?" he asked Lily quietly.

The red-headed woman, up to her elbows in the soapy water filling the sink, sighed and shook an errant lock of hair out of her eyes. "On top of Keira's disappearance? Moody and Dumbledore came to talk to him last night. They said he had to quit his job."

"What? Why? And besides, I was just at the Longbottoms' - Dumbledore didn't say anything about Frank having to quit his job!"

"Because Voldemort is getting too close. Dumbledore think he may know where we've moved to - or at least that he knows to what area we've moved, and they both want James out of the picture and hidden safely. They both care for him greatly and don't want to see him hurt. And as for Frank, he's been off the field for months now because of Alice - she was his partner and until Neville is old enough she doesn't want to go on the field again. He was doing a desk job anyway, so it's no trouble for him to work from home. The same doesn't hold for James."

"So they told him he could no longer work?!" he demanded, disbelieving the idiocy of that action. These men _knew_ James Potter. They should have known better! "This job is what's keeping him happy, knowing that he's helping! "

"I know," she said softly. "I tried telling that to them, but they didn't listen. They made me quit my job as well. Of course, I mind less because it gives me more time with Harry, as well as getting ready for the Ministry teaching exams on April, but I can understand his frustration. He talked about going to work despite that this morning, but I knew he wouldn't actually go through with it. He's too worried about Harry to go against Dumbledore's orders."

"We all are," Remus said quietly. "Where is the little devil, anyway?"

"Taking a nap in the playpen. He's been keeping James busy all day, but once he fell asleep... Well, you can see what happened. He hasn't budged from there since lunchtime. I barely managed to get anything into him, either."

"Want me to try and talk some sense into him?" he offered.

She shrugged. "Might as well try. I've exhausted all of my resources."

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Remus opened the back door and stepped into the sunny backyard. James did not so much as flinch at the sound. It would have been curious in an Auror, but Remus knew that his friend recognized his gait. What worried him was that James did not turn to greet him.

"Hello," he said quietly once he was near enough.

"My wife sent you, Moony?" James asked laconically.

"Yeah." He saw little point in denying it. "She thought I might be able to cheer you up. I doubt I would be of any help, but I can offer you some company in your brooding, seeing as I'm a professional brooder myself. You could also tell me how much you want to wring Dumbledore and Moody's necks right now."

At least that got a small, half-hearted chuckle out of the young man. "You were always too smart to be allowed, Moony."

Remus snorted. "Compared to _you_? The bloke who went through Hogwarts without _once_ opening a book? The one who managed to juggle between being Head Boy, Captain of the Quidditch team, full-time Marauder and boyfriend - all at the same time?"

"Ah, yes. The good old days," James said with a faint smile. "D'you wonder sometimes... what happened to those days? Everything seemed so _bright_ when we left school. We excelled in our NEWTs, completed seven years of pranking without being expelled, I finally hooked up with Lily... Where did everything go?" There was so much pain in his voice by the end that Remus feared he might start crying.

"It's all Voldemort's fault," he finally said. "Had he not been there, we could have lived happy, normal lives, just like our parents before us."

"Is it?" James asked strangely after a moment's silence.

Remus was confused. "Is it what?"

"All Voldemort's fault?"

He stared at his friend in shock. James did not seem to notice. He continued staring ahead, but before Remus could say something to express his astonishment, he continued.

"I know what you're thinking, Remus. But I haven't lost my mind. Sure, Voldemort is the most evil bastard to have walked the earth since who knows how long, but would our lives have looked any different without him? Would _your_ life have looked any different? People were prejudiced against werewolves long before Voldemort was born. They would have treated you the same even without him. Did you think we didn't know that you lose your job every month or so? Voldemort isn't the only evil person alive. Maybe if it wasn't him some other lunatic would have threatened Harry's life - a pedophile, a murderer, anyone for that matter. Maybe the bright dreams we had when we left Hogwarts would have still been shattered anyway."

"Never."

It came out more vehemently than Remus had intended, but there was a sense of urgency that washed through him. He had to make James understand. James was now staring at him, with his mouth slightly open in surprise. At least it got some sort of reaction from the man...

"Prongs, listen to me - and listen carefully. No matter what state of depression you have managed to work yourself into, you have to get it into your head: This world is not evil by nature. Sure, there are bad people, but there are also good people out there, and there are people who love you, and Lily, and most certainly Harry. This is a bad time. People are afraid, more than they would normally have been. Our dreams? They aren't shattered. They're just put on hold for a while, until our world gets back to itself. Look at yourself - you have a wonderful, loving wife and a beautiful, brilliant son - you're barely twenty one years of age, and you have accomplished so much already!

"An Auror! A trainee Healer! The youngest trainee Healer to start at St Mungo's since who knows when! We're young and we're still alive, James. As long as we're alive, there is still a good chance that everything will work out fine! And so what if people are prejudiced against werewolves? So what if I get kicked out of jobs every other week? It doesn't matter to me as long as I have you and everyone to fall back to whenever things get bad. You've been my lifeline since first year, James. I didn't let myself give up because there was always you in sight - strong, courageous, optimistic, smart, _loyal_. You're the one person who _never_ gave up on me. The one person who would do _anything_ for my sake because I am your friend. Not a werewolf, not a monster of the Dark - just Remus Lupin, your friend. And now - what am I suppose to do now? Just let you sink deeper and deeper into depression until there is nothing left of the real James Potter? Of the person so many people admire, trust and lean on? I'll be damned if I'm just going to let you fade away like that!"

He was finished. His face was flushed and he was somewhat out of breath after such an outburst, but he was waiting for James to say something. Deep inside, he was afraid that James would push him even further away. After all, this was probably the first time in the years they had known each other that he had shouted at James this way. Was James angry at him?

At long last James moved. His somewhat surprised expression broke into a real smile. Though depression was still in his eyes, it seemed as though Remus' outburst had done its job.

"Sorry, Moony," James said softly. "It's just... I'm so _tired_."

"I understand, Prongs, I-"

"No," James cut him off. "I don't think you entirely understand, Remus. I feel _trapped_. I feel as though everything I love and care about is slowly being taken away from me. My parents, the first place Lily and I shared as husband and wife, Quidditch, Healing, Auror work – and now Keira's disappeared without a trace and quite frankly, I'm very afraid she's lying in a ditch somewhere, dead. And there's this constant cloud of dread over my head – as though my own doom is coming near – and I'm afraid that once I'm gone – _if_ I'm gone – there will be no one left to protect Lily and Harry. I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of being afraid I'm going to lose them each and every day. Everything was so perfect, and now…"

"James, if there's one thing you can be calm about, is that there will be people to care for and protect Lily and Harry even if something _does_ happen to you," Remus said briskly, letting his friend know just how ridiculous he found that fear. "I'm your friend, and I am Lily's friend, and while I'm not Harry's Godfather, I feel like he's my very own nephew. I am never going to abandon them, even if something bad happens to you. But I think you should know that what hurts them both the most right now, is you." He did not even let James voice his surprise at this accusation before plodding right on. "They both love you, and seeing you like this, beating yourself over something that you can't do anything about, all depressed and unhappy – that's tearing Lily apart. If you truly love her, get a grip over yourself and get back to yourself, because right now this is what you have. A loving wife, an adoring son and a house all to yourself. Make good use of it."

James did not reply to this, but Remus thought he saw a faint smile gracing his lips. And so they sat there in silence for a while, before Remus said he was thirsty and that he will be right back. When he got back, with two bottles of butterbeer in his hands, it seemed as though James' mood changed drastically. He looked to be deep in thought, but it was not the depressed pondering that had overpowered him merely an hour before. This made Remus very curious.

"What are you so thoughtful about, Prongs?" Remus asked, sitting by the other man again, offering him the bottle of butterbeer Lily had taken out of the refrigerator. "It's been a while since I last saw you so deep in thought."

"You're saying I'm empty-headed?" James asked with a raised eyebrow.

Remus snorted. "Like I'd ever think _that_. What's on your mind?"

"As Lily must have told you, Dumbledore came by yesterday," James said. "Aside of telling us we are not to go to work anymore, he suggested something that may be a little radical, but he thinks that this is the best chance either we or the Longbottoms have."

"Well, all I can say is _finally_," Remus said with a slight smile. "We've been wondering why he was keeping quiet about how to keep you lot safe from Voldemort. Seems like even the greatest wizards have trouble thinking up solutions at times."

"Yeah, well, he said that there's a spell - you may have heard of it - called the Fidelius Charm. Flitwick mentioned it in passing sometime during seventh year, if I'm not mistaken. It wasn't part of the curriculum, so he only briefly explained it."

"I seem to remember something very vaguely," Remus admitted.

"It's a very complicated piece of work," James said, staring at the label on the bottle in his hand. "Basically it means that our location is hidden as a secret in someone's soul - a Secret Keeper, of sorts. See, say you are our Secret Keeper. Before we invoked the charm, you, Sirius, Peter and the girls all knew where Lily and I live, but _after_ the charm is in place, suddenly the others, not being Secret Keepers themselves, can't find our house. Only if you, as Secret Keeper, choose to divulge our location to them, they will be able to find us once more."

"I see. So what are you pondering over? Who you will choose as Secret Keeper?"

"That is indeed the problem," James mumbled. "I trust you all with my life, so I can't very well decide on whom I trust more, now can I? I don't really want to insult anyone by choosing someone else. I don't want any of you to think that the reason you weren't chosen is because I suspect you."

"Well," Remus said carefully, "just trust your own judgment, Prongs. None of us can tell you what to do. Eventually, it's your life that's on the scale - yours, Lily's and Harry's. Talk it over with Lily. See what she thinks."

"And...?" James said, raising an eyebrow.

Remus frowned, not exactly following what his friend was trying to convey. "And what, Prongs?"

"Oh, come _on_, Moony. You've been _dying_ to tell me this for _months_. You think Sirius is the spy, don't you?"

"I never said that," he replied softly. "True. I don't trust him. Not anymore. I don't know why, but I get an uneasy feeling every time I see him. Every time he's near you, I feel something overwhelmingly dark in the room. Maybe it's my imagination, maybe it's intuition. I don't know. I honestly don't. But I'm not going to influence your decision. Just as I'm aware to the fact that you don't believe Sirius is the spy, I am aware of the fact that he's been trying to tell you that _I_ am the spy. You're at an impasse. I'm perfectly aware of that. Which is precisely why I'm going to leave it to you and not force my opinions on you. I'm not going to make you choose between friends."

James gave him a crooked, somewhat sad, smile. "You're a good person, Moony. I don't understand this problem you and Padfoot seem to have with one another, but I'm not going to be swayed by it. You're all my friends. I will never believe that one of the Marauders is a traitor, because it is impossible. Friends forever, remember?"

The way James was smiling, brightly - for the first time in what seemed like _years_ - happily and innocently, made Remus want to shake his head. That was the way James was. Trusting, loyal, believing. He knew he could not change his friend's mind. All he could do was hope that some of the things he said over the past months somehow filtered down into James' subconscious, and also that Lily would somehow have enough sense to suspect Sirius as he had.

At length, he spoke.

"Friends forever, Prongs. Even if _does_ make us sound like a group of teenage girls."

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After the conversation he had with James, it seemed to Remus that his friend was in a better mood. He stopped brooding, and, when Remus was about to take his leave for the day, spontaneously suggested to Lily that they would invite the other Marauders for dinner. It would take the tension away from all of them, he said. It had been a while since they had all gathered together, and, once Lily and James would go under the Fidelius Charm, it would be a while yet before they could meet again.

With his eyes alone, Remus promised James to be on his best behaviour around Sirius, and since Harry's birthday it seemed that his friend was inclined to believe him.

And so, without further ado, an owl was dispatched, and by the time evening fell, Peter and Sirius had arrived, the first with a bottle of wine and the latter with a flower bouquet for Lily, and several back issues of _Which Broomstick_ for James.

It appeared as though James had also had a serious talk with Sirius, for the young man kept a civil façade next to Remus, and even spoke politely to him. Though it was obvious to both of them that they were no longer friends, they managed to pull off cordiality for James' sake.

The dinner Lily managed to pull off on such short notice was excellent, and the mood was light despite everything. For just a single moment, Remus felt it was like the old days, back when they could openly laugh and talk with each other, not giving a second thought to politics, war or anything but their lives, loves and pranks.

The thin veil of tranquillity which had descended on him so, was soon broken, however, by the urgent knocks of an owl on the kitchen window. Glancing at her husband and their friends, Lily got up and headed for the window, opening it and letting the bird in. It was undoubtedly a Hogwarts owl, big, stately and quite full of himself, and so he let Lily take the letter off him without a fuss and then, without waiting for a reply, took off.

The young woman broke the unmarked seal on the envelope and took out the letter, which was really just a piece of parchment hastily ripped, by the look of the somewhat jagged ends.

"It's from Dumbledore," Lily said, frowning. "He says he's coming for a visit in ten minutes. Strange. He was supposed to come tomorrow morning. I wonder what's changed." She left unsaid the fact that it worried them all terribly. What could possibly have gone wrong that Dumbledore could not wait for the appointed time the next morning?

"Should we leave?" Peter asked.

"No, no. It would probably be something short," James said, sounding assured. "If it's something private we'll just head into the study and then get back to you. No need for you to leave. Tea anyone?"

The Potters and their friends relocated to the sitting room, and James went to the kitchen to make the tea, while Lily gathered a variety of cookies on a plate and went back to the sitting room, where Harry was entertaining the Marauders. The little boy was wide-awake, despite it being well past his bedtime. He was now babbling to himself while inserting small, colourful balls into a plastic box with a round hole at its top. Sirius was on the floor beside him, helping him a little whenever he missed the spot.

It was such a sweet image that Remus' treacherous mind refused to believe that this was the traitor that was putting the lives of his friends in such mortal danger. How could this smiling, caring godfather of little Harry Potter consider giving his own best friends to Voldemort? How could that possibly be?

His train of thoughts was cut short however, by the curt knock on the Potters' front door, and soon Albus Dumbledore entered the sitting room, looking for as if nothing urgent had happened.

"Remus," he acknowledged, not a tiny bit of surprise registering on his face, as though he had known they would be there, "Sirius, Peter. Good to see the three of you as well."

"Albus," they all murmured in acknowledgement as well. With months and even years passing by, it became easier and easier for them to call their former Headmaster by his given name. If at first they stumbled over it and tended to call him Headmaster, or even Dumbledore, now Albus came to their tongues without difficulty.

He took the seat James had considerately vacated for him, he himself sitting on the arm of Lily's chair. Lily had summoned an extra teacup, and poured him tea, levitating it towards him.

"Thank you," he said, taking the hovering cup.

"You wanted to talk to us, Albus?" she asked, picking Harry up and putting him on her lap. All eyes were focused on the elderly Headmaster. "We thought you'd be coming tomorrow to explain the process to us. What's changed?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said, putting down his teacup and looking straight into Lily's eyes and then into James'. "And I'm sorry if my early appearance worries you. But due to certain unforeseen events, tomorrow would be impossible for me to come.

"Now, since I know that you have revealed the matter of the Fidelius Charm to all of your friends, I do not mind having this conversation in here. I will be brief in any case, since from here I will have to go to the Ministry – the Minister waits. Now, I need to ask whether you have chosen your Secret Keeper. The preparations for the spell are almost complete, and it would soon be time to put you under it."

"Well..." James began, but Dumbledore was not finished.

"As a matter of fact, I wanted to offer myself as Secret Keeper. I would have suggested this sooner, but I thought we would have more time. You know very well that Voldemort fears me beyond anything else, and until Harry - or Neville - is old enough, I am the only person who poses any danger to him. He would never dare enter Hogwarts while I am there. I do believe I am the safest person in the safest place. Will you consider it?"

The Potters exchanged glances, and Lily tightened her grip on Harry. Remus could see that she was not happy with something, that she was trying to tell something with her eyes. To him, it seemed as though more than anything she would have liked for Dumbledore to be their Secret Keeper. But apparently she and James had had that conversation before Dumbledore came by, and something was decided, even before his conversation with James that day. He wondered if perhaps the conversation with James had made his friend solidify his decision. Whatever it was, however, Lily was not entirely happy about it. Perhaps she knew something that James did not? Perhaps, if what Remus suspected to come soon would truly happen, she shared his views? Whatever it was, James soon confirmed Remus' worst fears.

"No, Albus," James said, shaking his head. "We thank you most humbly for your offer, but we have made our decision. Sirius will be our Secret Keeper."

**And we all know that he's not telling the complete truth…**

**On Wednesday, the final chapter of **_**The Story of Four Friends**_** will be posted. I don't think I have to tell you what will happen. I hope all of you who stuck with the story so far will finish reading it.**

**On Wednesday… **_**Where Everything Ended**_**…**

**-Star of the North**


	50. Where Everything Ended

**Disclaimer:** Everything here (besides the few things you don't know) belongs to JK Rowling, creator of the worlds of Harry Potter.

**A/N:** 299,445 words, 632 pages, 50 chapters, four years, two stories, one journey.

_The Story of Four Friends_ was started back when I was still in high school, and a fanfiction newbie. The first version (I don't know if any of those reading it today, so many years later, have had the misfortune of having read it) was so bloody awful, that at long last it was pulled down and reconstructed – rewritten from top to bottom – three years ago (ironically, the way the Marauders met in my first version was much closer to JKR's version, but I had changed it since I thought it was rather ridiculous, seeing as Sirius was just eleven and constantly living under his mother's thumb).

The story survived over two or three hiatus periods, some intended, some not, and to those who had stuck through with it – thank you.

Though _The Story of Four Friends_ (this was meant to be a temporary title, by the way) hadn't been my baby the same as _Tale of a Time Long Gone_ had been, I'm still very proud of the result, and here's hoping you feel the same.

I hope you all enjoyed this work, and will be extremely grateful if you drop me a line and tell me how you feel about it.

This is the last chapter.

Enjoy.

**Chapter Fifty - Where Everything Ended**

Remus' blood ran cold as he heard James' words. He had expected it, of course, but nothing had prepared him to actually hear it with his own ears. Sirius could _not_ be allowed to be the Potters' Secret Keeper - not after everything Remus suspected he had done.

But how could he explain to James his reservations? He knew that Sirius had been systematically poisoning their friend's mind against Remus, telling him that he could not be trusted because of his affliction. After all, werewolves were dark - monsters that could not be controlled. And though Remus did not think James believed Sirius' accusations, that he still thought Remus a loyal friend, he could see the doubt sometimes creeping into James' eyes, before he would shake his head and smile again.

"I see," Dumbledore said gently, but Remus could hear the troubled tone in his voice. Apparently the young werewolf was not the only one to doubt the wisdom of that act. "Then I would suggest you would do so as soon as possible. Voldemort is already on your trail. His Death Eaters have spread far and wide, attempting to find you and lay their hands on you. I hear he offers great prizes for the one who captures you."

"We know that, Albus," Lily said bravely. "And we're not going to delay much longer. Just long enough to say goodbye and make our home ready for us to stay indoors for a long time. We are not rushing into it thoughtlessly."

"I know that, Lily," Dumbledore said heavily. "I only wish it could have been different."

"It was our choice," James said. "We took that risk when we decided to join. We knew it could happen. By Sunday, I promise you, we will be under the Fidelius. You won't hear from us until the threat is eliminated. He won't find us, Albus. Sirius is our most loyal friend. He would die before betraying us."

"It's true, Albus," Sirius' voice said reassuringly. "Even if they would torture me, I will not say a word. I will not reveal their location. They are my best friends, and I will not let harm reach them."

Oh, what hateful lies! Remus wanted to spit in Sirius' face and tell all those congregated in the room what a liar he was, what a spy, what a traitor. But he could not. It would only support Sirius' case against him. So he stayed silent and glared at Sirius as the bastard finished assuring Dumbledore of his loyalty. He glanced at Peter, the only person to believe his suspicions, and caught his eyes, hoping that perhaps he would come up with a way to convince Lily and James to change their minds and go with Dumbledore's suggestion.

Peter only shrugged helplessly, the expression on his face worried. Remus knew that salvation would not come from that direction, either. He wanted to punch something. Desperately.

"All right, then," Dumbledore said, getting up. "I suppose that my job here is done. Lily, James, I wish you the best of luck, and may we all meet together, in a few months, when it will be all over."

They all nodded gravely, the men shaking hands. Dumbledore turned to go, but before he could leave, Lily threw herself into his arms, tears on her face. The startled Headmaster of Hogwarts looked down at her. "Why, Lily, whatever is the matter?"

She sniffed, burying her face in his chest. "I just wanted to say goodbye properly. I'm afraid of what is to happen."

Her words chilled Remus to the bone. _Did_ Lily fear the same thing he feared? Would she believe him if he told her his suspicions concerning Sirius?

But, no, for soon she continued, saying, "I know that Sirius would never betray us, but Voldemort has such horrible powers. What if he finds some Dark spell that will negate the Fidelius?"

Dumbledore sighed. "I don't think that will be possible, my dear, but either way, I suggest that you and James always be on guard, ready for such eventuality. We will meet again, my friend."

And with that, the only man Voldemort feared walked out of James and Lily's house, leaving the Marauders and Lily alone to contemplate what had come to pass.

Remus felt bitterly cold. Despite his best efforts to convince James that he would be much better suited for the job of Secret Keeping, despite the fact that even Dumbledore was not happy with the Potters' decision, despite _everything_, Sirius would be their Secret Keeper. Remus hoped against hope that he was wrong all along, that Sirius was not the traitor, but he knew better than that. His instincts were correct. As he left the house that night, once again exchanging worried glances with Peter, he had a feeling that this would not end well.

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It was the final day before that fateful moment was scheduled to occur, and Remus was coming to bid his friends good luck. He planned his arrival to be during the late afternoon or early evening. Early enough to play a little with Harry, for whom he could not have cared more had he been his own son. He also did not wish to keep Lily and James awake. He knew only too well that the two only rarely got a good night's sleep these days. These were troubled times - especially for that couple - which was why the Fidelius spell was so sorely needed.

He was not sure why his heart was beating so heavily in his chest as he strode up the three steps leading to the balcony at the front of the house at Godric's Hollow, or why his feet almost refused to move. He made that walk often enough, but this time was different. He may not have known why, but it scared him. It scared him so much that he was afraid of knocking on the familiar door.

He stood there, in the cold, for several minutes, his hand held inches away from the wooden surface, poised to knock, frozen in place. He just could not do it. Something inside told him that there was a sense of dread in the air - as though things would never be the same again for him and for his friends. Somewhere in the back of his mind he nursed some demented idea that he could stop it from happening if he just would not come in.

Finally, knowing that Lily and James were waiting for him, he swallowed with difficulty and did that final step. The rap of his fingers on the door was hollow and for a second he shivered. It reminded him so much of the sound made by a coffin's door, slamming on its only occupant.

As the door opened, however, he was welcomed with the warmth and cheeriness that was the Potters' home. It was such a huge contrast to the bleakness outside that for a moment he stood at the entrance, dazed and disoriented.

"Moony!" James greeted delightedly, pulling Remus into a rough hug, then closing the door firmly behind them. "Lily and I were beginning to wonder whether you would come in or continue standing there like a petrified statue! Come in, come in!"

In seconds the frozen Remus was pulled into the house, kissed on the cheek by Lily, pushed into a softly padded armchair by a roaring fire and given a cup of freshly brewed tea.

"What has gotten you hesitating, Remus?" Lily asked curiously as she took a seat next to James on the sofa in front of him. "We saw you from the kitchen window, standing there as though you were hit by the full body-bind."

"I…" he did not know what to tell them. "I don't know. I suppose I was afraid to come in and… find you gone."

Lily and James exchanged glances and in a moment, Remus could see how much his two friends had changed in the past few months, ever since they were forced to go into even more intense hiding and rapidly change locations. He internally cursed Sirius for doing that to them. How could that man _do_ that? Was he not their friends? He was James' best of friends… how could he be the traitor?

But Remus knew what he saw and knew he was not imagining things. It could only be Sirius. And they were putting their lives in his hands. Tomorrow night, in fact, their lives, and Harry's life, would depend on that traitor's good faith.

"You're being ridiculous, Moony," James said softly, though his face drawn and troubled. "He hasn't located us again as yet, and with the Fidelius cast tomorrow… I think it's just your regular paranoia speaking."

But Remus knew better than that, as did James. They both knew he was not just being paranoid, and that the Potters were in grave danger. Every single moment they continued to draw breath was an affront to Lord Voldemort. He could clearly see the strain on his friends.

James, always lean and athletic, was now so thin that Remus was sure he was not eating properly. There were dark stains underneath his eyes and, if Remus looked very carefully, he was obviously on edge. He hated being confined. James loved the big outdoors, adoring more than anything to take on his animagus form and running wild for hours. He loved being in the air, flying as though he had no care in the world. It all came to an end when the Spy made it impossible for him and Lily to settle quietly in one place. Remus could not remember the last time his friend had been outside for more than five minutes. James was choking, and there was nothing any of them could do to help him.

And Lily… the beautiful and fiery girl he had known since first year at Hogwarts was still there, but now she looked tired and drawn, just like her husband, her smile just a little strained. She, too, was too thin and pale, and looking as though she had not gotten a lot of sleep lately. Her smile brightened a little, however, when a small hand clutched at one of the legs of her worn jeans and a toothy smile greeted her, accompanied by bright green eyes that looked at her adoringly.

"Oh," she said, a little surprised. "Didn't I put you in the playpen, angel?"

James laughed - a true, pure sound that Remus missed terribly. "That boy's been able to get out of the playpen for the past six months. It's driving Lily _crazy_. And he's already tried flying the other day."

"Flying?" Remus asked, alarmed. Surely James was not as foolish as to leave his broom in the open!

"Yes," Lily said dryly, picking her son up and putting him on her knees as he giggled and tried reaching for one of her red locks. "From the top of the stairs. Luckily enough he somehow got to the bottom without a scratch on him and then had the nerve to glare at me when I scolded him."

"Did he tell you why he did it?" Remus asked curiously, knowing that despite the fact that Harry was only a year and several months old, he was extremely developed as far as speaking was concerned, and could convey with a few babbled, malformed words why he thought whatever mischief he had performed to be well-justified. A Marauder's son through and through.

"He said he wanted to see what it was like to be a bird," James grinned. "He's convinced that before he reached the floor he managed to fly several feet. He was really upset at his Mummy for not letting him try it again. She almost went berserk."

Remus could imagine that. "Can I hold him?" he asked plaintively. "You didn't really think I came all this way to visit _you_, now did you?"

His friends laughed at this, and Lily got up, handing Harry to him. The child giggled again. "Moo-y!" he cried.

"I missed you, Harry," he said in a very serious voice - right before he started tickling his sort-of nephew for all he was worth.

They spent almost an hour in that warm room, Remus lavishing Harry with attention while speaking to the boy's parents of everyday matters. None of them wanted to talk about the danger that surrounded their lives ever since leaving Hogwarts. None of them wanted to mention that every moment without the cover of the Fidelius, Lily and James' lives were in danger of ending quite abruptly.

Instead, they brought up memories of Hogwarts, of the rivalry between Lily and James that had turned into friendship and then into love, of pranks pulled and teachers stumped. For some reason, it made Remus ache even more. It sounded to much like a final goodbye to him. But it could not be goodbye. Goodbye was something that happened when you were old and wrinkly, when your friends came to bid you farewell because you were old and it was your time to go. They were only at the start of their twenties. They could not be saying goodbye.

When he had arrived, Remus had been reluctant to enter the house. Now he did not want to leave. He had the worst feeling about leaving his friends' house. He stalled that moment of leaving until he saw that Lily and James both had trouble to keep their eyes open and the conversation lively. It was then that he knew he had to go.

He sighed. "I suppose I'd better go soon. You both look like you need a good night's rest - and I'm sure that Harry would appreciate waking up in bed and not on the floor." He softly smiled in the direction of the tiny figure sleeping on the hearthrug in front of the merrily crackling fire, curled up around his stuffed hippogriff that looked about to protest violently.

He looked expectantly at his friends, searching for signs of nervousness or fear as they so clearly knew that they were trusting their lives into the hands of someone else in the most dangerous of ways. He found nothing. They appeared determined to go through with it, believing the Fidelius to be their last chance of giving their child an even semi-normal life for a little while. He so fervently wished there was something he could do to convince them to change their minds, but if even the great Albus Dumbledore could not do that…

"We'll see you in a little while, Remus," Lily said with a tired, but bright smile. "It can't last for much longer - this has to end at some point. We will be safe. Sirius would _never_ fail us. You know that, don't you?"

"Of… of course," he muttered, battling with himself to say what he _really_ wanted to say. That Sirius was the spy they all knew existed, that if they trust their lives into his hands, he will never see them again - not in a few months. Not _ever_. He just knew that the moment Sirius would have Lily, James and Harry under the Fidelius Charm he would go straight to Voldemort and hand the secret over. He just _knew_ it, and the werewolf had learned long ago to trust his instincts.

If only they had warned him when they first befriended Sirius. But, then again, he should have known. Once a Black, always a Black - with his heart as dark as pitch.

"Come now, Moony," James said lightly from his seat by the fireplace. "You cannot possibly suggest that Sirius would reveal the secret under torture. He is stronger than that - we both know that."

"Not under torture," Remus muttered to himself so that neither James nor Lily could hear him. What he said, however, as firmly as he could, was, "Of course not, Prongs. I would never suggest such a thing. But now, the hour is getting late, and you must preserve your strength. And now, I should leave."

"Oh, but Remus…" Lily said uncertainly, though he could see she was on the verge of exhaustion, as was James.

"No," he said gently. "You are my friends, Lily. You don't have to pretend for my sake. I can see you are on the verge of collapsing, and Harry _does_ need his parents, don't you think?"

She smiled and James nodded.

"Very well, Moony. Then we will allow you to escape our clutches," his messy-haired friend said lightly and got up to his feet.

They embraced warmly and then Remus bent to kiss Lily's cheek.

"Say goodbye to little Harry for me, eh?" he said softly and looked at the two of them fondly.

"Of course, _Moo-y_," James sniggered, imitating his son's way of calling his werewolf 'uncle'. "The little brat has the lot of you wrapped around his little finger."

"Naturally, with him being the first second generation Marauder," Remus said mischievously, glancing pointedly at Lily, who huffed.

"My son will not be the troublemaker his father and uncles are," she said decisively. "He will be a good boy, a Prefect and then Head Boy."

"Ah, but my darling Lily," James said, suddenly looking like his old self again, shedding tiredness off, "I was Head Boy and Moony here was Prefect. Don't you forget that!"

She looked mildly put-off, but then smiled again. "He will still be a good boy."

Remus laughed. "With you two as parents - how could he not be?"

And with that he waved them goodbye and left the house. However, his light-heartedness only lasted as far as the garden gate. As he closed it, he glanced behind his shoulder to see the light from the house's windows glowing like gems in the dark. And then, for just a moment, his imagination coloured those lights red, as though dipped in fire.

Or blood.

Deep in his heart, he felt as though he would never see his friends again.

It was the last time he saw Lily and James alive.

The next day James sent him an owl reporting that the Fidelius Charm had been cast and that if Sirius will manage pulling Voldemort and his minions away from them, then in a few months he would reveal to Remus the location of their hiding so that he would be able to see the house he knew was there, and they will all be able to meet again.

That was the last contact he had from his best of friends.

Late at night on Hollowe'en, a long time after the sounds of parties had faded, Remus Lupin finally managed to fall asleep after a long, exhausting week. Even though he knew that James, Lily and Harry were still safe under the Fidelius Charm, for he had not heard anything from them or about them, he could not help but be uneasy. They had never determined who was the spy, and since he knew it was not him, his suspicions, as unfounded as they may have been, were still pointed at Sirius, who, he was sure, was yet to show his true colours. Therefore, that night as he fell into deep slumber, his sleep was punctuated by bad dreams.

In his dreams Remus Lupin did not see his best friend's defiant last stand against Voldemort, did not hear James' last words as he attempted to block the Dark Lord, attempted to save his beloved wife and precious son, knowing they had been betrayed.

In his dreams Remus Lupin did not see the woman he had considered a great friend scream for mercy as the man who had just murdered her husband towered over her, did not hear Lily's pleas to be taken instead of her son, did not see her drop, still trying to shelter her child as the curse hit her.

In his dreams Remus Lupin did not see little Harry stare up at those monstrous eyes, crying for his mother to take the scary man away, did not see the ray of green light hit the child's little forehead.

In his dreams Remus Lupin saw none of that, but when he woke up to the sound of impatient knocking on his room's door early the next morning, he knew what had happened. He knew they had all been betrayed.

And so, on the next full moon, a lonely wolf howled for the moon, mourning Wormtail, mourning Padfoot and mourning Prongs, mourning that friendship, which was forever lost, brought to its swift end by an uncaring world.

-------

-------

_On the night of Hollowe'en, October 31__st__, 1981, the fellowship of the Marauders was broken._

_On the afternoon of November 1__st__, Sirius Black was taken in by a special team of Aurors, who had later on said he had laughed like a lunatic the entire time._

_On the morning of November 2__nd__, Sirius Black was thrown into Azkaban without trial under the charges of spying for Voldemort, and killing twelve Muggles and a wizard, Peter Pettigrew. Among the charges there was one secret paragraph, proclaiming him guilty of betraying Lily and James Potter to their deaths._

_On December 9__th__, Keira Palmer's mangled, tortured body was found by Alice and Frank Longbottom, a short distance north of Bristol, where she had last been seen. She was hardly recognizable and post mortem report declared her dead for over two months, her time of death corresponding with the time Sirius had said to have left her. For years I had counted her death among the endless list of his sins. We never found out who had killed her._

_A few months later, Frank and Alice were tortured into insanity, leaving their young son in the care of Frank's stern mother._

_The old saying goes, 'The greater they are, the harder they fall.' And we fell. We fell long and hard. Of the nine young people who had left Hogwarts only three years before, four remained._

_After the funerals I had lost contact with the twins and Haley, opting to repress all my memories of those days. Only almost eleven years later, a letter from one, Rubeus Hagrid, prompted me into bringing back those painful recollections. As I went through the box of Hogwarts photos that was hidden for all those years at the very back of my parents' dusty attic, thinking what pictures I should send back via owl to Hagrid, my memory fooled me with sights and sounds long since thought forgotten. I ended up sending a hefty package back to Hagrid, knowing Harry would find more use in them than I did. I had my memories. He had none._

_Among the pictures I did _not_ send, there was one taken late into our seventh year. I don't know why I did not send it. But then, I don't even know why I kept it. After all, I had destroyed so many of the pictures with his face on them long ago. It was a picture of the four of us. A picture of the Marauders. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. So young and naïve. We were so innocent._

_Before our great fall._

_Now, as I watch the faces of Harry and his friends, Ron and Hermione, I see little of that innocence we had. Though the two generations' circumstances are uncannily similar, Harry, being Harry, had lost all trace of his innocence long ago, and maybe never had any at all, and his friends, following faithfully in his footsteps, could not have retained it for much longer._

_After winning her fight against the disease that had plagued most of her youth, Wren Carn had started her studies of healing. Today she is married with two children, of whom the first is about to enter Hogwarts. She is the Head Healer of the Spell Damage Department at St Mungo's. I see her every now and then these days, with all those mandatory visits to wounded Order members._

_Rowena Carn, the beauty of our year, had left the Wizarding World following Lily and James' deaths and the finding of Keira's body, opting to search for places where not everything reminded her of the friends she had lost. I met her once, two years ago, while she was visiting Wren at the hospital. She is still as beautiful as I remembered, though older. She married a Muggle lawyer a few years back and now has a young child. She said that they don't know if he's magic or not yet, and that she dreaded to think what would happen if he is, what with the war and Voldemort on the rampage again._

_Haley Banks is still out there. I have recently heard that she is in the running for the heading of her section in the Department of Magical Games and Sports at the Ministry, and though I have often been to the Ministry in recent years, I have yet to have seen her. She is, currently, unmarried._

_And as for me? I'm still out there as well, still ready to continue the fight. Of late, I am constantly reminded of what James had told me all those years ago. "Always own up to your actions," he had said. And I do, James. Dear Merlin, I do._

_I will not fail Harry as I have failed you, and Lily, and Sirius. I will be by his side for as long as I can. I will not repeat the mistakes of the past._

_This is my promise to you all, my dearest friends, a promise I will not break._

_This is Remus John Lupin, and here my story, their story, ends._

**((Takes a deep breath)) wow. I can't believe it's really over. Three years ago, when I posted the first chapter of the new version, I was determined for it to be 50 chapters long (I'm a fan of round numbers – those of you who read **_**Tale of a Time Long Gone**_** will note that it was 30 chapters long, not including Prologue and Epilogue – as well as of symmetry). Over the past year there were times I was sure this was doomed to be a failure – like many abandoned stories in the fandom – but I did it! I succeeded in my self-bestowed mission!**

**Now, this may sound like a cliché, but I couldn't have done it without you – yes, all you readers who took your time and gave this story a chance. If it was well worth it for you – then this story succeeded in what I set out to do.**

**Thank you.**

**-Star of the North**


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